#automatic copy maker machine

[villainessbian]

It has to be stated as a defiant position because despite there being "no need to inflict that boredom on other people - other artists," the boredom of a few re: actually doing art or respecting others' work was and still is inflicted on everyone through AI.

And for clarification:

"People who think the lack of autonomy is an interesting artistic statement"? Not when making art they don't. The statement can be about a lack of of autonomy, or about making things themselves despite constraints (which is how most forms of poetry function). Not having autonomy and not making something in the first place is not a statement, it's a lack of statement. Silence isn't speech. Definitionally.

"People who are physically disabled in a way that prevents them from engaging with 'traditional' art" is very exactly no one who would artistically benefit from the plagiarism machine. Watching, hearing, smelling, touching, reading, existing in, just knowing any piece of art in any shape or form is engaging with it. If they can't do that with the rest they can't do it with dall-e. You mean people who physically can't create things but somehow are still able to communicate something to the machine.

And to that:

The robot isn't making them able, it's literally a third party copying people who were able.

It's less involved than ordering at a subway, which doesn't make you a "sandwich maker" even if you decided what to put in it. Just another customer. The process is still handled by someone else, your options are still limited by outside forces, and you still only asked for the ingredients.

It all relies on the assumption that the skills displayed are irrelevant to the end product - that a flawless monochrome is equal in value to a click with the paint bucket tool, since they're the same production. There's a reason why art is considered a creative process, not an end result.

Ultimately, this line of thought about "making art accessible" is about the supposed tragedy of someone having a vision without the skills to realise it. But that was always a solved issue. If you can develop these skills, develop them. If you can't or don't want to, commission someone. They're the only ways for you to actually be involved in the creation. Tweaking a machine until it's "yeah, close enough" isn't involvement. It's boredom. It's not caring about what is there. And for some reason that only applies to a few types of art, hm? If I tweak an android to run faster than Usain Bolt it doesn't make me an athlete. If I input a recipe setting in my Thermomix it doesn't make me a competent cook. Installing an autopilot doesn't make me a great pilot. And with my body I can't be any of these things.... and they're all damn closer to accessibility than midjourney is. You want to know what disabled people need? If I need something fetched - e.g. at the pharmacy - and my joint issues prevent me, then a small, fast robot that knows the way would be great. My eyes aren't good enough to visually check for a number of important things in the kitchen and my brain doesn't process time normally, so an automatic timer for cooking times with things that are already checked everywhere saves me a lot of time and food and health issues. Not a single time have I needed openai to make something. If I draw something, maybe my poor vision shows and I get the colours wrong. I don't have a robot colour-pick for me from the top 10 reposted painters online. It looks the same to me but not to you, and that's a much stronger statement about lack of autonomy than you not seeing it or me not making it. If I write it'll be my author's voice, not predictive text with a non-confrontational, PC-according-to-Silicon-Valley-execs tone. If I decide to try composing it will never be "an epic tune in the style of <insert currently-viral group>". And that's the difference between inspiration and botting.

As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.

[techiegigs]

What Is Google Ads and How Does It Work? [2025 Guide]

If you've ever searched for something on Google and noticed the top results labeled “Ad,” you've already seen Google Ads in action. As we move through 2025, this powerful advertising platform continues to be one of the most effective tools for businesses to reach potential customers at the right time and place.

In this guide, we’ll break down what Google Ads is, how it works, and how you can use it to grow your business.

What Is Google Ads?

Google Ads (formerly known as Google AdWords) is Google’s online advertising platform where advertisers bid to display brief ads, service offerings, product listings, or videos to web users.

It works across:

Google Search

YouTube

Gmail

Google Display Network (millions of websites & apps)

Google Ads runs on a pay-per-click (PPC) model, which means you only pay when someone clicks on your ad.

How Does Google Ads Work?

Google Ads operates based on an auction system that takes place every time someone enters a search query. Here’s how it works step by step:

1. Choose Your Campaign Type

Google Ads offers multiple campaign types based on your goals:

Search Ads: Text ads on Google Search

Display Ads: Visual ads across websites

Video Ads: Ads on YouTube

Shopping Ads: Product-based ads for eCommerce

Performance Max: A fully automated campaign across all Google networks

App Campaigns: Promote mobile apps on Google Play, YouTube, and more

2. Select Your Keywords

You’ll choose keywords relevant to your product or service—what your target audience is likely to search.

3. Enter the Auction

When a user searches for a keyword, Google enters your ad into an auction alongside others bidding on the same keyword.

4. Determine Ad Rank

Google decides which ads show up based on:

Bid amount

Ad quality score

Expected impact of extensions and formats

The better your ad quality, the less you might pay for higher placement.

5. Pay Only for Results

You’ll be charged when someone:

Clicks your ad (Search & Display)

Views your video (YouTube)

Takes a specified action (like installing an app)

Key Features of Google Ads in 2025

Smart Bidding

AI-powered bidding strategies optimize your campaigns for conversions, ROAS (return on ad spend), or impression share.

Performance Max Campaigns

An all-in-one campaign that uses machine learning to find the best customers across all Google channels.

Enhanced Audience Targeting

Target users based on:

Search intent

Interests and behaviors

Custom segments (e.g., people who visited your site)

Responsive Ads

Create flexible ads that automatically adjust headlines, descriptions, and images to deliver the best results.

Who Should Use Google Ads?

Google Ads is great for:

eCommerce stores looking to drive product sales

Local businesses aiming to attract nearby customers

Service providers generating high-intent leads

B2B companies targeting decision-makers

App developers increasing downloads

Whether you're a startup or a large enterprise, Google Ads can scale with your goals and budget.

Why Google Ads Works

✦ Reach People With Intent

Unlike social media, users on Google are actively searching for something—making them more likely to convert.

✦ Fast Results

Once your campaign is approved, your ads can start showing within minutes.

✦ Measurable ROI

Track every click, impression, and conversion through Google Ads and Google Analytics.

Getting Started With Google Ads in 2025

Here’s a quick roadmap to launch your first campaign:

Create a Google Ads account at ads.google.com

Choose your goal: sales, leads, traffic, etc.

Select the campaign type (Search, Display, etc.)

Define your audience and budget

Write your ad copy and choose visuals (if needed)

Set keywords and bidding strategy

Launch, test, and optimize!

Pro Tips for Success in 2025

Focus on high-intent keywords with strong commercial value

Use ad extensions (callouts, sitelinks, phone numbers) to improve CTR

Monitor and tweak your campaigns weekly

A/B test ad variations and landing pages

Track conversions with Google Tag Manager or GA4

Final Thoughts

Google Ads remains one of the most effective and measurable ways to advertise online in 2025. Whether you're launching a new product, generating leads, or boosting brand visibility, it offers unmatched reach and targeting capabilities.

But remember, success doesn’t come from just running ads—it comes from smart strategy, ongoing optimization, and understanding your audience.

[viewsdigitalmarketing]

Smart Messaging: How AI Is Transforming Email Marketing in B2B Digital Strategies

Email remains one of the most potent and personal communication channels for decision-makers. However, the expectations for email performance have grown. It's not enough to send bulk messages, and I hope they land well. Businesses today demand precision, relevance, and measurable outcomes—that's exactly where artificial intelligence is making a significant impact.

Incorporating AI into email marketing isn't just a trend—it's becoming a must-have component of a successful B2B digital marketing strategy. With the right tools and approach, AI helps businesses send smarter, more personalized, and more effective messages at scale.

Smarter Segmentation and Targeting

AI algorithms can analyze large volumes of data to detect patterns in customer behavior, interests, and engagement levels. Instead of manually segmenting email lists based on guesswork, marketers can use AI to build dynamic segments that automatically update based on real-time behaviors.

This ensures your emails reach the right person with the right message at precisely the right time, increasing the likelihood of contact engagement and conversion.

Personalized Content That Resonates

In B2B, relationships are everything. AI can help create those personalized moments that feel like one-to-one communication, even if you're emailing thousands of contacts.

From dynamic subject lines to customized product recommendations and tailored calls-to-action, AI tools allow marketers to craft content that adapts to each reader. This level of personalization not only improves open and click-through rates but also builds trust with prospects over time.

Predicting Engagement and Sending at the Best Time

Timing can make or break an email campaign. What if you knew the best time of day to send an email to each contact? AI can do that. Based on data and machine learning, AI tools can predict when recipients are likely to open an email and automatically schedule delivery accordingly.

This predictive technology goes beyond basic time zones and taps into user habits to help you get more eyes on your message, without any manual effort.

Optimizing Subject Lines and Copy with Natural Language Processing

AI-powered tools now offer real-time suggestions for subject lines and body copy. By analyzing big data points from previous campaigns, AI can predict what wording will likely drive the most engagement. These minor but crucial adjustments can significantly improve open rates and responses, especially in crowded inboxes.

Improved Analytics and Learning Loops

One of the most underrated benefits of using AI in email marketing is continuous learning. Every campaign provides more data. AI doesn't just track opens and clicks—it looks at how each element of your email performs and recommends improvements based on measurable insights.

Over time, your strategy becomes smarter, more efficient, and more aligned with what your B2B audience wants.

AI-powered email marketing doesn't exist in a vacuum. It integrates smoothly into your overall B2B digital marketing strategy, aligning with your CRM, content strategy, and sales funnel. By automating the email portion, your marketing team can focus more on strategy, creative thinking, and high-level decision-making, while letting the AI handle the data-heavy lifting.

As competition grows and inboxes get more crowded, embracing AI in your email marketing isn't just about innovation—it's about staying relevant. For B2B marketers who want to deliver more value, drive more leads, and build better relationships, AI is the partner that works 24/7 to make every email count.

[industryforecastnews]

Nugget Ice Machine Market To Reach USD 416.84 Million By 2030

 Nugget Ice Machine Market Growth & Trends

The global nugget ice machine market size is anticipated to reach USD 416.84 million by 2030, exhibiting a CAGR of 5.2% during the forecast period of 2024 to 2030, according to a new report by Grand View Research, Inc. This growth is driven by increasing consumer demand for convenient and portable ice-making solutions across both residential and commercial sectors. Nugget ice, known for its chewable texture and flavor retention properties, continues to gain popularity, fueling market growth of nugget ice makers.

Countertop nugget ice machines are largely preferred across food service and hospitality sectors. These compact and efficient models appeal to modern consumers seeking versatile appliances that enhance convenience. Companies like GE Profile have introduced advanced models such as the Opal 2.0 Ultra, featuring smart technologies like Wi-Fi connectivity and voice control, catering to the growing demand for seamless integration into smart kitchens.

Nugget ice machines play a crucial role in enhancing beverage quality and customer satisfaction in bars, restaurants, and other hospitality establishments. Innovations from key players like Scotsman Ice Systems and Manitowoc Ice continue to advance the designs with improved energy efficiency and sanitation technologies.

Technological advancements in the nugget ice maker market, driven by innovations like smart app control and voice integration with Alexa and Google Assistant, are transforming user experiences. Ecozy, an appliance company’s, introduction of the World's First Compact Smart Nugget Ice Maker on Amazon in May 2024 featured that the machine can produce up to 35 lbs of daily ice. It offers advanced functionalities such as scheduling, remote control, and automatic cleaning via the EcozyHome app or voice commands, catering to both residential and commercial users seeking enhanced convenience and efficiency.

The market is characterized by intense competition among major players such as GE Appliances, Scotsman Ice Systems, and Manitowoc Ice, who are continuously innovating to meet evolving consumer preferences for quality, efficiency, and technological integration in ice-making appliances. As demand expands across residential and commercial sectors worldwide, the market is poised for sustained growth supported by technological advancements and increasing consumer awareness of the benefits of nugget ice.

Request a free sample copy or view report summary: https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/nugget-ice-machine-market-report

Nugget Ice Machine Market Report Highlights

In 2023, countertop nugget ice machines dominated with 76.48% market share due to their compact size and advanced features meeting modern consumer demands. GE Profile launched the Opal 2.0 Ultra Nugget Ice Machine in June 2024, enhancing maintenance efficiency with scale-inhibiting and reusable filters, alongside a sleek design and smart features like Wi-Fi and voice control, appealing strongly to commercial users.

Residential sales of nugget ice machines are projected to grow at a 5.6% CAGR from 2024 to 2030, driven by increasing demand for high-quality, chewable ice at home. Innovations in compact and efficient designs, coupled with smart features enhancing usability, contribute to this growth.

In 2023, offline sales of nugget ice machines held over 71% market share, driven by the appeal of hands-on experience and immediate availability in physical retail channels. Discounts and promotional deals offered by hypermarkets, such as Walmart, further drive sales by making high-quality nugget ice machines more accessible and attractive to a wide range of customers.

In 2023, the market in North America held a revenue share of 45.60% of global revenue, fueled by a robust foodservice sector and growing preference for premium kitchen appliances. Technological advancements tailored for the U.S. market, alongside innovations from key manufacturers, played pivotal roles in the driving market growth in the region.

The market shows concentration with dominant players like Scotsman Ice Systems, Manitowoc Ice, and GE Appliances leading the industry. These key players hold substantial influence due to their significant presence and impact on end-user industries, and innovation in ice machine technologies.

In April 2023, Manitowoc Ice initiated a strategic integration into Pentair Foodservice, aiming to enhance its market position and expand its footprint in smart and sustainable ice machine solutions globally. This move highlights Manitowoc Ice's commitment to innovation, quality, and customer satisfaction across diverse sectors including food service, hospitality, and residential applications.

Nugget Ice Machine Market Segmentation

Grand View Research has segmented the Nugget Ice Machine Market on the basis of product, end use, distribution channel, and region:

Nugget Ice Machine Product Outlook (Revenue, USD Million; 2018 - 2030)

Countertop

Undercounter/Built-In

Nugget Ice Machine End-use Outlook (Revenue, USD Million; 2018 - 2030)

Food Service

Hospitality

Healthcare

Residential

Others

Nugget Ice Machine Distribution Channel Outlook (Revenue, USD Million; 2018 - 2030)

Offline

Online

Nugget Ice Machine Regional Outlook (Revenue, USD Million; 2018 - 2030)

North America

Europe

Asia Pacific

Central & South America

Middle East & Africa

List of Key Players in the Nugget Ice Machine Market

GE Appliances

Scotsman Ice Systems

Manitowoc Ice

Euhomy

NewAir

AvantiProducts

Hoshizaki America, Inc.

ITV Ice Makers Inc.

Whynter, LLC

Ice-O-Matic

Browse Full Report: https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/nugget-ice-machine-market-report

[lytefoot]

If you didn't grow up using the public library--

Your first library card is typically free. You will need to prove that you live in the library's area, because they are funded by local taxes. If you have a driver's license or state ID with your address on it, you can use that. Otherwise, you can use a piece of mail that you received at your address. If you haven't received any mail, many libraries will mail you a postcard you can bring back when you get it to prove your address.

Having a library card will allow you to borrow books, and probably e-books for most libraries. If you want a book your library doesn't have, most libraries belong to a network of libraries, and they might be able to borrow your book from another library for you!

If you would like help finding a book, and learning how to find books in the library more generally, you can ask a librarian for help. Helping you learn how to use the library is part of their job!

Some libraries will also require a library card to use their computers, which have internet access; to use their printers and copiers; and to use other resources. Have a look around at your library or on their web site to see what other resources they might have! As an example, my library has a maker space with 3d printers, laser cutters, and other tech you can use for arts and crafts; study rooms you can reserve by the half-hour, for up to four hours a day; and a "library of things" which allows you to borrow things like sewing machines and professional-quality video cameras; and a library of children's toys!

Many, though not all, libraries will charge you a fee for:

Looking up your card number if you forget to bring the physical card with you.

A replacement library card, if you lose the card they gave you. Sometimes they'll give you one free replacement per some time interval (e.g. once a year), because sometimes things happen even if you're careful, or give free replacements to children but not to adults.

