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#attention. let alone help!
mockingmolly · 2 years
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I think it’s really funny that not only was Matt actually looking forward to BH meeting VM, but that one of his biggest hesitances regarding the timing of which they finally did meet keyleth, was in wanting to make sure they couldn’t find a way to make her their personal taxi like they did essek
like, just knowing how cordoned off PC crossovers were in c2 (to the extent that would couldn’t even get council names out of anyone they met) and as someone who was convinced that vm was gonna be off-limits in regards to their current situation, I think it’s SO funny that Matt basically went “ok you guys can have keyleth for the attempted rez of laudna but dear god you CANNOT make her your new essek”
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reel-fear · 1 month
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MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!
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grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.
#ramblez#little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao#this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it#hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD#hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions#it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting#But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent#dw Im not going anywhere <3#also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently#old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD#also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns#he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs#and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get#and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they#dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves#to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent#mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did#so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!
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irritablepoe · 6 months
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Why can't I have friends that want to talk to me?🥲
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dutybcrne · 23 days
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The most openly bratty/fussy Alhaitham anyone can ever get is when he is sick, send tweet-
#hc; alhaitham#//He feels so gross & icky; everything & anything gets So overwhelming; he LOATHES getting sick so much#//WILL make it anyone’s problem if they try pushing him for whatever reason; even if he’s the slightest bit sick#//The only person he’d actively try NOT to ‘inconvenience’ is Kaveh#//But that’s bc he’s WELL aware Kaveh would try & make him being sick his business anyways if he found out#//Even if Haitham would rather he not—bc he knows 1) Kav’s got a lot on his plate & 2) Kav WILL get sick in the process#//Kav surprisingly does Not get whiney or anything when sick—rather; mans LOCKS TF IN#//He got so used to being alone and taking care of himself; mans would NOT ask for help until he is practically passing tf out#//And even THEN it’s begging whoever caught him to finish his task for him; not asking to be taken care of. Would be MORTIFIED if sb did#hc; kaveh#//Bc that’s there now jfbfb#//ANYWHO back on subject#//Haitham gets VERY clingy when sick. VERY clingy; VERY dependent and Vulnerable#//Around his trusted people; anyways#//But ye—if you’re friends; chances are he WILL hunt you down first above all when sick; esp if he had to go in for work#//And he WILL need a little help and attention; any and all of it that can be spared#//Or at the very least suggestions to help with the Ick until they are free to help him more#//In my mind's eye; Nahida is his most sought out friend in such times#//He'd curl up in the Sanctuary of Surasthana and nap the day away the Instant he gets inside. Esp bc she’d never turn him away#//She’d be fucken ECSTATIC to have him there; even make him a nice little place to sleep & everything; dim the lights & not let ANYONE in#//Best of all; she can’t get sick (by regular means) so she’s p safe. He wouldn't be as worried abt her catching anything he'd got#//Would dote so much on him; he’s like a baby brother to her#//Everyone in the rescue squad is basically just as well family to her too#//But he’s her favorite#//dendro god’s specialest boi (after Wanderer; ofc)#//Shh; no one tell the others jdhfbf#hc; nahida#//Whoop there’s that too hebfb
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alligaytorswamp · 7 months
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Im kind of feeling like i can't take it anymore
#vent#bad sad sleep-deprived and mentally ill#i am currently crying myself to sleep just fucking sobbing because everything hurts#my brain is failing me my body us failing me#i dont know what to do with myself#so many things are happening so many things hurt and i have no body to talk to#i have never felt so utterly alone#i hate myself for even writing this because i feel so pathetic and as if im just whining for attention#because i probably am#some lame ass cry for help because i really don't know how to function at this point#truly i am just so fucking alone#and there is just so much that is happening and i cant share it with anyone so it just all stays in my stupid brain and#probably makes me more mentally ill or smth#and for however long all i do is keep myself from crying during the day bc i cant let my family catch me having mental breakdowns#yet i have all of these painful thoughts that are plaguing my mind all the fucking time#i am just so so tired#and i keep thinking about death and it's so fucking scary#i just wish i wasn't myself and i had a different brain i could be better than this because maybe then i would be fine#at home im in toxic hell#in online spaces i have no one actually close to me#in my brain i have horrible thoughts and hardcore daydreaming distactions that dont fix anything#in my course i think im not doing well enough and im scare dthat my the end of it im still going to be a useless unemployed moron#on my silly blog i think if i dont make content i have no value and ehatever i make is not even that good or interesting#so i better cover it up with quantity but i dont have time or ability to do so#which again makes me into a fucking Nothing#god my head hurts so much#that's what u get for wailing at 4 am#anyways i am doing horrible and i can't take it anymore truly reaching my fucking limit#all my fault tho so ☺#delete later and if someone actually reads it Um sorry for this i am hashtag unwell 😋💫
