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ncttytrack · 9 months

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Favorite Flavor - p.sh (m)

Every little dirty story that revolved around older men you read that night, you thought about him. Since that day, your deepest darkest fantasy was your crush on Park Sunghoon, your best friend's dad.

Summary: You loved your best friend, and you have known each other for a long time. But as you grow older, so does your attraction for her dad, Park Sunghoon.

Genre: Smut, Best-friends-dad!Sunghoon x reader

Words: 5.5k+

Warnings: Huge age gap (reader is 20 and Sunghoon is 38) Don't like - don't read, Dom!Sunghoon, Sub!reader, creampie, reader has an age kink

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

You genuinely have the best friend ever. The first day you met each other was all the way back when you were twelve years old. All your classmates had decided to make you the new victim of their bullying, resulting in you not having any friends for the first two weeks of school. Until one day when your now best friend decided to sit with you at lunch. Being unsure of yourself, you had a problem opening up to her. Is she sitting with me to make fun of me? But you were wrong, so wrong. You talked the whole lunch period, making jokes and talking about your interests. That's when you found out that you both liked manga, and that she had a big collection at home that she wanted to show you.

She invited you to her home later the same week, and you were beyond excited. It was a long time ago since you were invited to someone's house, that was not your aunt, or some other family member. You remember that you stood in front of her door, eagerly, waiting for her to open the door you just knocked on.

And that's when you met him.

The person opening your friend's door was indeed not your friend, but someone much older, and ofcourse, manlier. The door swung open and there was a man standing in front of you. He looked at first glance tall and slender, probably because of the clothes that he was wearing, a thick hoodie and a pair of sweats. His hair, which was black, was not close to styled - and it actually looked like he just woke up from a deep slumber. His face however was beautiful, not that you thought about that at the ripe age of twelve, but you still remembered how pretty he was. His lips were pink and plump, and his nose was big and pronounced, decorated with a mole on the side of it. During this time, he was rather young, around 28, so your first initial thought was that he was her older brother. It was weird, she never mentioned an older brother, and it never occurred to you that she had one?

“Oh, hi! You must be y/n, Im Sunghoon, Yeris dad!” The first thing that you could think of is how young her dad looked. Did he just look young for his age, or was he actually in his late twenties. Before the situation could get anymore awkward, beacuse you didn’t have the courage to answer the gorgeous man in front of you, Yeri ran and pushed her dad away from you and grabbed your hand to lead you up to her room. While you two walked away, your hand still in hers, you looked back at Sunghoon still standing in the doorway.

That was your first encounter with Mr. Park, and when you were a kid you didn’t think that much of him. Yeah, he looked good for the average dad, but that's what he was: your best friend's dad. Even thinking he was attractive was so morally wrong in your head, so you didn’t let the thoughts get to you. You did however remember how popular he was amongst the other moms, especially your own. It was also then you discovered that he was in fact super young, being 16 when he got Yeri. You could hear your mom talking for hours about how brave Mr. Park was for taking care of a child from such an early age, despite the fact that the mom left when he and Yeri were 18 and 2 years old. You can’t imagine how much work that must have been for him, both having to think about his studies and his two year old child.

It wasn't until you became 16 that Sunghoon had an effect on you. When you're 16 years old, you are well into puberty and the effect it has on you, both physically and mentally. In the same rapid speed your body got grown, so did your mind as well. Suddenly a guy was not only 'good looking', but put you in a position to sweat and turn red - just by the thought of being in the same room. It didn’t even need to be one specific guy, suddenly you found yourself being attracted to a lot more. Before, when you were glancing at a male classmate's hand, you didn’t think much of it. But now the veins, the bone and the soft skin made it too hard for you to concentrate.

You clearly remembered the first day you looked at your best friend's dad the same way you did for the boys at your school. It was in the middle of the summer break and you decided to visit Yeri at her place. The sun was out and it was almost criminal how hot it was. If you didn't wear the light clothing you wore, you would totally be drenched in disgusting sweat by the time you got there. Your house was not that far, resulting in you always going by bike during all weathers to get to her place. The bike rack was by the side of the garden, and that's where you always put your bike when arriving. That’s when you saw Mr. Park in a state you never had seen him in before. He sawed planks with a massive chainsaw, which was probably several kilograms. His sweat was glistering in the sun, making his white tank top almost see through, and you curse yourself for staring at his hot worked out stomach. His arms were pumped up, and dirty from all the work. The sweat made his hair wet, making it stick to his forehead, before bringing up his hand, pushing the hair back. You are glad that he didn’t see you gawking at him, because that would be utterly embarrassing.

The thing only got worse when your new interest in fanfiction made you realize your darkest fantasies. You had heard from Yeri that you could read stories about your favorite anime characters, and imagine that they were real and that they knew you. What she did not mention however, was that you could find so much more than that. You don’t even want to talk about what you used to read, but you could addmit that it was nasty, and utterly addicting. It started off light, even the slightest makeout story making your body tingle, but it came to a point when that wasn’t enough. So you searched for more, not knowing what it would lead to. It was then you found a story about having an inappropriate relationship with an older man, and it only went downhill from there. What was the problem however was the fact that the fanfiction could be written about anybody, but it couldn't stop you from thinking about Mr. Park. So that's what you did. Every little dirty story that revolved around older men you read that night, you thought about him. Since that day, your deepest darkest fantasy was your crush on Park Sunghoon, your best friend's dad.

It wasn’t long until you were 18 years old, and you of course celebrated it with your family, and your best friend's. The big birthday cake, chocolate flavored, with all the eighteen candles was in front of you, and you were wearing one of those silly party cones on top of your head. They sang for you and you were the only one sitting down. You looked at the lit candles, getting ready to blow them out when the song was over. “Don’t forget to wish for something”, you hear a voice say that you have heard too many times to not recognize. You look up at Sungoon and smile at him. “I will '', you say with a small smile, nervously gulping down your saliva before looking down at the cake again. You close your eyes and blow out the candles, knowing exactly what you are going to wish for. After you opened your eyes, Yeri gave you a big side-hug before jokingly saying, “Omg! Now that you are 18 you can finally fool around with older men that you have read about without catching a case!”. Embarrassed, you lightly punch her shoulder and laugh nervously while tugging your hair behind your ear. You silently hoped that Sunghoon didn’t hear her, but by the look on his face, he certainly did.

It was the same day but later, and a lot more people were in your house celebrating your birthday. Including some friends you finally have scrabbed together over the last six years. Because you finally could drink alcohol, at least legally, it didn’t stop you from doing so, making you right now extremely drunk. It was dark inside the house, with disco lights spreading throughout the room and you craved another drink. You wobbled towards the cabinet to grab the last vodka bottle, but right as you picked it up, a hand stopped you from going further. You looked irritated beside you, only to be met by Sunghoon. “I think you should slow down a little”. You look at him annoyed, trying to get the bottle back from his hands. But Sunghoon held the bottle so high above his head that you couldn't reach it, having to stand on your toes to even be close. Suddenly Sunghoon grabbed your arm with his other hand, bringing it down by force and close to his chest, dragging you in close to him. You breath hitched because you were super close, and he slowly brought down the bottle and put it on the table behind him. Before the liquid courage would force you any further, you backed away from him. “I think I am a little tired, I should rest ”you say and run up to your room.

