#away from school and away from my family | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aardvaark · 4 months

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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.

#leverageposting #leverage #sophie devereaux #particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school #or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think #she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks #she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself #as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund #her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one #or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s #bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random #hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times #in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer #enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth #name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg

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childrenofthesun77 · 7 months

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...okay, so I'm probably not the first person to notice this.

But gear's earing that he points towards when he says that he did the same ritual he wanted to help kuro with already on himself before:

actually looks pretty similar to the pieces of the necklace the count used to create the servamps:

The different pieces of the necklace seem to contain one demon each and the count used them to create the servamps.

So...did the count either learn this technique from the werewolves or is he possible even originally a werewolf himself? It would explain why he's immortal, that's why I'm wondering about this.

Gear says that the ritual is used to remove spirits, could it be that the count removed his own sins using the werewolf ritual and created the demons this way? But he went too far and removed too much unlike gear who only removed one part of himself? Him removing the sins from himself would also explain why he's so weird and doesn't understand other beings. As the sin demons say, they are a natural part of being a human and we have seen multiple times that denying their existence is harmful, removing them all from you would probably lead to you not being able to relate to other people anymore.

Maybe removing all these parts of himself is also why he has no appearance. Without his demons he's not a person anymore.

The count originally being a werewolf would also explain why he has magical abilities (gear can also use magic) before other magicians existed and why he's so anxious about certain people dying. Gear talks about how his immortality makes him sad because human friends do die, but unlike the count gear seems to accept death, grieves in a heathier way than the count and is able to move on and make new friends. Could also explain why his magic and creations are all strongly tied to the (full) moon.

Another similarity is that while werewolves apparently can't reproduce gear was able to have descendants by sharing his life force (it's mentioned in chapter 135 which isn't translated yet) with a woman and through her human children tsurugi is related to gear. Sigurd explained to nicco that the magicians came to be because the count let humans drink his blood, three survived, got magical ablities and became the ancestors of all human magicians:

Maybe the count is more of a werecat though. He and the sloth demon do seem to have a closer connection, even though the count's appearance changes depending on the person looking at him he does usually keep his tail and the tip looks exactly like the one of kuro's cat/lion form and similar to the the one of inner sloth's non-human form.

It was also stated multiple times that the sloth demon is the strongest. I wonder why that is. Servamp comments on the fact that being lazy is often actually a sign of depression/anxiety through kuro's arc, so maybe the count was depressed and that's why the sloth demon is the strongest? Basically the demons strength depends on how much the count suffered from the different sins? It would also explain why melancholy is so strong, I assume kuro refusing to see him no matter how many siblings he sent his way to tell him to come looking for the count made him extremely sad and probably even made him come up with the plan to have himself be killed and then put in the same body as kuro through the ritual.

I assume he was behind C3 ordering the servamps to kill him because he's the one who created the magicians and thus C3 and lily who is kind of working for him was probably the one who put the idea that the count needed to be killed into the head of his eve (aka a member of the alicein family who hold a lot of power in C3 basically since the beginning. I explained this in more detail in another post). The people from C3 even said that the count can only be killed if he wants to and yeah, kuro didn't truly kill him, but he did destroy his body and kuro seems to have met little resistance when he attacked the count. Which probably means the count wanted this to happen.

