#aziraphale is a bastard

[yvesribastudio]

Welcome to my new comic, "Shearing the Shuhite"! It's set immediately after the final scene in the Good Omens Season 2 minisode, "A Companion to Owls." It's a fluffy, SFW story, with a bit of ridiculousness and the mildest angst possible.

This is my first full color serial comic, posting weekly to my Patreon. Consider becoming a patron to support my work and get this comic a week earlier than my social posts. I'm also offering a one week free trial to my account, so you can check out more of my art!

[aidaran-alha]

After the angel leaves, Crowley is left hopeless and alone on Earth, finding solace in his developing friendship with Nina and Maggie. Aziraphale, instead, finds himself trying to stop a monstrous system that only cares about destruction in a one-man war. Yet, it's only when they're together that they can really fight it.

Unexpected allies, spy games and conspiracies, while Nina's shop gets an influx of occult forces in desperate need of coffee.

--------------- Now the board had basic rules: Don’t eat the cups. Tentacles now forbidden. Order something or leave. Cutlery only for eating. Watch your language (yes, your Arameus too). Ask before miracling. Neutral ground, don’t fight. No weird stuff in your beverages. -------------- “Excuse me, can someone explain what’s going on?” Crowley finally snapped. Aziraphale grabbed her hand excitedly, all but bouncing and giggling. “We’re kidnapping the Messiah, Crowley!” --------------- “We can’t be the only ones who see all this is wrong. Those of you who believe in peace, come with me. Those of you who are tired of killing your own brothers and sisters, come with me.”

[evilasiangenius]

“Actually, I disagree.”  The humans began to murmur among themselves as Aziraphale stood up, pushing his chair back, in the guise of that tall lean human.  “I, Seth, that is, a very important Lord of the Ennead and son of Nut, do hereby proclaim my claim to the throne of Egypt.  By which I mean, I should be the rightful king,” Aziraphale said very loudly and clearly, to the gasps of the humans about him.

Seth’s cold hard eyes passed over the crowd, and perhaps there was a little flinch, but Crawley did not notice it.

“Lord Seth, the demon slayer?  I thought he was dead.”

“Last I saw him, he wasn’t breathing.”

“That’s Seth for you all right.  Mysterious in his form-”

“Well, I’m not dead,” Aziraphale snapped, in the deep and gravelly voice of Seth.  “And as you can see I am breathing just fine.  Certainly I am standing alive before you, o princes and magnates of the two lands.”

“And what kind of a hat is that?  I thought Seth wore a jackal headdress.”

“Looks like a greyhound to me.”

“A dog and a jackal are two different creatures-”

“It’s an ass.  Obviously an ass.”

“No, no.  I think the animal of Seth is an oryx antelope.”

“Ooh, is it a camel?”

“No, idiot, it’s obviously a jerboa.  You know, those tiny desert jumping mouse things with the long skinny legs.  Don’t eat them, they’re not worth the trouble.”

“I could have told you that.  Why would you want to eat a mouse?  And it’s clearly a giraffe.  Is it a giraffe, Seth?”

“Tapir!  I think it’s a tapir!”

“Oh I like this!  This is a fun game, do you think it’s an okapi?”

“Nah, more ordinary.  Maybe a boar?”

“Oh please, boars don’t have tall ears like that-”

“But donkeys do.”

“I already said ass!”

“That’s different from a donkey-”

“Not it’s not!”

“A fennec fox.  The animal of Seth is clearly a fennec fox.”

“I’m going to guess that it’s an elephantfish.”

“Fish don’t have ears!”

“What about the nḥ bird?”

“Birds don’t have ears either, you fool!”

Seth threw up his hands in exasperation.  “It’s not any of those animals!  It’s...it’s a...erm, a Seth animal, all right?  A very special and unique creature meant to represent me, Seth.  I’m Seth.   Obviously.”

x

[fenrislorsrai]

The Pleasure of Your Company (NSFW)

“Do you think you can stand up?”

“No. Not sure I have legs at the moment.”

“Not the ‘up’ I meant…” As Aziraphale ran a soft finger along the outside of Crowley’s thigh,  Crowley became aware he did have legs and they were currently too sensitive for this. He twitched away. Aziraphale switched to firmly stroking his leg with a flat hand instead, working the tension out of his muscles until he was boneless again.

“I know I dozed off after, but not that long.” Crowley was considering doing so again. He wanted to bask in the warm glow of Aziraphale’s affection now that he could.

“It wasn’t. You just look so lovely, I was hoping for thirds.”

“Oh, seconds wasn’t enough.”  Crowley wrapped an arm around Aziraphale, pulling him up to rest on Crowley’s chest. He was heavy, but it was a comfortable weight that made him feel safe.