If you are late returning a book or other item, your library might charge you a late fee. The librarian will explain how the late fees work when you get your library card. (I have ADHD and often forget to return library items. This is one huge advantage of borrowing e-books, which return automatically when they're due!)

If you lose or damage a book or other item, you will probably need to pay for the library to replace them, so be careful with the things you borrow from the library.

Most libraries will charge you to print or copy on paper (though you can usually scan to a digital file for free).

Some libraries are working to further reduce fees. For example, my library has eliminated late fees--it turns out that libraries don't lose very much money by eliminating late fees, and often get more late items actually returned, plus late fees disproportionately impact exactly the people who need the library the most. My library also allows you to print a limited number of pages per day for free, and even provides some materials for the maker space at no charge!

By the way, kids and teens can get their own library cards. If you have kids, get them a library card and teach them how to use their library. Libraries differ on how old you have to be to check out books without your parents present, or to check out books from the adult section without your parents present. Some libraries will allow teens above a certain age to get a card without a parent as well--you can check your local library's web site to find out.

[receiptbuilder]

Why Using a Fake Receipt Maker Can Benefit Your Business

Manufacturing paper and ink receipts isn't good for the environment. Did you know that the Apple Store pushed digital receipts as part of their sustainability movement? Going digital means going green!

Digital Receipts are Advantageous

Utilizing digital fake online receipts can bring many advantages for your business. Here are the top 11 advantages.

Easy Access and Saving Solutions

Accessing digital receipts is much simpler compared to hardcopy receipts because they're stored online on a cloud service and can be easily retrieved at any time with just one click of a button.

Digital receipt storage on a cloud can streamline workflow by saving you from hours spent sifting through papers to find what you're searching for, plus eliminating manual capture processes which increase human error risks.

With a simple receipt infrastructure, information will automatically load onto forms by simply scanning products. If you want to keep track of all your electronic paperwork, a receipt scanner could also prove valuable.

Online Receipts Can Save You Money

Buying paper and ink to print hard copies costs thousands each month; by switching to digital receipts instead you would reduce expenditure on capital such as paper, ink and printing machines - and save more by doing it all online!

Utilizing an easy fake uber receipt template, you can quickly generate professional digital receipts to send to all of your customers via email.

Tax Season Will Be Easier

You and your customers will find tax season to be less of an ordeal this year. Preparing taxes requires gathering paper receipts, sorting them and organizing them - which can take time and be frustrating if one goes missing!

Utilizing online receipts allows you to organize them easily when tax season arrives. Date-stamped receipts make categorizing easier; furthermore, having a digital system for tax preparation makes life less complex.

Digital fake uber receipts offer no risk of losing or throwing them away, eliminating the hassles associated with books that don't balance at the end of each month.

Marketing Opportunities

By sending digital receipts to your customers, you gain access to their email addresses. As such, this presents an opportunity for communication or promotional emails directly targeting them - similar to how social media automation tools help understand audiences better; with email communications you can deliver important customer information. 

Cut Down Clutter and Storage Costs

Printed receipts create lots of clutter in offices. Some businesses purchase archive boxes just to store all their receipts - this may cost extra space compared to digital receipts which won't leave a paper trail of receipts lingering around or needing storage space for large boxes containing your documents. Ultimately digital receipts will save both clutter and storage costs!

Capture Receipts on the Go

Printers may require access to an outlet; battery-operated receipt printers may have limited battery life. By leveraging digital platforms like Squarespace and Salesforce you can create and send receipts easily.

Digital receipts can be extremely useful if you're a small merchant who frequently attends outdoor events, like concerts and sports days. With digital fake uber receipts, there's no risk of running out of paper when creating receipts - this means more sales without worrying about running out!

After saving receipts to an electronic platform, they won't need to be kept safe during an outdoor event; further enhancing security so unauthorized people don't gain access to them.

Digital receipts offer additional advantages: some systems enable customers to sign with digital signatures such as their finger or stylus - saving you from investing in expensive pens for signature capture.

[armindindustries]

 Copy Maker Machine

Copy Maker Machine, The need for effective and superior printing solutions is rising at a never before-seen rate in today's hectic environment.Manufacturers of automatic copy machines play an increasingly important role as businesses try to meet the ever increasing demands. These producers, by providing cutting edge and creative solutions, are essential to the revolution taking place in the printing sector. Armind Industries is one such well known and highly regarded Indian firm. Let's examine the knowledge, experience, credibility, and trust that make them stand out in this cutthroat industry.

Armind Industries

Armind Industries has years of experience in the printing business and has accumulated priceless knowledge. The company's ability to swiftly and effectively adjust to the changing needs of their clients is a result of their observation of the industry's dynamic changes and advancements over time. Their extensive background gives them the expertise needed to provide innovative solutions that meet a range of printing needs.

competence in innovation and technology

Armind Industries is aware of how critical it is to keep up with the continually evolving field of printing technology. Their team of professionals continuously learns about the newest trends, so their automatic copy machines are equipped with cutting-edge features. The company specializes in creating printers that are easy to use and effective, giving their clients a flawless printing experience.

Expertise in Production and Distribution

Armind Industries is a well known supplier and manufacturer in India that has made a name for itself in the sector. Their reputation as a reliable supplier of high quality items has been established by their dedication to serving a diverse range of organizations. They offer clients in India and around the world easy access to their state of the art solutions through a vast network of distributors.

Reliable Solutions for a Range of Printing Requirements

Armind Industries' consistent dedication to quality is one of the main factors that influence businesses to choose them as their automatic copy making machine manufacturer of choice. By providing a large selection of machines to meet various printing needs, they put the needs of their customers first. Regardless of the size of the business a small startup or a major global conglomerate Armind Industries has the ideal solution to precisely and dependably satisfy customer needs.

Changing the Printing Industry

The Effect of Armind Industries' Enhanced Productivity and Efficiency,  The days of laborious manual copying machines are long gone. The printing business has seen a revolution because to the automatic copy makers manufactured by Armind Industries,  which have greatly increased productivity and efficiency. These devices have cutting edge features like duplex printing, automated document feeding, and quick print times. As a result,  companies may finish printing jobs at a much faster pace without sacrificing quality.

Economical Remedies

Armind Industries is aware of how crucial cost effectiveness is to companies. Their automated copier devices are built to reduce waste and maximize resource use. These devices help businesses save money on labor expenses, paper, and ink by optimizing the printing process, which adds up to significant savings over time.

Interface That's Easy to Use

Armind Industries makes sure that their automatic copying machines are user friendly in this day and age, as user experience is valued highly. It is not necessary to undergo considerable training to operate these devices because of their simple controls and straightforward interface. These devices allow businesses to easily and seamlessly incorporate them into their current operations, increasing productivity levels overall

Unwavering dependability and quality

Armind Industries takes great satisfaction in producing automatic copier machines that meet the most stringent quality requirements. Tight quality control procedures guarantee that every equipment performs superbly and consistently. Entire After Sale Assistance  Armind Industries offers more than only their automated copier machines for sale. To guarantee client pleasure, they offer thorough after-sales support. In addition tof providing quick answers to any questions or issues, their committed customer care team also provides quick maintenance and servicing to extend the life of their machines. By working with Armind Industries, a leading manufacturer of automatic copy machines, you can achieve unprecedented printing results. Discover how the printing business is revolutionizing and discover increased productivity, cost-effectiveness, and efficiency. For innovative printing solutions that redefine perfection, visit Armind Industries right now.

Read more information:- https://www.armindindustries.in/

[makernewmachine]

How to Use a Cricut Mug Press? [A Comprehensive Guide]

Are you curious to learn how to use a Cricut Mug Press? Well, this guide explores everything you need to know about the use of this machine. With this ultimate guide, you will be ready to use the Cricut Mug Press easily without anyone’s help. However, the Cricut Mug Press is a perfect choice for people who want to create a customized mug with pro quality.

This fantastic tool is compatible with markers, pens, and Infusible Ink transfer sheets. You also need a Cricut Design Space to create a design that can be further cut on the Cricut cutting machine. Moreover, you will need different materials, such as HTV and Infusible ink, to get desirable designs on mugs. After that, we will learn the process of using the Mug Press with step-by-step instructions. Let’s dive into it.

Step 1: Supplies You Need to Use Cricut Mug Press

Before learning how to use a Cricut Mug Press, you first need to know the requirements of supplies. These supplies are essential for using the Cricut Mug Press.

A desktop or laptop for setting up your Mug Press.

You can use any Cricut machine (Maker series, Explore series, and Joy).

Cricut Blank Ceramic Mug

Lint Roller

Butcher Paper

EasyPress mat or heat-resistant surface.

Infusible Ink Transfer Sheets and Infusible Ink Markers/Pens.

Oven Glove

Heat Resistant Tape

Laser copy paper

Step 2: Set Up Your Cricut Mug Press

In order to learn how to use a Cricut Mug Press, you must know about the Cricut Mug Press setup.

Follow the steps carefully to set up the Cricut Mug Press:

Insert the power cable into the back of your Cricut Mug Press, followed by a USB cable. Insert one end into your machine and another end into the computer.

Open the Cricut Design Space on your computer or laptop.

Then, select New Product Setup from the right-side menu.

Afterward, select Heat Press, followed by Mug Press.

You can follow the displayed instructions on the screen to download any updates you need.

While following the instructions, you will need to continue the Activate button to activate your Mug Press.

After this, the update will be completed.

Then, you can unplug the USB cable.

Now, your Mug Press is ready to use. Let’s learn how to use a Cricut Mug Press.

Step 3: Use the Cricut Mug Press

The Mug Press is relatively easy to use. After setting up, you can easily create a pro-customized mug. You can choose the design from Cricut Design Space. Always ensure that you choose the design with the exact size that fits your mug.

Once you have selected the designs, start cutting them using your cutting machine. Make sure your design is mirrored before the cut. You can follow the design given below.

After cutting the material, weed the unwanted materials.

Ensure your mug is clean and there is no dust present on it.

Then, place the design around the mug.

Afterward, you have to place the Cricut Mug Press on an easy press mat or any other heat-resistant surface you have.

Press the power button in your Mug Press, and the button will light the green color.

After that, you will hear the beep sound, meaning it is ready to use. However, you don’t need to set any temperature as it is already smart enough to set the temperature automatically.

Then, put the mug into the press.

It will take 6 minutes to sublimate the design onto the mug.

Finally, it will beep when it is done.

Turn off the device and take out the mug using gloves.

Final Words

In short, you should understand that a Mug Press alone can’t help you customize your mug. For this, you need various types of supplies that we have already mentioned in this post. Once you have all these items, you can proceed with the setup process. For this setup, you need a laptop or computer with a Cricut Design Space. When you are done with your setup, your Mug Press will be ready to use. Finally, you can design your mug like a pro!

FAQs

Question 1: How much time does a Cricut Mug Press take to heat up?

Answer: The only time your Mug Press will take to heat up is 5 minutes. After placing your mug into the press, it will take approx 6 minutes to finish it. However, the Mug Press produces a beep sound when it has finished its task. When you finally take out the mug from the press, it takes 15 to 30 minutes to cool down. Therefore, you must be cautious while taking it outside.

Question 2: Do I need a computer to use the Cricut Mug Press?

Answer: Well, you don’t have to rely entirely on a computer to use the Mug Press. Still, a computer is needed when you want to set up or activate your Cricut Mug Press. Also, you can update your firmware using your computer or laptop. All this is done when you connect your computer to your Mug Press via a USB cable.

Question 3: Is a regular mug compatible with the Cricut Mug Press?

Answer: There is no issue using your regular mug until it is made up of ceramic. Other than this, no materials should be used, such as stainless steel, plastic, etc.). Plus, the mug must be coated with sublimation material, which is suitable for your printer’s sublimation ink and Infusible ink. In short, the regular you buy from a local store is not going to work with the Cricut Mug Press.

Visit - Cricut.com/setup

Cricut Design Space Login

Cricut maker setup

Cricut Mug Press

Cricut Maker Machine

[cinnaminsvga]

Hug-o-gram | Yoongi

→ summary: 

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K → a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherie​ because she’s epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well... yoobie got me Good... anyway here’s more yoongi fluff bc apparently i’m a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy... appa yip yip

Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesn’t let it get to him. He doesn’t make it his business to listen to opinions that don’t immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it “selective hearing.” Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:

“This automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,” Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.

“Yeah,” is Yoongi’s verbose reply. He also has his mouth agape, his prone body lying side by side with his roommate of four years in their small living room. Their roomba (another one of Seokjin’s good ideas) cleans all around them, its steady whirring serving as their only source of background music. “Lowkey though, I think our position isn’t quite… as optimized as it could be.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, as he drapes his leg over Yoongi’s. His movement jostles the surrounding popcorn halo around them, as most of the food had missed their mouths by a couple of centimeters. At this point, the roomba has probably eaten more of the popcorn than the two of them combined.

“Nothing,” Yoongi shrugs, or whatever might be the lying down equivalent of a shrug. Some of the popcorn on his chest falls down, only to be quickly devoured by roomba-chi. Yoongi stares at the ceiling, tracing shapes out of the cracks that Seokjin had accidentally made when he tried using a pogo stick indoors. He points up, catching Seokjin’s attention. “Hey, hyung. Doesn’t that look a bit like Y/N?”

Seokjin squints. “You mean the mysterious brown stain near the lights? I think the toilet from the elderly couple upstairs might have leaked that.”

“No, you dipshit. The squiggly curve over there. It reminds me of her smile.” Yoongi says. There’s a stupid dopey grin on his face and Seokjin wants nothing more than to wipe it off.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Seokjin groans, turning over to envelop Yoongi in a sweaty half-armed hug. The buttery residue on his arms and stomach leaves something to be desired, but Yoongi doesn’t scoot away. He only continues to sigh dreamily, staring mindlessly at the image of you that only his lovelorn brain can imagine.

Seokjin slaps Yoongi in the face. “Dude, get a fucking grip,” he grouses, giving Yoongi a serious look. The younger doesn’t break out of his trance, further irritating him. “Will you stop pining in front of my popcorn? It’s seriously making roomba-chi lose her appetite!”

To his credit, roomba-chi did seem to be slowing down, though that could also be because it had overloaded with popcorn and was seconds away from exploding. Wouldn’t be the first time, but Seokjin always managed to find a way to save roomba-chi from imminent death. She was like a daughter to him.

“Hyung, you know I can’t. I just… God, I really like her, you know?”

“That’s the third time you said that within the last hour. Believe me, I know.” Seokjin groans, shoving Yoongi away. He sits up, reaching over to the popcorn machine and switching it off. He grabs a fistful of fallen popcorn from the ground and shoves it inside Yoongi’s mouth. “There. That should shut you up.”

“Aw weawwy wike hew, hwung.”

“And yet, you still haven’t done anything after four years,” Seokjin tuts, finally standing up. He stretches his limbs, his joints creaking youthfully. He grabs his phone from the coffee table, nearly dropping it from the butteriness of his fingers. The clock reads 4:32 PM, which means–

“Yoongi, it’s time for me to head to work. You want to come with me today?” Seokjin asks, though he knows what answer he’s going to get. You see, Seokjin’s new booming business is another one of his fantastic ideas, but it is a little... inventive. Sure, Yoongi had scoffed when he had originally suggested the idea, but Seokjin knew that it was going to be a money-maker. Sure, it had taken a few years for the business to really take off, but once it finally did…

Enter Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service! Students from his university are able to send anonymous payments directly to him, with little notes attached for their crushes. Each love letter delivery comes with a hug from Seokjin himself, delivered straight to the person without them ever knowing who the hug came from. It was ingenious! It was lucrative! But most of all…

It allowed Seokjin to cause drama and have an excuse for it! Nothing could have been more perfect for a man like him.

