#listicle

[spockvarietyhour]

Ranked by Cultural Impact.

[aphetaliamessages]

Weird Ways the Nations Have Died

America: He cracked a uranium rod open with his teeth

They glow in cartoons, so he figured they'd glow in real life too. Who cracks glow sticks with their teeth, though? Dis boy is a neanderthal...

England: Drug overdose... in the middle of sex with France.

France was like "Oh no, did I ride him to death?"

France: Exhaustion from too much sex

For the love of God, don't give England caffeine

Canada: Tony made him do chores in his alien house

Alfie came in like "Tony, stop making Mattie do chores just to watch him!" Both brothers got zapped

Russia: He gave an ostrich a hug

Ostrich: Get the fuck off me bitch I don't know u

China: Someone dared him to pee in a gator pond

Wang lost his wang

Germany: Blue balls

Lethally repressed smh.

🦅 Mod Prussia's Legal Eagle Disclaimer: You can't actually die of blue balls

☕️ Mod England: If you could, I'd be dead

Italy: Dreamed of a spaghetti monster

He fell out of bed and died of head trauma. Told everyone the spaghetti monster killed him

Japan: Tentacle dildo

First attempt at using a brand new tentacle dildo, lost his balance and fell face first into his full-length mirror

Spain: He put a venomous snake in his pocket and it bit his ass

Guess Lovi isn't the only one who wants a piece of that 😮‍💨

Prussia: He stabbed himself to get out of a dentist appointment

Lud just stared at him like "u dramatic bitch." Still made him go

[cultofcreatures]

My Top 15 Vaporwave Horror Movies

I thought I would put together a list of vaporwave/dreamcore/liminal aesthetic horror movies that I find to feel outside of time and space. That's sort of my vibe here on tumblr, and I also like the mantra of "if there's something you want to see that no one has made yet, make it yourself." These are films that I personally love, and the list not meant to be definitive. Remember also that art is subjective. I hope someone out there finds at least one film they want to add to their watchlist! It's been a minute since I've seen some of them, so let me know if I need to correct something.

15. Mandy (2018)

I wish I could add pictures for all of these entries, but I can still only add 10 pictures to a post blah. It's such a shame because I wanted to show off that gorgeous aesthetics of all these films. Oh well. This is a revenge flick about a cult kidnapping Nick Cage's girlfriend and him losing his marbles about it. Definitely recommend if you're the mood for vibes and/or Nick Cage NickCageing.

TW: violence, blood, fire

14. Come True (2020)

This is a haunting, fantastic vibes movie. It feels so otherworldly. It's about a homeless young person participating in a sleep study to be able to safely get some sleep. It would be an almost perfect film if it weren't for the just garbage ending. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, just skip the last 5 minutes, and take it for what the rest of the film is: beautiful.

13. Braid (2018)

This film follows a couple of young drug dealers on the run from their supplier crashing at a mentally unwell friend's house. The catch is they have to play along with their host's unhinged "game" while they hide out. Not gonna lie, this film is trippy af and definitely not for everyone. I can guarantee that no matter what, it is a ride.

TW: heavy drug use, blood

12. Perfect Blue (1997)

A pop star retires to become a full-time actor, which angers some of her fans. Her sense of reality becomes warped when one obsessive fan begins to stalk her. I don't love some of the turns this movie takes when it comes to mental health, but it's hard to deny this film is classic that has stunning animation.

TW: negative depictions of mental disorders, violence, blood

11. Skinamarink (2022)

This controversial found footage movie is sort of hard to describe because it's so otherworldly. Basically, two kids wake up one night to find their dad and all of their doors and windows are missing. Everything about this nostalgic yet terrifying film is vibes and aesthetic: liminal, vaporwave, voidcore, dreamcore, you name it. It feels like a fever dream, and it's a nightmarish journey you won't soon forget, for better or worse.

10. Vivarium (2019)

A couple are looking for a home to share. They follow a strange realtor to an even stranger labyrinthine neighborhood that seems to have no escape. If you're into liminal spaces, this film will definitely scratch that itch for you.

