#Oisins a dead man

[hyperfixatingmenever]

.... not for long

[ttrpgnoob]

If you are mad that Kipperlilly isn't getting a redemption (at least it isn't as set up as the other rat grinders) that's a little silly. Freshman year Penelope and Dayne were not given that chance, despite giving the same "just a teen who had some evil intentions brought out & honed in by a teacher" because it was obvious they had manipulated Ragh.

Kipperlilly murdered Buddy in front of Kristen, is now heavily implicated in orchestrating the murder/possesion of her entire party. I'm so sorry folks, she is just a tragic story of villainy.

[voxmilia]

Do you have any HCs with inkblade and Ivy

YOU MEAN OISIN AND HIS TWO FAVORITE GIRLS? THREE OF MY FAVORITE KIDDOS? ONLY ALWAYS

I latched on so hard to "mean girl with the Garthy O'Brien accent" so I've adopted Ivy, she's one of my favorites, I literally write her on my rp blog, I have a character/timeline study for her in the works so I have many headcanons. Some of these are, as usual, created in conjunction with my friend Nick @starlingcity !!

I've had to cut this down like 3 times because I have so many thoughts about all three of them so literally ask me for more anytime!

Ivy was born in Leviathan. She doesn't remember it much; she and her bio mother (her mama, bc Fabian parallel) emigrated to Solace when Ivy was around 2 or 3. Her accent is sort of a mix of Leviathan and Fallinel, as her second mother (her mum) is a high elf.

She meets Oisin at Oakshield Middle School. He's sitting by himself, reading a spellbook and Ivy, who even before the rage never really knew how to express herself right the first time, tells him it's "too sad" to watch him all alone and insists she has to join him from now on. She does. They're inseparable from then on.

They develop minor separation anxiety after their first death in the Mountains of Chaos; it's tenfold by their revivication in junior year. Jawbone helps them both and also helps them find accredited private therapists.

Oisin has a panic attack for the first time ever during his first appointment with Jawbone, because Ivy isn't there and he's terrified she'll be dead when he comes out.

He has another one when Lucy's out for a summer trip, reconnecting with her family after a year dead, and he hasn't heard back from her in almost a day. Adaine finds him, knees tucked to his chest, arms and tail wrapped around them, just outside of Jawbone's office. It's their first real conversation beyond his initial apology to her.

He laments that he should be stronger than this, should know better. Adaine still doesn't trust him but she understands so she huffs and assures him that anxiety doesn't mean he isn't strong. She has anxiety and she's been in so many battles., defeated so many foes

"I punched a dragon in the face and I have anxiety!" (It makes him laugh. She hates that she likes the sound of it.)

Ivy, as bad as she is with words, is the first to apologize of all the Rat Grinders. Mazey is kind, too kind. Ivy sort of rambles. She isn't even sure why was she so unkind in the first place; she apologizes, says Mazey deserved better. They're not friends but they've buried the hatchet at least. (Years later, they run into each other at a Fig and the Cig Figs concert and smile at each other but say nothing.)

Oisin and Ivy kissed exactly once, at 14, the summer before their freshman year. They were two confused, curious kids who wondered if the warmth in their chests when they were together was meant to be romance. They hated it immediately and never attempted it again. Ruben is still convinced they're exes, though.

Oisin, Adaine, and Ivy end up in the first Bad Kid/Rat Grinder mixed group chat, beyond their initial mega chat with both parties. Oisin kept sharing memes Ivy sent him to Adaine, who would tell him to send Ivy one from Adaine in turn. He got tired of being the middle man eventually and makes them a group thread.

Ivy texts the chat one night that she feels sorry for Adaine, because Oisin is an awful kisser. Adaine tells Ivy to speak for herself. Oisin is too embarrassed to reply for almost an hour, to Ivy's joy

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Two (Part 2)

I end up getting dragged to the dinner party. I don’t know why I doubted Kelly’s choice for a moment, I suppose I thought that she’d listen to reason but when Claire found Flavio’s Facebook page on her laptop and showed her a photo she was sold. When we’re  getting ready together later I privately search his name again and find his birth date on his profile. He was born in May 1988. Twenty two years old and a Gemini. I snap the laptop closed in disgust. 

“Don’t look so sour, petal.” Claire says to me affectionately. She lifts a soft fat brush loaded with rosy blush and sweeps it across my cheeks. “I promise promise promise that you’ll have a nice time tonight.” I sigh. “I suppose, I’m just… anxious. Or something. I don’t know.”

“What has you anxious?” Kelly wants to know. She is spraying a sugary smelling body mist all over herself, and now the air in the room feels constricted. 

“I don’t know.” I say. “Nothing. I can’t explain it well.”

“Is it about the Italian fellas?”

“Kind of. Not really.”

Claire smooths down my hair and tucks a strand behind my ear. “You can tell us anything Evie. We’d never judge you for it.”

“It…” I begin hesitantly. “It’s stupid but like, I’m worried that we’ll go to the party and eventually I’ll have to be on my own after the two of you end up talking to the boys.”

Kelly pauses. “And you don’t think they’d be talking to you, no?”

I laugh humorlessly. “No, like sorry I don’t mean to be negative but boys don’t fancy me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Claire tells me. “Loads and loads of boys fancy you, that’s a fact. You’re drop dead gorgeous looking.” I know she’s just being nice. 

“The boys that like Evie aren’t the boys that Evie likes.” Kelly says. I detect bitterness in her voice. “She acts like she never gets asked out when in fact she just never says yes.”

“Yeah like sometimes.” I defend myself. “But even at that it’s hardly ever.”

“Again, not true. That lad Brendan from your tennis club asked you to go to the cinema with him about two weeks ago. And then there was Oisin from our study group and those two, no, three fellas that came up to you at that charity gig. You said no to them all, and that’s just in the last few months.”

I’m taken aback. When she puts it like that it sounds more serious than it really is. I begin to protest but she interrupts me. “My wish for you is that you’ll stop waiting around for some perfect man who doesn’t exist. Go out and live your life, you can’t be expecting some kind of lovey-dovey romance movie. That doesn’t happen in the real world.”

“Also Irish boys aren’t like that.” Claire adds, and I’m offended that she’s agreeing with her. She pauses to glue down her false eyelash and I wait for her to say it. Kelly swivels around in her chair and looks at her too. I know she’s thinking the same thing. Claire slowly blinks at herself in the mirror and then her reflection smiles impishly at me. “But, you never know, Italian boys might be.”

Prev // Next

[beanieman]

You should show us your OCs

I actually made an entire blog for their story, but then I rewrote everything so all the characters had a major revamp. So I'll talk about their new versions!

Emilio - The son of the antagonist and protagonist of his own story, Emilio is a dandelion that came from a forest of dead trees. He's nosy "observant" and naturally nurturing, with a large heart that's filled with a lot of fear. His night sky eyes tend to look toward Val in times of trial. And for other reasons. 

Val - Val is a ticking hand on a clock. She moves forward no matter what lies ahead or how many people wish she could stay frozen and let things remain how they are. She's analytical with a good poker face that she mostly uses to help others, especially Emilio who is her soft spot. Also, she's ḫ̷̉a̴̞̋u̶͇͐ṋ̴̿t̶͇̆e̵͉̍d̸̳͠ by a dead man, but if you ask her, that's her least interesting quality.

Sparrow - The son of the antagonist and baby brother to Emilio, Sparrow is a bird with clipped wings. He's cunning and a natural trickster with a heart filled wit rage. He looks up to his brother a ton and is happy as long as they're together.

More Undercut

Alicia - Alicia is made of fire. With a passionate heart that's bright and warm, she's a well-needed addition to the group, as her unyielding optimism is always welcome. You can often find her in her car garage working on her latest project. If not there she'll be in the sky as her angelic wings allow all her dreams of freedom to come to life.

Matthias - Matthias is a court jester born with a sword in hand and laughter on his lips. His real job is a solider which is a career pushed onto him by his family name, but he doesn't let it get him down as he's a jovial man with a lot of love in his heart. He's jokingly flirty and quite playful in most scenarios. Though he knows when to be serious and he's incredibly good with a sword if the situation calls for it. He's Val's mentor figure despite not being a lot older than her.

Lorne - Lorne is the type of man who jumps to bring down a cult for the fun of it...mainly because that's exactly what he's doing. He's mostly just along for the ride as someone who just likes to watch what's going down at any given moment. He's extremely and unbreakably loyal to those good to him, a bit arrogant, good in a crisis, and friendly to everyone he meets.

Oisin - Oisin is a glistening pond in the middle of a forest. As a farmer who values seclusion, he firmly believes that nature should be respected and treated as an ally. He has a soft spot for plants and animals with more weariness for people in most cases. Still, he really values his friendship with the group and wants the best for everyone. He's a firm believer in "The odd's of many over one."

Throca - Throca has been dead for longer than he lived. Playful and musical, he had his voice cut out far too soon. Now he's connected to Val for adventures from beyond the grave…for better or worse.

Nora - Nora is a beautiful fluffy cloud on a day where the sky is a bright blue. She's a gorgeous women who knows how to use her looks to her advantage to compensate for all sacrifices she's made to get where she is. She's quick to pick up skills, bubbly, ambitious, and reliable to her allies when they need her.

[arcadiabaytornado]

Deciding Whether My OC's Would Destroy Arcadia Bay Or Sacrifice The Person They Love Most

Emilio - He'd sacrifice Arcadia Bay and destroy himself in the process. Every day that passed he'd hate himself for not finding a way to save everyone. Yet, he'd still make the same decision again.

Val - Val would hold onto the butterfly picture and then spend some time in both realities to figure out which one caused less grief. In the end she'd choose to sacrifice the town.