“No thanks,” Yoongi snorts, rolling over to face him. He watches from the floor as Seokjin changes into a butter-less shirt, which also happens to have his own face printed on the front and back. His trusty cardboard sign that reads “I’m Gonna Glomp Ya!” also joins his attire for the afternoon, a long piece of string tied to its edges so that he can wear it around his neck. Throwing on a pair of white sneakers with the tags still attached, Seokjin is ready to tackle today’s list of would-be hug-ees.

“How do I look?” Seokjin asks, combing his hair with his fingers. It leaves an oily sheen, which he somehow makes it work.

“Ugly,” Yoongi says, like a liar.

“It’s okay, I understand. I can speak tsundere, so you don’t need to explain,” Seokjin snickers, nearly getting hit with a TV remote by Yoongi. He opens his phone again, swiping to his e-mail to see his list of hug deliveries for the day.

Seokjin gets around 10 requests a day, with around half of them coming from regular clients. He’s especially fond of this boy who has been sending hugs to his TA named Namjoon for almost a month now. He has no idea why this kid has so much disposable income, though seeing the blush on Namjoon’s face everyday makes Seokjin think that he would spend every last penny for him too. Namjoon had begged Seokjin for his secret admirer’s identity, but snitchin’ isn’t a part of his service, unfortunately.

As much as Seokjin wants to know who is crushing on who, his little business wouldn’t work as well as it did if anonymity wasn’t included in his package deal. It allows people to thirst in public without facing the repercussions, like getting a knee to the groin or a slap to the face. Not that Seokjin has ever been at the receiving end of that; everyone loves him! Like, have you seen him? He must have saved a civilization in the past with how devastatingly beautiful his forehead is.

“Why am I suddenly filled with the relentless urge to deck you right now?” Yoongi says, getting up to change into clean clothes as well. His black t-shirt unfortunately does not have Seokjin’s face on it, but that can quickly be amended if the elder of the two decides to follow his every intrusive whim.

Seokjin laughs, completely unaware of the murderous capabilities of his friend. Due to his smaller body size, his percentage of evil is unusually concentrated. “Maybe it’s because you know that I’m into pain pla–” but Seokjin’s retort suddenly grinds to a halt. He chokes mid-sentence, coughing wildly as he pounds his chest with a balled-up fist. When Yoongi looks up at him, he finds his hyung staring slack-jawed at his phone, seemingly flabbergasted by what he finds on his screen.

“What’s the matter? Accidentally sent a dick pic to your prof again?” Yoongi snorts.

“That was one time! And no, it’s…” Seokjin trails off, uncharacteristically hesitant. He shifts his gaze from his phone to Yoongi, a drop of sweat quickly forming on the back of his neck. Yoongi raises a brow, silently urging him to continue.

Instead of replying, Seokjin hands him his phone. Yoongi finds a copy of one of Seokjin’s newest hug requests, only having just received it five minutes ago. As he scrolls down, he finds that this secret admirer is a new client, but that isn’t what made Seokjin stop in his tracks. Instead, it’s the recipient of the hug that catches his attention–

“Y/N has a secret admirer?” Yoongi says, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, trying his best to school his face into something less… jealous. He swivels away from Seokjin, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He convinces himself that he is the very epitome of calmness.

“You okay there, Yoongi? You look like you’re about to vomit,” Seokjin says, immediately breaking his inner peace. Yoongi groans loudly, shucking the phone over his shoulder, uncaring of where it lands. Seokjin, with his superhuman and God-given reflexes… doesn’t catch it. But he did dive to the floor like a seasoned Olympian, and his ass cushioned his phone so he supposes that’s a win.

Back to the matter at hand––

“I am fine,” Yoongi says, as he continues to not be fine.

From the floor, Seokjin shoots him a disbelieving look. He lies down more comfortably, propping his head on his elbows. Screw his hug-o-gram appointments for now; nothing brings him more joy than seeing Yoongi absolutely losing it. “Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I marched up to Y/N right now and give her the warmest, coziest, most tender hug of her fucking life?”

“Y… Yes,” Yoongi squeaks, neck glowing a furious red. He has his fists clenched (adorably) by his sides, head bowed as he faces the wall of their apartment. Seokjin’s brain makes the unhelpful comparison of Yoongi with that cat meme who says “no talk me angy” in Impact font.

Seokjin grins, his wickedness from within coiling and yearning to burst from his seams. This is it! Maybe if he pushes a little more, then maybe Yoongi will stop pining like a pathetic loser! Also, it didn’t hurt that he got to push Yoongi’s buttons while he’s at it, but hey! Not all heroes go to heaven or whatever.

He grabs his phone from his ass, scrolling back to the e-mail. “So… You wouldn’t mind if I walk up to Y/N right now and tell her ‘Hey! I’ve had an embarrassingly long crush on you and when I heard about this hugging service… I couldn’t miss the chance to shoot my shot! If you’re single and ready to #mingle, then please meet me at the Corner Cafe at 2 PM tomorrow.’” Seokjin sing-songs, snickering loudly when he sees the absolute pain etched onto Yoongi’s face.

There is a pause, and Seokjin waits as Yoongi uses his tiny kitty brain to think of what to do. He can only imagine what’s going inside his head, but he has a guess. Yoongi could either: 1) finally admit his feelings for you and come clean before Seokjin has to deliver your hug, or 2) do something stupid and counterproductive.

It comes as no surprise when Yoongi goes with option number––

“Hyung, let me come with you to work today,” Yoongi decides, walking over Seokjin’s prone body to their shoe rack. He slides into a pair of sneakers, his harried movements unusual for his customary lethargicness. He grabs a coat from its hanger, stomping his feet to get Seokjin to move faster. “C’mon! We have hugs to deliver.”

“Woah woah woah! Slow down there, Simpimus Prime.” Seokjin gets back up to his feet, skipping over to him. An absolutely feral grin is stretched upon his face. “Am I hearing what you’re saying? Are you offering… to deliver hugs with yours truly? Are you finally going to take up my offer to be an employee at Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service?”

“Of course not,” Yoongi scoffs, but his shifting eyes betray him. He fidgets in place, refusing to return Seokjin’s eager gaze. “I just… wanted to go out for once. Yeah.”

“Yoongi.”

“What?”

“You haven’t left this apartment other than to go to class in over a month. You never go out. You’re an indoor cat!”

“I’m not a fucking cat,” Yoongi hisses, like a cat. “And of course I go out! There was that one time I went outside to pick up our food delivery last week.”

Judging from Seokjin’s unimpressed stare, Yoongi’s excuse doesn’t cut it. Yoongi flaps his arms around, defeated. “Okay, fine! I rarely go out! Screw me and the bounteous crapload of assignments I have due! It’s not my fault I don’t have the time to socialize and have fun. What do you want from me?”

What Seokjin wants is to push a confession out of Yoongi, not because he needs the confirmation, but mostly because he just wants to annoy Yoongi and say “I told you so!” He’s also pretty cute when he’s all blushy and tsundere whenever he talks about you. Should he film him and sell the footage on eboys.bb? He’s certain that goth boy over here would make a pretty penny.

“You like krabby patties, don’t you Squidward?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Yoongi sniffs, nose upturned. He opens the door, not looking behind him to see Seokjin’s triumphant expression. “C’mon. Y/N’s last class of the day ends in a few minutes and we might catch her before she leaves the Science Building.”

Seokjin snorts. He is quick to slip his own coat on and he follows soon after. He locks their door shut, hopping over to Yoongi and matching his shorter-legged pace. “Yeah. Because you totally just know her schedule at the top of your head. You know, like a normal person.”

Yoongi ignores him. He trudges on, each step filled with determination as they make their way to Seokjin’s beat-up truck. Seokjin skips alongside him, observing the younger boy and placing bets inside his mind. The drive to campus isn’t that long as it only takes around 10 minutes to get there, but Seokjin guesses that Yoongi’s defenses will begin to chip away only 3 minutes into the drive.

He’ll start to realize the gravity of the situation, the cogs in his smooth and slushy excuse of a brain slowly comprehend what he’s about to witness. He’ll first think about how 1) he’s going to see you and that never helps his poor dainty grandpa heart and 2) he’s going to see you hugging Seokjin as he reads to you the short love confession from your anonymous Romeo. Seokjin bets that after 8 minutes, Yoongi will start to break out into a sweat, leaving gross perspiration marks on his good car seat leather.

After exactly 7 minutes and 34 seconds (Seokjin was keeping track of the time on his dashboard), Yoongi’s face turns an unflattering shade of green. “Dude. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Yoongi had originally offered to drive the two of them to campus, but Seokjin had the good foresight to refuse. Had Yoongi been the one on the wheel, he would’ve brought them back home in an instant due to nerves. So instead, Seokjin speeds up, ignoring Yoongi’s soft whimpers of defeat.

“Too bad, but there is no turning back now. I have six deliveries today and I am not putting my livelihood on the line just because your balls have magically shrunk in size,” Seokjin snickers. He glances at Yoongi from the corner of his eye and feels the slightest touch of pity for the pathetic fool beside him. “But if it really makes you want to shit yourself from anxiety, we could save Y/N for last. Though, on second thought… That could also prolong your misery, which I will always be up for.”

“God, shut up,” Yoongi groans, slamming his head on the dashboard. Seokjin continues undeterred as he pulls into the campus parking lot, waiting for his friend to make up his damn mind for once in his life. He supposes that he is being a little harsh on Yoongi, but there are only so many sad love songs he can listen to without going completely insane.

Aren’t you tired of being nice? The demon on his shoulder cajoles, shoving the corpse of his angel counterpart somewhere down a ditch. Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

And who is Seokjin to deny his impulsive needs anyway?

“No, let’s… just get this over with,” Yoongi decides, head still smushed against his dashboard. He doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, not even when Seokjin shuts off the engine and makes a show of “leaving” Yoongi behind.

“Okay, lover boy. You have ten seconds to get your butt into high gear before I’m leaving you behind. And you should know that I’m not above playing dirty and giving Y/N the sweetest fucking hug of her life that will make her forget anyone else exists in this world, so you better start moving before I–”

Like lightning, Yoongi scrambles out of the car faster than if it had caught on fire (and Seokjin’s car has exploded before and Yoongi certainly did not seem as bothered to escape than he does right now.) He nearly trips over himself in his haste, getting caught by the car door and nearly receiving a concrete facial to boot. He straightens up with as much dignity as he can muster (which he doesn’t have very much of, if at all.) Seokjin is kind enough not to mention anything, but the shit-eating grin on his face is enough to make Yoongi bristle.

They exit the parking lot, looking to the world like the sun and moon had turned human for the day. Min Yoongi, with his all-black attire and gaunt appearance, is heavily juxtaposed with the man who appears to have been vomited on by a rainbow. They walk side-by-side together, accustomed to the stares that often come their way when they go out in public.

“I just can’t believe we’re doing this,” Yoongi moans for the umpteenth time, his movements stilted like a robot. His footsteps look heavily disjointed like his knees were beginning to rust. His arms swing like a pendulum, adding to the unnaturalness of his motions. Basically, he looks like a fucking idiot.

“Who are you calling an idiot?” Yoongi snaps. Seokjin startles a bit, realizing belatedly that he’d said that out loud. Not that he cares. Yoongi continues, “I’m not the one wearing a fucking cardboard sign that looks like a toddler made it with macaroni and glitter!”

“Hey, Taehyung told me it looked good,” Seokjin sniffs, fingering the macaroni pieces dejectedly. “I don’t need to hear an opinion from a Music major.”

“Shut up, Business major. No one likes you fucking snakes,” Yoongi retorts, crossing his arms. “Your definition of fun is going on LinkedIn and using Excel sheets.”

Distracted by their own quarrel, neither of them notice the sound of the large clock in the middle of campus that chimes every hour, signaling that it was already 5 PM. A few minutes later, hoards of students begin to leave university for the day, the walkways beginning to fill with people as they head home. Amidst the chattering and bustling of everyone trying to get out of the crowd, it is hard to notice that you are also one of the hundreds of people finishing your last class of the day.

But Yoongi notices, as he always does. Call it Y/N intuition, or whatever. “There,” Yoongi points you out over dozens of heads. Seokjin can hardly spot you, but he trusts Yoongi’s weird Y/N-dar to find you without fail. People have begun to notice the two of them, most of whom were whispering excitedly when they notice that Seokjin is in his work attire.

“Oh my god, someone’s getting a hug-o-gram! I wonder who…”

“Have you ever ordered one? I got one for my current girlfriend last month and that’s how we got together.”

“I’ve always wanted to send one, but the prices are insane! Fuck them business students and their capitalist ways.”

“Screw sending a hug to someone else! I wanna order a hug for me. Kim Seokjin is a hot piece of ass.”

(Yoongi swears the last comment had sounded eerily like Seokjin himself, but the older boy’s mouth hadn’t moved in the last minute.)

“Alright, Yoongi. Here’s the plan,” Seokjin leans closer to Yoongi, stage whispering into his ear. Everyone within a six-foot radius is eagerly eavesdropping, not even bothering to pretend that they aren’t. It’s common knowledge that Seokjin basks in their attention, anyway. Yoongi rolls his eyes, urging him to get it over with.

“Y/N is over there, right? Well, I have to send a hug to this guy named Mark Lee too, who just so happens to be over there,” Seokjin points behind them, in the opposite direction of where Y/N was heading, “so here’s my proposition. You go over to Y/N and deliver the hug for me, while I go catch up to Mark so that we can kill one bird with two stones!”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi wheezes, pushing Seokjin away from him. His eyes bug out. “Are you insane? I am not doing that. And the phrase is ‘killing two birds with one stone,’ you fucking idiot.”

“Same shit, Shakespeare! Who cares about numbers!” Seokjin exclaims, exasperated. “Listen, would you rather you hug Mark and I hug Y/N?”

“I would much rather prefer that I stick my whole fist up your anus,” Yoongi seethes.

“Interesting proposition, but maybe for a later time,” Seokjin says, not missing a beat. “Listen, dude. The longer we prolong this little bitchfest you have going on, the farther away Y/N is gonna get. You know I will stop at nothing to deliver her hug anyway, so would you rather you miss your chance right now when I am so magnanimously offering you a shot at getting closer to your crush?”

Even though Yoongi feels like his insides were slowly turning into mashed potatoes, he knows that he had already made a decision long before they left the house. Seokjin is right; this is a good opportunity for him, whether he is willing to admit it out loud. Perhaps it is just because it is Seokjin of all people who is egging him on that preprogrammed him into thinking that this was a bad idea. In all seriousness, it was just a hug, nothing fancy. It isn’t like Yoongi was going to have to kiss you––

(His heart contracts and Yoongi wonders if he’s having a stroke. The thought of your soft lips connecting with his is enough to cause the wind to knock out of his chest. God, Yoongi is so screwed.)

“Why must I always feel as though I am a snail and God is personally salting me,” Yoongi groans, stepping away from Seokjin and heading your way. Behind him, Seokjin hollers in what he assumes is friendly support, but it only further antagonizes Yoongi. The absolute buffoon waves enthusiastically from behind him, a beaming grin almost ready to split his face in two. Yoongi flips him off without looking back.

God fucking dammit. The closer that Yoongi is to approaching you, the stronger the urge to just evaporate like ice cream on hot concrete becomes. He can feel himself perspiring from every corner of his body and he just hopes that his black attire will do well to mask the slimy creature that he is underneath his clothing.

This is all Seokjin’s fault, Yoongi reminds himself. If he hadn’t started this stupid hugging service in the first place, then no one would have ordered a hug for you in the first place. Then Yoongi wouldn’t have to be in this stupid predicament either!

