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erimeows · 2 years

Text

Dye

Saeyoung Choi is sick of having red hair.

It’s three in the morning as the redhead stands in front of the mirror in his bathroom, golden eyes tired and body covered in nothing but a black tank-top and matching boxer shorts. He’s exhausted and should really be in bed considering that he has to take Saeran to therapy at eight, but his dreams have rendered him unable to sleep yet again. He drums his fingers against the edge of the marble that lines the counter, his eyes on the two boxes of bleach and the box of toner that are sat there.

There’s a shower cap over his hair, that of which is soaking in a copious amount of coconut oil. It’s been that way for a few hours, just as the tutorial he googled at 12AM told him. As he follows the instructions on the first bottle of bleach to develop it before pulling out his phone and logging into the RFA chatroom.

707 has entered the chatroom.

707: hey guys!

707: guess what

Yoosung☆: What is it Seven?

707: I’M DYEING MY HAIR

Jumin Han: Right now?

Yoosung☆: What color??

707: It’s a surprise!

707: d:

707: You’ll have to catch the glory of it in person next time you see me! I’m still working on it as we speak : D

ZEN: You have such a beautiful natural red that people would kill for and you’re over here dyeing it…

Seven feels his stomach drop at that, a little offended. He’s been wanting to dye his hair for years to escape the striking resemblance he has to his mother. After the new member joined the RFA and everything went to shit, leading to the discovery of Mint Eye and the retrieval of Saeran, things have calmed down somewhat. Saeran is back from the psychiatric ward he was placed in for a few months and is now living along with Seven and Vanderwood in Seven’s large home. The new member has settled into a comfortable romantic relationship with Jaehee (who deserves to be happy after all her years of servitude under Jumin) and helped the former assistant with her new coffee shop. Everything is peaceful and Seven has gotten a lot of closure regarding the situation (minus what has happened with V and Rika, who have been impossible for him to track down), and things are settling.

Seven is ready to escape the past somehow now that things have changed. What better way to do that than to change his classic look?

ZEN: Seven, I sure hope this is just one of your pranks. If not… RIP beautiful red hair T_T

Jumin Han: Seven.

And now Jumin’s there.

Honestly, Seven didn’t expect for the older man to be online so late, but seeing his name pop up on the chat log makes him smile. While the rest of the RFA may see them as nothing more than friends, their relationship crossed into romantic territory a while ago and their one year anniversary is in less than two weeks. They’ve agreed that for both of their safety, it’s best to keep their relationship under wraps until everything settles down and Jumin inherits C&R from Chairman Han, but that doesn’t bother Seven too much. He’s used to keeping secrets, anyhow.

707: YES DADDY!?!??

ZEN: I suddenly feel very nauseous.

Yoosung☆: Same… ew.

Jumin Han: Can I call you?

Seven’s heart skips a beat at that.

707: Yes, daddy (;

Jumin Han: Don’t call me that here. You’re going to disturb the other members.

707: Fine, fine. Master it is, then!

707: Talk to you in a minute then, master Jumin (;

707 has left the chatroom.

Jumin Han has left the chatroom.

Yoosung☆: So are we just going to ignore all of that?

ZEN: For the sake of my sanity and mental health?

ZEN: Yeah

ZEN: We are going to ignore all of it.

Yoosung☆: Ight then ima dip.

Yoosung☆ has left the chatroom.

ZEN has left the chatroom.

Seconds later, Seven’s phone starts to ring. He answers the call, sets it on speaker, and places the device face-up on the bathroom counter. Then, he puts on the gloves that came with the bleach and starts on his hair. Part of him thinks it’ll turn out great. The other part of him suspects that it’ll be ugly or botched enough for him to have to wear a wig over it, especially considering that his glasses are abandoned in his bedroom and he can hardly see anything.

“Jumin, why are you calling this early?” Seven asks and smiles when he hears Jumin’s low, sleepy voice on the other line.

“Is it early or is it late for you, Saeyoung? It sounds as if you’ve been awake all night,” Jumin subtly calls Seven out like he always does.

“You’re not wrong, but why are you awake?”

“Ah… I woke up on my own. I could sense that you were awake, waiting for me.”

Seven chuckles.

“I don’t know if that’s romantic or creepy.”

“Interpret it as you please, but did you mean what you said in the chatroom?”

“What, about calling you master?” Seven snarks with a quirked brow and starts to paint his hair with the bleach solution.

“No, about dyeing your hair.”

“Oh, yeah, no, I was a hundred percent serious! I’m actually doing it right now!”

“What color?”

“White.”

“...In one night? Won’t that damage it severely?”

Admittedly, Jumin has a point. Hair-bleaching is something you should go get done at a salon, and it’s also something you should only do once every few months to avoid damage to your hair. Bleaching it back to back comes with the risk of frying it off. Seven knows that. He just doesn’t care all that much.

“I don’t care if it does. Worst comes to worst, my hair starts falling out or turning brittle so I have to shave my head and wear a wig for a couple of months. I think I’ll live.”

“Alright, then…” Jumin trails off. There’s an awkward few seconds of silence that makes Seven wonder if the older man hung up until he looks down at the screen to see that the call is still going. Finally, Jumin speaks again. “Are you doing okay?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You usually only make sudden, drastic changes to your physical appearance when you’re struggling mentally.”

Seven’s stomach drops at that- mostly because it’s true. He’s done crazy shit to his hair, pierced his own body, and gotten a variety of tattoos when under immense stress. Most of the time, he doesn’t regret any of it, but sometimes… Well, sometimes it’s gone terribly; an infected piercing here, an ugly tattoo there, the occasional hat-over-his-head-for-a-few-months. Still, he tries to deny it, because denying his problems is something that Seven is accustomed to.

“C’mon, Jumin! That’s ridiculous! When have I ever done that?”

“Well… Do you recall illegally buying a tattoo gun to tattoo your own chest a few years back?”

Seven flinches and thinks of touching his chest before realizing that his gloved hands are drenched in hair bleach. Still, he remembers it like yesterday- a shitty hand-done cross with crooked lines that he had to have covered up a few years later. The new piece is nice, the ugly cross turned into a cross-marked gravestone with flowers all over it to cover the bad line-work. Though he wouldn’t say it out loud, he wishes he’d never had any of it done in the first place.

“Yes, yes, I remember! Are you not going to let me live that down?”

“Considering that you cried and squeezed my hand so hard that you nearly broke the bones in it when I took you to go get a cover up done for it last year because of how badly it hurt? No, I’m not.”

“Okay, that was one time when I was like fifteen, and have you ever gotten a tattoo before? Yeah, I didn’t think so! Those bitches hurt!”

Seven can’t help but be defensive about it. After all, his least favorite thing in their relationship is when Jumin tries to scold and parent him like he’s a child. It’s embarrassing, especially coming from someone who didn’t have to grow up nearly as fast as he did- from someone who was handed a kind father and an entire empire from the very start instead of the shit hand that Seven got. And it’s true that Jumin is a responsible adult, much more responsible than Seven, but still. Seven is a prideful man who hates feeling like he’s being talked down to.

“Alright, fine. How about the instance a couple years ago where you got snake bite piercings done on your tongue and complained afterwards because you couldn’t eat solid food for a week?”

Seven’s frustration quickly builds. Jumin won’t just drop the issue, nor will Jumin allow him so much as a moment to defend himself.

“That was-”

“And when you were eighteen and got gauges in your ears that you tried to upgrade too fast to the point where you had a gauge blowout?”

“Jumin, that’s different!” Seven exclaims.

“You still hide your ears with your hair because of that. Your earlobes are deformed around the holes because of it and they won’t close back. It’s serious,” Jumin continues, going on and on. Seven’s eyes flicker to the mirror and land on his ears, which are- as Jumin said- incredibly scarred and misshapen around the perimeter of his gauges. “And I know you haven’t changed since then, either. Right after we brought Saeran back, you went and pierced your own belly button and it still hasn’t fully healed. Remember when you had to take antibiotics for the infection that gave you?”

“I thought you said it looked good!”

“It does look good now that it’s not red and oozing with puss from a localized bacterial infection. I never said I didn’t like any of the things I’ve mentioned, just that they’ve been rash decisions made under intense stress that you’ve complained about or suffered because of later. I don’t want you going and dyeing your hair only to hate it or risk burning your scalp with bleach, but since you’ve already started the process, I suppose I can’t stop you… Saeyoung, you really need to go to a professional next time.”

“Really? You’re going to judge me for this?”

“I’m not judging you, I’m concerned. There’s a difference.”

“Fine, Jumin… If you’re going to be like that-”

“Saeyoung,” Jumin cuts him off once more, but this time, his tone is much softer. The tension seeps from Seven’s body as the ravenette tries to calm him down. “I’m not judging you. What you’re doing is an unhealthy coping mechanism of yours and I’m trying to make you aware of it so you don’t go and do it again. I’ll stop talking about it if it’s upsetting you so much, but please bring it up to your therapist at your next appointment and get her input.”

“Yeah, okay,” Seven replies. He’s sure it sounds sarcastic, because in all honesty, he didn’t want to hear any of the rants that Jumin just went on about his bad coping mechanisms. Part of getting closer to the RFA and maintaining close personal relationships is accepting concern from others, though, even if it’s expressed in a way that he doesn’t always like. “...Thank you for worrying.”

“What’s got you so stressed out?”

“Who said I’m stressed out?”

“Well, you’re up past three in the morning dyeing your hair. You know you can tell me, Saeyoung.”

Seven sighs and finishes covering his hair in the bleach, careful to cover it so the color develops properly. Then, he answers Jumin’s question while disposing of his gloves and sitting on the bathroom counter.

“It’s Saeran… He was doing pretty good for a few week stint there, going on walks with me and coming out for meals, but he’s been getting bad again over the last couple days and I’m scared he’s going into a depressive episode. Any time I go to check on him he ignores me or tells me to go away.”

“Can you not just go into his room?”

And of course Jumin would say that because he doesn’t understand being mentally ill- at least not in the way that Saeran is. Since the younger man has moved in with Seven, it’s been a relief, but it’s also been difficult. Between making sure Saeran eats, drinks, showers, and goes to therapy, Seven is starting to crumble. On top of that, following RFA’s party, he hasn’t been able to track down V or RIka- so God knows what they’re up to.

