#at this point I should just make video clips my brand

[tonycries]

Freak On The Cam! - C.K.

Synopsis. Choso always loved watching you - his pretty lil’ camgírl - from behind the screen. Who knew he’d love being on-screen with you even more?

Pairing. Choso Kamo x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, camgírl! reader, spítting, Choso has rings and piercings, first times + loss of vírginity (Choso’s), oral (fem receiving), exhíbitionism, DOWN BAD Choso, cúmplay, use of “ma’am”, Sukuna is a menace, víbrators, light jealousy (Choso’s), some HEINOUS things, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 6.5k

A/N. Meant to post this last week but hehe here we are. Also I’ve GOT to stop using Unc-kuna so much lmao.

“Wanna see a movie or do you wanna make one?”

Choso was screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. So badly, in fact, that he might as well just wipe off every trace of himself online and go into hiding - preferably forever.

All because he had been so stupidly careless as to leave his phone unattended for exactly 1 minute and 47 seconds around Sukuna. 

In the time it took Choso to raid the kitchen for his favorite brand of cereal, his uncle had managed to open his Twitter (because “that’s where all the juicy stuff is”), stalk your pretty page at the very top of his last searched, and send a god-awful pick-up line that would probably get him blocked. Or worse.

Damnit, he knew he shouldn’t have made his password Yuji’s birthday.

“Ya should be thankful I didn’t DM her myself, brat.” Sukuna chuckles, not even a shred of regret in his tone, way too amused with how Choso was frantically trying to tackle the phone out of his hands. “What’s the harm in asking? Such a pretty camgirl, n’ you look like you need some good pu-”

“She’s also my classmate.”

“Kinky. Even better.” 

No, not “even better”. God, this must be some kind of cosmic joke, and Choso just wished the Earth would swallow him up whole right now - and maybe his phone along with it too. 

It had taken him almost a whole semester to work up the courage to just sit next to you during your shared lecture. All gorgeous with your bright smiles, and your smart mouth. And Choso was very much content to admire you from afar - and from behind his phone screen, of course.

Never following, never liking. Never tipping you off as one of your hundreds of thousands of fans.

And now, not only had Sukuna revealed that he’d found your secret Twitter account - the one with those sinful little clips of yourself that had Choso opening the app way too much - he’d also propositioned you. Like some creep.  

“Ugh. This is why women hate you.” Still desperately grappling, he spits out more to himself than Sukuna at this point. “B-besides, she’s never even gonna respond any-”

Ping!

And the Itadori household had never been quieter. Never, on a random Saturday during spring break. Never, as the two men crowd the phone, jaws dropped and staring wordlessly at the singular message on screen. You. 

“Let’s make one ;)”

---

“So s’not a stream this time, jus’ a video. Is that okay?”  You hum from your desk, glancing at the man seated on your bed as he hastily nods along with whatever you said. Looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. 

Weird. 

It had only been a few days of back and forth since you’d gotten that first text - the one that you’d honestly thought about blocking like the thousands of others. But there was just something about it that made you stop, something that had you clicking on the profile to delve a little deeper.

It hit you like a semi-truck back then - five of them, in fact - that this was someone in your class. Someone you knew. How the hell did he even find this account? 

You knew Choso as that sweet - albeit slightly gloomy - kid that sat next to you, always quick with his answers and even quicker to look away from your gaze, no matter how hard you tried to spark a conversation. You’d just guessed he was afraid of you or something.

So nothing could’ve prepared you for how ridiculously attractive he looked in that profile picture, all smug grins and dark locks falling effortlessly around his slightly smudged eyeliner. Shirtless, giving just a peak of- oh god, were those nipple piercings?  

Could you really be blamed? You just had to have him.

But, here - it was like he was just itching to run away at the first chance he got. 

“You’re not held at gunpoint, y’know.” you giggle at how he startles at the mere sound of your voice. The mattress dips as you stop fiddling with the camera to sit next to him, thighs flush against his muscled ones. “Are you sure you want-”

“Yes.” 

It seems that both of you were surprised by the abrupt response. Too quick. Choso clears his throat, cheeks flaring as he tries to dredge up some semblance of dignity, he drawls lightly. “I mean- Yes.”

You study him for a moment under the dim lighting, noting the way his hands clench and unclench in his lap, the way his chest rises and falls rapidly as he struggles to control his breathing. He was nervous. Nervous and horny - nothing quite like the suave impression his pick-up line gave off. 

But so irresistible just the same.

“Well…Cho.” you bat your lashes, voice dropping to a seductive whisper - not too heavy, for now at least. “Then why won’t you even look at me?”

Alas, Choso was not a strong man. 

Maybe at your words, maybe at that playful little nickname you gave him, he’s finally raising those dark eyes to look at you. Twinkling with- fear? anticipation? A flicker of something so dangerous as his gaze sweeps greedily over that tight dress you put on just for this occasion. 

Choso tries to ignore how sinfully it hugs all your curves. Or the way it would look a million times better on the floor. 

This was absolute torture. 

And God he thinks he could pass out right then and there as you lean in closer. Too close. The temperature in the room suddenly increasing by about 10 degrees as you purr, tone careful and balanced. “Much better. And now…” 

His breathing becomes heavier, eyes flickering downwards. Once. Twice. 

And you know you’ve got him in the palm of your hand. 

“...all you gotta do is touch me.”

Yeah, if Choso thought he was going to pass out before then he definitely wasn’t ready for those dangerous little words. Ones that have him shaken right to the core - fighting that urge to just take you how he’s imagined all those lonely nights.

“You- huh?” he lets out a shaky laugh, the sound strained as he crosses his legs with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, desperately trying to will away the blood rushing straight to his throbbing cock right now. 

But how could he? Not when you only shift closer, barely even a hair’s breadth between you two - relishing in his strangled gasp as your tits press so enticingly against his arm. Such an adorable pout playing on your lips as you mutter, “Do you not want to?”

And he did. Oh, how he did - has been imagining it for the past five months, in fact. And Choso lets you know, a little twenty times, actually, as the words spill panickedly from his lips. 

“-idiot trying to set me up and I’ve been dreaming of fucking you for so long but I’m just-” Heat rushes to Choso’s cheeks, as he abruptly shuts the fuck up. But it’s too late - the damage has been done.

You give him a wry smile, lips mere inches from his ear. “Just what?”

His breath hitches, muscles rippling so deliciously as he shudders beneath your touch. “I’m a-” Choking out - as if it physically hurts to  admit - “-virgin.”

Oh. 

Now, you might’ve expected many things - but certainly not this. Though, looking at the cute flush on the tips of his ears, all the way down to those big, needy eyes, you don’t mind. Not one bit.

With one, quick glance at the rolling camera - your mouth is moving before your mind. “Do you want me to…do something about it?”

And then it’s like something snapped. 

You don’t know who leans in first, just that Choso’s kissing you. And you’re kissing him - how could you not? 

Because goddammit it was always those pretty lips that you were staring at whenever he was spouting off answers in class. You just never expected he’d be kissing you back with such an infectious desperation. 

No sooner are you thinking about how sweet his lips are before he’s pulling away with a soft sigh, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses down your jaw. Your neck. Back to your lips like he wanted everything and anything.

You gasp licks a long, languid stripe up your neck - maybe at how utterly obscene it felt, maybe at that sharp cold feeling that makes you flinch. Fuck - a tongue piercing? The noise makes Choso’s mouth drop into a quick oh! surging forward to claim your lips again. Addicted. 

Only to be stopped by your hands cupping his face, letting out a pained grunt at how he was so close. Just a hair’s breadth away from your lips.

“Cho~ Open your mouth, baby.” you whisper, hotly. 

And he looked so pretty - dark hair askew, lower lip swollen and quivering with need, brows furrowing because he wanted more of your taste. But he obeys, of course he does, Choso thinks he’ll do anything you asked. And lo and behold, sitting right there in the middle of his tongue was a pretty silver piercing.

You just can’t help but thumb open his mouth further, looking him right in the eyes as you spit in his mouth. Once. Twice. 

“Bet no one else has done this before, huh?” Grinning at how sinfully Choso’s eyes roll to the back of his head at your taste, “Kiss me proper now.”

God, you were so good at throwing away whatever was left of his poor sanity. And it’s all that’s said before his kiss-bitten lips are crashing into yours again. 

“No. No one’s hah- done that before. Only you.” he’s panting into your open mouth, swirling his tongue with yours. “F-fuck only you. Only you only you-”

You barely even realize the way you’re on his lap now, sitting so prettily there that Choso half-deliriously wonders whether he should take a picture. Mind spinning too much with his throbbing erection under your drenched panties, a damp little patch at his fat tip. So hot and heavy already.

“Cho, do you want me to-”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You certainly don’t have to be told twice - especially with that little nickname. Fiddling with his belt, you’re so hazy with want - the need to taste Choso, to see if the rest of him was as sweet as his lips - that you almost miss the look of confusion that flashes across his face.

You bat your lashes at him almost-innocently, “You alright?” And Choso thinks he could cum right there and right now at the sight. If he wasn’t currently battling for his life, that is. 

“Yeah, s’jus’- what I wanted hah- was to…” His hands sneak down, cupping your heated pussy through your drenched panties. “-taste her. ”

“Oh?”

“Are y’gonna teach me how?”

Oh. Fuck.

You know you’re fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

Only moments later, Choso’s wrestling you back onto the mattress, face-to-face with your sloppy pussy. So mean with the way he was pinning your hips down with one hand, all but ripping your panties off with the other. 

You feel his piercing before his tongue. Both the hot and cold so maddening on your cunt as Choso licks long, lazy stripes up your puffy folds - dragging his hot tongue all the way from your base. Just grazing your swollen clit. 

“Teach me- fuck fuck-” words muffled and slurring together, vibrations going straight to your pussy. “Use me. Use me how you want.”

You’re threading your fingers through his dark locks before you even realize it, grinding your sloppy cunt all over his waiting mouth. “Quirk your tongue like- ngh-” Angling him close enough so he bullies his soft tongue into your tight pussy. Piercing massaging all the right places. “Fuck-”

“Like this?”

“Sh-shit,” you gasp, nodding deliriously. “S’too ngh- good.”

And by God, did you mean it. 

“Yeah? Y’like this?” he’s groaning, wrapping his lips around your swollen clit. “Can feel you clenching around me. Shit shit shit, you love this, huh? So slutty on camera for it?” 

Getting wetter and wetter by the second as his tongue roams for that one-

“Oh! F-fuck, Cho. Right hngh- there. Deeper-”

Ah, found it.

Choso grins as you tug on his soft strands, you can feel it on your throbbing pussy. Pushing your legs all the way till they’re at your tits to hit that little spot each and every time. Again and again. Eyes glassy, torn between devouring that slutty expression on your face and how fucking drenched you were. 

“Shit, baby,” his words are so strained now, like his sanity was dancing away at each flick of his tongue. “You’re drooling everywhere. See? Show the camera now.”

You don’t have to look. Because you can feel it.

Can feel how wet his mouth is, just glistening with slick and saliva. Trailing all the way down his chin - to his wrist - only second to how sloppy your dripping cunt was. It was like he was getting messy on purpose, like a little reminder to himself that shit this was you and he was eating out your pretty cunt to insanity-

“Oh my god, think m’hooked.” Tongue dragging all over your swollen folds, catching on his piercing. “Think your pretty lil’ pussy’s hah- driving me crazy. Ruined me, Fuck-”

And it’s so embarrassing how he’s talking you through it, grinning at every lil’ whine and whimper that leaves your mouth. You were acting all shy right now in a way that makes Choso’s cock twitch so painfully. He barely even notices, though, with the way he was so drunk off your pussy. 

So messy - unable to decide between rolling his tongue over your ravaged clit and dipping into your sloppy hole. Too much. In and out in and-

“Faster.”

He goes faster. 

“H-harder.”

He goes harder.

Anything and everything for you - to keep those pretty moans falling from your lips, walls getting tighter and tighter around his tongue. And Choso might just consider himself a man addicted.

“Can you ngh- cum f’me, baby?” You flinch as he spits out the words into your cunt. Harsh. Fucked-out. Sounding just as delirious and breathless as you. “Cum f’me please. Wan’ to taste y’on my tongue. Please. Fuck- need it so bad. So bad.”

You’re so caught up in Choso’s pussydrunk little babbles that you barely even realize when you’re cumming. Just that you’re letting out a strangled scream of his name, dragging your sloppy pussy all over his mouth. 

And he has never seemed more blissed out. Long gone is that nervous little expression usually on his face around you, Choso looked like he could be suffocated in-between your legs right now and love it. Hope for it, even.

He tells you that, of course. As soon as you’re blinking back your vision, blood still roaring in your ears. Delicate strings of slick snapping where he parts from your quivering cunt, lips swollen and glossed so prettily with your sweet sweet juices. 

“Baby, y’think the video of lesson one came out good?”

Oh. Shit, what have you done?

---

That certainly wasn’t the last time you saw Choso - or the last time you had him in front of a camera, either.

A few weeks later, you found yourself with an entire album for the man - a hidden treasure trove under the simple name of “Cho <3”. Most of the videos favorited, all sorted so tediously in a way that showed you spent an obscene amount of time looking at all the ways he ruined you. 

So filthy on camera that you always wondered whether it was the same person in the sheets and in class, texting Choso for later. Just to confirm. 

But embarrassingly, only some of these videos made their way onto your Twitter account - with Choso’s pretty face largely out of the frame. The two of you hadn’t ventured into streams yet either, opting to hide him away. Because, okay, maybe you were slightly jealous of other people seeing him - but it was really hard not to be when he looked like that.

