#ecause it had been so long and i was still scared even though i felt better and what’s most heartbreaking but in kind of a positive way was

[eternalstateofoctober]

tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow

[caprina-mints]

Hey. Can I have a headcannon where (Eyeless jack, Laughing Jack, Jane, Liu, Masky) seeing their s/o Masturbating. Lol not sorry

Anonymous Asked : Hey, I have a headcannon with (eyeless jack, masky, Nina, liu, Toby) seeing there s/o hitting there meat?. Ya know like master-bastion. Sorry if this seem pretty fuck up.

____________

So I got two Asks for the same topic and Decided to Just Merge Everything Up in One post! :D I Hope you'll Enjoy It!

Catching Their s/o Masturbating :

Eyeless Jack :

❧ This had been going on for awhile

❧ And by 'that' it means you have been feeling aroused abnormally for some reason.

❧ You're starting to think Jack's Demon Thingy is rubbing off on you.

❧ He wasn't home one time and you just couldn't take it anymore.

❧ You ended up on your bed squirming and moaning his name.

❧ With two of your fingers inside you pumping in and out in a steady pace.

❧ You underestimated Jack's Demon abilities because he could hear your moans miles away from the mansion.

❧ When he heard his name escape your sweet plump lips he immediately finished the Job and came home as fast as he could.

❧ His ears picked up on every dirty noise you made and it made him hold back a growl.

❧ He didn't barge in immediately though.

❧ He peeked through the door and saw your figure on the bed and the expression on your face made it obvious of how needy you were for him.

❧ The moment you moaned out his name again he didn't hesitate to barge in and lock the doors once he was inside.

❧ You were embarrassed and surprised your face was flushed red.

❧ Your actions came to a halt your fingers still inside you.

❧ this demon boi is really fast when it comes to you though.

❧ You just took your eyes away from him for 2 seconds and he was gone.

❧ He was already right behind you purring grabbing your hand and he guided your fingers , continuing to pump in and out of your slick covered hole with his guidance.

❧ " Tsk. Teasing me in the middle of a Job, Naughty princess. I think I spoiled you too much but all you had to do was ask~ and I'll gladly spread your legs open and shove my cock in and out of you"

❧ You threw your head back mewling when he added his own long and slender finger inside you.

❧ " Don't worry princess I'll fuck you so good you'll never be needy for a week~ "

Laughing Jack :

❋ This fucking clown had been toying with you since the very beginning.

❋ He invited everyone to his carnival for the day

❋ And he had been teasing you since the very beginning, From gentle caresses to harsh and rough gropes . And don't even get me started on how he starts dirty talking you while everyone else was standing there so unaware.

❋ The worst part? He had given you a candy to 'suck' on and that candy was laced with some sort of aphrodisiac and you were foolish enough to eat that candy.

❋ You knew this clown had something up his sleeves when he started laughing like a maniac when you arrived

❋ You were blinded with desire and want for him and just imagining how good he could eat you out made you wet.

❋ You were desperate but you still stood your ground because of that little something called pride. Yeah you had it in you but right now you definitely need something in you.

❋ You were slightly dizzy because if suppressing it for too long and your body felt so hot. Your face was red and you were unconsciously rubbing your thighs together..

❋ That clown was enjoying the show.

❋ Fuck him...

❋ But most especially you wanted him to fuck you right now.

❋ ' Beg ' he whispered and you were having none of it. Being the stubborn person you are.

❋ So you immediately found your way to the bathroom where you immediately took off your pants and started doing the deed.

❋ Moaning and panting you began to fasten your pace while adding another digit at the same time imagining L.J's tongue swirl inside your squelching pussy.

❋ Unbeknownst to you that a monochrome clown had followed you inside and was watching you from the shadows.

❋ " Well you seem to be enjoying yourself Baby Sweets~ if you only begged for me to give it to you you wouldn't have suffered "

❋ Ah yes the annoying clown who led you to this mess in the first place.

❋ apparently the drug was strong and your mind began to feel fuzzy.

❋ " A-ah~ Please~ I want you"

❋ With those simple words your hand was pushed back and L.J had already spread your legs wide open his long tongue dragging itself along your wet clit which earned him a desperate and shaky moan from you.