What you did not know however, was that you had left your phone on the same table where Sunghoon put the vodka. He knew that it was wrong, but he could not stop thinking about what his daughter had said earlier. What older men had you read about exactly? What if you were talking to someone and you were in danger. He wouldn't let an older guy take advantage of you like that. He did know your iphone code, he had accidentally seen you tap it in some days before, and luckily he remembered the numbers. He sneakily brought up your phone, and unlocked it. Right as he opened it a notification popped up from an app called wattpad. What’s that? He thought, as he opened the app. Right as he opened it he wished he didn’t, because now he could exactly see what you had been reading over the past two years. The stories were filthy, and so were the age gaps, all the characters were even older than him. He couldn't look at it anymore, not believing that a girl like you could read something like that. What he did know now however, is how difficult it will be to act normal around you.

And oh, it was. Now you are 20, and over the last two years, from the day you turned 18 to now when you were 20, he acted weird towards you. Not that you knew why, because you never saw, that he saw what you had been getting off of over the past years. And he was getting cocky, I mean he knew that he was hot, and the stares that he would give you over the dinner table when you were with your friend was almost too much for you to bear.

Today was a hot summer day, and you were laying by the pool in your friend's backyard. It was the first day of summer, and you have always celebrated it with Yeri, even after you both graduated from high school. When you both were as young as 15, she smuggled in a bottle of alcohol to drink, not caring that it was clearly illegal. Of course you never get caught, Yeri makes Sunghoon go away for the day every year so he doesn’t interrupt your fun. Over the last years you had always covered your body, never wanting to show it. Even when it was only you and your friend, you wanted your t-shirt over your swimsuit to cover you even when swimming. It wasn’t because you were insecure about your appearance, you didn’t think much of it, but maybe it was for private reasons. But this time, it was different.

Last night your friend called to make the not-so-awful news that her dad is not leaving for the day like he usually does, which means he is going to be there. You try to act disappointed on the phone, but you were far from disappointed. Quickly after the call ended, you searched through your closet trying to find something as close to a bikini. As you start to lose hope, you see the perfect one, a blue halter neck bikini with a low-waist bottom. You bought it a few years ago and you never had the chance to wear it. But now you did.

When you greeted Mr. Park in the backyard you were already wearing it, making sure that your boobs were pushed up into the small bikini top. Throughout the day you had tried to do anything to get Sunghoons attention, but nothing seemed to work. That's when you got an idea. You laid by the pool and decided that you wanted to go top-less to sunbathe your back. Sunghoon could not stop staring at you from the barbeque-grill when you laid down on your stomach, carefully removed your bikini-top without flashing your tits, and relaxed against the sunbed. He almost burned the meat from staring at you. Did she do this on purpose? He did remember the things he saw on your phone on your 18th birthday, how could he forget?

Feeling way too hot, you decided to put on your bikini top again and head inside to cool off and grab some water from the fridge. As you open the fridge to take your drink, your thoughts get disturbed by a voice coming from behind you. “What do you think you are doing?”, you turn around looking at Sunghoon innocently and dumbfounded. He better not think he will get to you this easily. “What are you talking about, can’t I get a drink?”. Sunghoons sighs, put his hands on his hips and looks to the side. His foot is tapping fast on the ground. He is stressed. And his tongue pokes his inner-cheek. And irritated. You slowly walk to him, and tilt your head to the side. You look at him and scrunch your eyebrows, making you look clueless to what he is accusing you for. “Are you angry at me? I mean no harm, I am just your daughter's best friend”. He sighs and looks away for a second, before looking back at you with a smile. Right, Yeris best friend, he internally says to himself. It was a dumb thought that she did all that on purpose. “Of course you can take a drink, I’m just messing with you” he says and walks away.

It has been two weeks since you talked to Sunghoon, avoiding him at all costs out of embarrassment. You can’t believe what had gotten into you that day. It is three in the morning and Yeri is already asleep beside you. That's when you hear the front door open. You didn’t even notice that Sunghoon wasn’t home, and why did he get home this late? Suddenly you hear more than one pair of footsteps, it sounds like someone is with him. Did he bring someone home? Out of curiosity you carefully walk out of the bed Yeri is sleeping on, and towards the bedroom door to see what is going on. And that’s when you see her. It’s a woman. Sunghoon really did bring someone home. And it wasn’t anyone, it was a woman his age, which means she was nothing close to you. You silently watch them, how they intensely makeout with each other and walk into Sunghoons room, closing the door. You can’t stop yourself, and walk after them.

You lean towards his bedroom door and you can hear the sounds coming from their fun. The huffs, the puffs and the moans. You hear how the woman is calling for Sunghoons name, and that he should go faster and harder. The ache in your stomach grew bigger and bigger at her words, until you heard Sunghoons voice through the bedroom door. He sounds demanding, ordering her around, making her begg. Your body trembles, and you can feel your core getting wetter and wetter with any second. You have never heard Sunghoon like this, and you can’t get enough of it. You need more, your body can't physically leave.

Still listening, you slide down to the ground, your body still leaning against the door. You tilt your head back and take a deep breath as you slide in your hand in your panties. The fingers lightly touch against your wet core as you concentrate on Sunghoons demands, imagining that he is talking to you, that you are the woman he is messing around with in his bedroom. Your fingers slide in your pussy, imagining it is Sunghoon's cock roaming inside of you, stretching you out. While doing so, you use your thumb to massage your clit, bringing you closer to your release. It’s when you hear Sunghoons harsh demeanor switch to beautiful moans that you can’t take it anymore. As Sunghoon comes, so do you, making your hand completely coated with your own cum. What the fuck are you doing?You instantly get embarrassed, and run away as fast as possible to your friend's bedroom before you can get caught. The idea of washing your hands disappears when you hear the bedroom door open again.

It is five am, two hours after the ‘incident’, and you haven't slept throughout the whole night. How could you? The only thing you have thought about was the fact that you masturbated to your best friends dad, fucking. Not being able to wait for Yeri to wake up, you decide to go to the kitchen to eat something, and maybe wash your still cum-coated hand. Just as you were about to open the refrigerator, Sunghoon came out of the bathroom door. You turned around and instantly gaped at the sight. Sunghoon had just showered, only wearing a towel that was extremely low on his waist. He looks so sexy with his hair wet, and you can’t help but imagine what he would look like without that towel. "Y/n!" What are you doing this late?” He says looking at you embarrassed. She didn’t hear me earlier, right? Not being able to answer, you bite your lips and look down on your feet. You don’t know how to face him after you heard him earlier, and what you did while listening to him. He cocks an eyebrow, getting suspicious by the way you are acting and he walks towards you. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up before?” He says, trying to bite back a smile. “Ah, it’s okay…” you say, still looking down. This can’t possibly be happening right now. He gets closer to you now, so close you can smell the lavender soap he used while showering. “Oh so you did? Probably listened on purpose” He says and laughs teasingly, forgetting that you are his daughter's best friend, and not some random woman he met at the bar.

You look up at him to protest, only then noticing how close he is to you. Your hands come in front of your chest to bring some space between you and Sunghoon. “No I did not-”, before you can continue your pathetic statement, Sunghoon grabs your arm and lifts it up. He looks at your right hand, examines it, before to your surprise putting your fingers into his mouth. That was the fingers you touched yourself with earlier. You feel his tongue taste the cum of from your fingers. He takes out your fingers out of his mouth, licks his lips and looks at you with a teasing pout. “Aww did you touch yourself when you heard us? Did you get off? Did you finish?” He says, speaking to you as if you were a baby. You don’t know what you are going to say, deny? No, he already knows. Denying by now would only be foolish for you to do. It seems like the only thing for you to do is to stay quiet. The way you do not respond is enough for Sunghoon to understand the situation. He tilts his head to the side, using his other hand to tuck the hair behind your ear before grabbing your chin gently. Making sure to not hurt you.