In spite of all that, you’d still gained a casual hundred thousand more followers since his appearance - ones who always commented on your solo streams asking where your “hot emo bf” was.

Comments you’d pointedly ignore, because, hell, you wished he was here on-stream helping you get off, too. Yet despite the endless flirting and videos, Choso actually hadn’t made it further than actually holding a full conversation with you. And you wanted more. 

For all you know, you might just be one of his many trysts - and it was just for the videos, right? You get the content, he gets the experience? A win-win situation, so why have you never felt more like such a loser?

Such a loser the way you’ve already lost count of the “lessons” but still haven’t gotten to feel him - to fuck him the way you wanted just yet. 

“S’alright if I take this, right, ma’am?” He smirks during one such session, knuckle-deep in your dripping cunt. Dangling your drenched panties like a badge of honor, flimsy and soaked with your sweet sweet juices. “S’alright if I-” And he can’t even finish the sentence. Your jaw drops as Choso raises the thin fabric to his face, breathing in your essence like a man possessed. 

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-

“You’re so filthy, Cho-” you manage to choke out once you find your voice. Squirming on his bed like such a slut for him. “Was the innocent thing just an act?”

“Nope.” he pops the p, licking lewd little circles on your neck, thumbing open your puffy folds to watch in amazement at the way you glisten and clamp around his fingers. Eyes flickering briefly to the recording phone in his hand. “But we gotta give ‘em a good show, huh?”

Right, you’d forgotten about the camera. But none of that matters anyway because-

Intensity setting 2.

“You’re so mean, too.”

“Am I?” he grins, teeth grazing along your racing pulse. “I think you taught that to me, baby. Shit, lesson 8 it was?”

God, he was addictive.

Choso’s having way too much fun playing around with the intensity setting of the bullet vibrator shoved inside your ravaged cunt. Sending quick, methodical vibrations all along your pulsing clit. In time with the breathless moans leaving your kiss-bitten lips, and it’s all you can to call out for- more? Mercy? Both? 

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-

“God, you’re so perfect. Shit, so messy f’me.” he groans, and you could tell that the video wasn’t going to be uploaded anyway. Too shaky, focusing in and out of Choso’s fingers. Knuckle-deep and pumping in and out of your filthy hole. Relentless. “Almost makes me wanna show off to an actual audience.”

“Maybe I want to, too.” you muse, shifting at his heated gaze. Dangerously pressing your thumb over those nipple piercings you’ve gotten to know so well lately - as if to support your point. God you wish he’d take off that snug shirt.

Intensity setting 3.

“That so?”

And no matter how many times Choso’s ruined you on camera - and watched the videos over and over afterwards - he always thought they weren’t enough to capture your perfection. 

“Such a slut f’me, baby.” To capture the exact moment in which your wet lips fall into a soft little oh! when he massages your walls in time with the pulsing vibrator. To capture that absolutely sinfully excited little glint in your eyes as he ruts his clothed erection against your pussy. “Y’always this dirty?” Quickly turning into a look of slight panic at the sudden jingle of keys from the front door. 

“Yo, brat. Where the fuck are ya?”

Ah, there he was, the reason that Choso usually locked his bedroom door whenever you were over, even if he was home alone. 

Intensity setting 4.

As the silence continues, so does Choso’s abuse on your cunt. In fact, he only gets more erratic - like he wanted you to cum. Needed you to cum right now, right here in front of Sukuna, footsteps only growing louder. Nearer.

“Cho-” you fight to get out the words. “He’s hah-.”

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-

“Can’t speak? That’s cute.” he coos, voice way too relaxed for someone whose mind was reeling with the realization that he couldn’t remember if he locked the door this time, and how adorable you sounded. Enough so that it made some raw, primal part of him wanna pull down his pants and fuck you right here right now. Cockblocks and his own virginity be damned. “C’mon now, use your words like a good girl. Tell the camera.”

Cocky bastard.

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzzt-

“Close!” you yelp, unsure of whether you were talking about yourself or the looming Sukuna. Jaw slack, tears springing into your ears as you look up at Choso. “So close.”

God, you were addictive. And this video was definitely going in both your favorites.

“Mhm,” he hums, movements getting hastier. More desperate. “I know, ma’am.”

Intensity setting 5.

That’s all that it takes for you to cum, letting out a loud strangled moan of Choso’s name. Or, you would’ve - if it hadn’t been for the way he’s shoving two, thick fingers into your mouth.

Silencing you - and in your hazy brain you think that if this was his way of shutting you up, then you really didn’t mind. Because all you could taste was you and the cold, cold metal of his rings. Somewhat intoxicating.

“Shhhhhh.” he’s breathing out, still mindlessly grinding his hips into yours. Though, you realize with a pang that today won’t be the day you get to feel that achingly hard erection straining his pants. “These pretty moans aren’t for him, hm?”

Pressing on the back of your tongue, smirking at the way you nod tearily up at him, moans still muffled. Hell, do you even know how sexy you’re being right now.

“Mhm, all f’me. All for fuckin’ me.”

Knock! Knock! Knock! 

“Why the fuck are you locked up in here on a Saturday night?” Sukuna sounds impatient, but not surprised. Probably imagining all sorts of dorky things his nephew was doing to hole himself up in his room. “Come out n’ get this takeout- what’s left of it anyways.”

And with that, it’s like the magic is over.

Your high only just bating before Choso’s hurriedly ending the recording on a hazy still of your disappointed pout, cursing Sukuna for his impeccable timing. 

Slightly concerned about the door being broken down and someone else seeing you in all your fucked-out glory, he hastily moves to grab the spare cloth by his bedside. Cleaning you up with hushed promises of “sending the recording later”, and “s’alright, he’ll be gone soon.”

Close. You were so close.

A win-win situation - but you’ve never felt like more of a loser.

---

“By God, I never thought he’d get the balls to do it.”

You yelp in surprise at the deep voice from behind you, whirling with a defiant brandish of Choso’s (your?) keys. He’d given them to you a few lessons ago, saying it would make it easier for you to come and go from his apartment as you pleased. Which - to you - felt dangerously like something a boyfriend would say-

But that wasn’t important right now.

What was important was the older man suddenly towering over you right outside Choso’s front door. Big arms crossed over his chest, that leering smirk clashing with his pink hair. “I knew it was odd that brat had a pair of heels by the door.”

Shit. Sukuna.

Ryomen awfully-wingman-his-nephew Sukuna.

“Spill.” At your confused head tilt, he plows on. “Spill the tea. I need new blackmail on my lil’ nephew. How badly did he have to beg you to go out with him?”

You don’t know what was more bizarre - what he was saying or the way he actually pulls out his Notes app as if hanging on to your every word. 

“I-It’s because of you.” you manage to choke out, unsure of what Choso has told his family about you.  Eyes flitting between him and the door right behind you, sounding your very best not to sound just as guilty as you felt. “You’re the reason we have this weird…thing.”

A beat of silence passes. One. Two. 

And just as you’re beginning to wonder whether you’ve broken Choso’s infamous uncle, he throws his head back and laughs. Laughs, right in your face, sounding like he’d just heard the funniest punchline in the world. 

“Oh that’s hilarious.” he exclaims, wiping a mock tear. Cackles dying down as if he was suddenly aware that maybe Choso would hear and walk in on this impromptu interrogation. “Damn, that awful pick-up line is why you started fuckin’? I thought it’d get that sap blocked so he’d stop stalking your account so much.”

“No, we…” you hesitate, mind reeling with what Sukuna just admitted, and how bad it would really be that you’re divulging your sex life to a relative of the guy you’re fucking. Before thinking fuck it, might as well confide in someone. “...we’re just doing stuff for-” putting up air quotes. “-content.”

“Just content?”

“Just content.”

“And you like that fool?”

Your face burns at how glaringly obvious it apparently was, “...Yes.”

This seemingly sets Sukuna off on another wave of uncontrollable laughter. “Ohh, thanks for the blackmail on that emotionally-constipated brat.” Typing away on what you assume to be his Notes, he promptly turns to walk away, “See ya around, doll.”

“Wait!” you call after in confusion, making him stop and raise a brow. “Aren’t you supposed to like- I don’t know, give me advice for your nephew or something - like a good uncle?”

Scoffing, “Who said I was a good uncle?” He leans in ever-so-slightly, “Jus’ rock his world on camera or somethin’ n’ ask him out right in the middle.” Satisfied with being enough of a decent samaritan for today, he walks back with a half-wave, “He’d listen to whatever you say anyway.”

Oh. Is that so?

And Sukuna probably meant it as some joke. Something to tease the both of you with - but it’s something that sets the gears going off inside your head. Something that had you ignoring Sukuna’s slightly panicked, “Jus’ not too soon, I needa bully him with this first.”

---

You didn’t listen to Sukuna’s little plea, of course. Because only a few days later you’d steeled yourself to finally send that one text you knew would change your relationship with Choso. For the good, hopefully. 

You: 9pm my place. Get ready, cuz this time we’re gonna be live ;)

Cho <3: :0 

And with that, you’d thrown your phone on the bed, jittery about later tonight. Browsing through your wardrobe for that one set of barely-there lingerie in his favorite shade of pink. Hey, you could never be too prepared, right?

Nothing could’ve prepared Choso for this moment - absolutely nothing at all. 

He might’ve just died and gone to heaven the very moment he read that dangerous text - finally inviting him to join one of your streams. The ones that he’d always watch in the safety of his bedroom, lights dimmed, pants bunched around his ankles. 

Cock just achingly hard in his fist while he wished he was with you behind the camera. Getting you off so much better than any sextoy would. Just forcing those pretty moans from your lips - and everyone else could see that. Wish it was them ruining you instead. 

Alas, it was only a dirty little fantasy. 

Until now, that is.

slvt4u: Holy shit boyfriend reveal, about time.

uniwhore: THIS is the hottie from Twitter????? 

itsgenslut: idfc just fuck

“Nervous?” you smirk, looking down at the man sprawled so prettily on your bed. “You look just as close to an aneurysm as you were the first time. Though-” snaking your hand down, “-this is still the same as ever.”

You chuckle at the way Choso catches your lips with his, more to shut up those pathetic little moans threatening to escape him than anything. Because every glance at you in that sinful little pink bra gave Choso a mini heart attack. 

“B-baby-” he gasps, grinding his clothed erection against your palms. “I wan- hah-”

“Mhm?”

And God how you’ve ruined Choso - run him so utterly dry of his sanity.

Because he’s angling your head down, piercing cold against your tongue. “Spit.”

It was like that first time had gotten him addicted. So you do - right into his waiting mouth. Jaw dropping at the way he tips his head back, back, back to let it slide so obscenely down his throat. Moaning at just a taste of you, “God, I need to f-fucking ruin you.”

And if there’s anything you’ve learned after all these months with Choso, it’s that anything he says - he does.

The words have barely left his mouth before he’s pulling your bra off, ripping your panties easily off your hips. Each and every little regret about what a shame it was thrown out the window at the first sight of your pretty pussy. 

It never gets old - and Choso could never get enough of the sinful sight - your cunt so sloppy and ready for him already. 

“Cho-” you whine as ringed fingertips coming up to circle your sloppy entrance. Cold. Stretching you to insanity. “S-stop teasing.”

“Yes, ma’am. But first-” shifting you around ever-so-slightly on top of him. “Gotta show off how wet y’are f’me.”

uniwhore: did he just call her “ma’am”?? Me when??

roses101: idk who i wanna be they’re both so fucking hot ugh

“Fuck, y’look so sexy from this angle. Wonder if the camera thinks so too?”

Your face slightly burns at how he was seemingly taking over your own stream. Smug bastard, you think, glancing down at Choso, red-faced, hair untied, wearing a sly grin as his eyes slide over the flurry of comments. But two can play that game. 

“Cho~” fumbling with the hem of his underwear, “You’ve been holding out on me.”

A gasp leaves you involuntarily as you tug down Choso’s boxers just enough for his throbbing cock to spring free, hitting his sculpted abdomen. Blushed your favorite shade of pink - to match your bra - so so angry and soaked in precum. 

He was so intimidatingly long - longer than any of those toys you usually brought on camera. Thick enough that it had you wondering, shit, would you even be able to take it?

“S’this a-alright?” and for all his previous confidence, Choso sounded self-conscious. Peeking at you through his long lashes.

You grin, pumping a hand up and down his swollen cock, letting his precum drip down your wrist. “S’perfect.”

“God- fuck, baby. Oh-” Choso lets out breathless little profanities as you straddle his waist, dragging his weeping tip down your swollen folds. So fucking filthy as you sink down in by fucking in. Slowly. “Too- much-”

Apparently too slow because no sooner have you just taken in his fat tip, squeezing and clenching around him, that Choso’s flipping the both of you over. 

“M’sorry.” he breathes into your mouth as your back hits the mattress. “M’sorry m’sorry, fuck- just can’t-” fingers immediately drawing frenzied little circles on your pulsing clit to take your mind off the dizzying stretch as he bullies his massive cock into your snug cunt. “Can’t wait can’t wait- waited too fucking long. Want this so badly-”

You felt too good. Too perfect around him. 

“Ah! Hngh- Cho, oh my god. Too- ngh-” you moan, as he starts grinding in shallow, mindless little movements just to fit himself inside. Pushing and pushing, you wondered if he even realized what he was doing.

Sounding like his sanity was dwindling away with each little thrust, “S’too big? You can take it. Fuck fuck fuck please. Need this.” Pressing all the way into your lungs. “How do you wan’ it- how do you wan’ me?”

