#feed the feral Good omens children

[aziraphalalala]

It's been 3 months and we're still here, stuck like flies in amber in the last 15 minutes of Season 2, Episode 6.

Send help. And crepes.

[phoen1xr0se]

To clear up some misinformation:

Bonus info:

[bluberryfields]

Once the strike is over, Michael Sheen should hold a paid live stream Good Omens discussion to benefit the charity of his choice.

It would combine two of his favorite things: helping people and talking about/embarrassing David Tennant

[spacedace]

Sorta sequel of this post (where Bruce is happy that Damian has totally and completely normal human friends). You don't have to read that one to get this one tho lol.

Slight Trigger Warning: minor description of injuries and blood, including injuries to ears and scalp. It's quick and not much detail on the injuries themselves, but I wanted to give a heads up.

Tim always thought his friend group was the most unhinged in the family.

Not anymore.

His friends at least had enough of a sense of self preservation to book it when Bruce caught them doing something they shouldn't and leveled them with A Look.

Tim's pretty sure Damian's friends call god a bitch to his face everyday and give him a wedgie in a Denny's parking at least twice a week. He's positive he saw them roast one of the League's S tier world ending threats to the point of tears last weekend. The footage was too badly corrupted to prove it, but he knows what he saw.

All of which to say, he's shouldn't be surprised when Bruce levels little Elle Nightingale and her cousin Billy Batson with his patented "You Are In So Much Trouble" BatDad Face (TM) and the little hellions just grin back at him, entirely unaffected. Shouldn't be but still is because holy fuck even Jason will still back off when Bruce levels him with that look. And these kids had the gaul to ask Bruce if they could go get ice cream after they were done here.

Bruce blinks first. It feels like an omen for the ends times.

Tim can't blame him though, you can’t look into the heart of insanity and chaos like that for too long without risking losing something in the process. Steph was right, they really are nightmare demons sent to feed on their fear and uncertainty.

Billy swipes a smear of blood away from his busted nose with the sleeve of his torn and dirty shirt. Elle's teeth are pink and red from blood - Tim isn't sure if it's better or worse that it's not her blood. Jon was bouncing between fussing over Damian - who Superboy had been mostly able to keep from joining the fight and thus probably saved a couple of lives - and casting worried looks at his two bloody friends as they stood lined up in front of Bruce. At least one of them had enough sense to be wary of that look.

Tim would say that Jon was the well behaved one of the bunch - and worryingly enough he might be - but he'd heard him yelling give em the chair at one of the two scrappers as he and Bruce came running over so he knows it's only the fact that a punch from even a baby Kryptonian would have killed a person that kept the littest Kent out of the fight rather than any idea that the fight itself was wrong. All four children look ruthlessly proud of each other.

The ones the hellions were fighting - a couple of guys Tim's age who had been stupid enough to try and bully Damian at all, let alone in front of his pack of feral raccoons - looked like they'd gone several rounds with Killer Croc before being thrown around by Bane and run over by a car. They deserved it- assholes - but they still looked rough.

One was bleeding from several bite wounds Elle had inflicted on him, earlobes a mess from where the little girl had torn his earrings out, both eyes blackened and swollen to the point he couldn't open them anymore. The other had a large red and bleeding bald spot from where Billy had ripped a good chunk of hair out, nose completely shattered- likely in retaliation for what had been done to Billy's - and elbow hanging at an odd angle. Tim's not sure which one of them had the chair - thankfully one of those fabric folding ones and not something more solid - broken over them, or which hellspawn had taken Jon's suggestion to heart, but either way he could see the twisted up remains of the item in question laying not too far away.

At least the EMTs were ushering the two weeping teens away into ambulances so they could get taken care of. Tim's pretty sure Elle and Billie would try and get a few more hits in otherwise and knowing them he doesn't doubt that at least one of the cops that had shown up on the scene would end up losing a finger or two in the process. Which normally Tim would be fine with - he has files on all of these guys and they deserve way worse than what a couple twelve year olds could do to them - but in this case he's already having a hard time convincing the officers that it's just a matter of some kids defending one of their friends from a couple of bullies.