Sparrow - He'd sacrifice Arcadia Bay without a single thought. Death and destruction means so little to him compared to the people he loves. ESPECIALLY if it were the person he loves most. He's the least likely to ever question his choice.

Alicia - Alicia would sacrifice the person she loves most. She cares about people and things SO deeply. There's no way she could sacrifice the town and not feel crushing levels of guilt. Plus she's very sentimental so a childhood hometown could mean as much to her as a person.

Matthias - The way this man would trap himself in a time loop to not have to make this choice. He couldn't face the outcome either way.

Lorne - Lorne would sacrifice the town and then deeply regret it, as he overestimated how much guilt he could handle. If he found a way to reverse the choice he would.

Oisin - Oisin would sacrifice the person he loves most. It would hurt, but he couldn't cause that amount of mass destruction. At his very core he believes that the good of many outweighs the good of one.

Throca - Throca would sacrifice the town. He's already technically dead and the idea that he has to give up something even more precious then his life wouldn't sit well with him.

Nora - Nora would sacrifice the person she loves most. She's made so many sacrifices to get where she is and that would stay true on the cliffs.

[evilcatgirlwizard]

small maybe discoursey fhjy post.

people are truly acting like the bad kids didnt give the rat grinders plenty of chances to do Anything good. every one of the bad kids (except maybe gorgug?) gave an honest effort at being nice to the rat grinders. the rat grinders are manipulated kids but, like. lucy frostblade proves that they could have chosen to not come back. yes its accepting death but if *lucy* could do it that does mean it is possible. which means it was an option. which means they did choose, although a very weighted choice, to be on this path. can they break out of the rage spell after ragevivication? who knows! my theory is yes, because rubens whole thing with wanda was absolutely not something porter wanted. the rat grinders messing with the bad kids is also something porter didnt want. which means the rat grinders *chose specifically to be mean to the bad kids* even **beyond** what orders porter was giving them. some of what the bad kids said in that battle were maybe a bit intense but tbh i dont care abt what fabian said entirely bc no quarter for active, cognizant racists to me but thats just my standard for "they are now a worm crush them" and for riz??? these people have been making his already stressful life a thousand times worse. several dragons almost killed him and over 500 other kids. summoned by oisin. so no wonder he wants oisin Mega Dead. like cmon. the rat grinders and their chaperones want not only mass death but sustained mass death and conquering and war. which can have countless countless countless deaths tacked on to that 500 teens. destroy them girl they are not Worth Trying Anymore. trying just got the bad kids hurt or rebuffed or manipulated or endangered. the bad kids tried diplomacy, just as much if not more diplomacy than they used on ragh, and it didnt work. and their aims are still mass murder. so the answer is kinda simple to me.

final point. fig damned ruben to the actual nicest part of hell. in fact by specifically claiming him shes assuring he goes to the laxest place in hell. his hell is just doing backstage duties man thats like... such a gentle punishment. its fine.

[unsleepingtales]

Ok I did not have a chance to watch the ep last night and I’m mildly hungover today but woo! FHJY party time!

17’s not bad!

A goddess with one cleric, one follower, and a shrimp allergy

KrisFIG Applebees

Oh Cassandra is in literal physical shards? Great. Fantastic.

Everyone here... makes steel. And I think that's wonderful. (Still one of the best moments I've ever seen)

You're doing a better job 😭

She LOST money

Very fucked up white russian

This is what they drink in the jungle!

They're so silly I love them so much

'I don't do this to you' zac started playing it out and beardsley immediately felt so guilty

Oooh love a full moon dice cleanse!

Ohh he's the church guy

It's filled with water 😡

KRISTEN

I'm glad at least one of them also feels weird about tricking someone who really doesn't want to drink into drinking.

"You gotta go right to their house and tell the Applebees house and tell them that their daughter's good"

"He must have repented an-" "Oh nooooo"

You should go to hell sometime! It's really fun!!

It must actually be so lovely for Kristen to hear her friends talk about her with so much love <3

Hellhound!Hangman!!!! <3<3<3 So cute I love him

I love the idea that instead of advisories or anything the yearbooks are grouped by party

Really idiosyncratic high fives. Incredible.

A Gardener's Dozen!!

What is this guy's vibe. I can't clock the vibe.

This blue dragonborn is hot I haven't even seen art

OH THERE'S THE ART yep he's hot.

The energy, the conjuration glyph tattoos.......

Hi Skrank!

Riiiiight dragonborn. Hoards. Etc

Tragic

I love Siobhan's collar pins so much. I need more collar pins.

That's SO cool.

Adaine. Fig's not infectious Oisin is distracted by you.

EY???

That 'I'm so tired' came from Brennan's soul

What the FUCK are you two TALKING about

ohhh I've been bested :|

y'all Kalina is currently discorporated

Watching Brennan's physicality change through that speech was great

ok but guys. Ragh taking a cleric level would not be the worst thing

AWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I love them SO much

I love friends that steal each other's clothes it is true and real

The High 5 Heroes! Ok!

Ok what happened to Lucy Frostblade

We're not in the library you can't rip pages out!

Are they still in the party? They weren't wearing pins right? Are they so intense because they already had to go pass/fail for a year when some of them left the party??

THERE'S A FACE BEHIND EVERY PIECE OF STEEL THAT YOU USE IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE.

Kristen I love you to the ends of the earth. But why do you love the steelworkers plant so much.

What are you DOING

Ohoho spreading the message. For a second I was convinced they were gonna say spreading the gospel. And that would have been weird.

Isn't Max a senior?

Concerning!

Girl what if she's DEAD????

Someone tagged his house :((

He has to live here tomorrow :((

Babe are you sure you want to be the party house?

One last time?? What are you gonna do to the page?

So glad I'm not the only one who had the what if she's dead thought

'I am compartmentalizing in a way that makes me think I will be doing this the rest of my life' OUCH. You can't just say that man c'mon.

Fabian had a signed copy of catcher in the rye????

Reliable Talent is so neat

ALLY

Yeah it's a utopia

You could make a really campy entrance oh my GOD

Awww

That's the ice muffets drunk adaine you have my heart

Fuck yeah Fig

Eeeesh

Mazey is so cool.

With tears in her eyessss

Mazey is a cig figs fan!!! Love that for her!

I love some exploration of bardic power. It's so delightful. Art resonates with the universe!!

Love Gorgug running some interference

Ok so just bc they're not wearing the pins doesn't mean they're not still in the party.

AND FOR WHAT

Oh god what did they do

Put it in the hangvan make it a plane

Are we not allowed to take drugs?? We murder people!

Adaine is actually sleeping!!! Oh I just read a great fic about elves and sleeping vs trancing.

Gertie Bladeshield is so pretty

That is ADORABLE. IT'S AN APPLE BEE. I LOVE HER.

Hell yeah Gertie

oh SHIT

If we get the bees on our side we'll be unstoppable 😭

Trackerrrrr

AUGH.

Oh shit she can't cast right now?? I mean yeah that makes sense but oh god.

Jawbone is her UNCLE. BABE.

Oh GOD.

GIRLIE. KRISTEN.

Oh noooooo

of COURSE

Adaine Abernant I love you so much <3

HAVE A GREAT LIFE?????? You live in the same HOUSE

Aelwyn what are you up to

Oh damn ok so it might not be a pass/fail issue

Is it?? is it perfectly put??

A real dark night of the soul :(

Oooooooof

Emily with her legs curled up at the table she's just like me fr

Ohhhh no ok

Oh fun have downtime rules changed?

oh GOD the red gems are back

fun episode gang :)

[p-taryn-dactyl]

there is only one king

a/n: so this is my first edition in my original work 'series'. it's kinda short and never really got a full chapter before I stopped writing it bc it felt a bit too similar to other ideas

word count: 808

The King sat jovially in his throne, feasting on the fruits of another man’s labor. He laughed at the jokes, crude and insensitive, spoken by his advisor. His crown - golden and reflecting the light from the chandelier above- sat upon a brow of equally gold hair. His robes flowed around him, the silk looking like a blanket to protect him from what would happen next. The room went quiet at the entrance of a nervous young man, his skin a golden brown- robbed in the clothes of a messenger. The King waved his ring studded hand, letting the man know it was time to speak. The man cleared his throat, stating his name and purpose. 

“Soleh Listari. I bring the news of the return of the warrior sent to the outer colonies.” The King’s face took on a surprised expression before clearing away, not before Soleh noticed. The King adjusted himself on his throne, eyes wandering around the room. 

“Tell her to meet me later today, we will discuss the outer colonies later-” The doors to the throne room burst open revealing a woman of short stature, her hair curly and long - matted with sweat and dirt. The royal advisors looked disgusted at her appearance. Her pale skin was covered in mud and splattered with blood, she had cuts running down her arms and up her neck. Blood dripped from a cut on her eyebrow into her right eye, but she made no move to wipe it away. 

“No, Your Highness,” she said his title in a way that made everyone in the room straighten their spine, “We will discuss it now.” The King opened his mouth to respond but the woman’s voice echoed throughout the room. 

“You promised the people protection, yet you tax them an inch away from death. I saw men and women eating mud because you took away their savings so you could feast on fruit and stare at your reflection in a golden mirror. When the soldiers came to collect even more taxes,” the woman paused to chuckle, the dark sound chilling Soleh’s bones, “they couldn’t deliver. I think you know what happened next. The bodies of the people littered the streets, their blood watered the already dead crops - dried up from overuse of the soil.” The woman’s eyes started to glow a hellish orange. “You are no King, but a parasite. Remember dear Oisin,” The King’s eyes widened at his name and at the feeling of his crown tightening on his brow, little drops of blood trickling down his face. Everyone in the room was too frozen to help him. “What’s given can be taken away.” The woman threw down a golden badge, the royal insignia, and with a burst of flame, she was gone. 