Honestly, Choso didn’t even need to ask, because he just bottoms out - heavy balls smacking against your ass, cock swollen and throbbing inside you - that you think that you just wanted him to ruin you. 

“R-ruin?” his voice breaks as he repeats - more to himself than you. Oh, shit had you said that out loud? You’re speechless as Choso throws your legs over his shoulder, dragging his swollen lips lazily across your ankle. “Yes ma’am.”

Oh. You might as well have just signed off your will. 

Because then he’s fucking into your sloppy cunt. Unforgiving. A man starved because he was. Jagged, quick thrusts, splitting you apart deeper and deeper on his rock-hard cock. 

“Fuck- fuck fuck fuck-” he pants into your open mouth, finding it so fucking difficult to find any rhythm when your tight cunt was milking him so good. “You feel so good. So messy. Ya love it like this, huh? Being hngh- watched?”

“Hngh-” you buck wildly into his body, reaching up to play coyly with his nipple piercings. Tugging and pulling lightly. “Feels too good- are- ah- are ya sure this is your first time?”

Honestly, it was a wonder Choso didn’t cum right then and there. 

Tojisslvt: need someone to fuck me like this the first time

22sabi: Typing with one hand is so hard.

DaStrongest: i could fuck her so much better than than inexperienced loser

Choso throws his head back in a cruel little laugh at that last comment, something that makes you tingle all the way from your burning cheeks to your stuffed cunt. Clamping down deliciously on Choso’s unforgiving cock in a way that makes his hips and fingers stutter. 

“Ya think you could fuck her better?” it takes you a second to realize he was talking to the camera and not you. Thrusts getting sloppier, getting familiar. “I’m the one that got her so messy like this.” Purposeful. Calculated. Like he was aiming for that one-

“Fuck!” you scream as he hits that magic spot. Once. And then over and over like a man possessed. Just so utterly ruining you the way you knew he could. “Cho oh my god- I can’t hah- ngh-”

The cold metal of Choso’s rings dig into your cheek softly as he turns you head to face him. God, this was the stuff of his wildest dreams.

You - teary eyed and looking up at him like such a slut. Pussy getting wetter - tighter - as he teases you in front of the camera. Torn between running away from his relentless cock and bucking up for more more more-

 “Fuck no no no- Keep your legs open, baby. Don’t hah- run away from me.” his fingers dig into your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. “Don’t- need this. Need this so ba- shit.” 

And he sounded so genuinely worried he’d lose the feeling of your heady cunt. Fingers bruising on your hips as he pulls you closer. Like he was trying to fuck out any and every shred of shyness out of your body. 

slvt4u: Always the quiet ones.

DaStrongest: heh, fuck off. i’d make her cum so much harder.

Now, Choso was fucking you like he had a point to prove, and it was probably the only reason he hadn’t passed out from how good your pussy felt wrapped around him. 

Both of you were barely-lucid at this point - and he was out of control now.

Pussy drunk thoughts unfiltered, “No one’s ever d-done this- got me hah- feeling like this.” And you had the distinct feeling he just beat you to your original goal, letting out sweet little babbles into your open mouth - though his hips were anything but. 

So hard that you were sure the creases of your sheets would leave marks for tomorrow - along with his balls on your ass, your ankles on his shoulders, lips searing against yours. It was like he wanted to prove something - to prove he was good enough to- the viewers? To you? 

Knowing your body well enough to hit that one spot over and over until you were sobbing. Fingers erratic on your clit. 

“Cho-” you squeal, tears springing to your eyes as he only gets sloppier. “I-I’m gonna-”

“Cum?” he breathes, as if he couldn’t believe it. And fuck if you weren’t the gates of heaven spread wide open for him then he didn’t know what was. “Fucking cum. Please please- hah- f’me. Cum on m’cock n’ make them jealous. F’me- Like you’re mine.”

You barely even realize when you are. Jaw slack, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you see stars behind your eyes, blood roaring in your ears. God, he was gonna have to go home and rewatch this stream all over again. 

“Ngh- m’cumming m’cumming oh-”

Not even realizing the way you’re dragging your nails down Choso’s sculpted back. Marking up his milky skin - and he lets you. 

Loved it in fact- the way he loved you. 

Your eyes go wide, and Choso knows he’s fucked up. Realizing with a jolt that words were tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. But it’s the way you squeeze him tighter- giving him such a gorgeous little fucked-out smile that sends him over the edge.

Sharp canines digging into the crook of your neck like he wanted to break skin, holding himself back from breaking you while he cums and cums so hard it hurt. Over and over-

“Love you- love you love you love you-” he’s muttering into the skin, unbarred. “Since I first saw hah- you. Wanted this more than fuck fuck- air that I breathe.”

His seed was oozing out of you now, painting your ravaged pussy white, dribbling down your legs.  So fucking full and debauched. Thick, hot globs that were sure to stain those overpriced new sheets. But did Choso care for the mess? Not at all. 

Because you were holding him so impossibly tight, pushing away the strands of hair sticking to his forehead. Whispering little praises as he fucks you through his first time. Close. Warm. Everything he ever dreamed of.

“S’everything I ever dreamed of, too, Cho.”

And he knows he’s won. 

urfavslvt: Proudest nut. Want more.

uniwhore: does this mean couples content??? Pls say yes plsplspls

DaStrongest: invite me next time <3

“Thought you were embarrassed.” he licks soothingly over the bite. Voice shot, piercing smooth against his tongue. Embarrassing little confessions leaving him with each spark of electricity running through his veins. “Thought you didn’t stream w’me cuz of that- but shit. Dreamed of this f’so long. So long-”

Oh?

“Hey, Cho.” your voice rings through his hazy mind. Just enough for Choso to raise his head and meet your intoxicating, sultry gaze. Giving a sly, sidelong glance at the still-blinking camera. 

“Mhm?”

“Wanna film a week’s worth of ‘movies’ in advance?”

---

Sukuna (do not answer): Oi shitty nephew, where r u Jin made me come over with (half) leftovers.

You: Sorry, not home. At the movies rn.

Sukuna (do not answer): When tf do u go to movies?? 

You: Since now, on a date. You probably can’t relate.

Sukuna (do not answer): Stfu n’ stop lying, a date with who? Ur body pillow?? Not like u had the balls to ask out that pretty lil’ camgirl anyway.

Haha

Right? 

You: *girlfriend

Sukuna (do not answer): Huh?

You: Girlfriend.

Sukuna (do not answer): THE FUCKIN’ PICK-UP LINE WORKED??

A/N. This came out a LOT longer than expected. 

Plagiarism not authorized.

[sapphicromanoffxo]

Curiosity kills the cat | n.r x w.m

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: beefy!Nat, oral sex, strap on use, mild degradation, praise kink, mentions of aftercare, daddy kink, a bit of breeding kink

Summary: Wanda is intrigued by the intricacies of filming a sex video and ended up asking Natasha if she will be up for it?

A/N: so this is based on a request and tbh, I don't know if this turned out good. So please let me know your thoughts! 🤞 AND sorry if there are any mistakes. ✌️

╰┈➤ Masterlist

Receiving fancy gifts always feels strange to Wanda because she and her brother grew up without much money. Her family couldn't buy expensive stuff, even though her parents worked to make sure they had enough food. So, Wanda learned at an early age to be careful with money and practical with her expenses. That's why it overwhelms her a bit whenever Natasha showers her with gifts on random days. She knows that Natasha tends to buy stuff that is on the expensive side, and she almost wants to tell Nat to stop buying her things. But there is a part of her that feels giddy at Natasha's grand gestures as it makes her feel really special.

Natasha's latest gift is a digital camera. Wanda knew it's expensive upon noticing the brand, and she knew for sure that it was the latest model.

"I saw how you take good pictures of Liho on your phone, and I think you have a talent for photography. You should pursue or discover that side of yourself more," Natasha lovingly encouraged her girlfriend.

Wanda bit her lips at Natasha's high praise and observant skill. "You didn't have to buy me a camera. But thank you, Nat."

"Don't worry, baby. I just want to support your interests in life. Now go on and take more pictures of Liho!"

Natasha unexpectedly found herself becoming the focal point of Wanda's photography, much to her chagrin. Natasha knew that she's good-looking however, she couldn't shake the discomfort of being photographed. Attempting to lighten her own mood, she playfully dubbed Wanda her "personal paparazzi". Natasha could never find it in her heart to tell Wanda to refrain from taking pictures of her, in fear that she may discourage her girlfriend.

On a sunny afternoon, Wanda searches for Pietro with the intention of borrowing his laptop so she can transfer all the photos and take a look at which ones are worth printing. She is planning on making an album filled with photos of everyone in the compound and a separate album as well for Natasha and their cat, Liho.

"Go ahead and get it in my room." Pietro told her and off she went to his room. Once she retrieved the laptop, she then went to their room, Natasha and hers, and plopped down on the bed. While the photos are being transferred, she can't help but be curious about Pietro's search history. She knows it's bad to snoop around but she's genuinely curious about her brother's interest in life.

To say that she's shock was an understatement. Pietro's history was filled with porn sites! Well, she can't fault his brother since he is a man and it is normal for them to watch porn. It is not her place to judge but she can't determine why there is a need for people to take videos of them having sex. She realised that these people are getting money out of this and being a porn actor pays well. So she just continued browsing and well, watching clips and it made her think of her girlfriend. Natasha has a body that is to die for, and capturing them on pictures or even videos makes Wanda's heart race with anticipation.

As if summoned, Natasha enters the room clad in tight shorts accentuating her round ass, strong thighs and a sports bra with thin straps barely containing her ample tits. Wanda hastily shuts off her laptop, blurting out, "Natasha! What are you doing here?"

Cringing at her own question, Wanda realizes Natasha will sense something is amiss, putting pressure on revealing her little secret.

Natasha arches an eyebrow at Wanda's odd behavior, stating, "Well, this is my room, and I cut short my training since I'm not in the mood."

Wanda merely nods, mildly irritating Natasha. "Why are you acting weird, and what's on that laptop, detka?"

"Nothing, nothing! I'm just transferring my photos. That's all." Wanda responded nervously.

"Can I see the photos?" Natasha challenged Wanda.

If Wanda could hide and run away, she would. But there is no winning when Natasha is on a mission to expose what she's keeping.

"Uhm. Sure. Just wait a second."

Loud pornographic sounds immediately fill the room the moment Wanda opens the laptop which makes her shut it off again. Horrified almost feels inadequate to describe what she's feeling. Now this is the right time to flung herself on the window and never come back. She's also too afraid to look at Natasha, in fear that she may be scolded by her current predicament.

"There are only two of us in this room and there is no doubt that neither of us just made that sound so give me the laptop." Natasha finally speaks up and demands Wanda to hand over the device. Wanda did want she's been told and just wants earth to swallow her whole.

Natasha opens the laptop and the filthy sounds come into life once again. The current page that she's in makes her wonder how Wanda discovered such a thing and what her motives are.

"Is there any reason why you are watching porn?" She asked softly to somehow calm Wanda's mind.

The poor girl is contemplating her answer and opens her mouth to say something but ends up shutting it. She responded instead with, "Are you mad at me?"

"No, Wanda." Natasha is quick to assure the girl. "I promise I am not mad at you. You can tell me what's on your mind."

Satisfied with Natasha's assurance, she then answers her question truthfully and solemnly, "It was not my intention to watch porn in the first place. I was just snooping around Pietro's history and I came across those websites. I became curious and watched some of the videos."

"These videos are educational at some point and there is nothing wrong with watching them but, if you have questions or want something, you can ask me. I won't bite, you know? Unless you want me to." Natasha sits down beside Wanda and puts in a little joke in the end to lighten up the mood.

"I know. I was just curious, that's all." Wanda responds with an air of relief knowing that she's not in trouble.

"You're okay. Let me give this back to you and I'm going to take a shower, okay?" Natasha smiles at Wanda and gives her a kiss before going to the bathroom.

Once Wanda is alone, she looks at the screen again and watches some of the previews. She smiled at herself and maybe something good could come out from watching these videos.

Feeling refreshed from a good bath, Natasha wears her boxers and a loose cropped top for a more casual and relaxed attire since it will be hours before they will be up for dinner. She searches for Wanda and finds her sitting on the sofa instead, with the camera situated on a tripod in front of her.

"Are you taking self portraits?" Natasha asks.

"I figured we can take some photos together? Only if you'd like." Wanda proposes.

Natasha almost hesitates but she sees something else from Wanda's plan and decides to just go with it. "Sure. How do you want me?"

"Just sit there and we'll just do little poses."

And so Wanda adjusts the settings of the camera and sits on Natasha's strong things.

Natasha's hands naturally land on Wanda's ass, gripping them affectionately.

"Hmm. This is nice." Natasha said with great enthusiasm.

"Yeah? You feel comfortable with this?"

"Ofcourse, baby. As long as I'm doing it with you."

Wanda blushes at Natasha's words and so far her plan is working well. She leans down to kiss Natasha and feels her hands travelling up and down her sides, then ending back on her ass.

"What if I want to do something more?" Wanda asks nervously.

A light bulb figuratively sparked at Natasha's head, confirming her suspicion of Wanda's proposal.

"What do you have in mind, love?" Natasha's hand travels up to the swell of Wanda's breasts, groping them gently which earns a small moan from the witch.

"I want to film us having sex. Would you be up for it?" Wanda asks reluctantly, not knowing whether Natasha will agree on her wish.

