#bam blabs

[gotchibam]

Just a heads up, I might open commissions soon since I'll need extra budget for the next month! I know I still have a backlog of ko-fi doodles I need to work on but I'll try my best to do them alongside the comms 😤💪💪💪

[tanblaque]

Hello!! Just wanted to say how much I love your OFF art ;w; Been feeling nostalgic about it lately (it's been a decade since I've played it) so I browsed thru the game's tags & saw your amazing stuff! <3

Also I checked your twt and saw that you're based in the Philippines?? Are you also pinoy? If you are then THAT'S SO COOL bc it's not so often I see fellow pinoy artists (esp. someone who's into OFF) so yeah!! *HIGH FIVES YOU*

Keep up the amazing work!!! :D

Aaaa, yes I am Filipino! Thank you so much and I'm happy you enjoy the silly stuff I made ;;7;;

[blind0raven]

I think I screwed myself over cause while trying to look up stuff on Etsy

Etsy is like "Ok I see what you mean, but really here -sliding in this one twst related merch that has Deuce included- we know you are looking for this too. Don't worry I got you"

Like... I did this to myself... pfft

[nis-si-hellhole]

i've done it i've reached the utter peak of madness: selfship phone wallpaper

[muffinrag]

worked my first 8 hour shift in two years. came home and took a 4 hour nap

[megacarapa]

i tried a diamond painting kit it was fun :3

[u3pxx]

sige na nga, aamin na ako!

drawn for day 1: confessions for klapollo week 2023

like this art? it's a print, here! | like what i do? support me on ko-fi!

hello there!!! happy klapollo week!!!! this'll be the only thing i'll draw for it bc i'm what? BUSY AND TIRED!!!

ahem, anyways, this one gave me such a struggle bc i futzed around with the colors a lot bc i didn't know what i wanted it to look like ASKSK in the end, i'll always come back home to ourple

so yea, i always pictured them confessing in their mid-30's or smth. the story/vision for this one is that klavier visits apollo and khura'in and uh-oh! some things are starting to become undeniable and it's starting to get difficult to pretend that they don't have feelings for each other! (especially on apollo's side)

so here goes klavier, about to leave and he visits apollo in his office before he heads back to japanifornia. but then- BAM! "I LIKE YOU!" huh!?!?!?! how surprising! i wonder what happens next ....

---

ok enough blabbing, i'm a bit sad that i'm not able to complete this week like i did last year bc oops! depression so afsfgdhd c'est la vie or something. y'all can still get your fill from the other amazing creators for this week, so hey! <3

[gotchibam]

Sorry for the sudden inactivity, the past weeks has been hard for me & my brother since our mom passed away last March 15. It's only us left now since our dad has been long gone since 2016. I know I still have a lot of things to catch up on but I want to ask for your patience & understanding since we're going through a lot at the moment. I will continue working on the doodles soon, I promise that, but for the meantime I'm going to leave my ko-fi open for tips / donations if anyone wants to help. All funds will be used for me & my brother's needs / expenses as I work slowly through the unfinished doodle comms that piled up while we were back in the hospital.

Thank you so much for your help & support. Without you guys I wouldn't have been able to pay for the hospital expenses & my mom's funeral. It's really hard for me & my brother right now but I find comfort in knowing there are ppl who are ready to support us even through difficult times. Thank you so much again from the bottom of my heart.

[bam-blabs]

what do you mean it’s already december

[thechaoticplayer]

academic rival Ver x reader

Author's note: BAM SLAM IMAGINE BEING AN ACADEMIC RIVAL WITH VER? NAUR... COULDNT BE ME, IM NOT THE TOP OF MY CLASS my ass would get annihilated (lmao)

Summary: me blabbing about being fucked by Ver Vermillion but in bullet points and a bit of paragraphs

Contains: nsfw, academic rivalry, might be ooc, x fem reader, dry humping, Ver using you to get himself off, extremely short sorry I'm yet again writing this at 4 am

None of my works are proofread

Ver Vermillion and you were at the top of your class, always going above the standard

And of course, you became academic rivals.

it was like a flip switched in Ver, he known to be quiet and level headed

but with you? You somehow know where to pluck his nerves

It was always a competition with Ver with tests, quizzes, unit tests, etc to see who would get higher than the other

Lately, both of you have been getting tied scores

Throwing jabs at each other under a veiled smile, you bet that you were going to get the higher score

Unfortunately... you didnt :[ he got one point higher than u

And you said you were willing to bet ANYTHING... yk...

