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#the first thing in my whole life that i Knew i wanted to do.
fallstaticexit · 3 days
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Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort
AN: TW this post contains a homophobic slur.
Transcript under the cut
Professor Munch: Everyone, this is Nancy. She’s one of my favorite students. I am so glad she can join us this evening to observe our weekly GSA meeting.
Nancy: And what is a GSA?
Morgan: It stands for Gay–Straight Alliance. It’s just a safe space for queer kids to hang out and talk about real world issues.
Knox: Yeah, we go out and do stuff off campus. It’s pretty tight.
Nancy: Queer? So...this is a club for homosexuals?
Darling: [sucks teeth]
Knox: [chuckles nervously] I mean, sure I guess? Me and Morgan are bisexual. That means we dig the fellas and the ladies, heh.
Professor Munch: What’s important is that this space is for everyone, from all walks of life. We support each other here, no matter who you love. We keep each other safe. That’s why I invited you to sit in on our session. I figured you could use a friend or two-
Nancy: Ugh! Oh my God? You think I’m- I’m not like that, ok!?
Nancy: I am not a homosexual! What the hell made you think I’d want to be apart of something like this?
Professor Munch: No, dear- I’m not implying you’re like anything! This club welcomes all people. I thought you could use the support. Why, your brother started the very first GSA at this school-
Nancy: Oh, don’t you fucking dare! My brother wasn’t some depraved pervert and I’m not a d****!
Darling: [jumps up, chair scrapes hardwood floor] What the fuck did you just say? You can’t come up in calling people that shit!
Nancy: I-I didn’t! All I’m saying is that I’m not like that! I’m not like you-
Darling: Not like who? Not like a d?****?
Darling: What the fuck is your problem? Munch, who is this bitch?
Professor Munch: Easy, Dee. Calm down-
Darling: Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! You let some straight white girl walk in here and say something we heard screamed at us our whole fucking life! Say it again! I dare you!
Professor Munch: That’s enough! Please! Let me handle this.
Nancy: [between sobs] M’sorry...m’so sorry...
Professor Munch: [sighs] Just, take some time to think about this, Nancy. Look inward.
Nancy Narrates: [Look inward] x3
Nancy: If it’s ok...I’d like to apologize.
Professor Munch: Everyone? Is it alright if Nancy speaks?
Morgan: I don’t mind.
Darling: [sighs] Whatever man.
Nancy: [exhales] When I first heard that word, I was 11 years old. My mother found letters I wrote to my pen pal. She mailed a photo of herself from her birthday party, she wore this really pretty yellow dress with little blue flowers on them.
Nancy: Yellow is my favorite color, so I said she was as pretty as a sunflower. My mother tore up the letter and made me rewrite it. She looked me right in the eyes and said, ‘do you want someone to read this and think you’re a-’
Nancy: She said it again when was 14, a girl from my ballet troupe was only brushing my hair. She pulled me from the class. She said it again two years ago, when she found out that I fell in love with-
Nancy: I know that word hurts because it’s been said to hurt me even though I’m not... It doesn’t matter if I’m not, I shouldn’t have said it. It was a horrible thing to do. I am so incredibly sorry.
Professor Munch: Thank you for sharing your story. This is what GSA is about. Coming together, creating a community, and creating safe spaces. Dee, is there anything you want to say to Nancy? Anything you’d like to speak on or about how you feel?
Darling: Nah...
Nancy Narrates: [I knew that an apology alone wouldn't suffice to mend the situation. When it came to friendships, I didn’t know how to genuinely make amends, but as a Landgraab, I knew that I could leverage my wealth and status to create a meaningful impact]
Morgan: You got us the biggest hall on campus?! Nancy, this is sick as fuck!
Professor Munch: [laughs] I’ll have to agree with Morgan for lack of a better word. This is sick as heck! I don’t know where to begin to thank you for this gift.
Nancy: It’s the least I could do. Now you can stop meeting in that tiny corner in the commons.
Darling: Charity work for your little sorority, huh? What’s with you, yo?
Nancy: What do you mean?
Darling: You’re so rich, you just buy your way through shit?
Nancy: It’s how I was raised.
Darling: I can’t figure you out.
Nancy: I promise, I’m not a bad person.
Darling: We’re not like everyone else on campus. We’ll show you something real. You gotta be real with us too.
Nancy Narrates: [I found myself wanting to do exactly that—to show them the real me, whoever she was]
Siobhan: I’m planning a party for the Thetas Friday night. Perfect opportunity for you to bond with your sisters.
Nancy: I’m a little busy Friday night...maybe next time?
Siobhan: Being apart of a sorority is more than just the cute merch and bragging rights. We’re involved with the community and with this campus. As a pledge, I do expect you to commit to these things.
Nancy: I know and I will. I just need to take care of something.
Siobhan: [sighs] Don’t let me down, sister.
[the group murmurs excitedly]
Professor Munch: You did all this, Nancy?
Nancy: I hope it’s ok I’m here. I figured you could break in your new room with a movie night. Everything is already taken care of, and I bought a ton of movies ranging from comedy to horror and everything in between. They’re all yours to keep! Same with the popcorn machine. I know I’m using money again to impress you but... I guess I’m still trying to figure out what it means to be real. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it all.
Morgan: Yeah, not so fast. Stick around, watch a movie with us!
Nancy: Are you sure?
Knox: Of course we’re sure, squirt.
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sorthgos · 3 days
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I don't think Brooklyn is the villain, I have a theory
Trailer spoilers
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Brooklyn has always been very curious, and there's no way she's stayed still all these years without getting into trouble. When Brooklyn and Kenji break up, she started all of this because she knew that what she was going to do could cost her life, the life of her boyfriend and her friends. That's exactly why she visited her friends before being "k1lled". Don't all these visits sound like a goodbye?
After the visits, she went after Mr. Kon (for those who remember correctly, Kenji's father), to get the money and continue investigating something that, as she said in the trailer, is much bigger than she ever imagined. That's why Mr. Kon said she revealed she was willing to get her hands dirty and that's why she "said goodbye" to her love life and friendships. She wants to go after the evil mind(s) that are behind the smuggling, mistreatment and trafficking of dinosaurs.
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When she burns the photo with the 6 of Nublar, that is, her best friends, it is not because she is the villain, nor because she wants to erase evidence (almost everyone knows who the 6 (six) of Nublar are, so it would not even make sense), she burns it as a symbol that she is willing to erase/"burn" the past or her friendships to continue her investigation. She is no longer the same Brooklyn we know because she put herself on another level, it is not possible to be the same after what she went through investigating this whole event, abandoning everyone she loves and losing a piece of her body.
And finally, she tried at the last minute to contact Darius because he always had the best decisions and strategies, but since she was attacked, the idea to "play dead" would obviously sound better and keep things more safe.
I don't think she did all this so her friends would find her out later. The fact that her friends found out about her is because it is almost inevitable, you leave traces. It's hard not to find evidence when they're desperate to find something and when they're also in the same danger of death as her, apparently from the same organization.
What are your opinions? I welcome corrections and additions to the theory (my first one lol)!
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cannibalspicnic · 21 hours
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I've been wanting to organize my thoughts and theories about the trial, so I'm gonna try writing through them here. Honestly, one of my favorite things about this show so far is the endless potential for speculation so, here it goes....
I think the trial itself was mostly Santiago's idea, and it was the perfect power grab for him.
Lestat's presence at the trial, however, I think is pretty much entirely Armand's doing and the main reason Armand involved himself as deeply as he did.
Santiago didn't know Lestat, didn't seem to particularly appreciate Lestat's presence at the trial, and moreover, didn't need Lestat at the trial. As Claudia pointed out, it was never really a trial. It was a stoning. Execution was the foregone conclusion, and the trial was just a piece of theater. All he really needed were Claudia's diaries and maybe Sam's more poetic extrapolations. The "jury" had no idea what was happening anyway and were just doing call and response.
But Armand's got this whole love/hate obsession with Lestat, and I think the hate and resentment part of that obsession gives cause for Armand to want Lestat to be forced to witness in person the execution of his family. As far as the love part of the obsession, I think Armand hopes that once Lestat is left alone, he'll have no choice but to stay with Armand. Possibly there's a part of Armand that genuinely wants Lestat to see him as his avenger.
I do not believe Lestat was there willingly. I think, like in the books, he was imprisoned and starved to keep him weak, but he wasn't as completely incapacitated as he was in the books. Lestat agreed to read the lines and rehearse etc. because if he hadn't, they wouldn't have let him participate in the trial at all, and the trial was Lestat's only chance to even SEE Louis and Claudia, much less try to save either of them.
And once the trial starts, Lestat repeatedly tries to undermine it, but he's still walking a fine line because if he fucks with the coven too much, he might be removed and lose any chance he has to affect the outcome. I think we also might find out that he tried and failed a few other ways to save Louis AND Claudia.
Which brings me to the question of Lestat and Claudia. I do not believe Lestat ever wanted Claudia dead, though it's understandable to believe differently from what we've seen in the show so far. I do think we're going to find out that Lestat made one last ditch effort to save Claudia after Louis was dragged offstage, even if it was only to plead with Armand for her life. Armand's being the only version of that moment feels too juicy to not come back to it. That being said, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that Lestat prioritized saving Louis first, and that's one of the things that continues to haunt him after the trial about Claudia's death. Especially after all she says about it never being about her.
What I find really interesting is that when Louis is recounting the trial, he repeatedly insists that Lestat was there for revenge and that he believes Lestat helped orchestrate it. But in the flashbacks from Louis' memories, we also see Lestat is not having a good time and is somehow weakened, that something is not quite right with him.
It's one of my favorite examples of Louis reaching for the truth he knows is inside of him, inside his memories. That's why the revelation that Armand had directed the play and Lestat had saved him made such a huge impact. Those were the missing pieces of the puzzle, and they are what led him to recontextualize everything he already knew. Namely, if Lestat had saved him, he was never there for revenge. And his genuine contrition about the drop, his attempt to take some of the responsibility for Claudia's making, his unsteady and unhappy demeanor...they make sense because Louis realizes that Lestat was a prisoner during the trial, not Armand. I don't think Louis would have ever gone to find Lestat if he truly still believed that he organized Claudia's death or even agreed to it.
