#author is dyslexic

[shikariiin]

Valentine's break

A Short TTTE fanfiction - Valentine Special

They haven't dated in this timeline :3, I rarely write, so excuse my rookie mistakes.

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Edward puffed his cigarette, the night wind gently blowing on his hair as the stars above him shined.

The usual valentine's night for the K2.

As he took a long drag, memories flooded back: past loves, and heartaches. He stared off to the distance, aiming fault to himself for everything that had happened, guilt slowly creeping up, his mind going numb.

Valentine's Day was not his favorite, though he'd never openly admit it.

Abruptly, his thoughts were disrupted as a red coat cascaded down upon him, enveloping him in its warmth and vibrant hue. He looked up to a familiar face.

"Mind if I join?" James spoke softly, Edward blinked slowly almost dumbfounded "ah...sure?" he finally answered.

The red man sat beside him, drinking his water bottle "wasn't expecting to find you here" James leaned back, relaxing into the grass.

"Wasn't expecting anyone to find me" Edward smiled, feeling amused, "cigarette?" He handed the half-empty box, "good god no" James immediately refused, as stressful as he gets, he would never smoke nor drink, he wasn't raised that way.

Edward only smiled before looking away, James took notice of his demeanor, "you're not going out? It's valentine's day" he asked the K2.

Edward says as he exhales smoke, "I....I've had enough of Valentine's," an answer James wasn't expecting. "Why's that?" James asks, intrigued nonetheless. Edward sighed, his gaze drifting to the distant horizon.

The weight of past disappointments heavy on his heart. "Every Valentine's Day just reminds me of what I've lost," he confesses, his voice tinged with regret. James nods understandingly, silently acknowledging the pain concealed behind Edward's tough exterior.

"what if someone asked you out? Would you go?" James asked again, his eyes not moving away from the blue haired man.

"goodness they deserved better!" Edward sheepishly laugh "I don't expect anyone to ask me out, get a better standard I'd say"

his smile subsided before looking down to his knees "Love hurts" He inhaled deeply from his cigarette.

James looked at him, having been hurt from hearing the K2 talk about himself like that, "I think you're exceptional," James murmured softly, his gaze drifting upward to the somber sky above.

"You've made alot of impact on this railway, supporting countless engines," James remarked, taking a sip from his water bottle. "you're worth a-lot more than you give yourself credit for" he smiled.

Edward glanced at him, a spark of joy igniting within him, and he couldn't help but return the smile, though a blush colored his cheeks.

"Why aren't you going out for valentine?" Edward asked back, his mood eased as he lay down next to James.

"I have high standards!" James answered vainly, he smiled proudly at himself, Earning a laugh from the K2, his endearing laugh was not of ridicule, but of amusement.

James joined in,The atmosphere shifted, filled with warmth and tenderness as both decided to spend the rest of the night together, neither wanting to leave.

"Happy valentines day, Edward"

"Happy valentines day, James"

Maybe one day they'll actually celebrate valentine together.

[edvinssmedvin]

Choking part 6

Read more here: 1 2 3 4 5

Summary: Steve was hanging on by a thread, and it finally breaks. Switches between Eddies and Steve’s POV

CW: Panic attacks, Spiraling, Flashback-ish, mentions of throwing up, gagging, Just kinda sad overall

Eddie walked down to the hotel parking lot, cursing himself as he patted his pockets once more to confirm,

yup, he had forgotten his keys.

The only key he had on him was their hotel room key and all the kids were waiting in the car to go out and explore the city.

He had left Steve a note and hoped he’d be up for when they got back so they could get ready for the show.

But he was so focused on getting them out that he forgot what he needed to start the car with!

Probably a bad decision but he left Max in charge and headed back the way he came.

He had to walk back up the parking lot stairs and to the elevator.

And god he needs to work out more because walking up back up there is a feat.

AND—He had to lean on the elevator wall while he waited for it to reach his floor because he needed to take a couple of deep breaths to calm down after such an exercise. Jesus Christ.

It's a wonder he is still alive after the upside down. Granted, he did almost die but he technically made that choice himself. Keyword: Almost.

He had walked up to the hotel room door and when he had unlocked it and swung the door open, something felt off.

He brushed it off, thinking it was fine. But as he headed into the room, at the corner of his eye he noticed something in the bathroom.