-1-

Thalia stood on the edge of the cliff, watching as the waves crested and fell, breathing in the salty air. She refused to close her eyes, to relax. The memories of the destruction she saw played in her mind like it was taunting her. You should’ve done something. Her thoughts swirled around, jeering at her. A hand placed itself on her shoulder. Thalia spun around, grabbing the wrist and twisting it, bringing the person to their knees. When she saw who it was, Thalia tightened her grip. 

“Listari. What do you want?”

 The young man groaned, the muscles in his forearm straining. 

“I want an explanation. What did you mean by what you said?” 

Thalia laughed, letting the boy go. 

“By what’s given can be taken away? I’m sure it’s not as complicated as you’re making it.”

Soleh huffed, standing. 

“You know what I mean.” 

“I’m sure I don’t.” Thalia claimed shortly, turning back to the cliff, signaling her end of the conversation. Soleh sighed, coming to stand next to the shorter woman. 

“I’m just- I’m confused and in awe. You know the King’s name, you speak it conversationally yet you threaten the most powerful man in the Southern Kingdoms. You hold a power I do not understand.”

Thalia chuckled slowly, different from the way she did in the throne room. This time, her laugh sounded like a mother poking fun at a child’s antics. She turned her back to the cliff, sighing.

“Dear boy,” her voice echoed softly throughout Soleh’s mind, “there are many things you have yet to understand.” And with that, Thalia fell off the cliff, her arms spread outwards. Crying out, Soleh rushed forward, scared of what he would see below. But instead of the broken body of a fierce warrior, a giant bird made of fire was quickly rising. Soleh took a startled step back, tripping over his feet as he watched in astonishment as the bird nodded once then flew off into the horizon. It took Soleh a few moments to comprehend what he had just seen.

[mincerman]

Is this a list of the same type of people?

Gerald Durrell

Derrick (Fredo Santana) Coleman - rapper - purple drank

Anthony Bourdain (TV Chef) - Heroin, Methadone, Cocaine, Alcohol.

George Herbert Scott (Airship Pilot), d.1930.

Grayson Murray, American golfer

Mark Lanegan, 57

Taylor Hawkins, 50

Steve Harwell, Smash Mouth Lead Singer, liver failure.

Lisa Marie Presley, 54

Raye (Rachel Keen), British Singer

Andrea Dunbar (Playwright, age 29 - brain hem orange).

Robert Louis Stevenson - hence Jeykel and hyde (aged 44, drugs inc alcohol)

Phil Lynott

Paul Walsh, Footballer.

Andy Warhol - “Although not as big a drug-taker as many of his entourage in mid-century New York, Warhol was addicted to Obetrol – marketed today as Adderall – an amphetamine diet pill that has a similar effect to speed.” - https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/mar/24/drugs-and-alcohol-do-not-make-you-more-creative-research-finds?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Jefferson King (Shadow)

Taylor Hawkins (died at 50) Foo Fighters, Drummer.

Jordon Peterson

Ivan Toney (Brentford and England footballer and gambler)

Wasim Akram (Cocaine)

Robson Green

Simon Pegg

Don Whillans, mountaineer

Stanislav Petrov (the man who saved the world)

Samuel Taylor-Coleridge (Laudanum)

Goethe

W.H.Auden, Benzedrine

Jared O’Mara (former MP)

Anne Robinson

Hayden Panettiere, actress https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/22079654/heroes-hayden-panettiere-addiction-alcohol-opiods-nashville/amp/

Jennifer Elliott (daughter of Denholm Elliot)

James Mangan - 19th C. Irish Poet, influenced -

Shane MacGowan.

Sir William Carr (Pissing Billy)

James Gandolfini

Lanre Fehintola

Howard Hughes, OCD, Codeine

Kirkland Laing (Boxer)

Ian Royce, Comedian.

Bobby Liebling (lead singer, Pentagram)

Rory Hamilton Brown

Matthew Mellon (banking heir)

Nora Butlin

David Berman (silver Jews)

Ted Ngoy (the donut king - gambling)

Ernst Udet - German WW1 Ace, responsible for Nazi aircraft manufacture until suicide,1941.

Blair “Paddy” Mayne (famed early S.A.S. Soldier)

David Stirling (famed early S.A.S. Soldier)

Danny Cipriani

William Golding

Luke Sutton, sports agent

Bryony Gordon

Gaddafi

Paddy “Mad” Merrigan (Jockey)

Michael K. Williams (actor)

Robert Webb (British Comedian)

Mark McManus

Brian O’Nolan

Rodney Dangerfield

Tara Palmer-Tompkinson

Marco Pantani

Robin Smith (cricketer)

Dr. John (The Scatman)

Robert Havlin (jockey)

Kenneth Williams

Victor Willis (son of a baptist preacher - Village People.

Stu Ungar

Charlie Parker

Miles Davis

Harold Shipman

Danny Trejo (ends up dead on top of Tortoise in Breaking Bad).

Sandy Ratcliff (Sue Osman, East Enders)

James Hunt

Michael David Weiss (film injustice re safety needles)

Charlie Chaplin Snr. (Cirrhosis, 38)

Oisin Murphy (jockey)

Peter Shilton (gambling)

Marvin Gaye

Robert Young, actor, brother of Roger Moore

Dick Van Dyke

Yuri Gagarin

Christopher Farley (U.S. actor)

Ronald Lacey - played Dylan Thomas (1978) - Harry Ridler in Minder on the the Orient Express

Jordan Peterson

Tanya Sarne (Fashion)

Elizabeth Wurtzel (Prozac Nation)

Bradley Cooper

Tom Maynard (Cricketer)

Bobby Beasley (Jockey)

Toulouse-Lautrec

Baudelaire

Montgomery Clift.

Jay Kay

Mike McCready (guitarist - pearl jam)

Elton John

Heinrich Böll, German Writer, Pervatin, during WW

Andy Fordham (The Viking)

Alice Cooper

Phil Spector

Alan Watts

Mark Lanegan

Rupert Young - Will Young’s brother

Matthew Perry (Friends sitcom)

Susannah Constantine (TV host)

Hugh O’Connor, Actor, -1962-1995. Shot himself in the head on the day of his 3rd Wedding Anniversary.

Deacon Brodie - alcoholic sinner fire-runner and example used by Robert Louis Stevenson in J & H - a hundred years later - and a life that Stevenson tried to pursue himself

Desi Arnaz, American actor

Felicite Tomlinson

Demi Lovato

William Hurt (American actor)

Venedikt Vasilyevich Yerofeyev - Author of Moscow Stations, 1969

Olivia Channon

Willie Carson Jnr

‘Bloody’ Mary Coughlan.

Roy Orbison (yo-yo dieting)

Christopher Hitchens - thinkoholic, alcoholic, smoker

Emma, Lady Hamilton

Jan-Michael Vincent (Airwolf)

Maradona

Keith Gillespie,Footballer, Gambling.

Eddie Van Halen

Richard Kiel (Jaws)

John Bonham

Matthew Perry, American actor.

Stuart Cable - Drummer Stereophonics - choked on vomit.

Cameron Douglas

Chris Langham - cocaine / alcohol. (Went to prison for 6 months for download child pornographic images. Played Orwell in 2003 BBC film.). Career destroyed after that.

Johnny Vegas

Arthur Daley.

Mike Tyson

George Harrison

Alexei Rykov aka ‘Rykvodka’ Rightist Politburo member, Premier and co- ruler with Stalin and Bukharin ‒. Defendant in last show trial

Hans Fallada (Rudolf Ditzen) - German Author

Henry Pierrepoint - executioner father of Albert the executioner.

Bob Hindley (alcoholic father of Myra Hindley)

Simon Day (fast show)

Frederick Nietzsche (Opiu re m / chloral hydrate)

Tennessee Williams

Henry Willson - Hollywood agent (Cirrhosis)

Steve Caulker - footballer aged 25 (alcohol and gambling)

Tim Bergling (DJ Avicii) - aged 28

Verne Troyer (49)

Ashley Mattingly (playmate)

Jean Michel Basquiat - artist, 27, Heroin

Keith Levene, Founder member of The Clash, and Public Image Ltd

Dolores Riordan (46) lead singer of cranberries - died drowned in her bath 2018 Park Lane Hilton. Also anorexic and bi-polar.

Demi Lovato (ex Disney Channel actress)

Charles Baudelaire - laudanum and alcohol

Chris Leben (UFC fighter)

Mike Bell a.k.a. Mad Dog (WWE - wrestler)

Freddie Starr

Irvine Welsh

Dolores O’Riordan (alcohol / anorexia)

Dennis Price.

Shia LaBeouf (actor)

Rhys Thomas (Rugby)

Russell Pearce (Boxing)

David Plunkett Greene (Heroin)

Ron ‘Pigpen’ McKernon (grateful Dead,27)

Annabelle Neilson - Heroin / aristoc

Ray Wilkins

Jeff Hatch (NFL player)

Ryan Cresswell (footballer)

Jon Stewart (guitarist, sleeper)

Alexander || of Russia.

Otto Gross (influenced Jung) - addict - 1877 to 1920. 42.

Oskar Schindler

Phil Lynott

Shaun Ryder

George Brown MP

Paul Ryder (Bassist)

Gary Oldman

Peter Edward "Ginger" Baker, English Drummer.

Mac Miller / U.S. rapper (26)

Jeff Hanneman - Slayer - cirrhosis, 49

Gary Busey (American actor)

Philip Larkin (half a bottle of sherry at sunrise).