So back to Armand. I do actually think that Armand loved Louis. I've said before, when it comes to Armand, it's best to let go of reason and embrace the gremlin to understand his actions. I do think some of Armand's initial interest in Louis is specifically because he is Lestat's fledgling, but he did come to love Louis himself. And I think Louis came to love him. I know this is not a popular opinion, but hear me out.
First of all, I think Armand never let go of the idea that he was going to have to kill Louis. I think he always kinda saw his time with Louis as delaying the inevitable. But he did want Louis for himself, and so he kept buying more and more time. So when the coven confronted Armand, it didn't even feel to him like he was betraying Louis, so much as he'd run out of time to keep Louis alive. I think in Armand's mind, he genuinely didn't feel like he could prevent it.
As far as how Louis feels about Armand. I know I've seen people mention that the reason he can tell Armand, "I love you," is that he doesn't mean it. And I agree. I do not think Louis loves Armand during the events of "I Want You More Than Anything in the World." But season 2 takes place over several years, and I think Louis was able to find love for Armand.
However, because I love it when things are really fucked up, I think Louis only really started to let himself feel love for Armand after Armand left the coven for him after Louis turned Madeleine. Which is unfortunate because Armand was obviously lying his ass off about that.
But when we see them at the café, and Madeleine says she can feel Louis' love for Armand, we see a different reaction from Louis than in 2x04. He is more uncomfortable with the idea of it. I don't believe that Madeleine was misreading Louis or actually feeling his love for Lestat. I think Louis is uncomfortable because it is true.
I also think it's the first time Armand actually believes that Louis loves him. And because of that, I think that moment just before the coven descends on the café is the first time he even realizes that he had a choice in all of it. That he could have tried to save Louis.
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If I'm right, UGH, so fucked up. I hope I'm right.
Anyway, I've rambled so fucking much. I don't even have a tl;dr because even *I* don't wanna have to read all that to summarize it properly. And I probably forgot some stuff, but let's all just be grateful for that.
Just to reiterate, this is all speculation. I could be very wrong, and I know there's stuff the cast has said that might indicate that I am, but I take stuff like that with a grain of salt, especially in this show.
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notes-of-nari · 3 days
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Stray Kids as the Friendly Ghost
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I.N •You were intrigued for many years about the mysterious boy who lives in your twin house. You have seen him randomly either in your shared garden or at the doorstep of his side of the house. Even though you had always wanted to strike up a conversation with him you always decided to do it later because you were afraid that you might embarrass yourself by going there and stuttering (cause you knew pretty well that you were most probably having a crush on him)
•Speaking about crush, it all comes crashing down when you tell a friend of yours about him and she goes on to reveal that the other side of your twin house is actually empty?? You don't believe it until a little call to the person who sold you the side of your house reveals that the other side is indeed empty.
•however when you walk back home you find him sitting on the swing in your shared garden his eyes closed as he silently seems to sing along to a song that plays from his headphones.
•You trip on a stone and nearly fall. He opens an eye and looks at you and notices you look at him. His eyes widen in surprise as his palm flies towards his mouth. he then runs towards his side of the house.
•Your mind is completely in turmoil as you wonder who this mysterious person is. After a sleepless night, you decide to find out the truth for yourself. So you march up to his side of the house and loudly knock on the door. You earn a few suspicious glances from your neighbours but no one answers the door. •You wonder if studying too much has made you go crazy and see things. But this guy was your crush! Is his presence also like your non existent love life?
•However your efforts are fruitful. One day as you stand at his doorstep ready to knock on his door,he opens the door right at that moment. "oh hii" you greet him and his eyes widen again before he shuts the door right in your face. "rude.." you mutter before he opens the door again and looks at you in disbelief. "you can see me?" he asks. "yeah" you shrug. "no wayyy...no.." •you notice a few tears falling down his eyes as he suddenly hugs you. He seems to be shaking as he sobs. You are frozen unable to understand what's happening but you pat his back hoping he would calm down. • "No freaking wayyyy" It is now your time to express your disbelief as he reveals that he is a ghost? He introduces himself as Jeongin. • You are soon able to accept that he is indeed a ghost. (rip your non existent love life/and crush) • Even though you both were awkward at first after some time you both become good friends. However a few days later you wake up to find seven ghosts glaring at you. "If you hurt him we will kill you" One of them threatens while holding a knife at your direction. "No minho is just joking. we won't kill you but please take care of Jeongin yeah?.." the ghost with an Australian accent says before he pulls his friend away and the seven of them disappear.
•"Jeongin the ghost" as you now fondly call him ,drags you on his random late night walks as he explores various parts of your little town. •Judges your fashion taste like Anton ego judges food. What kind of garbage are you wearing in this household? This is uhh a hoodie.. skirt and trousers.". Shakes his head in disappointment while mumbling something that sounds like "looks like a Disney series came to life"
•you wake up one day with a whole fashion critic report on your bedside table. you only have three black hoodies,two jeans,one skirt,and 2 black tee shirts? Let's go shopping bitch.
•Every messy person like you who has a gold fish memory deserves a friend like him. "Did you see my note book?" "You left it on the chair" "Did I visit the doctor last month" "yes you did..you even brought a guide to crocheting on the way back here" " oh shit I forgot that I brought such a book" "jeongin did you take my chocolate chip tart?" "You ate it last Sunday remember?" •Helps you pack your clothes for your three day college trip.But he literally overpacks amidst your protests. "come on jeongin it's just a three day educational trip. I don't need 5 t shirts" He is not pleased about the fact that you removed all the extra clothes he had packed for you. So later that night when you are asleep he adds all those clothes back into your suitcase. Fast forward- 1st day of the trip night, you open your suitcase to find a whole ton of clothes. "YANG JEONGIN!!!!!" ------The ghost who is chilling back at home suddenly sneezes. "I guess she is thanking me for adding the extra clothes" He smiles and shrugs. •If you need someone's true and honest opinion on anything he is the number one choice. No sugar coating just the honest hard truth. •When you ask him if he can help you with your college assignments, "do i look like someone who survived past the 1st year of college?" he deadpans before disappearing. • He gifts you with a pair of shoes and a cake on your birthday. You are so happy and grateful so you try to hug him. But he runs away out of your reach. "come on dude let me hug you once.." "no" he runs around the house ( he doesn't disappear like usual though?) "you hugged me first" you remind him of the day he hugged you after he realized that you could see him. "that was a one time thing" he shouts as he leaps away from your reach. BangChan / Lee Know/Changbin/Hyunjin/Han/Felix/Seungmin
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title: the hawthorne with the green eyes part 2
pairing: jameson hawthorne x (first person) reader
synopsis: a night full of fun and games with jameson hawthorne isn’t what you’d intended after going for a little midnight wander but you didn’t regret it
parts: part 1
warnings: none :)
a/n: thanks for the req 🤍🤍 hope you enjoy
tag list: @bewitchingkisses @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31 @loveinalocket
Strip bowling was exactly what the name said. A game of bowling where you remove an item of clothing if you failed to knock down any pins. It wasn’t difficult to get the hang of, it was difficult for me however to hang on to my clothes. I’d only bowled a few times in my life and on the occasions I had, I was pathetic at the game, but it was for fun then. Now it felt like it was for my dignity.
“Earrings one hundred percent count!” I exclaimed, shoeless, sockless and jumperless. I didn’t know I could be so bad at rolling a semi-weighted ball down an alley.
“No they don’t!” Jameson quipped, wagging his finger at me.
“I’m wearing earrings, like I’m wearing clothes, they count,” I replied stubbornly, unprepared to lose my top or trousers.
“No they don’t,” he shook his head sharply with a dangerous grin on his face.
“You just want me to take my top off,” I snapped, attempting to throw him off.
Colour touched his cheeks, “I want no such thing!”
“Liar,” I smiled mischievously.
“Maybe I am,” he shrugged, our roles reversing. Colour in my cheeks and a smile on his lips. My heart raced as I processed what he said. “But don’t lie,” he continued, “you’ve been trying to throw my game off the whole time so I take mine off.”
“I did no such thing!” I mirrored him, with a face of synthetic shock.
“Liar,” he smirked, his voice so dark I wanted to melt.
I laughed lightly.
“Do that again,” he murmured, gazing into my eyes.
“What?” I blurted out, confusion written all over my face.
“That thing, where you laugh and smile and your eyes light up,” he explained smoothly.
I felt a rising warmth in my face and it wasn’t a fever spiking, “why?”
“Because I like it,” he said, his voice so light, so airy there was almost no sound at all.
I took a step towards him and tilted my head up, our eyes glued together and I was unable to pull away. I could sense his hand nearing my waist and I didn’t tell him to stop. It was only then that I realised how badly I wanted this.
“Jameson I-“
“Hey guys!” Xander’s cheery voice is quick to snap me out of my lovelorn trance, “ooo it’s the new girl.”
“It is,” I coughed, wiping my hand awkwardly on my trousers as I stepped away from Jameson, “nice to see you again,”
“Are you playing strip bowling?” he continued, analysing his surroundings, before turning to Jameson with a rueful expression on his face, “without me? Again! Why am I even here anymore?”
“Sorry Xander,” he shrugged, composed as of two moments before nothing had happened at all between us, “I’ll catch you next time.”
“That’s what you said last time and now look,” he protested, “I mean would it kill you to ask me to play?”
“I said sorry,” Jameson defended arms in the air, as if he’s being arrested.
“It’s like that one scene in Frozen,” Xander sighed, “when baby Elsa shuts baby Anna out, you know the whole ‘do you wanna build a snowman’ sequence.”’
“Jameson how could you!” I gasped.
“Right!” Xander said, looking at me, “I knew I liked you.”
“I’m quite likeable I suppose,” I grinned.
“Tomorrow, three am strip bowling,” Jameson said to Xander, “my treat?”
“Throw in snacks and drink and you’re on,” he grinned, nodding.
“Done,” Jameson nodded, “hey Xand, on the topic of strip bowling, I do have a question for you.”
“Shoot,” he said, with
“Do earrings count in strip bowling?” he asked, shooting a sly smile my way.
I scrunched my nose up at him which only widened his pathetic smile.
“Yes,” Xander responded. My eyes widened and my face lit up. I was unable to form any competent words.
“Ha!” I exclaimed, pointing at Jameson.
“What?” Jameson protested loudly, his face flattened, his smile no more, “since when?”