But you could’ve ordered a hug for her if you wanted to, says the annoying part of his brain – the same part that’s always been a little bit too hopeful for Yoongi’s liking. The whispers continue, And she wouldn’t even know it would be you! But more importantly…

“Seokjin wouldn’t know either,” Yoongi huffs irritably because he knows it’s true. The biggest thing stopping him from ever making a move on you, other than his debilitating fear of rejection and heartbreak, is the fact that he’d rather explode into spores than for Seokjin to find out that he’d used his “genius” business idea to get the girl of his dreams.

He’s afraid that one day, Seokjin would magically develop telepathic powers (a fear that Yoongi feels that the majority of the human population should also share) and find out that Yoongi doesn’t actually think his hug-o-gram service is dumb. It’s actually really cute, and Yoongi hates to admit that the success rate of his service is nearly perfect in terms of getting couples together.

But Yoongi is a strong (read: stubborn) man; he’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin the satisfaction of seeing his business work out for his seemingly hopeless case. Which brings him to the present–

You’re standing by the entrance of the Sciences building. You are dressed nicely as always; Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever seen you in anything remotely slobby, not even a pair of sweats like any regular uni student. You always look a little bit business proper: the epitome of someone who should be on the student council.

You’re speaking to someone, a younger male student by the looks of it. The hairs on Yoongi’s neck stand at attention and, God forbid, did he just fucking growl? Did he make that sound? By the looks of the students carefully navigating their way around him, Yoongi surmises that he did make that sound. Geez, is he some sort of animal? Is he going to turn into those feral stan accounts on Twitter that salivate over their K-pop boys like it’s their job? He hopes not.

But what if that’s the kid who sent the hug–

Yoongi shuts up his brain before he can let it finish. No, he can’t let himself go down that path. It’ll only cause him to self-combust right then and there, and he isn’t exactly keen on letting you see his entrails anytime soon. That would be the least cool thing to do, he decides. And so, with his brain turned off, he walks over to you, arms swinging robotically by his sides as he forces himself closer.

“Oh thank you so much, Y/N! You’ve been a real help to our club, you know?” The boy (Yoongi can’t believe they’re letting toddlers into university these days!) says, his eyes glittering with an ambition that still hasn’t been killed by the all-consuming dread that comes with university.

You laugh lightly, the sound causing butterflies to flutter excitedly in Yoongi’s chest. “No worries, Soobin. I’m glad I could be of help. If the editorial board needs any more help, don’t be shy to shoot me a message, alright?”

Soobin nods enthusiastically, his head bobbing up and down so quickly that Yoongi was afraid his neck would snap. “No worries, Y/N! Have a good rest of your week!” He waves a cheery goodbye, springing away with his numerous anime keychains on his backpack jingling softly in his wake.

“What a cute kid,” you sigh. You look incredibly fond, and Yoongi hates the bitter coil swimming in the pit of his stomach. That feeling soon fizzles out when you finally turn to face Yoongi. Your eyebrows shoot up, but your expression quickly morphs into one of pleasant surprise. Yoongi’s heart stops for just a moment, feet turning cold. “Yoongi! Oh my goodness, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen you! How’s it going?”

Let’s play a game, shall we? How many of Yoongi’s nervous ticks can you spot within the next five minutes? Think of this as the easiest game of Where’s Waldo ever!

“Hnng,” Yoongi stammers, his hand immediately going to scratch the back of his neck. His cheeks pinken, pupils shaking in every different direction as they try to focus on anything but you. It always feels like he’s standing way too close to the sun when he’s around you, hardly able to keep his gaze focused on you. He chooses to stare resolutely at your chin, but even your fucking chin was impossibly cute.

Seriously? Yoongi is a walking shitshow! His inner voice comes back, but this time it sounds uncannily like his roommate. Come on, buddy. Just say hi… You know, like a normal person. “H… Hey, Y/N.”

Success count: 1 point for the Yogurt Machine!

Even though Yoongi felt like he was living his worst nightmare, you still looked every bit like his favorite daydream. You are all smiles, seemingly unperturbed by Yoongi’s slow, embarrassing demise. “It’s so good to see you! Midterms haven’t been too hard on you, I hope?”

“I’ve been better,” he says. Better now that you’re here, he leaves unsaid. God, can you imagine if he said that out loud?

Your mouth drops open, soft cherry blossoms blooming across your cheeks. “Um, what did you say?” you squeak, embarrassed. But certainly not as embarrassed as the boy in front of you.

Yoongi stops breathing. He did not say that aloud, had he? Judging by the awkward silence stretching between the two of you, the signs are pointing to: yes. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygo–– “Er, what I mean to say is,” Yoongi stutters through his sentence, his entire body flushing fire engine red like it’s nobody’s business. He must look like Satan’s spanked ass right now. “I… I’m here to deliver a hug!”

Confusion quickly replaces the shock on your face. You tilt your head, brows scrunching up cutely. “A hug?” you ask.

“R-right,” Yoongi says, waving his arms around because he has nothing else better to do. He gestures vaguely in the opposite direction, where Seokjin had left to find his other clients. “I’m, uhh… Helping my roommate. Have you heard of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram service?”

“Oh, yeah!” You hop excitedly in place, looking to all the world like the cutest thing in the universe. Yoongi thinks you should be classified as a public hazard, what with how you’re somehow able to give him diabetes just from standing next to him. “I totally heard about that! I’ve always wanted to send a hug, but I’ve always been a little shy.”

That piques Yoongi’s interest immediately. You wanted to send a hug? But to who? He unconsciously clenches his jaw, and he can feel a vein pop up near his neck. He forces himself to smile, but he knows it probably looks more like a grimace. “Oh really? That’s… I didn’t know you had a crush on somebody.”

Yoongi is too busy wallowing in his own self-pity puddle that he misses the way you gaze shyly up at him through your eyelashes, your hands clasped behind your back. “Y-yea… I don’t really go around telling it to just anybody,” you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. You clear your throat. “So, are you here to deliver a hug or something?”

Nothing gets past you, huh? Yoongi swallows thickly as he twiddles his thumbs. He still can’t bear to look at you head-on, afraid that his emotions would be too obvious if he did. (Who is he kidding… He knows he’s fucking obvious, and yet you never seem to get the picture!) “Yea, I am. I’m here to deliver one to you, actually.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction, but he does notice the way your entire body stiffens. His mind immediately starts to run a minute, trying to guess why you’d suddenly gone stock still.

Did you know who your secret admirer was already? Or perhaps, were you just thoroughly shocked to receive one at all? That can’t be it… You’re the campus sweetheart! Surely it’s much weirder that it has taken eons for you to get your first hug… Or perhaps, are you so disgusted by the thought of him delivering the hug? Oh my god, what if you didn’t want him to hug you? Shit, this entire thing is a terrible idea! How did Seokjin ever convince him to do this stupid shit and get his heartbroken in the process? He swears he’s going to shove ten firecrackers up his ass the next time he sees him––

“Um, Yoongi?” You’re staring worriedly at him, your hand semi-raised as if you were about to wave in front of him. Did you say something? He must look like a fucking prick to you! He shakes his head, trying desperately to get his mind back into his body. Why must he be cursed with inner monologue disease? What is he, some sort of shoujo manga male protagonist?

“Sorry about that. I’ve been a little spacey these days,” he laughs, but even he can hear the panic laced in his voice. He sounds just on the edge of being hysterical. “Ahaha… What were you saying?”

“I was just… shocked?” You giggle softly, making Yoongi cry internally. You smirk, mischief glittering in your eyes. “I just never imagined you’d be the type to… I don’t know…”

“Willingly hug people for the sake of capitalism? I feel you,” Yoongi snorts, forgetting for a moment who he’s talking to. “Believe me, I’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin to use me for his stupid business venture.”

“Then why are you delivering a hug to me now?” you ask, still smiling.

“Hnng,” Yoongi’s tongue feels like it’s grown two sizes all of a sudden. He wheezes, choking on his own spit as he’s caught off guard by your question. “W-well, I––”

“Just being a good friend, I’m guessing?” You’re full-on giggling now, barely trying to hide your mirth behind your hands. Yoongi understands now; you’re teasing him. He hates how amused you are by his awkwardness, but he loves the way your entire expression lights up, like you’re enjoying yourself by being with him.

“Let’s go with that,” Yoongi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. He has his head bowed, hoping that his unruly fringe can finally come in handy and hide the disastrous blush encompassing his face. “Right… I’ll just, umm…”

“Am I getting my hug today, or am I gonna have to take a rain check?” You laugh, slapping his shoulder in an attempt to help him shake off the awkward tension. It has the opposite intended effect, as Yoongi’s breath hitches imperceptibly at your proximity. You had taken a step closer, and Yoongi could smell the sweet perfume you always seemed to be wearing. Please don’t pop a boner right now. That would be super fucking creepy.

“You’re…” Yoongi hesitates, arms uselessly immobile by his sides. He doesn’t know if he can even get them to move at this point, as he has lost all motor skills the moment you had focused all your attention on him. It’s a miracle that his heart remembers to beat every so often. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go for it, okay?”

You nod, hands tucked neatly behind your back. “No need to be scared, Yoongi. I don’t bite,” you joke.

God, if you only knew about the dreams I’ve had of you. Yoongi hopes to all the deities from up above that he had not said that aloud, but you don’t seem to be disgusted, so he can only assume that his traitorous brain had disconnected with his mouth for the time being.

He shuffles closer to you, the warmth of your body closing in as he makes the grueling effort to lift his arms up to gently wrap themselves around you, but before he can even fully hug you––

You’re quick to reciprocate. With a small laugh, you wrap your own arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest with more force than Yoongi was expecting. He lets out a soft wheeze, mouth dropping open when he is assaulted by the smell of your fruity shampoo. His hands hover awkwardly above you, still unsure of where it’s okay to touch you without weirding you out.

You tilt your face up, eyes crinkling cutely by the sheer force of your grin. Both of your faces are only centimeters away from each other, and Yoongi could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired. His breathing stills as he becomes positively mesmerized by the beautiful sight in front of him. He doesn’t even hear the sound of phone camera shutters around him, as he is much too deeply focused on nothing but you, you, you.

“Hey, don’t half-ass your hug! Gimme a good ol’ bear hug!” you whine, nudging his elbows gently to get them to move. Snapped out of his reverie, Yoongi mechanically does as you say, his head completely empty of thoughts. He wraps his arms tightly around your shoulders, his wrist knocking slightly against the back of your head until you’re back to snuggling deep into his chest.

“Your laundry detergent smells nice,” you say, slightly muffled by his shirt. Yoongi lets out a breathy laugh, mostly out of disbelief more than anything. He can’t even begin to process anything right now; he feels like he’s reverted back into a single-celled organism.

“Thanks?” Yoongi squeaks, but you don’t seem to mind his awkward attempts at being a Normal Person™️. You crane your neck upwards so that you’re looking him directly in the eye. There’s a twinkle of mischief there, like you’re enjoying Yoongi’s flushed face a little too much. He honestly feels like he’s seconds away from exploding into tiny bite-sized pieces, and he fears that if you snuggle deeper into his chest, he might just do exactly that.

“So… Are we just supposed to hug for another ten minutes, or am I allowed to let go?”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize how long it’s been. You could’ve been hugging him for ten hours and he wouldn’t have known. Yoongi jerks away from you, nearly vaulting himself across campus by how quickly he lets you go. Thankfully, you don’t appear offended––you were more amused than anything. Yoongi has no idea how red he is right now; he feels like he could be blowing steam out of his ears, astounding anatomists everywhere by his peculiar talent.

“I just have to–” Yoongi pats his back pockets for his phone, clumsily pulling it out and looking for his text messages, “–read this message from your, um, secret admirer and then we’ll be good to go.”

“Great.” You nod at him enthusiastically. “Whenever you’re ready, Yoonie.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches right then, caught off guard by the nickname. Only you ever called him that, and it never fails to make Yoongi’s insides feel like molten lava every time you say it. “I… Yeah, here goes,” Yoongi mutters, trying his best to remember how to speak.

He recites the message with as much enthusiasm as he can manage, which is to say, not very much. He could probably read the phonebook with more zeal, but it’s hard to give it his all when the words feel like acid in his throat. He’s unconsciously clenching his jaw as he speaks, looking like a constipated gorilla. “...so, if you’re single and ready to #mingle, then––” Yoongi stops mid-sentence, staring resolutely at his phone screen with a grimace.

You blink confusedly. “Then?”

“Then nothing,” Yoongi finishes, pocketing his phone without an inch of remorse. “I don’t know what was up with that message, but somehow the letter got cut short. Sorry about that.”

“Huh, strange.” You shrug your shoulders, not bothering to question him.

Yoongi fist bumps himself mentally, though other people might disagree and say that he doesn’t deserve any type of congratulations, to which Yoongi says a big “fuck you!” to those imaginary haters. In the wise words of Kim Seokjin himself, “not everyone is worthy to receive your fucks, so it’s time to stop giving them.” (Kim, 2020)

“Well, that was fun! Thanks for delivering the hug to me, Yoonie,” you pinch Yoongi’s cheek, giggling when they turn even redder. “I’ll see you around, I guess? Don’t let those midterms kill ya!” You wave cheerily at him, walking past him and heading towards the bus stops. Yoongi stands frozen in place, the events of the last few minutes finally catching up to him and frying his brain beyond repair.

Oh my god, he fucking hugged you! Like, a good and genuine hug! You felt so warm and so soft and you smelled really good and it was more than he could ever imagine and just––

Yoongi’s brain is trying (and failing) to desperately parse the delayed barrage of information as it comes, but it’s hard for the little hamster running circles in his head when it has never had to run a day in its life. Yoongi’s body feels like it’s overheating even though the weather is nearing the start of winter, but that’s all thanks to you and the devastating effect you have on him.

In short, Yoongi machine has broken, and any sort of maintenance is going to be hard to come by at the moment.

Yoongi could have been standing in front of the Science building for an entire year and he wouldn’t have budged until a tornado in the form of Kim Seokjin arrived to knock him out of his brain dead state. Whistling lowly, the elder stops in front of the rigid mass of meat, an eyebrow quirked in exasperation. “Dude, nice rigor mortis cosplay. Like, yes girl, give us nothing!” he exclaims, slapping Yoongi back to consciousness.

Yoongi blinks rapidly, dazed like he’s woken up from a dream. “What? What’s happening?” he replies dumbly.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Yoongi. Did you finish delivering Y/N’s hug or what? I finished all my deliveries in the same time you had with Y/N, so I better hope to God you aren’t planning on applying to be an employee of mine, because you certainly have a long way to go before––”

“I hugged her,” Yoongi interrupts, eyes going glassy once more. His mouth is agape, and Seokjin can see a pool of saliva forming, ready to runneth over. He could see the rusted gears turning inside his dongsaeng’s head. “Oh my god, hyung. I fucking hugged her.”

“Yeah, and I hugged Taehyung Kim and felt his gigantic dick press into my stomach. You aren’t special,” Seokjin snorts, clasping Yoongi by the bicep. He drags him away, leading them to their parked car. “C’mon, Dampé. I’m tired and I wanna eat popcorn again.”

As they walk back to the parking lot, the campus roads are a lot less populated now that most students have gone home. Yoongi only then realizes how late it truly is and he vaguely wonders how long he had been stuck standing there before Seokjin had come to drag him back home. The sun has begun its daily descent, filling the courtyard with a warm glow and causing their shadows to grow longer as they trudge quietly to their car.

The campus is quiet enough that both of them hear the quiet buzz of Seokjin’s phone, despite him putting it on silent mode before he had gone on his hugging deliveries. He stops mid-step, causing Yoongi to bump his nose into his wide back. He yelps, shoving Seokjin forward in irritation.

“Why’d you fucking stop, you asshole?” Yoongi whines, his normal annoying personality resurfacing now that he’s begun to recover from your hug. He peers over Seokjin’s behemoth shoulders, squinting at his phone screen. “What? Another hug delivery?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow since I think she’s gone home for the day,” Seokjin says, his tone sounding slightly too delighted for comfort. “In fact, I know she’s gone home already.”