"in a classroom? You're insane," you whisper shout at VER VERMILLION who traps you in between his arms on his desk.

"The door's locked, I'm not stupid," Ver retorts.

"People can still hear genius."

"Well..." Ver places his hand on your mouth and leans close. "You're going to have to be quiet then, right?"

You exhale hard through your nose, obviously protesting against this. You were in the middle of thinking about biting him when he lifts the skirt around your hips, his breaths tickling your ear. You can feel your heart rate spike up, a mixture of anxiety and excitement pumping in your veins.

A harsh jerk brings your hips to Ver's, and a muffled squeak rips from you. Something hard bumps your inner thigh, and you flush hard at the sight of it.

Ver hums at the look on your face, noting the swirl of anticipation and desire. "Who would've thought Miss Top Of The Class could be so naughty."

You narrow your eyes at him because this was his idea! Ver was the one who suggested this, not you! What on earth is he-

Ver grinds his clothed erection against your own clothed cunt and you stifle a moan. He does this ever so slowly, his hard cock pressing against your clit between two thin pieces of fabric. Ver spreads your legs wide for him, looming over you as he ruts against your core.

Your arousal seeps through your panties and it shows on his pants. Ver chuckles shakily, swallowing down moans himself. His eyes watch as your own flutter open and shut and you unknowingly, grinding yourself against him as well. Ver's cock is so painfully hard, and grinding against you offered some sort of relief. But it wasnt enough for him.

Ver tears your panties, causing you to squeal. His hand tightens on your jaw in warning, giving you a quick glare of warning. You glare back at him, breathing hard.

He slides his length in between your folds, groaning at the feeling of your slick coating him. "You're so wet for me. And to think you actually despised me. I guess I was wrong."

You were definitely gonna bite this guy when the head of his dick circles your sensitive bud, causing a low moan in your throat. His girth nearly slips in but never does, Ver teasing you with just the tip. It was embarrassing how soaking wet you are for your rival.

"You don't deserve my cock," Ver whispers hotly in your ear, making you shudder. "So I'll just use you until I'm done."

So that's what he does, cock sliding between your folds to get himself off, teasing your entrance, only allowing a centimeter by centimeter in you. Your hands grasp his shoulders, begging Ver to fuck you with your eyes as his length bumps against your clit for the umpteenth time. But Ver isn't listening, watching the way it seems like more and more arousal cover his cock and drip onto the desk and floors. His pace quickens as well as his breathing, his cock pulsing with the need to spill like your own.

Your eyes roll back at the feeling, pleasure shooting up your back and causing you to arch. Toes curled as Ver used you for his own selfish pleasure. His groans nearly fill the room, but he knows to keep quiet.

Hot liquid spurts out his cock, spreading all over your core as you release with a drawn out moan. Both releases mix together on your bare cunt, and Ver observes with a low laugh.

"You should see how your face looks right now. I didn't even put my cock in you and you came," Ver notes with a innocent smile. You shove his hand off your face with a scoff, chest quivering.

"You're the one who enjoyed it the most," you snap back shakily.

Ver gets close to your face. "Perhaps I did, but I didn't show it as much as you did."

Heat floods your face and gestures to your cheeks. You hop down from the desk, nearly falling but catching yourself before you do so. You stare at the ripped panties on the floor and Ver tosses a roll of napkins at you, which you catch easily.

"Clean yourself up and the desks," Ver calls as he approaches the door of the classroom. A grin on his lips. "You are the loser of this bet today. Would love to have more bets with you in the future."

A quiet click of the door and he's gone. But next week, just as predicted, there would be another bet.

[jmdbjk]

Happy Tumblr Anniversary to me

Exactly 1 year ago I started blabbing on this hellsite. A lot happened in one year...