9. Revenge (2017)

This is a r*pe revenge tale that has absolutely beautiful scenery and cinematography. I love the sweeping liminal landscapes and vibrant vaporwave colors. It's a standard plot as far as the genre goes, but it's directed by a woman, so it has a different angle that I find to be superior to most films of the genre.

TW: violence, gore, SA, blood

8. Don't Worry Darling (2022)

A 1950s housewife begins to suspect that something about her utopian community is not what it seems. This film seems to be a bit controversial, too, for some reason. Whatever the case may be, I adore the liminality and dreamy feel of this film. You really get a sense that this world is outside of time and space.

7. It Follows (2014)

This film is straight up about a sexually transmitted curse. Jay sleeps with her boyfriend for the first time, and then finds out she must outpace this demon that can take the shape of anyone forever lest it kill her, or she must pass the curse on to someone else. The shots in this film are to die for. Especially for connoisseurs of the liminal, vaporwave, and dreamcore. Highly recommend for the visuals and music alone.

TW: gore, blood

6. House (1977)

Gorgeous decides to stay with her aunt to hopefully get closer with a group of six of her friends. The girls come to find her aunt's house is more than meets the eye. The visuals and absurdity are what make this movie. It's a classic for a reason.

TW: cartoon gore

5. Akira (1988)

Tetsuo gains psychic abilities via a secret military project and becomes mad with power. It's up to his friends and a small group of psychics to stop him. This is another classic anime. Its 1980s futuristic mentality really lends itself to the vaporwave atmosphere of the cityscape. I highly recommend this classic if you haven't seen it.

TW: violence, body horror

4. Censor (2021)

Enid is a serious film censor with a shrouded past that includes her long-missing sister. She watches a film that bears eerie resemblance to her vague childhood memories that begin to take hold of her as tries to piece them together. I don't think I'm totally clear on when this film takes place, which is what I love about it. It has a spooky surreal quality that will both draw you in and unsettle you.

TW: violence, blood

3. She Dies Tomorrow (2020)

Amy is convinced she is going to die tomorrow. Her friend Jane comes by to comfort her, and then becomes consumed by the thought she will die tomorrow as well. This film is as strange as it is beautiful. It will either leave you in tears or confused af or both.

TW: blood

2. The Neon Demon (2016)

Jesse is a very young, gifted model who is new in town (probably LA). She quickly signs with an agent and begins getting gigs, breeding the contempt of the established models around her. This is probably one of the most visually appealing films I've ever seen. The music is on point. The low key acting is a vibe. I just adore this film. 10/10, highly recommend.

TW: gore, blood

1. The Platform (2019)

A man wakes up in a prison that is an indescribable liminal pit where there are a seemingly never-ending number of levels. A platform full of food is lowered through each level once a day, and everyone on the lower levels must fight to survive. This film is just so utterly anticapitalist and gorgeous that I can't help but sing its praises. I think everyone should watch this movie at least once. It is horrifying yet eye-opening. Certainly one of my favorite films of all time.

TW: gore, violence, blood

Thank you for reading my list! Like I said, I wanted to make a list like this because I couldn't find one when I went looking. I hope you found something to add to your watchlist! I tried to include some of the big TWs for these movies, but they're far from complete lists. So please check websites like doesthedogdie.com for more complete TW lists if you have any concerns. Make decisions that are right for you. Thanks again, and have a happy and safe new year! xx

[yodawgiheardyoulikemecha]

Yeah, I know, tastes differ; but fuck that, there’s way too much star wars in that list, and he lists the war of the worlds tripods twice.

[offsidenewsco]

Happy Valentine's Day from Offside News. Celebrate the holiday and read up on some NHL Folklore. Read it here.

[unbfacts]

Why do we experience a falling sensation in our sleep? 😳

[ttto-ok]

Best Tofu Recipes

for april fools, my friend has an event where instead of doing pranks, people make something totally different than what they usually make. he calls it April Cools. i think it's a cute idea! today, please enjoy this listicle of the best tofu recipes. it has its own little webpage: http://ttto.cafe/tofu i hope it has some content you haven't seen before!