“Don’t you remember when you pierced your left ear when you were thirteen because you thought it would make you look edgy?” Xander replied, “you wore an earring for 6 months and always insisted it counted in strip bowling!”
“You did what?” I gaped, trying so hard to suppress my giggles.
“Oh shut up,” he snapped at me and rolled his eyes, “thanks Xand.”
“You’re welcome,” he smiled.
“Embarrassing me through childhood stories is Nash’s thing though,” he replied.
“He let me trade for an hour,” Xander shrugged.
“So what’s he doing,” I asked.
“Creating a machine with odd qualities whilst simultaneously consuming several blueberry scones,” he said, “…obviously.”
“I should’ve seen that one coming,” Jameson sighed.
“You should’ve, do you even know your own brothers?” he replied in mock offence.
“Sometimes I don’t know,” he shrugged, “honestly you surprise when even when I think you can’t anymore.”
“Well I’ll see you two lobsters later, my eyebrows growing back to much, I need to singe it off again with something explosive!”
He rushed off before I could even respond. This house was mental, but in the best way possible.
I turned to Jameson confused, “Lobsters?”
“That’s what you’re asking about?” he almost laughed.
“Why lobsters?”
“I don’t know,” he replied, hands crammed into his pockets, green eyes making me hallucinate being in his arms even more.
I waited. I waited for him to pick up where we left off, for his hand to actually grip my waist, for our lips to tingle with each others taste but there was nothing. He did nothing. The silence is the loudest force in the room and it made my heartache.
“You used to wear an earring,” I grinned, changing to subject to heal my sinking heart.
“Let’s revisit the lobster debate,” he replied, turning rosy. It was cute.
“Oh no no no, you are not getting out of this one,” I said with a giggle.
“Where there’s a will there’s a way,” he countered, with a nonchalant shrug.
“So what kind of earring was it, diamond?” I continued, with a smile I knew would probably be annoying him.
“I’m not answering you,” he replied bluntly.
“That’s okay, I’ll just ask Xander, or Nash when they’ve switched back,” I mused.
“They won’t give up that kind of information to a practical stranger,” he scoffed.
“Don’t be so sure, I thought they surprised you every day,” I countered, quoting him.
“You’re annoying,” he scrunched up his nose.
“One of my many many talents,” I shrugged softly.
“Don’t get too cocky,” he warned, with the kind of Hawthorne smirk that was to die for.
I raised my eyebrows, “says the king of cockiness.”
“You’ve known me less than a day,” he deadpanned.
“My inference skills are also incredible,” I winked.
He laughed a little, “what should we do now then?”
“I don’t know, find something else to do?” I said.
“You don’t want to carry on with strip bowling?” he replied
“There won’t be much to strip in a minute,” I scoffed, gesturing to my limited clothing.
“That’s part of the game,” he replied, shooting me a lopsided grin.
“You’ve known me for less than a day,” I mocked.
Jameson glared at me playfully, “don’t quote me.”
“But it’s fun,” I whined, pouting slightly.
“You’re annoying,” he replied, messing up my hair.
“Another one of my many perks!” I responded, ducking under his arm whilst slapping him away.
“How about a game of poker?” he asked, the subject changing so fast I nearly got whiplash.
I’d never been that good at poker. I’d been taught when I was younger, I knew the basic rules but I hadn’t played in years. I was rusty. I remembered the last time I’d played, in a bar at fourteen. I’d snagged myself one hundred dollars. I was praying for the miracle to reensue.
“Are you a betting man Hawthorne?” I raised a challenging eyebrow, one he couldn’t ignore. Avery mentioned that he couldn’t turn down a challenge.
“All Hawthornes are betting men,” he said coolly.
“That sounds risky,” I grinned.
“Not if you don’t mind taking the risk,” he cocked his head to the side.
“Where are your playing cards?” I asked.
He picked up his jacket and shook the sleeve gently, a packet of cards falling into his open hand. I suppressed my shock.
“They’re up your sleeve,” I said dryly, “how original.”
“I think you mean impressive,” he replied.
“If it helps you sleep at night, then sure impressive,” I responded.
“You wound me,” he faked a wince, holding onto his heart.
“Blood goes well with your eyes,” I shrugged.
“Better make a deeper wound then,” he murmured, our faces dangerously close.
“Okay,” I bit my bottom lip, “…I beat you at chess a few hours ago.”
“Too deep princess,” he replied.
“Princess?” I questioned, my eyebrows knotting together.
“What’s wrong with it?” he shrugged.
“It’s not my name,” I said bluntly.
“My apologies Princess y/n,” he grinned, taking a step back to bow before me.
I smacked the back of his head, “you’re not as funny as you think you are.”
“I think you’ve already used that line,” he countered, standing up, tentatively touching the back of his head.
“Thought I’d reinforce it,” I said.
“Remind me to teach you how to slap,” he replied, trying to get under my skin, “that was pathetic.”
“I know it hurt you,” I smiled, “don’t be stubborn.”
“Poker,” he sing-songed waving the cards at me as we sat on the floor.
I crossed my legs and watched as he shuffled the cards. He’d probably done it thousands of times, seen as the motions were so fluid, so captivating. Like an illusion. He cracked one of his signature grins my way and then he dealt.
“This isn’t hawthorne poker is it?” I asked, as he finished up.
“No it’s just regular poker,” he replied, “for now.”
His smirk made my insides tingle and my head go a little fuzzy. We picked up our card and he analysed his set sharply. He was on it, he was ready. Unlike when he was playing chess, he was tense. His focus was harder, his intensity was stronger. He was like a raging fire containing in a bottle coated in kerosine.
It was time to play.
***
There was a flash. My head whipped around to look at the window and I dropped all my cards. Thumped rumbled in the distance and I approached the window to see if it was raining. A second flash.
“Lightning,” Jameson mused from behind me, making me jump.
“There’s a storm coming,” I whispered.
“That’s ominous,” he chuckles, his breath is so hot on the back of my neck that it makes me shiver.
“Let’s hope it isn’t our author’s use of pathetic fallacy,” I turned my head so our faces are close.
“Our author?” he furrowed his brows.
“Whoever writes the stories we’re living,” I replied.
“So that’s how you think of things?” he asked, sounding somewhere between amused and curious.
“The things we do, the people we meet, the places we see, it’s all meant to be, someone wrote it for us,” I smiled, “it’s prettier to think that it was in the stars but even if it’s not, it’s all written somewhere.”
“That must be on hell of a book,” he grinned, then said, “you dropped your cards.”
I turned to face him, “I know.”
“You had a straight flush,” he replied. It was true. I had done better than I’d ever done at poker, apparently the miracle workers were on my side today.
“I know,” I nodded.
“And I couldn’t tell,” he said slowly.
“I know,” I repeat, eyebrows raised.
“You were going to beat me,” he stated, “…again.”
First at chess, now at poker, he was getting sensitive.
“I-“
“Don’t say I know again,” he said quickly.
“Okay,” I replied.
“No one has ever beaten me at poker before,” he said.
“I must be extra special then,” I joked.
“I think you’re more than that,” he smiled.
My lips parted, “what?l
“I think you’re beautiful,” he murmured, the green of his eyes too addicting to turn away from.
I was caught off guard. Was this some sort of fantasy? Beautiful. He had just called me beautiful. My heart raced all of a sudden and fireworks went off in my brain. I was too tongue tied in shock and joy to reply.
“Thank you?” I managed to say after a few beats.
No. No. No. No. I cursed myself. I didn’t mean to say that, like that. That wasn’t how it was meant to sound. If there had been a table near by I would’ve whacked my head on it a good few times.
“Tell me you feel it to,” Jameson pleaded, his void a low hum, “whatever the hell this is between us.”
“Oh I can feel it,” I replied, my voice quiet, seductive.
“That makes this difficult,” he exhaled slowly.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t trust myself with you,” he admitted, looking into my eyes, his expression so pained it made me ache.
“Then trust me,” I insisted, taking his hands into mine.
“You’re driving me crazy,” he chuckled lightly, “in the best possible way. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Funny you seem to be doing the same with me,” I giggled.
His face suddenly grew solemn, a look I hadn’t seen a lot of his face, “you don’t want this with me, I promise you I’m dangerous.”
“I like dangerous,” I shrugged.
“Target on my back, run into fire for fun, love too hard kind of dangerous,” he clarified, studying my face for any sign of me changing my mind.
“I’ll reevaluate that statement then,” I said, pausing.
He waited, so still, so quiet that I questioned whether he was breathing.
“I love dangerous,” I whispered, my eyes lighting up.
He only smiled at me then leaned down, cupping my face in his palms. His scent washed over me, delicate and alluring. His lips neared mine and I closed my eyes. The first kiss was gentle and sweet, it was the soft kind of kiss that every girl dreams her first kiss would be. But after that first few sweetened kisses, I got hungrier, I wanted not just to taste him but to indulge in him.
I kissed him harder with a new added passion and he realised I wasn’t messing around, that I wasn’t afraid. He delivered back, not worried to be rougher with his kisses. We moved with the emotion and the intensity of the moment. A fiery feeling ignited my heart. Love. My back hit the wall and his hands found their way to my waist. Pinned by a frenzy of kisses, I suddenly remembered I needed to breathe. It seemed Jameson did to. We pulled away, chests both heaving, hearts both racing.
“Lobsters,” I murmured breathlessly.
“What?” he asked, the most adorable confusion plastered across his soft features.
“Lobsters,” I smiled like an idiot, “they mate for life.”
a/n: people who actually know how to play poker, don’t come at me, I know I need to learn!!
warning you guys now there will be no part 3 😊😊 sorry
thank you for reading 🤍🤍
THE JAMESON CARD BETTER BE HERE SOON 👹👹 IM MANIFESTING IT WITH THIS FIC
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moon-my-beloved · 3 days
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Wicked Game: a little snippet of the next chapter :3
“I don’t think I can do this.” You mutter nervously, clenching your sweaty palms against the fabric of your gloves for the millionth time that day as you sit in the passenger seat of Laswell’s car. You two had arrived earlier than expected and were now parked outside the house that belonged to the four men Kate had been speaking of these last couple of days. You barely caught any of it though, too busy trying to figure out why you even agreed to do this in the first place.
