#ayda is going to be so proud

[hyperfixatingmenever]

.... not for long

[deconstructthesoup]

Okay, now that all of the Bad Kids have their new art out... I can finally freak out/gush over/analyze it, because I didn't have the energy to do posts for every single one.

GUYS

Fig!!! My girl!!! The mismatched shoelaces! The bass guitar from Gorthalax! The phoenix feather earring for Ayda! The fishnet! The classic leather jacket/gray band shirt/red pleated skirt combo! The fingerless gloves! THE CHAIN WALLET!

KRISTEN IS BUTCH. Let me repeat that---KRISTEN! IS! BUTCH! And she's wearing the yellow jumpsuit that we saw in her figurine but she still has the purple in her backpack and her staff and her TIE-DIE SPORTS BRA! And she's got a new hairstyle! And a rainbow bracelet AND a lesbian bracelet! THE TEDDY BEAR! THE ICE CREAM SANDWICHES!

RIZ HAS AN UNDERCUT AND GLASSES AND HE KEPT HIS TATTOOS!!!! We've got the briefcase! We've got the angelic weapons! We've got the sword of shadows! We've got GADGETS! WE EVEN HAVE ARO/ACE RINGS! He looks so cool and nifty and crafty and BADASS! My boy has grown!

Gorgug. Oh my god, I can FEEL the "going into a worry" energy radiating from this. But he's got the axe! He's got artificer goggles and tools and a rucksack! He's FINALLY got the emo ripped jeans that he always deserved! He looks so sweet and huggable and perfect! AND HE HAS THE BIG HEADPHONES STILL!

ADAINE. My god. I love this girl so much and her art is perfect. She has patches on her jacket! We can see the cool design on her shirt! She's got high-fantasy boots and belts and she's got her new arcane sword! BOGGY IS THERE! And she looks so lovely and cool and her hair, oh my god, her hair is perfect! I'm so proud of her!

And lastly, the man, the myth, the LEGEND. Fabian looks perfect. Everything from the sword to the sheet to the expression to the tap shoes is spot-on. And his outfit? He's got harem pants! He's got a stylish shirt! He's got wraps around his hands! He's doing a dance move! Man-bun Fabian is now officially canon!

(Also, I'm never gonna shut up about how the Bad Kids are now all spellcasters, and almost all of them are different than how they were in freshman year because that's how growing up works! Fig's ditched College of Whispers as she learns to be truer to herself and has claimed the coolness of College of Lore, and she's got some warlock action to be closer to her dad! Kristen's a Twilight Domain cleric instead of the Life Domain, and I remember being so excited when that became official because that domain is so freaking cool! Riz is an Arcane Trickster, just! Like! Penny! Gorgug's an artificer as well as a barbarian, which is one of my favorite classes, and it looks like he's leaning even further into it! And we can't forget Fabian double-classing as a College of Swords bard! It's so beautiful! It's amazing! Maybe we'll get Adaine doing a martial multiclass to round out the "we're doing different things!" ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!)

[heliza24]

“I don’t know if I’m artist, I’m just a really good friend” said in a DnD game, the most collaborative of art forms, the place you tell stories with your friends 😭 Fig baby you can be both, you are both. Fig/Emily has every right to explore different classes and maybe decide to move away from bard but I do hope Fig realizes that she has created a false dichotomy. Being an artist isn’t selfish. Creating art for someone can be such an act of love.

Relatedly I really missed Ayda this episode. I think her clear eyed-ness really helps Fig see herself. Fig really could have used her support in trying to figure out what she wants.

There’s something so painful about the canon aroace character being the only one to be able to take stress for his friends. When you’re aro/ace and you’re not gonna have a romantic relationship your friends are so important to you, and you’ll take on stress for them in the way that some people would with a romantic partner. That’s how it feels for me anyway.

Nothing as good as Brennan’s excitement when someone nails his mystery. Emily looked so proud when Murph cracked it. And Murph was loving Emily’s class confusion so much. I love how they support each other at the table.

I felt such relief that Kristen was able to salvage a little bit of her connection with Cassandra. I loved that doubt has meant escape from oppressive systems of thought for her.

I guess I’m thinking a lot about the relationships in this episode, huh? Everyone rolled for academics and extracurriculares and even the mystery. But no one really rolled for relationships when it came to the bad kids themselves (Fabian and Ivy/Mazy does not count). I think my biggest fear is that the stress tokens are going to result in fractures within the group, that their friendship isn’t going to withstand academic exhaustion and dead gods and identity crises. That’s part of the arc, I’m sure, but it’s a part I really want to be resolved well.

On a silly note the fraction of a second where I could see Brennan’s magic wheel of improv scrolling behind his eyes before he landed on “lick me” for Baby? Pure gold.