Ugh. Some people just didn't understand children and it really showed. It was a public park, kids were gonna be kids. Just a normal childhood scrap. The real problem were the highschoolers who tried to start shit with a group of little kids.

Sure the hellions were feral and unhinged enough to be unbothered by Bruce trying to chide them about starting fights instead of getting an adult to help, but at the end of the day playground scuffles will happen and the kids were just defending themselves. Cops should be thankful that BL wasn't able to join them for the day or someone would have ended up shoved into a cooler or something.

Eh, whatever. He got them to drop the assault charges - which were ridiculous, Elle & Billie were normal twelve year olds getting into a fight, it wasn't like it was Damian with all his training and skills - and Bruce had given up on trying to be disapproving of them not reporting the attempted bullying to him instead of handling it themselves. Probably because at the end of the day he was a little proud of the little shits for defending Damian and standing up against some bullies. And really Tim was too. They might be vicious little hellspawns sent there to torment them all, but they were good kids at the end of the day and they cared about Damian enough to throw down with guys twice their size.

Tim pulled up a list of the nearest ice cream places on his phone, Bruce was totally going to cave on that front and even if he didn't Tim was willing to use his executive Big Brother privileges to get them ice cream anyway. He isn’t going to need to though. Jon had thrown his puppy dog eyes into the mix on that front and Tim knows from experience how much a kryptonian looking hopeful could get away with when it came to this family. Hell, Kon had probably taught his little brother that face for these exact kinds of situations because of how effective it was.

"I'm still going to have to tell Jazz about this." Bruce said as they shuffled off towards the restrooms to try and get everyone cleaned up, a parting shot to make up for his failure to cow them earlier.

"Please don't tell her! She’s gonna make us read articles about conflict resolution again!"

"B come on that's no fair! You said we did good not letting those assholes get away with their bullying shit!"

"Language!"

Huh, Tim thought with a grin. Maybe the little demons weren't as terrifyingly unstoppable as he thought.

[losyanya]

i got tagged by @mochacoffee to share 10 niche interests of mine - thank you!

 A hard ask, since Good Omens seemed to wipe my brain of all unrelated thoughts 😆 And even apart from that, my interests mostly revolve around animals, which is a vast topic and hardly a niche thing. But i teased out several specific topics to start out the list..  

1. Urban wildlife. I came to USA from Russia, where one was hard-pressed to find a squirrel around the town. Birds, feral dogs and cats - sure, but all other animals were either at the zoo, at a farm, or deep in the forest. Upon arrival in DC, I remember being glued to the car window on the 3 hour drive to the new home because i saw DEER in suburbia. So, yeah.. the regional differences, the adaptations to co-habitation with humans, the dependence on normal human activity (recently highlighted by COVID) - all that is fascinating.

2. Animal shelter management. Some animal shelters get a bad rep, and some of it is deserved. Others are wonderful places both for pets that come through and for pet adoptive families. What makes a pet shelter “successful”. Why have I had people argue with much conviction that a no-kill shelter is unsustainable, when I had the experience of working at one for years and can vouch for the no-kill policy. It’s a very practical and serious topic, but one very close to my heart.

3. History of domestication. When did dogs first team up with humans, how did little lions manipulate us into feeding and worshiping them, how did we come up with domesticating silkmoths and why did nobody come to ride zebras. I don’t think I need to sell this topic any further. 

4. Modern cultural differences in pet ownership. This is, again, inspired by my foreign heritage.. people in different parts of the world have such strikingly different ideas of what is normal and appropriate as far as pets go - it’s mind-blowing. 

5. Mythological/fantastical anatomy. This is easier to illustrate than explain. Example: how are Sleipnir’s legs positioned/attached? It is like this, in “four rows”?  (Source)

or “two rows”? (Source)

(And yes, I had this interest before I tried to figure out with the fact that GO-typical wing arrangement requires double the humeri/radii/ulnae, and what do these attach to exactly?)