“Don’t act so clueless, I know what filth you are reading. Your best friend's dad hm? How dirty of you.” You look up at him, biting your lips, almost trembling with fear for what he is about to do. What if you are not ready to live out the fantasies you almost always had about your best friend's dad. “You are so cute”. Sunghoon swipes his thumb over your bottom lip, gently, getting more rough by time with his touch. His thumb slowly enters your mouth, first playing with your bottom teeth, before making contact with your tongue. He looks at you with furrowed brows and an expression that could only be described as arousal.

His thumb is completely inside of your mouth, and you begin to suck on his thumb like it was his cock, looking up in his eyes. The rest of his hand is tightly grabbing your face, making you stuck on his thumb. He tilts his head back and sucks in his breath. “Just like that baby, soon you are ready for the big thing” He says teasingly. Suddenly you hear footsteps coming from Yeris' room. Quickly Sunghoon slides his thumb out of your mouth and runs back into the backroom. You quickly make your way to the refrigerator, acting naturally, looking for an early breakfast. Yeri steps into the kitchen and looks at you. “Are you seriously looking for food at five in the morning?”. You look back at her, kinda feeling bad since she doesn’t know what just happened. “Yeah, I got hungry.” You say, before grabbing yogurt from the fridge.

It’s Friday, two weeks after you sucked off Sunghoons thumb in his kitchen. Even though the natural thing to do after something like this is to avoid him at all cost, but since he is your best friend's dad, you can’t.

You are sitting with Yeri and Sunghoon in the kitchen by the table, eating dinner. Eating dinner with the Parks has always been something you enjoyed, but this is getting awkward. Sunghoon can’t even look at you, and you two have not been talking to each other since you got here. Not that Yeri seems to notice, she is all up in her own world talking about the latest anime she had seen. You try to concentrate on her word, doing your best to respond, but you can’t resist looking at her dad. You are such a horrible friend.

When you are done eating, you put the dishes in the sink. Normally both you and Yeri would help each other out with the dishes, but she chose to take a shower today instead of helping you. She claimed that she hasn’t showered for two days and needs her one hour shower immediately. You let her get away with it, this time at least, and decide to do the dishes yourself and be a good friend for once.

You are hand washing the plate clean, and drying it with a towel on the counter in front of you. The Parks keep their plates on the highest level of cabinet, which is difficult for you to reach, making you struggle. That is until you feel a hand grabbing the plate above your head, putting it in the right place. You already know who it is, and because of the incident that happened two weeks before, you don’t have the stomach to say anything. Your breath gets heavy, knowing that the figure behind you is your best friend's hot dad, making you weak in the knees just thinking about him. His hand suddenly appears on your waist. “It seemed like you needed help with the plate,” Sunghoon says while giving your waist a squeeze, earning you a small squeak. He leans into your neck and rubs his nose deep, smelling you, taking in your scent of adolescence. He parts his lips and gently places them on the back of your neck, gently kissing you up your neck to your ear. He bites your earlobe making you hiss. It’s all going extremely slow, and it’s obvious that he is teasing you. One of his hands is still on your waist, while the other is slowly going under your shirt creeping up your stomach, soon meeting your breast. Sunghoon is still kissing your neck when he grabs one of your tits, gently massaging it, occasionally giving it a squeeze which makes your back arch.

It's when you moan when Sunghoon suddenly stops, he takes his hands out of your shirt and puts them on your hips, still behind you. “We can’t do this y/n”. You look back at him. His face is flushed and his hair is messy. “You are my daughter's best friend. You are 18 years younger than me.” You are still looking at him, frustrated. You need him, now. You can't wait any longer. “No Sunghoon, Please, I need you to fuck me” You pathetically pleading to the older man. Suddenly his hold on your waist tightens and he pushes his clothed cock towards your ass, making you feel him. You gasp, pushing your ass back harder on his hard cock. “This is how you make me feel y/n, this. I can’t be around you. And doing this will only make it worse.” Despite his words he doesn’t stop grinding into you, af if he can’t. Only the feeling of his cock pressed on your ass is making you tilt your head back out of pleasure, leaning on his shoulder. You look up at him with pleading eyes “Please Hoon, I need you, I need your big cock”. He turns you around with force, making you face him. His big hand grabs both of your wrists pinning them above your head on the cabinet. His other hand pushes you up, being strong enough to make you sit on the counter just by the sink. Before you could say anything he grabs your chin and kisses you roughly. You let his tongue take completely over your mouth, and it almost hurts how wide your mouth is open. His tongue is deep in your mouth, showing dominance in not letting you breathe until he lets you.

He then pushes your mouth away from his, “Have you ever sucked someone off before, baby?” He says, his hand still pining your wrists. Not lying, you nod your head. He looks down at you and chuckles. “Of course you have, you dirty slut”. He says and lets go of your wrists, and pushes you on your knees in front of him. He unbuckles his belt, and drops down his pants to let his cock free. He is massive, and you can see the preecum leaking out of it. The sight makes your thighs squeeze together, something he noticed and loves. You look up at him, waiting for him to give you his orders, so you can follow him like his peasant. He smirks and licks his bottom lip, before biting it. He takes a fistfull of your hair, using it to control you and lower you towards his hard cock. You begin to lightly lick the tip, teasing him, before wrapping your mouth around the top of his cock. Sunghoon breathes out and tilts his head back “Ah, baby, just like that”. Looking up at him seeing how affected he gets by your mouth makes you even hornier, making you lean down on his cock even more. You remove his cock from his mouth to spit on it, which makes Sunghoon inpatient. He grabs our hair harder this time, and tilts your head up. “Open your mouth, slut” He says with a stern voice, and you follow his command. You open your mouth and he spits in it, making you moan at the ill treatment. You feel his spit sliding down your throat. He then slams his cock into your mouth, making you suck on it. He moans again at the feeling of your mouth, making you moan as well, vibrating his cock in your mouth.

Just as you think he is about to cum, he slides his dick out of you, and makes you stand up. “Why did you stop?” you plead, wanting him to use you as his mouth slut. He grabs your waist and makes you sit on the counter behind you. He takes off your shirt, as well as his, as you take off your pants. “I want to feel you before i cum”, His hand slides over your clothed pussy, and he can feel your wetness through the fabric. You tilt your head back, leaning against the cabinet. The feeling of his fingers lightly teasing your clothed clit makes you moan. “You want me to touch you that bad, baby?” he says and looks at you with big deer eyes. You whine out a yes, before his hand rips off your panties and touches your folds. “So wet for me already, did you get turned on that easily by sucking on daddy's cock?” The sight in front of him could make him cum alone. Your makeup is smudged, and your lips are covered in drool from all the sucking and kissing. Just the way you look at him, tells him how much you want him to get you off. His fingers finally slip into your tight hole, and you moan at the feeling. But it's not enough, you need his cock, and you need it before your best friend comes back.

“I need you Sunghoon, please I can’t wait any longer”, not having time to make fun of you, he has done that already by now, he quickly pulls his fingers out of you and brings his cock to your entrance.