“Not really? It’s a fine balance, you know! That’s his safe space, I don’t want to invade it unless it’s a life or death situation,” Seven explains. He remembers clearing out his old work room and setting it up for Saeran before he came home from the psychiatric ward. It looks completely different with a brand new bed, a desk, a television, bookshelves, and curtains that weren’t there before. Unfortunately, even though Seven offered to take Saeran to buy decorations and help him personalize it, Saeran hasn’t taken him up on the offer. So, the room has remained incredibly bland and bleak. “I told him that the room I gave him is his to decorate and live in as he pleases and that I won’t go in there without his permission. Plus, he’s an adult… He’s capable of making his own decisions! I can’t infantalize him just because he’s struggling with his mental health. I mean, I’m almost as bad as he is, I just… He’s been through more, and he hasn’t had the chance to really live as his own person- as an adult- like I have.”

“I don’t think it’s fair to either of you for you to compare traumas. Don’t think like that.”

Suddenly, the conversation is far too tense and far more personal than it should be. Seven is at a point where he doesn’t really need to do anything but wait for a half hour to wash the bleach out of his hair, but he figures he can use it as an excuse to hang up on his overly-concerned boyfriend.

“You’re right. Well, I’m going to get off here and finish my hair! I’m pretty sure by the time it develops and everything, I’ll have to take Saeran to his weekly therapy session, so I’ve gotta haul ass.”

“Alright, then. I look forward to seeing how it turns out,” Jumin responds. Seven can hear his smile through the phone. “I love you, Saeyoung.”

“I love you, too… Jumin. Go back to bed and get some rest if you can.”

“I’ll try. Talk to you soon, then.”

Then, Jumin hangs up, leaving Seven with no one but himself and this bleached hair that he’s sure to regret.

Somehow, with enough bleach, a shit ton of toner, and probably a pound of coconut oil, Seven manages to get his hair bright white without making it fall out. Unfortunately, it leaves him with so little time that he can’t even spare half an hour to get a nap in. When he approaches Saeran’s door around 7AM, he’s exhausted and a little loopy.

He knocks, his fist lightly tapping the wood three times. No response. After a couple minutes, he knocks again. Still no response.

“Saeran, are you awake?” Seven asks, to which Saeran snaps at him.

“What do you want?”

“We need to go to your therapy appointment! C’mon, let’s go- we’re gonna be late if we don’t leave in the next ten minutes!”

“I already texted my therapist,” Seven’s stomach drops at those words. It makes sense that Saeran wants to skip after the decline he’s had over the past few days. It’s frustrating. All he wants is for Saeran to feel better and it just can’t happen fast enough. “I’m not going today.”

“What? Saeran, we talked about this! You can’t just skip therapy because you don’t feel like going- hell, the times you don’t want to go are the times you need to the most! You have to be consistent if you want to feel better,” The words are met with silence. Seven lets out a groan. Sometimes, he wishes Saeran would argue or scream or hit rather than just close himself off entirely. Part of him wants nothing more than for Saeran to take out all of the pent up sorrow and rage he’s been bottling up on him. But it doesn’t work like that, and neither does Saeran. The only thing that will make things better is time and effort, and Seven knows that. He has to be patient. “Okay, fine. Did you at least schedule a virtual appointment for today.”

“No.”

Seven frowns and holds his head in his hands. His long, shaky fingers tangle in his hair. The wavy locks are totally fried.

“Okay, did you take your meds?”

“No, now fuck off!”

“Wow, um… Sure, I guess! I’m going out for a bit,” Seven says and clears his throat. He’s embarrassed, uncomfortable, and confused. He’s tried to do everything right, but he can’t make Saeran happy by himself and it’s killing him. “Vanderwood’s here if you need anything, or if you don’t feel comfortable asking him, you can just call me. I love you!”

Seven receives no response. Dejected, he decides he’ll at least try to get out of the house. Maybe seeing Zen will lift his spirits…

Zen is working on a new movie, so Seven goes to see the actor on set whenever it’s time for his lunch break. How he gets in without clearance, none of them need to know. He knocks on the door of Zen’s large dressing room and barges in before he gets an answer. Zen, who is sitting at the vanity doing his makeup, spins around in his chair after nearly jabbing his eye out with an eyeliner pencil to face Seven with a pointed look.

“Zen!” Seven greets excitedly and stands in the doorway.

“Wow, Seven! I didn’t recognize you for a second there, uh,” Zen looks a little guilty, but that doesn’t stop him from saying the following words as he points to Seven’s hair. “Please tell me that’s a wig.”

“No, it’s not! I dyed it, remember?” Seven reminds him, just hoping that he forgot the conversation from the chatroom last night. Though, he suspects that Zen remembers and just hates how it looks. “C’mon, don’t tell me it’s that bad!”

“It’s not bad, per say… Just doesn’t work with your skin tone. I liked the red a lot better.”

At that, Seven sighs and tries to change the subject. So Zen doesn’t like his hair. With such a sudden change, and with Zen being so particular about beauty, it makes sense. So what? Surely, someone else will like it. Despite the awkward feelings of hurt and rejection that swirl around in the pit of his stomach, Seven plasters on a smile and asks Zen about his upcoming role.

That night is LOLOL night with Yoosung. Seven almost forgets that it’s happening until he’s reminded with an ‘omw’ text from Yoosung half an hour before it’s supposed to start. He panics and thinks of just canceling it, citing some fake illness or emergency, but then he remembers that Yoosung is one of the few people who can actually get Saeran out of his room. So, he sends back a simple text saying ‘okay’, sets up snacks and drinks at the coffee table, gets his PC set up in the living room, and shoots Saeran a text to let him know that Yoosung will be there.

Right around eight, Yoosung shows up. Seven answers the door and excitedly greets his good friend while leaning against the doorway.

“Hey, Yoosung, you ready for LOLOL night? I’ve got Honey Buddha chips and PHD Pepper set up at the coffee table and-!”

“Seven, what’d you do to your hair?” Yoosung asks with wide violet eyes as he reaches forward and touches one of the dry, bright white strands.

“I dyed it last night, remember? Pretty snazzy, huh? What do you think?”

“No offense, but it looks pretty weird on you! Can’t say I ever expected you to go white,” Yoosung mutters and walks past Seven and into the living room. Seven shuts and locks the door behind them, then goes with Yoosung to the living room couch. The two men sit together with Yoosung still talking about Seven’s new look as he digs his own laptop out of his school backpack. “You even did your brows! You really gotta give us a warning, man, I thought I was having an aneurysm or something when I saw you with white hair!”

“...Huh,” Seven disguises a frown with a fake smile, nothing new. He expected Zen to dislike his new hair, but Yoosung, too? It makes him anxious. If those two have already reacted so badly (i.e. clearly being taken aback and not liking it, but trying to feign that it’s not terrible even though they clearly think it is), what will Jaehee, Jumin, and Saeran say when they see it? “Well, that aside, have you made any progress on that game event yet?”

“Oh, yeah, that reminds me! I…”

Yoosung opens his laptop to show Seven his progress on the event, excitedly rambling with a grin that Seven can’t help but find endearing- a grin that Saeran would find endearing, too, if he would’ve responded to Seven’s text and surfaced from his room instead of leaving the former agent on read.

Seven opens his laptop as well, and with that, LOLOL night starts- even without Saeran.

Saeran never does surface from his room for LOLOL night, much to Seven’s surprise. He figures that the younger man’s depression must be pretty bad right now, but at the very least, there’s signs that he’s alive (the occasional shuffling noise, leaving Seven’s texts on read, etc.), so Seven is relieved.

Still, he’s worried, and he misses his little brother’s face. With Yoosung’s presence not working to draw Saeran out, and with Seven’s attempts at texting Saeran or visiting his room working to draw Saeran out, he decides he’ll do the next best thing; lure Saeran out with ice cream and coffee. Having not seen the former assistant in a while anyway, Seven goes to Jaehee’s coffee shop.

When Seven opens the front door, a bell rings. Jaehee, whose hair has grown out to her shoulders, rushes to the counter. Though there are plenty of people seated in the cafe who are enjoying their drinks and sweet treats, no one is in line, so Seven approaches the register to talk to her.

“Jaehee, how are ya?” He asks, but he doesn’t get an answer- instead, he gets a comment (or a few) about his newly dyed hair.

“Oh my, Seven… You’ve dyed your hair,” Jaehee reaches out with her perfectly manicured, coffee-brown finger nails. The paint on them is glossy and covered in a light sheen of glitter clear coat. It’s clear that she wants to touch Seven’s hair, but she doesn’t, probably realizing just how impolite it is. Jaehee allows her hands to fall to her side as she continues. “I saw that you’d mentioned it in the chat room the other night, but I honestly thought it was just one of your pranks. Is that permanent dye, or…?”

“It is,” Seven nods. “I guess you’re the only one who hasn’t seen it yet, huh?”

“It’s quite… Different,” Jaehee says with a forced smile, to which Seven gasps and exclaims-

“Oh, come on, Jaehee, don’t tell me you hate it too!”

“No, no, I think you did a good job,” Jaehee frantically rushes to correct herself, even if it’s already too late. It’s obvious that she doesn’t like it, just like Zen and Yoosung. “It’ll just take some getting used to. It works for you, really.”

“...Thanks,” “Can I just get a large caramel frappe, a pint of the homemade vanilla bean ice cream, and a medium iced mocha with a breakfast sandwich to go?”

“Of course,” Jaehee nods, but doesn’t ring anything up. She turns to make the drinks, grab the breakfast sandwich from the warmer, and remove a pint of her homemade ice cream from the small freezer behind the counter. She slides everything forward to Seven with the drinks in a carrier, a smile on her face. “Here you go.”

“How much? You forgot to ring me up.”

Jaehee shakes her head.

“It’s on the house. Tell Saeran and Vanderwood that I said hello.”

“Will do,” Seven grins back and takes the items, ready to head home to his brother and former handler with the treats. “See ya later!”