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jrueships · 10 months
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this is random but jdub looks like a lizard to me?? his eyes pop out of his big ass head just like one
YOU leave jdub and his Wendy Williams Steve urkel eyes ALONE!!!! sometimes they be popping and there ain't no stopping ! THATS THEIR BUSINESS!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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honeyed-disgraceful · 4 months
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If you use men's mental health only as a counter argument in a gender disparity debate then you don't give a shit about men's mental health
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
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hellpupp · 11 months
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Big Sad
#kicks dirt#idk how many times i can openly ask for what i need & just. not get it. before i've just gotta Stop bc it starts feeling pathetic#and potentially even bordering on emotionally manipulative.#debating the Morality of even tag-venting on my own blog bc i don't want anyone to assume this is targeted#i just feel Deeply Lonely and like i have absolutely nothing going on in my life except work#and just lowkey like.... Unseen.#sometimes i try So Fucking Hard to have a conversation with people only to have 100% of what i say completely ignored me#* in favor of a random meme.#it starts to fuck with you after a while! makes you feel Uninteresting and Foolish and Annoying#idk.#i mean i also ran out of my (Extremely Rough Withdrawal) SNRI last week so like. that isn't helping.#but it's more than that. i've been feeling like this for a while.#it just. really sucks when you move & have no irl friends. no energy to make any new ones.#and all of your long distance friends have A Lot of shit on their plates so you feel shitty and inconsiderate for even thinking of asking#for. well Anything really. let alone some of their extremely limited time & energy & attention.#like who tf am i to ask anyone#let alone people who are all Very busy and struggling w/ their own shit#for their undivided attention for a chunk of time they could be using to take care of themselves#i don't want to feel invisible anymore#but i also don't want to be a drain on the people i care about#i hate Needing things#i wish the depth of my love and devotion to the people i've chosen to care for was fulfilling enough on its own#so i'd never need to ask for things#having emotional needs is like. sooo gross & selfish of me tbh. :/' go the fuck to therapy holy shit u would Never say this abt Anyone else#anyway. watch me delete this in 5 seconds bc the need to be seen & the mortification of being Perceived can & do coexist#χ.txt
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harrowharkwife · 1 year
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#god i need to go back to therapy but i don't want to unless i can find a therapist#who is experienced in working with autistic adults#i just. ive accepted at this point that om not going to get anywhere#or get anything helpful#out of therapy until/unless i start acknowledging my autism in the process instead of trying to continue pretending it's not there#like. talk therapy just isn't going to be useful for me otherwise. I've hit the ceiling in terms of what progress i can make#without turning over that log#and i just. i really WANT therapy for my autism. not in a 'fix me' sense bc there's nothing wrong with me#i love my autism#but. it's getting to be really god damn fucking painful and embarrassing and heartbreaking feeling like i can't have a fucking conversation#i just. i want to work on my social skills. they didn't use to be this bad idk what happened! the pandemic probably tbh but ugh#i just. never know what to say or how to say it and it feels like im constantly fumbling and im never paying enough attention#to the other person bc im too busy just trying to fucking listen to them and process what they're saying and figure out what to say back#and i just get so nervous about communicating correctly that what comes out of my mouth doesn't match my thoughts at all#i barely even know what i'm saying half the time and that's. terrifying#but it's just so hard finding a therapist already let alone finding one whos a) experienced in evidence based and compassionate autism care#and b) normal and not an ableist freak about it
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pallases · 1 year
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the way that my affirmations rn are literally just “you only need to get a 40% to pass the class 💆🏼‍♀️”