❋ " Sit tight Baby Sweets, I haven't eaten yet and you're my main course~"

Liu :

❦ Oh well this Half Sweet Half Asshole Boy of yours was always out on missions and For the past Week he was barely home.

❦ Which Left You Needy and desperate for him.

❦ You Tried Reaching Out to Him, Grabbing his attention in every way you could.

❦ But he's either and idiot or just innocently oblivious.

❦ The last attempt was made and Of Course Liu was unaware bit you knew full well that Sully was aware.

❦ so You gave up and let him have his way.

❦ One night however you couldn't sleep and needed something to Tire you out.

❦ That was when you remembered a gift your annoying cousin gifted you as a joke.

A dildo.

❦ So why not use it?

❦ That's exactly what you Did.

❦ Arching your back as you muffled your moans with the piece of clothing you gagged yourself with as the silicon material pumped in and out of your slick covered pussy at the same time imagining it was Liu.

❦ You didn't know you needed it this much.

❦ Your other hand groping and touching your breast as you bucked your hips on the silicon material deep inside you.

❦ You never notice your Oblivious Pudding had arrived long ago watching your every move.

❦ You didn't notice him so he took it offensively thinking you ignore him.

❦ So he took the initiative this Time.

❦ You didn't get to react when the dildo was yanked away from you and a future bigger than yours hovered over you with fierce eyes and an aroused expression.

❦ " You have me and you're using a Toy to Satisfy you? "

❦ He growled out and you knew it was a combination of Liu and Sully because of the mix of two voices.

❦ The nerve he had when he said that. You had been asking him to for awhile. Wow he's an idiot.

❦ You didn't answer him and he didn't take that lightly.

❦ he pushed his still clothed and hardened cock onto your dripping pussy making you Gasp and look down.

❦ " I'll make sure you're never using another Toy when I'm done with you... You'll only crave my Dick "

Jane :

❆ You and Jane had a small misunderstanding but it led to an argument which caused you two to ignore each other's existence for the past few days.

❆ You unfortunately made the mistake to Side with Jeff on what's more delicious Ketchup or Mustard.

❆ She didn't appreciate that because she was expecting you to take her side and she never thought you'd actually side with her most hated enemy.

❆ She was extremely Offended and pushed out on you to which you responded calmly with every word she threw even though it was a bit harsh.

❆ You felt lonely and empty without her. You did everything with her and now you miss her so much it actually led you to being sexually frustrated.

❆ You were in your room Playing with yourself your imagination going wild.

❆ You didn't think Jane would actually Barge in on you while muttering an apology but seeing you like that.

❆ well it was a big turn on for her.

❆ She was a bit surprised to because she never took you as someone who would masturbate.

❆ You were speechless and horny at the same time you were so conflicted with your emotions you didn't notice Jane climbing on your lap smirking down on you.

❆ " If I knew this would be a sight I'd be welcomed with I would have came here earlier~ "

Nina :

▶ You and Nina have been dating for a year and well.. You never did have sex because you didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

▶ You were also high key jealous of how much she likes smile child... Mostly known as Jeff.

▶ You never brought up sex with her because you were a bit shy to ask.

▶ But as you observed Nina was oblivious and she sometimes does stuff to make you horny without even trying.

▶ She'd Bend down right in front of you or when you're in the same room together she'd walk out half naked or with nothing at all.

▶ Honestly you try to purify yourself with these unholy thoughts as much as you could but day by day it gets worst and your desire for her growing stronger.

▶ You couldn't handle it anymore so it had you seated on your bed Using Your Hands to Satisfy You moaning her name having one if her shirts beside you.

▶ You were close but Nina being Nina came in at the most unfortunate Time.

▶ You couldn't force anything out of your mouth and she was staring at you for awhile before locking the door and stripping each piece of clothing on her one by one.

▶ once she was on top of you she was completely bare and her smirk was growing wider.

▶ " Finally a Good Reason To Fuck You ~"

Toby :

♗ well let's just say you have a high sexual drive .

♗ Of course You and him had sex more than one time and you'd be lying if you said you didn't savor every inch of this boy.

♗ You love how you can Have him acting like a shy kitten at first but He could immediately dominate your ass the minute he'd snap and growl.

♗ But Your high sexual drive is something you'd keep to yourself for one reason. You didn't want to have him thinking negatively about you and it might scare him.