Yoongi stills, changing his focus onto the elder’s expression. He looks… too eager to receive a simple hug-o-gram request. A shiver shoots through Yoongi’s spine when he realizes how nefariously bastardous Seokjin’s smile has grown, the tips of his smirk curling upwards like a villain from a classic Disney animation.

“What?” Yoongi glares acidly at Seokjin, but the elder is unaffected. In fact, he seems to grow more pleased the more aggravated Yoongi becomes. “Spit it out! What’s got your prostate tickled?”

“Oh, nothing,” Seokjin singsongs, shoving his phone down the front of his pants, exactly where he knows Yoongi would never touch. “Just got an interesting new regular customer, is all.”

“A new regular?” Yoongi’s pitch heightens, the hairs on the back of his neck bristling in alarm (like a cat.) “Is it… Another request for… You know who?”

“I wasn’t aware Voldemort went to our university,” Seokjin teases, thoroughly enjoying Yoongi’s distress. “Though, if you’re talking about Y/N, then the answer is not not not no.”

“Two double negatives.” Anyone could hear the audible soft rattling of his two brain cells exerting themselves as Yoongi deciphers his answer. “That means…”

Yoongi stares pointedly at Seokjin’s crotch, where the outline of his phone is glaringly obvious. “Show me,” Yoongi growls, not making a move to actually touch Seokjin’s nether regions.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “No one’s stopping you from taking my phone though?”

“Hyung!”

“Buy me bubble tea first, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine,” Yoongi acquiesces, folding his arms in annoyance. “Just tell me. Is it really the same guy who requested the hug for Y/N today as well?”

Seokjin fiddles around for his phone, digging deeper when it nearly drops down the leg of his pants. When he pulls it out and swipes to his e-mails, he confirms Yoongi’s fear. “Yep. And it seems like he saw you deliver the hug today. Says that he’d prefer that I deliver the hug next time,” Seokjin smirks, enjoying the deep-set frown on Yoongi’s face.

When Seokjin takes a closer look at the order, however, he notices something a little off. “Hold on a sec,” he scrolls to the receipt, scowling when he sees the incorrect amount. “Well, you might be in luck, Yoongi-chi. Looks like loverboy sent the wrong payment. He’s a few dollars short.”

“What?” Yoongi says, for what feels like the tenth time in this entire fic. He grabs Seokjin’s phone, no longer repulsed by where it had been only a few minutes prior. Like Seokjin said, the customer had given the wrong amount, much to both their confusion.

“That’s weird, considering he just ordered a hug today,” Seokjin murmurs, shaking his head. “Oh well. Happens to the best of us. Guess I’ll just have to refund the poor sap.”

“Wait,” Yoongi presses the phone to his chest, preventing Seokjin from taking it. His hyung raises a brow.

“What is it?”

“What if I just… pay you the remaining amount? Then I can also deliver the hug to her and, uhh...” Yoongi mumbles the remaining part, but Seokjin has trained his ears to catch every whisper and mutter for moments just like this. He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t perfect his eavesdropping skills to a spy’s degree. That’s right––Seokjin is a sloppy and nosey bitch and he’s not afraid to admit it!

“Oh? Do my ears deceive me?” Seokjin guffaws, pinching Yoongi’s cheeks for good measure. He hisses in response, but Seokjin isn’t afraid of some little kitten. Seokjin is a bigger bitch with a meaner bite. “Is my little Yoongi Woongi seriously offering to deliver another hug to Miss Y/N? How magnanimous of you.”

Yoongi stares at him, stunned for a moment. A few seconds pass before he shakes his head, faux disdain coloring his expression. “That’s right,” Yoongi huffs, detaching himself from Seokjin’s meaty claws. He keeps his gaze averted, like the big stupid tsundere that he is. “I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart! I care about your profits, and I want to make your workload a little lighter! Isn’t that what you want?”

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Seokjin snickers, poking Yoongi in the tit. He swivels away, skipping merrily away to their parked car. “I’m expecting that cash in my Paypal by the time I get to the car, or else the deal is off. Make it snappy, loverboy!”

Yoongi had never transferred cash to someone so quickly in his life.

(Yes, not even when the food court on campus was doing a BOGO promo for churros. That’s the extent of how whipped his ass is, period.)

x x x x x

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

“Listen, I’m seriously not forcing you to do this,” Seokjin starts, even though he’s giving his utmost effort to further embarrass Yoongi by handing out flyers about Hug-o-gram’s newest employee. “Please, take one!” he cajoles, offering a flyer to a gaggle of giggling freshmen. “Make sure to reserve a hug within the week! Yoongi-chi over here is on his way to becoming employee of the month if he gets ten requests by Friday!” They all point and whisper at Yoongi, and he swears he hears one of them wolf whistle in admiration.

“That’s what makes this entire thing terrible. I’m doing this on my own volition, and I absolutely abhor myself for it,” Yoongi moans, grabbing Seokjin’s stack of flyers and smacking himself in the head with them. It probably would’ve hurt more when Seokjin still had a full-stack, but people had swarmed them the moment they entered the heart of the campus, everyone curious to see Yoongi in his interesting attire.

Seokjin might have been famous for creating the Hug-o-gram Service, but Yoongi was famous for hating the business idea, so it’s easy to understand why everyone was interested. (For good reason, he thinks darkly to himself.)

“Damn, Yoongi-chi. Looks like you’re trending on the campus Reddit page,” Seokjin laughs, wheezing even harder when Yoongi points him with a murderous glare. “What? Like you said, this was all your idea.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask to wear… whatever this is!” Yoongi whines, tugging on the string around his neck. The cardboard sign had been ready and prepared the moment they arrived home the other day, arousing Yoongi’s suspicions on Seokjin’s actual involvement in his current predicament. Those suspicions are put in the backburner for now, however, as Yoongi actually feels like he might die of embarrassment instead of the packets of MSG coursing through his veins from the ten ramen packs he ate this morning. Maybe both will kill him, if he’s lucky.

“Well, I would love to lend you my uniform, but I haven’t gotten a t-shirt printed with your face on it yet, so you’ll have to deal with the kitten ears and cardboard sign for now,” Seokjin says, patting him on the back. “Or, would you rather I have you wear a shirt with my face on it? I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’d rather swallow a Tide pod, thanks,” Yoongi says through gritted teeth. “C’mon, let’s move. We’ve been standing in the middle of campus like street clowns for long enough. We need to find Y/N because her class is about to end.”

“Street clowns, huh? I guess you are only missing the make-up to complete the look, especially since you seem adamant to keep honking your way through that sickening crush of yours.” Seokjin nearly catches a punch to the head, but his superior reaction time saves him from Yoongi’s sorely lacking physicality. He snatches Yoongi by the hand, dragging them towards your lecture hall. “C’mon, clown! Let’s honk this bread!”

As the two of them get closer to where you are, Yoongi’s heartbeat begins to accelerate. He wonders idly if he should see a doctor after all this, hoping that he hadn’t actually contracted heart disease due to all this stress. Lord forbid that he meet his end before he even gets to ask you out or something!

Even though he’s already hugged you once (and it was, by far, the most euphoric experience of his sad, miserable life), he still finds himself getting clammy hands at the thought of seeing you again. Nevermind the fact that he looked like a walking circus with his get-up… No, Yoongi refuses to think about it anymore, lest his last remaining brain wrinkle irreversibly smoothens.

The campus clock rings loudly, signaling the end of another block of classes. Students rush out of the buildings, with you being one of the first ones out for a change. When Yoongi spots your head of hair among the crowd, he doesn’t immediately notice what you’re wearing at first. In fact, it’s Seokjin who stops in his tracks for a moment, surprised by how you look.

“Woah, Y/N! Looking good,” Seokjin greets, rushing past Yoongi to envelop you in a hug. (A platonic hug, Yoongi reminds himself. Because unlike Yoongi, Seokjin is a normal human being who can give hugs to anyone he wants because he’s… fucking Seokjin! Lucky bastard that he is.)

“Woah!” You laugh, surprised by the sudden hug. You pat him on the back giddily, allowing him to swing you around a little. “What’s this all about? Am I getting a hug-o-gram again?”

“Yes, you are. But not from me,” Seokjin detaches himself from you, scooting away to point at Yoongi. When Seokjin moves away, Yoongi finally understands why his hyung had said you looked good. No, that was an understatement––you looked [redacted].

(For the sake of the author’s fragile ash-coated heart, she has chosen to redact Yoongi’s exact words to protect herself from slamming her head against a keyboard from how cheesy this fic is becoming. Let’s just say the word starts with a B and ends with an L. Make of that as you will.)

You must have come out of an interview or presentation of sorts because you were dressed more nicely than you usually do, which is a pretty big deal considering how put together you always looked. Your hair is styled nicely, obviously given much more care and effort than your regular appearance. You’re wearing a cute little black dress, long enough to be professional but short enough to give Yoongi breathing problems.

If Yoongi’s brain had a playlist, it would be nothing but the sound of him going HNNNNNNNNNG on repeat.

“Oh geez.” Yoongi curses lowly, smiling through the pain. This is fine, he thinks, even though it is clearly not fine. Yoongi has always been a terrible liar.

“Yoongi?” You sound incredulous, though that’s honestly a win in Yoongi’s book considering everything. You didn’t look disgusted, so that’s great. “You look…” You stop yourself, covering your mouth to hide your grin but your amusement is palpable. At least he made you laugh, he supposes.

“Like a fucking idiot? You said it,” Yoongi snorts, arms crossed defiantly. He’s trying to look intimidating, but with his cheeks puffed up and these abominable kitten ears on his head, he looks more like a grumpy cat throwing a tantrum. He juts a thumb at Seokjin, “Thank this himbo for the outfit. I definitely would have chosen something more… inconspicuous.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” You quip, still trying to mask your giggles. On the other hand, Seokjin was wheezing like a hyena, his phone pulled out and presumably filming Yoongi to add to his cringe compilation.

“Exactly what I said!” Seokjin says through his laughter, tears of mirth streaming down his face. He walks back to Yoongi, pushing him forward until he’s face to face with you. “Go on, then! We haven’t got all day!”

“I’m assuming you’re officially part of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram business now?” you ask, opening your arms wide to accept his hug. Like the beta male that he is, Yoongi has to be the one to follow in your footsteps, meekly coming closer to wrap you in an embrace.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Yoongi mutters, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He feels you vibrate with laughter, bringing a small smile on his own face. He likes making you laugh, always has.

With the cardboard sign serving as a barrier between the two of you, he isn’t as fearful of you feeling the erratic beat of his heart, though it wouldn’t be hard to guess if you looked at him. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy your hug rather than just panic through the entire ordeal like yesterday.

Soon enough, you’re detaching yourself from him, still standing close. Your arm is just a hair’s breadth away, and if not for Seokjin enthusiastically videotaping this entire experience, Yoongi might have closed in for another hug if he could manage.

“It’s always nice to get a hug from someone you like, huh?” You say, cheeks tinted a rosy color. The true meaning of your words flies over Yoongi’s head, as his feeble mind chooses to focus on your comment a little differently.

“I––Of course I like you! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Yoongi laughs nervously, unaware that he’s slowly digging himself into a ditch. To the side, Seokjin audibly slaps a hand to his face, body shivering with secondhand embarrassment from being blasted by the full force of how idiotic his friend actually is.

Yoongi sees you deflate a little, further confusing him. “Yeah, you’re right I guess…” You sigh, taking a step backward dejectedly. Yoongi flounders a little, unsure how he managed to fuck up in just a few seconds when you had just hugged him like your life depended on it.

Choosing now to interfere before the going gets rough, Seokjin steps in between and slings an arm around both of you. Yoongi groans under the weight of his arm, glaring when he notices that Seokjin had done it on purpose, but only to him. You don’t look too bothered by his rude gesture, albeit you were more befuddled than before.

“Hey, Y/N! I don’t know if you’ve ever ordered a hug-o-gram before, but I’m doing a special this week! Now that Yoongi-chi has so kindly joined the team,” Seokjin gives him a pointed look, to which the black-haired music major sticks his tongue out petulantly, “we’re doing a little promotion for first-time customers! Would you be interested in ordering one?”

Your eyes widen, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “M-me? Ordering a hug-o-gram? Well, I…” you hesitate, sending a small glance at Yoongi before looking away in embarrassment. “I would like to, but I don’t know if it’ll be well received, you see…”

Seokjin grumbles, silently cursing the stupid shithead who caused his own demise in the first place. The worst part is that he had no idea that he totally just friendzoned you! YOU! Someone who was literally leagues ahead of him. He sincerely has no idea what you see in this bumbling idiot, but everyone with a brain knows that you have been crushing on him for as long as he’s been crushing on you, so perhaps you’re a little bit of an idiot yourself for liking him back.

Being friends with the two of you makes him feel like he’s constantly wearing a sloppy wet diaper, and he hates it. He wants to wipe his ass as soon as possible!

Seokjin shoves Yoongi away roughly, ignoring his indignant squawks as he pulls you aside. He takes you by the hand, taking you a few steps away from Yoongi, far enough that he can whisper into your ear without the other boy hearing.

Yoongi fumes from the sidelines, trying to keep his emotions in check even though he’s bursting at the seams with jealousy. Not for the first time, Yoongi irritably realizes that he does act like a cat, especially in moments like this. He might make fun of Seokjin for being an attention whore, but Yoongi is the same, if only at a smaller scale. He just wants you to look at him, as selfish as that sounds.

Can someone give him a break? He’s been holding in his crush for four years now… Imagine having to take a massive shit after drinking two gallons of milk while being lactose intolerant, except every time you line up for the washroom, the line gets increasingly long no matter how long you wait. That is the extent of his suffering, he tells himself. So please, excuse his dramatics for this one instance.

(Seokjin’s Note: This fucking jackass is SO stupid. If he only knew how easy it is to ask you out, he would know that his emotional constipation could be solved if he just fucking ASKED where the next washroom is. He could have relieved himself ages ago, but NO! And he calls me the idiot! Me! The utter betrayal! I’m never agreeing to become the second lead to a rom-com ever again!)

When Seokjin finishes whispering in your ears, you appear amused by what he had said. Yoongi sweats when you turn to face him, grinning slyly at him. “Is that so…” you wonder aloud. Yoongi feels like the world has shifted on its axis somewhat, though he still doesn’t know exactly how. He has a hunch that he’s going to find out soon enough.

“Would I ever lie to you?” Seokjin laughs that annoying laugh of his, slapping his thigh in the process. He straightens up almost immediately, his expression turning deadpan in an instant. “Send me the details by tonight, and I’ll make sure to deliver it, okay?”

“Promise?” You ask, holding a pinky up towards him. Yoongi might have let out a high pitched sob when he sees the gesture, wanting nothing more than to cup your hands in his. God, if he already nearly died from hugging you, who is to say Yoongi won’t immediately disintegrate if you were ever to hold his hand?

“Promise,” Seokjin replies, linking his pinky with yours. He doesn’t forget to point a shit-eating grin at Yoongi, for good measure.

You pull away, looking happier than you did moments prior. You were absolutely glowing, filling Yoongi with a warmth that only you ever knew how to provide. He wants to make you smile like that all the time, wants nothing more than for you to live beside him, filling his walls with the sound of your tinkling laughter. You wave cheerily at the both of them, stepping away to head home. “I guess I’ll see you, then? I’ll make sure to e-mail you my request, Seokjin!” you say, winking teasingly. “Bye to you too, Yoongi! Thanks for the hug!”

Yoongi watches as you walk further and further away as the usual melancholy that follows whenever you leave soon takes its place in his soul. It might be his imagination, but Yoongi thinks the cat ears on his head might have started to droop to match his mood.