Upon arriving home, Seven labels the medium iced mocha and the paper wrapper that covers the breakfast sandwich with Vanderwood’s name and a little note so he can put them in the fridge for the older man to have whenever he returns from whatever it is he’s out doing. Next, carries the pint of homemade vanilla bean ice cream and the large caramel frappe along with a spoon to Saeran’s bedroom door.

“Hey, little bro,” Seven knocks. “You holding up okay in there?”

“Don’t call me that… And I’m fine, leave me alone.”

“Saeran… I want you to be happy, but I can’t let you stay in that room forever. I’m starting to get worried about you,” Seven insists as if he isn’t already worried about Saeran when, honestly, he’s worried to death.

“I said to leave me alone!” Saeran yells back.

“Please, Saeran, it’s been days! When’s the last time you’ve eaten? Please, just talk to me… All I want to do is help…” Seven trails off, then sighs. A pit of sadness pools in the bottom of his stomach as tears fill his golden eyes. “Look, you don’t have to come all the way out, and you don’t have to let me in, but I brought you breakfast from Jaehee. I even got you your favorite coffee and something sweet so you’d eat. Just come open the door enough to grab it from me, you don’t have to do anything else. I promise.”

“And you’re not going to drag me out or try to force your way in?”

“Of course not,” Seven relents, as tempting as the idea is. “I want you to trust me.”

“Fine, give me a sec,” Seven hears some shuffling, which is followed by footsteps. The door opens and Saeran is on the other side, matching eyes bloodshot and tired, white and red hair matted, and skin pale. It looks like he’s lost a few pounds, but he’s alive, and he’s okay. Seven expects Saeran to snatch the ice cream and the coffee out of his hands, which does happen, but it’s not immediately followed by Saeran slamming the door shut. Instead, Saeran looks up at him as if he’s grown another head. “...You dyed your hair. Why? Why the fuck did you dye your hair?”

Saeran doesn’t look like he hates it, at least not immediately. He just appears curious. Seven smiles and starts to explain.

“I was getting sick of the red… Makes me look too much like Mom, y’know. It sucks hating what’s in the mirror just because of the past.”

“Okay, but why did you make it the same color as mine?” Saeran asks with narrowed eyes.

“It looked good on you- thought it’d look good on me, too,” Seven explains.

“It looks stupid. You should’ve gone pink or black or something… Would’ve suited you more.”

The words hurt more than they should. It’s just hair dye. Seven likes it, he’s liked it since he did it. But everyone else’s opinions matter to him more than they should, and his feelings are hurt, especially when Saeran slams the door shut in his face with not another word.

“...At this point, I’m not even surprised anymore,” Seven deadpans and turns to walk down the hallway and back to his own bedroom. “Oh well.”

“Seven,” Vanderwood greets lowly. He almost walks right past Seven, at least until he stops in his tracks and stares down at the younger man with a baffled expression. “What the hell is going on with your hair?”

“Don’t even ask, Vanderwood, I’m not in the mood.”