[apollo-justice-irl]

we should consider the bad kids end up growing apart after graduation without a breakup. it's not intentional, there isn't any hostility between them, they just ended up doing different things. they do their best to keep up with each other, but it eventually it stops being daily check ins. it becomes once a week, then once every other, then once a month, until eventually they find out what's going on through the occasional instagram post. they love each other, they support each other, they just don't talk like they used to.

fig splits her time between leviathan and solace, not caring about her band's popularity anymore, and just focuses on what makes her happy. sometimes she writes a song about ayda but mostly they just live in the moment together.

adaine is in fallinel trying to rebrand the elven oracle as being everyone's oracle. she reconnects with her roots, and meets the family she has in fallinel still. they also think her parents sucked, but theyre glad to meet adaine.

kristen spends time finding herself. she spreads the word of cassandra, having reconnected with her and working through their differences. cassandra becomes a goddess for people questioning their sexuality, gender, religion, anything. theres also a small group of rogues and PI's who started following cassandra for the mystery part of "goddess of mystery and doubt", and because gods reflect their worshippers cassandra becomes a cool rogue type.

fabian opens a dance studio. he uses his trust fund money to make it so his students don't actually have to pay, but if they feel inclined they can donate to help the school. he helps his students when he notices signs of neglect or abuse. he knows how much it sucks to be neglected. he goes to therapy and eventually stops getting into toxic relationships. he gets along with gilear.

gorgug becomes a mechanic. he has a lot of fun working on the hangvan and it's nice working with tools. he tinkers for fun and makes stuff to sell on whatever their version of etsy is. he visits his biological parents, and they start to feel like family, too. he stays in elmville but does eventually move into an apartment where he doesn't break his bed every morning. he still visits his parents all the time.

riz hones his skills with magic. he takes a level or two in bard, and eventually becomes a spy like his dad. his mom is so proud of him, and it's nice to feel connected to his dad. he still uses the tools and gadgets he got while at aguefort, but he has a lot more now. he reconnects with penny and they start trading tips/tricks/stories from their jobs. he comes out as aroace, and it's the most free he's felt in a long time. he can finally mean it when he says it's good pressure.

[whatisamildopinion]

fig dropping out makes complete sense for her character, and I truly don't think this will negatively affect her friendships with the other Bad Kids, because that group is so attached to one another. but I feel like we have glossed over a truly hilarious aspect of fig dropping out, which is that she is 100% going to be the most annoying person in the entire stadium when the Bad Kids graduate.

like, forget the parents and guardians of the Bad Kids. figueroth "I think I'm just a really good friend" faeth, the archdevil of rebellion herself, is going to be in the audience seats screaming her head off when they cross the stage. she is a world-renowned bard and you better believe she is putting some magic in those screams. the walls are shaking. banners are falling. the bleachers are rattling. those are HER BEST FRIENDS graduating and she is SO PROUD OF THEM.

the parents are whooping a little bit in the way that is acceptable at high school graduations. fig and ragh, also in the crowd, have secret bullhorns that they have saved just for this purpose, and they probably roped ayda in to do some magic fireworks too. after all, who would ever stop them? aguefort probably helped them sneak the stuff in

[number1rizgukgakstan]

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 18 LIVEBLOG

It's that time again! Spoilers below the cut!

The only CW being underage drinking + drug use is fascinating- I assume that means no one dies? At least, not like Buddy did.

I'm SO excited looking at that set it's so fucking cool. The crackling in the fake clouds? HOLY SHIT the modeling team went OFF I love their work.

I FORGOT JAWBONE'S THERE. AND SO IS EUGENIA. This is so insane I'm so excited.

"Airitime law" God I love you so much Zach you are SO FUNNY

The WHOLE school is here that's so funny. Does this mean the clubs Riz joined are going to come into play?? GERTIE??? GERTIE???? HEY GERTIE???

The divine domain idea is so fascinating but I would like to say- imagine worshiping a god named Porter. I'm crying laughing.

CURSED GOLD PIECE??? FUCK YEAH GO FOR IT FABIAN

RAGH IS HERE??? FUCK YEAH!

Okay we're getting the NPCS set up? Fuck yeah

FIG NO WHY ARE YOU WANDA CHILDA???? THATS SO FUNNY. Gerard Neigh I'm CRYING. I love Armor of Ayda and the Spirit Guardians.

VULTURE KING LIVER + TALON FOR FABIAN In BAD! BABY! MILK!

WHY IS GORGUG SWALLOWING THE HEART LIKE A PILL??? INSANE

EAT THE FEATHER??? FIG YOU DON"T HAVE TO EAT IT ITS JUST WHEN BROKEN [sobs]

"You're wearing an Orangutang mask and the skull of the Vulture King?"

"And I'm speaking Vulture.

"And you're speaking Vulture."

Adaine is so brilliant I love her.

K2 giving Kristen basically a whole extra turn is so funny. We love K2.

They have so many spells prepared I love it. Fabian's party sounds sick as hell. Even the Bad Baby milk sounds fun. Disgusting but fun.

I feel like using the NMK against Kristen is a bad idea but will have terrible consequences for Kristen, who's silly goofyness has been coming back to bite them. IDK we'll see

Fabian faking it till he makes it is SO FUNNY.

Baby and Baby Baby being here's so fucking funny. Let's go Baby and Baby Baby!

Fabian's HOUSE burning down would be devastating but maybe it'd make his mother come home

CANNONS!!! PUT BABY BABY ON THE CANNONS

They have to DO ELECTIONS and RUN THE PARTY WHILE FIGHTING??? BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN THIS IS INSANE I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

Kristen and K2 helping Riz load the canon is so wholesome. They're such a great team

NOOOO FABIAN HAS THE PACMAN TATTOO [laughing crying] RIP

1/4th of the party voting in one turn is absurd. Fabian's charisma is INSANE i love this man and his conga line

Jawbone once again completely out of the loop and just going with it is great.

I now see why Sprak has his own art.

The music video idea was genuis. Emily Axford is such a quick thinker and her performance as Fig is top-knotch.