#servamp #...if the servamps/demons all came from the count and the magicians are all basically the descendants of the count #does that mean this truly is all just a huge family conflict #since basically everyone involved is somewhat related to the count?😅#Sigurd says he's related to one of the three people who drank the counts blood #I'm still wondering if mahiru is special because he might have the blood of all three bloodlines #and C3 has a rule in place that forbids all three bloodlines from crossing #probably put in place by the count or lily #and that's why akira told nobody who the father of her child was #I still like my absolute crack theory that because mahiru might have “more” of the counts blood in him that he has no fixed appearance eith #But because he's so normal everyone perceives him as normal so nobody noticed until now that mahiru looks slightly different to all of them #honestly it would explain/excuse some questionable choices made by characters who as far as we know should be good people #Like why akira didn't tell anybody who the father was #why tooru tried to avoid being seen with mahiru in school by always saying he's to busy #Why tooru told mahiru not to tell the secret to anyone else #and why mahiru was raised as mundane as possible and as far away from C3 as possible #even why tooru kept his work for C3 secret from mahiru even after mahiru made the contract #and why he still didn't tell him the name of his father #If people know your relatives they start comparing you to them #If people knew that touma was mahiru's father they might expect mahiru to look like him #If people only knew mahiru was related to akira and tooru they would expect him to look like them #If people at school only knew mahiru but never met tooru before mahiru's appearance to them might be too different from tooru #Touma saying mahiru looks exactly like tooru doesn't disprove this crack theory either btw #Touma sees mahiru as tooru 2.0 and he's not 100% convinced he's actually mahiru's father so mahiru appearing as a copy of tooru makes sense #Just like mahiru would perceive himself as looking like akira and tooru because those are the only close relatives of his he knows #Sorry but I'm having too much fun with this crack theory #the twist that raising mahiru as the “ordinary high school student” was all a plot by his family #to keep people from noticing that they don't actually agree on what he looks like is too funny to me

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useless-catalanfacts · 1 year

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Btw if you come on holidays and stay at an AirBnb instead of an actual registered hotel I hate you personally. Not "I hate the gentrification and touristic massification and the way we can't live in our homes and are forced to move away because of tourism" in an abstract way- No, not just that. I hate you.

#I'm from a seaside town that has become popular with tourists who come for the beach and the mediterranean climate #and the typical whitewashed walls of mediterranean coastal towns #in just a few years the average rent has gone up so much that now the average rent id #*is over 1000€ per month #one thousand!#that's a whole salary!#in the past 2 years they've been building a new neighbourhood. they've destroyed the vinyeards to make a new neighbourhood that will make #the town 1/3 bigger than it is. that's a lot. but all those houses are luxury houses with private swimming pools for rich foreigners (we #already have 2 private British schools high schools and college(in the british sense)/baccalaureate where their kids go and never have to #interact with locals. I teach some of those kids and they're very prejudiced against locals and very bigoted against the catalan language #(which ofc they never bother to learn)#there's a law in catalonia that says that for every certain amount of houses you build you are obligated to build a certain percentage of #affordable housing. so in this new neighborhood they built the bare minumum affordable housing which is still too expensive for us #and since there's so few of them everyone is competing to get them. the city hall and the bank have had to make an official competition for #them but you only classify if the renr would not be more than 1/3rd of your salary which is impossible. my cousins who are in their mid 30s #and have been working a good qualified job for 15 years (and their partners too) are considered too poor to be considered for the #affordable housing #everyone is having to move out to other cities away from their friends and family and current jobs. the only jobs left here soon will be #mostly directed at tourists #and the only way to continue living here if you're a normal person and not rich is if you're an only child who one day might inherit the #parents' house #but we look around at what's happening in nearby cities and we see the next step which will be airbnb taking the houses that are left #in many places (I've posted about thia before) there aren't any flats for rent or sell anymore that isn't an airbnb #I'm still lucky in my town when compared to other places like Barcelona which are already full of the airbnb plague #actualitat #airbnb #tourism #touristic massification #gentrification

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comsumedsoul · 3 months

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Do you think Lily saw Petunia and herself in Andromeda and Narcissa?

I always felt that Petunia and Narcissa were more passive, not unaccountable for their actions of course, with Narcissa being a muggle hater and Petunia being a "magic" hater, and both actively engaging in that hatred. But both their respective partners were much more aggressive. With Petunia and Narcissa, they were more willing to take actions that directly bypassed their hatred to ultimately protect their sons.

Petunia initially took Harry in because she wanted to be able to protect her family, which I feel the decision was made mostly keeping Dudley in mind, her beloved son. Thus associating herself with magic once more even though she absolutely loathed it. Narcissa, as we know from canon, outright lies to voldemort to declare Harry dead, because she wanted to keep Draco safe. They both took necessary measures to protect their family, although maybe it didn't really go much against their ideals, since Petunia still hated everything magic and abused Harry, and Narcissa probably took a calculated necessary risk to save her own. They don't suddenly become exemplary heroes or change their discriminatory views.