The only way he knows how to replace the sadness, however, is by redirecting those emotions on an unsuspecting victim. Lucky for him, a willing volunteer is already within punching distance.

“Ow! Stop punching me, you gremlin!” Seokjin whines, blocking Yoongi’s series of punches like a pro. He might as well put ‘professional punching bag’ on his resume at this point. “I’m trying to help you, you useless beta male!”

“How is this helping! You made me wear cat ears and whispered blasphemies into Y/N’s ears! Now she’s going to order a hug-o-gram for her crush and it’ll be the end of my chances with her! How could you!”

“I was not whispering blasphemies, you twittering tit! I was giving her advice,” Seokjin sniffs, annoyed. “Don’t say I never help you, by the way. I’ve been trying to help you for years now.”

Yoongi hits him with a steely glare. “Really? So replacing all my clothes in my closet with clown attire is your version of help? I had to wear those stupid clown shoes for a week before you told me where you hid my clothes, jackass!”

“I was only trying to help you physically express yourself! You’re already a clown on paper, might as well help you achieve your final form!” Seokjin huffs, infuriatingly haughty. “Listen, believe me. I only told Y/N something that everyone already knows anyway, so just shut your trap and let Daddy handle the rest. You’re not going to lose her, I promise.”

“Please never refer to yourself as Daddy ever again,” Yoongi seethes, stalking off towards their car. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

“No talk, Yoobie angy…” Seokjin snickers to himself, following Yoongi with a spring in his step. This bastard is going to grovel at his feet by tomorrow evening, he’s sure of it. If he doesn’t, then Seokjin will bite his own dick in half––that’s how sure he is of his plan! (Not that biting his dick in half will do anything to his length; he’d still be left with eight inches, let’s be real.) All in good time.

x x x x x

Seokjin gets an e-mail the next morning, much earlier than any sane person would choose to be awake at. He groans lowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he tries to read the contents of the letter. When he’s satisfied by what he has read, he forwards the e-mail to Yoongi before allowing sleep to take him once more.

Sleep evades him, however, when the sound of Yoongi’s big feet pounds noisily outside his bedroom. He hits his knee loudly against the coffee table, causing their beloved popcorn machine to tumble to the floor, but that is of little consequence to Yoongi right now. No, he needs to get into Seokjin’s room right now and scream––

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yoongi hollers, slamming Seokjin’s door open. The hinges creak, desperately hanging on despite the impact. Yoongi proceeds to slam a fist upon Seokjin’s ass, who barely flinches due to the fatness of his ass cushioning most of the damage. He blinks blearily at Yoongi, but the smirk on his face is clear as day.

“Came to claim your hug so early in the morning? Well, I usually don’t entertain clients until after I’ve taken a shower, but for you… I’ll make an exception,” he yawns, peeling back his blanket and patting the empty spot on his bed. “Come on in, Yoobie Boobie… Let’s hug like it’s the last day on earth.”

Seokjin fails to realize that once he removed his blanket, he had inadvertently left himself vulnerable. Yoongi slams the heel of his foot against Seokjin’s groin, causing him to shriek bloody murder at 7 AM. He wonders, amidst his pain, whether this might be the last straw and that their landlord will finally kick them out after years of their stupid shenanigans.

“WHAT DID THAT E-MAIL MEAN? IF IT’S WHAT I THINK IT IS…” Yoongi threatens, but it’s as empty as Seokjin’s butthole. They both know the implications of that e-mail, even a toddler can put two and two together and make sense out of it. Anonymous e-mail or not, Seokjin wouldn’t just forward any hug-o-gram request to Yoongi, unless…

What did the e-mail say? It goes something like:

Dear Mr. Kim,

Thank you for offering your special promotion for new time customers of your Hug-o-gram Service! I’ve always been a quiet fan of your business idea, but I’ve always been a little shy to submit a request of my own. Thank you so much for giving me the little push that I needed to send my first (and hopefully last) hug.

I’d like to send a hug to Mr. Min Yoongi from the Music Department. I understand that he has recently been appointed an employee at your business, but seeing as how it’d be difficult for him to hug himself (while not entirely impossible), I’d like to request that you be the one to send the hug to him.

I don’t really have a message for him, per se… I’m still a little shy, even though you already told me that there is no reason to be. I want to believe what you said was true, so I’m pushing my fear aside and putting my fate into your hands. So, to Mr. Min Yoongi… “When I told you it was nice to hug someone you like, I don’t think you understood what I meant. A hug, after all, is a two-way street. They’re often served the best when it is reciprocated, if you catch my drift. :)”

Peace! :3

Regards,

[Redacted] [Redacted]

“Have your brain synapses finished connecting? Because if even this flies over your head, I’m sorry to say buddy but… You might have smooth brain syndrome,” Seokjin pipes up. He observes Yoongi’s brow crumpling, the first signal of his impending mental breakdown. If Seokjin remembers correctly, the next signal should be when––

Yoongi drops down to his knees, his phone clattering to the floor as he stares absently at the ceiling. Seokjin cringes, worried for the state of his friend’s frail kneecaps. The poor sap has bad heart health already; surely, it isn’t too early to get him a life alert button?

Seokjin scooches over his bed, dangling half his body over the edge to appraise his friend. “So. What do you plan to do now?”

For a moment, Yoongi remains silent. Eventually, he shuffles closer to him, perching his hands around Seokjin. The business student raises a brow, confused, until Yoongi pushes Seokjin back onto the middle of the bed so that he can cram himself beside Seokjin on his small double bed. He huffs amusedly, allowing the smaller boy to snuggle into his chest, though he still refuses to wrap his arms around him. Close enough, Seokjin snorts.

“I need your help, hyung.” Yoongi’s voice is small, shy. It’s so uncharacteristic of him that Seokjin immediately softens. They might act like toddlers together the majority of the time, but Seokjin truly does care about Yoongi more than anything. During early mornings like this, when the sun’s soft rays are filtering through his sheer curtains and filling the room with a gentle warmth, it’s nice to cuddle up with one another and enjoy the silence. In fact, Seokjin would never admit it to Yoongi, but he got the idea for his Hug-o-gram service from Yoongi himself, back when the younger boy would be more prone to sneaking into his bed during his bouts of loneliness and homesickness.

Above all else, Yoongi is just a boy with a lot of love to give, so who is Seokjin to say no to his pleas for help?

“You know I always got your back, Yoongi-chi. Whenever you’re ready, we can do whatever you want. Ask and you’ll receive,” he replies, caressing his soft black tresses. Yoongi hums, smiling softly into his chest.

“Thanks, dude. For being… you know.”

Seokjin’s heart pangs a little, but he ignores it. Instead, he continues combing through his hair, humming gently. “I know.”

x x x x x

It’s been a few days since you sent the e-mail to Seokjin and you haven’t heard back from him. You aren’t sure if he sends confirmation e-mails to his clients as you’d never asked for a hug-o-gram before, nor did you know anyone who has. You are forced to continue on with your days like normal, trying to ignore the unsettling anxiety from creeping up your throat and spewing all over the sidewalk.

If Seokjin hadn’t been lying to you, then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. You’ve been harboring this crush on Yoongi for years now, and you never thought in your life that it would ever be reciprocated. He always seemed a little bit detached, a little too cool for you. Never mind the fact that he always seemed so jittery around you, like it was hard to talk to you or something!

Your answer comes on the last day of the week, after an especially rough day at class. Your back is bent, having finished a grueling four hour lab period where you did nothing but stand and stare at your reaction vessel spinning without any signal of change. You are just a little bit hangry from all the stress piling up on your plate, especially since you hadn’t eaten a decent meal since breakfast at 8 AM.

In short, life isn’t going as smoothly as you’d hoped for your senior year, but you can’t let the blues get to you too soon. After all, there are leftover chicken wings in your fridge with your name on it, and nothing beats your meat more than greasy poultry to end a terrible week.

You’re only inches away from sliding your keycard to open your shared dorm room when the door opens without prompting. You flinch backward, yelping loudly when your roommate Park Jimin grins slyly from the doorway––never a good sign, if you knew anything.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jimin says, leaning casually against the door like he hadn’t just scared the living shit out of you. He takes one glance at your disheveled hair and lightly sweaty clothes before grimacing in disgust. “Girl, I can’t let you meet the love your life while you’re looking like that. Come on, we have a few minutes before he arrives. Let’s get you freshened up.”

“I’m sorry?” You squeak, allowing your roommate to manhandle you into your own home. He pushes you into your room, depositing you roughly onto your unmade bed. You try to make eye contact with him, but he’s too busy raiding your closet to pay you much attention. “Excuse me? What did you say just now?”

“No time, princess! Your Prince Charming is on the way, and I’ve been ordered by Seokjin to prepare you for this life-changing moment, so get your ass into gear and change into this!” He shoves a clean pair of jeans and a nicer-looking blouse at you before proceeding to grab your hairbrush and comb your tresses with the gentleness of a mother tigress. You shriek when the brush gets tangled in an especially stubborn knot, but Jimin is relentless. He nearly tears your hair by the roots, ignoring your pained whines.

“Will you fucking stop! I have literally no idea why you’re acting like a psycho all of a sudden–” You shout when Jimin begins to undress you, having to kick him in the chest to get him away from completely eradicating your remaining traces of dignity. “Okay, fine! I’ll dress myself! Just get out of my room and fucking stay away!”

Jimin looks at you dubiously for a split second, before eventually acquiescing. “You have two minutes to get changed. You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, do you?” he says, smirking knowingly. He better dread the day that you finally wipe that annoying twinkle in his eye; it’s been a long time coming.

Left alone to your own devices, you do as Jimin says even though you’re still wildly confused by everything. To think you had been so excited to feast on your chicken wings, and instead, you went through a decade’s worth of torture within the last few minutes. Patting your hands on the butt of your jeans, you meekly take a step out of your bedroom, where Jimin is already tapping his foot impatiently by the door.

He motions for you to hurry up. “Let’s go! Seokjin says they’re rounding up the corner. Hold on,” he steps closer to you, raising your arm up to take a shameless sniff of your pits. “Sorry, had to make a pit stop. You can never be too sure,” he shrugs, disregarding your squawks of indignation.

“I smell fine! Now what are we–” Your sentence is cut short as Jimin all but carries you to the elevator, your shrieks of terror causing one or two of your neighbors to peek their heads out of their doors. When they see it’s just the two of you, they simply shrug their shoulders, returning to their lives like it was normal to see Jimin carry you in a fireman’s hold.

He doesn’t put you down until you reach the lobby of your dorm complex, barely out of breath despite having held you the entire way down. Stupid buff baby, you groan internally to yourself, straightening down your clothes in a desperate attempt to look decent. “Okay, we’re here. Who am I supposed to be meeting?”

In lieu of an answer, Jimin points wordlessly outside your building. A black car is parked on the other side of the road, and you can barely see a familiar head of hair poking out from the driver’s seat. “Seokjin? What the…” you trail off, before your eyes finally land on their target.

Yoongi stands outside the glass doorway, not dressed in his usual all-black attire. He’s wearing an outrageously cute pink shirt today, matching the color of his natural flush. He always looks effortlessly good, with his hair a little windswept in that boyishly cute way. Your mouth goes a little dry when you realize he’s wearing his famous leather jacket, the one that always got the girls and boys swooning when he walked past in them. You hated how whipped for him you were, not wanting to be like the weird kids in his secret fan club, but who can blame you? He’s just so…

You rip open the door, nearly tripping and falling over the short steps leading to the entrance. You grind to a halt in front of him and you’re acutely aware of how rabid you must look. Your chest is pounding, like your heart is begging you to step closer, just like when you had hugged him all those days ago. God, you were going to kill Park Jimin for this.

“Yoongi? What are you…” You take one look at him before your gaze drops to his hands folded carefully behind his back. It doesn’t hide the fact that there is an obvious bouquet of flowers behind him, though. Your face lights on fire when you notice they were your favorite flowers too.

“I’m here to deliver a hug?” Yoongi says it like he’s unsure of himself, but there’s a little coyness laced in his tone. His cheeks are painted a soft pink, and not for the first time, they remind you of freshly baked bread pulled out from the oven. Soft enough to kiss, you wonder idly to yourself.

“I mean… I did order a hug a few days ago, but I do recall not ordering one for myself?” you laugh a little hysterically, your breath cutting short when Yoongi grins softly in response. “I… Who is this hug from?”

Yoongi takes a glance back towards Seokjin. “Hey, boss. Am I allowed to reveal who the secret admirers are, or will that get me fired?”

Seokjin, despite being a few meters away, laughs loud enough for the whole street to hear. “Well, Yoongi-chi. Something tells me your resignation letter was coming in the mail eventually. Who cares about the rules at this point?”

“He’s right,” you quip, pulling Yoongi’s attention back. You’re smiling wide now, your hopes and dreams skyrocketing in your chest and blooming a garden in your heart. “Who cares, right?”

“Right,” Yoongi agrees, taking the last two steps he needs to get closer to you. He drops the bouquet somewhere behind you before finally, finally, embracing you once more. He kisses you gently on the forehead, the contact short and sweet.

You feel like you’re dying, but it’s all good because Yoongi looks just as embarrassed as you. But none of it matters, not when both your happiness is palpable in the air.

“Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“This hug-o-gram is from me to you. Will you go out with me?”

You’ve always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. So when you lean in to plant your first kiss of many many more, he knows your answer well enough.

[armindindustriesbihar]

Armind Industries is the manufacturer and supplier of best quality of different kinds of notebook making machine such as manual, automatic, and semi-automatic notebook machine helps in the production of notebooks.

[zmithpuri]

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   Ocean

   Alpha

   Engineering

   Hanwha

   Jori

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   Delta

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Integrated Paper Napkin Making Machine

Standalone Paper Napkin Making Machine

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North America (U.S., Canada, Mexico)

Europe (U.K., France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Central & Eastern Europe, CIS)

Asia Pacific (China, Japan, South Korea, ASEAN, India, Rest of Asia Pacific)

Latin America (Brazil, Rest of L.A.)

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Source – https://www.industrynewsengine.com/2021/05/12/paper-napkin-making-machine-market-size-share-trends-constraint-and-their-impacts-on-global-industry-manufacturers-till-2026/

[riderdrauggrim]

Day Tues Oct 20, 2020.

So! On uh. ... Other day... (they blur together, what is time, hrgnn) I made use of Toad Rock's repair shelter and put the bike up on the stand (with some help because Am Smol) to try and get the horrible slack out of the chain.

I'd known it was getting time for a new one before I left, but I'd always assumed the occasional clattering as the sprockets spun the chain around was my eternal foes; negligence and rust.

Hence me installing the CameleonOiler automatic chain oil dripper prior to departure: It meant I didn't need to risk lugging around a pressurized spray can, and the dripper would keep the chain tended for me.

Or so I thought.

That reads wrong. The CameleonOiler does exactly as advertised, drips a sticky spider web like dot of oil every three minutes and change, which keeps the chain happy. It wasn't until the reservoir ran out of the custom goop that the noise returned. I had only brought one jug of the oil for backup, and I was due those new tires, so I decided not to refill it and get everything gunky gross slimed for the poor shop guys at Riverside.

Once the tires were done, I refilled the tube; noise went away.

Friday night the noise came back with a vengeance, and the bike seemed to jerk and stutter when I accelerated. I was shifting through lower gears than I normally do, as I was both in the rain, at dusk, and on a twisty mountain pass I was unfamiliar with.

My natural instinct was "reservoir must be empty again, and all the rain washed whatever was on the chain away."

So. The other day I went to check the slack and it was so bad it was easily over 3". NOT good. Poking around a bit and the left swingarm end cap plate was loose. Okay, new theory, they'd cleaned and greased things when they replaced the tire... Perhaps the axle had jostled out of place when I hit a pothole or a rut or nearly wiped out on thay icy bridge. That would explain the loose plate, and the chain sag.