You had managed to grasp little bits of information from the conversation, at least important ones that Laswell could provide to you. John being the oldest of friends she had met in London at a soccer game. A quirk on her lip forming as she recounts how their first conversation, more like a debate, started their friendship. They worked together, in an organization of some sort called ‘Task Force 1-4-1’ taking down bad guys as Laswell simply put it. That’s where the other three come in: Simon, Johnny, and Kyle. She had explained that they all have worked together on various missions she could not disclose but made it clear that these were people she trusted with her life.
“They’re family.” Crow's feet deepened as her eyes crinkled with the smile she wore while talking about them. You knew Laswell would never lie to you but at that moment you felt the warmth in her words with how much compassion and inclination she had for her team.
She had spared any detail of their personal lives, stating that there would be no point in meeting them if she just told you everything that she knew about these men. You’re here to get to know each other, she had said, not knowing that it was probably the last thing you wanted these four guys to accomplish.
It was really meaningless. You would just end up being a small blip in their minds once this whole ordeal is over.
“Getting cold feet on me?” An amused expression written all over her face at your troubling state. Turning off the engine and unbuckling herself, she turns her body to face you as she crosses her arms over her chest “Nervous?”
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you lean your elbow against the small space between the window and you, rubbing your fingers over your eyes before breaking the silence. “You know I’m not good at whatever this is,” Hand waving desperately in the air and eyes flickering towards the house and hers just to be met with a stoic face as she listens to you ramble about how you just want to go back home like you’re a spoiled child having a tantrum in the middle of a candy store. You might as well be at this point. Pressing your lips together in an attempt to stop yourself from saying too much, you sit up and look at yourself in the front view mirror. “I just don’t know what to do, Kate.”
‘You don’t want to disappoint her.’
A small chuckle can be heard from the woman along with a warm palm against your shoulder breaking you out of your thoughts as you lift your head just enough to meet Kate’s sympathetic yet serious gaze.
“You won’t mess it up if that’s what you’re worried about. I know this can be.. different for you but I promise, things will go great.” A soft smile on her lips as she gives your cheek a small pat before pulling away. “Just let me do the talking and we’ll go off from there, okay? Baby steps.” She reassures you, grabbing the small bags of gifts from the backseat for you to take. “Here, you’ll be my little delivery person for today.” She says as she hops off the car and closes the door behind her.
“Shit- wait!” You give yourself a quick once-over, barely managing to catch up to Kate as you try your very best to avoid any of the small gifts from falling off your arms. “Rude.” You say when you meet Kate at the front door.
“We don’t want to keep the boys waiting with how eager they’ve been to meet my ‘mystery’ friend.” The corner of her lip twitching up into a smirk as she points at the door. “You ready?”
“Just knock.” You say. A bit harsher than you wanted it to come out as you look the other way to find anything to distract yourself from your own misery.
Rolling her eyes, Kate lifts up her hand and lands three solid knocks against the wood of the door, shoving her own hands into the warmth of her puffer jacket. You think you hear Laswell complain about how cold it is before a booming voice can be heard coming from the other side of the door followed by heavy footsteps inching closer.
You tense up, feeling like your heart is about to beat itself out of your rib cage if that’s even possible with how anxious you are.
‘Fuck. Maybe you can make a run for it.’
As if Laswell could sense what you were thinking, she grabs the hem of your coat to hold you in place before the door swings open.
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fizzyginfizz · 3 days
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What was your childhood headcanon for a hp character that changed as you grew older?
The break-up in HBP after Dumbledore’s funeral.  I used to be so frustrated with Ginny, thinking there’s no way she would tolerate this poor excuse for a break-up, the overprotective nonsense, her sidelining.
However, these were thoughts that were born from a time in my life when I was learning how to advocate for myself. I was learning to use my voice, learning to be me - and I felt every argument or conflict that I gave ground on was a sublimation of this sense of self I was still in a process of discovering. So that’s the lens I saw this conversation through.
Now, I see that whole interaction not as a girl learning to claim her own power, but as a woman who has learned a lot about functional long-term relationships – and I find this “break-up” a gorgeous example of relationship goals. Both parties explain their feelings, explain where they are coming from, they aren’t downplaying their emotions and even disagreeing, they listen to the other.
But sometimes there’s a bigger picture and sometimes one person in the relationship has a higher emotional stake in the outcome, and that’s what is happening here. In this case Ginny sacrifices what she wants in order to give Harry what he needs. Because the stakes are so danged high. He needs to believe she’s safe, that he’s keeping her safe. Even if it’s not entirely true, he needs it and it’s not a permanent relationship dynamic or pattern for one person to understand in that moment, in that situation, in that scenario, the other person’s needs may come first.
And Harry’s “he knew that at that moment they understood each other perfectly, and that when he told her what he was going to do now, she would not say, ‘Be careful,’ or ‘Don’t do it,’ but accept his decision, because she would not have expected anything less of him” is one of the most romantic, most beautiful statements of seeing and being seen in these books. That line is the reason why I roll my eyes whenever people say, “Harry just has a thing for Quidditch players” or “Ginny is a fangirl.”  No, they understand the deepest core of each other. This conversation no longer frustrates me - it’s what convinces me they’re going to be alright in the end.
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Ford x Fem!Reader
Math Assistant Pt.1
Summary: Ford needs himself an assistant, Stanley makes an online post for him and BOOM there you are, coming to meet him for an interview at the diner.
Warnings: Erm... this is a nothing sandwich I THINK. Please let me know if I should add something
A/N: My brothers in christ please this is my first fic that I wrote on a whim, I had an idea and I started writing. I have never written fan ficiton in my life so pls be nice... also who up wit dey werm to Stanford Pines HOOBA HOOBA!!!!! Okay also I want to write SMUT for this so imagine this is like the really really really long winded plot to the porno. K thanks bye read if u want or dont i dont control you.
——————
Ford shook his head at Stanley who was seated in front of a new computer now placed in the living room, “I’m still confused on why we should be posting the ad listing “online” rather than the local paper, or putting up flyers around town.” Ford used air quotes for emphasis, he still found the whole idea strange, he liked the computer for being a tool he could use to further research. He didn't like it so much as a vessel for finding candidates for a job he was offering, the thought that he had no idea who was communicating with him unsettled him a bit. Especially knowing the kind of work he was going to be having this future assistant… well assist with.
“Because yer never going to find someone with the qualifications yer asking for in this town” Stan looked over his shoulder at a crossed arm Ford. “Hiring someone for a summer job who has a PhD in Application Math, whatever that means-“
“Applied Mathematics, Stanley” Ford interrupted.
“Whatever it is you're not going to find that here, you and fiddleford are probably the only people in this town to actually have a college degree” he said with a chuckle, turning back to the computer. He was clicking around on some website that Ford had never heard of, let alone just recently finding out what the internet was. “I'm setting up a job listing on some of the local college websites, ya know for people that are studying or just done studying”. The clicking of the mouse and the typing of keys continued as Ford ran the motion through his head, overthinking perhaps every outcome of Stanley posting that job listing. Ultimately though Ford knew he was right in that, no one with at least a degree in Applied Mathematics was going to be residing nearby.
“Just please be careful about the information you include in this job posting, try to keep it minimal as possible. If they ask more questions about specifics you can let them know that I can explain in person.”
Stan looked over his shoulder, his eyebrows slightly downturned with a smirk rising on his face, “I didn’t realize you had hired me to be your assistant, you're going to have to cough up if you want me to do this for you”. Ford groaned in annoyance of his brother, “Stanley you know I don’t know how to use any of that”.
“Exactly why you're going to want to have me help you out with this”, Stanley moved his arm to drape across the back of the chair he was in, looking more directly at him. “That’ll be twenty dollars”, he held out his hand expectantly at his twin. A beat of silence passed between the two as they had a small staring contest, both men’s brows furrowed at the other.
Ford finally reached for his back pocket after he felt he had glared at his brother enough, he slipped a twenty dollar bill from the leather wallet and practically slammed it in his hand before walking in the opposite direction without a word. While Stan on the other hand, was more than beaming when he saw Ford’s hand fall to his back pocket, Stan half shouted as Ford strode out of the room.
“You’ll thank me later when I find the perfect candidate!” He laughed as he said it and returned to more clicking and typing around the website.
Ford returned to the lab to finish up some things before the kids were scheduled to get there later in the month. When they returned from the long months at the ocean, Ford wanted nothing more than to work on something in his lab again. He loved feeling the anticipation of a project becoming something, but of course he knew he could easily get carried away. After Dipper and Mabel left last summer, before Stanley and him were going to head out, he had made a major discovery while working in the lab. He had discovered an atom that was capable of recreating a direct clone of itself and in as many atoms he could count. He continued to work on the project until Stanley was practically dragging him from the house to leave to sail around the world.
While sailing towards one of their final destinations at the end of the trip, Ford finally opened up to Stanley about his worries of falling into the same pits as before. He was worried that he would become too involved, as he already felt himself doing as they were leaving for their trip. He also desperately needed some alone time from Stanley, but he didn’t mention that to him while they were on the boat.
“What if you hired someone to help you with the project?” Stan had offered a possible solution, while he had sat in the boat looking at Ford who was deep in thought over his dilemma. “I mean obviously the last time that happened, it wasn’t great either…” He trailed off after the look on Ford’s face became apparent, regretting the thought of his old college friend.
“I know the last time wasn’t great” Stanley pushed forward, “but maybe if you have someone hired to help with the smaller stuff. Things like using the calculator or something, whatever the small stuff even is to you” he said the last part under a fake cough which earned him a glare from his brother. However, the idea wasn't… terrible, Ford thought. He pondered over the possibilities of having someone helping him out, along with having the two kids upstairs to bother him. If he were to have someone who he didn't have to know that well take on most of the minor details, the equations and such, he would be able to prioritize the best parts of the project while also having time for his family. At least, that’s what he had hoped for when Stanley initially offered the idea.
“That could be a good idea…” Ford said after taking several moments to ponder the possibilities. “I would need someone who could do advanced mathematical equations, with room for equations that could possibly extend what they know…”. Stanley just looked at him deep in thought, wondering how there could be that many things to think about, the answer seemed clear to him.
Back in the lab, Ford could hear Stanley groaning loudly about some ‘unknown error message’. He continued to monitor and take note of the atoms under his advanced microscope for a while, waiting until Stanley had further news of any postings. He wondered what his new assistant would be like, if they could have the same passion for knowledge and understanding as he does.