♗ so When you're feeling yo for it your usually licked in your room watching Porn while fingering yourself endlessly.

♗ That's exactly what you're doing Now. Your fingers inside your pussy feeling the warmth of your walls while moaning his name out loud.

♗ You didn't even hold back your moans anymore and you knew he'd be back after a few hours.

♗ You Never expected to see him walk out of your closest his fingers wrapped around his shaft jerking himself off whole watching your figure freeze in place.

♗ " I-I was t-thinking of s-urprising you but it looks like I-I was t-he one w-who g-got s-s-urprised...B-Babe W-watching you t-ouch y-ourself b-ecause of me turns m-me on but I'd rather have you r-ride my dick until you start s-screaming"

♗ He picked you up from your position on your chair and he sat there himself with you straddling him your folds coming in contact with His hardened Tip smeared with Precum mixed with your slick.

♗ You're definitely Getting a Lot of Fucks starting now.

Masky :

✵ Your Boyfriend was a natural born asshole and the two of you often make bets. But this time you Lost Big time.

✵ You were unfortunate enough to get a dare from Masky that can have your toes curling.

✵ 5 Hours of Having a Vibrator inside you was bad... Having two vibrators on both your holes was terrible.

✵ You Could barely make a straight face and Masky was holding the switch.

✵ He would purposely turn it to maximum if you were talking to someone and you couldn't even make one single sentence without groaning, stuttering or whimpering.

✵ You couldn't walk straight or even Think straight.

✵ When you two are seated tiger he'd turn it to Maximum and Have his dirty hands squeezing your thighs with that dumb arrogant smirk on his face.

✵ He kept it on Maximum for the past hour and you couldn't count how many times you came and how sensitive you are you could feel how wet you are through your thick pants and you had to run back to your room.

✵ You pulled out both of the Vibrators but somehow you wanted more. Your hand trailing down and two of your fingers rubbing your clit before inserting two digits inside you which slid inside easily because of how wet you were .

✵ You couldn't stop and you needed That Asshole of yours... Also known as Masky.

✵ Speaking of the Devil he strode inside your room like he owned the place and from the looks of it he had been watching you from the start.

✵ " F-uck you Masky "

✵ He chuckled taking off his mask as well as his jacket " I think the correct term for that is Fuck Me Masky "

✵ He grabbed you by your throat before devouring your lips with his ripping off your top and placing both of your legs on each side of his shoulders.

✵ " I bet I can make you cum twice in a row Baby now Be good and stop cursing at me because that will undoubtedly piss me off and urge me to ram my cock so deep inside you, you'll see stars and your legs will start shaking"

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Extinction (Sebastian Stan x You)

Character: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: The world was suffering from a zombie apocalypse. You fell off the train, everybody thought you were dead but turns out you survived from the fall and came back to try and heal your angered, broken heart but with vengeance.

Warning: This probably sucks? Other than that, none. XD

Words: 2,940

A/N: Inspired by the movie Resident Evil. (Love that movie so bad!) But the whole story isn't based on it. I made my own plot. I just took some characters from the game. 😊 I didn't even know how I ended up typing this? Feedbacks are very much appreciated! Aaaaaaaaaah! I’ve made a zombie apocalypse one for Chris Evans as well. Entitled ‘Barely Alive’ and it currently has two parts. Link is right under this author’s note. 

BARELY ALIVE (CHRIS EVANS X YOU) (1ST PART)

Disclaimer: GIF and pictures used are not mine, only the edits are and the whole book of course.  

Everybody was huffing once they've stepped foot on the train, each one completely exhausted from the zombie-human chase that has happened with your group of people who was safe from the infection. The faces of the other group who had been in the train looked relieved that there was still survivors, people who were the same as them, and deep down in your hearts all of you know there were more. Faith was all you were holding on to, the faith to live and stay alive.

There's nothing wrong in having faith, it makes each person stronger. You know everybody who was stepping on the same train as you were strong individuals, people who are striving to stay alive with the world crumbling apart because of the apocalypse.

"This is our train," A shaggy, greasy, long haired man spat, those dark hues filled with fear, overthinking that your group plans on taking the train away from them. You stepped back apprehensively, avoiding the man's rude attitude as Chris (Evans) decided to handle the whole situation since you weren't good at talking to ill-mannered people.