"Am I right to assume that you got this idea from those videos?" Natasha decides to tease her a bit. She likes it when Wanda comes up to her with ideas on how they can spice up their sex life. She knows plenty of kinks to be worked up with, however she also wants Wanda to feel comfortable with discovering what feels right for her.

"Uh-uh. I want to see how our bodies react to one another from a different perspective."

"I trust you and your ideas, baby."

Wanda beams at Natasha's agreement and kisses her senseless. Her mind is going on overdrive with scenarios that she wants to reenact which further intensifies her arousal.

"I want to eat you out first." Wanda whispers seductively at Natasha's ear, while grinding her body at her hips.

"Feeling confident tonight, detka? Go on, I'll let you have it." Natasha smirks at Wanda's sudden confidence. How she loves to witness her take charge of their relationship once in a while. But at the end of the day, she knows she'll have Wanda at her mercy anyway.

***

It's been days since they have done their impromptu sex recording session and both women haven't gotten the chance to review the video.

Natasha pulled out her own personal laptop and strictly instructed Wanda to only make one copy of the said video and it should only be on her own device. They can't risk the chance of leaking their own sex video now and for sure it will be the talk of the town if ever it comes to that.

Alone in their room, Wanda takes it upon herself to watch the recording. She suddenly feels like she's about to intrude on someone's sex life but it is literally their own so she shouldn't worry that much. Part of her feels ashamed of what they've done but looking back at Natasha's reaction to it and how she animalisticly fucked her, she realised in end that it's worth it.

The video was almost an hour long which felt longer at the time. They sometimes lose track of the time everytime Natasha is in the mood of good fucking and their love making session would last all night long. Wanda would never complain about being used like that especially if she's on the receiving end of pleasure. Though she also makes sure to return the favor to Natasha, but the ratio of orgasm is almost never equal between them.

Wanda hits the play button and she sees herself kissing Natasha's toned abdomen, leaving small hickeys on her porcelain skin and travelling upwards again to give a much needed attention to her perky nipples.

The sheer adoration on Wanda's eyes is so evident and she can't help but be aroused by her own actions towards Natasha. Her hand then ventures towards Natasha's left boob while she's sucking on the other one with much gusto. Natasha's boobs are bigger than hers and she can barely hold them in her small hands.

"Wanda, baby."

Natasha moans at how wonderful Wanda's tongue feels on her nipple. It sends a spike of pleasure down her clit and she ends up directing her hand down her crotch. Wanda understands what Natasha wants right away and kneels in front of her clothed pussy instead. She drags the boxers down her legs and is pleased to see that her lover is not wearing any underwear at all.

"You're so wet for me, daddy."

"All for you, my love."

Wanda wasted no time and dived right in on Natasha's enlarged clit. She can almost feel it throb at every passing lick and marvels at how sensitive it is.

"Right there! So good, baby."

The angle of the camera captures the whole view of Natasha's toned upper body, Wanda can clearly see how her abs flexes at each deep in take of breaths and her chest would rise and fall from the intense pleasure within her core. Her left hand clutches on Wanda's hair and pushes her head deeper into her pussy, fully assaulting the aching bud.

Wanda penetrates Natasha's entrance with three fingers without warning and her eyes flew open, adjusting herself at the sudden spike of pleasure.

"Fuck!" Natasha screams, eyes rolling at the back of her head, and her back arching away from the sofa. Both of her hands now are gripping Wanda's head and her legs are perched on her shoulders, stabilising her upper body.

The deep guttural moans that are coming from Natasha's mouth makes Wanda's pussy clench on nothing. She's feeling more eager now on making Natasha cum, so she herself can get her own release. She doubled her efforts on sucking Natasha's clit and within the next seconds, Natasha's body is shaking and is now sitting in an upright position while mumbling, "I'm cumming! I'm cum–!"

Wanda's screen shows Natasha's chest, how it rises and falls at every deep breaths, her tits and abdomen littered with small, dark hickeys and her arms are splayed out to her side. What a fucking sight to see. Wanda pauses the video to admire her lover even more and takes pride at reducing Natasha into this state.

"Satisfied?" Wanda asked with a smug look on her face.

"Very. Come up here." Natasha demanded and Wanda scrambled off the floor to straddle her thighs once again.

"Can you grab the strap on for me? I want you to ride me while you're facing the camera."

Red wisps of magic appear on Wanda's fingertips then the harness together with its dildo lands on the sofa.

"Good girl. That magic of yours is real handly."

Wanda momentarily stands up while Natasha secures the harness around her hips and attaches the toy on her crotch.

"Come on. Ride daddy's cock the way you like it."

The witch positions herself and straddling Natasha's thighs while facing the camera. She sinks in slowly at the 8-inch dildo and oh, the stretch feels so good and the burn is intensely satisfying. Natasha holds Wanda's waist to guide her down, without moving her hips first to make sure that Wanda is well adjusted.

"God, daddy. You're so big. I love it so much."

Wanda whimpers the moment the whole length is situated within her. Her movements are slow at first, then gradually picking up her pace once the mild pain subsided. Her arms are pinned by one of Natasha's hands while the other one is gripping her waist.

"Sweet baby, you look so fucking good like this. Lean down on my chest, sweetheart."

Wanda's back hasn't even touched Natasha's chest yet but she starts pounding into her like there is no tomorrow.

"Daddy! Daddy! Fuck! Harder harder!"

"You like being fucked like this, huh? That's my good girl."

At this point, Wanda is completely entranced by their love making. The voyeuristic pleasure of simultaneously seeing and feeling the tenderness and roughness of Natasha's touch, how her pussy stretches to accommodate the girth and length of her cock, and oh– her own moans is a clear reflection of how good Natasha is fucking her. Her gaze focuses back to the video where the tripod was moved to the side. Wanda is now kneeling on the sofa, legs wide open and Natasha is fucking her roughly from the back.

"This pussy is mine to fuck and abuse, yes?"

"Yes! Yes! This pussy is yours to abuse. Faster, please!"

Witnessing her own submission to Natasha is both daunting and thrilling. Natasha holds the exclusive privilege of delving into her innermost desires, unravelling her lust in a simple command that would leave her begging for more.

The bruising grip of her lover on her waist and the way she's being manhandled should be alarming, yet all she sees and feels is comfort. There is a sense of comfort in knowing that Natasha will take care of her and ultimately love her throughout their relationship. There is no other person in this world that she could trust other than Natasha Romanoff.

"If I had a dick, I know I'll be coming all over you. Gonna breed you like slut until you pass out!"

"You're gonna make me cum! Ahh!"

"Fucking hell, Wanda. That's it. Cum on my cock."

Wanda's heart swells even more at seeing Natasha at how she takes good care of her, especially right after an intense lovemaking. She makes sure to put Wanda's comfort above anything else. Whispers of sweet nothings to bring her down from such a soaring high pleasure and gentle kisses to calm her racing heart.

"You look so beautiful, detka. I'm so lucky to have you."

"I love you so much, Natty."

"I love you too, baby. Come on, let's get you cleaned up before we head down for a nap."

As the video nears its end, with them no longer in frame, Wanda directs her attention to the background objects. It's at this moment that she notices a small green-eyed cat loafing at the far end of the sofa, evidently basking in its own bubble.

She wonders, was Liho present the entire duration of them having sex? Wanda rewinds the video and, to her surprise, discovers that the cat was indeed a silent observer throughout, from the beginning to the end.

"Damn it, Liho!"

[tokyogruel]

Tell me more about the idea that muu is lying and not actually rich please. Ive only ever seen one other person consider that before but they never elaborated + changed their mind post INMF so im really curious. Like what do you think supports it?

im so sorry this took me a few days, work tends to drain me a lot more than id like haha

but i would be more than happy to elaborate!

unfortunately a few of my claims are based off of evidence/supportive pieces that are in a discord server i no longer have access to, so please forgive me

to start off, it was pointed out to me at one point that muu goes to a more expensive private school, though there are grants and scholarships that allow those without the proper funding to attend these schools regardless of their financial status (i.e. haruhi in ouran high school host club). i believe muu is a very intelligent young girl who is capable of earning one of these scholarships easily

muu also has a recurring theme of "foreigner in a place that is new and scary to her" her being a blonde-haired light-eyed half-french, lesbian GNC-girl in a private school filled with dark-haired dark-eyed japanese straight feminine girls. muu is the kind of person who likely feels totally outcast by her peers.

as well, taking a peek at this conversation in after pain:

with a very rough translation (i am not proficient in japanese, but this is the gist of the conversation)

it should be noted that muu's friends "A-" and "Sayu" appear to be talking about muu as if she is not present in the conversation, and their tone is almost mocking. muu retorts by claiming she has plenty more, and that her lipstick (which they are likely making fun of her for it being a cheap brand, though im not sure about this detail) is just an extra she had on hand. she gets defensive, and is likely lying to protect her "rich girl who has everything" image.

i would also like to point out that muu seems to have gotten nothing in return for her lipstick- and was likely lending it to her friend with no expectation. muu acts like she isnt a giving person, but genuinely seems to be thoughtful and generous towards those she cares about. this can also be seen with muu giving haruka "hand-me-down" hair clips. its a small gesture, but haruka wears and appreciates them- they keep his uncut hair out of his eyes, and its a small piece of her that he can wear. its a thoughtful gift

and secondly... doesnt anybody else think that its weird that weve seen NOTHING about her home life? with other prisoners, we see at least two aspects of their lives, if not more. haruka with his house v. the forest. yuno in the car, on the stairs, in the brothel-room, on dates. fuuta in the tunnel, the arcade, on the basketball court. shidou in his house, hospital, greenhouse. mahiru in the forest, her house, several pictures of her on outings in TIHTBILWY. kazui in his house and the bar, on the altar. amane in her house, on the street, though MAGIC primarily takes place in her "inner world". mikoto in his home and train station. kotoko in the warehouse, a bar, on the streets etc.

muu's videos take place entirely in her school. even her inner-world with the bright white walls and floors, where herself and her peers are bugs- its still her mental depiction of school. her home life is totally void in her videos. why? sure, it may not be important to her murder- but maybe, its more important than what we see in after pain and inmf

did you know that most bullies use bullying as a way to cope with lack of control in their lives? that bullies most often face harrassment at home, and that school is their only escape from abuse? those who bully their peers often mirror their own parents' actions towards them. school is likely the only place where muu has any sense of control in her life. yes, its bad that she bullied her peers, but she is a child who has no proper outlet for the pain that she faces

(i also believe that her hourglass imagery lends to a cycle of violence- that muu was likely bullied, became the bully, and lost her status only to get bullied once more)

but im going on a tangent

unfortunately at this point i am running out of steam and good examples to lend to why i believe muu is poor (please, if anyone else has any evidence to back this up, please do add on to this post! i love to hear the community's thoughts!)

but for one last, small point. let's take a look at muu's lunch. a simple bento

this bento is very small (a side note: i am also of the opinion that muu struggles with an ED) and it consists of a few simple ingredients.

a leaf of lettuce, cherry tomatoes, rice, a small amount of sauce, a single hot dog cut in the shape of an octopus, and what appears to be a hunk of protein, like chicken

well, thats not a lot of food. certainly nothing high-quality or expensive. lets take a look at some school lunches in japan. lets search up "学校 べんと" "gakkou bento" "school bento" and look at the images

muu's lunch certainly doesnt look all that filling. it most certainly does not look bougie and expensive

edit: i would also like to note that she parallels shidou as a partner prisoner. both feature the concept of lying and upholding a good image of oneself

[fly-pow-bye]

The Lost Blossom Shampoo Commercial Part 3

I was already following Hook Up Animation on Instagram because they post old promos and even newer promos like that amazing one they did for Cartoon Network's 30th anniversary. I opened up Instagram and the first thing I see is that they posted a compilation video of various promos they did featuring the Powerpuff Girls. Since I have learned recently from someone at Hook Up that Hook Up Animation worked on it, I had reason to believe I was about to see at least the clip I saw in the Rogan and Toonix reels. It's not the full spot, but about 9 seconds in, there it was.

My 10 year old mystery is technically not fully solved, but at least we get to see more of it. More after the break.

One thing right now: this compilation is essentially an AMV of various clips from promos and commercials they worked on set to the Powerpuff Girls theme, and none of the promos and commercials are shown in full. However, we do see quite a bit more of the commercial I called the Lost Blossom Shampoo Commercial, and I can say one of those words is technically wrong, as it's not just Blossom.

We get to see the setup of the commercial, with Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup looking in the mirror with their bad hair day. It would have been wrong to just have Blossom even if she would have the most impressive hairstyle for a hair product ad. I did suspect that Bubbles and Buttercup should appear as well considering there's three superhero mascots at the end of the commercial. Three Powerpuff Girls, three Showerpuff Girls.

Having Bubbles and Buttercup in this commercial also means that the almost Sailor Moon-esque hair transformation scene Blossom got also happens to Bubbles and Buttercup as well. I can at least do a quick GIF of Buttercup's.

Bubbles gets one too, but the clip of Bubbles is a little too short and I couldn't really fix it like I tried to do with Buttercup. Each of the girls do get different effects. Bubbles gets a wind-like effect, possibly representing the spiky haired mascot, and Buttercup gets the combing cream, representing the long red haired watery mascot.

Now with the appearance in this compilation, this is how much of the commercial we have now.

We went from just under 3 seconds to 7 seconds of what could be a 15 or 30 second commercial. I should point out that even with all of these different reels, we have exactly zero seconds of audio from this commercial, as the reels and compilation plays these clips over stock music and the English Powerpuff Girls' opening, respectively.