• Oct. 2021: In the Soop 2: people were analyzing the clues Bam was throwing down to prove if Jimin and Jungkook lived together. And then we get this followed by an invitation to partake in ramen:

• Also Oct. 2021: Jimin’s birthday VLive when he made a phone call to JK (suspiciously staged?) and Jungkook immediately (less than 1 minute) zips up or down the elevator to join him briefly. 

• Nov. 2021: BTS historically wins the AMAs Artist of the Year Award and during that acceptance speech, JK had us hanging because “in 2022 we’re gonna focus on....” feeding jk some pizza…

• Also Nov. 2021: The PTD LA VMinKook VLive when Jimin and Jungkook officially name their (fake) YouTube channel “Mingoogie.”

• Dec. 2021: Jin unleashes Super Tuna on an unsuspecting world and surprised himself with an instant hit.

• Also Dec. 2021: the creation of individual Instagram accounts and we are blessed with a series of photos from Santa Monica Beach including this one... 

• Jan. 2022: The Hunger Games of Artist Made Merch began. 

• Also Jan. 2022: the world stopped for a week from Jan. 31-Feb. 5 when Jimin was admitted to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy and treatment for COVID simultaneously.

• Feb. 2022: Jimin finally is discharged from the hospital and goes home to recuperate and shares with us on Weverse that he’s watching “The Notebook” for the nth time. 

February was a particularly meager month for us as we did not get as much content as we had been. 

• March 2022: We discover Jimin’s new moon tattoo and his “Youth” tattoo behind his ear and we collectively freak out. And JK seems to have covered some of his tattoos…and we start seeing more nipples... the normalizing of naked Bangtan has begun...

• Also March 2022: Jimin blesses us with the “air ass slap” video. 

• April 2022 (the month that kept on giving): Jimin April Fools us by changing the Twitter handle of the BTS official account to Jimin Park and every post appears like this:

Also April 2022: The Grammy Awards... and Rolling Stone inadvertently reveal they are Jikookers:

Also April 2022: PTD Las Vegas...

May 2022: The Perilla Leaf Debate raged on... and proved they can’t be a couple because those darn leaves get stuck together. Ok whatever you say...

Also in May 2022: BTS is invited by the White House and President Biden to speak during our National Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. And they did amazing...(this photo is surreal)...(and we see you Jimin and JK)...

Also May 2022: Jikook just Jikooking in Washington DC at Dave and Busters? (courtesy of @uarmyhope). 

June 2022: The bombshell heard ‘round the world. BTS going on hiatus/not a hiatus, BTS embarks on Chapter 2... and oh look, Namjoon already said they would perform Run BTS (actually practically spoiled that choreography was being created for it) and right before this he sort of said old songs like Mic Drop and Fake Love might be popular with fans but they are ready to move on from them... go watch it again. Calm down people. 

July 2022: Hobi killed it with Jack in the Box and Hobipalooza.

Also in July 2022: They are THAT couple at a party...

Aug. 2022: VampKoo drops and Armys (who were in the midst of some sort of Werewolf fantasy) were in shambles...

Sept. 2022: Jungkook’s birthday WeLive (with his lil hairclips) and Jin’s interrogation of who came to wish JK happy birthday in person...

Also in Sept. 2022: All we needed was a leather-gloved hand to cause a massive orgasm within the fandom...

Oct. 2022: Jimin’s birthday... the thirst trap birthday wish/invitation/horn-fest...

And here we are, full circle. So much more happened other than what I mentioned here! But I hope everyone can see what has remained consistent: Jimin and Jungkook being together. Now we are waiting for the big event of the year, Yet to Come in Busan. We’ve seen the sneak peeks of them rehearsing and we know Jimin and Jungkook are STILL happily being in each other’s space. 

Also, the constant downplaying of what they are and have. So. much. energy. wasted. on that. Just accept it my friends. It is what it is. 

And these words I’ve seen more times in the last year than in my entire lifetime before BTS: hypocrisy and heteronormativity. And the big “H” word... homophobia. Attitudes and views that are sadly still prevalent. I will admit, I have LEARNED A LOT being here. If only everyone else were capable of opening their minds to ideas that might be different than what they think they know.