He grabs his cock and slaps your pussy making you let out a loud groan. He knows he is massive, and makes sure to be extra careful with your fragile little body. You both let out a relieving moan at the same time as he pushes all of him into you. The feeling makes Sunghoon almost collapse, having to tilt his head on your shoulder. Your legs wrap around his waist to push him even more into you, making sure that you can take everything he has to offer. Because of the risk of getting caught, Sunghoon doesn’t waste a second before fucking himself into you, pushing his cock in and out of you in a rapid pase, almost too fast for you too handle. His hand is still by your neck, biting you to muffle any moans coming out of his plump lips hitting a sweet spot. This makes you moan, and grab his hair to stabilize yourself. Feeling close, you bring your hand down to draw circles on your clit. Sunghoon suddenly slaps your hand away to replace it with his own, making him do the work for you. Because of the foreplay, it’s not long until you cum, and by the time his hard steady thrusts become sloppier, and sloppier you know he is close too. He comes into your pussy, and slides his cock out of you, looking down at your drenched pussy leaking out his cum.

It’s then he looks at you with a stressed expression. “We need to clean up before Yeri comes back”. So that’s what you do. Sunghoon uses his shirt to clean you up, and help you put your clothes back on. You quickly do the dishes, getting help from Sunghoon putting it in the cabinet. After you have cleaned yourselves, and the kitchen, Sunghoon looks at you with regret in his eyes. “You didn’t do this because you felt pressured, did you? I’m older than you and would have easily taken advantage of you if I wanted to”. You look at him, smile, and walk up to him. You stand on your toes to reach up to his level and kiss his cheek, stabilizing yourself by putting your hands on his shoulders. You lean into his ear and whisper, “You are forbidden fruit Sunghoon, which happens to be my favorite flavor”

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I hoped you enjoyed this one-shot! Feel free to send requests. It can be everything from a one-shot request, to a hard thought that you want me to comment on 🥴.

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yelena-bellova · 2 years

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Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Strangers in the Night

Plot: Joel and Y/n try their hardest to ignore and avoid their past while waiting on the cover of night to leave the QZ.

Warnings: M for violence, gore, language, allusions to sex, alcohol, unwanted advances (16+)

Word Count: 6.9k

A/N: Okay, let me just say, did not expect such a big reaction to this little 2.2k fic I thought up randomly. You guys wanted a series, so here’s a series. It’ll be 16+ from here so please specify your age in your bio if you’d like to be tagged. I’m really excited to write this one, hope y’all enjoy it! It's gonna be a wild frickin' ride...

——————————

May 9th, 2002, Austin Texas

It was unseasonably warm for spring in Austin. Summer was making an early entrance and driving everyone indoors. The bars were packed each night, but especially on the weekends. Something about the heat always inspired people to drink more.

The Miller brothers were seated at a table in the far corner of Dane’s, each nursing a Budweiser. Despite it being a Saturday, they’d worked overtime on a garage apartment conversion. It was in Joel’s neighborhood and he needed the money. Jobs hadn’t been ripe for picking lately, in going the extra mile with the clients he did have, he could bank on a few referrals.

“We’re runnin’ short on the 2x4s,” Joel told his brother, “And it wouldn’t hurt to-“

“Dude,” Tommy made a slicing motion with his hand, “You’re off the clock. Switch off for a while.”

“I’m just trying to get ahead,” Joel replied.

Tommy smiled, lounging in his chair, “Look, you’ve got two modes: work mode and dad mode. And guess what? You never come out of either. It’s a Friday night, you’ve got a sitter, why not just try being a single, not-offensively unattractive, guy?”

Joel’s eyebrows were permanently furrowed, especially around conversations like this. Tommy meant well, but he’d been trying to get Joel to find something outside of work and his daughter for years. It wasn’t happening.

“So you’re sayin’ I should focus less on keeping a roof over my daughter’s head and makin’ sure she’s happy?” Joel asked, leaning back in his chair, “I get that right?”

Tommy chuckled and shook his head, “I’m just saying…you’re gettin’ more and more like an old man the longer you’re by yourself. Wouldn’t hurt to find someone that makes you happy.”

It was easy to ignore Tommy’s ramblings, but Joel couldn’t deny there was some truth to what he was saying. After Sarah’s mom up and left them, he kept his heart guarded from the world. Sarah and Tommy were the only ones he had the space to love. No, not the space. He had all the capacity in the world to hold someone else close to his soul, he was just too afraid of getting hurt again.

A few feet away at the bar, Y/n twirled her wine glass in her hand. Navigating a new city and a new job was taking it out of her. There had been no catalyst in her decision to move to Austin. She wasn’t running from a bad relationship nor did she need space from her family, she’d just wanted a change. So far, aside from the random heat wave, she was enjoying herself. The people were friendly, the neighborhood was quiet…she could see herself eventually calling the place home.

As she enjoyed her own company, a muscly man approached the seat next to her. He didn’t even do her the courtesy of asking if it was taken.

He flashed a pearly smile at Y/n, “Havin’ a good night?”

“Mm-hm,” she nodded, not looking up from her glass.

“Haven’t seen you around here,” the man continued, “You new to town?”

Y/n politely smiled, wishing he’d taken the hint. “Sure.”

“Findin’ your way around alright,” he put his elbows on the bar, indicating he wasn’t going anywhere, “Or are you thinkin’ you need a tour guide? Someone to show you around? Help make you feel a little more comfortable?”

Y/n was fighting the urge not to laugh, she’d seen dogs in heat more subtle than this guy. “I’m doing fine on my own, thanks,” she replied, her will to smile fading with each second he stayed.

“I don’t know,” the guy dragged his fingers up and down the condensation on his beer bottle, “You seem a little lost to me, darlin’. I got a hog outside, we could head out…night scene’s pretty wild here.”

Y/n took another sip of her wine, “Not really a wild kind of gal.”

The man’s lingering stare was beginning to make Y/n’s skin crawl. It was like he was staring straight through her clothes. He leaned in to her, his arm grazing hers, as if the close proximity was imperative to what he was about to say.

“I got this theory that inside every woman,” he lowered his voice, “There’s a wild girl just waitin’ to come out. She just needs the right cowboy,” he paused, a smile spreading across his lips, “To let her loose.”

Concealing her annoyance, Y/n looked down at her glass bashfully. She peeked back up out of her eyelashes, “What’s your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

“Jacob,” she repeated sweetly, leaning in closer to him, “Going around trying to prove how big your dick is ain’t gonna make any woman want to touch it.”

Jacob pulled back a little, shocked at both the comment and how easily being foul mouthed came to this woman. Y/n scrunched her nose and gave a sugary smile before moving to get up from her stool.

Jacob grabbed her shoulder, not prepared to lose the battle. “Hang on there, sweetheart.”

“Let go of me,” Y/n was quick to say.

“I don’t think you quite understand what I’m offerin’ you here…”

“Let,” Y/n gritted her teeth, raising her voice slightly, “Go of me.”

Jacob began to close the space between their faces, “What’re you gonna do if I ain’t ready to say goodbye to ya yet?”

“Hey.”

Y/n turned to the two men who had approached while she was fending Jacob off. The one with the mustache swung his fist and landed a shiner on Jacob’s nose. The whole bar gasped as he stumbled backwards, clutching his now bleeding face. The mystery man placed an arm in front of Y/n, making himself the barrier between Jacob’s advances and her safety.

Once Jacob caught his footing, revealing just how tipsy he was, he clumsily stalked back towards them. The second man stepped forward and effortlessly threw a punch to Jacob’s abdomen, knocking him off his feet and to the ground. The other patrons actually clapped and cheered at the knockout.