Hunter S. Thompson - pro addict - suicide Feb 2005

Gregg Allman, American Singer / Songwriter

Coolio (Artis Leon Ivey)

Martin Gore (Depeche Mode)

Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode)

William Faulkner. (American Writer)

Lord Haw Haw (William Joyce)

Eugene O’Neill. (American Writer)

Anthony Burgess

Donald Maclean

Kim Philby

Ellen Philby - wife of spy Kim Philby (47)

Anthony Blunt

Ringo Starr

Jerry Lee Lewis

Ricky Hatton

John Ford (Film Director)

Jack London (Author of John Barleycorn novel) morphine overdose and alcoholism

Tom Chaplin, Lead Singer, Keane.

Nico - H - velvet underground

Art Pepper

Liza Minnelli

Richard Bacon

Jay Kay (Jamiroquai)

Tobey Maguire

Christian Slater

Chris Cornell (lead singer of Soundgarden)

Max Jacob (French Post)

Malcolm McDowell

Fred Trump Jnr. (Eldest brother 1932-81) - alcoholism aged 42.

Owen Wilson

Gary Oldman

Keith Flint (Prodigy)

Demi Moore - actors

Danniella Westbrook

Roger Ebert (Film critic)

John Cassavetes (great director) - hobnailed liver, 59. Q.v. Under the influence (1974) - starring his co-alcoholic and co-dependent wife, Gena Rowlands (who was nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal of progressive madness).

Bill Evans - Heroin - jazz

Suroosh Alvi - founder of Vice media - ex Heroin

Gary Fraser - Director of T2

Trainspotting - ex Heroin

Keith Floyd.

Ant mcpartlin

Tom Hardy (aa)

Steve Coogan

Kenny Sansom

Dante Gabriel Rossetti - painter -(1828-1882) became addicted to chloral, with whisky chasers

Philip Roth - American Novelist (Halcion sleeping pill)

Lee Marvin

Bryony Gordon - terrible telegraph columnist

‘Mad Jack’ Byron

Chet Baker - Jazz Trumpeter

Berlioz

Ray Charles - Heroin.

Sir Edwin Landseer (Laudinum)

John Hurt (died 28 Jan 16 pancreatic cancer ages 75)

Anthony Eden (Benzedrine) Drinamyl also known as ‘purple hearts’ to take him up and up to four sleeping pills a night to take him down. Eventually they stopped working - he couldn’t sleep and the doctors said the pharmaceutical solution had run its course - and he had to be evacuated to Jamaica for a few weeks - presumably to withdraw, just after Suez and a Sterling crisis. https://academic.oup.com/qjmed/article/98/6/387/1548168 - from Dr David Owen - concluding with the line ‘a fit and well Anthony Eden would not have made all those mistakes’.

Christopher Walken

Alistair Maclean - later on.

Al Pacino

Andrew Symonds (Australian Cricketer)

Margaux Hemingway (grand-daughter / supermodel)

Amy Winehouse (27)

Brian Jones (27) Rolling Stones

Jimi Hendrix (27)

Janice Joplin (27)

Jim Morrison (27)

Rudy Lewis (27) The drifters

Alan Wilson (27)

Dickie Pride (27)

Ron “Pigpen” Mckernon (27)

Kurt Cobain (27)

Dash Snow (27) - artist

Gary Thain (27) Bassist, Uriah Heep

Pamela Courson (27) Morrison’s wife, Heroin overdose, 3 yrs later in ‘74.

See also - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club

Fred Archer (29) gambling - shot himself.

Dean Martin

Eve Babitz

Pete Townsend

Courtney Love

Kevin Lloyd (Actor, The Bill)

Amedeo Modigliani

Diego Maradona

Brett Favre

Babe Ruth

Paul Merson (drink and gambling)

Bill Werbenuik (Snooker)

Kirk Stevens (cocaine - Snooker)

Mark E. Smith - d.2018. Lead singer of the Fall. 60.

Danielle Westbrook

Mary J. Bilge

Alec Baldwin (actor)

Vince Taylor from Isleworth - inspired Ziggy Stardust.

Douglas Kenney - founder of National Lampoon, 33, probable Suicide. Hawaii.

Alan McGee - Founder of creation records and property developer

Patrick Swayze

John Skipper, (former) president ESPN

David Cassidy

Steven Tyler (alive)

Hubert Selby Jr - author of last exit to Brooklyn - died sober even refused morphine.

Etta James

Slash

Bradley Cooper

Calvin Harris (Scot dj)

Eva Mendes

Colin Farell

Al Pacino

Craig Charles

Davina McCall

Anthony Hopkins

Rob Lowe

Phil Michelson (gambling)

Melanie Griffith

Jamie-Lee Curtis

Moby

W. C. Fields

Jean-Claude Junker

Christine Dolce (queen of MySpace) - cirrhosis

Franklin pierce - us president - cirrhosis

Chernenko - soviet leader 84 - cirrhosis

Jimi Hendrix - cirrhosis?

Billie holiday - cirrhosis

Jack Karouac - cirrhosis

Rob Lowe - alcoholic - 27 yrs sober

Sean Hughes (Irish comic) - cirrhosis

List of people with cirrhosis https://m.ranker.com/list/famous-people-with-cirrhosis/celebrity-lists

Etta James

Francis Bacon

Lucian Fraud (gambling)

Bobby Davro

David Warner - AUS cricketer

Baudelaire

Jesse Ryder - NZ cricketer

Herschelle Gibbs - SA cricketer

Alan Hudson (footballer)

Paul McGrath (footballer)

Kenny Samson (Footballer)

Garrincha (Brazilian Footballer)

Hank Williams aged 29

Marvin Gaye - crack before he was shot by father

Mickey Mantle (baseball player, Cirrhosis)

Joseph McCarthy (anti-communist)

Gilbert Harding - "The Rudest Man in Britain" 1907-1960.

John Paul Getty III

Caroline Aherne

Chris Difford - squeeze / clouds

Gary Shail - spider in quadraphenia

8 Mile actress

NIna Simone

Lord Lucan

Lady Lucan

Goering

Christy Brown

Edward St Aubyn

Rick Stein

Ronnie O'Sullivan (Snooker Player)

Chris Cornell

Denis Johnson (Author of Jesus' Son, 1992)

Dermot Reeve

Joey Barton

Will Self

Charles Kennedy MP (intracerebral haemorrhage)

Eric Joyce MP

Debbie Harry (Blondie)

Sir Anthony Eden - Benzedrine - buried at st Mary's church, alvediston. Un-respected.

Luvo Manyonga SA long jumper Olympic silver medallist 2016 - crystal meth

Ian McShane - Lovejoy, Deadwood - cocaine / alcoholic - 28 yrs since first AA meet.

Colin Milburn (cricketer)

Tom Petty (Heroin)

James brown

General Gordon of Khartoum - alcoholic - (according to Lytton Strachey)

Errol Flynn (absolutely everything) - in secret lives at the end "Errol Flynn made the fatal flaw of confusing his art with his life - in film they applaud Robin Hoods and rascals - in real life they tire of them soon... They stand by to let the person destroy himself". Heart problems and Cirrhosis.

Tyrone Power - 1 yr after The Sun Also Rises aged 44

Charlie Wilson US politician cv.film

Brian Clough

Sean Ryder

Greg Merson 2014 WSOP Main Event winner

Tubby Hayes - British Jazz - Heroin

Phil Seaman - Drummer - Heroin

Rick Parfitt (Status Quo)

Ian Kilminster (Lemmy)

Jack wild (oliver in artful dodger) aged 53 mouth cancer

Joe meek - pills - Telstar

Rasputin (alcohol and sex)

Boris Yeltsin

Paris Jackson (17) Michael's daughter

Jimmy pegg - walker in dads army - 39

Alexei Stakhanov (coal miner)

Seymour Hoffman

Lo ' David Coyle - Mr Bates in Downton Abbey

David Cassidy - 70s singer / heartthrob

Simon Danczuk MP

John Belushi

Whitney Houston

Bobbi Kristina Brown

William S Burroughs - writer, Heroin

William S Burroughs Jr. - Aged 34 - had liver transplant - cirrhosis

Amy winehouse

Brian Epstein - in a totally white bathroom - the only art was a giant picture of El Cordobes. And he wanted to give up managing The Beatles to manage bullfighters in Spain. L. Oo

Dante Gabriel Rosetti (Laudanum), Chloral, Alcohol)

Jimmy greaves

Mary Todd go. F FB

ST Coleridge (both Laudanum)

Sigmund Freud - a lot to answer for - cocaine

Irvine Walsh

Malcolm Lowry 1957

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Michael Phelps - most decorated Olympian

Tony Curtis

Robbie Williams

Mel Gibson

Sir James Chadwick (sleeping pills) sleeping on fear his work on a bomb would lead to mass destruction

Charles James Fox - cirrhosis whilst in office as Foreign Secretary - also Ascites (7 pints of fluid drained at death also 35 gallstones found) - lived in Chertsey and Foxhills, prodigious gambler.

Barry humphries

Daniel Radcliffe

Jack Dee

Jack karouac

Ian Fleming?

William Holden (actor, Bridge on the River Kwai)

Brad Pitt

Len fairclough

Malcolm Lowry (under the volcano)

John le Meisurer

James Beck (Alcoholic) Dads Army

Arthur Lowe - Dad's Army

Clive of India

Frank skinner

Rodney king

RD Laing (Dr)

Richard Hughes (jockey)

Johnny Murtagh (Jockey)

Jeremy Wolfenden

Jockey Wilson

Diego Maradona

John McAfee - dry drunk

Antony Hopkins

Michael Barrymore

Tara fitzgerald

Gazza

Tiger Woods https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/tiger-woods-avoids-jail-on-driving-charge-dp9f6gv7n

Lou reed

Marquis of Blandford

F Scott Fitzgerald

Beethoven

Edgar Allan Poe

Diana Ross

Robin Williams

Elton John

Eminem

Lilly Allen

J.L. Austin, Academic, Lung Cancer, 48.