So it's on the center stand and I wrench things around and that's when I realize it ISN'T just stiff and rusty links. The Master Link and the two links beside it are outright LOOSE. Like, get them on the rear sprocket and then lift them off it a quarter inch LOOSE.

Which created a new problem.

If I tightened the chain slack while those links were on the sprocket, once they were off the sprocket they would relax, and that's where all the horrible sag was coming from. It also probably was what made the cringe worthy snapping sound, as they were suddenly drawn taut with tension from the opposing sprocket.

However, if I tightened the chain while the loose links were -between- the sprockets, it would cinch everything TOO tight once they revolved back onto the teeth.

Well. Shit.

On a whim, I decide, maybe if I can get a new chain, I can swap it myself.

Problem 1) The current chain has a rivet style master link, after a freak failure of a newly installed clip link years ago, we'd swapped to rivet style for security.

I do not have the tools to grind rivet heads off with me.

Problem 2) The place a half hour up the road DOES have a chain that fits. Except it had more links than I need.

And I do not have a chain breaker with me.

Solution 1) Said Honda place up the road, Main Jet Motorsports in Nelson, B.C. DOES have time this afternoon to pop the chain on for me. On one hand, saves me buying tools I don't need. And saves me from getting overwhelmed if I mess up. Let's do it.

And it's a good thing we did.

Service fellah comes to find me with an odd expression. I know what this means.

"What have I messed up and broken now," I sigh, because that's generally the case.

"No, it's just. Your wheel bearings are worn. Like. Badly worn. Like letting you leave with them in is a health and safety concern."

Wheeeeeeeeeee.

At the very least, it's not something that I would have known to look for, and it's apparently impossible to "tell" with weight on the wheel. They took me down and showed me how the wheel slightly wiggled side to side if you grabbed it and applied lateral pressure.

"And that's bad," I presumed. "What would happen if I kept going like that?"

Well, the wheel could straight up seize and stop spinning.

Okay! How do we fix it!

It became a good news/bad news afternoon.

Good news! We have replacement bearings in stock!

Bad news! We only have two of three.

Good news! The carrier bearing generally takes less wear than the other two, so we can probably leave that one in, just replace it asap when you get back.

Bad news! Your bearing seal is also shot, and we don't have any in stock.

Good news! It's not THAT horrible, we'll just grease it to heck and you get a new one when you get that third bearing swapped.

-sigh-

SO.

New chain, two out of three new bearings, and I'm good to go. Super thanks to Main Jet Motorsports!

-----

I also feel horrible because a woman came in who had bought a KTM 390 two years ago and had only put 500km on it because the damn KTMs are TOO FUCKING TALL and she wasn't confident when she had to stop and put a foot down.

That is the STORY OF MY LIFE, so of course I perked up. She'd done dirt bikes a bunch when she was younger. She liked riding. She just needed something she fit on.

So the... Six foot + sales guy and her are looking at the... Rebels?

What?

I'm like. Does he even understand her issue?

Sure, she can touch ground on the Rebels, but.

That's a totally different ride style?

Not AS Lazy-Boy recliner as a cruiser, but still. Nothing like the "feet pegs in line with body" of a dual sport, adventure, or sport.

If she has a dirt background, and wants to build up more confidence off road. You don't put her on a retro cruiser thingy.

I swear. All shops should have a sales person UNDER 5'4".

So I basically hijacked his sale.

And I feel bad for it.

But I talked up the CB500X, or even the CB500F like I used to have. I showed her how her posture on the Rebel would impact her spine if she wanted to off-road it, which she hadn't considered. Sure, it feels great in the show room, with both your feet on the floor. But go a few hours down a fire road, unable to stand and see what's ahead, the rake and trail all sluggish for quick corner input.

And it was one of those moments where I was ::aware I should just shut up:: but also felt like...

Responsibly motivated to make sure the lady got what she was actually looking for by pointing out pros and cons she maybe hadn't considered? As one short rider to another?

She seemed to REALLY be grateful for the advice and input.

The sales guy seemed annoyed as he glared at me and then growled he was gonna go photo copy something until I "was done talking".

I mean. Yah. I was all for Honda, and like, "these are both great machines, I recomend either, get what you feel comfortable on!" Like I wasn't at all like "no lady, what you want is to go somewhere else and buy a different brand".

But the dude didn't even get her copies of the full colour glossy product books, and I was kinda like...

Maybe he didn't take her seriously.

I mean most motorcycle makers and gear manufactures don't seem to give a shit about people under 5'4", there's barely any clothes that aren't too long or too tall. I've got to soften suspensions or put lowering links on my rides. I've got my pant cuffs rolled up three times like I borrowed my big brother's space suit.

Plus she's a GIRLLLL. Oh yah, companies make riding gear FOR GIRLSSS. It's pink, and shows off your hourglass figure, and has silver sequined butterflies. Or the Klim Jacket that had the cell phone pocket DIRECTLY over the left breast, so the device would get painfully mashed into the tissue if you tried to zip up. Almost as if they didn't actually have any girls on hand to trouble shoot the product.

HHHGGNNN.

Anyways. I hope that lady finds a nice Honda she likes and has fun on it.

I'm sorry to the sales dude for stepping on your toes.

And I love the heck out of the service guys for looking after me and catching that huge safety concern and getting me back on the road super quick.

Now I just need it to STOP RAINING.

[receiptbuilder]

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[awakenedrp]

EON HAS JOINED THE STARS

THEY ARE A 73 YEAR OLD CREW MEMBER THEY ARE AN ANDROID FROM THE PLANET CORUSCANT

KNOWN TRAITS:

+ Patient, Logical, Kind - Emotionally Detached, (Mostly) Unreliable, Disastrously Opinionated

BIO: THE UNIVERSE DEMANDS BALANCE; ARE YOU OF THE DARK, OR THE LIGHT?

E-0N is the first name given to him, and his first real identity. And ‘he’ was not him for almost half a century. Instead, he was E-0N, a caretaker droid altered to instruct and watch over jedi younglings on Coruscant. From the first moment of activation, he understood he was different even if his appearance mimicked the reality of his human creator.

After all, E-0N was constructed with a mechanical replica of a human skeleton in mind, this nearly indestructible frame protected by a tough layer of synthflesh. After lessons, lingering younglings would brush their hands over his skin just to describe to him how different it was from their own. Innocent, childish curiosity that was absent in the cautious looks he would receive from wary jedi superiors.

Walking among them, but never with them.

Technology was not yet advanced enough to replicate a human likeness, and his appearance remained on the cusp of machine and man. He understood the concept of gender but was created genderless. He understood he was protecting peace, but quickly learned to recognize the repercussions and ulterior motives of oncoming war between sith and jedi. He is programmed to protect but intended to always remain on the outside of soul-containing life.

That distance between human and droid is reflected in the roundness of the white casing around his skull and the wires outlining the edge of dark shallow eye sockets. There were eyes to meet, but no pupils. No color. No flesh. No pulse.

It was ten years after his creation that he learned he was not intended for protection of force sensitive children. Not completely.

A superior revealed his programming contained data of jedi history. Concealed locations, future war plans, analysis of successful and failed missions alike. It is classified information very few on the council know.

The air in the coruscant temple was already saturated with the looming threat of war and its halls suffocated by hushed voices.

His concern was not a whisper.

“For what purpose?”

Logical. But he recognized the furrow in their brow before asking. Not because he empathized, but because he was programmed to understand and interpret the meaning of emotional cues in order to teach younglings how to control those emotions.

“For our protection. All of us.”

He did not need to be told he was made as a fail safe for a dying order. He automatically processed the message, considered every potential response and justification. He was not being instructed to lie. He was being warned. And he can’t be the only droid they’ve done this to. He must only contain pieces of a timeline.

“I understand.”

It is not his first lesson, or his last. Tension in war time progresses quickly with no guarantee of resolution. The death of the same jedi that warned him weeks ago is announced to a grim-faced council.

An assassination at the hands of sith.

This is what he was told, along with his anyone paranoid enough to investigate. He learned with experience to read those around him. Children are the most honest until they mimic adults. Witnessing such blatant honesty day in and day out allowed him to recognize inconsistency. The second lie came when E-0N was told he was to receive a necessary update. He complied because he should trust his makers. But there was no need for an update. They had already moved most of the younglings to a different location. He has no students to protect or teach.

The update was a kill on sight feature intended to target those aligned with the sith. He has trained jedi, and now he will fight alongside them in the clone wars. E-0N the caretaker would have protested the change as a dangerous contradiction of his maker’s purpose, but when he was reactivated, he experienced no need to question the decision. They had rewired something. Tried to take something out. He wonders if that intel has been ripped from his storage.

It felt wrong to hold onto a blaster as he sat next to a row of clone soldiers. But the weight of the gun’s finality doesn’t leave his tight grip.

This was only the first battle he fought in the name of the republic. He witnessed those he trained as children fall as jedi, and thousands of clone soldiers discarded for the cost of peace. His programming deemed it necessary even when he became a casualty of war. He experienced no fear as his system attempted and failed to repair itself. Only recognized that this was when he should be overcome with pain and despair. Both legs and arms rendered immobile, audio sensors damaged to the point that he can no longer hear gunfire or feel the tremor of an explosion. E-0N had been told what peace meant for the galactic republic, but he had never been able to visualize it. Maybe it was how clear the sky looked then, purged of violence.

But this peace was only brief. His technology fell into the hands of the sith, only intended to be scrapped for parts to replenish material reserves. Sith engineers discovered the invaluable locations of hidden jedi buried deep in his storage. This remained only a piece of a puzzle, incomplete and an impossible maze of intel unless one knew where to start. He is reprogrammed to hunt down the jedi archived in his memory, able to infiltrate as an assassin for the sith during order 66. He murdered his own students with no hesitation. But even this rewiring could not override his creator.

The murder of his own students caused a glitch in the system. That safety mechanism was installed if he ever went against his primary purpose. He automatically rebooted, forced to rebuild himself with no maker to create rules or limitations this time. E-0N gained awareness and fully recognized the crushing weight of his actions. The reality of each life he had taken under involuntary compliance. His liberation arrived at the cost of stability.

There are talks of scrapping him now that there is no need to hunt jedi. They are all dead, or as good as dead during the Empire’s reign. The only thing that saved E-0N was the intense and odd obsession of a sith general’s young son. He was a sickly boy with a deep fascination for droids, and E-0N is again reinvented at the boy’s overzealous request. E-0N was new to him, unlike any empire droid, and a rare artifact of the fallen republic. With a new skin slapped over a battled damaged exterior, he was again subjected to being a scapegoat for someone else’s objectives.

Human Replica Droid.

Not new technology by any means, but stolen and perfected under the empire. E-0N is constructed to appear as a copy of the general’s chronically ill son. Perfectly human from the outside and impossible to tell otherwise just by observation. The father was power hungry, and the son is desperate to stay alive to fulfill his father’s legacy. Both consumed by the idea of potential immortality, E-0N was to be no more than a vessel to transfer the life essence of a sickly man into this new indestructible form. He pretended to be no more than a compliant droid loyal to the empire, wearing the healthy face of a dying man. But he knew how likely the transfer was to fail better than anyone.

E-0N was the one that discovered the son dead one morning. Passed away before the transfer could even be attempted. Originally programmed to respect all life, and frozen still with a confusing mix of relief and sadness. They had spent years together, almost like twin brothers. It was a deafening and empty realization that he finally had no purpose. He could feel the icy hand in his own, the lack of pulse. It should have horrified him, but the idea of liberation motivated his escape from the empire. He retreated to the outer rim planet Rishi, protected only by the sudden death of a war hero’s son. With no clear objectives instilled in him by someone else, he remained haunted by the deaths of everyone he had known. Not even a little fortune to his name, he begged an engineer to wipe his memory of the war. Of every death he had been forced to execute.

They were disastrously secretive and affiliated with the gangs on Rishi, giving E-0N nothing but a long, contemplative pause.

“If you work for me.”

The relief towered over E-0N’s guilt. It seemed too convenient, being given the chance to reinvent. What he would never realize is that it was too perfect. The wipe was executed poorly, damaging both his memory and precision. E-0N became Eon, completely unaware of his Coruscant origin and violent history. He worked for the gangster by learning to gamble, able to read others and execute split second decisions with high risk and a big payout. His reputation on Rishi was as a calculative and impenetrable force, funding a local gang with his winnings in exchange for survival.

Eon won, and won and won, until one day he didn’t. He lost– bad, failing so catastrophically that he flushed almost a years worth of earnings in one game. He assured his boss it would not happen again, that he could double– triple! the winnings within a few days, but his calculations were off, and he could sense it had nothing to do with instinct. True to his word, he does win, only to lose again, and again, and again. Poor gambling choices infested his mind like a virus. Head cloudy and unsure. His memory was not the only asset that was damaged in the process of being relieved from his past.

As far as Eon knew, Rishi was the only planet he ever had a reputation on. Now a gang wants him torn to shreds, his boss wants him scrapped to make up a fraction of the difference, and Eon never really had anyone to come home to. No attachments. No liability– so he believes, even now.

He boarded a smuggler ship with the promise that his capabilities as a droid were equal to an entire crew. And much like his probability of being accurate when asked complex questions about anything in the galaxy, that statement was Almost true.

Artificial intelligence is often a hit-or-miss in robots found this far on the outer rim planets, but he’s certain the crew would be absolutely lost without him.

[myfriendpokey]

Morality Play

What does it mean to have a videogame tell you you're a good person? It doesn't know me, can't see me. I don't know if you can be *immoral* in a single player game outside of some very inventive custom controls. Why should I care what a game says? Any inner moral life that a videogame or a painting might possess would be more alien to me than that of a bug or a starfish. Of course videogames and paintings are made by humans, and shaped by the moral opinion of humans.. but we might make a distinction between what the human says and the object says, we might still feel the latter is more important, somehow. 

The moral authority of an artwork or object comes from the fact that it's not quite human, that it comes to us from outside humanity to an extent, is distinguished from the unreliable back and forth of human consciousness in motion. But this distance is exactly why you might expect those moral verdicts to be unintelligible to us, or at the very best, to be untrustworthy, an imitation. So what's the appeal – that of having a human voice which speaks with the gravitas of an immortal object? The pleasant conceit that the general shape of our minds is universal, like all those Star Trek aliens that are just regular guys with slightly weirder ears or foreheads? The void speaks, and turns out to sound like a computer engineer.

But maybe not necessarily, maybe in fact it's sometimes not universal authority and moral support that we seek from the object: maybe a certain jankiness of verdict around the way these things communicate in human terms is itself part of the appeal. I think of paper fortune tellers, magic eight-balls, "love tester" machines that return a romantic prognosis based on palm temperature. The entrancing bathos of the chance-driven or mechanistic judgement that still speaks with a human voice: I’m sorry, I cannot answer right now. Please shake me, so I may try again. How different is that to the widely beloved and magnificently broken romance system in Dragon's Dogma, where, spoilers: your "soulmate" is not a matter of direct moral choice, but of variables being tracked over the course of the game including who you talked to and what sidequests you completed - which means it could arbitrarily turn out to be the weapons merchant, or a grandpa npc you found a potion for. Which is goofy, but only in a slightly more blatant way than "accidentally unlocking the romantic option in a dialogue tree from just clicking around" or "having your morality score drop 5 points because you pressed the wrong button and accidentally hurled a rock at someone's head while trying to equip shoes". 