He turned around, everything in slow motion as he zeroed in on Steve curled up on the ground. Like a movie, everything felt magnified. He felt aware of everything in the room, from the small drip in the bathroom faucet to the loud buzzing of the fan in the next room.

Eddie stood in the doorway of the bathroom, frozen. When he walked into the all-too-quiet room, Eddie figured that Steve was asleep. But guilt worked its way up Eddie's throat. He had been so focused on getting things his way and being petty, he didn't notice Steve struggling until he was on the floor with shaking sobs.

At this point, he knew apologies wouldn't do much but he couldn't help the words spilling out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Eddie whispered to Steve as he ran into the bathroom. He crouched next to him, his hands still hovering, unknowing of what to do.

Eddie shielded his view from everything but himself. He opened his mouth to say something, anything to convince him it'll be okay but closed it back up, for once in his life he had no words.

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting to find when looked in the bathroom but finding Steve in the middle of a panic attack was definitely not it. Steve looked terrified, his face still hidden in his knees and shaking with sobs.

He put his hand on Steve’s shoulder and he looked up for a quick sec but his sobs only came out more frantic so Eddie quickly moved his hand away.

Eddie cursed, mentally facepalming himself for not inviting Robin, Steve's other half. Someone who actually knew what to do.

“Steve?” Eddie said carefully, trying to get a reaction and mostly not sure of what to do. “Steve, please look at me.” He said again, trying to sound stern but coming out desperate.

Steve didn't indicate to Eddie that he heard him and so Eddie got down from his crouched position on the floor like a frog and knelt on his knees, knowing they'd probably fall asleep for sitting too long with how slow this was going so far.

Steve could hear Eddie trying to talk to him but he didn't have the energy to answer, every movement felt like more bricks laid on top of him. “Steve, please look at me.” He heard Eddie almost pleading, trying to get his attention but he felt safer in the position he was in. He knew he was hyperventilating but he wondered if he did ever calm down, how would the other shoe drop?

So he stayed silent, hoping his boyfriend would leave so he wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment that is his emotions.

His heart was pounding in his chest. The last thing he needed was for Eddie to see how broken he is, to deem that he was bullshit.

His facade was already cracking and soon everyone will see how much of a liar he was, a manipulator.

He pretended to be happy for others but tricked Eddie into being happy with him when he was far from it. “Steve, I need you to look at me,” Eddie pleaded once more but Steve doesn’t dare to look up to him. Doesn’t dare to show himself.

“everything’s okay!” Eddie tried to explain and though he didn’t raise his voice or yell but it was said with just enough force to scare him.

Steve tried to hold back but he flinched at the assertive voice, his breaths more uneven than the last.

Black spots once again seeped into the already limited vision he had where his forehead rested on his knees, tears smearing everywhere on his fancy pj pants.

But Steve didn’t look up just yet. He knew he was on the fast track to passing out but he was taking a chance. He reasoned that if he did pass out at least he didn't have to confront what was going on, and ultimately didn't have to talk about what was happening.

He felt a hand on his knee and it sent him jumping, flinching so hard as if he had been hit. He waited for the pain to follow, he assumed Eddie was going to hurt him but no punches were thrown.

That confused him, the light touch not expected. His body prepared for pain.

The difference between reality and his memories were hard to find. Everything all at once was flowing through his mind, he thought he had calmed down a bit but when Eddie had touched him, it had worked him back up. Forcing more tears out of the surface.

The past and present synced together and he could no longer remember where he was, The byers? Starcourt? The upside down? Steve didn't know but he felt stuck, utterly useless to the damage that could be done.

He knew Eddie was in front of him, still trying to get his attention. It was like his ears were filled with cotton, blood rushing through his them and his heart pounding.

The world was still tilting around him, if he had dared to get out of the safety bubble he was in he’d most likely going throw up.

But he took his chances, he looked up from where his head was resting, to see Eddie staring back at him.

As expected, the adrenaline rush making him gag, he quickly snapped his mouth shut, grinding his teeth against each other and tensing to prevent himself from becoming sick.

Embarrassed, there was a tense silence where Steve couldn’t hear anything but himself and his sobs slowing down at a record-timing snail's pace.

Steve was dying to know what would happen, what Eddie would say but he also didn’t want to find out in case he didn’t like the answer.