#personal#the engineering chronicles#i am so so scared for it we did a practice final last week that was extremely suspiciously easy so i reached out to someone who took the#final today asking if his had aux views and/or tolerance stack analysis (neither of which were on mine) and he said yes and also that he ran#out of time to finish one of his drawings so. AAAAA#*on my practice final#the thing is i got comparatively great grades on both the assignments for those topics (100% and 90% respectively and the 90% was bc the#professor i went to for help in office hours told me to negate all my values when my original values were actually the correct ones smh) BUT#they were the most time consuming assignments of the semester and also both required hawk-eyed attention to detail that had me redoing and#editing so much to get the correct answers like i won’t have time for that on the final 😭😭 especially if they’re BOTH on it which is likely#the midterm was hell on earth and everyone basically failed it i don’t even want to think abt this…#i have just over an 87% rn so im under no illusions that i will be keeping my b+ let alone moving up to an a-. to end w a b i can get as low#as 74% on the final which is….possible. but im not banking on it.#to end w a b- i can get as low as a 64% which is what im hoping i can achieve wrdjfjf 😭#it’s only a 1 credit class so it’s not like it’s the end of the world or my gpa if i get that or even a c#lvl 100 1 credit engineering classes here are hellish idk why. you’re probably thinking leigh if you are struggling this much at that level#that may be a sign but no bc ive also taken/am taking multi credit and/or lvl 200 engineering classes and they are soo much better. at least#thus far#plus stats and calc are both multi level and above lvl 100 and they’re both fine i have developed a lot of respect for them actually even#a good amount of curiosity and enjoyment. it’s just the lvl 100 1 credit engineering classes what is up w them#*multi credit not multi level lol
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dutybcrne · 2 months
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The way a fucken TikTok with a Roger rabbit audio has my new fave ship with Itto being with fucken Chiori
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sfucked · 3 months
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once again pondering a different dx
#but what if im just copying ppl bc i still have no concept of whats wrong with me what then#I dont have anyone i can talk to without feeling guilty bc its not their job to figure me out right#people dont know how to help someone who barely exists so what could i possibly ask of them#but the online sources dont help like what if im making it all up#maybe they arent intrusive thoughts maybe they arent that debilitating i mean i got this far right#got this far somehow despite the guilt and the spirals#so do i really count#mental illness is real but it's social and ive figured out how to survive the game sorta so clearly im not sick and making it all up#just looking for attention bc im so terrible#or something#i want that to read as sarcastic and funny but i believe it too much#How Do I Stop Being Bad#I know it's not my fault the world is burning but i let my parents cut down that tree when i was 12#I havent given any homeless neighbors money recently how cruel am i in my warm car as i drive away#i should have given away my pets bc I cant afford a vet#that friend of a friend I met one time self harmed bc of me died bc of me#I should wish my friends well and leave them alone so I dont hurt them anymore#i havent been able to get to a protest so im clearly fine with current events#Evilterriblebadhypocriticalfreakishasshole#the funniest to me is ending up with moral obsessions as a lifelong atheist like how do i even counter it#why do i have these objective moral truths that only apply to myself#i judge others by their intentions and myself by my actions isnt that reversed for most folks#everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt except Me
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sukunas-wife · 4 months
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Being Sukuna’s Pregnant Wife and being worshipped as a diety because you were able to conceive the four armed hulking cursed child, you must have the blessing of fertility
Having a shrine erected in your name because barren women believed you’d bless them with fertility despite your legacy starting with the child of the curse that torments them all
Telling your hand maids “Don’t bring me my clothes, bring me one of the kings robes.” The hand maids flinching and wanting to protest out of fear of taking the King of Curses robes
The poor naive young hand maid that had grown a crush on the king excitedly rushing if it meant she could enter the private bed chambers,
Scoffing with a malicious smile to your loyal maids when they shook their heads with Sympathy, they learned long before at such a request it would be foolish to go alone, at least 2 or 3 of them would need to go in your name, preferably the ones your husband recognized to be by your side the longest. But you didn’t like this new girl, she was too enthusiastic to work at the palace only to have a complete change in character when she learned she was assigned to work for you
“It’ll serve that poor girl right” you looked away from the door when your loyal hand maids brought out a wooden box with one of Sukuna’s folded Kimono’s they helped you dress your swollen belly accentuated by the belt the kimono tailored to fit your husband left you with extra space and length, it was far more comfortable then the Kimono’s and robes you were, the lingering smell of your husband with comforting as your rubbed your belly hands barely peeking from the massive sleeves
“Let’s go see my husband.” Was all you said as you started your walk, the maids followed close as you made it to the bed chambers, the door was open, you looked in, Sukuna sneering down at the girl laying in a pool of blood, Uraume was making quick work of the mess
Sukuna’s snapped to you and his arm’s opening in an unusual display of affection, you walked around the mess to reach him, he pulled you into his left side, one hand on your waist the other making you face him, bring his right hand up he rested his hand on your stomach “Some of your maids need a lesson on how to speak to their king,” he looked away from your face to your stomach as he started to move his hands in circles “So swollen with my child, it’s no wonder you send your maids to steal my robes.”