Oisin summoning dragons breaks my heart. NOOO you were so cool :( now Adaine has to Furious Fist Mega Punch you to death

This fight is honestly so fucking metal. The music video, Fabian killing a dragon singlehandidly, Riz murdering two with the canons, all the Dex saves, Gorgug's excellent driving, JAWBONE, the voting drive... honestly I'm so proud of the Bad Kids and how far they've come.

ANOTHER GORGUG NAT 20 HOLY SHIT! Zac's really fucking it up right now. 7d12 is absurd

Wanda Childa running the party is so insane and I love it. It's Emily Axford's world and we're just living in it.

Eugenia Shadow is amazing. Best NPC by far.

"Can I bring a vulture to give me the help action?" absurd request. brennan's face was brilliant. Again: ITS EMILY AXFORD'S WORLD AND WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT.

The fight. Every moment was incredible. They really did slay those god damn dragons. No one had to make a single death save. The party was popping. Fig was constantly being the fucking COOLEST. Fabian telling Gorgug not to crash his parent's boat. Eugenia Shadow telling Riz he's the best student she's ever had. It was brilliant. Excellent.

"Sorry Oisin, shouldn't have been such a douchebag, we're gonna kill your grandma now" BRILLIANT. 10/10. I love it.

AS SOON AS SHE SAID DIVINE INTERVENTION I FUCKING CHEERED. K2 DIES TO SAVE THE WORLD BY SAYING "BLIMEY" NOT FUCKING CLICKBAIT.

Zac doing the dm bit is so funny.

K2 not knowing shit and pulling off a miracle is such pure Kristen its so fucking brilliant. THE UNCERTAINTY OF MAYBE BEING PREGNANT IS INSANE. I love Ally Beardsley.

Brennan's reaction to the pregnancy bit is so fucking funny. They broke this man's spirit in the funniest way possible.

"Haunted Wizard Clone Mini Golf Lightning Extravaganza" is the single funniest string of words imaginable. Brennan Lee Mulligan you are my favorite comedian ever.

"How much of this can we cut out, do you think?" Ally this is your bed, you have to lie in it, I'm so sorry. Funniest roll of all time.

WE ALMOST GOT THE GOLD TORNADO?? NOOOOOO.

Circling back, the flavor of Armor of Ayda is so cute. Ayda's protection is always over Fig no matter where she is.

THEY FUCKING DID IT GANG! Now for the penultimate battle! :]

The previews are making me go insane. RATGRINDERS FIGHT RATGRINDERS FIGHT RATGRINDERS FIGHT!

"I think I have to try" is making me so fucking excited. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING FIG????

LETS FUCKING GO! NEXT WEEK BABYYYYYY

[thecryptidzenith]

4 & 5 for the fic ask game!

I'm doing Midnight Oil for both of these because. Duh. It's my 150k baby and it gets bigger every week.

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

Oh, there are quite a lot of these. I'm fond of my little Hagatha Misty through-line, I find it amusing. Aelwyn's phone number is (320) 326-4444, which on an alphanumeric keypad is (D20) FAN-HIGH. Kalina's refusal to speak Sylvan despite it being her native language is significant, I also tend to use phrases which reference angels in regards towards her, because while she's not technically one, she's still an agent of divine will. Another Kalina one: I've described her eyes as 'arsenic green' and I think that's very appropriate for her character on several levels.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

Question: Do you have any cut scenes, alternate takes, or implied moments that you're particularly fond of?

Answer: Yes! So many! I always intended to have a section in Gravalvia where Riz learns how to cheat at poker, but with my chapter lengths, it didn't quite work out. In that same vein, the original version of Fabian & Riz's adventures in Leviathan just involved Ayda, Fabian, and Riz getting shuffled off to a kids corner at the King's Day party, and Riz cheating them all at poker. When he gets found out, he very narrowly escapes the Gold Gardens and spends the rest of the night on the streets.

I haven't technically gotten to this point in the story yet, but I don't think my little Fantasy Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is going to quite fit with what I have planned, so I will go ahead and talk about it here. (And if it does end up making the cut, that's fine, I've got more than enough secrets up my sleeves, this little slip is nothing.)

Somehow, because of Shenanigans, Angwyn Abernant hears that his eldest is dating a goblin (false, but Shenanigans) and demands to meet this boyfriend. Cue the worst dinner of all time. Angwyn is fuming, Arianwen wants a new lab rat, and Adaine's conflicted. Like, Aelwyn is actually in trouble for once, and who the fuck in their right mind would want to date her, but the reason she's in trouble is bullshit. Also, she can't tell if this boyfriend actually looks like Sklonda, or if she's only ever met two goblins (the answer is yes.) Aelwyn and Riz are both on their Best Behavior, very polite, as charming as possible, (for Riz, as ungoblinlike as possible, which is difficult while eating) and incredibly tight lipped. They both have a lot of secrets and they've rehearsed their story very well, but that doesn't mean it's not a tightrope. A terrible time for everyone, except Kalina, who absolutely hangs around spiritually munching on popcorn. She's here for the drama. For fuck's sake, her ship is Fake Dating, she's thrilled. (Me too, bitch. Minus the shipping, ofc)

[drrutherford]

What are the 5 Important female relationships in Gideon's life?