Steve thought to himself. He’s going to break up with me. He hoped he was just working himself up and that Eddie wouldn’t.

But he could, and nothing is stopping him. Steve realized.

He ignored his thoughts and watched as Eddie moved first, through tears and snot he could see him move his other hand that was not on his knee out to him, Eddie slowly took his hand and held Steves, moving it to his chest.

Steve's head felt full of cotton, disgusting. His nose was stuffy and his eyes were almost sore, red, and hot from tears, some still falling. He shook his head “I’m sorry,” His muffled voice was strained, hurting. It felt like he was choking on nothing but air as he repeated once more to Eddie– “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“For what?” Eddie asked and Steve honestly didn’t know. he just squinted instead of answering, his eyes still burning but curious to see what he was doing.

Eddie kept his hand on his chest and Steve didn't even realize he was unconsciously following the others' breath until just now, the rise and fall of his chest slowing down as did his sobbing.

“Steve, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

With Eddie looking at him with such sorrow in his eye he couldn’t help but try and reach out, “please-” just like a switch he cut himself off, crying heavily again, his shoulders wracked with more sobs. The tears nonstop on and off again.

Eddie looked at him in concern. He kept his hand on Steve's knee and the other on his chest.

Looking to the ceiling, Eddie cursed whatever higher power gave him such bad luck. Eddie didn't want to rush Steve, but he doesn't see any stopping point in the near future and he needs to get the kids back upstairs, he was supposed to be watching them. He’d most likely be dead if he didn’t get the kids home in one piece, either by the parents or Steve.

Trying to choose his battle, he reasoned that he could grab the kids and make it back to Steve fast if he ran, thinking it’s probably not a good choice to leave Steve by himself but he can’t leave the kids either.

Eddie assumes their worried and hopes they don’t get themselves in to much trouble.

“Steve, you don't have to answer but I'll be right back.”—Steve nods weakly and that just breaks Eddie’s heart more—“I promise.”

Eddie sat up, unsteady, almost as graceful as a baby deer. Just like he assumed, his legs fell asleep from the position he was in.

Slowly but surely he got blood rushing back to his legs where the circulation was cut off and when he did, even after complaining about exercising, he ran faster then ever before.

Steve felt defeated, as he watched Eddie run out of the room.

Every part of the walls he built up came crashing down. A simple note somehow left him oh so very empty.

Everything that made him ‘Steve’ was gone. He no longer had the energy to act.

The perfectly created mask everyone loved was gone and Eddie would most likely leave too, after what he just witnessed he’s probably not coming back.

Part of him doesn’t want him to come back, knowing if he does, they'll have to talk about what was happening and that fucking terrifies him.

He was never taught to speak his emotions, his parents more of a ‘be seen not heard’ kinda people. And one thing he learned from hushed whispers behind cracked doors from them is:

Never let them know what you feel.

He knows they’ll turn on him if they figure out how weak he really is. Any feelings he voices will be mocked, a thing to make people laugh. A horrible punchline.

Authors note: sorry for the delay!! I hope I didn’t disappoint, I’ve been editing this for like the past hour and I’m still not so sure how I feel about it so if u have any comments, edits or suggestions feel free to let me know!

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[charlieisverysane]

uuuhhh i forgot to post this uhm

IT WAS RUSHED

[themostineptthateverstepped]

Something I really love about the whole Steddie fandom is how so many fics feature an autistic or ADHD Eddie, or a dyslexic, HoH or migraine prone Steve, or a Steve that needs glasses.

It feels really good to have these characters learning how to support each other and becoming safe spaces, while also being some of the only content I've found that just casually includes so many of my own experiences.

[spookiedmango]

The second installment of the dyslexic friendly book series that I am working on with the ever talented Sue Marasciulo is out now! Can Ten Pigs Fit in a Tub? is available on Amazon!

Here is the link if anyone wants to check it out and get it for any beginning readers or children with dyslexia in your life that you know!

[nopoodles]

Had an argument with my wife (argument is a strong word) while reading Dracula Daily because I pointed out the Bram Stoker uses an apostrophe-s after names that end in S (Morris's) but she insisted I edit out all my apostrophe-s on names ending in S in Merry Arlan: Breaking The Curse (eg Larrings) to just be an apostrophe.

When I pointed this out with words along the lines of "why can Bram Stoker do this and you made me not do it!?"