WIth that, Seven storms off to his bedroom, so frustrated with the reactions he’s gotten to his new hair that he decides he’ll just have to cut it all off.

~~~

That night, Jumin stays over. Seven supposes he didn’t think it through very well, but as soon as the older man fell asleep, he finds himself sneaking to the master bathroom. Leaving the door unlocked, he flicks on the lights, plugs in his electric razor, and grabs a pair of hair scissors from the drawer. He’ll have to cut off all the longer parts, then tackle what’s left with the razor. After that, he’ll wear a wig for a few weeks until it grows back red- the only color that looks good on him, apparently.

To his surprise, though, despite Jumin having an incredibly long work day, he wakes up and walks into the bathroom to lean back against the wall. Seven sees him, not because he turns around, but because the ravenette aligns perfectly with the mirror that Seven is currently using as visual aid while he holds the scissors up to the first strand he plans to cut off.

“Saeyoung,” Jumin starts, voice groggy. He’s dressed in his blue and white striped satin pajamas, fully finished with that silly pajama hat that Seven makes fun of every once in a blue moon. His dark eyes are full of sleep and his long arms are crossed over his narrow chest. “What exactly are you doing?”

“Cutting my hair.”

“Why? I thought you trimmed the ends when you dyed it last week.”

“I did.”

“Then why are you cutting it now?”

“Honestly, Jumin, I don’t want to talk about it,” Seven frowns. The thought of how everyone- Zen, Yoosung, Saeran, Vanderwood, and Jaehee- reacted to his new hairstyle, it bothers him. As used as he is to them teasing him for his weird personality and silly jokes, he doesn’t like it when his appearance is judged like this, even if they don’t mean to offend him. “Please just let me shave my hair off in peace.”

“...Saeyoung, put the scissors down for a moment and listen to me,” Jumin sighs, and Seven listens. He sets the hair scissors down on top of the bathroom counter and turns around to face his lover. “I don’t know what inner turmoil you’re going through, and I don’t know what you’re thinking right now. What I do know is you’re stressed, which is probably why you made such a big change in the first place… But I like it. I think you did an excellent job with your hair. Please, don’t cut it off just because everyone else is struggling to get used to it.”

“Jumin, everyone hates it! I’ve had multiple people tell me it looks weird or stupid since I did it, and I know they’re not wrong. At this point, I may as well just chop the shit off and start over.”

“That’s a terrible idea and you know it, because if you cut it off, tomorrow you’re going to be complaining that you’re bald,” Jumin points out, and it’s true. Even if he wears a wig for a while, he’ll hate the way he looks without it; he’s tried shaving his head a handful of times and it never looks proper because of his head shape. “It looks fine, you can’t blame everyone for struggling to adjust to it. After all, we’ve only ever seen you with bright red hair before this- minus the occasional wig. Give it a few more weeks. If you don’t like it after that, you can dye it back to what it was or dye it another color, or even shave your head if you so please. Just don’t go and make a rash decision about your appearance because things haven’t been going well lately.”

“...You’re right,” Seven admits and reaches out to unplug the electric razor. “But you should probably hide the scissors and the razor from me for at least a month. I may get tempted when you’re not here to stop me.”

“Fine. I can do that much after you fall asleep tonight.”

“Thanks.”

Seven moves to push past Jumin and go back to the bedroom to sleep with his sad, ugly white hair, only to get caught by the wrist. He looks over his shoulder and sees Jumin staring down at him with a small smile.

“Saeyoung, wait,” Jumin murmurs and leans down to press a kiss into his hair. Seven’s heart skips a beat at the gesture of affection. “I do mean what I said. You look beautiful. I love the white more than I thought I would when you told me about it over the phone.”

“Thanks, Jumin,”

“Hey, I have an idea,”

“And what would that be?”

“...Got any more of that bleach? Perhaps a makeover for me would distract the RFA from your new look.”

At that, Seven smiles and starts to dig through his bathroom cabinet for the last bottle of bleach.

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natasha-in-space · 2 years

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✧ Masterlist ✧

Masterlist gets updated frequently, but do let me know if you can't find something <3

Tumblr limits the amount of links to a singular post, so the masterlist will be split in multiple posts!

P. 2

~ Masterlist of ongoing longfics ~

Saeran:

✿ A Crimson Rose (Suit!Saeran/gn!reader);

✿ Pocket Suit Saeran au (Suit!Saeran/cmc: Natasha Stakh);

✿ Here With You (VAE!Ray/gn!reader);

✿ Vampire!Suit Saeran Drabble (Suit!Saeran/cmc: Natasha Stakh);

✿ A family get-together (GE!Saeran/gn!reader);

✿ From the Ashes into the Light (VAE!Ray and VAE!Saeran/cmc: Natasha Stakh) - series;

✿ Shared Struggle (SE!Saeran/Self Insert) TW;

✿ Fried Food (Unknown/gn!reader);

✿ Saeran's favourite places to kiss his SO;

✿ Saeran having triplets;

✿ Saeran with a SO that is a business analyst;

✿ Saeran with a SO that is an athlete;

✿ Saeran's kid decides to become a hipster;

✿ Giving a gift to Ray;

✿ Unknown with an affectionate and cuddly assistant;

✿ Sweet Beginning (Ray/cmc Lila Lancelot);

✿ GE Saeran celebrating your birthday;

✿ Old Melody Sang Anew (SE!Saeran/cmc Natasha Stakh);

✿ Secluded Waltz (Ray/gn!reader);

✿ Looking at the Stars (Suit!Saeran/cmc Natasha Stakh);

✿ Safe and Sound (GE!Saeran/gn!reader) TW;

✿ Planting flowers with Ray;

✿ Saeran as fairytale and mythical creatures

✿ Fractured Heart (Unknown/cmc Natasha Stakh) - series;

✿ High Enough (Unknown/gn!reader);

✿ GE!Saeran comforting mc that's struggling with abandonment issues;

✿ Show & Tell (Unknown/gn!reader/Zen) CW

Saeyoung:

☆ Mundane Troubles (Saeyoung/gn!reader);

☆ Saeyoung comforting you after failing an exam;

☆ Saeyoung comforting you when you're sick;

☆ Stargazing with Saeyoung;

☆ Saeyoung motivating you to study;

☆ First date with Saeyoung;

☆ Playing with Saeyoung's hair;

☆ Saeyoung with a SO who's a computer programmer;

☆ Saeyoung comforting a SO who's struggling with chronic pain/chronic illness;

☆ Saeyoung celebrating you passing an exam;

☆ Having an argument with Saeyoung;

☆ Saeyoung wishing you a happy birthday as soon as it hits midnight;

☆ Play fighting with Saeyoung;

☆ Confessing to Saeyoung in school (set in canon timeline)

☆ Cruel Miracle (Saeyoung/gn!reader);

☆ Saeyoung with mc who's struggling with social anxiety;

☆ Thoughts on Saeyoung's trauma with the agency;

☆ Bringing a puppy to Saeyoung

Jaehee:

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Cookies and Cupcakes (Jaehee/gn!reader);

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Christmas Reminiscing (Jaehee/gn!reader);

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Dance with Me (Jaehee/gn!reader);

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ You and Jaehee getting a sphinx kitty who loves her a bit too much

Rika:

✦ A Snowy Play Fight (Rika/gn!reader);

✦ 2022 Rika's birthday CG analysis;

✦ A Wilted Daffodil (Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee) - series;

✦ Overall personal thoughts on Rika and her complexity

Vanderwood:

๑ Vanderwood bonding with the Choi twins drabble;

๑ Vanderwood with a SO who's the opposite of them;

๑ A Playful Afternoon (Vanderwood/gn! reader)

Yoosung:

* Yoosung with a SO that is a pet groomer;

* Yoosung with a blasian SO TW;

* Yoosung's kid turns out to be a major animal-lover;

* Yoosung and mc who has an allergy to dog/cat hair;

* Yoosung's family reaction to his eye injury;

* Discussing how Yoosung and Matsuda from Death Note would be great buddies;

* Meeting Yoosung after knowing him in high school;

* Thoughts on Yoosung going through therapy

Jihyun:

𖤓 Jihyun going through therapy;

𖤓 New Tomorrow (Jihyun/gn!reader);

𖤓 Jihyun with a mc who's similar to him

Jumin:

ᗢ Jumin going through therapy;

ᗢ Jumin with a SO from Daegu;

ᗢ Jumin with a SO who's a famous idol

Zen:

⟡ Zen confessing his love to you;

⟡ Zen with a disabled mc

Headcanons:

Random headcanons that live in my head rent-free;

Cuddling headcanons for the whole mm gang;

Choi twins comforting a SO that is struggling after the death of a loved one TW;

Mystic Messenger gang as Disney Prince's;

Jumin, Jihyun and Rika with a SO that they've met before during their childhood;

RFA + Minor Trio as trainer classes in a Pokemon au;

Mystic Messenger gangs professions in a Stardew Valley au;

Zen and Jaehee comforting their child who is struggling with workaholism;

Yooseven headcanons;

RFA + V and GE!Saeran with a cheerleader SO;

Warrior Cats/Mystic Messenger au brainrot;

Picking up the entire Mystic Messenger gang headcanons;

RFA as fairytale and mythical creatures;

Jumin and Saeran soulmate au drabbles;

RFA + minor trio with a punk mc;

Engagement rings headcanons;

RFA + Saeran with mc who's studying to be a veterinary neurologist;

RFA + V and Saeran making you gingerbread cookies;

Analyzing Yoosung's and Saeran's relationship after Yoosung's good ending;

RFA + Jihyun with the child that grows up to be 'daddy's kid';

MM gang as Sailor Moon characters

Events:

Mysme-fictober 2022

Mystictober 2022

Cmc info-sheets:

✽ Natasha Stakh (Saeran's cmc);

❦ Chaewon Lee (Rika's cmc)

#masterlist

62 notes · View notes

mc-and-elise · 2 years

Text

I'm replaying Seven's route AGAIN and I'm on day 10, and something finally dawned on me after all this time.

When Vanderwood mistakes Saeran for Seven and kidnaps him, I can only imagine part of Saeran is pure panic. "Who is this guy, isn't he Luciel's assistant, why won't he listen to me, what's happening, who is his boss oh no please no don't be him please don't be my father I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die-"

His entire life, he's known Saejoong has been hunting he and his brother down to erase them. Saeran even mentions when Saeyoung and you confront him at Mint Eye that he thought his father caught Saeyoung and that his brother was dead until he discovered his twin was alive and had changed his name. Being held at gunpoint and forced into a car is scary for anyone, but for the twins?

It's their worst nightmare. It means their father has finally caught up to them, that they won't live to see another day, that Saejoong was going to make his 'mistakes' disappear for good. Because let's face it- Saejoong and his men have likely known where their house was, but couldn't act on it without a good reason. They know Mother Choi lives there, but what if the twins are hidden elsewhere? If they caught one boy leaving that house, it means the other is inside.

Saeran wasn't only angry that he was mistaken for Saeyoung or scared as he had been kidnapped before by Mint Eye- he was living his worst nightmare come to life.

#mystic messenger #saeran choi #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger saeyoung #mystic messenger seven #mystic messenger unknown #seven's route #don't mind me #just overanalyzing things #probably

35 notes · View notes

rfaromance · 8 months

Text

Gonna fight impostor syndrome with 3 things I'm comfortable with!

Rika requests! Rika requests and drabbles will get top priority right now. I truly, sincerely feel she is the character I understand best.

Saeyoung/707 requests! Right after Rika, I feel most comfortable with him (and he's the loml)

CMC stuff! I may post some drabbles about my CMCs and more factual info about them? I've been insecure about my OCs lately, so fleshing out my established CMCs (or writing what I already have had in mind for months, if not years) will help that.

If you want to ask for 1 or 2, go for it! I'll do these quickly and enthusiastically.

In the meantime, I think I want to write about "first meetings" with some of my more obscure CMC lore. Any preference?

#mod mumbles #mystic messenger

2 notes · View notes

unwillingwriter · 1 year

Text

☆5&1 (Jumciel)✮

Author: 707 tells Jumin he loves him unintentionally 5 times. Extra belongs to Jumin who means it. Seven means it too.

Warnings: Light Smut, Gun, Blood, Close to Death.

Paring: Jumin X Seven

Published Also On AO3

Fandom: MysticMessenger

A/N: Rusty As Heck with writing.

Jumin was pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation as he listened to Seven's laughter over the phone, keeping said device meters away from his ear– still being able to hear the redhead loud and clear. Jaehee- Assistant Kang had excused herself from the premises when Luciel called, mentioning she had something to do. Jumin should've known that she knew something by how fast she left the room when she saw Mr. Han's phone brightened with the Caller ID “707”.