I did joke about what the rest of the commercial would be like, and that obviously wasn't going to be accurate. Thanks to having the intro, I can make a good summary of what it actually could be:

Professor Utonium sees the Powerpuff Girls in dis-tress, yadda yadda yadda, the Powerpuff Girls' hair gets restored to their usual glory thanks to the power of Hidratacion Intensa. Warning: baby shampoo will still not give your baby superpowers.

Much like that Seinfeld episode, the yadda yadda does hide what could be interesting: what did the Professor do? Does he pull out the brand new hair products, spawning those superhero mascots to help out Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup? Or...did he create those superhero mascots? Have I stumbled upon the most obscure Powerpuff Girls in any officially-sanctioned media before I made that article about Bittercup? There's only one way to find out, and I wish I could find that way.

One commercial I could find because Cartoon Network themselves uploaded it is this O Movimento Cartoon PSA. Yes, we know, there's already a well hated episode with this exact concept, but the live-action/animated hybrid style looks really cool. Maybe if the CW show used that, maybe it would have been greenlit! Or, maybe not.

< Part 2 - ? >

[valiantstarlights]

Personal Trainer Dream being Horny on Main is my life's one true joy

He may even take progress pictures of Hob during the course of his "training"

Week 1 of Relationship

Hob suddenly gets a picture of him taking two of Dream's pianist fingers (and Hob suddenly has to find a way not to be horny on main)

Week 52 of Relationship

Hob gets a short video clip of Dream gently coaxing him into pushing out the toy Hob has been wearing the whole day and Dream pushing in to keep Hob full

I think this ask made my fever worse and took me out for an additional one (1) business day. 😂

But yeah, same 😊 Dream being horny on main for Hob will always be S-tier to me. 🥰

And progress pictures??? 🔥 Yes.

I imagine Week 1 Hob would be super flustered upon receiving that notification. What does Mr. Endless (Dream 🖤) mean by this? Is he praising him for the progress he's making? Or maybe he's asking him to provide an update on his 'homework'?

Meanwhile, Dream sent that picture to Hob simply because he wants Hob to know that he's looking forward to 'training' him again 😏 Like, it's a sext. (kinda) No hidden meanings whatsoever about it. And yeah, okay, maybe he would like for Hob to reply with something sweet like, "I can't stop thinking about you, too 🥰" or a flustered, "Dream! 🥺 I'm at work 🥺🥺" but it's fine if he doesn't. Dream just wants Hob to know how crazy he is about him and how much he occupies his thoughts.

So imagine Dream's face when, half an hour after he sends that picture, he receives Hob's reply. And it's a picture as well?

He makes the mistake of checking the notification.

It's Hob inside a university bathroom stall, trousers down and simple cotton briefs pushed to the side, showing off the (small) buttplug he went to work wearing. He's red in the face, but also smiling sweetly. And the caption is, "Doing my homework! 🥰"

(Dream runs to the staff locker room so quickly to masturbate while looking at Hob's ass and hairy thighs and cute smile. Oh, but what he'd do to be in that stall with him to personally check on his progress!)

As the weeks go by with Dream and Hob exchanging 'training' pictures for updates (it's not sexting! how dare you lmao), maybe Dream thinks that Week 52 needs something special, and so he sends a video instead.

(At this point, his phone's very hidden [and password protected] spank bank is just filled with pictures and videos of Hob 'training.')

Hob still gets shy and squirmy whenever he gets Dream's training pictures of him, but it's a video this time, and ???? Oh gosh, does he really sound like that? He sounds so slutty and well-used, and Dream hasn't even fucked him proper yet.

But it's Dream's voice that makes him whine out loud. His gentle coaxing, and his soft "Good boy," followed by the sound of him finally entering Hob like they've both been wanting to, and the sounds the two of them make as Dream tongue fucks his mouth while his cock starts thrusting inside him.

The video is less than a minute long, but it got him so hot and bothered that he has to cancel his last two classes to rush home (to Dream's house). But then...Dream is home, too? And he's been waiting?

Hob scolds him half-heartedly because doesn't Dream know that he still has a couple of classes left to teach? But he melts when Dream pulls him closer to kiss him. It's just one day in a year, Dream reasons. And anyway, it's a long weekend, and his students would be glad to have more free time.

And...wouldn't Hob want to spend the next few days reviewing everything he learned that year? He's made such a huge progress and Dream is very proud of everything he has accomplished.

(Hob comes to work the following week still dazed but happier than ever. Dream had stretched and fucked him so well, but he also made sure to give him lots of aftercare so he doesn't feel as sore as he should have. His hole still intermittently twitches whenever he remembers their long weekend, but he's wearing a brand new custom made plug keeping Dream's cum inside him from just that morning, so it's fine.)

(Little does he know that the plug vibrates and oscillates to target his prostate. Dream kept that one a surprise, only turning it on when they're both back home. He doesn't want anyone else to see Hob's pleasure-filled face or hear his seductive moans, no matter how many toys he uses to train his cute little hole with.)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All right, this is my post about John Oliver’s appearance on Russell Howard’s podcast that’s going to get way more detailed about the Chocolate Milk Gang than anyone wants (I can already picture @lastweeksshirttonight reply to this to say they care, so I should amend that to say there is one person who wants that, but they have already listened to the episode and don't really need to be told what's in it, leaving this post still of interest to no people). So here is a cut.

It's been just a little bit over a year now since the couple of months I spent doing constant posts to update everyone on my progress through the rabbit hole of understanding the meaning of "Chocolate Milk Gang". A journey that started with an effort to just explain the name, but grew much bigger than that. Consider this post a continuation of those ones.

Okay. Okay. In order to find all the things I wanted to reference for this post, I decided to make one folder on my hard drive called Chocolate Milk Gang, where I collect all the video, audio, and PDF files that relate to the intersection of CMG members, and I've got to admit I had a moment of looking at the whole folder and saying, "This is all starting to feel a bit Beautiful Mind." But anyway, it is convenient to have it all in one place.

Anyway. Here are the couple of clips I cut out of that podcast for that folder:

There's a lot to unpack here, comedian gossip-wise. Football stories that I'm always happy to hear again. Between Kitson's radio shows, Russell Howard/Jon Richardson's radio show, and The Bugle, I've heard enough different stories to suggest that apparently Al Pitcher's wedding was a hell of a time.

There's also some stuff in that Edinburgh clip that isn't specifically relevant the the CMG, but is relevant to some other stuff I've been posting about in the last few months. Stuff about the difference between British and American comedy, and how I'm pretty sure those differences are largely shaped by the Edinburgh Festival. Specifically by the fact that anyone can go to the Edinburgh Festival, making it very different from something like Just For Laughs that we have here, which is invite only (plus a few spots that can be won in auditions). And I think this is what makes British comedy much more similar to Australia/NZ comedy than it is to North American comedy, because they have MICF over there that's similar to Edinburgh.

John Oliver sums it up well here:

You can kind of finish your ‘bulletproof’ – to the extent that that was true, which it wasn’t – but as close to a solid set of comedy that you can produce. At that point, you’re finished, really, right? So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep doing that? There’s probably many cautionary tales that will show you that’s not the way to human happiness. So then you start to break it. And that was where Edinburgh, for me, was so massively important, that you throw away that safety blanket, and then the next year you come back with a brand new hour. You spent a number of years making that twenty minutes, now you have to spend eleven months making an hour.

I wish he'd expanded a bit on the "not the way to human happiness" part, because that interests me. Starting comedy around here, I've seen how different it is from what I hear from British stuff, and obviously there are lots of reasons for that, mainly that I'm comparing low-level stuff that's local to me against great comedians from Britain. I know that Britain also has low-level club comedians, I just don't hear from them all the way over here.

But I have heard a little bit of fairly low-level comedy in Britain, and it's still notably different from what I hear here. Also, some of the comedians I hear around here have been doing it a long time (including my brother, who's been doing it 13 years, doing regular pro spots for over ten, makes enough money off comedy each year so he could probably almost live off his comedy income alone if he didn't mind being extremely poor), have done quite well. I've tried to see what their ambitions are, what the path is that they're trying to get on to the next thing. And there just doesn't really seem to be one. There are occasional spots on CBC that people would like, but those are so rare, so few compared to the number of panel show spots that comedians can try for in Britain, if they want to go that way. And obviously, in Britain, the new comedians are all trying to put together something good enough to take to Edinburgh, even if at first it's just the twenty-minute set that John Oliver was talking about in that clip for the Comedy Zone or something like that. No one here is doing that. They're pretty much doing the exact thing that John Oliver described as "not the way to human happiness", perfecting their 20-minute set so they can impress increasingly important club promoters for years and years and years.

It seems to me like a bad idea to dedicate your whole life to the thing that John Oliver accurately described as "not the way to human happiness", but I'm interested in how many other options there are. You can try for TV and radio spots, I guess, but there aren't many of those here. Some comedians around here try to audition for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival and Just For Laughs, but not many get in because there's not nearly as much to to those festivals as there is to Edinburgh. A couple of people around here have started podcasts, but contrary to what the front page of Chortle each week might suggest, surely not everyone in the entire world can start a podcast. You could sell your soul to social media, obviously - that's always an option no matter what your field is. But if you want to do comedy and don't want that, what else are you supposed to do? I don't ask that question facetiously, I would genuinely like to know and I wish John Oliver would answer it. Which I guess he did, and the answer was to go to Edinburgh until you get good enough to do your own tours. Or, in his case, you make some connections at Footlights, have Ricky Gervais happen to know who you are, then for some reason he mentions your name to Jon Stewart when The Daily Show is looking for a British correspondent. Also you start a podcast.

Anyway. That's the part where John Oliver explained some interesting stuff about the intersections between the comedy industry and the comedy craft, but that's not what we're here for, is it? We're here for some comedian gossip! And this podcast episode provided on that front.

Okay. To explain the significance of one part of that clip, I have to go back a bit. To summer 2022, when I spent ages looking things up to try to find the explanation for the name “Chocolate Milk Gang”. I’d found that it had to do with them being sober when all the other comedians were drunk, to them being considered vaguely nerdy compared to other comedians who were more shouty or smooth or alcoholics. So I got the gist, but this wasn’t enough to fully make sense. I kept coming back to asking: But why chocolate milk, though? Do they drink the chocolate milk? Do they talk about chocolate milk on stage? Do they regularly sacrifice cows in the middle of the night and steal their milk? Or was that just that one time?

The clearest explanation I'd found came from a 2007 article that said:

Part of a new breed of stand-up dubbed the Chocolate Milk Gang for rejecting a hard-living ethos, they include the likes of Daniel Kitson, Demetri Martin, John Oliver, David O’Doherty, Josie Long and Alun Cochrane, and can be characterised by their romantic sensibility, intelligence, geekiness, love of indie music and passive-aggressive, alpha male competitiveness.

But that doesn't explain the name. Sure, chocolate milk is a sort of nerdy drink, but there had to be a reason why that specific drink got used in their nickname. I remember at one point saying in a frustrated Tumblr post that in the early 00s, I was hanging out with my high school friends, and we were nerdy and sober and liked to imagine ourselves as romantic and intelligent, but we never named ourselves after chocolate milk, because that is not a thing that just automatically happens to everyone who’s a nerd.

So I kept searching. There were just barely enough references to the term on the internet for me to be pretty sure it was really used, but few enough for me to occasionally doubt that. There are really very, very few direct references to the actual name “Chocolate Milk Gang” out there.

They are so rare that I once listened to an entire Comedian’s Comedian podcast episode featuring the worst person in the entire world, just because I’d read that he mentions the words “Chocolate Milk Gang” in it, which turned out to not even be true. Actually, he just talked a bunch of shit about David O’Doherty in the ComCom episode, and then on a different podcast months later, he talked to a different guy about how DO’D had (shockingly) disliked the comments he'd made on the ComCom podcast, and it’s there that he mentions that DO'D was in a Chocolate Milk Gang. And I listened to both episodes. To two hours of the worst person in the fucking world talking, just so I could hear someone say “Chocolate Milk Gang”, because instances of that were so rare. And he didn’t even actually say “Chocolate Milk Gang” – got the name wrong and called them the “Chocolate Milk Brigade”. And listening to those two hours pissed me off so much that I lost respect for Stuart Goldsmith just because he was able to be in a room with that guy and not punch him in the fucking face.

I hate to focus on him and normally when I complain about that on this blog I just refer to him as the worst person in the world rather than getting specific, but in the interests of laying this all out in one place, the Chocolate Milk Brigade reference is about 15:30 into this:

I get into the McSavage stuff because me listening to all that bullshit really shows just how incredibly rare direct mentions of the term "Chocolate Milk" in relation to those comedians are, how hard they were to find so I'd listen to anything. I did, however, find a number of things that described the phenomenon, but just didn't use the name. Notably, this clip from Stewart Lee's Alternative Comedy Experience TV show:

Or this clip from Russell Howard and Jon Richardson's radio show, recorded live from the Edinburgh Festival in 2007, looking back at Edinburgh 2006 with guest Richard Herring:

Interesting that both Lee and Herring identify them specifically as being strange and different for not spending the entire month of August drunk. That probably says more about Lee and Herring than about anything else.

So they go by many names, apparently. The Chocolate Milk Brigade, in the words of David McSavage. The Hanging Around Gang, in the words of Stewart Lee. The annoyingly sober nerds of the circuit, according to Richard Herring. The Guys with the Bags, in the words of Andrew Maxwell. The International Crime Syndicate that Sometimes Organizes Soccer Matches, in the words of John Oliver (okay, he was talking about FIFA when he said those words, but I think they also apply to the CMG).