On a much brighter note, I’ve encountered many of you who follow my crazy ramblings and you have enlightened me, made me feel like I belong here, bring me joy and make me smile every day. I will keep saying it, I love you all. We are in this Bangtan shit together and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Looking forward to what’s to come. 

[blind0raven]

Yeah yeah Lilia is dropping out

ANYWAY MICKEY!!!! YEAH FINALLY THE OTHERS LEARN!!!

Maybe cause you're a cat

BAM! MICKEY PHOTO!!!

Personally that's his best side I think!

He a mouse Ace! It's obvious! /jk

And yes Deuce, Mickey is very friendly when he isn't being a mischeviously little gremlin

Haha oh Epel...

Ortho don't you dare try getting Mickey to study him!!!

... resisting the disney fan inside me to just blab and blab about Mickey

FUCK

WHY YOU LIMIT WHICH ONE I CAN SAY!??!?!

[hobisstar]

Toxic Attraction | Yandere!Jeon Jungkook x F!Reader

Summary: Jungkook doesn’t know when his love for her grew, he doesn’t recall ever not being in love with either. To him since the day she moved in to the house next to him, she has always been his. He do anything for her. Even kill for her if needed. Of course she wouldn’t over step him to get to that leave…right?

A/N: ahhh! I’m back with something different loves! I haven’t done ANYTHING for BTS yet and since I’m getting back into them, Why not start off with some Yandere?

Tips: Y/N is Your Name, E/C is Eye Color, H/C is hair color, and H/T is hair texture!

Warning: the mention of smut, nonexistent lover, violence, mention of death, manipulation, toxic Jungkook, emotional blackmail, and angst.

I DID NOT PROOFREAD

What if they would have never met? Would his sick obsession still be there? Would the urge to just lock her away and pocket the key for safe keeping still be there? Jungkook wonders if he’s just way too in love or if he’s over thinking it. For some years now Y/N has been his ideal type. She was his neighbor . He always thought it was strange having such a goddess as a neighbor, but after getting to know Y/N, He fell in love very quickly by just looking at her E/C eyes, H/C H/T hair that would blow in the wind, her smile that would light up his room. The way he would feel himself throbbing when he saw her.

Oh, the dirty thoughts he had in his mind from her. He would imagine coming over one day for just dinner or anything and soon he would have his cock buried deep in her what he imagined to be, warm, welcoming, and dripping cunt. Everything about her made him this way. Her thick curvy figure that he would just die to get his hands on.

Of course with love there is always a down fall right? Miss Y/N, has disobeyed jungkook and got herself a little boyfriend. He wasn’t as great as himself though, he was bitch in Jungkooks eyes.

One time there was a dog chasing Y/N, oh was it scary. His poor y/n is scared of dogs. But any ways, she was being chased by a dog, and her she was screaming for her boyfriend to scare it away. Turns out he was more scared of it than her since he locked her outside with the dog. Jungkook just so happened to be outside that day though and he scared the dog away. Saving the day and becoming his babies hero.

“Are you alright? Did you get hurt? Are you hurt anywhere? Gosh Y/N you need to be more careful!” He blabbed on and on. Only thing y/n could do was hug him. She was frightened and she had been running a block trying to get that dog off her tail. Finally Jungkook saved her.

“T-Thank you…I owe you everything..” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“So you are telling me you haven’t even confessed? Don’t you guys get dinner and all that great stuff?” Namjoon, Jungkooks friend, asked highly confused. I mean he knew his for Y/N wasn’t healthy. Though there is not much he could do when he tried to tell him plenty of times that obviously she wasn’t feeling him like he was feeling her. When he told him that, Jungkook didn’t take that lightly. Let’s just say Namjoon had to go to the hospital to get stitches on his face.

“No i havent but i plan on doing it tonight! I want her to meet Bam and then I’ll confess to her Joon.” He smiled imagining just how great this could go and will go. To be honest he order almost everything he knew she liked. While in dream land he heard his door bell go off . “ that’s her! Namjoon- hyung, I’ll call you later! Bye!” He said hanging up without even waiting for a answer. He rushed to the door and opened it for Y/N.