When Jumin was sure that Seven was done with his overly loud laughter he pressed the phone against his ear once again ready to speak to the man who wouldn't stop laughing for the last 5 MINUTES!

It's a miracle that the redhead hadn’t passed out from all the air he let out, not once taking a second to catch his breath, seeming to be too engaged with tormenting the millionaire.

“Are you–”

“HAAAAAA!!! ACK!.” Luciel wheezed loudly, his breath hitting the speaker of the phone making the CEO cringe, his patients thinning.

“Luciel…” his voice lowered, his head beginning to pound. Ready to tell Seven to cease his laughter till a loud thud and crash was heard on the other side along with a clatter-- meaning Luciel had most likely dropped his phone in the process in whatever just happened.

Jumin opened his onyx eyes, finally, his brows narrowing with annoyance and a slight concern for the hacker.

“Luciel?.” Jumin could still hear the hacker laughing, sounding a bit further away and kinda muffled.

The CEO rubs his face, dropping his cheek into his hand.

‘I’m about to commit an offense…’

Jumin sighs as he listens to the hacker laugh, raising a brow when he hears another voice asking Seven why he was on the floor.

Another 5 minutes passed till Luciel FINALLY stopped laughing and seemed to pick up his phone small chuckles coming through his mic.

In those added 5 minutes Jumin managed to do some work on the cat project he was trying to push through trying to sway his father to the best of his ability. If the countless women in his life could do it then his son can as well.

“Okay, okay I'm back– hehe~” the hacker snickered into the phone. Jumin had put him on speaker so he could know when the hacker finally came back. Jumin places his pen down on the desk giving the other male his full attention.

“What happened?.”

“Oh I was laughing because –.”

“Not!, not that part yet. I'm asking what that sound was just now?.”

“Eh?.”

Jumin felt his eye twitch.

“Luciel…”

Seven chuckled.

“Okay okay. Jumin Han everyone, one of the rare people who can tell I'm lying– Anywho~~.”

Rare?.

“I leaned a little too far back in my computer chair and fell, bringing an old monitor of mine down with me. So you heard three things– wait no! Four things if you count my phone– which is sadly cracked– ack!-- I had just fixed the screen too three weeks ago from when Ms. Vanderwood threw it…”

Jumin could tell Seven wasn't talking to him when he reached a certain section of his sentence– he was mumbling to himself.

Why would his maid throw his phone?

“Agggh!!!- sorry that was off-topic please ignore whatever else I said. Please?. Hmm… Now where was I? Ah! Yes yes yes! Silly me~~ I did hit my head pretty hard… You heard my heavy ass hit the floor along with the chair– that's two– my ten-thousand-dollar-old monitor and my phone. Funny isn't it? Hehe~”

Jumin blinked twice before gathering his thoughts.

“Are you okay?.” he questioned.

Luciel let out a dramatic gasp.

“Awe JuJu~ are worried about little ol’ me?.” Luciel teased laughing to himself.

“Yes,” Jumin spoke bluntly, his voice never losing its natural stern.

The line was quiet. Too quiet that Jumin thought 707 hung up without him noticing somehow.

“Yes Jumin I'm fine thanks for the concern– eh?-- no, huh?-- ah! Okay Okay sheesh just give me a second – no! Jeez, just give me a second.” Luciel spoke at a fast pace, making the director more confused.

Who was he talking to? His maid maybe?

But why did he sound as if he was trying to buy–

“Sorry to cut this conversation short Jumin but–.”

“You were laughing for a long time.” he cut in but Seven kept talking.

“--I have to go, duty calls like always, of course, you would understand how that is– anyway bye Jumin I love you!!.” Seven said in his cheery voice before hanging up completely.

“Luciel–” and he was gone.

Jumin moved the phone close to him looking down at the screen. He didn't even get to ask him why he was laughing in the first place and why he called.

Jumin breathes out his nose. His mind swirls with thoughts till something comes to him.

Seven told him he loves him.

Maybe.

Maybe it could've been a slip-up.

Commoners who are friends tell each other they love them. Jumins not gonna think too deeply about it.

Jumin was rather annoyed, he finally understood why Seven had called him laughing a month ago. Today was Jumins birthday and his employees have decided to throw him a small birthday party— oh how he wishes it wasn’t…. Jumin stared down at the cake before him.

It was a red velvet cake— one of his favorite pastry’s out there. There was an image of him on it.

He was falling.

He remembers this day it was the day Seven had called him laughing four hours later after the incident happened.

But it wasn’t the fact that the picture is what annoyed him, it was the words on it. The Fonts were ones of a meme as Seven and Yoosung have explained to him countless times.

‘When your Crush is walking By and you can’t help but fall harder.’

It was such a wretched quote that it made him feel off.

He wanted to throw it away… But instead, he let everyone be and have a slice of cake.

After having a long day at work and finally giving assistant Kang a day off that she deserves. Jumin drops his butt on the couch in his penthouse. His phone rang in his pocket.

He just sat down…

Jumin bit back a frustrated sigh. Nothing good comes out of complaining.

The ravenette takes his phone out of his pocket looking at the ID.

‘707’

The CEO presses the phone against his ear after answering it.

“Hello?, Luciel?.”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! God, you're old!.”

That… Was unexpected but also– expected?.

“Don't remind me…” he mumbled, undoing his tie.

“Awww… Why so glum JuJu?.”

“I'm not dreary, I'm just tired,” he answered, a little too fast and defensive for his taste.

“Is it because I called you old? If so I was just teasing you I swear– you don't look a day over 25!.” the hacker cheered, Jumin could hear a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

“I already got called old by Yoosung, trust me you calling me old doesn't phase me either,” he says simply, taking off his blazer and setting it over the couch.

“Okay back to my first question then– why so dreary? as you put it in your fancy wording.”

“Luciel I'm not –.”

“You're a good businessman but suck at lying when it's not to another corporate face.”

Jumin stops moving around the room for a second. His hand fiddled with his watch as he had the phone tucked between his ear and shoulder.

Suck at lying?. He's not lying– at least he doesn't think he is…

Sure he keeps to himself and gives vague responses in the RFA chat to the members but it doesn't mean he's lying.

Jumin must have been too deep in his head since he came back to Seven’s voice ringing a little louder in his ears.

“Jumin? Oh Juju~ Jumi?, JumJum? Cat lover? Prince of the Han Family? H–.”

“I'm here!.” he responds feeling rather… Flustered? At the prince part.

He blames his ears for feeling red due to the heat of his phone.

“There's the birthday boy!.” Seven cheered, Jumin could imagine the smile of the redhead.

He rolled his eyes half-heartedly as he continued trying to get comfortable in his own home slowly stripping.

“Mmm…”

“Anywho back to our original convo~~ why is the great Jumin Han upset?.”

“Seven I'm not–.”

“It has something to do with your father, doesn't it?.”

Jumin shuts his mouth, setting his shoes in the closet.

His silence was his answer.

After a few seconds passed.

Luciel sighs on the other end.

“Of course, it does, when doesn't it? Let me guess he didn't take you out today to celebrate?.”

Jumin hated this.

“God, no disrespect to you or anything but your father is an asshole, Mr. Han.”

It's weird to hear Luciel call him that.

“Luciel, it's not a big deal, we're both grown men. It was a childish want.” Jumin had responded neutrally, at least he thought it was neutral…

To Seven it sounded defensive.

“It is natural for a parent's child to want to celebrate their birthday with them. It's not childish.”

Jumin remained silent as he dressed in his pajamas walking to the kitchen to make himself tea. Setting the phone down and putting it on speaker.

“Hmm…”

Jumim sets the kettle in the sink, filling it with water.

“How about we go out today?.” Seven asked.

Jumin glances at his phone.

“Maybe to a fancy restaurant?, oooo or a diner I could show you one of THHHEEE BEST burger joints ever!.”

“I don’t feel like going out.”

“Come ooonnn~”

“I’m busy-.”

“That could be tomorrow Jumins problem, right now birthday Jumin NEEDS to have fun.”

“But Elizabeth—.”

“Will survive without you— if she can handle you being gone all day for work she can handle you being gone for a couple of more hours. Come on Jumin, I'm not letting you sulk on your birthday.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“Really now?.”

“Yes.”

“Then you won’t have a problem with going out with me.” Luciel said his voice filled with determination.

“Seven it’s not necessary—.”

The line makes a beep sound. Indicating the call has ended.

Jumins eyes widened, turning around quickly from the stove.

He didn’t!.

He looked at his phone.

He did!.

Irritation filled Jumin.

That boy has a knack for being stubborn. Then again so did everyone else in the RFA.

Around an hour, Jumins door burst open, making the older male stand straight up from his couch.

His onyx eyes automatically recognized the head of red hair that seemed to be occupied being squished down by a bowler hat.

Luciel was breathing heavily, his skin pale as he tried catching his breath.

Jumin couldn’t help but take in his appearance.

Luciel was wearing a velvet red tuxedo, his tie surprisingly matching Jumin's hundreds of gray ties.

In a way, Jumin couldn’t help but find it… amusing. Seven was never one to wear a suit, not even at the RFA parties— the most he’d put on his dress shoes, suspenders, and a dress shirt with a brown cheetah print tie to try and match his glasses. Speaking of glasses he wasn’t wearing his usual ones he was wearing red ones to match his tux with a hint of gold on the frames. The bowler hat matched the tie.

Jumin was pulled out of his inner monologue from his young friend's voice.

“Tada! Don’t I look dashing? That’s the word?— Jesus Christ, there were so many stairs… Why didn’t I just take the elevator?…” the hacker wheezed.

The little geniuses took the stairs.

“Seven… there are 99 floors…”

“I know… wheeze..”

“I’m at the top…”

“I know… crap I think I’m finally gonna cry shit my lungs hate me…” Seven coughs, his face was a rosy color gleaned with sweat making his bangs stick to his forehead a bit.

“Luciel… like you already said, why didn’t you use the elevator?.”

“Was in a hurry… didn’t have time to think.”

“Obviously… would you like water?.”

“Yes, please. Can I sit?.”

“Go ahead.”

Luciel moved forward, almost falling. Jumin was ready to catch him but his security guards— who he didn’t know were in here as well -- caught the redhead helping him get to the couch.

He glanced, seeing there were two more they looked kinda concerned. One of them was rubbing their face, their cheek was red.

“What happened to you?.”

“He crashed into me.”

“Luciel?.”

“Yes sir.”

“You got knocked over by him?.” Jumin was pointing at the redhead who was resting on the couch.

“He was running pretty fast sir…”

Jumin is surprised after running up a 99-floor building that Seven still had the energy to keep running when he reached up here and managed to knock over his security by mistake.

He simply shook his head going over to the kitchen to get Luciel water.

After a while.

Of arguing and bickering.

Jumin found himself in one of Seven's cars. In a suit and tie.

They were going to a restaurant. One of Jumins favorites.

“Remind me again why we’re going again?.” He questions the hacker.

Seven rolled his eyes shooting Jumin a smile.

“To celebrate you idiot. Your birth is one to be celebrated!.” Luciel spoke cheerfully.

“Why?.”

“Because I love you JuJu~ and I want you to enjoy your life!.”

…

Love?.

Jumin was given a tight hug by a certain redhead. Still very much trapped, he could feel Seven's body vibrating against his in happiness.

“I love you JuJu! Holy shit this is awesome! Suck it Yoosung I got a new monitor and not you! HA!.” he cheered childishly sticking his tongue out to the blonde who gave him a hard glare sticking up his middle finger. Luciel laughed, letting go of the CEO running away from the angry blonde.

He was just enjoying his morning coffee…

It was Christmas morning and the RFA had come together at Jumins house to celebrate the holidays.