Johnny Cash

Samuel l Jackson

Frank Sinatra

Buzz aldrin

Ben affleck - gambling / alcohol

Ulysses Grant 18th president

Benjamin franklin

George bush jar

Alexander the Great

David Yelland Former editor of Sun.

David Bowie / Ziggy Stardust (Coke)

Eric Clapton

Bill Wilson

W.C. Fields (died of gastric haemorrhage)

Blondie - whose music is used to advertise baileys

Stephen King

Hermann Goering (Morphine)

Hermoine Norris (yellow card)

Brad davis

Tom Maynard

Alec Baldwin

Morgan Freeman

Charlie watts both recovers

William f Buckley

Charles Kennedy

Jamie lee Curtis (daughter of tony Curtis)

Lana del Rey

Barnaby conrad (bulls)

Yazz Yasmin Evans

Peaches Geldolf

Caroline aherne

King Richard 3rd died 1485 battle of bosworth

James beck (dads army)

Fat boy slim

Calvin Harris

50 cent

Prince (Perocet)

Francis Bacon

Anthony kliedis

Shania twain

Peter Townsend

Leona Lewis

Jessie j

Alice cooper

Moby

Ringo Starr

Asquith?

Constantine Chernenko (Soviet president - cirrhosis)

Chris difford (lead sing squeeze)

George IV - gambling mainly.

Henry VIII - sypillus (food issues - drink - sex)

Ozzy osbourne

Jack osbourne

Kelly osbourne

Steve coogan

Paul Gascoigne

Midge Ure

John Daly

Steven Tyler

Nicole Ritchie

Drew Barrymore

Naomi Campbell

Waylon Jennings

Nick Nolte

Martin Sheen

Keith Moon

Kurt Cobain

Rt Hon George Brown MP, Lord George Brown (1914-1985) Labour Belper, 1945-70, excused by his staff of being ‘tired and emotional

Paul Nicholls (ex Eastenders)

Alan Ladd

Jack Lemmon

David Hasselhoff

Errol Flynn - ended up supporting The (Fid)Del - worst film ever - Cuban rebel girls and the Cuban story doc - 1959 - year he died - revolution for alcohol, cocaine, and heroin - these two pieces of art marked the ego, deciept and denial.

Truman Copote

Billy Joel

Jimmy White (Snooker, Crack)

Stephen King

Ernest Hemingway

Diana Ross

Orson Welles (and father)

Ben Affleck (drink / gambling)

Abi Evelyn t (yellow card)

Trinny Woodall

Don Simpson - producer of top gun bev hills cop

Peter Doherty

Gary Richrath (REO Speedwagon guitarist)

Robert Newton - born Shaftesbury 1905 - died Beverly Hills 1956 - heart attack - Shaftesbury most famous alcoholic. Aged 50.

12th Duke of Marlborough - Ex Marquis of Blandford

Henry VIII

Thomas de Quincey - confessions of an English opium eater. (Actually laudanum).

Pat Eddery

Richard Hughes

Dr William Stewart Halsted - inspiration for Clive Owen's Dr John Thackery (The Knick).

Nero?

Frank Skinner

Alexander the Great?

Eric Joyce (former MP)

Robert Mitchum

Osgood )brother of Peter

Lionel Bart

Ira Hayes (flag man)

John Bonham (Windsor)

Joseph "Joe" McCarthy - commies

Dylan Thomas

James Joyce

James Thurber

Gary Moore (singer, 80s)

Jim Morrison (27)

Franklin Pierce (US President, 1853-1857. Liver cirrhosis 1869 aged 64.

Macaulay Culkin

Michael Jackson

Boy George

Carrie Fisher

Beth Morris (voice contestant) - cocaine

Hitler (Barbiturates)

Mussolini, Stalin, Eichmann.

Mao Zedong (barbiturates)

Jeffrey Dahmer (Alcohol)

Johnny Depp (booze)

Rodney Dangerfield

Mickey Mantle (baseball, booze)

Billie Holiday

Melanie Griffith

Ewan McGregor

Tony Hancock

Guy Burgess (spy)

Diana Ross

Shane MacGowen

Craig Charles.

Paul Verlaine (French 19th C Poet)

Toulouse-Lautrec

Melanie Griffith (Percocet)

Elvis (Percocet)

Cindy McCain (wife of John MCCain, Percocet)

Gerald Levert (Percocet)

Bill Werbeniuk

Ant McPartlin

Prince (Fentanyl overdose)

Lil Peep (Fentanyl overdose)

Alex Higgins

Bon Scott (AC/DC)

Kirk Stevens (Cocaine)

La Galue (Louise Weber) - queen of Momartre - can can dancer.

Jeff Hanneman (singer, Slayer)

Yves Saint-Laurent

Florence Ballard (The Supremes)

Colin Milburn (Cricketer)

John Barrymore (Early Hollywood Actor)

Kemal Ataturk (Cirrhosis)

Gail Russell (Early Hollywood icon)

Helen Morgan (American singer and actress)

Ulysses Grant

George Best

Calum Best

Verne Troyer

Keith Whitley (American Country music singer)

William Falkner (American author)

Caspar Fleming (Novelist’s son)

Anna Nicole-Smith

Yootha Joyce (Mildred)

Jerry Bailey - us jockey)

Joe Namath

Walter Swinburn (both dead) alcohol and also eating disorder

Bobby Fischer (Chess)

Willie Thorne ( gambling)

Kirk Stevens

[agentldiddy]

The Leviathan Company Session 17

The party returns to the anti-magic field to have Vylin dispel it. Unfortunately, Vanessa’s brother, Viktor Vulkov, yoinks the child from a cloud of red mist and teleports him away.

We then engage in combat with this man, and he hits like a truck. The fight was hard, and he kept rambling about earning “the gift” during it. Eventually, everyone but Ivan was downed, and he smites the man, who casted fireball on himself as a last resort.

So, now that Victor is dead and Vylin was yoinked, they return to Dar’s house. After questioning Oisin again, Dar concludes that the Vulkovs took them, so they split up. Dar, Cyren, and Anakiir search Tirfain for his parents while Ivan, Doc, Lily, and Zeta (who has gotten a new handaxe) go to the land of Gorus to look for Vylin

[riftenwriter]

Birdcage

Pairing: Xiao x reader CW: Reader dies at the end Word count: ~2000

“Just wishing that I could be like these birds someday.” “And that is?” “Free.”

Loosely based off the legend of Oisin in tir na nog 

You meet Xiao when your father brings him into your home. 

You’re sitting at the dining table when your father comes into the house after having been away for two months. As you race to greet him you stop as you notice the man beside him. He isn’t anyone you had seen before, and he doesn’t look like he is from Liyue Harbor. Your father is quick to tell you how the Yaksha saved his life when he was returning from Mondstadt and Xiao had been helpless to stop your father bringing him back to your house to thank him properly and to allow you and your mother to know who helped your father return safely. 

You couldn’t stop yourself staring at Xiao, you feel your cheeks start to warm when he notices your gaze causing you to look at your feet. You fall in love at first sight and can barely say your name causing your father to introduce you instead. 

The adeptus is unsure what he feels when he sees you for the first time, and when he notices your gaze he can’t help but wonder if this is what falling in love means. The journey here was spent listening to your father speak about you, his only child, and yet seeing you is very different. The way the light hits you is beautiful and he cannot imagine going back to Jueyun Karst without you. 

A couple days after your father’s return home, you and Xiao are sitting in your garden. You're attentively listening to his stories about his home of Jueyun Karst and the other adepti. Halfway through his current story you turn your gaze away from the Yaksha and instead turn your attention to the sky. Watching as the birds fly above you, their bodies dancing along the wind as they weave throughout the sky. Watching them hurts, unlike you they are free to go where they want whereas you had never left the town you grew up in. Not able to due to your status as the only child of your parents. Xiao notices the change in your mood and stops his story. He decides to ask what you’re thinking about instead, as he can’t bear to see you sad. 

“Oh I’m just wishing that I could be like these birds someday.” you muse. Your statement confuses Xiao.

“And that is?” he asks. 

“Free.” you reply, your eyes still fixed on the birds above you. The two of you sit in silence until Xiao speaks. 

“Come with me.” 

“What?” His words confuse you. Go with him where, didn’t he know you couldn’t leave the town of Liyue Harbor. 

“Come with me,” he repeats, this time gently grabbing your face turning it so you are looking at him, “Back to Jueyun Karst.” 

You immediately say yes. This is your chance to leave Liyue Harbor and the past few days with Xiao made you fall even more in love with him. However what you didn’t know is that you would be swapping one gilded birdcage for another. 

----

The next day the two of you leave for Jueyun Karst on the back of a white horse that will ensure your safe passage into the realm of the Adepti. 

Your parents didn’t want to see you go, their only child but they had seen how happy Xiao had made you the past few days. So they decided that they would let you go with him as your happiness was always their highest priority. 

Before the two of you set off, on the back of the white horse, you reassure your parents that you would return to see them again when you are able to, but what you don’t see is the look of pain on Xiao’s face when you say this. He knows that time in Liyue and Jueyun Karst move differently but he can’t find the words to tell you. 

As the horse approaches the border between the two worlds, you can’t help but worry about going to Jueyun Karst. The stories your mother would tell you as a child warning you about the realm of the adepti, echo in the back of your head. The stories about what happens to humans that go near their realm. How they are never able to return the same way, but whenever she had told you these cautionary tales she would never finish them because halfway through you would be hugging her tightly, sobbing as you told her that you would never go near Jueyun Karst. 

Yet you are going to Jueyun Karst, but unlike the stories you are with someone you love with all your heart. This doesn’t completely stop you worrying as much as you are hoping. 