6 & 7. Psychology (and experience) of addiction and eating disorders. One of these has deeply personal relevance; the origin of fascination with the other is less apparent, but the two topics have certain similarities/overlap. This is not something I generally discuss, but it’s fair to say that I’ve consumed a large number of available free documentaries, autobiographies and a fair amount of research studies.

8. r/fifthworldproblems. It’s a very confusing subreddit at first glance, summarized in an ELI5 post as “problems people experience in a hypothetical fifth world that takes place beyond our universe” and “surreal problems in a nightmare HP Lovecraft universe”. I read it regularly and delight in it as a particularly rich creative writing place, which thrives on taking language, norms, logic and turning them on their head. 

9. Anton Chekhov. My favorite classical Russian author since childhood, who captivated me with his mastery of short story. I do believe I have, over time, read the vast majority of his short stories (over 500?) - all that I’ve been able to get my hands on, really. The frequent focus on regular people and everyday problems was uncommon for his time; apart from the brilliant writing itself, it has given me a much better window into that historical period in Russia, than textbooks, and I’ve only extended my love of short story and slice of life since. 

10. History of medicine. This is also a vast topic, some of which is rather boring, so maybe... interesting trivia in history of medicine? innovative strategic thinking of early epidemiology... quackery medical devices... what they used to put in children’s medicine in the 19th century...

This was also long, but I learn from the best (as in, the predecessor of this post in tag tree) 😉

I never know who to tag, but I’ll try @krakensdottir, @deservingporcupine, @sirblackboardmonitor, @whispsofwind, @thyra279​ and obviously - no pressure! And, of course, anyone can participate on their own accord, and I’d love to be tagged if you do - this is a great question, something that is lovely to know about people! 

[bugcthulhu]

Spanish/Iberian mythical creatures: Lots of Bogeymen and other weirdos edition

Calzadilla Lizard: A crocodile-like beast that went around slaughtering entire flocks of sheep until a shepherd killed it by shooting its open throat with a magical shotgun. Its spirit cursed the shotgun to break on the spot so that it would never slay anything again

Patinga: A newt/salamander that is not only intensely poisonous but makes parts of one’s body disappear just by touching them

Lusitanian Dragon: Ocean-dwelling and snake-like, with green scales. A heraldric beast associated with Trebaruna, a pre-celtic goddess of home, battle, death and water currents

Machu Lanu: A bulky, shaggy, bipedal goat with enormous horns and a deformed human face. Can speak, but its voice is terrifyingly loud. 

Tiznau: Though considered a kind of goblin, it is gigantic in size, with black skin and clothes. Bad-tempered, controls the weather

Oiulari: Unseen being that announces its presence with a distant bellow. Answering back typically earns death by huge rock thrown at your direction. Leaves ten-fingered handprints on what it touches

 Deminyo: Small servile demon created by injecting a drop of blood on an egg laid by a black hen, then incubating the egg in a pile of dung. Causes terrible maladies by entering people’s bodies. Independent ones are known as “Demachinyos” and far more dangerous. Only a skilled witch can hope to control them

 Long-Teats Dog: Exactly what it sounds like. This obscene female canine appears at night and is considered an omen of death. Can imitate the sounds of other animals and transform into either crow or a wool yarn. Splits in two or three if struck.

 Ahari: A cave ram. Noted as being servants of Mari, (goddess of earth and consort of the evil dragon god Sugaar), who takes naps on their woolly bodies as pillows and spins with their horns

 Peeira: Feral nymphs that protect, live with, and usually lead packs of wolves. Sometimes said to have the power to cure lycanthropy

 Lehen: Benevolent sea serpent that guides lost sailors

 Etsai: Dragon of devilish disposition that teached science, arts and letters to whoever came to him, with the “payment” that at least one disciple would have to stay in his cave and serve him forever. Under him studied Atarrabi and Mikelatz, the rival sons of Mari and Sugaar

 Akerbeltz: A protector of animals that appears as a male black goat, kind-hearted despite his sinister appearance and possessing healing powers. The arrival of christianism lumped him with the devil and witch covens.