Taking out family cause that's too easy, as well as characters that are not currently in play like Nora (bff) and Diana. Also taking out Amélie for this one (sorry Amélie) bc she's in a slightly different category in relation to Gideon at this point in time than the ones below. In no particular order, then, the following ladies come especially to mind:

Eleanor — He's known her almost as long as he's known the Rutherfords themselves. Somehow, looking back, he sees Eleanor in most of his childhood memories, smiling in the periphery. Always trailing after Lara and Adri, undoubtedly, but always there. Always a friend to the family, always a constant. As they've gotten older, he's keen to make it known that the feeling is mutual, and that he'll always be a constant for her too, should she ever have need for it. After catching Olivier Fontaine threatening her during the Awards After-Party, that protective instinct has surfaced more overtly in him, and he's determined to figure out what kind of trouble she's gotten herself into, and if there's a way he can help. @eleanorxshipley

Cassandra — They go back ages, they have a complicated history and a connection that's often been described as a love/hate dynamic by others. There's a lot of ingroup loyalty there, despite all the jokes about nepotism and elitist educational experiences. He also has a lot of respect for her political career and her outspokenness on ethical topics. Even though I suspect if he were to find out about some of her sympathies for the French/mob-affiliated French, he'd consider it to be hypocritical on her part and would lose some respect for her political stances accordingly. That said though, his loved ones are his Achilles' heel, and Cassandra, whether she knows it or not, has earned a spot in that circle that would take a lot for her to lose. @cassandra-acton

Ayda — A newer and far more recent entry to the list, and because of that the depth of this connection is (inevitably) a little less invested than the rest. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her. They've spent time together on and off over the last few months, and there are a lot of qualities he cherishes in her. He's rooting for Ayda, and she's someone he'd like to see happy. He's also made a promise to her brother to keep an eye out for her, and whether or not he trusts Hasan, he intends to keep his word. For her sake, and out of respect for the uphill battle that she choose by leaving behind a life of crime, even if she's still loyal to her people. But this also makes their connection a little bittersweet, because he's mindful of the fact that life may pit them against one another or force them eventually to take sides. @ayda--demir

Jessica — They've had their ups and downs, but somehow the downs have only brought them closer. This isn't something Gideon takes for granted, as many of his friendships have fallen apart exactly when the going got tough. In a humbling way, what's won him over the most when it comes to Jess' character is her capacity for forgiveness, even when he didn't deserve it. Heck, even when he was too proud to ask for it. Although he's not the type of man to make explicit declarations of fuzzy feelings, this experience was one that's ultimately earned Jess his hard-won trust, and his fidelity to their friendship. The other stuff; their shared commiseration of working in the NHS, the hospital banter, common traumas they've survived, are merely additional layers on that foundation. @jessi-reyes

Alexis — What is it about some of the oldest connections in his social circle that get so damn complicated?? This might seem a surprising entry for the list, but it isn't, not to Gideon. There's a lot of bad blood between them, a lot of misunderstanding, and lot of ways in which he's felt hurt by Alexis, too. That said, there's little he wouldn't do for her, if push came to shove. He'd defend her against any naysayers and protect her to the best of his ability, if needed. A lot of this does come down to loyalty to his best friend, Spencer, but that isn't to say it'd be his only motivation for sticking his neck out for her. Spencer's also been with women in the past that Gideon did not respect and would not protect. But he respects Alexis; he always has. She's smart, funny, and she can go toe-to-toe with Spencer as few people can. Selfishly, Gideon wishes she had a better opinion of him, but that doesn't change the fact that she's important to him, even if the feeling isn't mutual. @alexislarsson

[exoploring]

Just finished fhsy and wow I LOVE THE WHOLE JOURNEY AND HOW IT ENDED

Spoilers i suppose for those who havent seen bcause by Helio i have so many thots and i watched this to prepare for junior yr

Gorgug gaining more confidence in his strengths and smarts !!! He felt inferior to his friends, thinking y would he be considered special in their team when all he does is tank damage bUT NO first of all that is impoetant but also !!!! hes their friend and thats whst rlly matters (same journey for riz as well w regards to friendship 🥰)

Fig finding confidence and comfort in her own skin !!! Not just thru becoming a rockstar but thru meeting and falling in love w ayda and her mending her relationship further w her mom and understanding her and also growihg alongside her friends

Adaine having a family that loves her and healing her relationship with her sister and her facing her fears and her future and probs becoming at peace with it (god the rest of the bad kids dying in the future and her being the only one left of the main crew must fuckin hurt but i will not think abt it 💗)

Riz meeting his dad and and HIS MOM SAYING THAT SHES SO PROUD HES LIKE HIM and also and also HIM NOT FEELING LIKE A LOSER (and even if he is him having the comfort that his friends and the ppl who matter will love him regardless)

Fabian's shedding of his toxic masculinity and his redemption and his blind worship of his father (him being critical of his dad AND being comfy to be critical and finding that his dad will love him no matter what was gr8) and slowly starting to find his footing again as himself, and this time be truly himself !!! AND THAT FRIENDSHIP IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS ROMANTIC LOVE YES THANK U

And Kristen. Mfucking. Applebees. I saw a comment on yt abt how shes the MC (i mean her fuckin rolls r so poetic and the nightmare king being her new god dors give mc vibes and tbvh i love it) yet she loves and we love the bad kids so kuch they all are the MCs in the story . wait where was i going w this ah yes THE JOURNEY THAT IS DOUBT AND BEING OK W QUESTIONING AND NOT DECIDING IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE HEY, SHES JUST A KID, IS SO IMPORTANT

