#barely read hit post
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jimmyscanongf · 2 years ago
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labor of love
norman bates (psycho 1960) taxidermies you (romantic) (gender neutral)
or, the strange mentally ill erotic fantasy of someone cutting me open and just getting all up in my guts (Nicely,) has surfaced from the old deep deep deep dark days of my life and now has a place ig?
cw death and detailed gore; cw fucked up content in general but if you saw this title and are still reading further you already know whats up, you sicko ;) this is unedited word vomit style typed directly into the tumblr post editor, bcs it was very very slow today and this was better than ruminating myself into an actual mental breakdown at freaking work so this is for the absolute freaks and please dont come for my ass if anything in the getting taxidermied by norman bates fanfiction isnt accurate
in thinking about the potential endings for an extended norman and reader romance... i think it would be such an extraordinarily delicate balance to manage a relationship and try to help him while avoiding the shitshow of human rights violations that was psychiatric care in the 1960s. and maybe you could manage it but if you couldn't......... perhaps he was hiding the true extent of his illness, even well into your relationship, even after getting married. some act of repression, of course he didn't want to scare you away and he was so certain he would, and nobody had ever loved him like you did and nobody ever would again. but ya just can't bottle it up like that without building and building the pressure... and to have a relationship, to have sex with you and marry you and try to be happy WITHOUT HER, oh what a grievous transgression to the ignored Norma, cast away to the far recesses of his awareness, he's managed to hold onto control for this long but the situation will simply not do, and she'll just have to eliminate the disgusting little bitch who stole her son away from her, take the reins back in a moment of weakness, of fracture -
and norman wakes up in a place he doesn't remember, in clothes he doesn't remember, but he remembers the fight and the fevered pitch of your voice, the wide-eyed fear in your face, his mixed up train of thought derailing, crashing, and the sound of his mother screaming in his ears. not a hint of a thought of what happened enters his mind as he retraces the trail of blood through the house, empty and automatic and despairing but still not connecting the ideas together until he actually finds the mangled heap of your body slumped on the floor, with the sick metallic smell of clotting blood, a dizzying lake of deep red bigger than he'd ever seen before surrounding you.... it's so shattering that he is disconnected even from the impulse to vomit, though he drops to his knees and screams and screams and screams...... and his mother is nowhere around to help him, and you're gone gone gone, forever! forever! but no! he hears your voice in his ear, soft though it startled him: "no, you can still save me, don't you remember? you've done it already before, norman, save me, save me before it's too late...!"
you're still even warm by the time he brings you down to the basement, cradling you in his arms and staining the clean clothes mother had gone out of her way to dress him in, still limp dead weight, he puts you on the table where he does his taxidermy and kisses your lips with blood on your mouth, pets your hair, coos a billion apologies. "oh my love, i should have never ever let this happen! i promised myself i would never let this happen to you that i would never let her hurt you im sorry im sorry im sorry i tried i tried!!" screwing his eyes shut at your body in front of him, crying tears that dripped onto your skin. and you shush him, your voice comes like a bell calling him in the darkness "i love you norman, i forgive you, but you must work fast now, you have to work fast to revive me!" he opens his eyes, far gone, nods fervently into your lifeless face, knowing that this would be very hard, and very easy, in that he had done it dozens of times before but not on this scale and not this fresh. he strokes the soft skin of your cheek, flits over to bring his tool kit near and then strips your body bare to begin his work - but he already has to stop, go up to the linen closet to bring towels and a bucket of water to clean the blood and gore off your skin, revealing in detail every grisly angry slash, stab, loose flap of skin that should still be all connected, should be, norman cries, with only an extremely dim awareness that it was his own hands that wrought this upon you. but he would fix it, he would suture your lovely flesh back together last, after the bulk of the work was done.
it takes significant effort to cut you with the same blade that he had cut birds and other small creatures with but he made it through all the layers of skin and fat and muscle, cut flaps to splay your belly open for easy access. and the inside of your body. explodes with colour and detail that he had never seen on this scale before. your insides were all shining red, and translucent membranous pink, with lipid yellows, greenish and brownish hues, pearlescent white fascia and winding lines of purple-blue connecting everything. and then he trembles all over seeing it his hands shaking violently, already slick with blood, as they approach the opening, and you comfort him, sweetly in his ear, "calm now, my love, i'm in good hands, i know i am, but you need to stop shaking, you need to be gentle." "i know, im just scared. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry..." "i trust you, norman." he steeled his nerves and then slips his hands oh so, so gingerly into the wet, the slick and smooth mess, the winding intestines, cold on the surface from contact with the air but still warm underneath, and he only loves you more and more and more that you trust him like this, that you let him do this to you, putting your faith in him to revive you.