Lily and Andromeda are similar in the way that they both married the person they loved, which went against their respective "cultures" - the world and beliefs they were raised in. Andromeda marrying a muggleborn went against everything that represented the house of Black and was seen as a betrayal to her family and by extension, Narcissa. Lily marrying a wizard was perhaps the cherry on top of the cake which severed the ties between herself and Petunia, damaging the heavily complicated and practically non-existent relationship beyond repair, Petunia already having alienated herself from Lily due to not having magic. Narcissa and Petunia probably took their "leave" as a personal betrayal, more so than others, an act of abandonment. Narcissa obviously didn't find the actions of her family wrong. Petunia and Narcissa probably wouldn't have blamed themselves either, at least it was easier to lay the blame on the person that stole, or rather, corrupted their sister. This would've just solidified their hatred against muggles/wizards because of the misplaced guilt, as they felt it took away from them their sister.

Lily probably didn't directly interact with the black sisters in school, but I hc that she probably got acquainted with Andromeda after she graduated, being on the same side of resistance and both of them being a part of the order. Having seen how Narcissa was in school and then getting to know more about their family due to being closely associated with another Black, namely Sirius, it perhaps wouldn't be a stretch to say she found a friend in Andromeda. I do love to think of them quietly reminiscing about the bonds lost and the devastation of what could have been.

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fatehbaz · 5 months

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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child #when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me #for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites #while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs #at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books #which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa #anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop #one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me #in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card #tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition #later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned #i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds #but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me #they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes #and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories #which i was always sentimental about as child #from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides #and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns #to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth #parents passed when i was a child #never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness #and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions #and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally #and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost #even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions #but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth #thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood

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ink-the-artist · 1 year

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to be clear, I'm a long-time follower, I'm sorry that people are being weird on your innocent post, and I don't think anything that comes from USSR and Russia should be treated with no respect at all... but USSR is kind of like Nazi Germany. The analogy makes a lot of sense. Especially for Eastern and Central Europeans who were caught between the two during WWII.

they have similarities but I really dont think they should be treated as equal

#they are not #the kind of shit the average german believed is miles away from the stuff the average soviet believed #nazi ideology was deeply ingrained in every part of life #children were raised being brainwashed with antisemitism by school and family and society #its not necesserily wrong to make nazi comparisons its useful sometimes to point to similarities #but its wrong to equate things that are not equal #it can be borderline antisemitic lol #im always VERY suspicious of people who believe nazi germany and soviet russia were equally evil or that russia was worse #esp since that belief usually comes from ppl who are very anti-communist #and more often than not those ppl turn out to be antisemitic lol #im a gay russian jew im the biggest degen out there <3 all my art is degenerate art #im joining the culture war on the side of degeneracy

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fracturedfamilyau · 26 days

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Got another question! Anyone can answer this time.

When you all were still in the pizzeria before the guards came, what did you guys do for entertainment? Were you able to play any of the arcade machines or mess around with the plushies, or did you guys just kinda hang out until it came time to get to buissness? Hope this question finds you all well!

Entertainment

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ressq · 20 days

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man i sure wish i had the energy to do anything at all!

okay well it's not entirely true that i haven't been doing anything. i'm cooking. trust.

#meds make it so i can't really strongly differentiate between depressive episodes and regular depression #it's moreso a constant depression with random spurts of energy in between long periods of doing nothing but sleeping and working #but the art i HAVE managed to produce has gone pretty hard ngl.#i think it's also the current political climate here in america. it's hostile and i'm drifting away from my family because of it #and that's been pretty rough #it's been a gradual drift away that started in high school and has just intensified through adulthood #but i love my friends and my favs and cats and music #i think coming to terms with being disabled has been a punch to the gut since now my options SHOULD be open. but there's SO MUCH i can't do #things are looking up for me in the general sense. i'm in a good spot in my life right now but that doesn't stop the perpetual brainfog #nothing will ever really stop this everpresent depression but i'm generally stable and healthy so it is what it is #it feels good to love and be loved and that's what keeps me going #if i'm sad? sleep it off. go to work then sleep for 16 hrs a day on my days off. then work again. easy #the life of a productive little worker bee is great!#ress thinks #okay rant over. i'm not in a bad place rn dw! i just like to yap