The man shielding Y/n and his friend grabbed Jacob’s arms and pulled him to his knees. Dane, the owner, came out from around the counter and marched towards the door. The men dragged Jacob through the bar, taking no care to his hands and feet as they knocked into chairs and tables. With Dane holding the door open, they threw him out, earning another round of cheers from the bar.

Y/n watched it all with a hand over her mouth. The whole thing had left her more anxious than she cared to admit.

Her two saviors made their way through the room, earning pats on the back from most of the patrons.

“Are you okay?” The man with the mustache asked when they reached her.

“Yeah,” Y/n answered, trying to hide how her hands was shaking, “Are you?”

“Not the worst we’ve seen,” the clean shaven guy smiled, flexing his bruised hand, “But I think you’re gonna have to take a shower to get that creep’s touch off ya.”

Y/n chortled, the feeling of his fingers digging into her skin hadn’t left yet. “I’m really sorry you had to step in,” she said earnestly, “I’m not great with following through on my smack talk.”

“Nah, you were holding your own,” the cheerier of the two men laughed.

“Hey, can I buy you guys a round?” Y/n asked, “It’s the least I can do.”

“There’s no need,” the quieter guy shook his head.

“No, I want to,” Y/n insisted, looking between the two of them.

The one who had done most of the talking so far was the first to relent. “Fine, but we’re spotting your next glass. Just to try and restore the ever-deteriorating reputation of men.”

Y/n laughed heartily for the first time of the night. She liked them.

“Hey, Dane,” the talkative man flagged down the bartender and turned to Y/n, “What’re you drinking?”

Y/n held up her dwindling glass of rosé.

“Another rosé for the rosebud,” the man finished, winking at Y/n in a way that felt more playful than flirtatious, “I’m Tommy, by the way.”

“Y/n,” she took his extended hand and shook it before turning to the other man.

“Joel,” he pressed his palm to hers.

Y/n smiled, her eyes lingering on the man as they shook hands. There was a peace to him that she already knew she liked.

Y/n ended up at Tommy and Joel’s table, each of them sipping a victory drink and talking up a storm. It was one of the easiest conversations any of them had ever had.

“So you just picked up one day and,” Tommy made a swooping gesture, “Came to Austin?”

Y/n shrugged, “Just needed a change.”

Tommy whistled, “That’s brave.”

“I mean, it’s Austin,” Y/n chuckled, “It’s not New York,” she took a sip of the free rosé, “What about you two?”

“Nah, we’ve been here forever,” Joel answered, holding his beer to his lips.

Tommy raised his bottle to his brother, “Can’t even get this fucker to take a vacation somewhere.”

“Workaholic or homebody?” Y/n asked.

Joel was inhaling to answer when Tommy spoke up, “Both.”

“Nothin’ wrong with working hard or staying home,” Joel replied, throwing back a swig.

“Nah,” Tommy replied, smirking, “Only when you do it.”

Joel glared out the sides of his eyes at his brother. Y/n laughed against the rim of her glass.

“Well,” Tommy leaned against the table, “If you ever need a tour guide, we’re at your disposal. We’ll show you the real grimy hole in the wall places. Best food or beer in the city are always in the places you’d least expect it.”

Contrary to Jacob’s thinly veiled advances, Y/n took Tommy and Joel for exactly how they presented themselves. They were funny, they were gentlemanly, and they were the first people in Austin she’d met who she felt truly comfortable around.

Joel, who was naturally more quiet than his brother, had never felt more lost for words. He was trying to keep himself in check considering the happenstance of their meeting, but all he wanted to do was look at Y/n. When she laughed, something inside his stomach twisted. When their eyes met, his chest tightened. There was something about being around this girl that felt very, very different than anyone else.

“Well,” Y/n checked her watch, catching the late hour, “I’ve got the morning shift tomorrow and I can’t be too hungover. Thank you both for the company and the wine,” she smiled at Joel, “It was a big improvement on how the night started.”

“Yeah, we’d better go too,” Joel announced, rising to his feet with Tommy, “Gotta get a head start tomorrow before the storm moves in.”

Tommy gestured to his big brother, smiling at Y/n, “What’d I tell you?”

“I gotta side with your brother here,” Y/n smiled, scrunching her face a little, “Everyone needs a break. That’s kinda what weekends are for”

“See?” Tommy said, “Maybe you’ll listen to her.”

Joel was on the verge of busting out in to a grin. “Not my problem if you two are lazy,” he shot back.

Y/n and Tommy each gaped with laughter. Joel smiled, he’d wanted to hear her laugh one more time before they parted.

“Well, you two have restored the name of ‘men’ quite admirably,” Y/n grabbed her purse, “Thank you for what you did, really. If you hadn’t stepped in, tonight would have ended much worse.”

Tommy shook his head, “Don’t mention it. Just learn how to throw a punch,” he slapped his hand against Joel’s shoulder, “And I think we’ll both sleep better at night.”

“I’ll get on that,” Y/n chuckled. She wasn’t sure if it was the kinship she felt or the rosé had simply relaxed her, but she reached over to Tommy and gave him a one-armed hug.

“See ya around, Rosebud,” Tommy said, keeping his hand respectfully high up on her shoulders.

“See ya,” Y/n replied, pulling back to look at Joel. She wasn’t sure what she expected to happen, only that she wanted to memorize his face before she left. “Goodnight,” she said with a small smile.

Joel tried to ignore how his heart was thudding in his chest. “‘Night,” he replied.

His eyes followed her all the way to the door, till she stepped out into the steamy evening air. He wasn’t sure why he had to urge to follow her.

“You,” Tommy gripped Joel’s shoulder a little tighter, “Are fucked.”

Joel rolled his eyes at his little brother’s laughter, “The hell’re you talking about?”

Tommy fell back down in his chair, a hand resting on his chest, “You were fuckin’ smitten with her.”

“‘Smitten?’” Joel cringed, taking his seat and his beer, “What’re you, 14?”

“Fine, hot for, taken with, enamored, mesmerized,” Tommy chuckled, “Whatever you wanna call it…you liked her.”

Joel shrugged and took another drink, “‘Course I liked her. You liked her too.”

“Not like you,” Tommy shook his head, still grinning, “I think she liked you too.”

Pushing down the way his stomach jumped when Tommy said that, he glanced over at the door again. He looked back to the table, checking to see if she’d left anything. Maybe she’d have to come back. What would he do if she did? Would he ask for her number? Or was that too forward? He didn’t want anything he did to remind her at all of the asshat they’d tossed out-

“She didn’t leave anything, dude.”

Tommy’s voice brought Joel out of his thoughts. He hadn’t realized how long he’d been staring at Y/n’s empty seat. There was no reason for her to come back.

“You’re fucked,” Tommy brought the conversation full circle, patting his brother’s shoulder and taking a drink.

Joel hid his disappointment, just like his infatuation; well, but not well enough. He looked down at his bottle, “Doesn’t matter. We’re not gonna see her again.”

Tommy shrugged, “Austin ain’t that big.”

Outside, Y/n was making the three minute walk down the street to her apartment complex. Her mind was no longer focused on the douche whose name she was already forgetting, all she could think of was how Joel smiled like he had a secret. How his laughter was reserved only for when he found something hilarious. How whether he was sitting beside his brother or punching out a handsy creep, he was completely relaxed. How his brown eyes were so warm, one gaze into them had given her goosebumps…

Y/n shook her head at herself, completely thrown for a loop. One encounter with one guy and she felt like there was some invisible string tugging harder with every inch of distance she put between herself and the bar. The chances of bumping into Tommy and Joel again in a city as big as Austin were slim. It was a reality she had to face. It was just one of those meetings that left you feeing like you’d experienced true magic. She was saddened at the thought of never sitting across from Joel again.