That Stewart Lee clip has them come so close to using their actual name, but they still don't quite say it. The very rare instances of the actual name being referenced include that bullshit McSavage saga, that extremely weird article I quoted above, and this clip from David O'Doherty's episode of the Comedian's Comedian podcast that I finally - finally found after searching for so long (I consider it very lucky that David O'Doherty went on the ComCom podcast before the worst person in the world did, because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten his brilliant episode at all, since it's my understanding that for some time after that horrible episode he wasn't on speaking terms with David McSavage or Stuart Goldsmith, fucking understandably):

God, re-listening to that is reminding me of how exciting it was to find it for the first time last year, after searching for so long. Actually, to illustrate how exciting it was, I still need to get a cat and name it Stuart Goldsmith. Early in the episode, DO'D talked a bit about his early Edinburgh days, and I paused the recording to make a post on Tumblr about that discussion, and how close they came to discussing the Chocolate Milk Gang, and how much I wanted my answer. In that post, I said something like: "Stuart Goldsmith, if you can get an explanation out of David O'Doherty for the Chocolate Milk Gang, I will name my first cat after you." As a joke about how I do not want kids but felt that this was important enough to offer something on the same level as letting him have my firstborn. A bit later in the same episode, when he delivered on that, I made a follow-up post to 1) share the above clip, which I deemed the Holy Grail of audio clips, as I'd looked for it for so long, and 2) admit that I do need to name a cat after Stuart Goldsmith now.

I've just dug up the post that I made after I first heard that clip - a post from August 19, 2022 - and in it, I transcribe what DO'D said. I shall copy/paste some of it:

David O’Doherty: ’02 was the year where I came [to Edinburgh] with a show, I’d been a bit sad and tried to write a show… and I met just a bunch of people. I met Kitson, I met Conchords, I met Taika Waititi, who’s a movie director now, I met Zaltzman, I met John Oliver, I met Josie Long – I’d met her before but, we were all just trying to figure out a kind of a thing that we wanted to do. And it didn’t quite fit with what was successful around then, because none of us were… I guess you could categorize it as quite low-status individuals. As in, we didn’t walk out with smoke machines, and if we did shout from off stage it was something ironic, about, like, “Get ready to try and stay awake for an hour, because this room is bullshit. Ladies and gentlemen!” You know, and that was… whereas before, that was the start of shiny floor comedy that we see on TV now. So it was like people in tailored suits and bowing, and getting the adulation – that was just never a thing I wanted to do. My father’s a jazz musician, and jazz is like the opposite of that.” Stuart Goldsmith: In those comedians that we’ve named, do you see a sort of reflection of your styles in each other’s work? Because there are sort of similarities, like a common trope of that kind of gang is to treat something gentle and meandering and whimsical as if it’s, you know, like a rap battle or something. To kind of pretend like you’re Notorious B.I.G., talking about a unicorn. David O’Doherty: Oh, that. Yeah, I mean, that’s… that’s pretty low, what you’ve just said. Stuart Goldsmith: [laughter] Well it’s something that’s copied a lot now, and I think it originated with Kitson and with you doing Late ‘n Live. That whole thing of going, “strap in, buckle up.” But now, every idiot in tight jeans is going, “Strap in,” but without a sense of why. David O’Doherty: Right, yeah. Yeah, I guess we were… yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, I’ve always felt that I’m trying to say something reasonably profound. I’ve never done a show that was just a load of jokes, and was just trying to fill the time with talking about, you know, fairy lights and bunting, which was sort of the perception, I think, people who never came to the shows, or some people who reviewed it, would have had around the time. Of like, “Where is he from? I don’t know, but I’d like to visit it.” You know, I’ve always tried to talk about the things that were important. It’s just that those things manifested themselves as the tale of a suicidal lobster, which was the first show here, or whatever it was then. So, you know, none of that was very tough. I remember once, we were referred to as… Me: Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, for the love of God, tell me what you were referred to as. David O’Doherty: …because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang. Which isn’t something you see… Stuart Goldsmith: By who? David O’Doherty: I think Glenn Wool, or something like that. Stuart Goldsmith: Okay, for people who don’t know Glenn Wool, he very much typifies the… David O’Doherty: Well, he was certainly then, he was like a party, a mega-party dude then. I remember Andrew Maxwell… Stuart Goldsmith: [laughing] Sorry, even your use of the phrase “mega party dude” firmly establishes you as a chocolate milk guy. David O’Doherty: I remember Maxwell, who’s a friend of mine – Andrew Maxwell is such a much more alpha character – brackets, shorter – than me, and he once said to John Oliver, “You lads, you’ve always got bags.” Because we had, as in a backpack or a satchel. And we probably had, like jokes, or like, books, and he was always like, “What’s in your bag?” Like there was something going on, just… we have effigies of you, and we have ceremonies that you’re not allowed to come to.

In that copy-paste of that my old post, I would like to draw your attention to this quote: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang."

I said at the time that it didn't matter, because of course I was so happy to have the central mystery answered that I could overlook one little confusing bit. But of course, I still tried for a while to look it up. I couldn't quite understand what DO'D was saying - it sounded to me like "favorait", or maybe "fav-o'rait"?

I Googled all these things, but it was hard when I didn't even know what type of place it was. I was picturing a sort of 7/11-style corner store, a place that was open late and sold milkshakes. But I didn't know what it actually was. So I was just Googling a word that I didn't know how to spell, and I didn't know what context to add. Throwing in the word "Edinburgh" didn't help.

At some point I took to Google Maps, and then Google Earth. He said the went "over" to get milkshakes after Late 'n' Live, which suggested to me that it couldn't be far from the Gilded Balloon. They wouldn't travel all that far in the middle of the night when they'd just done a whole big comedy show. So I looked around the map to see if I could find anything by that name, but nothing came up. I eventually gave up on finding it.

However. However. Here's a shortened version of the clip I posted earlier, of John Oliver on the recent Russell Howard podcast episode, talking about Edinburgh. Here's a short clip of just the part that's relevant to this post, where he talks about the CMG days:

He said it! He said it! That's the same word DO'D said, the name of the store, but John Oliver said it more clearly so I was inspired to try Googling again.

I tried Googling potential spellings with the word "Edinburgh" for a while, but nothing came up. Then I realized something (and this part isn't going to make this post sound less Beautiful Mind-y): this is a tradition that started in 2002. The Gilded Balloon burned down in December 2002, and was rebuilt nearby. So in August 2002, when the CMG started, the Gilded Balloon was in a different place to where it is now. All that searching on Google Maps/Earth, I was looking in the wrong spot.

So I did some Googling to try to find the original address for the Gilded Balloon. My CMG research from the last year has led me to know a hell of a lot about the Gilded Balloon. I even know its layout and backstage quite well, since it was heavily featured in that Tim Minchin documentary (I even know more than I need to about how the dressing rooms look, by which I mean there were more shots than I needed of Tim Minchin with his clothes off). But I couldn't find its original exact address. I knew that it was originally in a place called Cowgate, which is a neighbourhood and/or street and/or square (this is why I've named the cow sacrificing event Cowgate, even though that occurred at the new location in 2003). I learned today that it was supposed to become a casino but Karen Koren made it a comedy club instead. I learned that its original building used to be a J. & R. Allan's department store. But I couldn't find its specific address.

However, I did find that the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started in something called Hastie's Close. So I went to that place on Google Earth, figuring the fire couldn't have spread all that far. I set the year to 2005, which was the closest year to 2002 for which Google Earth had archive data around there. And I just explored the area.

I didn't actually expect to find anything, really. But then, suddenly, it appeared before me:

So... mystery solved. Look, to be honest, most of this post has just been to give context to try to explain why the fuck I was so excited to find an Edinburgh diner that, as I now know because once I knew exactly what I was looking for I was able to look the place up, closed down years ago. It's exciting because it's the last little piece of the answer that I was so excited to find last year.

That's what David O'Doherty actually said: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to Favorit and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang." And Favoirt is not a 7/11-style corner store, it's a diner that even had a license to sell alcohol late (according to its front window), but is clearly the sort of place that's more about the milkshakes than it is about being a bar. And it is, in fact, very near the original Gilded Balloon. Or at least, it's very near the place where the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started.

I am so pleased to have found a spelling, description, and even picture to go with the [inaudible] word that David O'Doherty said in that Holy Grail audio clip, tying up that one loose end over a year later.

Why does that matter? Look, I'm not quite sure, but it definitely seemed important. It definitely seemed sweet to hear John Oliver in 2023 reminisce about going for milkshakes in Edinburgh, and hanging out with "Jermaine [Clement] and Brett [McKenzie] and Demetri [Martin] at Favorit" - he came so close to using the actual CMG name, despite not quite specifically saying it.

Like I said, a lot to unpack in that podcast episode. I have now unpacked one tiny, tiny part of it, and it was the least important part. But I did unpack it. It's unpacked now. You're welcome.

...As I keep saying, there are worse things I could have gotten deeply obsessed with as a way to cope with the changing world in pandemic times. I could have gotten really into Jordan Peterson, like some ex-CMG members/hosts of podcasts about a box for things people like, that I could name. At least I didn't do that. I just occasionally spend two hours on Google Earth to find a long-closed diner in Edinburgh. I'm doing fine.

[sage-lights]

Hey, first off I want to say thank you for creating a space where we can have a respectful but honest discussion about everything that’s been going on with smosh. I just want to put something put there regarding Olivia. I’m not excusing her in any way, but I find it interesting how people bash her for things that other smosh members have done without receiving the same amount of criticism.

A lot of people are calling Olivia ableist, and she may well be, we don’t have anything to go off of apart from the handicapped spot l, but declaring that based only on the parking spot thing from who memed it seems unfair. First of all, while not an excuse, Olivia seemed to be trying to play up the clueless persona she has established and in doing so dug herself deeper into a hole the more she spoke. I actually saw the clip before they edited it out, and it seemed that she tried to make a joke, albeit an unfunny and insensitive one, but that does not necessarily make her ableist. Smosh’s pathetic attempt to cover it up by editing out the clip and deleting comments speaks more to how the company tends to sweep things under the rug. Also, it was mentioned in a funeral roast that Courtney has also parked in the handicapped spot in the smosh parking lot, which relatively few people have called them out on compared to Olivia.

I love Tommy, but in one TNTL he made a quadriplegic joke that he acted out that involved stiff limbs and head head lolling to the side, which no one had a problem with. Maybe it’s not the same, but it stood out to me. There is also the infamous OCD reddit stories, and while there was justifiable backlash, Shayne, Chanse, and Kimmy didn’t have people calling them out specifically as being ableist after the initial backlash and the fandom as a whole seems to have forgiven and forgotten.

Moving away from ableism, other cast members have said questionable things, such as Keith defending michael jackson on an old SmoshCast episode. I feel like if we call Olivia out on her bullshit (as we should) we should extend the same standards to the rest of smosh.

Regarding zionism (Free Palestine, always) Olivia is not the only person from smosh to say something in support of Israel on October 7. It’s not an excuse, but many of them may not have known the full story. American media on that day basically reported it as “terrorists attacked innocent people” and while that is a load of bs, without context, I can see how people might believe it. Again, I am not defending Olivia or any other smosh member who has stayed silent since then, I am only pointing out that people tend to jump to conclusions when it comes to Olivia while letting her cast mates off the hook for similar things. N*ah of course is a different situation I don’t want to get into here, this os long enough.

Again, I am not justifying Olivia’s actions and I am not saying we should not hold her accountable. I just wanted to point out the discrepancies between holding different smosh members accountable.

Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to hear your thoughts. Thank you!

hi anon! thank you for sending this! yeah, i don’t think i called olivia ableist in my post, and i apologize if i did. what she said did cause quite the stir but i completely forgot that part about courtney in the funeral roast too. after these past couple days, i have overall mixed feelings about olivia and i don’t think i’m going to avoid her in videos but you’re right, a lot of the cast has made some mistakes and said/done questionable things. i try to believe the best in people because again, we don’t know them irl but it’s the company/brand of smosh that i begin to get a little cynical about because businesses can be so okay with being gray most the time (if that makes sense).

and yeah, i agree with what you said about keith too. i’m not a fan of how he chooses to ignore all the bad that michael jackson has done so that he can keep idolizing him. but also, i’ve just never really been that big of a fan or keith (or noah) from the beginning.

again, really appreciate you leaving this long ask! the reason why i make posts about smosh and palestine (plus other discourse) is because it’s such tricky territory to navigate as fans. thank you to you (and everyone else) for sharing your thoughts and extra info!

[hologramcowboy]

Since a certain blog continues to spread misinformation without providing valid proof, here's reasons why an actor's social media presence matters towards the casting decision:

They check to see if your actor package is coherent on all social media platforms

They evaluate the each you have because it leads to potential audience for a project

They evaluate how you interact with people (rude online? Say goodbye to being booked)

They evaluate whether or not the image you pitched them matches your online persona and if it is authentic.

They looks to see if you could be a potential production risk ( if your sm is full of pictures of you drunk that might mean you are unreliable on set and might cause issues)

They check to see if you are a professional( you'd be surprised how many supposed actor treat their sm accounts as if they were personal accounts instead of employing them as a marketing tool)

They check to see if you stay informed when it comes to your own craft

They check to see if there are any potential PR issues that might rise from choosing you

They check to see if the image they need you for is in any big way contradicted by what you post and do. (If you want to get hired by Disney but your profile is all edgy and dark then the casting director loses credibility if they are to propose you so they just avoid doing that due to the image conflict - your essence does not match the role, clearly)

They check to see if you promote others and if so how you do that ( if you respect NDAs, etc)

In some cases, they might even do some social listening or market research to determine what the fan reaction is to you.