[cuprohastes]

Things that Kids Today just Don't Understand...

... but actually, they do because they don't live in a vacuum, but we all like entertaining lists:

The sound the digital camera makes is an old school camera shutter! ... which everyone kind of knows, but the reason it's there is that when digital cameras started to be a thing that normal people could afford, it was hard to tell if your camera had actually taken a picture without audio feedback. And also because people immediately started being creepy and taking upskirt shots of random women or kids or whatever and 'beep' tells you nothing: It could be someone's digital watch. But if you hear a shutter... you'd know your spongebob panties are now on some dude's Sony Mavica. And so specifically for a while all cameras had to make a clear audio sound.

The save icon is actually a thing called a floppy disk! Again. Not exactly news. But it's a 1.44mb 3.5" disk. as opposed to a 5.25" floppy which was large and therefore held less data. Somehow. Up until fairly recently - the last 5 years or so - the Nuclear launch computers used an eight inch floppy*. Partly because some institutions are adverse to swapping out tech that's got a really specific use case and has been customised wit e.g. EMP shielding, and partly because you cannot hack a computer that's so detached from the outside world that the only way to make it work is to get a sheet of plastic covered in magnetised rust and make the computer deep throat it. I mean you can but it's really annoying. @foone probably has a how to guide or at least thoughts on floppies. *Eight Inch Floppy is not an actual porn movie. I'm as surprised as you are.

Until 1991 all cats were orange. That's why Garfield was an orange cat, because that's the only sort anyone had ever seen, and you only saw other colours in animation because that's the only way you could show that. Not actually true but I felt like I had to throw in some outrageous bullshit.

Duvet Quilts only happened in the 1980s. Previously beds were made with layers of sheets and blankets and eiderdowns. Then in the late 1970s/80s, "Continental Quilts" got introduced from Scandanavia. These were originally invented as a way for children to deal with the complexities of bed making but proved so useful and popular that they are a staple of European bedding. Also probably in the US but since they decided a quilt was a sheet of stitched patterns, they just fucked up the naming again, so I have no idea what y'all call these things or if you're smart enough to be using them in the states where water freezes.

Laundry used to be an all day event. Before household washing machines and delicious forbidden gushers laundry pods, to wash clothing you'd have to grate a block of soap or if you were a profligate wastrel, buy laundry flakes, boil water in a huge cauldron, dump your clothes in and beat it all with a big stick, just take the mild chemical burns and skin damage from steam, then wring out your clothes on a mangle which would occasionally deglove your fingers or crush a toddler, then hang it all up and hope that the pollution wouldn't turn it all grey. You'd have to separate your clothes by colour, and fabric. If you washed wool wrong, your ancestors would drag you screaming into the netherworld. It was such an amazing faff that people used to make a living doing it for their neighbours. It was such an amazing faff that if you were in the klondike gold rush it was easier to ship your clothes off to get them cleaned and then have the brought back on the supply ships. With the invention of cheap washing machines and detergent that can work as low temps, and fast dyes... you just throw everything in, whang in a laundry pod and go do something else. This freed women up (Fantastic, hilarious TED talk) to investigate this whole 'education' and 'being treated like a human being' thing.

Ok, thundermuffins: Don't forget when you reblog I will derive satisfaction and age backwards by 12.4 seconds if you add your opinion. Comments are not only OK but absolutely encouraged.

Remember: this thing ain't monetised. I just like chatting to all y'all.

[noeljpenaflor]

Watching PULP FICTION

Fuck Forrest Gump.

The Worst Best Picture Oscar Winners Since 1990 (LINK Below)

This LINK was in the BRIEFCASE!!

[blazehedgehog]

What would be your Top 10 best video games of all time?