he was struck by the intimacy of it, he was so close, closer than anyone else in the world had been to you, even closer than sex, up to his forearms in your body cavity, with all the beautiful unseen parts that had sustained your living body for so long, all those years........ you would have to learn a new kind of life now, with him. he scoops the intestines, they spill over the sides onto the table, attached at either end, and he realized he would have no place to actually put any of this once he removed it, he took the bucket with red translucent water and tipped it over into the floor drain. then, bringing it near, cuts your entire digestive tract free, placing it gently in the bucket. looking down at the heap inside, he feels a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and reached up to wipe it with the bloodied back of his arm. then, the pancreas, the kidneys and bladder, the liver (some cultures thought the liver was the seat of human love, he thinks), everything is so connected, tubes and gossamer-thin tissues that he has to dissect to separate the parts out. he has to reach underneath your ribcage to cut your lungs free, they sink in and deflate more as he works, and puts them too on top of the rest of your organs. then, last, your heart - he hesitates, and trembles, feeling the imperative to be especially delicate now, as if the muscle might disintegrate under his touch. but he feels around, remembering the anatomy diagram of the heart he'd learned so many many years ago, cuts free the three arteries connected to the aorta, the pulmonary vessels, both venae cavae, and suddenly he is holding the fist-sized organ free in his hand. he set his knife to the side and then reached in again, cradling the muscle in both of his broad palms as he brought it out into the light, letting out a shuddering breath - your heart! oh it was your actual heart, the heart that loved him, the heart that once beat in your chest, that he listened to countless nights to soothe himself, pressing his ear to your sternum. he sees the fatal gash the knife made, he turns his head and leans his ear in, though he knows it's silent anyways he almost starts to sob, "keep it," you say, and he startles "keep it, my love, it's yours, it was always yours" and he looks up into the ceiling "really? are you certain?" forgetting the anguish, and he feels your confirmation, your permission, as the warmth of your love. then, looks down at the deep red knot of muscle, presses a tender kiss there, and holds it to his chest, mirroring his own living heart. with reverence, he sets it on the table in his view and continues on -
it's best practice to remove the bulk of the skeletal muscle, too, and so he opens the skin on the arms that held him close, the legs and thighs that he'd had bliss between, and frees the long corded masses - the ones in the limbs come out of the body clean and compartmentalized, attached to the bone really only by two tendons on either end, separating easily from each other. this was by chance one of the largest buckets he had in the house but now it was full top with all your externalized insides, and the slippery smooth remainder of your muscles went to the floor - it was only a short distance to the furnace anyways, and all of this would have to go to the furnace, into the fire, you wouldn't be needing them anymore, and everything would have to be clean, clean, clean after. and now your body was ready for treating with the chemicals - there might not be enough, but it would have to do - and the sawdust which only seemed to come in large quantities, and it's easy, easy, art to craft the contours of your body that he learned, he knows from memory. he closes with care the long incisions he had made, making the flesh edges meet neatly all down the length of your limbs, up the i-shape he made on your abdomen and then, the awful wounds, slashes and gashes all over he sutures at last with a lingering feeling of sorrow, that dissipates when, finally cutting the last thread, he sees the miracle of life bloom forth on your face out from the monochrome of death "norman!" you smiled, with recognition in your eyes from where your head was limply rolled to the side
he smiled back at you, euphoria like a thrill of electricity tingling through his body as he reached out to cup your face - of course the fact he didn't have a sufficient amount of preservatives and anything didn't matter because it had little to do with the process of reviving anyways. it was all in the effort itself, in the way he marked his own soul in order to remake you and have you forever, it was in that labor of love where the actual transformation was made. he stroked his thumbs on your cheekbones, leaning over you and sobbing out "yes, yes, yes, yes, it's me, i'm here!!"
"you did it, i knew you could, i knew you would save me, norman."
"i could do anything for you, i would do anything for you!"