They look to confirm who you are and what you are about so if your tagline is about telling deep stories but your online presence is vapid and self centered then you will go into the No pile fast because you are not delivering your brand promise.

They looks for pictures or video evidence of the skills you stated on your resume (karate? Horseback riding? Where's the evidence you actually are good at that?)

Goes without saying but first thing they look for is more evidence of your acting skills, do you have character clips posted and named appropriately? Are they easy to find?

I am going to stop here but my point is it is all done to ensure you can be entrusted with the project/role and that your image lines up with their goals for said project.

Feel free to research these, by the way, don't just take them for granted. A lot of misconceptions in fandom stem from people refusing to do research. Like it or not, an actor's package determines whether or not they end up in the Yes pile and SM is very much a part of that package. An online presence for an actor should be their perfect elevator pitch, it's a chance to show all the skills and qualities that make them a bullseye for certain roles and actor who are all over the place and fail to do that have far less chances to be considered professional. If you are not professional and lack industry know how and craft why would someone hire you over a candidate that is your exact opposite?

[modded-xcom2-aar]

The Tutorial: Part 1

Dan's Notes: Due to the more cinematic, cutscene-heavy nature of the opening tutorial mission, the whole of it has been depicted in video form. This will not be the case with most missions. It should also be noted that the tutorial is skippable, as are the DLC missions, but for the sake of storytelling, I have enabled them. In addition, this update will be a fair bit longer than most updates will so I can get all the tutorial stuff out of the way.

Operation Gatecrasher After Action Report

After 20 years of struggling and acting underground, XCOM was finally able to perform Operation Gatecrasher, a combined effort by XCOM and the Reapers to locate and rescue Commander , the original operating commander of XCOM. Due to the high-priority nature of this mission, XCOM was forced to execute the mission through unusual and unconventional means.

Operating in this mission were rookie-level soldiers Jane Kelly, Peter Osei, Ana Ramirez, Reaper soldier Elena "Outrider" Dragunova, and Central Command Officer Bradford. Osei and Ramirez were killed in action while the surviving rookie, Kelly, was promoted to a Squaddie-class Ranger. In accordance to XCOM's agreement, Dragunova fled the scene before the deployment of XCOM's forces, rejoining with the nearest group of Reapers.

Thanks to the distraction created by Bradford and Kelly, as well as the efforts of Dragunova, city center forces were minimal during the rescue operation, limited to a handful of troops and a group of reinforcements.

Tutorial Geoscape, Part 1

Dan's Notes: During the recording, this cutscene stuttered, causing audio lag and making it a pain to watch. I have taken this footage from a compilation of cutscenes from the vanilla game. Credit to LFP Gaming for creating the original video, XCOM 2 All Cinematics / Cutscenes / Movie. All other cutscenes posted in this update were taken from my personal recording, and any future instances of outscourcing cutscenes will be noted.

Excerpt from Central Officer Bradford's Journal:

While I was acting undercover, I noticed a lot of commotion about it being the 20th anniversary of the "formation of the ADVENT Coalition". That's a load of bull. Just about any world leader that didn't willingly turn on humanity was being manipulated into doing so, usually with psionic mind control. 20 years, huh? You know, they say you get older your perception of time starts to speed up, but I remember every agonizing moment that led up to this point. Years of travelling and scraping by, slowly finding any other wandering survivors, hearing word of resistance groups until ultimately forming my own and branding it with those four letters I held onto to remember what once was. Osei and Ramirez might have just seemed like just another dissident to the ADVENT troops that slaughtered them, but I'll always remember their parts in reassembling XCOM.

One shower and a set of fresh clothes later, the Commander was ready to go to the science labs.

Dan's notes: The Commander is never given a canonical name, gender, speaking lines, or appearance. The Commander is effectively you, the person playing the video game. I think it's fun for players to create some kind of commandersona, so I have decided to create one. The core idea was to make someone comically unassuming for their elevated status within the fiction. One thing to note is that there isn't really any way to make a fat character in this game, and I'm pretty sure it would be a pain for a modder to pull off without serious clipping issues. As such, I decided to make the Commander fat.

Excerpt from Commander Stumpe's Journal:

Gosh, it's all so darn confusing. It felt like I had been on the longest war of my career, but then one day I find myself getting pulled out of a spacesuit and I'm told the whole thing ended 20 years ago. Jeez, I really hope maybe I can turn things around this time.

At the behest of Chief Science Officer Tygan, Commander ordered the Science team

Excerpt from Commander Stumpe's journal:

Dunno why he called himself a Chief Science Officer when it was really just him and any guy he trusted enough to handle equipment. Odd fellow, that guy. Wonder what happened to Vahlen.

Having survived Operation Gatecrasher, Jane Kelly was promoted from Rookie to Squaddie. Kelly had decided to specialize as a Ranger.

Dan's notes: Although they served as scout units in the vanilla game, their real specialties are their shotguns, which have a higher crit rate than other weapons, and goes up the more up close and personal the Ranger gets. Reapers and Templars outdo them on both stealth and melee terms.

Shortly afterwards, Commander Stumpe was invited by Central Officer Bradford to come to the research labs.

END OF PART 1

[esta-elavaris]

Do you have any advice for someone trying out writing for the first time? No matter if it’s fanfiction or an original work is there something you would suggest or a mantra you try to go by? Or maybe advice you would have told your younger self?

I started stupidly young (like I decided when I was nine that I wanted to be an author) so I can't specifically remember what worked for me when I started, but I still have a few things that I think/hope will be helpful! There was a period around 2017-2019 where I wrote an abysmally small amount because of shitty mental health and then I revamped/reclaimed my writing habit at the very beginning of 2020 and there are a few things that were helpful there.

This book is very, very good (The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, if the link doesn't work) to the point where I literally buy it as a gift constantly for creative folk in my life. It's a very quick read, I reread it often, and it frames procrastination and that sort of self-conscious anxiety that makes writing difficult at times in a really new and clever way. The author has done a few podcast appearances if the book isn't something you can access.

Another person who I've found really inspiring/motivational is David Goggins - his stuff is more overtly tailored towards physical exercise and that sort of realm, but what he says can absolutely be applied to creativity, too, but he's a bit more of a divisive figure - some people love him and his brand of encouragement, others despise it. He has a couple of very good books, a tonne of podcast appearances, and he posts smaller clips on IG. Personally, I adore it, he's one of my favourite humans.

At the heart it's all about not letting the shit your mind tells you impact what you actually do, and a massive part of writing (at least for my anxious self) is ignoring that voice in the back of your mind screaming that every sentence/paragraph/chapter is hot shit and you should just quit. So I don't really have specific mantras, just stuff by those guys as well as a few different songs that hype me up.

In terms of specific advice, the game changer for me was deciding to write every single day as a rule. It's the best thing I ever did for my writing. The original plan was to only do it for the entire year of 2020 to get back into good habits, but then that year ended and I haven't stopped yet, with no plans to do so - I'm literally on my 1200th+ consecutive day right now. It's tough for the first few months, especially when you're getting used to consciously making time for it (I've literally written on my phone at bus stops, or when everybody else has gone to bed at a sleepover/party, the works to maintain the streak), but eventually it becomes second nature. Not every day can be good and groundbreaking, but you have to get through the mediocre days to earn the great ones and writing as much as possible sort of streamlines that process. Creativity is like a muscle in that regard, the more you use it and the more you show up, the more it'll show up for you.

Kind of linked to that last point, I'd also recommend working on a couple of different things at once. That way if you're stuck on one project, you can switch to the other - and by the time you get stuck on the other one, you'll probably be ready to go back to the first one. It's a good way to keep writing and keep yourself in the habit of writing even if you're taking a break from one specific thing. I could never just work on one thing 24/7 because I'd end up getting painfully bored and it would show in the project.

ALSO final bit of technical advice - the pomodoro technique is great for this sort of thing. There are plenty of YouTube videos that do the timing for you if you search for stuff like "study with me pomodoro" etc. and it frames things in a much more doable light. It breaks down your time into 25 minute chunks of work, and then rests in-between, so working on a project no longer feels like "man I need to write a whole chapter", it's just "I need to write for 25 minutes".

Finally, books in general are your best friend. Not just for inspiration, but because they can really help with insecurity. If I think I use too many dashes as punctuation, I pick up a few books and go hunting for them and see I don't use a stupidly higher amount than some of my favourite authors. If you look at books as a writer, you can find paragraphs that exist just to get the characters from point A to point B without containing any groundbreaking bits of literary prose. The sort of stuff you don't usually notice if you're just reading as a reader.

You can even find passages you don't personally like but that don't ultimately detract from the book being good (or if it does in your opinion, you can probably then find droves of people online who ADORE the book and think it's perfect, which is a good reminder of how subjective this whole thing is - I love reading negative reviews of my favourite books for that reason, it's a good reminder that there's no pleasing EVERYBODY so there's no point in trying) just to counteract any perfectionist tendencies.

Essentially, write as much as possible, read as much as possible, and have fun doing it. The only thing I'd really tell my younger self is to keep going for it, and to never quit.

This is a whole ass essay now, sorry about that -- if there's anything specifically that I didn't talk about, feel free to lmk. And thank you for asking! I'm majorly flattered that you'd want my advice on the topic 💜 good luck!

[carlageddon]

Now where was I?

So, after a small stint in Arkham... I mean.. Hospital, I’m now back.

The day before I went in to Hospital, I had family over which meant my Brother-in-law and I could go into Games Workshop to have a look - he too hasn’t been in one since the 90s.

The miserable bastard that I had a run in with, that I mentioned on a previous post, was working. I’m not sure if he had caught wind of my rantings to a sister-store about his attitude, or maybe he just got laid recently, but it was like talking to a different person. Maybe he just hated me and liked my Brother-in-law? 

Any way. We talked about the same sort of things. I wanted to get into playing the games, but don’t really have any friends. The ones I do have, don’t want to buy anything themselves and don’t want to play games that take 12 hours and you have to use tape measures, templates, make sacrifices to the old gods, or anything other than, roll a dice and move... it’s why we stick to a simplified rule-set of HeroQuest. 

He was instantly showing us how Warhammer: Age of Sigmar had dramatically been “streamlined” since the days of Warhammer: Fantasy. He took us over to the table where he’d set up some starter sets, and briefly talked us through the combat, which did seem a lot easier (I appreciate there is still a tonne more to it than that, but with the refreshed attitude it made the world of difference). 

We looked through the different started box sets as well choosing which ones we should go for (I seriously think, if the guy at the store was like this on my original visit I think I’d of walked out with a few starter sets). 

Sadly my Brother-in-law lives on a different planet in a different country we can’t get together to play anything which is a shame. However, due to the marvels of technology, we are trying to come up with a game we can play, using something like FaceTime to video call with each other over a game, both buy the same game and extras and play that way. 

If anyone has any experience playing any of these sort of games virtually (doesn’t even have to be a Games Workshop branded game) let me know.

We looked through pretty much all the box sets that were in the store. We figured Warhammer 40K, Warhammer: Age of Sigmar and Lord of the Rings would be too ‘large’ to try and do this. Kill Team would be too long & Complicated for two people to try and copy what each other were doing. Blood Bowl was a possibility, but again, both of us would of had to manage each others players on each of our own boards... then he suggested Warhammer Underworlds.

It’s played over tiles, so no tape measures or templates. There are only a few figures each side (known as Warbands) so easy for two international players to maintain two “mirrored” games. The box set gives you standard figures. 

I told the fella in the shop that I was about to go into surgery, so there was no point in me buying anything yet. I don’t think he believed me. 

However once I got out of hospital, my girlfriend, feeling sorry for me, said that if I got a game, she would learn to play it with me (this is a big thing, she hates the hobby and I don’t think she quite understands it’s always going to be a little more complicated than snakes and ladders). So I brought a copy of the Warhammer: Underworlds Starter Box.

So the first step is done. I have brought the starter game. (I see there was a Warband of Crooked Moon Goblins.. I do like me a goblin or two... more on this Warband add-on later). Now to convince my Brother-in-Law to get the same starter set... he’s trying, but will have to come over to the UK later this month to pick up an English version.

So far so good. Let’s take it out the box. See what we got. Boards, Dice, Cards, Miniatures on Sprues.. rule book.. OK let’s spend the first half of the day, making the miniatures up.. (had to wait another day to Amazon some clippers and a knife).

OK the 8 miniatures have been assembled. They all clip together so no need for Superglue just yet. Really like the modern figures. I am going to avoid painting these until I am a little better.

Now on to learning how to play. Let’s have a look at the Rule book... I mean.. it can’t be that complicated can it? 

   “History of the Underworld... something, something, tree, something, something, undead ghosts, something, something, Gold Army, something, something, what’s in the box, something... to start a game of Warhammer Worlds first roll the dice, if it is a Thursday and the Sun shines brightly and there are birds in the sky and if you had egg for breakfast you can put a figure down but not before you clap your hands and do the dance of the midnight monkeys.....” 

  I’m starting to get a bit lost. Maybe i’m stupid, maybe it’s the pain medication, maybe I need to go to Wizard School for a couple of years?

I know I will go to my local Games Workshop and ask for advice. Surely anyone that works there will have to know the rules of the games they are selling?

Bearing in mind, this is the first time “out” for two weeks. I’m still not great on my feet. I meet up with my flat-mate for lunch first. We nip into Games Workshop and there is a little Canadian Dwarven girl, on her own struggling to stack the top shelves. She doesn’t seem to chatty.