She looked like a goddess as usual. Gosh, the way he wanted to take her right then and there was so hard right now.

“Hi Kook! I brought you some snacks!l she smiled brightly and held them out. Jungkook hurriedly took them from her gently, fearing it was too heavy on her hands. “Oh, Y/N, Noona you didn’t have to!” I forgot to mention, she’s a month older than jungkook. It doesn’t matter though I mean she told him he doesn’t need to call her Noona, but he insisted that he does. “Come in come in! I don’t want you getting sick from this harsh heat.”

She walked in and looked around. If you were her you’d be surprised how his set up it’s almost identical to her home, just in the color black.

“Ah, Bam is in his cage sleeping so make yourself at home while i bring the plates..” he stated putting the basket on the center table in the living room. He hoped he could feed her those delicious chocolate covered strawberries later. She nodded and smiled getting comfortable and taking off her shoes and sitting on the couch. “This living room and kitchen is… literally like mine. Same furniture, same center pieces, same art on the wall, maybe I inspired him?” She thought to herself silently. She remembered him saying he really loved her home when he visited it the first few times he came by but, she didn’t think he loved it enough to do copy and paste. It was almost like plagiarism.

Jungkook came back with plates and placed them down on the table. It was medium rare stake with a side of Mashed potato’s with optional greens on the side. He smiled and went back to get the drinks which was sparking wine since he really wanted the both of them to stay sober, he wanted them both to remember the day they started to be a official couple, I mean to him they already were but this was a bigger step. He sat the cups down and then sat on the floor in front of her smiling. “Please eat first I want to make sure you like it.” He stated waiting for her to dig in.

She cut the stake and ate a piece and nodded savoring the taste of the delicious meat on the plate. “It is wonderful, J!” She assured and started to eat but only she did. He watched her eat, like he would everyday in the hidden cameras he installed in her house a few months ago. Those cameras lets him see his baby everyday. He was so creepily in love.

“Let’s make it official.” He blurted out after watching her eat. He wanted to see her reaction but it’s not what he expected. She coughed and drink some of Sparking wine to wash down her food.

“W-What? J, that was random.” She said looking at him confused and a little shocked.

“I want to make it official. I like you and you obviously like me-“

“Wait, J, i don’t like you in that way, I mean I have a boyfriend.” She cut him off and looked away.

“Break up with him, I can teach you to love me.” He said getting up and sitting next to her on the couch.

“Jungkook, No. I- I plan on marrying Taehyung. He already proposed to me and-“

“I didn’t approve of it so it doesn’t count.”He looked at her, he felt himself getting heated. “Excuse me? Jungkook I don’t know where this attitude is coming from but I don’t like it and you shouldn’t be even giving it to me.” She said also getting a little angry at him. Who was he to say the proposal doesn’t count?

“ Y/N I don’t think you understand, Noona. I’m in telling you big news here. I’m giving you a better chance than whatever his name is. You want to get married Noona? Okay I’m fine with at we can do it next month and have the wedding then. You want kids? I’m willing to give you all of me. You don’t want kids? Bam can be our baby boy. Don’t you see this world is already set up for you? All you have to do is finally join it…” Jungkook was staring at her feeling his eyes water… “ All you half to do is say ye-“

“No! Jungkook no! I’m not doing any of that with you! I’m already happy with who I’m with! The life I’m in. The life I have. Me and you are just friends J! Neighbors! Remember? There is no connection between us like that..” She went quiet and so did Jungkook but he was only quiet because he was angry.

How dare she disobey him like that? How dare she not just go with the flow and say yes like a good girl? How dare she lie to his face? He chuckled and just bust out laughing completely.

“You…you really have no idea…” he smiled at her and it soon faded. “ You aren’t so smart my baby. Let me break this down for you, All you have is me. You wouldn’t be alive it it wasn’t for me!” He grabbed her arm tightly. “ you would have a fat scare on that beautiful leg of yours from a dog bite if i hadn’t scared him away… And you…you dare disobey me? After I saved you? You said it yourself… you owe me everything.. it’s time for your to give everything.” He said standing up and letting her arm go. He started to pace the room.