———
A few days had passed, Ford falling into old habits quickly, holing himself up in the lab for hours upon hours. The only time he was seen over the last 48 hours was to grab more coffee from the kitchen, he caught naps in between work, falling asleep over his piles of scrap paper filled with numbers and letters. Ford had not anticipated how much mathematical reasoning was going to follow the atom cloning discovery, he was falling behind on moving forward with more discoveries on the atoms, but over hundreds of miniscule details that needed solving kept him at the desk. Stan walked down on the 49th hour of Ford’s lock down in the basement, opening the door noisily and making as much noise as possible on the way down to let him know he was on the way. Ford was scribbling away on the nth page of scrap work, crossing out failed attempts of solving equations as Stan broached the lab floor.
Stan awkwardly cleared his throat at Ford when he didn’t turn around, even though Stanley was sure to have made enough noise on the way down. Ford turned his head over his shoulder, his body seeming to not want to move from the space it had cramped into. He raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner, as if asking ‘What? Im busy’. Stan gave a huff of annoyance before starting,
“I have about 3 applications that I thought were worth looking over, most of the idiots who applied didn’t even have math degrees. All they see in the listing is free housing and they flock like birds trying to claw their way in” he said with a slight chuckle. He strided over to Ford’s desk, as Ford leaned back finally interested in what Stan was saying. He took the papers from Stanley and began to look over them. He began thumbing through the few resumes, looking over each one carefully noting that all three people had at least some qualifications in mathematics. He looked up to Stan and gave him a tight smile.
“I appreciate you getting these for me, I’ll reach out to the ones I feel are qualified.” A beat passed between them, Ford paused for a second wondering if he should just return to work at this point or if Stanley had something else since he hasn't made any move to leave.
“I think the one on the bottom will be the best fit.” Stan said with a certain look in his face that Ford couldn’t place, as he turned to leave. Ford looked at him as he walked towards the stairs with a questioning look on his face, wondering what could have led his brother to place a preference on one of these resumes even though he didn't know what applied mathematics was. As Stan trudged up the stairs Ford called to his brother,
“I'll be sure to look at that one, thank you Stanley.” Which made Stanley pause and turn to look at Ford, a distant smile on his face as he nodded and continued up the stairs. Ford turned back to his desk and pulled the resume on the bottom up to the top, the header in nice bold letters a fine print used, he noted.
Y/N YL/N
He also took note that this was the only two-page resume offered to him, with the education list taking up most of the room. Several universities/schools were listed and his eyes read over the names and degrees that followed. He read all the way to the bottom where it listed your highschool with graduation dated in 1999. He noted this person was in their early 30’s with several bachelors degrees in several sciences, two master’s degrees in statistics and biology, and of course a Ph.D in applied mathematics. The latest graduation listed was University of Oregon masters program in statistics for April, which he noted it was now early May noting it would be fresh on the mind. He moved your resume to the back of the small stack, looking over the first two he skipped over, and honestly he wished he saved yours for last. The first two were jokes compared to the advanced knowledge you listed, he set the first aside after noting that the education list was no longer than a paragraph, and the second resume didn’t take long to set aside either as his eyes raked in the many spelling errors.
He read over your resume again looking for a way to contact you to set up the interview. He noted the phone number and email in the corner of the first page, and made to move upstairs to the kitchen phone. As he stood up however, his muscles almost molded into place from sitting at the desk, stopped him from moving further. He groaned as he began to stretch himself out, thinking about how he couldnt wait to stop looking at math problems for hours on end.
Heading back upstairs he reached the phone and quickly gazed at the microwave clock, 3:49 pm. He was glad it wasn’t later than five, as he picked up the corded receiver and began to punch in the numbers. The phone rang a few times before your voice fluttered over the phone, “Hello?”. Ford cleared his throat awkwardly, “Hello! Yes, is this Y/N YL/N? Oh it is, great, this is Stanford Pines calling about a job posting for the assistant position. I was hoping to set up an interview to discuss further details of the position.”
“I was just wondering if I would hear back from this offer,” the light voice on the other end laughed a pleasant laugh a little before continuing, “I’d love to join you for an interview regarding the position, I’m free anytime, anywhere this coming week and the next.”.
Ford offered a time for tomorrow at the local diner, which he provided the address to. The voice on the phone wished Ford a great rest of his night and that they would see him tomorrow. Ford wished them the normal pleasantries he hated to conduct while making mundane phone calls such as these. He was slightly relieved to find you weren’t completely strange, at least right off the bat. When he hung the phone back on the hanger, Stan suddenly spoke, causing Ford to jump from the lack of warning.
“So did you end up going with the one I said?” Stan looked smug as Ford met his gaze, knowing damn well he scared Ford on purpose. Ford rolled his eyes after he settled after the slight scare,
“Unsurprisingly, as you could probably assume. You shouldn’t have even bothered with the other two. One only had a few community college classes under their belt.” Ford turned to make more coffee, he figured he would stretch his legs now as he was planning on working on some more equations before the meeting tomorrow. Stan gave a hearty laugh, “She’s also quite the looker, surprised me when I was pulling resumes”. Ford gave his brother a look as he asked, “Can’t you make your picture anything you want online?”. He remembers when they got the computer last time the kids were here, Dipper had shown him how he had his profile for online DD&MD. He absolutely didn’t understand it, but Dipper assured him this summer he would teach him. Which would benefit him from not having to pay Stanley anytime he needed something done the modern way (this was not often).
“Yeah but this was on a college website, everyone has their picture I think. It looks all like student ID’s… Oh don’t look at me like that! I looked at all of their profile pictures. She just happened to have the best looking picture.” Stan finished with a shrug and a laugh. Ford had looked at him like he was crazy for looking through all the people who applied profile pictures before feeling the need to ask, “You did give me recommendations on experience, not looks correct?”.
Stan shook his head, “I know you would kill me if I passed on a math nerd over an actual good looking girl” he laughed, turning “I'm going to head out gotta meet some people, don’t wait up for me.” Stan said as he was walking out the door, grabbing the keys as he slammed the door. Ford shook his head and decided to take his brother's word for it, his mind replaying what his twin mentioned, “quite the looker” as if that could have any effect on anything. Ford thought he didn't care much at all for how a person appeared as long as they could solve these problems that's all that mattered, and maybe that they were decently pleasant to work with. He couldnt help but reflect back to the phone call, your light and airy voice filling his ear with pleasant sound, at least you didnt have a horrible voice and he could probably get used to hearing that voice more often, he thought. Ford filled his cup with coffee and headed back downstairs not giving the interview tomorrow much more thought than your voice on the phone.
—————
A/N: Yay I did it!!! yeah so what if its a nothing sandwich?? Didnt i literally say that before hand.. hope you enjoyed if ya read! <3
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necrotic-nephilim · 17 hours
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in my mind brudick marriage happens almost byaccident: after bruce “dies” dick is left alone and without access to damian or the manor or funds as he was never adopted and is only a former ward, so in dicks grieving mind the clearest way forward is to forge a secret but technically legal marriage, bruce doesn’t find out for years after he comes back, damian knew why he was in custody with richard and assumed it was common knowledge that no one ever brought up, alfred just lets this all play out even knowing that bruce did have a clause in his will to protect dick incase of death (plans upon plans), bruce was upset in all the ways bruce would deny his feelings
this is SUCH a good thought oh my god-
first of all, i am kissing you on the mouth for adding morally fucked up Alfred who just *lets* this play out. he could easily intervene and he *should*, but the idea that he doesn't because for some reason he thinks this is for the best is *such* good food. i love the thought that Alfred knows about unresolved BruDick feelings and feels in Bruce's death, Bruce at least deserves the one thing he never allowed himself to have in life: Dick's hand in marriage. and Dick is so deep in denial and just trying to legally keep hold of Damian and Wayne Enterprises. it's such a stupid last ditch effort and he doesn't even expect it to *work* but it does. Dick is able to keep it under wraps with only a few lawyers and WE higher ups knowing, the public assumes Bruce naturally left everything to Dick bc why wouldn't he? Dick is his eldest ward, after all. Damian knows bc he sees all the papers concerning Dick having his legal guardianship and he just shrugs it off because really, his father's relationship with Dick is none of his business.
and of course, when Bruce comes up there are so many *other* things to handle that Dick just doesn't think to mention it. he's not willingly withholding the information and Bruce assumes Dick *knew* about the contingencies Bruce set up for his death so he doesn't question Dick having all this control. it's not until years later when one of his WE lawyers passingly mentions "oh you might need your husband to sign off on this too" and Bruce is like. i'm sorry my *what*. because he knows the Batfam got up to some chaotic things trying to keep his death a secret, but no one mentioned a *husband*. so Bruce checks the paperwork and is going through every single stage of grief because *did no one think to tell him he's legally married to Dick.* Bruce demands answers and Dick has to awkwardly explain the whole thing to a baffled Bruce who just asks why Dick didn't *check Bruce's files* for this. (maybe Dick didn't think to, maybe Alfred deleted them, who's to say) Bruce wants to be mad at Dick, mostly for not telling Bruce. but all his unspoken feelings make it *very* difficult to figure out what to do. especially when Dick offers to quietly get a divorce since enow the marriage isn't needed and Bruce's *gut* reaction is to blurt out no, no no let's not do that. and he can't explain why he's so against it without admitting how badly he wants to be married to Dick even amidst the worst of his feelings.
it takes them months to actually *talk* about it, and tbh it's probably Damian's assumptions about their relationship that make them face it. bc to Damian the mutual feelings are obvious and the marriage is known so yes of course, Bruce and Dick are in love and together what's so difficult to understand about this, it's no one's business but their own. (i especially love the idea of Damian chastises other characters like Tim for trying to ask questions because doesn't Tim know romance for Bruce is a very private affair and it's *wildly* disrespectful of Tim to think he has the right to know these things.) and so when Damian makes a passing comment about their relationship and Bruce and Dick share a mortified look, they realize they have to talk about it. and instead of ending on clearing the air, they accidentally confess feelings for one another. it's stilted and painful, but they manage to agree maybe they can keep the marriage going. and maybe they don't have to correct Damian.