"We won't take your train, we just needed a lift to Arcadia,"  He calmly spoke to the man, hoping he would cooperate and understand the situation at hand. The man still looked agitated by your entrance, his spot was suddenly taken when the leader of their group named Jill stepped in front of him, standing tall and intimidating. Her face slightly tainted by the mixture of dirt, sweat and blood, eyes holding no emotions. "We're headed there, you guys got lucky this time," She slightly smiled, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. You were quick to read the sadness behind those eyes of hers, it was the hint of grief that some of their people have been taken by the infected.

Your eyes scanned your small group of people, Robert's there..Jeremy, Anthony, Paul, Elizabeth, Aaron, Scarlett, basically the whole Marvel cast with their families and the DC cast included. You were the only person whose family was taken away from the Umbrella Corporation. A stranger in a group of famous people, and the only normal human who had survived. You didn't know why your family were the only one who was taken when the others were given as a bait for the dead and only were the only one who had survived from their harsh abduction.

Those dazzling blue eyes you've grown to love landed on yours, a look that says he was relieved you were still standing before him, alive and kicking with no wounds nor scratches. You were all lucky enough to have outrun them this time. Sebastian was quick to engulf you in his arms, hugging you off your feet as you knotted your arms around his neck, hiding your face in between his shoulder, feeling tears forming in your eyes. You were scared for your life and what future does it hold for you both and for everyone. "Shhh," Your lover sweetly hushed, giving your back gentle caresses. You heard him sniff and instantly you knew he was feeling the same way as you.

"We'll survive this apocalypse, we just gotta stick together, Y/N." Everybody was now hugging their loved ones. frightened for what was about to come. Sebastian unwrapped his arms around you, taking your face in his pretty, large hands. It felt soft and slight calloused all together, his eyes looked down on you lovingly, pupils blown in affection, "I love you, we'll stick together until the end..and I'll love you till my last breath, please don't think about giving up,"

Everybody was hugging each other, except from one person who despised you the most when you came into Sebastian's life..Her name was Valentine/Meredith. She was Sebastian's ex-girlfriend, he loves you more than anything in the world, he did everything he didn't do for her, he became the best lover that Y/N dreamed of. A dream that was once wished by Valentine/Meredith. The expected jealousy was bubbled up inside of her, resulting it to turn bigger, rotting  till she couldn't handle anymore.

She did rot. Even though she wasn't a Zombie, the jealousy inside of her began to rot till she did the most malintent thing she ever done in her life.

"N-No! S-Stop!" You groaned and choked around the hand that was tightly wrapped around your neck. Your hands wrapped on the edges of the opened train door, grasping for dear life. You could hear the high-pitched whistle of the air, tempting to try and suck you out of the train.

Your face was beginning to turn paler as each second passes by, lungs starting to desperately heave for some air. Yet, the stranger who had your neck around his large hand appeared to plan on choking till you could see the other side of the world. Death.

"It was you! You and your psychopathic family started this apocalypse!" He shouted, brown eyes glowing with ire.

"T-Those are lies!!!" Your voice croaked, desperately trying to unlatch the stranger's hand--lets name him Will since you've heard Jill talk to the bulky, bald man a while ago-- He didn't stop though, he was triggered to tighten his hold. Sucking the air out of your lungs, "I-I have nothing to do with my father's scientific profession! I know nothing!!"

"LIES! Valentine/Meredith told me every secret you held! Your family was taken by the Umbrella Corporation! You're fucking connected to those son of a bitches!" He spat aloud. You desperately scanned your surroundings. Nobody was around, it was just you, him and an empty train.

Y/N just had to take a piss when suddenly she was pulled by the huge guy who gripped her by the hair so hard, locking them up in the other side of a train where people weren't around. Sebastian was in a group meeting with the others, talking about some plans when your bladder decided to burst in the wrong time.

You couldn't help stop nature.

"You're the fucking antidote that they needed! Your blood is the medicine and answer to this nightmare!" His fingers began to tighten more, leaving no air to enter your throat, making your face turn paler and bluer as each damned second passed by. Your vision was beginning to turn hazy and everything was spinning around.

"The Umbrella corporation will come back and get you! We can't afford another death in our group and even with yours! You're the one who deserves to die! You deserve to get found and get experimented!"