“Not where you’re concerned. But I can be patient.” The half-hard cock against Crowley’s hip said that patience would only last so long.

“You’re a terror when you’re like this.” Crowley then dropped the teasing tone as he ran a hand through Aziraphale’s hair. “I’m not going anywhere. No more stolen time. No sneaking off after.”

“Just a hard habit to break. You’re quite irresistible.” Aziraphale nuzzled into Crowley’s neck and sighed, but it was a sound of contentment. 

“I’d put my trousers on, but that would just encourage you to get them off again. Too sexy for my own good.”

Aziraphale chuckled into his shoulder. “Perhaps pajamas instead. Though you’re lovely any way.”

“So are you, you relentlessly horny bastard.  I miiiiiiight be persuaded on thirds with some sweet talking.”

“Shall I tell you everything I want to do with your lovely cock?”

“What about the rest of me?”

“Oh the whole package is quite nice, but I am most interested in one particular part right now.” Aziraphale ran a teasing hand along Crowley’s hip bone, making it clear what he wanted to do next.

Crowley inhaled sharply. “Still sensitive. Words only, please.”

“Please. Oh, you are done in to be so polite. I shall use my tongue only.”

Crowley flushed at that, but couldn’t deny the tone was effective.

“Just sweet talk you ‘til your little soldier is ready to stand at attention again.”

“Little soldier, really.”

“Perhaps something more old fashioned then? Gospel-pipe, perhaps?”

“I can’t believe you put that in a report!”

“You were well-thwarted by my playing.”

“A right menace you are. Give me your worst.”

He felt Aziraphale smile against his shoulder and then he whispered in his ear “Your… baloney pony?”

“That’s it, I am divorcing you.”

“We’re not married.”

“Might as well be. Putting up with this…”

“Would you like to be?” Aziraphale’s voice was so soft and shy suddenly that Crowley realized it wasn’t a joke.

“Gosh. Yeah. On one condition. Ask again when I have trousers on.”

Aziraphale snorted but snuggled into his shoulder.

“Deal.”

[ato-dato]

Go on, burst every one of his bubbles why don’t you

[hoarder-of-dragons]

[Season 2 summed up]

Aziraphale's thoughts: Oh I shall team up with Crowley and make Nina and Maggie fall in love and make them confess. Oh what if I also confess then. I need to prepare everything to set the scene.

Still Aziraphale's thoughts: Ooohh a ball with dancing and tiny snacks to make it fancy and it will be like a Jane Austen novel coming to life and then I will ask Crowley to dance and all our problems will go away as I stare into his eyes....

Crowley's thoughts: Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe FUCK YOU GABRIEL Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe PLEASE HOLD MY HAND AZIRAPHALE Keep Aziraphale safe JANE AUSTEN WAS AN AUTHOUR?!?! Keep Aziraphale safe-

[aziraphalalala]

It's been 3 months and we're still here, stuck like flies in amber in the last 15 minutes of Season 2, Episode 6.

Send help. And crepes.

[aye-of-newt]

eventually some poor whickber street shopkeeper is going to draw the short straw and be sent over to the dirty donkey to ply info from the drunk and clearly devastated crowley while his defenses are down and they’ll be utterly shocked and horrified when crowley slurs out the explanation that aziraphale has “gone to heaven”

[lineffability]

sometimes I see people calling Aziraphale selfish in an accusatory way, as if it's a flaw that needs to be smoothed out, as if it isn't a trait that is at once defiant and emancipating, as if his selfishness isn't mostly wielded in an empowering and kind way, as if it's categorically bad to want things for yourself, to enjoy them, to have and keep them, as if selfish isn't the most revolutionary thing an angel can be

[rustic-ghoul]

Be more like Aziraphale.

Read books, break the rules and be the bitchiest bastard about it.

…also be kind ✌️

[unforgivablego]

Neil, you’re beautiful BASTARD

[dalliancekay]

The 'Aziraphale Still Believes in Heaven' Take

Is one that I see so often. Too often. The way many fans (still) say Aziraphale is so naïve, he's never learned anything, he never changes, Metatron just offered him a promotion and he happily jumped on it. Happy to go back to Heaven. Still in their clutches. Leaving Crowley behind. Cos nothing lasts forever. Amirite? Poor long-suffering Crowley. So patient. Goes through so much. Aww. Takes that say that because Crowley never told Aziraphale about the venom in Gabriel's "Shut your stupid mouth and die already", Aziraphale has no idea that Heaven is not the good guys, that he still believes they are on the side of truth and light.