The season may have been a pain to watch sometimes (like fabians Bad Day and kristens mishaps with tracker were rough) but the pain was necessary for growth to be more "earned" and gratifying. shout out to the intrepid heroes for acting their characters and their journeys and growth really amazingly and of course to brennan for being such a gr8 dm, creating a compelling mystery and story

I have so many more thots (like the growth of bad kids becoming family that will do everything for their team --fabian crashing goldenrod to save riz, kristen healing riz first before herself to save him, bad kids rushing to fallinel to save adaine, them never blaming fig when she was possessed-- thruout both seasons was so amazing, and how theyre cohesively acting as a team in battles)

Tl;dr great season, cant fucking wait for junior yr hOOT GROWL

[ayda--demir]

Türk Kasabı

Feb 3, 2023

Ayda was finding that she was keeping herself busier than normal. She had learned to pace herself when it came to volunteering in the Haringey community, but lately, it seemed she would expend herself to near exhaustion. For her, it was better to give back than find the bottom of a bottle. 

One extreme for another. 

She pushes open the door, hearing the bell chime, and smiles brightly when she is greeted by the tall bulky Turk behind the glass showcases of meat. 

“Ayda, you don’t come until a couple days?” Mr. Kaplan questioned, surprised to see her but always happy to have her come by. 

“I had a little free time and I wanted to sort through the office. Come up with a better system.” It worked fine, but she needed a way to stay busy. The brunette had been avoiding talking to people and trying to sort through everything going on in her head. She hated lying to the man in front of her. 

He nods his head at her, his beady eyes studying her and though she was certain he could see through her lie, he wasn’t going to mention it. “You know the way to the office. I will package you some meat to take home.” There was an air in his tone that she was not to deny his offer. 

She tried to refuse the packages when she first started to come to help him. Ayda didn’t need to be repaid for her kindness. Someone had to care for the state of their community, and if the little she could do would help those that mattered to her growing up, then that is what she would do. She would give them her time, especially when the man lost his wife of forty years.

He had no idea how to do the ordering or any of the paperwork. Mr. Kaplan took care of the shop and the late Mrs. Kaplan would take care of the office work. They worked so well together. She even remembered their son, Cemil. He had to be around Hasan’s age, but was off in the States for work. His father always beamed about his son and how well he did. He was a proud Papa. 

A family that truly loved each other the proper way. 

The office was familiar to her. She plops down into the chair looking over the desk in front of her. Everything was already organised the way she wanted months ago. It was all in a system that worked efficiently for her. She pulls out a couple folders, sorting through the papers in there, looking to make sure everything was there. It was a way for her to take her mind off the intruding thoughts. The mess she had weaved herself into always seemed to pull her deeper. 

Falling into a rhythm, she hadn’t noticed how quickly the time passed until there was a knock at the door that startled her, pushing quickly off the desk and back into a sitting position in the chair, looking at Mr. Kaplan when he opened the door. 

“It has been three hours, Ayda.” He looked her over, the same concern earlier still written in his features. “Have you not been sleeping?” There was no hiding the dozy look she had plastered all over her features. Her hands came up to rub her eyes. 

“I have.” A few hours a night, but it was hard wanting to be there for Mrs. Aksoy in the early morning and her bar, the late nights there. Sometimes she would sleep on the couch in her office and make her way over to the bakery in the morning. 

She was running. 

“The shop is closed. Let me cook you dinner and then you go home to bed.” He was chastising her like a father would their daughter, and it hit her differently. The part of her that missed her family, even if her father was a monster. 

“Evet, but you have to let me help.” Ayda lifts from the chair, grabbing her bag, and convincing herself to enjoy this moment of someone giving back to her. 

[pldubrahs]

"I was unconscious"

"I think you were asleep"

Jesus christ i love this dynamic

[mxrstar]

HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS? a d20 fanzine

[ID:

It is a digital drawing on a light brown paper-like background. You can see a mirror in the middle of it, and four characters emerging from each corner of the page. The middle is broken, and it says “HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS?” which is the title of the book. under the mirror you can read the subtitle: “I think I have lost myself somewhere along the way.”  The four characters are Aelwyn, Sam, Caramelinda and Ayda.  Caramelinda is Black woman, she is wearing a small crown and has an empty, pained expression on her face. She is drawn entirely in red.  Sam is a Black girl and a water genasi. She has long flowy hair that resembles sea waves at the ends. There are tears in her eye and she is wearing a white hat. She has her hair styled in long locs and is drawn entirely in light blue. Ayda is Black girl and half-phoenix. She has wings and small old-fashioned glasses. Her hair is short and curly. She is drawn entirely in orange.  Aelwyn is a white girl and an elf. She has long flowy hair and three earrings on her elf-like ear. She is drawn entirely in pink.

/end ID]

[ beautiful cover art done by the incredibly talented @andromelite from twitter. ]

hello everyone! this zine is part of the @d20zinejam which you can find here. donation cost will go to the Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project (WRRAP). being a part of this project has been so cool and you all should check out other people's projects.

this zine is a tale about fear, loss, anger and loneliness. the story is told in rhymes in the style of a children's book, through the perspectives and life experiences of Aelwyn, Sam, Caramelinda and Ayda.

it has an audiobook in the itch.io page linked in the title + a drive page with an ID for all images and text.

this was a lot of work but im so proud of it!! collaborating with other artists was absolutely amazing and creatively very fulfilling, thank you to all everyone who worked with me on this and thank you to @d20zinejam for putting this together. i hope you like this and thank you for reading if you do <3

[deconstructthesoup]

Decided to finally revisit my Fantasy High class swap AU, Closer To Fine, and I've ironed out their journey to fit with Junior Year:

Riz: Stays a School of Illusion wizard throughout the story, though his thing of being a wizard in part to prove a point comes to a head in JY, when he's the only person in class who doesn't have the money to afford spell components---and he also has to worry about scholarships on top of that. Not only is he joining every school activity, but he's also doing whatever job will take him, and he's definitely stretching himself too thin.