“ Gosh i tried to hide this side from you but you just don’t know how to be a good girl. There is no other life than this one. Taehyung is dead. I killed him. I was close to killing that animal that tried hurting you but I refrain from it. Your mother dying from a car accident was just some weird Karma? no, I killed her! Can you see I got rid of all the bad people In your life to protect you?! Why can’t you see that, Noona!” He yelled and flipped the table, it breaking as soon as it had contact with the wooden floor. He grabbed the knife and held it to his neck.

“ Why are you making me do this?… Why!” He said looking at her with huge eyes while she returned them. She couldn’t even register what he admitted to her about killing her mother and Taehyung. “J, please! Put the knife down…”

“Noona, if I put it down will you love me? Will you leave everyone and come live with me and Bam? Hmm? Will you complete the family like it’s supposed to be? Will you?” He glared at her and put it deeper to his neck.

“Yes! I will! I’ll be your girlfriend! I’ll be Bams mother just please put the knife down Kook!” She yelled and got on her knees not caring if the broken class was cutting at her hands and legs. When Jungkook saw that he threw the knife and down and quickly picked her up so she was out the glass. He said nothing as he took her to the kitchen, sat her on the island, and went to go get the first aid kit. While he was gone she started to bawl and sob. Her family, whom might have done something mean to her once was gone, she could’ve easily forgiven them simply. She had the Brust of thought that she should’ve had a long time ago. Leave. NOW.

She grabbed and knife and held it in her hands and heard Jungkook coming back whistling softly. She got off the island and turned around with the knife. Pointing it at him. He froze at first but scoffed and chuckled. “ Noona, put the knife down. You’ll hurt yourself.” He said calmly but creepily.

“Eat shit and die, Jungkook.” She said with tears in her eyes. She stepped back when he got closer. “Me? Die? Oh no baby I just tried that and you told me to put the knife down. Now I’m not asking you I’m telling you, put the knife down. Now.” He said and reached grabbing the knife from her by the blade. He yanked it from her grip and put it down in the sink. He was calm and she doesn’t know how he can be so calm. He killed people! And he’s calm?!

“Noona, my love, it’s best you get used to it and stop crying hm? They were trash people and I did what anyone would do and take out the trash.” He said picking her up and putting her back on the island. “After I clean you up you can get some rest, I’ll need to lock you up for awhile while I go take the cameras down from your house.” He said taking the glass out her hands. Y/N never froze so quickly in a middle of crying. “C-Cameras? What? You were stalking me?” She said ready to take her hand back.

Jungkook held her hand with a tight grip, keeping it in place. “ stalking? No I’d say more of being your Guardian Husband. I saw everything love. I saw when Taehyung proposed to you. I hate that day the most. I saw how happy your mom was and that sickened me. I mean there had to be a reason how I got ever single furniture the same as yours when I never asked you which company or brand you got it from. The bed room looks the same as yours. So does the bathroom. You’ll be just like at home.” He got done cleaning her wounds then sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear. “ If you would’ve just loved me sooner you wouldn’t have lost both your mother and Taehyung. Maybe just one. But not both. I’ve wait patiently and you choose to ignore it for 2 years ,Noona. It’s not my fault. That’s just how my Toxic Attraction for you is. I’ll do anything for you. Anything.”

[silliemop]

guysu what if yk like idkkkk just blabbing random idea

y/n just found gregory off the street right? i’m guessing not officially adopt yk cuz y/n doesn’t have best life yk with money and all that stuff so yeah

so what if y/n gets so beat up one day and so needs to go to hospital and gregory is there and like ohhh nooo wiwiwi :((

and then doctor is like “hey kid who are u?? is this ur guardian?” and he’d be like “uhhh yeah”

then idkk checks and doctors and police are like “waittt u don’t have home??!? okay let’s take u away”

and then while y/n on hospital bed they can’t do anything but watch gregory be taken away and sun/moon isn’t there cuz yk?? fighting bot???!!! and so the whole time, they’re waiting in the back of the truck and worried sick with no update about y/n but they see gregory being taken.