Jaehee and MC were sitting on the couch watching the two very grown adults run around like toddlers. Laughing. Jumin sips at his coffee, a presence to his right. He glances to see Zen.

“Ryu.”

“Jumin.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“You too.”

“So… He loves you?.”

All Jumin could do was shrug. He didn't understand it himself but he didn't have the heart to mention it to Seven not wanting to embarrass the boy.

Zen never mentioned it afterward.

His body was hot. His face flustered. Body beneath the other.

A low moan left his lips when Luciel thrust into him, both were drunk out of their mind. Note to self never ever allow anyone in the RFA to bring whiskey. Seven buried himself deeply into Jumins hole, all the way to the base of his cock his balls slapping against Jumins ass with each new thrust he gives loving the sweet sounds Jumin makes. Luciel leans forward pressing his lips against the director keeping his rhythm easy for them both.

Jumin ran his fingers through the other's hair gripping those red strands and tugging at them making Luciel moan against his lips. Nipping at Jumins bottom lip.

“Fucking hell Luciel…” he moaned tugging harder at the redhead's hair making him hiss in response his thrust getting quicker.

“Jumin, I Swear keep saying my name like that~,” he growled out, lust filling those honey eyes making something in Jumin crumble.

Kisses and hot frequent touches. Loud and low moans filled the room.

Seven hand was wrapped around Jumins neck as he fucked into him making the bed shake hosting one of the rich man's leg over his shoulders making sure Jumin feels ALL of him.

“I love you,” he whispered, feeling his core tighten as he continued. His eyes trained on Jumin swearing he saw purple hearts in his eyes as he was looking up at the hacker.

Jumin believes he sees red in Sevens as well.

“Luciel…” he choked out his mind foggy from the lack of air. Seven gripped his throat tighter.

“Saeyoung…” Seven replies.

“Wha?.”

“Please… Call me Saeyoung… Scream it, moan it, I don't care, just say please…” Seven pleaded leaning forward, moving Jumins leg down and around his waist once again, his thrust becoming harder hitting Jumins sweet spot countless times. Pulling out beautiful strips of moan from the other male.

He let go of Jumins throat letting him breathe.

“Saeyoung…” Jumin whispers Luciel couldn't help but hide his face against the pillow next to Jumins face as his pace continues. Jumin kept saying it.

His finger dug deep into the hacker's back as Luci forcefully pulled out his moans of pleasure.

“Saeyoung, Saeyoung, Saeyoung!.” he moaned out screaming his name as if it was a prayer Luciel loved and he wanted to keep it.

But what is a drunk man's mind?.

“I love you Jumin.”

They both came. The next morning Luciel made Jumin promise to keep his real name a secret even from their friends.

“I love you.”

“Shut up.” Jumin said, covering Saeyoungs stomach with blood leaking between his fingers. Everything was loud in his ears, the Gunshot still ringing causing static in the air. Everyone was screaming– he wanted them to shut up, he wanted them all gone if they weren't gonna help with the injured member of the RFA.

Seven let out a harsh cough. Blood coming up. Fuck! That wasn't good!.

“For fuck- Yoosung! Where are the Medicis!!!.” Jumin didn't have to take his eyes off Seven to know Yoosung was crying as he was talking to 911.

“Awe you care~...” Seven teased a weak smile on his face, his glasses discarded somewhere broken.

“Don’t joke, right now is not the time. For once just listen to me and shut Up! YOOSUNG!.” he snapped his heart in his throat watching the other man turn pale before his eyes fighting to stay with Jumin.

“They said they're close!.”

“Not good enough! He's losing a lot of blood and dying! Tell them to hurry up!.” Jumin's brain was loud, he remembers having a conversation about this with Seven. Something about trauma– going through a traumatic experience can cause the brain to go into shock and freak out and cause you to not act like yourself – something about adrenaline.

“JuJu.”

“For fuck sake Seven please shut up!.”

“Where Jaehee?.”

“She's escorting the guest outside safely.”

“MC?.”

“Seven I'm begging you.” he started to shake seeing the way Seven was slipping the more he spoke.

“Please Jumin…”

“She's outside, she's safe.”

“Good Good. Where's Zen?...”

Heavy feet came towards them. It was Zen.

Zen crouched down next to Seven body placing his large hands on his face pushing his bangs out of his face.

“I'm right here jester,” Zen spoke in a soft tone. Being the calm to Jumins rageful fear.

“Heh heh. Everyone ok?.”

“Yes… Don't worry Luci just please stop talking and save your strength.” Zen continued stroking the man's face trying to keep him awake.

Jumin pressed harder on the wound making Seven grunt-- good he still felt pain.

“I told you all not to get too close… Not to get attached.” Seven wheezed out. Giving both men a funny smile blood coming out his nose. Jumin feels like he is seconds away from passing out.

Zen let out a wet laugh. “Too bad Jester we love your stupid annoying ass”

Seven looked up to Jumin.

Jumin knew what he was asking.

“Saeyoung live so I can tell you…” he pleaded.

He saw when Seven left, and he heard when the RFA doors burst open with the paramedics.

A loud humming sound was in his ears.

He felt hands on him, multiple. They were pulling him away, pulling him away from Seven— he didn’t want to leave Seven alone!.

So he fought back but the hands kept a firm grip on him arms wrapping around him.

He heard screaming. Agonizing screaming.

It was Jumin.

Cold Jumin Han was screaming… and crying. And Zen continued to hold onto the rich man tightly. Yoosung and Jaehee by their side crying, wrapping all of them in a hug.

They looked like a family.

“You can’t find him at all?…”

“No, sorry Seven…”

“It’s okay Vanderwood…”

The redhead sighed looking out his hospital window.

“Saren was always the faster runner anyway.” He continues, rubbing his stomach absentmindedly where his brother had shot him. Seven saw it as a piece of Saren that he could alway and forever keep now. He hopes the wound never heals.

Seven room door slams open making him and Vanderwood jump in surprise looking at it Vanderwood hand near his hidden taser.

Jumin's hand was over his heart as he panted.

“Damn JuJu you look worse than I do…” Seven says taking in the business man appearance. He looked unorganized, his eyes were colder and more tired, his skin paler— he hasn’t been sleeping or eating.

Jumin head shot towards Seven. The nurses weren’t lying. He was awake.

“What? Saw a gho— ack!.” He grunted, hugging his stomach over the wound where Vanderwood hit him.

“No time for joking, don’t be insensitive now. I understand you don’t like serious conversation or scenes but now is not the time.” Vanderwood scolded. His eyes went on Jumin who was already looking at him.

“Mr. Han.” Vanderwood says simply, crossing his arms.

“And you?.” He acknowledged.

“No one.” Seven and Vanderwood answered together, looking at one another. Vanderwood actually cracked a smile for once at that.

Jumin knew best not to question. If Seven said it as well then it means nothing and might cause issues if Jumin tries to push. The best he does is nod.

Vanderwood stares for a while then sighs.

“I’m gonna go, Seven don’t strain yourself.”

“Yes madam~” he smiled cheekily.

“You’re injured. That doesn’t mean I won’t make it worse.” Vanderwood lightly warned.

“Yes sir.”

“I’m gonna kill this kid.” He mumbled walking past Jumin, shutting the door behind him.

Silence filled the room.

Seven didn’t like it.

“So— how’s business— hey!.” He exclaims being wrapped into a hug. Jumin burying his face into Sevens neck.

“Jumin?.”

“I love you…” Jumin responds quietly so only Seven can hear.

“Jumin—.”

“Shut it… you and that damn motor mouth…”

“…”

“I love you… I love you so much…”

“I love you Saeyoung…”

#juminmysticmessenger #mystic messenger 707 #luciel mystic messenger #mystic messenger #Jumciel #jumin x 707 #707 x Jumin #jumin han #saeyoung choi #drabble #707 #light angst #vanderwood #zen mystic messenger #i love you #juciel #jucifer

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brighteststar707 · 2 years

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I posted 3,707 times in 2022

That's 3,192 more posts than 2021!

202 posts created (5%)

3,505 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@marshmallowprotection

@natasha-in-space

@aftergiow

@shittylongcatposts

I tagged 2,294 of my posts in 2022

Only 38% of my posts had no tags

#queue - 98 posts

#self reblog - 87 posts

#mystic messenger - 84 posts

#faye talks - 38 posts

#my writing - 33 posts

#<3 - 30 posts

#ask - 30 posts

#this is adorable - 27 posts

#red universe - 26 posts

#ahahahah - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#suit depends on intimidation to keep his assistant under control but when he can no longer physically intimidate you the dynamic drastically

My Top Posts in 2022:

How many times do you think the agency urged Seven to dye his hair, because it’s a liability to be so recognizable?

And how many times do you think he refused, because after giving up his name and his past life, his appearance is the only thing left connecting him to his brother?

114 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

*Nobody was surprised by that*

117 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

Just thinking about Jaehee Kang looking at old pictures and not being able to recognize herself. She ruefully runs her hand through her hair and tries not to linger on the unpleasant thought that she has lost herself somewhere along the way.

Thinking about her bonding with the newest RFA member, despite being so hesitant at the beginning. You understand her in a way that nobody has before, and she can’t help but confide in you, especially as things at work start to get hard and her doubts become harder to ignore.

Full post

124 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

Hi! Can I request,,,Jumin + Kissing in between saying "I love you"...? Thank you!

Hi anon! Here it is <3

Jumin - Kissing in between saying "I love you"

Usually, Jumin was the one to tease you about being a whirlwind around the penthouse. You had a tendency to jump from one activity to another without pause. However, for the past few days, his usual composed movements had become more erratic. He would spring up from his seat to go double-check paperwork and plans, moving through your home like he couldn’t get anywhere fast enough. A last-minute business trip had come up unexpectedly, an opportunity that he couldn’t miss, and for the first time since marrying you, he couldn’t bring you with him.

Full post

125 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Seven’s camera roll is full of pictures of the RFA, especially from parties when everyone’s all dressed up. He knows he’ll have to delete them one day, but for now, they bring him joy. He has lots of sneak shots of Vanderwood that he took when they weren’t looking that he uses to tease them, and lots of pictures of Zen that he saved for the twitter bot.

He has memes saved that he wants to send to Yoosung and a lot more cat photos that he sends to Jumin. Every picture of Elizabeth that has ever been sent in the chatroom (and then some that haven’t) are all saved for him to fawn over.

Full post

225 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #thank you to everyone who showed support to my writing <3

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bluejay-writes · 1 year

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A sort of Fairy Tail - Chapter 13 (Ending)

Rating: T / PG-13, SFW.

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Relationships: 707/MC (Jaena)/Saeran

Chapter 13 Wordcount: 1938

You can also read this on AO3! <- Also a good place to check tags.

The bell above the door jingled, and Jaena looked up to see an impeccably dressed Jumin Han walking into her coffee shop.

“Good afternoon, Jumin!” She said, slipping out from behind the counter to steal a hug from the man. He was still working on understanding the human concept of emotions and even platonic physical intimacy, but to his credit he was trying.

“Hello, Miss Jaena.” He said, smiling. “Have you seen Assistant, erm, Manager Kang lately? I gave her the afternoon off, but I forgot to give her something before she left the office and I haven’t been able to reach her.”

Jaena chuckled and just pointed to the couch that usually contained a Jaehee when she was in the shop. It did in fact currently contain a Jaehee, her head pillowed on Vanderwood’s lap. Vanderwood, who was busy reading and petting Jaehee’s hair while she napped. The rest of the shop was practically empty at this time of day, which was the perfect excuse to make her dad take an extended break.