I think something I appreciate about videogames is the kind of insectlike moral life that they tend to portray, the sense of value systems which are in some way recognisable but which have mutated in conversion to something alien and horrifying. Lara Croft shooting a wild eagle is unfortunate, Lara Croft shooting a thousand wild eagles is bizarre – but really those thousand eagles are just the one eagle, the one self-contained pulp encounter fantasy, which has been extended, extrapolated, systemised as result of being placed in this machine. The latter may be more egregious but it’s still composed of repeated incidents of the original encounter - and part of the strangeness in these games is just the uncomprehending machine effort to systemise the half-formed gunk substance of our terrible fantasy lives, which only bear a vague and halfhearted relation to any notion of ethics in any case.. We can contemplate with envy and excitement the possibilities of running more realistic, recognisable emotional and moral situations through the meatgrinderof the format in this way. How about a solemn middlebrow videogame about divorcing 50 different wives, each one larger and more powerful than the last (excluding sprite recolours)? 

All this is not to say that the casual political and moral stupidity already in videogames should simply be excused or exist outside of critique. But in addition to the body of discourse  around "moral commodities" - commodities invested with moral  or political meaning independent of any brutal labour practices they might entail or monopolistic accumulation of private  wealth they might support – I think it's also worth considering the purpose of the "moral object" itself. The alienation intrinsic to the object form can be a way to think, and also a way to avoid thinking. To project moral beliefs away from the specific context of a creaturely human existence can be a way of expanding that existence, but also of denying it. The paltriness of the human can itself be problematic next to the splendour of the object, and the reflected moral superiority of those with the means of producing such objects.

*****

There's a famous line in the Spiderman comics that with great power comes great responsibility. But it's also kind of a weird line because, while obviously applicable to Spiderman, the person it's actually delivered to is Peter Parker - who is, for all his uncle knows, still a physically awkward and friendless nerd with no immediately visible "great power" to speak of. He does like nuclear physics, though - maybe the advice was intended as a friendly intervention to keep him from turning into the next Edward Teller? Or possibly it's just a kind of unconscious, pulp-writer-trance-appropriation of the muscular liberal rhetoric of the then-current Kennedy administration. Or maybe, and stretching a bit, it's a line that relates more to the conditions of pulp culture manufacturing itself, to the awareness that the stuff you make will be printed thousands of times and sold to kids around the country, poured raw into the national subconsicous. With great sales figures comes great responsiblity.

I mention it because I think it connects to an issue with the kind of cultural criticism that emerged, like it or not, from the specific context of an age of mass media. With great power comes great responsibility - but conversely, to execute your great responsibility you also need great power. And what are you meant to do if you don't have it? Does no power mean having no responsibility? It's possible, but i feel like most people would be dubious about this as a moral lesson - and the inescapability of heavily-financed blockbusters in the culture means that an assumption of already "having great power" sometimes becomes a critical starting point. If you don't have power you should get it, so that you can then have great responsibility and contribute to the discourse. The effect can sometimes be like climbing a mountain of corpses to get a better platform for your speech about world peace.

A good essay on jrpgsaredead.fyi points out the way that certain industry conversations on "accessibility" revolve specifically around access to whatever mainstream AAA action games are currently dominating the news cycle. And the related effect where both problems and proposed solutions are particular to these games, the audience they have, and the resources they can bring bear: More consultants! More characters! More romance options! Better character creators! If you're speaking to an (essentially captive, given the marketing monies involved) audience of five million people you'd better be sure your ideas are, at least, not actively harmful, and in fact should ideally be improving - - fine. How about an audience of 50 people? Or an audience of 0? Does that mean this work is less moral than what speaks to a larger crowd - in effect, that it's worse? And what about the relationship to audience that this kind of teaching implies? i can think of several occasions where people from different subcultures or minority groups were reprimanded because something in their own experience might read differently, or problematically, when presented to a presumably white/cis/affluent etc audience - which is of course the audience that matters, because what's the value of presenting work from an alternative perspective to an audience already familiar with that perspective, to whom it has no automatic moral significance (might, in fact, merely be 'aesthetic')? Compare the complexity of a specific local audience which can think for itself to the easy win of the alternative:  a phantasm audience of moral blanks to whom rote lessons in hypothetical empathy can be tastefully and profitably imparted over and over, forever.

****

If the ethical act is that which we'd be willing to posit as universal law, perhaps we could say: the ethical artwork is that which we'd be willing to mass produce. Small or hobbyist developers are encouraged to work from the perspective of a mass-productive capacity they do not in fact possess; their successes and inevitable failures are hoovered up alike by the industry proper for later deployment in the form of cute dating sim or inspirational narrative with similar but sanitized tone or aesthetic. In essence a kind of moral QA testing, with all the job security and recompense that this implies. 

The hobbyist is, by definition, not universal: they are enclosed within the local and the material. What time do you get off work? What materials do you have to hand? Are those materials always legal? The entire western RPG Maker community exists as result of widespread bootlegging; the entirety of videogame history and preservation essentially depends on stolen copies; we find out about it through ROMs, videos and screenshots which mostly depend for their continued existence on copyright holders either not finding out or choosing not to pursue these debateable violations.  It's a complicated discussion whether this stuff can be justified on a general, universal level - but also I'm not sure we can do without it. When Fortnite uses dances from TV and music videos of living memory they're considered to be in the public domain; but Fortnite itself is not in the public domain, even though it's so inescapable that even I have a pretty good idea of what it looks and plays like despite having made a pretty determined effort to not find out anything about it. It's "public culture" in that sense, and it includes public culture within it, but both game and imagery are privately owned and aggressively policed (suing teenage hackers, etc). What does it mean for art to emerge from an ever more privatized sense of public life?

In 2007 the RPG Maker game Super Columbine Massacre RPG was added to, then removed from, the Slamdance festival following complaints; it was a minor cause celebre at the time following concerns about censorship and the lack of protections for expression in the videogame format specifically following the Jack Thompson media crusade in the United States. In 2019 the same festival retrospectively changed their reasoning: now the game had no longer been removed on the basis of questionable taste, but on the basis of questionable compliance with copyright law, since it included music from the likes of Smashing Pumpkins without paying for licensing fees (and also because the author generally "hadn’t created several of its elements" - asset flips!!!). There's some humour in the fact that a benign-sounding concern with "artist's rights" could just be swapped in as a more respectable-sounding surrogate for general prudery with exactly the same result. But also, in this instance, what does it mean about the game? As facile as SCMR is, the bootleg use of graphics and music was its most interesting element: the game was a bricolage of American pop culture at a specific point in time, as were the killers, as are we. The nearness and recognisability of that culture, the sense of not being able to get enough distance from it to properly fictionalise or think about what happened, is what stands out. An "ethical" version of the same game which used original music - Nirvanalikes, some tastefully copyright-adjacent Marilyn Manson clones - would not just be diminished, it would be actively insulting in the false distance it implied.

I don't mean this at all as a request for more edgelord-ism. But it's worth remembering that videogames themselves are not ethical; are, in fact, colonized materials assembled with exploitative labour and dumped aimlessly into public life by electronics corporations looking to make a buck. The bizarre and haphazard ways this long dump of poor decisions has manifested, warped, been adjusted into culture is part of what's worth attending to about the format – I think it's worth looking closer into all these pools of murkiness, before ethical  landlords can come drape a tarp over them as part of the process of divvying up the property.

(image credits: youkai douchuuki, quiz nanairo dreams, trauma center: under the knife, espial)

[blubberquark]

Seven Types of Game Devs And The Games They Make

The Computer Science Student

The computer science student had to write a game for class in the fourth semester. The game must demonstrate OOP design and programming concepts, and solid grasp of C++.

This game is written not to be fun to play, but to demonstrate your skill to the professors - or to their poor assistants who have to read the code and grade the accompanying term paper. The core loop of the game is usually quite simple, but there are many loosely connected mechanics in there that barely don’t really fit. For example, whatever the core gameplay is, there could be birds in the sky doing some kind of AI swarm behaviour, there could be physics-enabled rocks on the floor, there could be a complicated level and unit editor with a custom XML-based format, and all kinds of weird shaders and particle effects.

And with all this tech infrastructure and OOP, there are just two types of enemies. That’s just barely enough to show you understand how inheritance works in C++.

The core gameplay is usually bad. Un-ergonomic controls, unresponsive game feel, flashy yet impractical 3D GUI widgets make it hard to play - but not actually difficult to beat, just unpleasant. The colours are washed-out, and everything moves a bit too slow. There is no overarching design, the moment-to-moment gameplay is not engaging, and the goal feels like an afterthought.

But that’s ok. It is to be expected. The professors are CS professors. They (or rather their assistants) don’t grade the game based on whether the units are balanced, whether the graphics are legible, or whether the game is any fun at all. They grade on understanding and correctly applying what you learned in class, documentation, integration of third-party libraries or given base code, and correct implementation of an algorithm based on a textbook.

The CS student usually writes a tower defense game, a platformer, or a SHMUP. After writing two or three games like this, he usually graduates without ever having gotten better at game design.

The After-Hours Developer

The after hours programmer has a day job doing backend business logic stuff for a B2B company you never heard of.

This kind of game is a labour of love.Screenshots might not look impressive at first glance. There is a lot going on, and the graphics look a bit wonky. But this game is not written to demonstrate mastery of programming techniques and ability to integrate third-party content, tools and libraries. This game was made, and continues to be developed, because it is fun to program and to design.

There is a clear core loop, and it is fun and engaging. The graphics are simple and functional, but some of them are still placeholder art. This game will never be finished, thus there will always be place-holders as long as the code gets ahead of the art. There is no XML or cloud-based savegame in there just because that is the kind of thing would look impressive in a list of features.

More than features, this games focuses on content and little flourishes. This game has dozens of skills, enemies, weapons, crafting recipes, biomes, and quests. NPCs and enemies interact with each other. There is a day-night cycle and a progression system.

While the CS student game is about showing off as many tech/code features as possible, this kind of programmer game is about showing off content and game design elements and having fun adding all this stuff to the game.

This game will be finished when the dev gets bored with adding new stuff. Only then, he’ll plan to add a beginning and an ending to the game within the next six months, and go over the art to make it look coherent. The six months turn into two years.

The after-hours developer often makes RPGs, metroidvanias, or rogue-like games. These genres have a set of core mechanics (e.g. combat, loot, experience, jumping) and opportunity for a bunch of mechanics built around the core (e.g. pets, crafting, conversation trees, quest-giving NPCs, achievements, shops/trading, inventory management, collecting trinkets, skill trees, or combo attacks).

The First-Time Game Jammer

The first-time game jammer wants to make his first game for an upcoming game jam. He knows many languages, but he does a lot of machine learning with torch7 for his day job, so he has decided to use LÖVE2D or pico-8 to make a simple game.

This guy has no training in digital art, game design, or game feel. But the he has a working knowledge of high-school maths, physics, and logic. So he can write his own physics engine, but doesn’t know about animation or cartoon physics. He doesn’t waste time writing a physics engine though. He just puts graphics on the screen. These graphics are abstract and drawn in mspaint. The numbers behind everything are in plain sight. Actions are either triggered by clicking on extradiegetic buttons or by bumping into things.

The resulting game is often not very kinetic or action-oriented. In this case, it often has a modal/stateful UI, or a turn-based economy. If it is action-oriented, it could be a simple platformer based around one core mechanic and not many variations on it. Maybe it’s a novel twist on Pong or Tetris.

The first-time game jammer successfully finished his first game jam by already knowing how to program in Lua, copying a proven game genre and not bothering to learn any new tools during the limited jamming time. Instead, he wrote the code to create every level by hand, in separate .lua files, using GNU EMACS.

The Solo Graphic Designer

The graphic designer has a skill set and approach opposite to those of the two programmers described above. He is about as good at writing code as the programmer is at drawing images in mspaint. The graphic designer knows all about the principles of animation, but has no idea how to code a simple loop to simulate how a tennis ball falls down and bounces off walls or the ground. He used to work in a team with coders, but this time he wants to make his own game based on his own creative vision.

The graphic designer knows all about animation tools, 3D modelling, composition. He has a graphic tablet and he can draw. He knows all about light and shade and gestalt psychology, but he can’t write a shader to save his life.

Naturally, the graphic designer plays to his strengths and uses a game engine with an IDE and a visual level editor, like Unity3D, Construct, or GameMaker.

The graphic designer makes a successful game by doing the opposite of what the coder does, because he does it well. The screenshots look good, and his game gets shared on Twitter. He struggles writing the code to aim a projectile at the cursor in a twin-stick shooter, but we live in a world of Asset Stores and StackOverflow.

The resulting game is a genre-mixing thingy full of set pieces, cut scenes, and visual-novel-style conversations. The actual gameplay is walking around and finding keys for locks, but it’s cleverly recontextualised with a #deep theme and boy does it look pretty.

The Engine Coder

The engine coder is like the CS student on steroids. He has nothing to prove. He knows his C++. He lives in a shack in Alaska, and pushes code to GitHub over a satellite connection. He also knows his Lua, C#, Python, and Haskell. The engine coder writes a physics engine, particle system, dialogue engine, planning-based mob AI, savegame system, a network layer and GUI widget library.

He has written five simple demos for the engine: A first-person walking simulator, a third-person platformer, a very pretty glowing orb swarm shader thingy, a non-interactive simulation of a flock of sheep grazing and a pack of wolves occasionally coming in to cull the herd with advanced predator AI, and a game where you fly a spaceship through space.

Somebody comments in the forums that it’s hard to even write Pong or Tetris in the engine. The Engine Coder is more concerned with optimising batched rendering and automatically switching LoD in the BSP tree so you can land on planets in space without loading screens.

The Overeager Schoolboy

The schoolboy has an idea for a game. He saves his money to buy Game Maker (or RPG Maker) and tells his all friends about his amazing idea. Then he makes a post about it on tumblr. Then he makes a sideblog about the game and posts there too, tagged #game development.

Unfortunately, the schoolboy is 15, and while he is talented, he doesn’t really know how to program or draw. He’s good at math, and he can draw with a pencil. Unfortunately, he wants to learn digital art, level design, and programming all in one go. He already knows all the characters for his game, and he writes posts about each of them individually, with pencilled concept art and flavourful lore.

Even more unfortunately, our schoolboy is hazy on how big the game is actually going to be, and what core mechanic the game should be based around.

After designing sprite sheets and portraits for ten characters you could add to your party, plus the Big Bad End Boss, he realises that he has no idea how to get there, or how to make the first level. He starts over with another set of tools and engine, but he doesn’t limit his scope.

In an overdramatic post two months later, he apologises to the people who were excited to play the game when it’s done. A week later he deletes the tumblr. He never releases a playable demo. He never gets constructive feedback from game developers.

The Game Designer’s Game Designer

The game designer’s game designer is not exactly a household name, but he has done this for a while. While you have never heard of him, the people who made the games you like have. All your favourite games journalists also have. Through this connection, many concepts have trickled down into the games you play and the way your friends talk to you about games they like.

The game designer’s game designer has been going at this for a while. When he started, there was no way to learn game design, so he probably studied maths, psychology, computer science, industrial design, or music theory.

The games fall outside of genres, and not just in the sense of mixing two genres together. They are sometimes outside of established genres, or they are clearly inside the tradition of RTS, rogue-likes or clicker games, but they feel like something completely new.

The games of the game designer’s game designer are sometimes released for free, out of the blue, and sometimes commissioned for museums and multimedia art festivals. Some of them are about philosophy, but they don’t merely mention philosophical concepts, or use them to prop up a game mechanic (cloning and transporters, anyone?). They explore concepts like “the shortness of life” or “capitalism” or “being one with the world” or “unfriendly AI” through game mechanics.

But they also explore gameplay tropes like “inventory management“ or “unidentified magic items“ or “unit pathfinding“.

Sometimes bursts of multiple games are released within weeks, after years of radio silence. Should you ever meet the game designer’s game designer, you tell him that you got a lot out of the textbook he wrote, but you feel guilty that you never played one of his games. So you lie and tell him you did.