She said, "because Bram Stoker is wrong."

The boldness. The certainty. (Also everyone else also said edit out Larrings's and replace it with Larrings' so, like, not just my wife.)

[snixx]

how was the queer literary fest? :D

kinda mid tbh lol. but i did make a couple of friends and listened to this tv show director and the judge + lawyer who was at the head of the fight to get same sex marriage legalized talk and I'll be seeing kalki koechlin talk in an hour:) also ate an overpriced cheesecake for 120 rupees and also kurkure lol. the commute was fun though I walked all over the city while going from metro to metro and i fucking love walking (and got accosted by these christian missionaries who wanted to introduce me to the Magic of the Bible hdhjghghjh)

[wilsonpussyindulgence]

sometimes i see someone online say “sorry i have adhd, can someone explain to me what any of this means” and i have to stop myself from responding with “that doesn’t have to do with adhd maybe you’re just stupid”

[scarlettshazam]

You can wear anything to prom, actually ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pre-order the ebook of Train Track Princes here:

The print version is in the works! It’s formatted and designed, and I’m in the process of getting proofs to make sure that it prints correctly. After that, it’ll be available too!

[edvinssmedvin]

Choking Part 2

Read part 1 here

Summary: Eddie ignores Steve’s hesitancy. Starts off as Eddie’s POV and switches to Steve’s

CW: Angry Eddie, forcing oneself to talk while nonverbal, Silent treatment, intrusive thoughts including suicide.

Eddie didn’t understand, he had taken weeks to plan the trip.

He was even going to surprise Steve by taking him to see some basketball team he liked the next day after the concert.

But no, Steve couldn’t even suck it up by doing something Eddie likes. What kind of shitty boyfriend is he? Eddie was just asking him to do one thing he liked.

He doesn’t care what Steve says, they are going. He worked too hard for this to work for Steve just because he ‘doesn’t want to go’

So while Steve sleeps, he grabs a duffel bag hidden in his boyfriend's closet. Shuffling quietly around the room, careful to not make the slightest amount of noise.

Quiet as a mouse, he ruffles through Steve’s dresser, packing his essentials in his bag. Mentally checking off items in his brain, he’s about to grab a t-shirt to pack but when he lifts it-

He stops short when he finds letters hidden under one of the shirts.

It takes a lot of self-control not to look through them, reminding himself that if Steve doesn’t tell him what it is, he has to respect that.

He places the letters back and places the t-shirts back over it neatly and ignores the worry in his gut.

Steve wakes up with the same numbness in his stomach, his alarm going off way too early for him having the day off of work.

He rubs his eyes, shuffling just close enough to the edge of the bed to shut his alarm off when Eddie comes bustling into the room. he assumes Eddie had stayed the night, too tired to head to the trailer.

When his eyes scan over Eddie, he notices a bag in one of his ring-covered hands and and a poptart in the other.

“C'mon Steve! We have to go get the little shrimps, Indy waits for no man!” He shouts excitedly, causing Steve to wince at the sheer volume so early morning.

He opens and closes his mouth, once again trying to figure out how to get the words out. Hoping they don’t choke him-

“Eddie..” he wishes he could say more than that but his mind betrays him because all he can feel is it choking him.

Eddie places the stuff in his hand on the desk in Steve room, walking towards the bed.

His excited demeanor shifts, unreadable expressions on him, something Steve hasn’t seen before. “No buts Steve!” He exclaims once more.

Eddie goes on, “We promised the shrimps we’d take them and I spent too much money on this to back out because you don’t feel like it.” Eddie walks towards the bed and grabs Steve by the hands, forcing him into a standing position like he was moving a rag doll up.

“Get dressed Steve.”

And with that, Eddie turns around walks out of the room, grabbing his stuff off the desk on the way out.

And oh.

Eddie sounds mad, fuck.

He didn’t mean to make Eddie mad, he just feels so exhausted. He has to make it up to him, he can’t have Eddie hate him over it. He’s learned over the years, just small things can change everything.

He remembers when he was 10 and repeatedly asking his mom to take him to the park to see his friends the next day. She said she’d think about it but when the day came around, she snapped. All he can remember is tears flooding his eyes, blurring the world around him as she yelled. Her often quiet voice turned sickeningly aggressive.

He can’t remember much before that age but It was that day that his mom changed, one mistake and she was gone. leaving him with the nanny.