Adaine: Stays a College of Creation bard throughout the story, but she does take two levels of wizard in JY due to her finally accepting that she's the Oracle---not the Elven Oracle, just the Oracle. (Adaine's Furious Fist is a bard and wizard spell in this story, btw!) She also struggles with inspiration and writing songs due to how stressful school has become---not to mention, she also has to worry about her own financial troubles---which leads to her both falling behind in class and having a hard time with her label. Knowing that she's a bard and has Fig's fame in this story, I figured it would be interesting to balance learning how to be a kid after leaving a shitty situation with the pressures of being in the public eye, especially when you're still struggling with anxiety.

Fabian: Stays a Swashbuckler rogue throughout the story, but becomes a Fiend/Pact of the Blade warlock in Sophomore Year after he meets Bill in Hell. His arc in JY is about how he's struggling to balance wanting to make his own name for himself while still showing his father that he's beginning to appreciate what he did for him, and his warlock pact and powers reflect that---his spells are more unpredictable if he's feeling in conflict with Bill, and they're easier to manage when Fabian thinks that he's doing something that'll make Bill proud... and yeah, he definitely feels some self-esteem issues when his spells get better the more he acts like a Seacaster. I always love it when a warlock's patron is their estranged parent.

Gorgug: Starts out as an Eldritch Knight fighter in Freshman Year, switches up to be a Samurai fighter in Sophomore Year after he reconnects with his birth parents and stops letting his fear of not being good enough get in the way of what he does, and multiclasses into a College of Valor bard in the middle of Sophomore Year with Adaine's help. His JY arc was harder to figure out, since the canon one is so specific to him being a Barbarian/Artificer, but I decided that it's still about him learning how to be his own kind of adventurer and combining the skills that come from his biological and adoptive parents, just in a different light. No longer just a protector, now something that's freer and wilder and more him. (Also, I just love the idea of him having enchanted drumsticks that can turn into swords. And him fighting with a magic drumset that he can summon at will. Fighter bards are so cool.)

Kristen: Starts out as a Zealot barbarian in Freshman Year, switches up to Wild Magic barbarian after trying out Yes!/? and realizing that it doesn't work for her (almost rejecting religion entirely), and multiclasses into a paladin once she makes the decision to have Cassandra as her deity---specifically, an Oath of Redemption paladin. Her arc in JY is not only learning how to properly deal with a god that works for her while balancing her own mental health struggles (ADHD queen, we stan), but also about balancing her own rage and deciding to lean more into a pacifist stance of reaching out and finding comfort in the unknown and unpredictable... which is difficult to do, seeing as she's Porter's student and he's in charge of her MCAT, and he wants her to be an angry Zealot instead of what she's got going on.

Fig: Starts out as a Trickster Domain cleric in Freshman Year, multiclasses into an Alchemist artificer in Sophomore Year after becoming close with Ayda and realizing that she likes experimentation and learning way more about how truly weird and wonderful magic is, and switches to a Light Domain cleric in Junior Year. She still gets the Gilear curse, though it's her Blesses that have a backlash and not Bardics, and I think she decides in part to worship Ankarna because, well, as an Archdevil, she's a peer of Asmodeus now, and the time in her life when she really needed them has passed. They're cool with it, though.

[fabrizqueersubtext]

I know we’re not for sure getting to see them all the way through senior year but I’m so emo thinking about a Bad Kids graduation—

- Riz def pulled an all nighter the night before working on a case and shows up right before they walk bc Sklonda pulled him up out of his work when she got home from a shift and did that thing where she licked her thumb to get ink off his face and they had a cute moment before she was like “we are late—we have to fucking go, kiddo!” Late that night, they go to Pok’s grave and give a play-by-play of the day.

- Gorgug spends like an hour with Wilma and Digby over-politely debating how close they should sit to where he’s sitting and where he wants them to be. He and Zelda take a really cute picture in front of the school where he’s giving her a piggy back ride before she runs off to find the rest of the Seven (given the plot of the Seven she might already have graduated??) He’s kind of early so he sits awkwardly in the line up spot just chilling listening to hard rock.

- Fabian gets woken up by Cathilda, who hands him presents and letter from his dad. He rides to school as normal on the Hangman but as soon as they meet up he’s like being loud and laughing about the good times but full on the brink of tears the whole time. He def cries when the first of them walks (which should actually be Adaine) and does not stop. 🥺

- Adaine, Kristin, and Fig show up together from the Manor. Jawbone just nods a lot and keeps telling them how proud he is. Sandra Lynn takes an ungodly amount of pictures of each of them separately and all of them together. Aelwyn does Adaine’s hair and make-up and says stuff like “it’s no Hudol” but also is trying to cover up how proud she is. Adaine knows. She walks proudly, head up, with Boggy on her shoulder.