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kazbrekkerskane · 9 months

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Being the eldest daughter is like hey mom and dad: fun fact! actually I am not a replacement parent that can take care of and drive around my siblings whenever you get bored of parenting but I am, in fact, also your child

#and then you go away to college and they’re like who is our free childcare and Uber now??#who will take care of the children I willingly had?#also they try to pull the “familial responsibilities” like my little brothers have to put away the dishes #and I had to drive them to every extracurricular #pick them up from school #babysit them and put them to bed every other night #These are not the same #eldest daughter #oldest daughter

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envolvenuances · 27 days

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lesbian masterdoc and the unforgivable damage of making people hear compulsory heterosexuality and think of "can lesbians have crushes on men?" (no) instead of "are heterosexual women settling in unhappy marriages with men bellow their worth because of economic and social pressure?" (yes)

#not claiming the theory was without flaws but it sure didn't describe some virus mental affliction that exclusively plagues lesbians #for starters the theory was primarily about marriage. so it did recognise the historical fact of lesbians forced into marriage to avoid #honor killings and the still present possibility and threats especially when it comes to cults and strong religions #(once again mentioning as a Jeová's witness in a brazilian periphery my girlfriend accepted the tool of losing her entire family and social #circles to reject an arranged marriage at the age of 17. and she's bisexual. but THAT is what compulsory heterosexuality alludes to)#but more often than not when it addressed lesbians it was as the inherent threat they pose to heteropatriarchy #that they mere existence proved women were not all born to serve men. and that their lives often proved women are much happier and #accomplished when away from the burden of men.#and this acknowledging just how much loneliness was a reality through lesbian's experiences #at the same time I can understand the frustration of that feminist theory being reduced to 'comphet is when lesbians in high school were #pressured into picking one of the Backstreet Boys to lie about finding attractive'. and even more so when that non universal and much less #serious example somehow morphed into 'comphet is when bisexual women either lying or confused about being lesbians have sex with men and #find it unfulfilling' because accepting that narrative erases and harms lesbians #so I understand the 'comphet isn't real' posts especially because written like that it tends to refer to lesbian masterdoc and following #fiasco. but at the same time that wasn't the original intent of compulsory heterosexuality the actual feminist term #this is just me complaining about how social media butchers theory tho unless they are specifically naming Rich and the many other feminist #who wrote about heterosexual marriage as an institution I won't bother lesbians for venting frustration about neoliberal erasure of lesbian #the original theory sure didn't claim lesbians were immune to all this misogynistic violence but the term was never exclusively about them #and tended to ask more of 'where do we stand as women and feminists as a group much more interested in destroying heterosexual marriage than #simply making it more bearable?'#this got a little messy and senseless I'm tired #.txt

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gaytoddhoward · 29 days

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they should invent a period that doesnt make me the most miserable person on earth

#personal #vent #i will never ever ever be able to pass. by the time im able to get top surgery ill probably be like 30 and the earth will have already died #i will only ever be seen as a confused girl or maybe if im lucky as a feminine man . best case scenario someone looks at me and goes #'oh theyre definitely nonbinary' but i will NEVER just . be some guy. ill never just be a person . itll always either be a label or Girl.#im not going to be able to medically transition or fuckin . go out to meet my friends or anything until i move out and i wont #be able to move out for 3 years minimum . meanwhile everyone else will be getting time to spend together and being able to live on their own #and being able to advance in careers they actually like or at least arent completely fucking miserable in and ill probably be stuck at #FUCKING WALMART the entire time because nowhere else will give me the flexible hours i need for school #my most supportive family is always going to live an hour away from me and ill never truly be able to express myself or my frustrations at #home and even if i could i cant even put half of them into words online even when im really trying the correct words are never there #i get to just sit back and watch as my friends actively fuck up their lives but at least they get to make their own decisions #and then i feel awful on top of that because i shouldnt feel envy over my friends lives . we all have it fucked Especially those in my area #im just. so tired

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kelin-is-writing · 4 months

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Everyone, remind me to not trust my dad’s relatives with food and parties because they can’t do even that much the right way. The peoples are so questionable 💀