(also, this is a side thought but: i think a lot about how Tommy Elliot was made to pretend to be Bruce while Bruce was dead and all that fun, and i think it's fun if Tommy knows about the marriage bc he helped Dick sign off on it. and Tommy tries to force Dick into a relationship with him to "maintain the facade" and Dick rejects the advances, maybe Tommy even forces himself on Dick once or twice. it doesn't go too far and they get Tommy back under control, but it's clear Tommy's annoyed when Bruce comes back and he doesn't get to "have his fun" anymore. also fun if Bruce finds out about this and is *furious* bc not only did he not know he's married to Dick, but it was *Tommy* who got to have Dick as a husband before Bruce did and now he's jealous and pissed about the whole thing. just a fun little aside thought bc i wish the fandom had more fun with Tommy's era of pretending to be Bruce.)
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sugdenlovesdingle · 3 days
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I FINALLY DID IT!
I finished my pride fic! With an hour to go until the episode airs!
@flufftober 2023 Day 27: outdoor event
Austin Pride (AO3)
Owen and Gabriel go to pride with their sons
---
“Have you ever been to one of these? With TK?” Gabriel asked, tapping the ad in the paper open on Owen's kitchen table.
“Been to what? A camping supplies store?” Owen joked, turning the paper around to see what Gabriel meant. “Oh, that. Yeah, a few times. Back in New York. Never here though. I didn't actually know there was one.”
Gabriel nodded.
“Have the boys said anything... to you... about... going?”
“No, no I don't think so... although...” Owen trailed off, grabbing his phone and unlocking it and scrolling through his work calendar. “TK did schedule time off work that weekend. So my guess is that they're going.”
Gabriel nodded again.
“Are you... thinking of going too?” Owen asked. “Have you ever been?”
“No. When I was young... well... I don't think there was ever one where I grew up. And by the time I ended up in the big city... It's just never been on my radar.”
“Not even when Carlos or your girls were growing up?"
Gabriel snorted and took a swig of his drink. Andrea would have his head if she knew he was day drinking with Owen and not at his PT appointment.
“You know the mess we made of things with Carlos. So no, I've never been. Not with Carlos, not by myself.”
“But you're thinking of changing that?” Owen guessed.
“Well... it's definitely been on my mind more lately.” Gabriel admitted. “But I'm not sure it's my place.”
“Why not? Everyone is welcome at these things. That's kind of the whole point of them.” Owen chuckled. “The first time Gwyn and I went with TK was when he was 15 or 16. I don't know which one of us was more nervous.”
“What was it like?”
“Loud. Colourful. Lots of happy people. Everyone was in a party mood. We had fun. Even more so the second year when we actually marched. And a drag queen called me a DILF.”
“A what?” Gabriel asked, confused.
“DILF. It’s an acronym.”
“For…?”
“Dad I’d like to…” Owen raised an eyebrow and sipped his drink. “You know.”
“Dad I’d like to what?”
“You know… get freaky with...”
“What? Oh! I… should have known what that F stood for.”
Owen shrugged.
“I didn’t. I looked it up when I got home.” He laughed. “TK told me to never mention it out loud to anyone ever again.”
Gabriel nodded and tried to imagine having such memories with Carlos.
“But apart from that… what is it like? One of those parades.”
“Well in New York there were a lot of advocacy groups marching. And it was quite political. But there were also a lot of people marching because they just… wanted to. Celebrating who they are, who they love.” Owen said and laughed. “You should have seen TK’s face when this guy from a gay health clinic gave him free condoms and lube. And then turned to me and gave me some too because “sexual health is important no matter your age.” He said using air quotes. “TK was 17 I think. He refused to look at me the rest of the day. I slipped the condoms and lube in his backpack though when we got home. I didn’t know if he was actually having sex back then, but if he was, I wanted him to be safe you know.”
“Yeah…” Gabriel agreed and tried to remember if he’d ever talked to Carlos about sex, let alone gay sex, let alone safe gay sex. He knew Andrea had sat their girls down when they hit puberty, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember ever doing so with Carlos. “Would it be… weird… if I were to go to that parade?”
“As a spectator?”
“Maybe? Or participant.”
“I don’t see why it would be. We could go together!” Owen said, getting excited. “We could march with the boys! We could get matching shirts!”
“Oh… I uh I don’t know if Carlos would want me to. They’ve probably got plans with their friends.”
“We can all march together!” Owen pointed out. “Maybe that friend of Carlos’ I got talking to at the wedding will be there. What’s his name again… something with a J I think. He had some killer moves on the dancefloor.” He shook his head. “Anyway let me call the boys and then we can figure out our outfits.”
Before Gabriel had time to stop him or even make him take a breath and discuss things, Owen had pulled up TK’s contact and hit call.
“TK, what are you and Carlos doing the weekend of the 30th?” He said the second the call connected, not bothering with hello.
“The weekend of the - wait that's pride weekend. I scheduled the weekend off. It's already been approved. You're not making me change it now. We have plans.” TK replied, apparently not bothered by the lack of greeting.
“Yes, yes, I know. But what kind of plans? Are you marching in the parade?”
“I don't know... maybe. Why? Please tell me you're not planning on marching with the entire 126?”
“What? No.” Owen said immediately. “It's way too short notice." He paused to think. “But it's an excellent idea for next year. Remind me to talk to the AFD brass about it. We could build a float or use one of the ladder trucks! We could probably find some rainbow decorations or just buy some pride flags. Maybe we could get a local artist to design something for us! We could set up a competition! Maybe we could even get the winning design as a mural in the firehouse!"
Owen was getting more and more excited and started moving around the house to find a pen and paper to write his ideas down.
"Dad, dad, DAD!" TK all but yelled down the phone to get his attention. “Is that why you called? To talk about your ideas for an LGBT+ friendly firehouse?”
“No, you just gave me that idea.” he scribbled some key words down on an old receipt.
“So why did you call then? On my day off. That I'm spending with my husband who magically also has the day off. And we're enjoying that. Together. Alone.” TK said, emphasising the last two words.
Owen caught the implication but decided to ignore it.
“Oh yes, right. I wanted to know what your plans are for the pride weekend because we thought we might join you and march in the parade together.”
“We? Who is we?”
“Me and Gabriel. It'll be a multi-generational father and son thing. We were thinking of getting matching t-shirts printed. For all four of us.” Owen said, looking at Gabriel for confirmation.
“Wait, my father wants to go to pride?” Carlos asked and Owen briefly wondered if he'd been on speaker the whole time.
“Yes! It was his idea. He wants to share the experience with you. With both of you. And me I suppose. Even though I'm not gay. I mean... there was that one time in college...”
“Ok please stop talking.” TK said quickly. “I really don’t want to hear about your college hook ups.”
“It wasn’t a hook up!” Owen protested. “More like a… mutual understanding and appreciation.”
“Uhuh. Yeah, sure, Carlos and I have those all the time. This morning actually. He was very appreciative. And understanding. He’s also very good at following instructions. Very eager to please.”
“TK!” Owen heard Carlos say after some sputtering and coughing. He assumed TK had made him choke on his drink.
“What?” TK said innocently and Owen could practically hear the shit eating grin that was without a doubt on his face. “I was just saying we have a lot of these mutual appreciation moments. And how much I enjoy those.”
“Yeah, please don’t.”
“I can’t talk about how much I appreciate my husband now?” TK asked. “My big, strong, hot… so incredibly hot you wouldn’t believe…”
“TK…” Carlos warned but it came out more of a mix between a giggle and gasp.
“Guys, focus, please.” Owen interrupted them. “What colour are we thinking for the shirts? I was thinking pink, to fit the theme.”
“Wait what theme? When did we agree on a theme?” TK asked, distracted.
“The pride theme. Pink for pride.”
“Shouldn’t it be rainbow themed then?” Carlos asked, sounding somewhat more composed.
“I’m not sure I’d look good in rainbow colours.” Owen mused. “Yellow isn’t really my colour. It washes me out.”
“Dad, just wear whatever you normally wear.” TK said, sounding like he’d resigned himself to the fact he wasn’t getting out of going along with his dad’s idea. “We don’t need a theme. Carlos and I have our outfits planned out already.”
“No we don’t.” Carlos protested. “I told you, I’m not wearing that in public.”
TK sighed.
“We’re still discussing our outfits.” He corrected himself. “So just wear whatever. Nobody is going to pay attention to what you’re wearing… unless you’re in drag or wearing ass-less chaps.” He paused. “Please don’t wear those.” 
“I don’t think the cowboy look is really for me.” Owen mused. “But I do still have my motorcycle outfit…”
“If you wear that I’m not walking anywhere near you. And that’s a promise.” TK swore and Owen laughed.
“I guess my outfit is still a work in progress too. Gabriel and I will brainstorm and we’ll let you know what’s what.”
“Sure. But no leather and if anyone calls you daddy, I’m out of there.” TK warned him before ending the call.
Owen laughed and sat back down at the table with Gabriel.
“See? I told you the boys would be on board. Now, what do you think. Pink or rainbow?”
The next few weeks consisted of Owen forwarding every outfit idea he had to Gabriel as well as their sons in their family group chat.
TK shot almost everything down right away, while Gabriel was unsure and let Owen decide for them both.
“Ok, the boys said they’d meet us at the starting point of the parade. It’s not that far but we should get going soon if we want to get a good spot. You want to get behind the advocacy groups but still near enough to the front that people still pay attention.” Owen said as he let Gabriel into his house a few weeks later. “I have our shirts and signs right here.”
“Signs? What signs?”
“The signs we agreed on…” Owen said slowly as if he was talking to a child.
“I don’t remember agreeing to signs. What do we need signs for when we have the shirts?”
“We agreed it would be nice. I had them made especially. They’re laminated.” Owen held up one of the signs. “I know a guy who makes those yard signs for politicians, he made these for me.”
“Right. Well… I think… I’ll just stick to the shirt for now.” Gabriel said, warily eyeing the sign Owen was holding.
“Alright. Well… I’ll just… take both of them then. Maybe I can convince Judd to march with us too. He’s a father too and I think he and Grace mentioned taking Charlie to watch the parade because she likes colours.” Owen rambled while Gabriel looked at the two matching t-shirts laid out on the kitchen table.
“If you’re not sure, we can just go and watch. The boys won’t mind.” Owen suggested, picking up on Gabriel’s unease.
“No, I promised Carlos I’d march with him, so that’s what I’m going to do.” Gabriel said resolutely. “Andrea and the girls said they’d come watch too and I don’t want to let them all down.” He picked up one of the shirts. “Where can I change?”