Takes that claim Aziraphale wants Crowley to come to Heaven and be an angel again so they can be happy like in the good old times. Takes that basically say that Aziraphale is stupid. And blind. LISTEN Do you mean this Aziraphale:

Who knew before Crowley did that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, that things are wrong and one can get in a lot of trouble for a thing as minor as a suggestion to improve things. Is this the Aziraphale that would seriously suggest to Crowley, who he was immediately deeply anxious over, to go back to 'good old times'? What good old times? How is Heaven a place of light when:

A bunch of angels comes down to Earth to bully and PUNCH ONE OF THEIR OWN?

Why would he think they are the light when they shame him for being who he is?

Yes, I HC is that ultimately, Aziraphale still believes in God, in Her inherent goodness, even if Her tasks were often odd... and not lining up with what he thought was right. He thinks (remember my own HC) something somewhere went wrong with the what She wanted and the how it was understood and executed. And yes, Aziraphale wants to do good. But that's not tied to him being an angel. And it's not a bad thing ffs! Crowley does good as well. Aziraphale might be the only one who knows, but he knows. Maybe getting humans out of the Garden to seek knowledge was always a (certainty) possibility, and maybe not, but it was Aziraphale's decision to arm them.

And She didn't make him Fall for it. And do you remember when:

Aziraphale first openly questioned that Heaven was actually doing what God actually wanted? He had a think after the Flood, didn't he. He did what he thought was right. He trusted Crowley over his fellow angels, with his own sense of rightness. He and Crowley saved the kids that Aziraphale triple checked the Archangels saw no problem in letting die to make things easier. And She didn't make him Fall for it. In Edinburgh:

Az re-evaluated the thinking he was taught and did a full 180 degree turn, trying in few hours to save the grave-robbing girl AND the possible future lives of children that could be helped via more learning. And when we come to Metatron and his threats, we don't see the full conversation, but don't we see enough? Aziraphale says that he's not interested. Metatron keeps nagging at him. Pushing the symbolic coffee from Coffee or Death at him. Flattering him with obvious untruths. After all, Aziraphale knows what Heaven thinks of him. He tried to reason with Metatron before. Metatron tells him they know how deep his disobedience lies:

Aziraphale is not a fool. He knows this is an offer of come quietly or we will find a way to destroy you and your demon this time. Aziraphale didn't have to hear Metatron's quip of: "For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice, makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem." He knows the system is rotten. He knows for a LONG time. Did you see his face when he met Muriel and realised what a lonely sad existence they lead.

AND Crowley doesn't love Aziraphale despite the fact that he's being used to get out of trouble, being made to listen about random things the angel enjoys from symphonies to food and plays, and who continues to believe in goodness and kindness. CROWLEY LOVES AZIRAPAHLE BECAUSE OF THOSE THINGS AND because he sees Aziraphale for what he is, an angel who thinks for himself, changes his mind, learns, angel who is brave, who stands for the right thing, who sacrifices his own happiness for the safety of others, especially the demon he loves. They are the same. They are lonely. They are one of a kind. And they love each other.

Aziraphale wants to stay at home. In the home he built for himself and Crowley. On Earth where he's found so much to love. But he knows it is impossible. As Crowley confesses his love, Aziraphale struggles to stay on his plan to push him away, to make him stay. He'll miss Crowley terribly. He wants them to be together. For him, they were an 'us' the whole S2. However tenuously. Fragile existence and all that.

But even this was ripped away from him. And whatever he's planning, he knows he needs to do the first steps on his own. He can't submit Crowley to the torture that being in Heaven is going to be for him, an unwanted, despised angel. And that would be even worse for an unwanted demon. He had to push him away.

So he leaves. Furious. And determined. Whether it is to burn the place down or find God and ask Her all the questions to Her face I don't know. But his love will push him through.

And if I see one more simplistic take of the snarky demon is really good isn't he, so that means the stuffy angel is bad (and needs to change to be worthy of the demon) I will curse their dreams with lines about shades of grey. AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ALREADY LOVE EACH OTHER

[knifeforkspooncup]

Sundays are for thinking about Just Enough of a Bastard Aziraphale and Little Bit of a Good Person Crowley

Reblog with your favourite examples, these are some of mine

[arderei]

1960’s female presenting azi and crowley real?!

IM SCREAMING AND CRYING I CANNOT BELIEVE WE ALMOST HAD THIS !?!!! as soon as I saw neil gaimans post on the cut eras in season 2 and I saw 1960S AMERICAN FEMALE PRESENTING!!!!!!!?!! I had to draw it. I need it. My poor little lesbian heart can’t take it any more.

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

Aziraphale's going to tell Crowley he can live with him in the bookshop by pulling the same "you can stay at my place...if you like..." that Crowley did at the end of series 1 I can feel it in my fucking bones

[fyoht]

oh my god. look at him. what a little bitch.