You smack his shoulder with a playful smile and he chuckled “Don’t say it like that you make me feel bigger than i am.”
“Now,” he looked up at your face again, “why are you here.”
You tilted your head to the side, “I started contractions this morning, I’ve been in pain all day and I’m barely standing, my new maid wouldn’t stop speaking so highly of my husband accomplishing having a child when I was at my worst pain level getting ready to push out YOUR child that I HAD to carry. Anyhow I came to get you because he is ready to come.”
Sukuna stared down at you confused “How do you know it’s a boy?”
“I’m his mother,” he watched as you placed your hand over his stilling his rubbing of your stomach, “I knew he was a boy from the day your seed took.”
Sukuna smirked “Is that so? Then let’s see this boy.”
🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤
After an hour of fighting the doctor tending to your birth you gave birth to your lively son, born screaming without needing stimulation to cry form the doctor. Your husband couldn’t help but laugh when he saw his child in his full glory, he was a boy indeed.
The help immediately gave you your son and you cooed at him when he took to your breast, your husband taking blankets from the maids and covered your son also covering you in the process as you struggled a bit to pass what came next. Your son a spitting image of his father, your breathy laugh caught Sukuna’s attention as he came back to your bed side stroking your hair and rubbing your stomach the way the help had been doing.
“What amuses you?” He watched his son slowly close his eyes as you coddled him closer.
“I’m the one who had to carry him for so long, and the ingrate took nothing from me.” You smiled and shook your head before looking up at Sukuna.
Soon the doctor left after clearing you of any possible issues and checking your son. “His name?” You looked at Sukuna and he sighed “Yuji”
The look of adoration in your eyes was something Sukuna would’ve wanted to capture forever if he could express the sentiment. However for now he’d settle for memorizing every detail of today. His wife birthing his first heir, the name she had chosen he permitted.
Maybe just maybe this world wasn’t so bad
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arolesbianism · 7 months
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Most of the sekai cast are like completely irrelevant to the main plots of the random card au but that doesn't stop me from thinking abt them from time to time. An Kohane and Haruka are more historical figures which ofc means tragedy but also they r kinda silly to me. Goat and boar so caught up in their echo chamber that they forgot how to actually hide it well in front of a normal person (Kohane)
#rat rambles#random card au#sekai posting#they loved to play wrestle and did basically everything together for years and dont ask what happened after that dw abt it haha ha ha#oh for context an is a star guy and haruka was one of the post dark god death dark vessels#neither actually knew that abt eachother until haruka found out too late#kohane didnt do anything bad btw she just stood there while everything fell apart basically#long story short there were some rumors abt a mysterious beast that might be a remnant of the dark god#and some of kohane's neighbors reported their suspicions of her and those suspicions began to escelate#leaving haruka and an to be assigned as her body guards and to also investigate the matters while they were there#now ofc both heard these rumors and went oh shit. uh oh. because both had had their own incidents in the area#the three basically played fake detective for a while where all 3 knew more than they let on but didnt tell the others#as time went on though an and haruka started getting more paranoid as the situation started reaching more wider public attention#this all was a very slow burn and it ultimately culminates in kohane walking in on an in her true form causing her to freak out and#run off leading to kohane freaking out and trying to get haruka's help leading to him freaking out and slipping into his true form which he#was witnessed in and ultimately aprehended#an would end up getting lost in the void place haruka killed and kohane left alone with a shitload of guilt#none of them come up in the main story in any meaningful way but I like to imagine misaki and an were friends for a while in the void place#before an started rapidly deteriorating because of worldbuilding shit rip#shes still technically alive but like. only technically.#but hey kohane would proceed to help shizuku and shiho with some other stuff thats world building relevant#hey ako even eventually reads smth she wrote#meanwhile mizuki is just making dolls and minori is delivering mail lucky bastards#theyre even both still alive! but they do live in the same town as akito still so how ok are they rly /j#theres a few others who have it pretty good too saki and ichika are still hanging out they even still make music#touya and nene are also both alive still but they. dont have it super great.#they do get to be slightly more relevant than most of the others tho even if they only appear in a side plot#hey doing better than honami shes part of the canonically doesnt exist anymore crew alongside yuri and original tae#poor girlie only exists to be a camera for ghost worldbuilding#kanade is the ghost btw shes still technically around but barely
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