Into the night, with a total distance of seven minutes unbeknownst between them, Joel and Y/n each retired and prepared for their respective early mornings. Joel paid the neighbor who’d watched Sarah, Y/n called and checked in on her sister, who’d just had a baby. Joel kissed his daughter goodnight, Y/n finished up a load of laundry. They each changed into their pajamas, brushed their teeth, and turned out the lights. It was then, in the sweet space between sleep and consciousness that they let their minds drift back to each other….

—————————

2023, Boston

Of course it was raining. Rain made everything easier.

Joel, Tess, Y/n and Ellie trudged through the streets of what was once downtown Boston. Y/n kept a hand on Ellie’s back at all times, untrusting of both the people around them and the ones they were traveling with.

Even with the utter chaos they were in the middle of, Y/n’s mind was overtaken by the holes being burned into the back of her head. Joel’s stare was unfaltering. She wanted to turn around and scream at him, but that would garner the attention they were trying so hard not to attract. That was fine, she had more than enough anger and more than enough time to let him feel it.

Joel, whose every move was made with vigilante like precision, was struggling to keep his thoughts in order. The past was so easy to put behind you when you never had to look at it. Faced with the person who knew it all, had seen it all…the second he’d laid eyes on Y/n, it had all come flooding back. He had to get himself in check. Y/n’s unfiltered hatred was helping him there.

They made it to Joel and Tess’ apartment without any trouble, the four of them filing down the narrow hallway. Y/n pulled as far away from Joel as possible while they waited for Tess to unlock the door, which wasn’t very far. Once it was open, Joel impatiently waved for Ellie to enter, saving the same glare for Y/n. Ellie entered apprehensively, while Y/n knew enough to know that they were Joel and Tess’ leverage. Without them, they couldn’t get their battery. They were safe, for the time being.

“Give us a minute, all right?” Tess stated more than asked, heading back out to the hall.

“What the fu-“ Ellie started, the door silenced the last two letters.

Y/n put a finger to her lips, standing beside the door and listening to the other side of the door. Tess and Joel were discussing which route to take, something that infuriated her. There was only one child in their party, she refused to let Joel make her anything other than an equal.

She threw down her backpack and threw the door open. “If you two are planing on excluding me from the planning side of things, let me know now so I can strangle you both,” she said, smiling sweetly.

“You wanna tell us what we’re really doing with this kid?” Tess fired back.

“Not particularly,” Yn replied.

“Then you don’t get a voice here,” Tess looked to Joel, “We leave after dark. Stay with them.”

Joel took a step forward as his partner walked off, “Wait, why do I have to — Tess! Tess!”

Tess turned the corner of the hall without ever breaking stride.

Joel sighed loudly, eventually looking over to Y/n.

“She’s lovely,” Y/n snarked, earning a signature Miller scowl.

Joel nodded towards the door and Y/n slipped back inside, he kept an overly safe distance between them. Y/n unzipped her backpack and grabbed her first aid kit, sitting down at Joel’s table to tend to her bullet wound. Joel shrugged off his pack and threw himself on the couch. Ellie was splitting the distance between them, holding a large book in her hands.

“So,” the girl started, “Who’s Bill and Frank?”

Joel looked up confused, as if he couldn’t imagine how she could have possibly heard anything from the other side of the door.

“Oh, come on, Tool Time,” Y/n chortled, as she opened the bottle of disinfectant, “This whole place is paper thin.”

“The radio’s a smuggling code, right?” Ellie asked, “60s song, they don’t have anything new. 70s, they got new stuff. What’s 80’s?”

Joel got off the couch and ripped the book out of Ellie’s hands, throwing it to the side. He glanced over at Y/n, who was struggling to keep her grunts quiet as she cleaned her wound. A twinge of pain ran through his chest as she scrunched up her face, trying to keep her breaths steady. His fingers automatically twitched to help her, but it wouldn’t actually help anyone. Instead, he fought his instincts walked back to the couch and laid down.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked.

“Killin’ time,” Joel said, his drawl particularly noticeable.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure that out,” his eyes were already closed, just like the conversation.

Y/n began to use a q-tip to spread antiseptic cream over the wound, the cooling sensation dulling the pain.

Ellie took back the book and walked past Joel, “Your watch is broken.”

Four little words froze Y/n, hunched over the table with her supplies. She didn’t have to look to know that Joel’s eyes were open again. It was the second time today that they’d been perfectly in sync. The first was pulling their guns on one another and, to be honest, Y/n would have preferred to stare down the barrel of his pistol. Bullets were simple and easy to dodge, memories were more cunning and hurt significantly more.

Y/n finished dressing her wound, zipping the kit back up and throwing it in her backpack. She laid her jacket out to dry on the back of the chair and finally took a good look at her surroundings. She couldn’t have chosen a place more opposite to Joel’s 3-bed 3-bath in Austin. The floors creaked, the walls were stained, and the ceilings were uncomfortably low. Home was a fluid concept in the world they lived in, and the kind Y/n was thinking of was lost entirely.

“He’s fun,” Ellie grunted from her seat at the window.

Y/n scoffed, “You have no idea.”

If they’d be using the cover of night to travel, Y/n knew Joel had the right idea to sleep now. She pulled out a sweater from her backpack, bunched it up and set it on the ground across from the couch. Without any blankets, she made the call that a nearby rug would be the next best thing. She shook it out and placed it below the sweater.

“Try and get some sleep,” Y/n instructed Ellie, “You’re gonna need it.”

Ellie simply hummed and continued paging through the book. Y/n slipped under the dirty rug and sighed, she’d slept in worse places for much longer…

She took the moment of peace to finally take a good look at Joel. His eyebrows still furrowed as he slept, as if he was in a constant state of disapproval with the world. The rest of his face was softer, a strange contrast, but so very him. His chest rose and fell in a perfect rhythm. It was hard for Y/n not to remember how it felt to lay with her ear against his heart, lifting and lowering with him…

The QZ was small, and stories got around. Y/n had known for a while that Joel was in Boston. She’d also heard the stories of the things he’d done, the people he’d killed, and just how far he’d go to guarantee his survival. Despite not owing him anything, Y/n had refused to believe them. She adamantly denied the possibility that she could have ever loved a man capable of such hideous acts. The Cordecyps had changed them all in different ways, but she had to believe that Joel was still Joel…

————————————

“Hey.”

A mumble and a boot kick to the shoulder had Y/n startling awake. She rolled over to see Ellie, still sitting by the window with the book in her lap.

“How do you know him?”

Y/n squinted and sat up, her joints cracking as she stretched her limbs. The sky outside was pitch black, clearly she’d needed more sleep than she thought.

“He’s an…” she began to say, the complexity of the situation hitting her all over again. There was only one answer to give that wouldn’t invite any more questions. “I was friends with his brother a long time ago.”

Ellie’s seemed to accept it, “Where’re you from?”

“Texas.”

The girl’s eyes widened, “You lived in Texas?”

“Just for a little while,” Y/n replied, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes,

Ellie looked down at her hands and then out the window, “I’ve never been out that far.”