When they arrived at the parade starting point, Owen seemed to feel right at home and within five minutes he’d become best friends with a few of the drag queens also getting ready to march.
“I’m here with my friend.” He gestured to Gabriel. “We’re consuegros actually. Our sons are married and we’re marching with them… but I don’t think they’re here yet.” He looked around. “We got matching t-shirts and we’re marching as a family.”
“That’s nice darling but you have to look the part if you’re going to march. That t-shirt just won’t do. Let us give you a make over.” She looked back and forth between Owen and Gabriel. “Both of you.”
Fifteen minutes later Owen had a rainbow flag painted on his cheek and both of them wore rainbow sashes, though Gabriel had convinced their style team to tie it around the rim of his hat instead of wearing it the way it was meant to.
One of the queens had called it Texas-chic and he liked the sound of that.
“Carlos! TK! Over here!” Owen yelled and waved when he spotted their sons in the crowd.
TK waved back and dragged Carlos with him over to their fathers. Owen did his best to hide his disappointment when he saw neither of them were wearing the t-shirts he’d made for them.
“Why aren’t you wearing the shirts we agreed on?”
“It’s too hot for those.”
“We’re wearing them.”
“That’s your choice.” TK said with a shrug. “And besides, I’m here with my husband, I’m wearing the ring he put on my finger, and his last name. I think people are going to get the message that I think being gay is ok.”
“I have the shirts in my backpack.” Carlos told them and shrugged at the raised eyebrow from his husband. “Your dad put a lot of time and effort into them, TK. The least we could do is wear them for half an hour.”
TK lovingly rolled his eyes at him.
“You’re such a boy scout.” He said and kissed Carlos’ cheek. “But I’m fine wearing what I’m currently wearing.”
Owen decided to drop it and just stood back and let the chaos unfold as his and Gabriel’s style team set their sights on TK and Carlos.
Before long they’d painted rainbow flags on their cheeks, put temporary tattoos on their arms, and managed to talk Carlos into taking off the tank top he was wearing underneath a mesh shirt, much to TK’s delight.
By the time the parade started moving, someone had given all four of them little rainbow flags to wave, and Owen was trying to find a way to both wave his flag and carry two signs.
The four of them started walking with the rest of the crowd, waving their flags and waving to the people watching from the sides.
There was a DJ on the back of a pickup truck playing party music, and TK convinced Carlos to dance with him when the parade had stopped for a moment.
Someone shouted at him to put a ring on it when they saw Carlos’ moves, and he just laughed, held up his hand to show off his wedding ring, and yelled back he’d already done that.
The song ended and the two of them walked back to where Owen and Gabriel were standing and watching them.
A few people had noticed the “Free dad hugs” signs they were holding and came to ask for a hug. Owen happily obliged but Gabriel seemed a little awkward and unsure what to do.
“Are you ok dad?” Carlos asked him and Gabriel nodded.
“I’m fine. It’s just… a lot to take in.”
Carlos looked around.
“Yeah… I was kind of overwhelmed the first time I went. The first time TK dragged me along.” He smiled to himself .“We’d only been together a couple of months by then. It was a lot but it was a great experience.”  
Gabriel smiled.
“I'm proud of you.” He told Carlos and squeezed his shoulder. “I know I haven't always been the best dad to you but I'm so proud of the man you are. I'm so proud to call you my son.”
Carlos swallowed thickly and nodded.
“Thanks dad. That... means a lot.”
“I should have said it sooner.” Gabriel shook his head. “Before I got this shirt made. Before I let Owen convince me all this was a good idea.” He said and laughed, gesturing at himself in his brightly coloured I love my gay son shirt and the rainbow sash around the rim of his hat.
“I don't know, I think it suits you. You blend right in.” TK said, trying to relieve the tension somewhat. “You're one of us now.”
Gabriel laughed and in a rare public display of affection pulled both him and Carlos into a hug.
“That puts me in great company.”
“I agree.” Owen said, joining their group hug. “You boys are the best thing to happen to us.”
The parade started moving again but as they marched, more people started to approach both Owen and Gabriel for dad hugs.
Owen thrived in the attention and somehow managed to bring out a whole new version of Gabriel, who seemed to enjoy being able to make people happy with a small gesture.
“Are you seeing this?” Carlos asked TK. They were walking a few steps behind their dads, watching it all unfold.
“Yeah. Looks like my dad finally had a good influence on someone.”
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yatagarasuhonyaku · 3 days
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Yukiya's Birth Mother (Novel Translation)
Blog Version
Context: At the end of the book, the equivalent of Episode 11, Natsuka and Sumio reveal they have not only known all along Yukiya’s real lineage, but they approached him with their intention to make the most of said status for Wakamiya’s sake.
“Brother!” Wakamiya’s sharp voice resounded through the room once again. Natsuka fell completely silent.
Sumio, who had been happily prattling on without a care until a moment ago, looked in Yukiya’s direction. His face suddenly twisted in discomfort.
“… Yukiya? What’s wrong?” He asked, yet Yukiya had no words in him to answer.
“Hah, so it’s as I thought, you are from the Northern House!” Rokon exclaimed, paying no mind to the dark mood in the room. “Well, there is no mistaking the Northern bloodline with a face of yours. Was that whole tale about having a different mother just some lie?”
No comment was made on Rokon’s insensitive question. Instead, his tone subdued, Wakamiya started to explain.
“It’s not a lie. Out of the three Taruhi brothers, the Northern Princess only gave birth to Yukiya. The eldest and the youngest have a different mother.”
“Huh, how come the concubine’s son is the heir of the family? Weird things sure do happen sometimes.”
“She’s not a concubine. Both are legal wives.” Yukiya answered this time, his voice cold as ice.
“Both are legal wives? What does that even mean?”
As Yukiya spoke on, he made a point of ignoring Natsuka and Sumio. They only stood there, perplexed by the boy’s sudden change in attitude.
“It’s normal you didn’t know, Sir Rokon,” Yukiya said, “Both Taruhi and the Northern House treat my birth mother, the first legal wife of the Lord of Taruhi, as if she hadn’t ever existed. But she was the Lord of the North’s second daughter.”
Yukiya kept explaining, emotionless. “She was frail from birth, or so I’ve been told. Everyone thought she couldn’t have children, and that she wouldn’t live for much longer anyway.”
The Lord of the North once pitied his daughter, saddled as she was by a short lifespan, and wanted nothing but to give her a chance to experience a happy simple life. And so, he sought to marry her to a man of her own choice, one she loved. The man she chose for herself was the then eldest son of Taruhi: Yukiya’s father, Yukimasa. She had fallen in love at first sight, apparently, and it was not a bad deal for Yukimasa either.
At the time, Yukiya’s grandfather held the position of Lord of Taruhi Village. He was suffering from sickness and wanted nothing but to retire, but Yukimasa was too young back then, which, among other concerns, led his relatives to ask him to please consider giving the position to another person.
To take up a princess of the Northern House as his legal wife was an extremely effective way to shut those voices up. The princess soon moved in, and Yukimasa took up his position as Lord.
During the following years, Yukiya’s mother led a happy life despite being bedbound. Everyone had thought she would live another year at best when she married, but soon that year turned to two, then three. It should have been happy news, yet a problem started to appear as her life kept prolonging. 
Soon, the Lord of the North started to worry about the lack of heirs.
Her health had indeed stabilized, but he knew her body was still in no condition to bear any children. The idea had been to have Yukimasa remarry once the princess passed away, yet she lived on. Had this situation continued on, the Lord of Taruhi Village would have found himself incapable of having any children. If what came after was a suggestion born out of gratitude towards the man who had accepted to look after his daughter until her death, nobody can say.
It had been the sixth Spring after the princess’s marriage. 
The Lord of the North went to visit the man who married his own daughter and asked him: ‘how about taking a concubine?’ Whether Yukimasa found himself in no position to reject his own lord, or he freely accepted, nobody can say. In the end, he still ended up taking a concubine: the woman who would later raise Yukiya as her own child, Azusa.
The Lord of the North chose Azusa personally, so both her lineage and personality were impeccable. She was truly a wonderful woman. Azusa came from a family of the Central Nobility that had long served the Northern Clan, so the Lord and his Consort had pampered her from childhood as if she were another one of their daughters. 
Yukima, the eldest son, was soon born to Yukimasa and Azusa. It’s said that when the Northern Lord got the news of his birth, he rejoiced as if he were his own grandson.
However, it came as a complete surprise for the Northern Princess. As it turns out, she had not been told anything on the matter before her husband took a concubine and, of all the possible timings, she was only informed of it after Yukima’s birth. To make matters worse, the mother was Azusa, with whom she had grown up as sisters.
The princess, who had lived happily bedbound until then, was enraged. Or perhaps indignation would be a more suitable way to describe it. Whatever it was, the result was the same: she pushed herself to her very limits, gave birth to a son, Yukiya, and then—died, just as expected.
She knew what would happen to her from the start.
Yet Yukiya’s mother ignored everyone’s vehement opposition to the idea, and eventually met her end without ever holding her son in her arms. And so Yukiya, who had lost his mother, was raised by Azusa.
“It’s truly quite the similar story to Wakamiya’s,” Yukiya affirmed, still impassive, “I’m the second son, but there was a time when everyone in the Northern Region thought I would become the heir in my brother’s place.” 
Azusa became Yukimasa’s consort immediately after the Princess died, yet it proved to be pointless. It all happened around the time Yukiya was five years old.
He had simply managed to read a difficult poem before his older brother once, yet that’s all it took. Soon after, both the Northern Court Ravens and their relatives in Taruhi came over all together just to feel out their father’s opinion about disinheriting the older brother.
Thinking back, it was preposterous; but apparently Yukimasa truly found himself at a loss back then. His relatives didn’t hesitate to blame him for the death of the Princess, all because he took a concubine. People would come just to badmouth Azusa to her face, asking her if she didn’t pity the poor dead princess. Her son’s position in the family was in question, and she couldn’t even rely on her own husband; so she suffered alone. 
Despite all of that, Yukimasa kept focusing on staying on good graces with the Northern Lord, and did nothing publicly to protect either Yukima or his still living wife.
“I thought to myself. ‘I won’t tolerate this for yet another second.’”