"i'm so cold now down here in the basement, i feel so weak and exhausted after everything... would you please help me get dressed?"
your bloody clothes were all heaped on the floor and he sniffled, blinking the tears from his eyes. "oh, those are all completely ruined..... I'm sorry... I'll take you up to the bedroom now, okay? and we'll get you into pajamas, and then you can just sleep for however long you need." and you would need the sleep - it was a strange and difficult new life to adjust to, being so dependent on him now for so many things, and you would never be able to leave the house anymore, which would likely be as hard for you as it was at first for his mother. but might get easier for you faster, he thought, as you had both found many more interesting things to do inside than he and his mother ever had in nearly thirty years until you came along. he kisses you on the forehead, and gently lets your head down, before he shifts his arms underneath you and scoops you up in a bridal carry, the whole weight of you in his arms as he carries you up the stairs to the main floor, then turned, climbing up and up again
"i was so scared when she killed me, Norman." Your voice makes his lip tremble as he looks down into your eyes, "but I know i'm safe now with you."
"Yes, you're safe here with me... You'll be safe here with me forever..."
He can feel the vibration of love coming off you, that keen resonation, it was always always there though he never managed to put it to its name, his heart absolutely swells with the sensation, love, pure ecstatic love! you were his one love and the most precious thing he had ever encountered in his life and now he could keep you safe from everything, forever, with him! oh, it didn't work out as nice for you as if it has never happened in the first place, but he could feel a new tension and energy, a precipice on which he was looking out at a new and encompassing depth of your bond, of your relationship, and he only had to dive in with you. he was almost even excited to start this new and beautiful era of your life together.
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bunnyboy-juice · 5 months ago
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does me being a scientist make my sluttyness on here hotter?
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celestialrealms · 2 years ago
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barbatos letting himself be loved and cared for. barbatos letting himself be loved and cared for!!!
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violetregrets1837 · 5 months ago
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Guys I'm not even like
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Or
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Or
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I'm more like
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And its not fun :/
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stillthesunkenstars · 6 months ago
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talked to my conniving counsel and decided to not delete this blog for the time being but just stave off posting any further fanarts before I'm comfortable enough.
since the main thing that makes me want to delete is that looking into the tag triggers my ptsd that nobody gives a shit about my art, and the main thing against deletion is that I want to keep this so future ppl interested in bs can find my blog and at least not starve with the lack of fanarts, and that I need an account to talk to ppl about the bs books that i like
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dinkyshrinks · 2 months ago
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your original posts are like Kafka diary entires
This means everything to me there are so many possible interpretations
1. I am being praised
2. I am being insulted
3. Kafka is being insulted?
The most important part is. I haven't read Kafka and I'm just really happy you thought of me. Also this reminds me that I like reading and should do it
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venomgender · 8 months ago
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required reading .
#quite genuinely The Best dungeon genre nov i have ever read. it perfectly combines over used tropes with unique twists in a way thats#sp refreshing...#like. man. wow. wow!#this story Does Not go the wau you think it will go! in a good way!#AND its also a yaoi. and i really enjoy how the romance between the two is written as well....#i just finished part one (the first like 140 chapters) and any tangible bits of romance didnt start until like. ch100#which i enjoy.... because it wouldnt make sense otherwise#its truly like 'story that happens to feature gay men' which is awesomeeeww#i found it because the fiest six (6) chapters of the manhwa were put on bato#and i was like ohhhh this seems fun ^_^ and now like 3 days later i want to explode (positive)#goddddd like its jist so good. even ignoring the entire plot the authors writing is just so amazing... lot everythibg ive ever wanted#was telling my friends this but they write scenes in ways i write scenes#which is to say the way i wish everyone wrote scenes#ahhhhhh its just sososo good....#things barely introduced in ch1 and basically forgotten becoming plot relavent 140 chapters later is always like a hit or miss#in execution#but the way this incorporates the stuff like this is done so well...#like truly this author is like a master in writing and weaving narratives there were so many times where i strongly reacted#to the information that was just revealed because it made me connect the dots to things said a million uears ago that i forgot about#only for the mc to havw the exaxt same reaction#and there were so many times where a like emotionallh hardowing scene woulf happen and i would have the exact same response as the mc#even if i hadnt even read his response yet#man..... man....#its just. so good#yaoi posting