-Kristen and Tracker fully have sex that morning, and Tracker just tries to show her how proud she is. Kristen wears a fitted suit and probably has a shaved head tbh. She has a huge pride button on the front of her grad gown that’s like a little too big. She and Tracker go get matching tattoos the next day, probably of the moon or something.

- Fig is acting like it’s not a big deal as Sandra Lynn takes a million pictures of her getting ready to go. At graduation, Ayda sits with Gorthalax, who yells uncomfortably loud when Fig walks— he def does that dad whistle thing. Gilear buys her a six pack of yogurt and as VP is reading off the names. He fucks up Fig’s and the microphone has an ungodly amount of feedback. Fig posts a Bad Kids group picture later that week with a song teaser for a song she wrote about all of them that goes viral.

After, they all go to Basrar’s and just eat ice cream very chaotically in their assortment of disheveled levels of grad hats and gowns and nice clothes. Basrar takes a Polaroid of the six of them out front, laughing arm-in-arm. And then Riz realizes something about a case or something attacks and they’re off, onto the next one…

[primsycoldbottles]

ohhhh im having Thoughts im having Thoughts!!! i think adaines magic is like... soft, blobby, and light blue that swirls and moves like water and aelwyn is the opposite. her magic looks sharp and static-y like lightning. and it looks so much like their dads magic. aelwyn was once proud of it, adaine's magic looking nothing like either of their parents, but aelwyn was a perfect copy, and she was praised for it.

but then the events of sophmore year happens and aelwyn hates her magic for months. she can see the crackles of light in her wards and it makes her never wants to use magic again. it takes so long, so many attempts of getting her magic to look different, for her to even have a positive association come back with the appearance of her spells.

it starts with fig just, not knowing what aelwyn knows, thinking the lightning looking so fucking badass. then ayda joining in and remarking how the appearance of arcana can change so severely person-to-person, and that its fascinating to see how striking aelwyns is. maybe someone like jawbone compliments her on learning a new spell, and how cool it looks when she casts it, light crackling between her fingers. and those are all nice n all. but it takes until adaine makes a comment on how, when aelwyn casts something like protection from evil and good, it feels like a warm tingle on her skin. on how it makes adaine feel safe, having her sisters magic protect her before she heads out for a day at school, before aelwyn really finds power in herself. shes not her dad, in the same way adaine isnt a mistake. she doesnt have to hate the power she was given, she can use it to help in the ways her father only used to hurt. she could be the frizz in adaines hair that lets her dear little sister sneak around with the aid of a nondetection spell, instead of the painful zap of magic their father would punish adaine with if she 'misbehaved'.

idk where im going with this tbh. i just think adaine and aelwyn reclaiming their existences and their magic in different (but equally as important) ways in the absence of their horrible parents, and the love they express for each other during that growth, is smthn thats so emotional and personal. i love them both so much.....

[alliecorinneee]

Ayda and Fig Coffee Shop Fluff

·       Ayda shows up 20 minutes early to get used to the space (the music, the talking, the smells, the ambient coffeeshop noises without Fig’s distracting… um, everything)

·       She would wait to order a drink until Fig got there so she wouldn’t finish her drink faster than Fig or have it gotten cold while waiting for Fig

·       She gets a table; the baristas know her and know she will get a drink when her girlfriend gets there

·       Ayda kind of watches and takes mental notes of things to mention to Fig when she gets there

·       Ayda has a compass points canvas bag that Fig and Kristin helped her make and Adaine gave her buttons and patches

o   The buttons are Fig and the Sig Figs, rainbows, she/her pronoun, punny pins about books and spells and other magic things. Also, buttons are separated so they don’t click against each other.

·       The bag is full of textbooks, spell books, one or two of the books on autism that Jawbone gave her (the book/s are full of sticky notes and bookmarks. Passages are highlighted, only in her books that she owns, and notes fil the margins)

·       After a few minutes of getting okay with the setting, Ayda pulls a couple books out and starts laying out the order of her work she wants to get done at the coffeeshop while trying to be realistic about the amount of time she will be paying attention to Fig (purposefully and not purposely)

·       Fig walks in about 5 minutes before the planned time, but looks like she is STRUGGLING.

·       She goes straight to the counter to order her coffee (black coffee with splash of vanilla) and Ayda’s drink (straight up latte) and then looked around to find where Ayda was. She knows Ayda gets there early (and Fig respects that Ayda needs time alone) so she just tries to find where Ayda set up.

·       She is at a table in the back and her nose was deep in a book, but she seems to feel Fig looking at her because she looks up and makes eye contact.

·       Fig motions to the counter hopefully signaling that she got hers and Ayda’s coffee. Ayda just sends a message cantrip you her and says “I think you are saying you got our coffee and thank you for that, but the pointing was kind of confusing. I thought this would be easier”

·       Fig nods and says, “Fair. Sorry, tired. Be over in a sec.” Ayda nods and dismisses the spell.

·       Fig hears the barista call out their drinks and grabs both the mugs after adjusting her bag to make sure she can carry everything and not spill the drinks.

·       She focuses intensely on the full mugs and begins walking toward Ayda.

·       Ayda focuses on Fig. Fig is wearing ripped black jeans, combat boots that make her slightly taller, but not nearly as tall as Ayda, and she is wearing a t-shirt with the original neck cut out so her collarbone and tank top straps are visible.