Half of your feet were dangling on the edge of the train. Your heart accelerating as fast as how the train was going. The heavy, harsh wind slapping your face, telling you that you were about to die any moment. Will was forcefully pushing you back, his eyes glowing with feral anger. Only one train of thought running in his mind. He needed the kill.

"S-Somebody! Help! Sebastian!" You desperately breathed, clawing at his hands harsher, but it seemed too feeble to unlatch as you were slowly getting vincible, your strength slowly faltering.

Your bulging eyes hastily searched for any person who could help you. Will was a pretty large person and you..you were small, frail and stiff. Fighting him off would just be a waste of energy because you know you were no match with him.

However, that tiny faith in you screamed to fight him. Use those techniques you see in the movies. There was no harm in trying, and so you did.

Will was a big guy, but he's surely an idiot for bringing you close and breathing in your face because the world just turned upside down and  you've immediately gotten the upper hand when you reached up and roughly pressed his eyes, emitting a guttural scream from the large man. He released your throat, clutching onto his stingy eyes as he moved aside and you've gotten the chance to run, sprinting on the way to the door in haste.

All the pieces of your heart fell apart when a very unbelievable scene unfolded behind the clear train door. An imaginary hand crawling up to your chest, giving it a tight squeeze, making the ache unbearable to handle.

Why? Because Sebastian was fucking kissing Valentine/Meredith.

The pain in your throat came back, but it wasn't because you were being choked again. You could feel your heart sting so bad as Sebastian stood in front of her, his back on you and Valentine's/Meredith's face that you wanted to stab a million times. She was a bitch indeed.

You tightened your palms in either side of you, forgetting the fact that you were in the middle of getting choked to death and thrown outside the train. Your heart was palpitating with different kinds of reason. Anger, pain, jealousy and fear.

Your hand was about to grab the lock, yet you were left banging a hand on the clear door once you felt Will's hand painfully pulling at your roots, yelling a scream that caught everyone's attention at the other side of the door.

Sebastian was utterly frozen in spot when the woman who he held no feelings stood on her tiptoes and pressed a disgusting kiss on his lips, having no shame that everybody was around but were busy talking except from one of his friend named Mackie who clearly bulged his eyes out when she maliciously kissed him in front of them.

She was a damn, hard headed vixen who didn't care about her dignity and had no shame.

Unfortunately, you didn't see Sebastian push her off, reacting with such hostility that made her regret what she did. "What the fuck, Valentine/Meredith?! What the hell's wrong with you?!"

Then he heard a heart stopping scream.

A scream that came from you.

He was fast to turn around, scared of what happened to the love of his life. Yet, he was too late.

Y/N had already fell off the train.

It was that exact moment he knew that his heart would never forgive himself because you were gone.

Just like that, and he won't ever forget to cry every night, mourning for his dying heart.

                                        ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

6 months after:

"You sure there's still survivors in here?" Claire Redfield asked in a hushed whisper, an American special police officer who was the leader of your group. The sweet-smelling, woody scent of pine trees breezed around all four of you as you stood below a huge, beige Meditteranean house that looked untouched and placid. The house looking clear from the infected.

The four of you decided to check the house, Leon claiming that he saw somebody run from behind the back garden. You didn't know what got into you, but you automatically stood up from your seat of the bus and volunteered to come. Claire didn't hesitate for you to join with them since she knew how trained you are. She knew how tough you got from all the training and sparring you did with her. You weren't the softy that everyone knew before, you were trained to fight and be strong for the better of your future, putting aside those tears and feelings on the ground.

You've changed, you're trying to change and it was for the better. You hoped in the back of your mind.

There were still a lot of survivors inside the bus, currently waiting for what was about to come and anticipating who or what was inside the mansion. All of you stood still as you nervously stand on the porch. Leon was picking on the lock of the door knob, a tiny, faded click signalling everyone that he finally had it open.

"Positive, Claire." You whispered, keeping the gun back in your holster, hiding behind Leon. He wrenched the door knob opened, Eerie silence welcomed you, alerting everyone's senses. You took light steps while parading in, your boots sounding so quiet and theirs as well.

"How sure are you, Y/N?"