 Maruxaina: A sea nymph/mermaid with luminous eyes. Some tales have her as helpful and warning about incoming storms, but oftentimes she’s malicious, luring sailors towards her death. Her charming ability is such she can make raging whirlpools appear to her victims as calm waters.

 Mulachini Del Cielu: Baby-like beings with only one eye that play in storm clouds and throw lightning bolts

 Camunyes:  Extremely frightful, enormous and filthy bogeyman with shiny eyes, long skeletal claws and huge sharp teeth to gnaw bones with. Partly based on the popular figure of a guerrilla that terrorized French soldiers to avenge the unfair death of his brother.

 Carlanco: Hissing, nondescript goat-eating monster that appears in some fairy tales of Spain and Brazil in a similar vein to the Big Bad Wolf. Claims to have enough strength to tear apart mountains, but tends to be rather ineffective and easily thwarted.

 Jampon: Goblin that sneaks inside houses and eats all the food within

 Traganarru: Sea dragon with power over storms and waterspouts, sinks ships and devours whoever approaches the coast.

 Llufa: Wind spirit/fairy, invisible and silent. Stalks those they perceive as naïve to prank them and laugh at them

 Maru: Subterranean humanoids with two horns that kidnap people and cattle close to their domain

 Pericó: Tiny spirit associated with metal that grows into a giant of solid iron when exposed to fire, smashing all in its wake. Blacksmiths strike their anvils three times before work in order to keep it at bay

  Simanya: Female bogeyman of monstrous appearance and boundless appetite for human flesh, their lairs bursting with the bones of past victims. Frequent mountainous areas traditionally held as belonging to ogres

 Black Bubota: A ghost that takes the form of a black doll to frighten children

 Rabeno: Tall, thin humanoid with pale skin and a short tail. Though it watches over animals, it is a lascivious being that wanders towns to abduct women. Believed to spread leprosy and other severe skin diseases

 Trastolillo: A particularly restless goblin with horns and black fur, making a nuisance of itself on nearby houses and constantly snickering. Particularly fond of making terrible moans at night, startling families awake. Loves milk and might be bribed with it, but it’s just as likely to steal it.

 Manlleu Serpent: A huge snake sporting a hairy mane and a large diamond on its head. Slain by a child that stole the diamond while it was distracted and hid it in a mortar; Trying to get it back, the snake constricted the mortar over and over until it died of exhaustion

 Urco: A large dog with horns, long ears and clad in chains. Emerges from the sea at night, howling furiously.

 Tinyosa: A beautiful, transparent woman that appears in densely fogged areas. A child eater that “sucks” on prey until she eventually swallows it whole

 Aborteiro: Tiny insect that enters the bodies of pregnant women and does exactly what you think it does

 Grunyu: A dark, demonic beast with a guttural voice. Lives in caves by day, roams the forests at night. Hard to see, but if anyone walks past it they will be cursed on the spot and their personality will change for the worse

 Eate: Entity that embodies fire, floods and hurricanes. Incredibly destructive and merciless, but sometimes its fury can be directed by someone holding “rainbow grass”

 Fumera: Bogeyman with seven eyes (4 front, 3 in the back of the head) that appears on Christmas and keeps watch on children, taking away those that succumb to gluttony

 Cul Pelat: Ferocious being that appears in days of strong wind, using it to hide its presence and kidnap children. For some reason its name translates to “Shaved Butt”

 Pollastre: A bogeyman in the form of a foul-tempered rooster that eats the legs off naughty children

 Bofarull: Small demon/goblin that appears within and controls whirlwinds

 Maridillo: “Little hubby”. A multi-colored toad, either velvety in texture or actually wearing small clothes, given to witches as a familiar. Constantly demands food, but also vomits a stinking, black-green liquid useful for poisons and spells

 Cuine: Red-and-white gnomes that live in trees or burrows in fields, watching over children. Rather than talk, they either whistle melodiously or squeal like piglets

 Cazamentides: A really tall bogeyman with iron arms and hooks for fingers. Knows when children have told a lie, and snatches them by the dozen to eat them at sea.