ohkgmg just got new ideaaaa let’s really mess this story up

sun/moon stomp towards the police and are like “HEYY unhand the child!!” and police are like “what the heck?? living robot??!!!” and sun/moon shove them and try to reach for gregory but idk police gets something to paralyze them or something or hold them back. temporarily destroy so they can’t move? and sun/moon get carried away. gregory gets carried away to be put in a foster home. anddd y/n is just laying in hospital bed unable to do anything.

bam. both important people in ur life just got taken away. how do u feel y/n?

sun/moon get scrapped. gregory gets adopted by a family and y/n never sees him again. and just imagine y/n finally gets out of the hospital and just stands at the doors like …? where’d everyone go..? :(

KSBSJ THIS IS TOO MUCH IM KIDDING IM KIDDINGGJDSBJ NONE OF THIS WILL BE CANON IN THE AU AAHAHAHSSHSH

or will it?

[rock-a-noodle]

What the shit Mulan is 25 years old

But yeah, let me blab about my favorite Disney movie because why not

So yeah, I first saw Mulan on VHS as a kid (I couldn't do movie theaters as a child as I was very antsy). It did not click with me as much as it did later on, but as kid I thought when they were singing "Honor To Us All" they were singing ''Winston Applejuicy.' We got the McDonald's toys of the Yao top, and I asked my dad why he was so mad and he was like "he just looks cranky." I had the storybook on tape when I was little but we ended up getting rid of it. OFC my 12 year old self was pissed over that. We had a koosh ball of Mushu that we still have.

Flash forward to 2006 and I watched the movie on Disney Channel at age eleven. OFC going through my "EVERYTHING IS SEXIST" phase I didn't like how the guys treated Ping/Mulan (granted I was right but digression aside...) and wrote the movie off admittedly. Later on Chinese New Year the year after, I watched both Mulan movies in one setting....and BAM! Fell in love. Helped that I was at an age where I could grasp the plot better and get into it. I loved the music of both movies, Ling Yao and Chien Po falling in love with the princesses and the antics that ensued (even tho the sequel was clunkily written), Mulan starting out as an awkward dork but then becoming the savior of China resonated with me, as I was an outcast and a bit of a screw-up. Mulan gave me a heroine to look up to and helped me to overcome my daily challenges be it school and low self-esteem.

I also fell head over heels with Ling. One of my ultimate comfort characters and fictional crushes, and my basis for the type of men I go for. He got me through so many hard times as I would imagine him comforting me on bad days. I was so thrilled when I got the toys of him Yao and Chien Po for Christmas in 2007. He also admittedly helped during a time where I was at my lowest.

The older I got, I learned about the queer following this movie got, and Shang being one of the first bicoded characters in cinema. Learning this, I thought "Of COURSE this movie was meant to be my favorite! And not just because I like action and Chinese culture!"

While my interest in the movie has waxed and waned over the years I will forever be grateful for the impact it's had on me growing up.

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."

[themisdistrict]

A GIRL

There is something in her closet. The banging is forever loud. The closet pulses as the creatures’ fists collide with the wood. The echo is of each ‘bam’ every present in her mind, beckoning her to open the closet and expose the horror that it  holds. For a moment, she considers it. For it would mean every present silence and solitude, but also shifting a balance that had been established since before her time. She walks closer and wails, the creature seems to quiet, as if it senses her approaching. The quiet scares the girl and she flees, reaching for the remote. To cover the noise with the blabbing of the new anchor.

The creature wails, belting out the most furious of cries, ones that can't be covered with noise. BANG. BANG. BANG. The creature longs to be let out and with each octave the screams hit, the girl increases the volume. The creature won't be silenced for another episode. A single tear streams down her cheek, as the noise floods her mind. The creature has pushed her to her breaking point. The girl arises from the couch, shuts off the television, and storms over to the closet. The feeling of peace that will be obtained outweighs every bad that is to exist because of the creature being released. 

She rips open the closet doors, peace fluttering into the room as the cries cease. There she views the contents of the closet. In the great glory of the closet lies a locked box of dreams. A box filled with what if’s and what could have been. In the box is the overwhelming truth that happiness has never existed within her.

Where is the creature if not in her?