Y/n sighed, thinking about what it might be like to grow up never having known what the world used to be like. “You’re not missing much, kid,” she lied. She’d have gone back to Austin in a heartbeat, if it was at all possible.

“What’s ‘rosebud?’”

Y/n’s body went cold, as if she’d just been plunged into ice water, memories slamming into her like waves. A glass of rosé and belly laughter, a backyard game of football, soft lips whispering sweet nothings against her ear…

She looked over at Ellie calmly, “What?”

The girl nodded towards Joel, who was still peacefully sleeping. “He kept mumbling the word ‘rosebud,’” she replied, “Thought maybe it was a code word or something.”

It did serve as a codeword, containing secrets, laughter, and all the love that had once existed in Y/n’s world. Now the mere utterance cut her worse than any blade could.

“If it is,” Y/n got to her feet, not wanting to be anywhere near the word, “I don’t know what it means.”

Joel woke then, startling without any real physicality. He stared up at the ceiling, dazed from his dreams. No, nightmares. That’s what they were.

“You mumble in your sleep,” Ellie said, announcing her presence, “Something about ‘rosebud.’”

If that didn’t wake him up, nothing could. His eyes flitted across the room, looking for the woman who owned every inch of the word. When Joel couldn’t find her, he pushed up on one arm and found her sitting at his kitchen table with her back turned to him.

In his subconscious, he’d seen her as she used to be. Her eyes full of light, her smile like pure sunshine, laughter pouring out of her with a freedom so few people allowed themselves. He’d felt her soft skin against his, felt her lips pressed to his jawline, right between his neck and his ear. He’d known her for the first time in twenty years, only to wake up and find her ghost.

Joel swung his legs over the couch and rose, his knees and back aching. Getting older in a post-apocalyptic world felt extra cruel. He ventured over to the table, ready to test the waters and see just how bad of a time he was in for.

Y/n sighed in annoyance as Joel took the chair next to her. She needed distance she wasn’t going to get, from him and all that he reminded her of.

They sat in the most awkward silence either of them had ever known.

Joel was the first to break it, “You get some sleep?”

Y/n glared out the corner of her eyes at him, the first words he spoke to her after their confrontation and that was the first thing he said?

Joel’s chest tightened at her poisoned stare, he wasn’t going to get an answer. “Wound okay?”

“This whole thing’ll go a lot easier if you stop pretending to give a shit about me,” Y/n said quietly, the sharpness of her tone cutting through the volume, “We both know you don’t.”

The walls weren’t coming down. Joel knew that. He didn’t want them down. But after seeing her, full of energy and joy, he had to check and see if there was any bit of that woman left. His eyes scanned her skin, so many scars and scrapes where there had once been a smooth surface. Her hair was dry, streaks of oil laced like highlights through the strands. Her nails were chipped and caked with dirt underneath. But most noticeably, there were two prominent frown lines across her cheeks. That let Joel know that the woman he’d once loved was absolutely gone.

“What happened to Tommy?” Y/n asked. She couldn’t help herself, but she kept her tone frosty.

“Sent a message three weeks back,” Joel answered, his fist fidgeting against the table, “Haven’t heard anything.”

Y/n didn’t want to take any strolls with Joel down memory lane, but Tommy was…Tommy. She couldn’t deny that she still cared about him deeply. “Do you know where he is?”

“Wyoming,” Joel answered, looking past her eyes at the wall. He didn’t think he could handle speaking about his brother to her, of all people.

“Oh,” she said, “So you’re completely crazy now.”

That earned her a hardened gaze, as if Joel had anything else for her.

“I’ve never been on the other side of the Wall,” Ellie spoke up, “Look how dark it is.”

Y/n got up first, smoothing her tank top back down and leaning against the wall near the door. Joel followed, retaking his seat on the couch. They both pondered the same thing separately: how much life Ellie had missed out on just by being born in the wrong decade.

“You guys go out there a lot?” Ellie asked Joel.

“I guess,” he answered.

“When was the last time?”

“Maybe a year,” Joel quickly replied, he wasn’t enjoying all the questions, “What’s it matter?”

“But you know where to go,” Ellie clarified, looking too much like a kid, “So we’re gonna be okay.”

It was a fair question, and Joel couldn’t fault her for being scared. Fear was all she’d ever known.

“Yeah,” he answered, significantly softer than his last one.

Y/n’s eyes grazed the window, spotting the plastic butterfly that clung to the glass. After all these years, Joel had managed to keep it. It took all the self-discipline she had not to let her tears fall.

“So what’s the deal with you anyway,” Joel asked Ellie, “You some kind of bigwig’s daughter or somethin’?”

Both Ellie and Y/n knowingly smirked to themselves. “Something like that,” Ellie replied, “Oh, the radio came on while you were sleeping.”

“What?” Joel snapped to attention, leaning forward, “What was the song?

“He kept sayin’ like, “wake me up before you go-go?” Ellie answered, making Y/n and Joel feel much much older.

Joel knew what that meant, and it was nothing good. “Shit,” he whispered to himself.

Ellie’s smirk spread across her face, “Gotcha. 80’s means trouble. Code broken.”

Joel got to his feet, having used his patience up earlier in the day. “Listen-“

Y/n was between him and Ellie in a flash, sticking out a hand towards Joel. She was off limits, even for a light scolding. Luckily, the door opened up before anything could be said. Tess had returned.

“The spot under Lancaster looks good,” she reported, turning to Ellie after, “You got a jacket in your pack?”

“Yeah,” Ellie responded.

“Okay, get it. It’s time to go.”

Y/n stuffed her sweater back in backpack and went to retrieve her now-dry jacket. It had been a long time since she’d gone outside of the QZ, she couldn’t decide whether she was terrified or happy to step outside the fence.

Joel on the other hand felt like he couldn’t move. Between the fear over his brother’s safety, being close to Y/n once again and the daunting task ahead of them, he wanted to pause it all for a moment. Tess throwing his jacket at him was a good reminder that he didn’t get to take minutes.

As Y/n went to the window to check Ellie, her eye caught the butterfly in the window again. Much like ‘Rosebud,’ there was another name that she never said. She could practically see it weaved into the fine details of the creature, the bright blue against the dark black. When Joel’s back was turned. Y/n pulled the cling off the window and shoved it in her backpack. If they were going to do this, she needed to feel strong enough to do it. She’d give it back to Joel and face his wrath when the deed was done.

The four of them made it out and into the underground tunnels, landing in a lesser frequented area of the QZ. Joel climbed out first and scanned their surroundings, helping to pull Ellie out after. Y/n came through next, though Joel knew better than the extend his hand to her, and finally, Tess.

“Holy shit,” Ellie remarked, spinning around to take it all in, “I’m actually outside.”

Not half a second later, a helicopter made its round over them, searchlights shining off it. Tess pulled Ellie in and crouched behind a large piece of debris.

“Okay, we’re gonna take the left edge around the buffer zone,” Tess explained, “You stay close and you follow my lead.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Ellie nodded in understanding, glancing over to Y/n as if to get approval. Y/n nodded back, placing momentary trust that Tess would protect the girl.

“Same goes for you,” Joel said from beside her, his voice low.

Y/n glared over her shoulder, “I really don’t think you want me where you can’t see me.”

“Let’s go,” Tess ordered.