#— ❥ kelrambles;#.text #also don’t get me started on my jobless cousin telling me she found 5 jobs FOR ME but they all seem just like… scam…#because girl why are you trusting instagram ads now to find yourself a job???? 😭💀#but her finding five jobs for me while she is jobless and with a kid to raise it’s what actually takes me out #albanian relatives feels WAAAAAAY too entitled to thing they shouldn’t be feeling entitled about #literally mind your fucking business???#you the same girl who called me immature when i had a breakdown from stress in the hardest moment of my life #and now you come to me acting like you didn’t project your entire being and existence on me???? bitch go away???#she narcissistic arrogant presumptuous bossy and stuck up as hell because picking only one bad trait felt too insulting to her #literally stop chasing after me and chase after your 4yo son????? 😭#anyways… some peoples needs a reality check and to be humbled so bad #she the same who tells me that i can’t talk back because i dropped out of school… like i wasn’t forced by our relatives to do that lmfao #she has regarded me with the heinous shits EVER since i was a kid but the bad one is always me when i talk back to her 🫥#get so much why diego doesn’t pull up to any family gathering and stays away from these peoples 🤭

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probayern · 1 month

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i miss germany, i miss the euros, i miss june

#the past month has been so overwhelming 😭😭#i miss my life.......#like i am excited for school but i don't feel like i got to say goodbye to what it was before #i think i expected july to be chill time with friends #but i had so much to do to prep #and my friends have been busy or away or dealing w shit #and so i feel like i've barely gotten to spend any quality time with anyone i care about #since june really #and that trip to germany was so so perfect #so much quality time with so many people i care about #(i miss you guys!)#and it's been so fucking hard to find time to even keep up with my messages and phone calls and ugh #i just feel so ungrounded and disconnected from my friends and who i am #which is so frustrating because i know that like a month ago i felt so FULFILLED #so connected to my friends and my family and my passions and my work.#and yeah i guess this is just what life transitions are #it was always going to be hard to suddenly be around so many new people #i just already feel the temptation to retreat into my existing relationships and i don't wanna do that #but how do i already miss all my friends so much 😭😭 it hasn't even started #ugh i just had an annoying evening and haven't been sleeping well and am tired #i should go to sleep. i'll feel better in the morning #bella things

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theiceandbones · 3 months

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If the victorians took several years of their lives to dedicate to mourning then surely I can take this next year to mourn and excuse myself from things that may cause me great stress

#a trigger today was discovering that a lady in my community whose children I went to school with passed away #her son was a year above me and he wrote this incredible facebook post about her final days #and that it also took place in a hospital surrounded by family felt like a kick in the chest #it was a year ago for them and their situation is so similar to mine it felt strange to read #when I’m at Tim’s every now and again there’s a low beep from the machines that reminds me of a hospital #the beeping of machines and the smell of sickness and the idea of hospitals are all huge triggers #it sucks because you can’t just avoid these things. I drive past mom’s hospital room many times

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smallblueandloud · 2 months

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there are so many people that i love and so many of them are so far away and it's so hard to keep up with everyone :(

#sb and l rambles #vagueblogging is vague #an embarassment of riches i know. but :((((#i can't keep living this far away from my family but i can't lose my friends #my high school friends are the reason why i am who i am and i don't know how to convey the depths of that #i'm being pulled in so many directions and i want to follow all of them :(

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tzufcallsmeshomps · 2 months

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Just found out I've lost another childhood friend to the war, the younger brother of my classmate. I'm at a loss... I don't know if my parents know too, they were really really close with his parents. I'm afraid to tell them. I'm afraid of them telling me. I have no one on the outside to ask how to handle this... Everyone's even closer to the pain than me. I don't want to trauma dump on internet friends out of the blue. I just don't know what to do.

#we were their next door neighbors when i was a kid #my family had a cute nickname for him derived from my little sister mispronouncing his name #i can't bring myself to tell them but still afraid of how and from whom they will find out #i know he grew up a lot since i've known him but still #if it hurts so much for me i can't imagine how it's affecting my friend #i still remember the day back in elementary school when she and her cousin both had lost their aunt to sickness.#i wanted to never see them experience loss again #and here we are... and he's gone... and i want to fold away and hide until it's all over #vent #sorry for the rant

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