Natsuka swallowed. Yukiya’s entire self was filled to the brim with utter contempt. “So that’s why… That’s why you always pretended to be a fool”
“Well… There was no other way to save my family, wasn’t it? Despite it all, I do love my family.” Yukiya replied. He was fully aware of his own overflowing rage, and the fact it was plain for all to see. “If my father is not going to protect us, then the only option that’s left is for me to do so. Me, as the second son, to my family.”
And so Yukiya wouldn’t—couldn’t—look past what he had just learnt.
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cassofheartsss · 16 hours
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Suburban Legends
a/n: This is inspired by suburban legends by taylor swift and this is the second thing i’ve ever written so don’t expect it to be the best
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It was your 5 year high school reunion and you were outside in the parking lot waiting to go in. The reunion was being held at hawkins high school and you knew you’d see Steve again. Everyone expected you and Steve to walk in together but you broke up about six months after graduating which shocked everyone. You saw some of your old friend group and immediately greeted them and walked in with them. “Oh my god hey i’ve not seen you in like forever” Nancy said with a smile. You and Nancy had always been close. “Hey Nance it’s so nice to see you again” You say hugging her. “Heyyy” Robin said when she saw you. “Hey Robs” You replied hugging her too. “Are you excited to see Steve?” Jonathan asked. “It might be nice to see him again” You said and Robin gave you a look. She knew you still liked him it was so obvious to everyone actually. “So how did the breakup actually happen?” Nancy asked. “I paced down his block, I broke my own heart cause he was too polite to do it” You said and Nancy,Robin and Jonathan instantly understood what you meant. You then started talking about what you had all been doing since you graduated.
After a few minutes Steve walked and you immediately looked at him. He walked over to you and the rest of the group and greeted everyone and just nodded at you. He then walked over to the drinks table to get a drink and you followed him. He was so magnetic it was almost obnoxious.
“Um hi” You said to Steve and he turned to look at you. You smiled at him and also grabbed a drink. You was hoping this wouldn’t be awkward especially since you hadn’t talked to each other since the breakup, which was four and a half years ago.
“Oh hi it’s nice to see you again” He said with a smile. Thank god this wasn’t going to be awkward. Obviously it wouldn’t be was Steve Harrington he was Good with women.
“It’s nice to see you again too” You said and then music started playing on the speakers. The song that was playing was the song you and Steve always used danced to.
“Do you wanna dance?” Steve asked with a smirk not waiting for your answer and pulling you to the dance floor. He put his hands on your waist and you put your hands around his neck and danced together. You wanted to say something but you had no words. When he holds you, it holds you together.
You were getting closer and closer to eachother and you knew this probably wasn’t a good idea but you didn’t actually come here to make friends. “I know that you still remember we were born to be national treasures” You said to steve finally thinking of something to say. “Y’know I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school and i’d end up back at a class reunion walking in with you. You’d be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out and i was hoping i’d be sharing this moment with you right now” You continued.
“I always hoped we’d get back together” Steve said smirking. “We were born to be suburban legends” He continued. You both leaned in closer and your lips met. Oh god he kissed you in a way that’s gonna screw you up forever. For the first time in almost five years everything seemed normal again. Maybe just maybe your life wouldn’t be ruined and maybe Steve would once again be a page in your diary.
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tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
#setting everything up for filming to begin on tuesday#holy shit it’s been so long since i made movies and i’m feeling so healthy and good about it because i took a year long break from everythin#g for my health and before that i’d been in the throes of intense burnout for like… two consecutive years almost?#so i had to just.#stop.#everything.#and i got diagnosed and got meds for my adhd and yes up until very recently i had overwhelming anxiety about if i’d ever make movies again b#ecause it had been so long and i was still scared even though i felt better and what’s most heartbreaking but in kind of a positive way was#that all this time i’d still had that passion and desire and love and yearning for this. it never left that deep inside me place where it ha#d buried itself over four years ago when i’d realized this is the thing i want to do.#fun fact this was…#the first thing in my whole life that i Knew i wanted to do.#i hadn’t had genuine motivation towards anything in my life before.#my point is that only in the beginning of the month i was grieving not knowing if i’d lost this forever even though i knew i felt better.#but then my favorite director friend texted me the literal morning after my breakdown knowing nothing and was like hey do u wanna do costume#assistant stuff or props master stuff in my thesis film and. that was it. this magical sign from the universe that it was indeed not lost an#d that it was time to get back. and i did. and the fucking AMOUNT of wisdom and calm and just. improvement that happened inside me during my#break… it’s like……….#it’s crazy.#Taking A Break Actually Helps and Medication Actually Helps (that one was obvious). and You Gain Wisdom And Especially _Are Able To Implemen#t It_ after tough times and some of it is like… it feels like it just Happened inside me more than it feels like i’d knowingly mulled everyt#hing over uknow?#idfk. cool n fun.#it talks#janna’s film school diaries
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salsa-di-pomodoro · 1 year
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Ok but can we talk about the absolute horror of being watched and monitored 24/7 that the ancients must have had. The citizenship drones being like an Alexa that's constantly following and listening to you (except it's five pebbles and not Alexa lmao). The fucking OVERSEERS. THEY'RE CALLED THAT FOR A REASON. BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THEIR CITIZENS AS WELL AS THE ENVIRONMENT ALL THE TIME. (I would talk about the fact that they all show arti fucking ads as well but honestly idk what else to say about that. Capitalism got yet another society 😔). That's some fucking nightmare fuel dystopian society settings we are being hinted at. You know the Big Brother Is Watching You thing. The book. Yeah that's what it reminds me of.
The Iterator Is Watching You.
#imagine not being able to escape being watched any second of your life#imagine being one of the first ancients who saw an iterator come into being#imagine being one of the first ancients who had to go live on top of them#imagine being one of the first amcients to be constantly scrutinized by the overseers#i bet they knew this wasn't really a good thing#no matter how religious they were. by the time of pebbles though they were far too religiously indoctrinated to realize this was bad#(as a society i mean. theres always some who disagree and figure out what's going on)#disclaimer i have never read the book i am talking about and only know it through references and pop culture. still tho yk what i mean#rain world#rainworld#rain world iterator#rw iterator#iterator#rw five pebbles#five pebbles#im tagging him too even tho hes only mentioned i wanna reach more ppl with this#pls i may not have said everything i wanted to say cause i cant get my thoughts straight rn but i want to hear what yall think about this#agh the whole situation is so fucked imagine being the Big Brother in this and not even having a choice in it.#imagine that everyone with critical thinking knows this and cant do anything about it.#not even mentioning the cataclysmic level rain the iterators brought. like dude who thought this was a good idea.#imagine all this + the end of the world and its ecosystem as you know it happening right before your eyes#and you cant even blame the person at fault that much bc they were literally fucking born into this#rw overseer#forgot this one#rw ancients
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I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.
#fourth wing#ngl my first thought reading the book was 'oh shit she Knew brennan wanted to use his sis as a scribe informant for the rebellion the same#way he maybe used his dad and she was like hell no and put her in the riders quadrant to get her brainwashed that navarre is right instead#so that she doesn't end up dead like spy-scribe dad and his questionable research into ward magic'#but then i thought about it more and decided i wasn't giving papa sorrengail enough credit bcoz he was Up to Something and got got for it#personally if my entire family was lying to me abt my big bro being alive i would lose my shit. that being said i find it incredibly funny#that everyone who knew violet best were like 'she finds out venin are a thing and she WILL do A Stupid out of righteous fury'#not A Stupid like smthn dumb; A Stupid like lead the entire scribe quadrant to a bloody revolution against Navarre Babel-style#I can't wait for this series to finish publishing so I can sit my ass down and plot out a scribe-revolution-leader-Violet AU#it can even be a viden secret arranged marriage. as a treat. because we need to merge the two rebellions of course#where is tiern in all of this? he got stuck babysitting teen andarna who is Super Mad her rider is a scribe. The Audacity! Navarre Will Pay#teenage dragon shenanigans occur. Scribe Violet bonds two dragons in front of her whole year. they're in the underground scribe library.#how did two enormous-ass lizards get in? nobody gives a shit. all scribes are too sleep-deprieved to care about distinguishing between#real life and halucinations. the dragons stay in the library. they get sat on because it's cold underground and fire lizards are Warm#command tries to find out if smthn weird is happening in the scribe quadrant but at this point every single one of them is in the rebellion#they have 600yrs of misinfo to correct. venin to dissect. what dragons? in the library? don't be ridiculous they'd burn the books#anyways i got carried away but library cats!tiern and andarna#kei writes
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sunday-12-25 · 1 month
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love being crazy. never a dull moment
#its ridiculous how i present myself and my symptoms so neatly sorted VERSUS how i actually experience that shit first-hand#we were doing some grounding safe-space exercise with my doc today n i was you know. imagining the places#n then out of nowhere i saw -her- there. i dont know why it felt so surprising but... she came for me and i was so... touched#like i... think i just... i didnt know she was real? i thought. god this sounds so miserable but i really thought i was making her do this#even though weve been talking for years and shes been my comfort. but i think its cuz she came when i didnt expect her and she just took my#hand and i. i did feel safe#it did feel like a safe space. but then i was so shocked by this whole thing that i forgot why we were even doing this exercise in the firs#place n my doc was like so! what did you see : ) n i know i could. have been quiet but i guess we were trying to mask less and i was still#so shocked that i really just told her. yes doc i... saw a... a friend. shes been with me for a while now but i was still thinking shes jus#a character or something. but she came to me and she told me she cared and im just so happy that shes real bcs i love her#ive loved her and i thought i was making her stay but she wanted to stay with me! bcs she loved me too!!#and i was like trying not to spontaneously cry bcs i legit was NOT expecting any of that. and i was also ... actually i dont think i though#abt it feeling cringe. even tho it. is a little difficult... but i DID think about how strange it felt to be honest abt it with a doctor#bcs its like... with the docs ive had and life in general its always...not about being honest but abt HOW WILL SAYING THIS HELP ME GET X#and yeah i dont trust them. even tho i... trust these doctors i guess. theyve been handling it well for years. they admit the system#still it feels so damn unsafe to mention anything cuz how crazy is TOO crazy for a person with power over you... anyway i do trust the doc#n she knew. but its still weirdddd to mention shit abt it that is not life or death. but it was so out of nowhere and i was so happy like#KATRIN!!! KATRIN SHES REAL!! SHES REAL OH GOD SHES ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME IM GOING TO CRY!!!! WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABT
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