“Xiao?” you hesitantly ask. He hums in response. “Are you sure it will be safe?” 

He lightly laughs, “Of course.” 

You hum, happy with his response. His words comfort you. You pull yourself closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you cross over into the world of the Adepti. 

Words can not describe the beauty you see before you. You knew of the beauty that the realm of the Adepti was said to possess but those stories pale in comparison to the real thing. The evening sun dances across the water which is reflecting the purple and oranges hues of the sky. The golden trees sway gently in the breeze, their leaves rustling as the wind sings around you. You are in awe of the nature before you. Xiao chuckled to himself at your childlike wonder as you look at the land before the two of you. 

“Welcome home.” the adeptus gently says as the two of you travel further into Jueyun Karst. 

----

The first time you bring up your home of Liyue Harbor is after your sixth month of living in the land of beauty and happiness. The past six months had been filled with nothing but happiness as you got used to living with Xiao in Jueyun Karst. Until you realise you no longer remember the smell of Qingxin flowers or how your parents look. However when you bring this up to Xiao, he gently shakes his head and brings you into an embrace. You don’t ask about Liyue again until three years later. 

“Xiao,” you gently whisper to the Yaksha ask across from you. “I was wondering if I could see my family back in Liyue harbour.”

“Not this again.” he sighs, his face showing how much he hates this conversation. 

“It doesn’t even have to be my family, if I could just see the town.” your voice pleading with him to let you see your home.

“My answer is still no. Aren’t you happy here?” 

“I.” you pause, of course you were happy here. Jueyun Karst is the place where the adepti feel no sadness and never age but you are not an adeptus. You still feel some sadness at the memory of you leaving Liyue, not having seen your family or friends in almost three years. 

Xiao shakes his head, as if he knows what you are thinking. Unlike you, Xiao knows that time works differently in Jueyun Karst to Liyue and he didn’t know how to tell you that Liyue Harbour would not be the one you once knew. That your family and friends are long dead. 

A couple days later Xiao comes to you with the white horse behind him. He tells you that you can go and visit Liyue if you ride the horse. You couldn’t hold back your happiness and hug Xiao in a tight embrace. You love Xiao with all of your heart but the prospect of seeing your hometown and family again is something you’ve wanted for a while. 

As you go to mount the white horse, Xiao stops you and pulls you into a tight embrace. One which he has no intention of letting you leave.

“Y/N. Don’t let your feet touch Liyue. I want you to come back to me.” he whispers into your ear, his voice full of concern for your safety. After a couple minutes of being in his arms he lets you mount the horse. Before you leave you gently touch your forehead to his. Xiao watches as you ride across Jueyun Karst. He can’t help but wonder if you are going to return to him or not. Or if the three hundred years you had been away from Liyue causes you to never want to face him again. Even though he is a Yaksha and one of the Adepti he can do nothing but wait for you to return. 

This isn’t the Liyue you remembered. Of course it is still Liyue but the town you grew up in was no more. Instead it is now a bustling port, having grown in size that is more fitting of a city than a town. You furrow your brow as your horse reaches the bridge, the more your confusion with the surroundings grows. The entrance to Liyue Harbor is much grander than you remember, the harbor is filled with more boats than you had ever seen. 

‘How could so much change in just three years’ you think to yourself. ‘It has been three years right?’ You shake your head trying to forget these thoughts. You knew Xiao would’ve told you if it wasn’t three years. 

You decide to ask one of the guards standing by the bridge where to find your family’s shop, hoping that you could find more answers there. 

“I’m sorry miss but there is no business with that name here. Hasn’t been for a while.” he replied. You can’t stop yourself from visibly showing your shock at his response. Just how long had it been since you left here? You thank the guard and turn your horse to leave, resolving to return to Jueyun Karst, wishing you had never asked to see Liyue Harbor or your family. As you are leaving you catch the guard muttering to himself. 

“Isn’t that the business mentioned in the story my grandmother would tell me growing up. Something about their only child leaving, three hundred years ago? I wonder.” 

You cannot believe what you are hearing from the guard. Three hundred years? Had it truly been that long since you left Liyue Harbor to go to Jueyun Karst. A small part of you wants to ask the guard to tell you that story but you just want to return back to Xiao. To get away from here and back to the one you love. 

But fate has another path in store for you. 

While you are riding back to the realm of the adepti, you notice a single qingxin flower on a small cliff edge above you. The same flowers your family would have in your house, the same smell of the perfume your mother had worn. ‘If I can reach it, I can have a small piece of home with me when I return to Xiao.’ you resolve yourself to act before fully thinking it through.

As you reach up to pick up the flower, your balance shifts. 

Your feet touch the ground before you could act to stop yourself. 

You try desperately to return to the horse but it is too late. The last three hundred years catch up to you before you could even raise your hand to touch the horse. Your hand falls through the horse, no longer able to touch it as the adepti energy that once allowed you to was broken as soon as your feet touched Liyue soil. 

Yet as you feel yourself fading away into dust, you look up at the sky and see the same birds you were once so jealous of. The birds weaving through the sky as they dance along the wind. These birds will be the last thing you see before dying and you think to yourself.

 ‘Is this the cost of freedom?’

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

OISIN - 4* CASTER - PROFILE

Under the read more!

Summon: “My name is Oisin. I am a poet – and now, I am your Caster-class Servant. Though our time together won’t last forever, I’m glad to meet you, Master."

Initial Information:

A beautiful poet, blessed with eternal youth and wisdom. Though he is a great knight, he is most famous for his silver tongue, which has preserved the legends of many heroes in what is now called the "Fenian" or "Ossianic" Cycle of Irish mythology.

Passive Skills

Territory Creation A

Item Construction C

Divinity C

Active Skills

Heroic Legacy A – Increase defense for three turns and clear own debuffs, increase attack and star generation for all allies for three turns.

Blessings of Youth A – Apply invincibility for 3 turns, apply Arts, Quick, and Buster up for 3 turns. Costs 9 critical stars.

Storyteller B – Drain all enemy NP charge, increase own NP charge, increase party NP gain for 3 turns.

NOBLE PHANTSAM: Dord Fianna – the War Cry to Defend Humanity (QUICK)

Area of effect Noble Phantasm that deals damage to all enemies, special bonus damage to any Threat to Humanity trait enemies. Applies defense down, critical strength down, and slight chance to inflict Terror status to all enemies. Applies attack up, critical strength up, and NP damage up to all allies for 3 turns.

Lines - Room

Idle: “Master, are you doing anything right now? If you’re bored, I can show you the song I’m working on now. No? You’d rather go outside? Well, that’s alright, too. I’ll tag along.”

Master-Servant Relationship: “I’m used to working, living, and fighting alongside others, so this situation is fine for me. Honestly, it brings back pleasant memories.”

Opinion of Master: “I could write a thousand songs about your adventures. I really do consider it to be a privilege to fight at your side!”

Scheherazade: “I think she and I could have a lot in common. And so beautiful too… hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m happily married, you know!”

Author Servants: “There are a lot of very talented people here. I consider myself a formidable opponent, but I think I’ll work a little harder, regardless of that. [laugh]”

Saints: “It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I can’t really understand them. I have my reasons, but that may be the one story I’m not interested in telling.”

Irish Servants: “There are so many famous heroes here from ages past. Of course, I already know the tales by heart but I wonder if there would be any differences in the first-hand accounts…”

Diarmuid: “Diarmuid! It’s been too long since I’ve seen your face! Master, this is the only person in the world who is smarter than my father. He always used to beat us at chess, and that’s just the start of it. I’m sure you already know. What? Oh, don’t be modest! And here – look! I brought you some letters from your relatives. They say you hardly ever visit anymore and – hey, where are you going?!”

Fionn: “Ahh… It’s good to see him in his prime like this. He seems to be very at ease here. Seeing that he’s able to smile and relax like this… honestly, he looks just as Mother always described him. Ah, wait a moment. Please don’t ever tell him I said that.”

Lines – Battle

DECK: QQ/AA/B

Start 1: “Just because I am an artist doesn’t mean that I can’t do battle when I need to.”

Start 2: “That look on your face… I have to wonder if you’re not taking me seriously. Well, it can’t be helped. Best of luck to you!”

Skill 1: “This is the blessing I was given.”

Skill 2: “Hmm… still a bit out of tune.”

Skill 3: “With the strength of my own limbs.”

Skill 4: “With actions that will match my speech.”

Attack: [IDK SOME NOISE]

Extra Attack 1: “With purity in our hearts!”

Extra Attack 2: “You won’t underestimate me a second time!”

Noble Phantasm Activation: “If the time has come to defend humanity – then I will serve with all the power I have.”

Noble Phantasm 1: “For the things we have forgotten, and for all that we have to gain – there is something that I, too, must protect. I swear that I shall defeat all evil in the world. With the purity of our hearts – Dord Fianna!”

Noble Phantasm 2: “This is a story of those who stood should to shoulder to defend humanity's destiny, from all that would covet and destroy it. No matter when, or where, we will always rise to meet this challenge. This is our sacred duty – Dord Fianna."

Noble Phantasm 3: “This hunting horn is not for making music – if you’re skittish, you might want to cover your ears. Listen – to our sacred battle cry!”

Injured 1: “Rude!”

Injured 2: “At least make sure to avoid my face!”

Incapacitated 1: “It seems that… once again… I can’t stay beside you until the end… I’m… sorry…”

Incapacitated 2: “It’s always like this, huh… Strange… this time, it doesn’t hurt…”

Victory 1: “I told you from the start. Before I am an artist, I am also a knight!”

Victory 2: “You know, I think I could make a song about this victory. Someone give me a tune! Hey… wait a minute… why are you all walking away?”