...you know.. maybe it is me that’s the problem...?

 I ask if she knows how to play Underworlds. She didn’t. That ended that conversation. 

(I’d of thought due to the nature of the business, all staff should know the basics of all their games, so it makes it easier for them to sell them, when I asked which games she plays, she replied. None. She just likes to paint. Well Gimli, on that basis I could do your job). So I decided to show my flat-mate the game, which led me to buy the previously mentioned Grinkrak’s LoonCourt Warband addon. Who doesn’t love a good group of Squigs & Goblins.

A week later and we venture out further and I visit the Gloucester store, I like visiting this store. The staff in there are super friendly, knowledgeable and always make the time to chat. The younger lad there knows Underwolds quite well and invites me to come in on Sunday afternoon so he and another member of staff, will gladly go through the game and teach me the rules. 

Then because of how nice the guys are there, I ended up buying another couple of Warbands - to be honest, it wasn’t a hard sell... “Gryselle’s Arenai has only just come out today..” Yeah OK then..

The Exiled Dead and Gryselle’s Arenai. Wonder if there is a list of all the Warbands out there?

I’m looking forward to Sunday and I know I’m going to end up buying more... 

I’m hoping that I enjoy the game and I can pick up the rules so I can teach my girlfriend and my Brother-in-law how to play.

Stay tuned folks and I’ll let you know how this journey goes.

[arrowofyarrow]

Why I stopped trying to find a style

Video transcript:

I think finding a style is one of those things every young artist starts to crave. On YouTube alone, there’s probably thousands of formulas on how to find it. We want an identity. We all want to be defined somehow. I think that’s how we get noticed, that’s how we get understood and seen. In some ways, an identity feels like a stepping stone to being loved.

I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve started to crave that anew, even more than in my teen years. Honestly, my teen years might’ve been the most defined I’ve ever been, to myself at least. I was the outsider. I was shy and unnoticed most of the time. I existed to be inoffensive. The simple truth of where I belonged in the world was that I didn’t. At the very least, I could be certain about that, despite the pain of rejection.

Over the past few years I’ve wandered through a lot of different art mediums, styles, and even art brand names. Every time I tell myself “this is the one, I’ll commit to this one this time”. I never really did. I couldn’t keep myself to just one or two paths. I was an acrylic painter, a digital painter, an oil painter, a sculptor.

Most recently I’ve been into studying oil painting, but even that doesn’t feel quite right. The painting you’re seeing in front of you is oil, intended to be in alla prima, but I decided to let it dry over the course of a month to put another layer on top. It’s mainly just a value study for a course I’m taking. I committed to it because I wanted to commit to something, finally, and I discovered I really liked how oils felt over acrylics.

The course itself is pretty structured. It leads you through the elements of art and how you can use them to create effective oil paintings. You can choose any subject, but it teaches the application of these elements if you’re working from photographs or with a live subject in front of you. I thought, “oh okay good, so this is the way I should be trying to do it if I want to be successful”. Like with many things I do, I put my whole heart into it. I tried to commit. I wanted to be able to focus on one thing and finally make steady progress in it.

But like with a lot of things I try to commit to, I get distracted by the butterfly out the window. I was asked to explore values for as many paintings as I really wanted, and so I did. I sketched out the values of paintings I liked, I created my own value plans for original paintings, and then I got fascinated by something a little to the left of it. I got fascinated with night vision as an effect.

It’s that neon green you see in trail cams or ghost hunting videos. I adored the way things faded into any sources of light that might be present, like a flashlight. I loved the way peoples eyes glowed. Now all the sudden I started studying that, grabbing clips of night vision from YouTube videos to recreate digitally. All the while I continued to study anatomy, despite my art’s focus at the time being landscapes and buildings.

I spent months going down a rabbithole, and I kicked myself for it. I felt like I impeded my own progress despite never wasting a single moment of art-making. I was always doing something, following some curiosity, and actively improving my work. But none of that seemed to matter because I strayed from my self-assigned path. How was I supposed to make it if I kept getting distracted like this? But really, this had nothing to do with how successful I could be. I was trying to fulfill an emotional need for a creative identity. I wanted to be recognized for something as compensation for my hard work— to take a fast track to feeling like my work was valuable. But I didn’t realize this was at the expense of my creative freedom.

I really think a desire to find a style sabotages the ability to actually find a style. My inability to deal with uncertainty crept into every aspect of my work. I felt anxious and reluctant to try any of my ideas that broke the mould. Trying to approach new projects made me feel like my mind was twisting and turning, trying to find the right angle to work from where it could plan out every step in advance and guarantee a perfect piece. It filled me with fear that promoted procrastination. You end up spending so much of your energy trying to shoehorn yourself into a box that you forget to find what actually makes you you, and you can’t do that with a carefully structured plan.

The issue was never that I didn’t have a style, though that would have helped me make more art faster, it would have limited me in the end, and that would have been a disaster if I didnt like where I was. Because we tend to try to prove our identities correct once we have them. If I identified as a portrait painter, then I would mostly seek to affirm that belief about myself because it would comfort me in its familiarity. That would have overridden any dissatisfaction I was feeling from being a portrait painter. And it almost did, because even though it wasn’t a very firm identity yet, I craved its solidity.

The painting you’re watching was a step in the right direction. I broke away from the methods I expected of myself just a little bit. This painting is based off of a photo, but I used my love of night vision to turn it into something a little more true to me. The lighting in this image is completely made up, I just stole the composition and the subjects from an image I took during the fall. I figured out that I wasn’t happy doing representational art. The images I created had to have a little bit of something I had in my own mind or else it didn’t feel like mine. All of my ideas are more-or-less preformed images in my mind and it felt disingenuous to try to find some other image to replace it. In the times I did, I felt I hadn’t actually expressed myself at all.

I still don’t really know who I am, but that’s much more of a symptom of being in your 20s than any fault of mine. And I’m no more closer to finding my style, but at least I’m more fulfilled by the things I’m creating. There’s a certain amount of faith you have to have. You have to believe that you’ll find it at some point and keep casting off old selves. Honestly, maybe that’s what you do for the rest of your life. Maybe there is no destination. Our true selves might not be some permanent state of being that lies underneath it all from the moment we’re born. Our selves are probably just the experience of being at the specific intersection of being in this body, at this moment in time, in this exact location, with these previous experiences. A self is created in the moment another dies. The way to art and life might just to be embracing the uncertainty that comes with that condition.

[hamptonmcnulty43]

Computer Details For Beginners And Experts As well

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[antikastuff]

Best Survey Sites, 10 Top Paid Surveys For Money

There are several websites that provide paid internet surveys. But regrettably, not all of them are trustworthy or worthwhile for your time.

Fortunately, I personally evaluated more than 50 different online survey platforms and whittled them down to the top 17. You needn’t do it that way.

1. Survey Junkie

Survey Junkie is my preferred website for paid internet surveys.

They are among the highest-paid online surveys, so they are number one on our list for a good reason.

In fact, if you stick to the higher-paying surveys, you can make between $1 and $50 for every survey at a rate of $12 to $18 per hour.

However, if you choose to participate in the lesser-paid surveys, you can reasonably expect to make just $5 to $10 each hour, which is still respectable for a survey site.

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2. Swagbucks

You may earn money with Swagbucks by doing online side jobs in addition to taking paid surveys.

You can earn points for other activities other than merely taking surveys online for cash, such as viewing videos, finishing free trial offers, doing web searches, buying online, clipping coupons, and more.

You acquire so-called Swagbucks after doing each activity.

Then you can convert these Swagbucks for a variety of rewards, including free gift cards to stores like Target or Amazon, money in the form of PayPal currency, and more.

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3. Branded Surveys

On our list of the top survey sites, Branded Surveys is ranked third.

The company still pays well, despite not being as established as some of the other top-paid survey sites on this list.

Gain points by participating in paid online surveys and offering your opinion.

Branded Surveys’ quick payout rate is one of my favorite features. You are paid in one to two days, and I can typically make $10 an hour.

Completing surveys can earn you as much as $2.50 after only 15 minutes of work.

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4. LifePoints

LifePoints (a division of the Global Test Market) is swiftly rising to the top of the list of online paid survey providers.

With members in more than 40 different nations, they are well-paying and assert to have paid more than $22 million dollars in the previous year alone.

As soon as you sign up on LifePoints, you may start earning points for giving your opinion on commonplace services and goods. You may exchange these points for PayPal cash or a free gift card of your choosing.

Every new sign-up receives an automatic 10-point welcome bonus.

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5. MobileXpression

One of the easiest survey applications on this list to get extra money is MobileXpression since once installed, you may start earning money right away.

Simply respond to a few questions regarding your typical phone usage when you first install MobileXpression. This covers how long you spend using it, which apps you utilize, and other straightforward inquiries.

After then, MobileXpression websites will run in the background on your phone as you earn free money.

Since you are not working to earn money, you are, in essence, getting a passive income. The only requirement is to keep the program installed.

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6. MySoapBox

They have a high payout percentage and even give you a $2 welcome bonus to get you started.

Each time you do a survey, you receive points that can be redeemed at a variety of stores, including Walmart, Amazon, iTunes, and many more.

For free Amazon gift cards and many other merchants, the minimum payout is $25. Even though it might seem like a lot, you should be able to accumulate this sum rather soon.

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7. InboxDollars

The best part about Inbox Dollars is that they give you a $5 registration bonus right away.

Online surveys alone can make you a lot of money, but you also get paid for completing other things. Play games, watch videos, and engage in other online activities to earn money.

This implies that you can take a break from surveys and earn money by viewing videos or performing other simple tasks.

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8. YouGov

YouGov conducts some of the more engaging online surveys out of all the ones on this list.

Take polls on current issues and express your ideas about current events in exchange for money. Additionally, you can view other people’s viewpoints.

YouGov offers a $2 welcome incentive, and some customers claim to earn $5 to $10 per hour completing paid market research surveys.

Each survey just takes 5 to 10 minutes to complete and pays between $.50 and $1.

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9. Prize Rebel

Prize Rebel has recently grown on me as a reliable survey site, and I’m not the only one.

Due to their huge payouts and simplicity of use, Prize Rebel has recently received a lot of positive press.

With the correct surveys, you may easily make $10 per hour if you complete them. This compensates for the absence of a registration incentive.

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10. Pinecone Research

In comparison to the other survey websites on this list, Pinecone Research operates rather differently.

When paid surveys become available, they send you an email rather than requiring you to log in and check for them.

The biggest feature of this website for paid surveys is that you can see precisely how much money you make from each survey. You receive $3 for each survey, which lasts about 15 minutes.

You can therefore make up to $12 per hour.

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[holgersenbridges]

Video Creation Tools For Screencast

According to many studies, anyway 80% of today's users have seen a video online. Studies also express that the numbers are continuously rising, that more even more folks are viewing more videos today than they did annually or two ago. This only shows how powerful these clips are acquiring to your market, in which why actually want need to your own video advertising campaign.

Video marketing for free leads step five: Submit your video to a couple of of the highest ranking video sharing locations. Sites like YouTube, Google Video, Yahoo! Video, Associated Content, Dailymotion, Howcast, and Bing. The ones I've mentioned here provide computers starting point, but realise that there are many others. watch videos online| do get very high rankings over a free search engines results of major motors since these video sharing sites likewise have high positions. Branding your products is also important in web video marketing. It has been proved that branding improves product or service sales. A small entrepreneur may broadcast a decent video, but people may quickly forget about it unpredicted expenses not promotional. When people associate a merchandise with a brand, may be easy on to type that name in motors like google. Facebook provides people who run businesses and companies a special page for displaying their brand. These pages attract a lot of visitors whom want to be updated each and every new experience released. These visitors are loyal to the brand. Members of the brand group range from a few thousand to millions depending on the popularity of the brand or owner. important site happens to one of my favorites, "article marketing". Forget what you heard and then forget all one other hype and myths out there, well-liked one for the best free methods a person find. This really is how it works. The internet is one big universe of content and content pages is an even better way of receving your piece of your internet industry. All may to do is a web site search of the top article directories, sign up for free and begin. Now which you've got the slide show and sound you might want to put them together. You'll need an video editing software and had been you computer probably already has one you need to find it and study how to us it. I now there are free video editing software rrn the marketplace that in which all this with. Furthermore getting a again try YouTube or Google video for some research on learning this simple process due to digital nation. Open your FTP program and connection to your set up. Create a new Sub file and name it exactly you in order to be look your URL really enjoy. Upload all your websites and files, much like the image file containing all of the images. Then write for the path of the URL and test of which. If all is correct, your sites should open of each see all of the pictures in place. Click every link to make sure of they be effective. If you get a 404 failure notice, re-check the URL-path and correct any miscalculations. Eventually upload the files as before. Once may finished making your video, you need to upload that video to your. Once your recording device is hooked just about your computer, it should be recognized any moving making software device. These programs will not just allow you to save your video, but edit it as well. Once your video is saved, these items need to adhere to the uploading directions for each online video website that you would a lot video or videos turn out to be uploaded to. Granted, my keyword is not that well-known yet because it is the name of just a new company, but to determine such fast results was exciting alright. As top social media blogs of this company I am promoting gets out, vehicle people check out search to acquire more information about it, my videos will to appear.

[maigetheplatypus57]

Don't mind me just casually replacing my current pinned post of a video clip where a British dude threatens an Irishman in Garry's mod with a new video of another Irish guy (jokingly) threatening a British kid irl