You kept your mouth shut, you didn't know how you were sure. It was what your heart could feel, and in the vague point of your mind, a tiny voice was yelling that there was someone in there and despite of your fragmented heart, you hoped it was someone you knew. Someone you loved, and a certain person who broke your heart. Leaving nothing but anger inside your shattered soul.

You fixed your crouching postures once your team stopped inside a circle of a marbled, black floor. The ceiling was too high to reach, a very lavish chandelier dangling on top of your heads. Your hearts skipped a beat when you heard faded foot steps echoing around.

"I am strangling you alive when we're compromised, Y/N!" Leon whisper-yelled. Leaving Claire's question unanswered. You felt a ball stuck in your throat as your eyes skimmed around the mansion, your heart skipping a beat from nervousness, anticipating for what or who was living inside the place.

Everybody heard an ear-wrecking creak, your eyes roamed from left to right, the sound continuously perceptible. "Something's going to fall," Leon uttered, senses on full alert. The creaking sound stopping just as all your breaths did and with a quick clang, everybody knew it was the chandelier falling.

Everybody ducked, rolled and maneuvered away from the circle, leaving you alone and distracted by the hushed whispers echoing inside a certain room from the second floor, seeing a silhouette disappearing in the shadows. Your hands were trembling, breath stopping and eyes focused on the falling chandelier above you. Is that how it all ends for you? To get killed by a huge chandelier falling on your head?

"Y/N!" Your team screamed for your name, your feet were rooted on the ground, trying to accept the fate of your death. Your foot trembled once you took a step back, was it all too late?

Then, you felt a body harshly pushing you away. Your body landing on the floor with a loud and painful thud, your head hitting the floor, the world spun around you like a whirlpool. Darkness hugging you for a moment or so until you realized a warm body was hovering above you, coughing out the dust that was flying all around.

With a blink of an eye, you were met with the prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen, the eyes of the man you had ever loved with all your heart, and the only man who have crushed your heart into pieces from the moment your life changed when you fell on that train all the way to Arcadia.

"Y/N??"

His Steele blue eyes turned duller, losing it's glimmer. Earning dark eye bags underneath his feature that you loved the most. The color of his face lost a ton, making him look less happy with his life.

The man above you was like a different man and you were in shock. Completely flabbergasted with your mouth ajar, you've longed for him, for his touch and the warmth radiating off him whenever you both were together.

Yet, everything felt different with the pain inside of your soul. You hardly closed your mouth, spitting out a name that seemed difficult to verbally say for you as he was finally up close and personal for the first time after the accident happened.

You were choking in your own words, mouth keeping a straight line, blinking in the tight feeling forming inside your chest. It was too painful to look at him because all you could recall was the memories with him, coming at you one by one.

"Sebastian?"

It's that exact moment you knew you were dying inside. As much as how he did when he thought he would never get to see you again.

STEVE? LMAO 😥😘 FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! LIKE AND REBLOG OR COMMENT IF YA WANT MOREEEEE, TATER TOTS! WHO MISSED ME?!

[tova-onova]