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE ME RANK MY CHILDREN

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island

Donkey Kong Country

Sonic Unleashed

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Sonic 3 & Knuckles

Final Fantasy VII

Chrono Trigger

Half-Life

Left4Dead 2

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

AND ANOTHER TEN BECAUSE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT

Super Mario 64

Doom

Earthbound

Mega Man X

Super Puzzle Fighter 2: Turbo

Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2

Parappa the Rapper

NiGHTS: Into Dreams

Klonoa: The Door to Phantomile

Kirby Super Star

[winterwarburton]

10 Positively LGBTQ+ Games to Fill You With Pride

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

yeah no i already knew that

[aphetaliamessages]

Top 15 Weirdest Shit Alfred F. Jones has Eaten

1. pop rocks and mountain dew

It was an act of protest like "Imma explode and you'll all be sorry!" It just gave him a tummy ache.

2. ketchup on ice cream

Francis can't be in the same room or else he'll puke.

3. a marshmallow while it was still on fire

Spent the rest of the night eating snow.

4. a magnet

He wanted to see if it would still work through his body. It didn't. Thank goodness, cus he would've eaten more if it had—wanted to be Magneto.

5. tea with chocolate milk

Arthur almost disowned him, but then he tried it and changed his mind.

6. random plants

That's all he did during recess as a kid—eat plants.

7. Australia's homework

"What are you, a dog??" Alfred WISHES he were a dog.

8. maple syrup on spaghetti

Matthew strangles him while Alfred laughs like the maniac he is.

9. dog food

He wanted to see if scooby snacks were a real thing.

10. rat poison

"It says RAT POISON, not PEOPLE POISON."

11. a switch cartridge

Was trying to do that thing where people were licking them but accidentally put the whole thing in his mouth. It was Super Smash Bros.

12. gold coins

When Arthur was a pirate, little Alfred found some gold coins and decided to hide them. Arthur had to get those back the gross way.

13. Mattie's weed

He thought that's how edibles worked. Matthew couldn't even be mad because it was entertaining.

14. a pool noodle

No one knows why he did it. ESPECIALLY not him.

15. the Articles of Confederation

The document we know is, uh, the second one.

[realwomenofgaming]

Nine Spooky Books To Read In October

Come check out Soliyra's Spooky book recs!

Looking for a good scare this October? Look no further! We’ve compiled a list of nine spine-chilling books that will send shivers down your spine and keep you up at night. From classic tales to modern horrors, there’s something for everyone in this selection. So grab a blanket, turn off the lights, and get ready for a frightful adventure through the pages of these terrifying…

[offsidenewsco]

"Whether it’s your first dive into the chaos that is the Stanley Cup Playoffs or you consider yourself a seasoned vet, coping with the rollercoaster of emotions that the postseason brings can be challenging."

Read our NHL Playoffs Survival Guide here.

[lemonwaterandpaperbacks]

some things i wish someone had told me about writing a novel (so i’m telling you):

• your story will keep you up at night and force you to rise early with an anxiousness to get to your keyboard • the first 10,000 words are easy but, that does not mean that your story is good • the next 5,000 - 10,000 words are incredibly frustrating and, at times, will feel impossible • this is because, in the back of your mind, you’re hyper-fixated on the first 10,000 you poured out as easily as adding cream to a cup of tea • resisting the urge to edit the words you already wrote is much harder than continuing to write words that will also need editing • you will think that writing your novel in a google doc is the smartest idea you’ve ever had (besides the plot of your novel) • you will love the ability to comment on your google doc and think that you are actually getting somewhere • you will falter when you return to your comments and find that they make absolutely no sense to you (despite being the one who wrote them) • if you make it to 20,000 words, congratulations, you only have an average of 50,000 to 100,000 more words to write 

and most importantly... • keep writing no matter what anyone (including that little voice in your head) says  • even on the days when the words coming out of your mind through your fingertips read like a five-year-old wrote them • even on the days when you feel like you’ve finally got it figured out until you revisit it and realize you don’t know shit • and especially on the days when you wake up wanting to write and feel confident in every key stroke

keep writing because, as jodi picoult said, "you might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. you can't edit a blank page.”

–––– s.s.e.