“Ah.” Jumin said, a light blush on his cheeks. “I would not like to interrupt her afternoon. Can I ask you to give her this when she awakens?” Jumin held out what was very clearly a greeting card.

Jaena reached to take it, but was interrupted by Jaehee’s voice ringing out into the room. “I’m not asleep, Mr. Han.”

“Oh.” he said quietly, and turned to walk over to Jaehee, handing her the card, with a quiet “Happy Administrative Professionals Day, Miss Kang.”

Jaehee sat up and took the card, her cheeks an embarrassed pink. “I thought the afternoon off was my gift?”

Jumin shook his head. “That was a whim. This is your gift.”

Jaehee blinked, staring at the contents of the envelope, her eyes misty. “Really?”

“Yes. Zen’s off-broadway tour is coming here for your birthday. I know it’s still most of the year away, however I could not wait to gift these to you at the earliest opportunity.”

“Jumin…you reserved the entire Box.”

“I did. You may choose who can join you. The box can seat six.”

Jaehee looked around the coffee shop and grinned. “Sure. Myself, Vanderwood, You, Jaena, the twins. Six.”

“I’m Seven!” Saeyoung called from the register, and Jaehee facepalmed.

“I don’t need to invite you.” Jaehee called back.

“Sorry, ma’am.” Saeyoung responded meekly.

Jumin turned back to the counter, a rare smile gracing his face.

“What can I get you, Jumin?” Saeyoung said, a smile matching Jumin’s making its way onto his face. Jumin smiles were contagious.

“Coffee.”

“Flavor shot?” He asked, despite knowing the response.

“Just coffee.”

“Room for cream?” Jaena asked, trying her best not to laugh as she poured Jumin’s usual cup of coffee.

“No.”

“Jumin, are you getting that famous coffee flavor ‘brown’?” Saeran said from the kitchen, causing the entire trio to break out laughing.

For his part, Jumin just took his coffee and went to sit down, chuckling the entire way.

“No one can stop Superman Yoosung!”

The announcer’s voice rang out through the stadium as Yoosung once again wiped the floor with the enemy team. His team, formerly the underdogs in the US LOLOL Professional Arena (LPA) had been entirely undefeated since his addition to the team. It would be an understatement to simply say he was carrying them. He was clearly using their practice time to bring the rest of the team up to his level, and their dedication showed.

Saeyoung and Jaena shared a grin, but couldn’t get Saeran’s eyes off the screens. He loved this game, and one of his best friends being a professional player for it only heightened his enjoyment.

After the game, handily won by Yoosung and his team, Jaena and the twins made their way backstage to greet him. Yoosung of course wasted no time finding them, and throwing his arms around Saeyoung, then Saeran, and finally Jaena. Also as usual, he’d forgotten that cameras and interviewers existed.

“You came!!!” He said, overjoyed.

“Of course we came, it’s your big tournament this week, how could we possibly miss it!” Jaena said, and Yoosung just shook his head.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to get away from the shop for that long.”

“Yeah, well, Dad’s watching the shop, and he’s been training Liz on the register, so he’s not alone.”

<<It’s so weird to think of Vanderwood as your dad.>> Yoosung muttered in Korean. <<Especially when I thought she was Seven’s maid this whole time.>>

Saeyoung just laughed his maniacal laugh, but then looked up suddenly as someone approached their little cluster.

“Superman Yoosung!” The pre- and post-game host for the arena was there, microphone in hand, pet cameramen behind her. “Would you introduce us to your friends?”

Saeran blinked, a light blush on his cheeks. Lightning was his favorite LPA personality, so seeing her in person was more than a little bit of celebrity shock for the poor goth child.

Yoosung, much better at both talking to people and talking in English than he’d been when the season started, turned to face her, his smile bright for the camera.

“Hey Lightning! These are my friends from home, though they live in the states now. Saeyoung and Saeran Choi, and Jaena Starkey.”

Jaena waved when Yoosung introduced her, and watched as who they were connected in the hostess’ mind.

“Oh! I didn’t know you were friends with Saeyoung, Yoosung!” Lightning said, and Jaena felt both of her boys instinctively tense.

“Yeah well.” Yoosung said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Who do you think taught me to play LOLOL?” he gestured at Saeyoung with both hands, like a Will Smith meme.

“Wow, really?” Lightning turned her analyst gaze on the ginger, and grinned. “Will we get to see an exhibition match with you at some point Saeyoung?”

Saeyoung laughed and shook his head. “Yoosung surpassed his master a long time ago. I’m afraid I’d just disappoint you.”

Saeran snorted, but kept his mouth shut. Saeyoung could still give Yoosung a run for his money. The four of them regularly played ranked matches when Yoosung wasn’t practicing with his team, but they sure weren’t going to tell Lightning and out themselves in front of the entirety of the fanbase. Yoosung’s stream knowing their voices was more than enough notoriety for the three of them, thanks.

“So, Saeyoung, just to sate my curiosity…” Lightning said, “Is Miss Jaena here the Perfect Scarlet you were looking for back on Noprah?”

“She sure is.” Saeyoung said, planting a kiss on Jaena’s cheek the way he always did when someone asked that question. “I mean look at this hair!!”

Jaena laughed, but at this point she was too used to the situation to even blush at the kiss on the cheek. It was too normal in her life.

“What are you three doing these days?” Lightning asked, and as usual, Saeran answered.

“Running Paradigm Coffee in Minneapolis.” he said, his usual dry tone especially jarring in comparison to everyone else’s energy, despite the color in his cheeks. “Come visit sometime.” The last bit was said directly into the camera, with an accompanying wink.

“Maybe after the finals, though.” Jaena said, elbowing him. “Since we’re all here right now, not there. Brat.”

Lightning laughed and closed out her segment, and wandered off somewhere else. Jaena turned to Yoosung and apologized.

“Sorry, ‘Sung. I hate how anywhere we go people’s attention are always on us, when you’re so much more deserving.”

Yoosung just shook his head. “No, it’s nice to have a break from attention, to be honest. Hey, I need to get a drink, do you want to meet my team?”

“Yes.” The twins chorused, their eagerness palpable.

Jaena rolled her shoulders, the weight from her Black Wing armor almost foreign on her shoulders after having missed two years of the con circuit she was used to.

“Doing okay, Scarlet?” Jellal asked from her right, and she laughed.

“Yeah, just getting back used to my armor, it’s been awhile.”

“If your wings are anything like these staves….” Mystogan said, grumbling about the weight of the costume he chose.

“Oh!” Jellal said suddenly. “Is that Zen?”

Jaena turned over her shoulder where he was pointing. Yep, that sure was Zen cosplaying as Daemon Targaryen. Her attention, however, was stolen completely by the Rhaenyra by his side.

“Lucy!” She said, turning the rest of the way, and half-sprinting towards her friend, with her blue-haired shadows following her.

“If this isn’t just a cosmic coincidence.” she said, winking. “Good to see you, Jaena.”

“I never thought I’d see you here, and as a Targaryen, no less.” Jaena said, laughing.

“Well, Zen really didn’t want to wear a wig, but I talked him into contacts, so…”

“Yeah, well, if there was anyone who could tame a dragon, it’d be the two of you.” Saeyoung said, grinning.

“Tell me about it.” Zen said, chuckling, and Lucy giggled.

“Jaena, we have some news for you.”

“News?” The Mystogan to Jaena’s left said in Saeran’s voice, ducking under her wing so he could actually participate in the conversation.

Zen looked between the two blue-haired characters on either side of Jaena and blinked. “Wait. I thought this one was Saeyoung but…”

“You seriously can’t tell us apart just by voice?” Saeyoung said, his energy obvious at least to Jaena any time he spoke.

“Yeah, seriously Zen, that’s embarrassing.” Saeran’s calm almost-deadpan tone followed, and Jaena just grinned.

“Whatever, news!” Lucy said, and held out her hand, a sparkling ring on her finger. “We’re engaged!!!”

Jaena squealed, Saeran quietly applauded, and Saeyoung shared a high five with Zen.

“Congratulations!! That’s so exciting! Any idea when the wedding’s going to be?”

“Next summer, after my current show is over.” Zen said. “Actually, we’re going to be spending the summer in your neck of the woods - Jumin’s offered C&R’s Rooftop for our ceremony.”

“Wow.” Jaena said. “That’s going to be gorgeous.”

“Yeah.” Lucy grinned. “You wouldn’t be willing to be my maid of honor, would you, Jae?”

Jaena paused and blinked. “Me?! Really? Of course I will!!”

Zen chuckled. “See babe, I told you she’d agree.”

The wedding was a lavish affair, with a bigger budget than anyone would have expected - Lucy came from a family with Money, and they were happy to see their doctor daughter marrying someone with social status - even if it was entertainment industry status.

For her part, Jaena enjoyed wandering around the event in her emerald green dress. She’d walked down the aisle with none other than Jumin Han, Zen’s best man of course. Those two had become inseparable friends once they’d gotten over their odd rivalry in the messenger.

Dancing with first Saeyoung, then Saeran, made her heart sing. She’d have to come up with more excuses to get those two dressed up in suits, they looked amazing that way.

When the time for the bouquet toss rolled around, Jaehee grabbed Jaena’s hand and all but dragged her out into the crowd of women. Of course, Tall Jaena in heels had no problem at all snagging the flying bundle of flowers out of the air, as if on instinct. She shared a giggle with Jaehee, who had a look on her face like that was exactly what she expected was going to happen. In her joy and silliness, Jaena completely missed the looks on the faces of the rest of their party.

Zen looked smug.

Yoosung was dumbfounded.

Jumin was smirking knowingly.

Lucy looked like she’d planned this all along.

Vanderwood looked resigned to this eventuality.

Saeyoung and Saeran were looking at each other in a blind panic.

Author's Note: And that's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed my little story. Likes are encouraged, Reblogs would be a dream. Thanks fam.

#mystic messenger #mysme #chapter fic #read on ao3

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thevoidlord · 10 months

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Mixed! Messenger AU

I came up with a Mystic Messenger AU! I have no idea if this already exists lol It's sort of a role-swap for the characters, but based on mixing the duos/trios, mostly (but not completely) based on story grouping. Here's the list of who is swapped with who:

MC swapped with Rika

Jumin swapped with Seven

V swapped with Saeran

Yoosung swapped with Zen

Jaehee swapped with Vanderwood