·       Ayda notes the Fig’s bag was haphazardly swinging as she was walking with the two mugs. Although Fig was focusing on the mugs and to not spill them, she was not watching the tables or chairs that were in her way. She was slightly kicking the chairs and table legs in her way but definitely testing her luck.

·       Ayda moves the last few chairs out of the way with a spell just to make sure that Fig makes it to the table with less distractions

·       Fig gets to the table, very proud and smiling, Ayda can’t help but smile back at her. They both kind of giggle as she sets the coffees on the table. Fig slumps down in the chair looking exhausted with a lazy smile.

·       Ayda says, “Good morning Fig. I can see you may be a bit tired. Is there anything I can do to help at all? I am pretty awake, but I can also be quiet and slow down if you would like.”

·       Figs smile grows as Ayda talk. She loves when Ayda tries to help on things that are commonplace and remind Fig how lucky she is to have her.

·       Ayda takes note: explaining more could get Fig to smile at her.

·       Fig says, “Eh it’s okay, just need to drink this coffee and I’ll be a lot more awake. Did anything happen this morning before I got here?”

·       Ayda settles after Fig’s confirmation that the coffee will help and then goes to talk about the interesting things she had observed.

·       Fig started drinking her coffee and taking in everything Ayda was saying while also just watching her. She noticed Ayda hadn’t been making eye contact while she was talking. This made it easier to take Ayda in. She was wearing plaid high waisted crop pants with her shirt tucked into them. She was wearing a white sweater tank that has a turtleneck. Fig notes that the shirt is very flattering because Ayda’s arms are fully on display. It is actually pretty distracting. Fig has realized that Ayda has stopped talking and is looking at Fig. Fig has also realized she has been looking at Ayda’s arms for way too long.

·       Ayda is looking at Fig and trying to decipher what Fig was looking at, realizing it was her arms, Ayda starts looking at her arms and squinting and concentrating. She then asks, “Do I have something on my arms? Are my tattoos shining weird? You have been looking at them for a significant amount of time, so something must be not normal.”

·       Fig blushed deeply and stutters out, “ oh… um I uh No. There is nothing not normal about your arms.”

·       Ayda cocks her head and says, “ That was a double negative, but what I think you were trying to say was maybe There is nothing wrong or everything is okay about my arms.” Ayda pauses, looks at Fig and makes a list. 1. Fig’s cheeks were pinker than her normal coloring 2. Fig was staring at the table and not making eye contact 3. Fig seemed like she was fully awake now

·       Ayda turns her arms over and over and twisted her shoulders just to move her arms under her eyes. She looks back up at Fig. Fig has yet to look up.

·       Ayda starts to put the pieces together and smiles. “You were looking at my arms, on purpose.” She did not think that Fig’s cheeks could get pinker. She was wrong.

·       Fig finally looked up without really moving her head. Her eyes met Ayda’s and she slouches a bit in her chair to look directly at Ayda.

·       “Maybe I… Maybe I was,” and Fig’s face was burning, but she wanted to make her point clear to Ayda. She took a deep breath and made eye contact with Fig. “Yes. I was looking at your arms because” She takes another deep breath. Because they look really uh they look really good in that shirt, “ but she is fully mumbling.

·       Ayda cocks her head again. “Wait, you spoke rather quickly, and I did not catch all of it. You said you were looking because…” and left it open ended.

·       Fig’s voice bursts out, “YOUR ARMS LOOK REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW!”

·       Fig and Ayda’s eyes both widen.

·       Fig, because she realized she kind of yelled that at Ayda in a pretty public place. She did not want to know if anyone heard and definitely couldn’t turn around to check.

·       Ayda was surprised by the volume but was still able to put the puzzle pieces together.

o   Fig always suggested to go fly which resulted in Ayda carrying Fig in her arms

o   Fig was prone to tracing Ayda’s tattoos up and down her arms

o   Fig seemed flustered when Ayda came back from a long fly or sparing.

o   Conclusion: Fig liked Ayda’s arms. Significantly.

·       Ayda files this knowledge with all of her other Fig facts.

·       Ayda smiles very big, lets out a tiny screech and visibly relaxes. She looks up to meet Fig’s eyes, flexes her arms and says, “This shirt does allow for a lot of my arm to be visible.”

·       Fig’s jaw drops and under her breath says, “Holy shit” in response to the automatic flex Ayda did once she complimented Ayda’s arms. Fig is really trying to not combust. It is too early, and she had not come close to finishing her coffee. Ayda was flirting and just sitting there like that and Fig was not prepared.

·       Ayda smiles again and asks, “Are you going to keep staring at me or are we going to get some work done?” Ayda grabs Fig’s hands to convey that her question was genuine.

·       Fig blushes for a third time, or maybe she never truly stopped, squeezes Ayda’s hands and mumble, “Let’s get some work done.”

·       Ayda focuses back on her spell books, takes notes, does research. Follows her routine she has set for herself to make sure she gets the most amount of work done she can but also enjoy Fig’s company.

·       Fig pulls her notebook out of her bag. The black journal it started as is now covered with stickers and patches. It’s not dirty, it’s loved. The elastic band around it is the only thing holding it together with all the random napkins and pieces of paper that she has written lyrics on when her notebook wasn’t with her.

·       Fig sits with one of her legs folded so her knee is in the air close to her cheek and Ayda starts sitting straight up but hunches as she gets more focused on what she is doing.

·       They both work in comfortable silence only broken when one of them need a break or one catches the other staring.