 Currucuca: A bogeyman best described as a disgusting mound of hair. So hairy, in fact, it keeps tripping over itself

 Momerota: Beast between bull and horse that launches fireworks from its horns. Chases after people, but is in turn killed for its wine-like blood.

 En Micó: A spirit of brine that turns everything it touches into salt, living beings included

 Bilbiana: Half-woman, half-otter bogeyman. Takes beating her with wooden clubs to drive her away.

 Ceocrobol: Strange beings described as riding enormous birds covered in grass that they feed upon, and thus rarely touch the ground

 Goja:  Water nymphs sometimes shown with dragonfly wings. Their ethereal clothes grant good luck and prosperity to the owner, but get caught stealing them and you’ll be turned to stone. Known to marry mortals now and then: end up vanishing forever the moment their significant others blurt out their true nature

 Mascard Bull: Black and wreathed in flames, runs around mountains.

 Furtaperas: A grotesque, humanoid bogeyman that actually craves pears above all things, only turning to children if it can’t find any

 Peladits: A tall, thin ogre covered in black hair that controls armies of lice.

 Marmajor: Mountain-dwelling bogeyman apparently so good at what it does it is ALWAYS encountered gnawing on children, and carries so many upon its back it leaves a trail of wounded toddlers in its wake.

 Trubinco: Goblin that enters houses and makes a mess of things unless the owners offer them their favourite toy: A pinecone slathered in tar

 Malacosa: Black, pointy-headed being of great size that does nothing but follow people anywhere they go, even waiting outside if they take shelter

 Gops: Extremely violent giants that not only prey on humans but also their own dead and wounded. Have disgustingly matted hair, long beards growing out of their nose, and a single fang

 Taranganyo: Goblins that enter the bodies of children and give them rickets.

 Peirot: Bogeyman that appears monstrously bloated from all the children its swallowed. Constantly dancing

 Carpia: A ghostly bird that brings bad luck, sometimes appears as a thin, wrinkled hag

 Drago: Enormous, has a human-like head an arms but the body of a snake or basilisk. Enslaved an entire region, threatening the locals via terrible bellows to feed its bottomless hunger. After having devoured all the cattle they had to offer, it went on to consume every last human in the vicinity. Beyond that its ultimate fate is unclear: some say it starved to death, where others claim it left to Africa.

 Moixina: Female bogeyman that stalked water springs. Some describe it as a beautiful nymph, while others claim it’s some kind of cat-like animal

Seven-Headed Cuca: Bogeyman that might be either a giant worm, or a dragon

[writingthingsisdifficult]

Synnøve celebrates 1000 followers with a writing challenge.

Yup. You read right. I’ve wanted to host a writing challenge for so long, and now seemed like a good time. I really hope you want to celebrate with me.

Here’s what we’re gonna do:

You decide the character (please, no shipping – while I judge no one for it, I don’t really like reading ships, so…), and pick a monster from my list – they’re all monsters from my childhood, (and from Scandinavian culture and mythologies).  Incorporate it as you wish. Let me know which one you want so I can cross it from the list.

You then have until March 1st to post your story. Please tag me and with SynsMonsterChallenge.

Monster list under the cut.