the school system in Bulgaria is broken. i felt underdeveloped in my school. i wanted to be in what i later discovered is a japanese type of school - where i did sports, arts, and a lot of studying simultaneously. i didn't receive any structured education and any direction for further development from the local education system. in fact the opposite - i was moved from school to school, breaking bonds with teachers and classmates, and falling into communion with delinquent people that were in the classroom with no reason other than breaking order. in bulgaria everything is corrupted and people are placed in every institution deliberately, based on records of services that track information. so you can't end up in any dream place. you are always mushed together with people who are not near your level and they make competition between students and general advancement for the class impossible. i received my best education experiences at The British Council, while studying English when I decided to apply for University at the U.K. Another aspect of education that was beneficial for me was a form of apprenticeship in craft - photography - that my stepfather provided me with, because he was working in that industry. he gave me a way forward and a career i want to develop further into - a photographer. i was very angry and insulted by the education system. because i was set back by everybody who didn't want to study but came from families that believe you have to work from an early age, and not study, because studies are irrelevant. this is the ruling class in bulgaria - people with no education who are acting brutally and vulgarly . and they operate through aggression and terror. so we don't have intelligence. this is just a cattle-upbringing, into a real education system. i was happy with my experience with the UK system because i advanced and developed many skills, apart from my language skills, very fast. i believe my CAE course gave me a structure to follow in my University studied to become better than my average classmates at making academic research and structuring my analysis. i wanted to study in Wales ad continue my development as a photographer professionally, but my family didn't support me financially and emotionally and i became frightened to take the loan, after being accepted in Newport. in my opinion the world is in this state exactly because of lack of structure. People with the most potential have to be selected and trained deliberately. I am gifted in the arts - especially singing. But i have a mindset of a professional in the classical scene. i need very long and personalized training. what music has been marketed as and turned into today by popular media, is outrageous. in my opinion there should be branches of education systems that look for talents and assess every student's capacities for further development. what i experienced was a lack of any mentorship and a sensation of being abandoned and thrown at the wolves to find my way amidst ruins in a desert. children need guidance. not to be ordered what to do and chose, but to know what options there are, and what consequences there are if they chose certain things or fail to chose certain things in the right moment. because bodies change, and so abilities decreace further with age. at least that is the general concept about it. now many people try to break those stereotypes proving that you can become a proffessional in a different area eve t an advanced age with continuous training and re-training. but ecoomies shoudl be structured in a supportive way for that. i cant afford to even pay my rent, let alone to cntinuemy studies. because i'm not in the right place - i made a mistake not following my passion fr photography to wales and i have been devastated nad lost in the last ten years. 'making ends meet' isn't what my standards look like. so i cant be happy with mediocrity. but becaus ethere is not free access to everything, people fight over resources, lie and cheat to get their children ahead and leave you in the dirt even though you are talented and the others are not. we don't exist in an educated reality in eastern europe. its like a madhouse jungle and i have been depressed because of this lack of structure and the sensation of lack of future because of it ever since i was i highschool. to be honest in today's world education is only for wealthy people. because to truly be educated you nee to invest a lot of time and you need to be financially supported throughout that entire time. i have been so i developed a lot of skills beyond my social circle. but i lacked financial education and strategic thinking and planning so i was scared to become an adult ad take a loan to go to university which i regret. i still hold undeveloped potential and this drives me unstable because i don't fit anywhere currently because i am no one i want to be. so i started engaging in activism instead of a career because it seems pointless to strive for money when i feel so isolated and alone. and the isolatio came exactly form breakignthe trust i had in my parents and school that they will discover my abilities and direct their efforts into helping me grow into sucessful humn beig. nobody wants that. the system wants to produce machine replicas who make repetitive tasks. and i cant. i need change and reinventig, since i didnt receive the career i wanted but it seemed so unbearaly expensive to me. i order for childre to get a feel of their capabilities they have to be engaged in a variety of ways - non stp changing - first beig listeners and followers, then eing the teacher and lader, etc. only a dynamic type fo education environment ca crete actual intelligece. nothin static can. you end up in abox if you chose the unilaterl approach to develping self. the self is very complex. so we need open schools and uiversities. which are very hard to manage and a lot of peopel are lazy to do that,this si why they havent still been implemented everywhere. in bulgaria, for example, oly droputs becoem teachers.there is no dignity in that poffession. and it feels shmeful to be a student in this environment. you fel lie second hand citize, eve though you aer supposed to just begin t lear bout the world ad feel fresh and enthusiastic. i honestly dont know by now if there is ny system that helps people into becoming more educated ot its ony a matter fo personal iteersts and desire to ler deeply. my expereice is ot consistent as i have been moved about and didnt receive contiuing support from my family, so i had to reinvent mysef and my choices so many times, i was so stressed at the end, i developed diabetes of the sesation of not being accepted, and not beign good enough, ot fitting in. not because i didnt have capacities, ut becaus ei ddint have uidance nad mentor.i m the kind of person who needs a very profound connection with teachers - based on trut and values. and my etachers were just doing a job. so i didnt connect with any of them. and i still feel empty of that expeeice in education. it was pointless from many sapects. ecause it gave me tons of information, but no sustace. and i dont want that. i was to be directed and given real value. not only used as a recycling bin for someone's handouts on stuff they had to read i uiversity to write a paper. i need personalized approach as a student - lecturer who thinks about their lesson and their audience personally. not mechanically. this demonstrates respect to the listener - and invites them to be a part of discussions and to continue the learning process further than the classroom. it really is an invitation (respect for your audience/students).