Bond 1: “You know, Master, I spent a long time out of human society. So, I need you to tell me to my face if I ever say something strange. Seriously. I’m not joking. I really don’t know what people talk about these days. I’m counting on your guidance.”

Profile 1: Oisin, the son of the legendary hero Fionn MacCumhail. Because his father had already eaten the Fish of All Knowledge, he was gifted from birth with wisdom and a quick wit. His name literally means "little deer" or "fawn."

Bond 2: “What was it like, growing up with such a famous father? Well, that’s a difficult question. Father has always been good to me. I’ve always felt that the Fianna were my family. Even the most loving and tight knit families sometimes fight… and even so… hm. I wonder… …Um, sorry. [slightly nervous laugh] What was I saying again?”

Profile 2: The story of Oisin's birth is a tragedy. His mother, Sadhbh, was Fionn's second wife. Though they were madly in love, his mother had another suitor, who was a cruel and wicked mage. One day, when Fionn was out hunting, the mage lured the pregnant Sadhbh out of their home by impersonating her husband, and transformed her into a deer before loosing her in the forest.

When Fionn returned to their home and found it empty, he immediately marshaled his knights and began to search for them, leaving no stone under-turned.

Eventually, the toddler Oisin was recovered - but his mother was never seen again.

Bond 3: “Yes, yes. My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. Every man says that about his wife, but in my case, it’s actually true! She’s a wonderful, wonderful woman, and her family always treated me so kindly. I simply lost track of time, that’s all. Yes, I always meant to go back and visit, but the opportunity always… Eh? I trailed off again? I’m not sure why I keep getting lost in thought. Anyway, let’s talk about something else.”

Profile 3: Fionn was never the same after Sadhbh's disappearance. Plunged into a deep mourning, it was said that his entire personality shifted, until he was nearly a shadow of his former, magnanimous self. It was Oisin who volunteered to seek a new bride for his father, perhaps desperate to see his father smile again. It was these events that eventually lead to the Pursuit, another tale that is narrated in the Fenian Cycle.

Bond 4: “Was it hard? Yes, I suppose it was. All the places that I had loved, and all the people I had loved were gone. Even my own father. Even my first son. And then, I was even stupid enough to fall off my horse. Hah. Sorry, Master, I’ll go now. No, no. It’s alright. It’s just that I would never want you to see me like that. That’s all.”

Profile 4: Like the other Knights of Fianna, Oisin lived a long life full of adventures too numerous to recount in full. He married a fairy woman and went to live in Tir na Nog, the land of eternal youth. Eventually, he decided to return to the mortal world to visit his family. His wife gifted him a magical horse, and told him that he would not be able to dismount, or the blessings of eternal youth that he had been granted would disappear.

When Oisin emerged from the Land of Youth, he discovered that 300 years had passed, and the Fianna had all but completely disappeared.

Bond 5: “I will make sure that they remember you. I’ll fight beside you until the end – and then, I’ll make sure that the world remembers you. Really, it’s the least that I can do. But let’s not talk about depressing things. For some reason, I’ve been wanting to write a love song lately. What do you think? ‘Too early…’ It’s never too early for beautiful music! [laughing] Really, you ought to enjoy life a little more, Master.”

Profile 5: DORD FIANNA - The War Cry to Defend Humanity. A war cry to strike fear in the hearts of humanity's enemies, a power that can wake sleeping kings.

This Noble Phantasm would not normally belong to Oisin. It is said, in Ireland, that their great hero Fionn is not dead, but slumbers beneath a mountain, surrounded by his loyal knights, and that the one who blows upon his hunting horn will rise him from his sleep. When he rises, he will resume his duties, to protect humanity.

But the stories of the Fianna exist in the modern age because, after emerging from Tir na Nog, Oisin wrote them all down. Using his talents for word and song, he told the tales of valor and heroism and adventure, the stories of his friends and family to anyone who would listen. After an accident caused him to fall from the horse that should have carried him back to his beloved wife, Oisin lay dying, feeling each of those 300 years seep back into him, even as he desperately tried to finish the story he was telling.

So in this form, the Dord Fianna is not a war cry, but more like a song.

Bonus Profile, Post Interlude: In one version of the story of Oisin, he encounters a certain saint while traveling around Ireland. The saint listens to the knight's tales, but even so, because Oisin is still a pagan and an immortal himself, he and the saint don't get along very well and part on bad terms. Even though Oisin claims that it wasn't like that, and even so, he never holds grudges, he still can't help but make a face whenever the saint's name comes up in conversation.

[rttnx]

𝙋 𝙔 𝙍 𝙊 𝙈 𝘼 𝙉 𝙄 𝘼

      “   monsters  are  real   ,    and  ghosts  are  real  too   .            they  live  inside  us   ,   and  sometimes  ,   they  win   .    ”

it  was  an  irish  ditty  he  whistled   .   something  old   .   traditional   .   rabastan  couldn’t  quite  remember  the  name   ,   but  it  lived  rent  free  in  his  mind   ;   like  an  earworm   ,   carrying  him  through  the  day  atop  several  musical  notes  .

he  would  sing   ,   but  the  lyrics  evaded  him   .   that  and  rodolphus  once  kindly  informed  him  that  he  sounded  like  a  dying  pig  on  a  hot  summer  day  . 

so  he  whistled   ,   shaking  the  giant  tin  bucket  as  gasoline  splashed  about   .   he  moved  to  the  tune   ,   holding  the  container  in  place  before  the  melody  picked  up  again   ,   and  then  emptying  its  contents  with  a  bob  and  tilt  of  his  head   .    he  walked  around  the  room  (  or  maybe  danced  was  the  right  word   )   as  he  covered  the  ground  with  enough  gasoline  to  burn  for  days   .

“   please   ,   ”    a  weak  voice  muttered   . 

rabastan  paid  it  no  mind   .   the  song  was  still  going  and  the  bucket  wasn’t  empty  yet   .

a  crash  was  heard  behind  him  as  irish  men  ,  burly  in  size  and  tiny  in  mental  capacity  ,  rummaged  through  the  house   .   galleons  upon  galleons  were  stashed  in  the  small  cottage   ,   proving  to  be  worth  more  than  ten  times  what  the  land  they  stood  on  was  worth   .  

 they  stuffed  bags  filled  with  money   ,   quite  literally  cleaning  house   .

“   please   ,   ”   the  weak  voice  cracked   ,   sobs  escaping  his  mouth  as  he  pleaded  . 

the  brown  haired  criminal  was  raised  to  believe  that  begging  was  a  tool  used  only  by  the  pathetic  and  weak   .   lestrange  men  never  asked   .   they  never  pleaded   .   they  simply  took   .   so  when  a  voice  would  raise  an  octave  ,   or  someone  would  adopt  a  widened  expression  like  that  of  a  puppy   ,   he  wanted  to  cringe   .   it  was  pitiful   .

and  yet   ,   even  under  that  stern  belief   ,   he  knew  he  had  begged  before  .   recalled  it  quite  clearly  ,  really   .    but  never  for  his  life   .   rab  only  begged  for  things  worth  begging  for   .

and  this  man’s  life  clearly  wasn’t  worth  the  snot-infested  sobbing  .  

ew  .

“   please   .   ”

“  jesus   .   wish  you  weren’t  so  repetitive  there  ,   bud .   ”   he  responded   ,  cigarette  tucked  neatly  behind  his  ear  as  he  tossed  the  bucket  carelessly  to  the  side   .   being  mindful  to  step  on  the  areas  of  the  floor  without  gasoline   ,   he  practically  skipped  to  the  bloodied  man  who  remained  tied  to  a  chair  in  the  middle  of  the  ransacked  room  . 

rabastan  moved  as  if  he  had  endless  energy   ,   but  he  couldn’t  have  been  more  exhausted  .  he  was  worn  down  to  the  very  marrow  of  his  very  fatigued  bones   .   the  job  always  left  him  feeling  like  that  .  empty  .  absolutely  depleted  .   missing  any  hint  or  spark  of  whatever  humanity  he  could  scrounge  together  on  his  best  day  .   it  was  hard  not  to  feel  that  way  when  he  lived  a  monotonous  existence  filled  with  nothing  but  violence   ,  manipulation   ,   and  the  ever  sharp  dagger  plunged  in  his  back  by  his  own  family  members   .   

frankly  ,  he  could  not  care  less  about  the  man  drenched  in  gasoline  ,   crying  for  his  life  as  if  it  meant  anything  to  begin  with   .

“  i’m  sorry  i  tricked  you  ,  i  didn’t            “

“  ah  ah  !  “    rab  admonished  with  two  wags  of  his  calloused  finger   ,   moving  to  press  the  digit  against  the  man’s  lips  .    “  i  think  it’s  adorable  you  thought  i  didn’t  know  .  you’re  a  smart  man   ,   so  give  me  credit  for  being  a  clever  one  too  .   ”

the  man  ,   ulrich   ,   shook  in  his  seat   .  it  was  a  nasty  combination  of  being  cold  from  the  liquid  and  of  being  terrified  of  ,  well  ,   the  lot  of  it  .   he  looked  as  if  he  wanted  to  speak   ,   but  he  couldn’t  bring  himself  to  chance  it   .

“  go  on   ,  ”   rabastan  encouraged   ,  albeit  with  slight  irritation   .

“  if  you  knew   ,   why  didn’t  you   ...   ”

“  why  didn’t  i  stop  you   ?   ”   he  finished  for  him   .    “   gold  fucking  star   ,  ulrich   .   didn’t  i  say  it   ?   didn’t  i  tell  him  he  was  a  smart  guy  ?   ”   rabastan  turned  toward  a  large  blond  man  who  had  recently  stuffed  a  bag  to  the  brink  with  galleons   .   following  a  grunt   ,   he  swung  the  bag  over  his  shoulder  and  gave  a  stern  nod  .