The following monsters and creatures were frequent visitors in my father’s bedtime stores that he told me when I was little (yes, I loved these stories, and yes, I am well aware the reason I am afraid of the dark):

1.     Fenrir – the huge wolf responsible for Ragnarok.

2.     Nidhogg – the serpent who’s constantly trying to eat the tree of life, Yggdrasil.

3.     Troll – a giant (like: they’re often mistaken for hills or mountains). Slow (they’ve got moss growing on them) and ugly (more often than not they have multiple heads that argue with each other, and only one eye), and usually dumb, but knows how to survive in the cold mountains and forests. Easy to fool, but if it catches you, it will crush you with its bare hands. Turns to stone if caught outside in the sun.

4.     The Mountain King – related to the troll. Will kidnap females and keep them in his mountain hall. Sometimes distorts miners’ vision to keep them from exiting the mountain. Social creature; keeps his extended family and court close.

5.     Rise – related to the troll, but smaller. Usually only one head, and they’re smart. Very dangerous. Will eat you if they can get their hands on you. The sun does not harm it.

6.     Hulder – a beautiful forest woman who lures unsuspecting men to their deaths. She has a cow’s tail, and her back is hollow.

7.     Nykr (nix) – a water sprite who plays music to lure you into the water. If people resist its music, it transforms to a bright white horse to come on land, coaxes people to get on its back, and then drags them back to its pond or river and drowns them, presumably to eat them.

8.     Draug – the spirit of a man who drowned at sea, who sails on half a boat. Traditionally a death omen. Occasionally tries to drown those he comes across.

9.     Dragon – the Norwegian dragon is a venomous serpent. It is highly intelligent and loves to taunt its victims. Hoards treasures.

10. Fossegrimen (or just the grim) – a mischievous demon who will teach people to play the fiddle, if they provide him with gourmet food – usually meats, but he will accept anything as long as the quality is good. There are stories of people selling their souls to him to learn to play.

11. Werewolf – Ferocious and feral in wolf form. Has no control over its urges. The change is extremely painful, and when in human form they have no memory of what they did as a wolf.

12. Utburd – the ghost of a child who died a violent death; either abandoned by their parents in the forest, or killed. Will force you to carry it on your back, demanding you to take it to the nearest graveyard. It gets heavier with each step you take – driving you into the ground until you die of exhaustion.

13. Mare – a night creature who latch on to bad dreams and feed on fear. Will ride sleeping people, and strangle them after she’s gotten what she wants/needs.

14. Fae – mischievous and fun loving. Childlike and unaware of the consequences of their pranks.

15. Nisse – a small creature, related to the Fae. Typically lives on farms and takes care of the animals there. The farmer has to feed it with porridge and butter to keep on its good side. Should you offend it, it will let all your animals loose and leave the farm (and take your luck with it). If you’re really unlucky, it’ll set fire to your farm. Violent.

16. Helhest – “Death horse” or “Hel’s horse”. A horse spirit with three legs and glowing eyes. It vomits fire, and brings disease and death.

17. Beach walker – the size of a sheep, and mischievous by nature. Is said to bring bad weather and storms

18. Ghost cat – sometimes called a ghoul cat. The size of a large dog. It is ferocious, feral and is usually found in and around graveyards, where it feeds on corpses. It will not hesitate to attack and kill people. Apparently can only be tamed by castrating it.

19. Dark elves – small creatures who lives underground. Demands a sacrifice to stay away. Fail to give them what they want, and they will bring fevers and poison your food. They turn to stone in sunlight.

20. Brono – the ancient god of light. Neither good nor evil, but will not be disrespected.

21. Garm - A large dog with four eyes and blood covered chest. Will howl and make you insane. Can only be silenced by being fed a slice of cake by a person who has given food to the poor.

22. Mermaid – will lure people into the water with her music. Is beautiful to look at so long as her tail is hidden.

23. Merman – male version of the mermaid.

24. Hel – Hideous to look at; half greenish black, half blue or white. Her skin looks like the skin on a rotting corpse. Feeds on brains and bone marrow. Norse goddess of death. Wields the knife “Hunger”.

25. Night raven – the malevolent ghost of a person who’s committed suicide.

26. Night crow – will kidnap small children who don’t want to sleep and keep them in its nest until they’re found, or until they die.