It's still an AU-in-progress, so it still needs some things fleshed-out, but here's some random things I thought about for each character: Yoosung: - a new, young voice actor - still very cute - has voiced characters in (usually indie) videogames primarily - wants to work on bigger games, but spends too much time gaming when he should be applying for bigger voice acting positions Zen: - college student who changed his major several times and failed a bunch of classes, but still doing his best - still a narcissist - working several jobs to pay for his tuition because he refuses to accept financial help, wanting to earn it on his own - loves musicals!! (he'll one day realize his dream to be a musical actor, but he has yet to realize...) Vanderwood: - works for CEO-in-line, Saeyoung Choi, as his assistant (and maid) - constantly reminds Seven to take his job seriously - is very confused why Seven has so much money yet doesn't take care of his health (Seven still primarily eats honey buddha chips) - annoyed when Saeyoung calls them his housemaid when clearly they're his assistant Jaehee: - secret agent (and catsitter for Jumin) - overworked by the agency AND Jumin and needs a break - cat hair everywhere, send help - has to beg Jumin not to involve cats into his or their missions - still loves musicals! (not a fan of Zen as an actor tho since he's not an actor yet) - once sat next to Zen during a theatre showing, but never kept in contact (was in awe from his beauty, but knew she needed to keep her distance due to agency work) Jumin: - hacker and secret agent - still has Elizabeth the 3rd, and claims that her wisdom has helped him crack many codes and solved many missions - great at his job otherwise - still has the same personality as before, except hacker Seven: - CEO-in-line who works hard but also loves mischief! - definitely has produced some hilarious marketing campaigns - may or may not have made some secret loophole scams to snatch more money for his babies (his cars) - still wants to play with Elly - can actually afford to go to the moon V: - used to be best friends with Jumin before joining Gold Eye under MC - loves art, but doesn't have enough time to make any due to hacking and cult shenanigans - instead of a garden, Gold Eye has an art gallery where V likes to spend his time - will do anything for MC, even learning to hack and worshipping her every move Saeran: - leader of MC's Fundraising Association (MCFA) - specializes in floral photography and gardening - lives with his brother in a penthouse - has a large garden in their backyard with all sorts of flowers and plants - he and Saeyoung still grew up with that abusive mother, but, eventually they learned their dad (who isn't the prime minister in this) was rich, so they escaped, found him, and convinced him to let them live with him - loves MC and has been desperate to find her after she vanished Rika: - no, she is not getting the option to date like in the game; she's just there trying to fix everything and make everyone happy - never hosted a party in her life, but is determined to try - never dated V - struggles with mental illness and trauma, but is actively seeking therapy and is improving - joined MCFA after MC left (Yoosung recognized her immediately, but everyone else does not know her) MC: - cult leader of Gold Eye - obsessed with bringing MCFA into her cult as her harem - looooooves bad endings - didn't fake her own death, but did mysteriously cut contact one day and took V with her - the true mastermind in all this EVERYTHING IN THIS LIST IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE!! I just thought this would be a fun AU concept idea lol I made this while sleep deprived lol I'm gonna go to sleep now

#mystic messenger au #mystic messenger #yoosung mysme #mysme au #mysme #mysme 707 #jaehee kang #jumin han #mysme mc #vanderwood #mysme zen #mysme v #saeran choi #mint eye

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themysticanatomy · 6 years

Photo

-- what makes the character themselves? --

anatomy of jaehee!

please do not repost ^^ By the way, I made a Mystic Messenger discord! Here’s the link if you want to join: https://discord.gg/vzmaFf8

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denikatt · 6 years

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Really wanted to draw this but I ended up not liking the final result lol

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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Hi Kait! How have you been? I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the same anon who came up with the idea of Ray's Assistant in a relationship with the SE System.

Your response put a huge smile on my face and made me lost in daydreams, thousands of scenarios came to my mind and I needed to write them down—Being honest, I've considered making a fanfic about it, but secondly I haven't played Ray's Route, so I don't entirely trust my characterization of him and Suit, and firstly, well, SE Ray and Grave are pretty much your OCs and I wouldn't feel right doing it without consulting you first.

However, I didn't come here to talk about it but about the Secrets Endings-

You see, I'm relatively new to the Mystic Messenger fandom. I heard about the game when I was younger, but since I didn't have the means to play it back then, I quickly forgot about it, and it wasn't until earlier this year that I rediscovered it.

When something catches my attention, the first thing I do is get as much information about it as I can, not caring about spoilers in the case of series and video games. So, putting Mystic Messenger in the tumblr search engine I found your blog and, well... I love character analyzes—exploring their minds, find the reason (or at least try to understand) why they are the why they are and why they do what they do helps me to connect with the characters, discovering both good and bad traits of mine in their ways of being, and your analyzes of Saeran are so amazing that I ended up falling in love with him and your writing!

And I just completed the Secret Endings, which only served to position Unknown and SE Saeran in first place in my top favorite characters.

I have so many things to say, not only about him, about V and Saeyoung as well.

V is someone I have mixed feelings for—As character, he's excellent, as person, I want to slap him. I don't hate him, I can sympathize with him in certain ways and I cried because of it on more than one occasion during the first Secret Ending, I still don't like him though.

He upsets me, both with what he says and what he doesn't.

He feels responsible for Rika's actions, I get it, but how does he not realize the damage his "I'll take all the blame and consequences on my own" mentality causes? Yoosung, Jumin, Saeyoung, and Saeran—He hurts them all with his silence.

Despite everything, I have to admit that his death left me with a strange void. Look, during the ENTIRE game I accumulated this distrust and anger towards him, to which pity was added thanks to the SE.

I have thousands of questions, a lot of criticism, the desire to understand his motivations, and the little, stupid hope that maybe, just maybe, he can redeem himself-

But none of that matters because the bastard is dead.

I can't interrogate him, I can't yell and hit him, I can't give him a second chance because he's dead—Saeran killed him, and there's a little voice in my head telling me he deserved it.

He deserved it, for fostering in Rika the thought that her mental instability was 'beautiful'.

He deserved it, for not going to Jumin and telling him what was happening, even knowing that that man would move heaven and earth for his friends' well-being.

He deserved it, for not let know Saeyoung about the kidnapping of his twin.

He deserved it, for continuing to defend Rika even when she brainwashed hundreds, maybe thousands of people, locking up Saeyoung, Vanderwood, and MC, and destroy the sweet child she promised to care for.

He deserved it, so why did I shed my tears for him?

I could sit on my bed and think about it until I find an answer, but I can't waste my time like that when Saeran is here—Finally, he's here. He's alive, he's furious, he's depressed, he's confused, and I want to hug him and reassure him that everything will be okay, but I know it's not that easy.

...Is this how Saeyoung feels during all of this? Does he also feel this anger, this inexplicable sadness, this dissatisfaction, this feeling of relief?

Saeyoung needs a hug too. And I want to cuddle with him, caress his hair, kiss his forehead, let him know that he has my full support and that one day we will be happy, the three of us. But at some point my affection for him became something brotherly, and yes, I want him to love and be loved, to have his wedding on the space station, just not with me, not anymore.

I can relate to him on a personal level in this situation—I also have a sister with poor mental health, and she may not be at Saeran's level of instability, but she still has zero self-esteem and suicidal thoughts, and having someone you love in such condition is not easy.

Seeing Saeyoung begging Saeran not to leave him, that he's here for him, that they'll get through this together hit too close to home. But Saeran's refusal to listen to him, although understandable, was killing me, because just thinking about my sister reacting like that to me...

Some of the things Saeyoung said, however, made me uncomfortable.

They made me uncomfortable because they're exactly the kind of things I keep to myself knowing they might sound selfish to my sister's ears. When he talked about how time is a social construction? "Don't say things like that, it's not that easy," was what I thought, and Saeran shouted similar words.

Still, I admire his strength, because if I were in Saeyoung's place, I would have cried almost the entire time.

Now, Saeran...

Oh, Kait, you have no idea how much I love his voice. Some people say it doesn't suit the character, but for me it fits perfectly, Sujin Kang's performance is worthy of a standing ovation.

You can feel his disbelief as he sees V in that cabin, and how his reality crumbles as he cries "Savior! Savior!" when Rika refuses to give him answers. When he compared Saeyoung dragging him into the bunker with his mother locking up and Rika isolating him it was like someone had taken my heart in hand and squeezed it, he sounded so hopeless...

By the time Saeyoung stopped him from ending his life, I was sobbing silently. I cried in every episode of the second Secret Ending and always because of Saeran, even now my eyes fill with tears thinking about everything he had to go through.

I don't think I can say anything about our boy that you haven't said before, but I can assure you that my love for him is stronger than ever and that my new understanding of his mental state is going to drown me in sobs.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to reread Iris and cry about it properly.

Have a good night!

Jihyun is a complicated, multi-faceted character. He and Rika both did things that furthered the worst case scenario, and frankly, they brought out the worst in each other time and time again. I find him interesting, and frankly, he's my third favorite character because of how complex he is. Though, I hardly get to discuss it because V and Rika, both, are talked about in the sense of extremes rather than the realm of discussing how they both hold blame and fault.

Their relationship was mutually toxic and abusive. They were using each other for the wrong reasons and their relationships spiraled out of control because what they thought was love was actually idolation and obsession. V will keep his promise to never let go of someone to make up for what happened to his mother, and the only route where he is able to fully overcome that without hitting rock bottom, is in his own route.

Ray Route and Seven Route are the worst case scenario for Jihyun Kim.

Because he is immediately forced into a position where he has no choice but to decide what he wants to do with himself, and he will choose to regress into his mistakes every time instead of pulling out of them. It's one of the reasons why I like his character so much.

When you think he's going to finally help himself and make the right decision, he regresses, unfortunately, and that's human. All of these characters have moments where they regress or they struggle, and that's what helps them feel human, even if it's frustrating. We all have moments in our life like that, and we're not proud of it.

But, hey, the world isn't perfect and we can make mistakes despite our intentions.

I've loved Saeran since 2016, but let me tell you, SE Saeran means so much to me. It can be tough to play through the Secret Endings because I know exactly what he's feeling and I know where he's been. Looking at him sometimes it's like looking in a mirror, and there is comfort in knowing that he knows what it feels like to not have control over his situation, because sometimes all you want is to be understood by something you love.

Even if you can't find that in the real world, seeing it in the media means that your experience is something that can be understood and someone will get you someday, and smile at you the way you want.

It just goes to show that we can learn a lot from the things we love. Sure, you related much more to Saeyoung in this situation, but playing this allowed you the opportunity to see more of what it must feel like to be in your sister's shoes. I think the great thing about emotionally charged games like this is that it gives us the opportunity to better understand not only ourselves but the people around us. Because I think the best way to learn and grow is to continue to seek out things that make us see ourselves in a way that may not be comfortable, but gives us a chance to face what needs to be faced.

Iris is a labor of love so I am happy to hear that you enjoyed that story in particular. I always wanted to write an assistant timeline for Unknown outside of the confines of the one I created for my MC. That story was the one I always wanted to write and even to this day, I'm happy I wrote it.

That little plot twist at the end is my favorite part because there are bits and pieces that give you hints about what's going to happen once you get to those last few chapters, but I made them sparingly appear in the strangest places so it would come to the reader as a surprise.

#assistant anon #mod kait #ask #tw depression #tw mental health #tw suicidal thoughts

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