“  sure  did  ,  boss   .   told  him  to  his  face   ,   you  did  .  ”

“  i  did  .  ”   he  nodded  in  agreement  before  turning  back  to  the  man  in  the  chair  .   “  and  you  really  are  ,   i  mean  wow  .  aside  from  your  proclivity  for  crossing  the  wrong  people   ,   that  was  quite  a  business  plan  .  i  watched  you  for  months   ,   workin’  your  ass  off  and  getting  nothing  but  top  grade  results  .  and  i  really  appreciate  it   ...   you  makin’  all  that  money  for  me  .   ”

the  man  froze   ,   suddenly  aware  that  the  brilliance  of  his  betrayal  was  only  because  rabastan  had  allowed  it  .  the  younger  lestrange  son  covered  up  his  tracks   ,   giving  him  the  opportunity  to  run  his  business  without  a  single  hitch   .   had  oisin  or  rodolphus  known   ?   he  would  have  been  dead  within  hours   .   and  the  money   ?   nonexistent  .  rabastan  saw  the  potential  in  him  and  he  wanted  to  push  it   ,   to  see  how  far  he  could  take  it   .   and  even  with  the  theatrics  and  the  threats   ,   he  knew  there  was  a  possibility  that  ulrich  would  survive   .   he  just  needed  to  want  it  enough  .

“  now  i  get  to  kill  you  ,   steal  your  hard-earned  fortune   ,   punish  your  loyal  followers   ,   and  sell  all  your  merchandise   .  and  who  knows   ,   ”    he  paused   ,   taking  a  moment  to  remove  the  cigarette  from  behind  his  ear  and  place  it  between  his  lips   ,   lighting  it  nonchalantly  before  finishing  his  thought   .   ”  maybe  i’ll  fuck  your  wife  too  .   ”

smoke  cascaded  from  his  mouth  as  he  leaned  forward    .   “   c’mon  now   ,   give  us  a  kiss  .   ”   he  muttered  with  a  wicked  smirk  before  transferring  the  lit  cigarette  to  ulrich’s  lips   .   all  they  needed  was  a  loose  bit  of  ash  to  fall  on  his  person   ,   or  anywhere  in  the  room  really   ,   and  it  would  be  game  over  .   “   enjoy   .   it’s  my  favorite  brand  .   ”

taking  a  stand  and  walking  toward  the  front  door  of  the  house   ,   he  motioned  for  his  men  to  follow   .   the  windows  had  been  boarded  up   ,   so  the  shift  from  complete  darkness  to  bright  sunlight  caused  his  features  to  contort  drastically   .   fuck   ,   he  muttered  under  his  breath  before  walking  down  the  steps   .

a  sound  emerged  behind  them   ,   a  small  gust  of  wind  tickling  his  back  as  he  made  it  to  the  sidewalk   .   of  course   ,   the  wizard  could  make  an  educated  guess   .   short  styled  tufts  of  chestnut  hair  canted  to  the  side  as  he  turned  ,  quietly  appraising  the  house  as  it  was  being  slowly  engulfed  in  flames  .   ulrich  hadn’t  lasted  very  long   .

“   that’s  a  shame   ,   ”    rabastan  sighed  in  disappointment   ,   the  edges  of  his  lips  curled  downward  to  showcase  a  frown   .   part  of  him  wanted  the  man  to  survive   ,   if  only  to  preserve  whatever  clever  ideas  he  had  stashed  away  in  that  head  of  his   .   regardless  of  the  betrayal  ,   even  he  had  to  admit  ulrich  walsh  had  a  talent  for  what  they  did  .   it  was  a  waste  .

“   sir   ?   ”

“  i  would’ve  eaten  the  goddamn  cigarette   .  ”

he  watched  the  fire  before  him   ,   entranced  by  the  anarchy  of  it  all   .    by  the  way  the  flames  shifted  and  danced   .    he  felt  like  a  fire  himself   .  he  was  becoming  unhinged  ;  unresponsive   ;  like  chaos  in  human  form  and  he  desperately  needed  someone  to  drench  him  in  water   ,   if  only  to  smoke   out  the  real  him   .   but  the  real  him  was  hidden  in  a  cluster  of  flames  and  soon  he  would  be  just  like  ulrich   :   ash  and  dust  and  regrets   .

“  give  it  time  and  put  the  fire  out  ,   then  take  the  money  to  o’sullivan  .   he’s  got  the  books  and  he’ll  compare  .   ”   rabastan  wiped  a  spec  of  dust  from  his  black  coat  before  flipping  the  collar  up  ,   protecting  his  neck  from  the  harsh  winds  he  would  feel  after  disapparating  .   things  were  about  to  get  very  cold  for  the  younger  lestrange  man  .

“  you’re  not  joining  us   ?   ”

“   no  ,   ”   he  replied  quickly  ,  shoving  his  hands  into  his  pockets  as  he  turned  to  leave   .   “   i  have  a  funeral  to  get  to  .   ”

[delucadarling]

My MOTW character, Minnie, who can LITERALLY read minds keeps on missing out on Big Reveals of other characters being monsters/magic, and I am endlessly entertained by it. 

Session 1 - Ruth (Emma’s PC) is a werewolf (kinda) and uses her Big Spooky Teeth to fight a kelpie. Jimmy (Kane’s PC) sees this. Minnie is too busy trying to find something to throw at the kelpie to notice.

Session 2 - A mysterious man comes to the cottage that The Gang have broken into and are in the middle of pilfering (Minnie collected a Spirit Friend). He’s very shady and spooky, Minnie doesn’t notice and is mostly embarrassed to have been caught stealing and trespassing. Everyone fucks up their rolls to try and convince the guy Eyyyy We’re Totally Supposed To Be Here (including Minnie trying to manipulate him telepathically). The man is amused and decides to leave them be.

Apparently this was supposed to turn into an encounter, because the guy (Oisin) is a dullahan and EVERYONE ELSE saw the guy pull his head off before taking off in his cart. 

Except Minnie. Who was like ‘PHEW that was close, that guy almost reported us to the police! Anyways, time to talk to my spirit bro’.

Session 3 - N/A

Session 4 - The Gang needs to talk to the undertaker because there’s a dead body running around and hey, maybe the guy who processes dead bodies would know why that is.

Oh shit! It’s Oisin! Minnie’s like ‘Well isn’t that a funny coincidence. OH LOOK A BIG BLACK DOGGIE’

In exchange for his help, Oisin wants ‘a terrible secret’. Ruth shows off her Spooky Wolf Teef.

Minnie is off fucking around with a cup of tea or something and MISSES IT AGAIN.

She does learn Oisin is a dullahan though and is like ‘omg you guys WHAT’

Session 5 - Minnie splits the party (sorry Sadbh, you’re a gem) and goes to harass the neighbors of the dead woman running around. In the meantime, one of the NPCs Eoin gets caught doing magic. Minnie remains clueless.

[ikkaku-of-heart]

📖

Send “📖” to have my muse tell yours a fairytale, myth, or story!

Sweat dripped down the back of Ikkaku’s neck as she stood before the supposed God. She wasn’t religious, but she’d seen his lightning powers, so deity or not, she knew defying his request likely wouldn’t end well for her. But why did he want a story? Was this a Scheherazade situation where she’d have to keep telling stories to amuse him, or else he’d kill her?

If that was the case, she hoped she remembered enough of her grandfather’s tales to last until Law could rescue her.

“Once, in a faraway land, there lived a man Oisin. He was a handsome man, the son of a great king, and tales of his great deeds and good looks traveled far and wide. One day, he was approached by the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. ‘I am Niamh of the Golden Hair, and my father is the king of Tir na nOg, the Land of Youth. I have come to ask for your hand in marriage. Should you agree, I will take you to my kingdom where you shall never age or grow ill, never die, and may live a life of leisure for all time’.“

Ikkaku paused a moment, hoping she wasn’t boring Enel enough for him to electrocute her. “Of course, Oisin agreed, because who wouldn’t? That’s one hell of a proposal, especially from the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. So, he bid his family and friends farewell, hopped on the back of her white horse, and they galloped off into the mists. They were married in Tir na nOg, where they were happy for three hundred years, give or take.”

“Thing is, immortality gets boring after a while, and Oisin started to miss the world he came from and the people he’d left. So, he decided to go back for a visit. Niamh reluctantly permitted it and loaned him her white horse, but warned him not to dismount or allow so much as his toe to touch the ground, as he’d never be able to return to the Land of Youth. He agreed and went on his merry way, confident that he’d be back in no more than a week’s time.”

Shifting awkwardly but too nervous to ask to sit down, she continued, “So he returns to his country only to find that a hell of a lot changes in three hundred years. All the people he knows are dead. The government’s changed significantly since his days as a prince. There are no recognizable landmarks, and he’s basically a stranger in his homeland. So, with a heavy heart, he turns his horse around, ready to return to Tir na nOg. Except as he does, his horse accidentally knocks over an old man. Now, Oisin’s a good guy - he noble deeds were known far and wide for a reason - so he reaches down to help the man up. Except he leaned too far and fell out of his saddle.”

She took a deep breath, hoping that her finale wouldn’t amuse the god enough to keep her alive. “The second he touches the ground, the enchantment that kept him young for three hundred years broke, and he instantly turned into an old man as the horse vanished into the mist. So, he’s trapped in his much-changed homeland where he knows no one, can never see his wife again, he’s stuck as an old man, and for extra irony, he’s still has just enough of Tir na nOg’s enchantment clinging to him to keep him from dying right away, so he’s forced to live out the rest of his life as a blind, withered beggar. So, moral of the story; if you’re going to go out of your way to do a good deed, make sure to keep your ass in the saddle.”