The four of them crawled under an abandoned school bus with Joel bringing up the rear. Walking while crouched was hard, but they managed their best and paused behind a car when a FEDRA patrol vehicle passed by. Once it was clear, they made their way through a rusted, metal pipe, stopping when the chopper passed over them again. Y/n caught a peek at Ellie’s face as the light shone on them, she looked terrified. Through her own nerves, Y/n reached over and took Ellie’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Joel watched the whole thing, if he wanted a glimpse of the woman he’d once known, he’d gotten it. Her heart was still there.

Their team hurried out of the pipe, rushing to hide behind another big piece of debris. A storm was starting, the lightning acting as temporary lighting for their path. Joel was leading the way when their presence was detected.

“Hey,” a FEDRA soldier shouted, “Hey! Don’t, don’t, don’t move.”

Joel hurriedly looked around for more, pushing Ellie behind him. He held his hands up in surrender, along with Y/n, Ellie and Tess. If they wanted to get out of this, they needed to play along.

The FEDRA soldier opened the visor of his helmet, getting a look at Joel. “You gotta be shittin’ me…”

“Okay, let’s talk this out,” Joel said calmly.

“Turn around,” the soldier ignored him.

“Hold on-“

“Get on your fuckin’ knees,” the soldier yelled, “Get on your fuckin’ knees!”

Joel wasn’t giving up, “Now, hold on-“

“What did I fuckin’ tell you, man? I said stay the fuck home,” he pointed to the ground, “Get on your knees!”

Y/n knew if he fought any harder, he was going to get them all killed. Taking matters into her own hands, she dropped. “Ellie,” she said calmly, “Get down.”

“Just get on your knees,” Tess said to Joel, “Just get on your knees.”

Joel listened and kneeled between Ellie and Tess, turning his back to the soldier. Ellie finally followed Yn’s directions and got down next to Y/n.

“Listen, you let us do this run,” Tess bargained, “We’ll split the cards with you.”

The soldier wasn’t having it, “Oh, will you?”

Y/n’s breaths quickened, knowing their chances of escape were slim. There had to be something to do. If she gave herself up, would he let Tess and Joel leave with Ellie? She didn’t particularly feel like dying, but Ellie was too important to compromise. They could get her the rest of the way.

“Hands on your head, eyes forward,” the soldier instructed. It was the eyes forward bit that bothered Joel the most. They wanted to control what they couldn’t even see.

“Hands on your head,” the soldier screamed, startling them all into doing it. He came up behind Tess, holding a device to her neck. Checking to see if they were infected.

Y/n’s heart stopped in her chest. Shit.

“Really, man?” Tess complained.

The soldier was undeterred, “Yep, we’re doin’ this by the book.”

Ellie nudged Y/n with her boot, signaling she knew what was coming. Y/n wasn’t sure how to offer her any assurance that they’d be okay.

“Unauthorized exit,” the soldier reported, “They’ll hang you for that.”

“Fine,” Joel tried again, “Everythin’ off this run and half off of all the pills.”

Their voices faded in Y/n’s ears. If she could move quick enough, she could spin around and shoot the soldier before he knew what was happening. It would give Tess and Joel a few seconds to get away.

Before Y/n could make a decision, Ellie stole her move and stabbed the soldier in the leg.

“Ellie!” Y/n and Tess cried in unison.

The soldier was momentarily dazed, stumbling backwards and trying to figure out where the injury was. Y/n took the opportunity to shove Ellie behind her. Joel did the same, jumping to his feet and standing in front of Y/n. It was pure instinct.

“Get out of the fuckin’ way,” the soldier yelled, aiming his gun past the adults.

Joel could talk his way out of a lot, but this looked grim. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.

“We can fix this,” he tried, holding up his hands as a barrier between them and the soldier.

The soldier was done listening to their pathetic attempts. “Move.”

Joel didn’t budge.

“Move.”

Y/n had been on the recieving end of a lot of guns, held by people who thought that God had abandoned the post-apocalyptic warland and it was their job to fill His seat. But the military regulated weaponry, the uniform, the expressionless face that wouldn’t fill with guilt the moment its body pulled the trigger.

It transported her back twenty years.

And she knew Joel was there with her.

He surged forward, letting out a gutteral cry as he tackled the soldier to the ground. He climbed atop him, pinning him, and began to throw one merciless punch after the other. The crunching of bone and squishing of flesh formed an awful, perfect, rhythm.

While Ellie watched and felt something awaken within her, Y/n felt something die. She watched the man she’d known in her past life as loving and tender become a necessary monster. People thought mourning was only for those who left the earth, but there were plenty of dead souls still breathing. If there was any debate as to whether or not her version of Joel Miller was truly gone, the proof was now and forever burned into Y/n’s mind. Someone else now inhabited in his body.

When the job was done, Joel sat heaving over the man’s body, looking down at his bloody and bruised fist. It was the closest he could ever come to avenging her. When he looked up, his eyes first fell on Ellie, who didn’t seem to mind the violence at all. It seemed she actually liked it.

Y/n’s eyes told a different story.

A well-timed lightning strike lit her up, and Joel saw tears pooling below her y/e/c pupils. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, anxiety mixing with terror. Joel knew exactly what she was thinking about him and for a singular second, he felt guilt. He felt guilt for causing her pain, for forcing her to see him as anything other than the man she’d known.

It passed as quick as it came. It had to.

Tess grabbed the dropped scanner and read the bright red screen. Y/n hurried back to the present pulled Ellie by her jacket away from Tess.

“No, no,” Ellie yelled, “No, I’m not sick!”

“Joel,” Tess called, beginning to panic.

“She’s not sick,” Y/n backed Ellie up, “She’s clean!”

“Joel,” Tess yelled again, putting space between Y/n and her.

Ellie pulled her jacket sleeve up to reveal her arm, “Look! Look! This is three weeks old! Nobody lasts more than a day! Does this look a day old to you?”

Tess examined the bite site, it looked more like a bad scar than an infectious wound.

“You would have fuckin’ killed me!” Ellie said in horror.

“I should fucking kill you,” Tess bit back, looking up at Y/n, “What the hell’s Marlene trying to pull?!”

“It’s true,” Y/n said, keeping one hand over her pistol in case Tess didn’t listen, “She’s clean.”

She looked past Tess’ shoulder and over to Joel, who was still watching her. It was a long shot to get him of all people to listen to her, but now, she was happy to bank on their history in hopes that he’d believe her.

“I swear it,” Y/n held a hand up, her eyes digging into Joel’s, begging for him to not raise his gun.

Joel stopped short at Y/n’s vulnerability, he was shaken in every direction just from the last thirty seconds. He felt his will to argue with her slipping away.

“They’re gonna catch us if we don’t run,” Ellie stated, she wasn’t wrong. They could argue elsewhere and keep their lives.

“Joel, we gotta move,” Tess called, interrupting the stare-off between Y/n and him, “We gotta move, Joel.”

Ellie and Tess were already making their way to the fence, but Y/n and Joel stayed a second longer. Neither one had much credibility with the other, not after the last time they’d been together. But at the moment, Joel had two choices. He could either die at FEDRA’s hands, or he could follow the woman he’d once trusted most in the world and believe her one more time.

He chose the latter, though he was far from believing.

Joel picked up the soldier’s rifle and gestured for Y/n to move, the two of them ran after Tess and Ellie, who were already slipping through a hole in the chained fence. Y/n pushed through it, coming to stand on the other side of the QZ’s limits and pausing for Joel. She knew he trusted her as far as he could throw her and she wasn’t totally confidant in turning her back to him. She waited till he came through and the two of them ran after Tess and Ellie, into the night and into the unknown…

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