So he rushes to get ready, running to the bathroom so fast he almost slips on his socks. He brushes his teeth and pushes his hair up into something of a greasy flop on his head.

“Hurry, Steve!” He hears Eddie yell.

And he only goes faster, rushing back to the bedroom to get his clothes on. Running around as if his life depended on it.

When putting his shoes on, he wonders why his jeans feel weird and he realizes he put them on backward.

So then he has to take his shoes off and flip them around, succeeding only in wasting more time. Fuck.

He grabs his wallet, his keys, and his phone off of his nightstand, hoping Eddie has else everything he needs.

Somehow he made it out before Eddie.

So he hops in the driver's seat and waits for Eddie to make his way down to the parking lot, he nervously pops his knuckles hoping to relieve his fast-beating heart.

Butterflies make their way into his stomach, not the ‘I’m in love’ butterflies but butterflies full of dread. They swish and make his stomach tumble, they make his heart race and his head light but it’s nothing like floating in clouds, nothing like love. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Opening his eyes, he pushes his hair out of his face, the gentle touch makes the butterflies calm down only slightly.

He sees Eddie walking toward the car and he slips the key into the ignition and buckles his seatbelt.

He takes the chance to change the radio to a calming station, something quiet.

Eddie opens the door and hops in, slamming the door harshly afterward. He takes another deep breath.

He looks over at Eddie and the metalhead just looks the other way. Away from Steve.

He breaths in and out, reminding himself it’s not gonna choke him. He asks “Can you put your seatbelt on?” He asks quietly as possible, hoping to not feel the vibration of his voice.

he gains an eye roll from Eddie but he still puts his seatbelt on so he counts it as a win.

As he pulls out of the apartment parking lot, at the corner of his eye he can see eddies hand peaking out and changing the radio. He switches the calming station that he had picked out to something loud, not metal but something so loud he knows it would bother Steve.

And not only does the metalhead change it, but he also turns up the volume so loud you could hear the way the speaker grated with the music, like nails on a chalkboard. Steve psychically winces but doesn’t turn the music off.

Too afraid of Eddie’s reaction.

He’s about one mile away from the first kid's house, Dustin’s. He’s just passing Lilly Drive, where the trees tower over the road.

He wonders what would happen if he just took his hand off the wheel…

Would he crash into a tree? Will the glass from the windshield cut him? How much blood would there be? Would his brain-

“Steve? eyes on the road!” Eddie snaps him out of his thoughts, his eyes widen as he swerves along the road.

He takes control of the wheel and forcing the car to stop.

“Jesus Christ” Eddie mutters

He breathes heavily. He can’t believe he almost did that, he wasn’t even thinking. It was like he was moving on autopilot, unable to think and drive at the same time.

He turns to look at Eddie in the passenger. He wants to make sure he is okay but when his boyfriend meets his eye-

“Steve, park the car. I’m driving” and oh no, Eddie looks madder. He didn’t even realize that was possible.

He rushes to force out the words. It’s not choking him, he berates himself. “I’m okay, I can drive.” He doesn’t even know if he believes it.

He hears the seatbelt undo beside him—“I’m driving, Jesus Christ. Your just trying to ruin everything.”—and the passenger door slams.

Steve scrubs a hand over his face. Fuckk

Next part —>

Authors note:

I was bored and so I designed Steves apartment. so if u want to imagine what I think it looks like—

Also! If you have any question, comments or ideas please let me know! I’m kinda just having fun, I have a plot set up of how the story is gonna go but if u have any ideas id love to add them.

[mossywizard]

Last bit started cuz I finished my first book of Canaanite myths and now moving to Mesopotamia…. And then I need to get more resources that are more up to date? Or decide how badly I want to know if these are good translations… and maybe learn Akkadian…but I don’t know other practical languages yet I’m a silly American

[shownusfool]

will trent is a good show not in that the actual show itself is good but in the fact that the show gives me enough information to make me interested in the book to find a few copies bc im immensely invested in the characters

[inkdemon-whore]

slight update on where i'm active atm

[mxwhore]

i love my best friend. he never makes fun of me for "eating" words or for misspelling homophonic words (just earlier i wrote piece when i wanted to write peace)

[nopoodles]

Dyslexic Typo Of The Day

Mistyped "errr" ended up with "weeee"

That's not the plan