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reading-writing-dying · 9 months ago
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Been slowly working my way through the Hotguy Comic Zine in my very limited spare time today and finally got to the end of part two and CAN NOT stop thinking about how the identity reveal went down
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dewgongs · 2 months ago
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going through and cleaning out my spacehey a little bit and i forgot about diary entries i made like 2 years ago about how hopeless and upset i felt about my last relationship's struggles and described my ex's issues and behavior as "catastrophic and neverending"... yeah sounds about right
#.txt#sorry that u had to go through alla that past me. genuinely#so many other posts about how annoying my ex friend group was too 😭😭well#also the words “this almost always happens out of nowhere” 😭😭 in regards to his bullshit they put me through#he just wanted more and more and more and more from me like it was never enough and it made me so confused#wed spend so much of the day together and then when i would want a break or want to do something else#maybe on my own or literally whatever else it was like a ticking timebomb before shit hit the fan with him again#so no wonder i was always miserable always anxious and could never feel comfortable or like im really having fun#GOD i hate that motherfucker so goddamn much such a waste of my fucking time and energy and love#fucking dick#it felt like i was always being watched in some ways. and then hed claim that i never spent any time with him#when .. when i did. and it just felt so insane like it lowk felt like he was gaslighting me or something idrk like i was just#so confused all of the time because im like where is this coming from... we just did a whole lot together ?? and why do we always#have to be doing something#just makes no gd sense and i have a feeling that was on purpose. dude is not right in the head#“exhausting” is another word id also use in those diary entries and looking back on it that played such a major role#in my happiness w him basically plummeting#and not feeling like i had any more energy for him or barely anything fucking else at the time. because he exhausted me#actual energy sink. actual energy SIPHON. i actually genuinely pray for anyone else that gets stuck with them#good fukin luck omfg#and i do hope all of them stalk and i do hope all of them read my shit on here because im not taking it down. because#if u read all of my shit and what i went through and everything and u still choose to find me irredeemable then idk what else to say#corrupted ass people comma if so
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deeva-arud · 1 year ago
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Boo!
I'm the paranormal activity on your dash :]
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dankovskaya · 5 months ago
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Of course they r different genres of story centered around very different characters and relationships and situations etc but i think also that just makes it funnier
#also i think what makes tws more effective (aside from there just being like. more intentional effort put into setting it up. like from#the first issue of cap vol. 5 its very clear that the point of it is to build up the circumstances necessary to reintroduce this character#into the narrative and then eventually push him center stage.)#is that its wayyyyyyyy less of a leap in logic for Bucky's character than it was for Jason. bc i mean. ofc there was the propaganda after#the fact trying to retcon jason into the angry and reckless robin. but even taking that into account#almost everything abt the red hood is an inversion of what jason was. and that is intentional and part of the drama of the story. but it#also takesmore effort to reconcile which is why we still have to make 3000000 posts analyzing and theorizing his character#Meanwhile for Bucky its like#he wasdoing winter soldier shit as a teenager during the war#died#continued obviously doing winter soldier shit as the winter soldier#got his memories back + shit#and then ran off to continue doingwinter soldier shit of his own volition against the appropriate targets#Like the conflict comes from thefact that he had no free will and thus was forced to kill indiscriminately according to his mission.#he doesnt seem to actually have much of a problem with anything he was made to do in a vacuum. which is why he keeps doing it#(im sure there was some uniquely vile shit at some pt i just havent read anything where he talks abt it yet LMAO)#and then he becomes captain america with a gun#and now as far as im aware. continues to be winter soldier. hes been doing this shit since hewas like 16 like 90 fucking years ago what els#is he supposed to do. And during all of this his personality remains roughly the same.#whereas Jason still being red hood in the very stagnant way that he has been for most of his career with no writer able to settleon what#his individual issues and problems (and fucking motivations) should be. is just goofy at this point. there was a sharp character split#established by his comeback followed by prolonged and insane deterioration of concept#also steve is not his fucking dad. steve is barely part of the equation. i mean its still gradually revealed to torment him like jason#tormented bruce but bucky had nothing to do with that nor does he have any qualms abt anything steve did#before or after he died Lmfao#ALSO just the in universe explanation for why the character is alive and were the fuck they have been is like 100% more grounded#and intelligible for bucky than jason opdif8ysg8ehspogp it actually makes me cry#UHHHHH superboy primePUNCHED THE TIMELINE so jason woke up and then clawed himself out of his coffin and then walkd around until he got hit#by a car ad ten eh wasin a coma and then the al ghulskjsfksd mjfisoeio9u0se09430[5-43[64] ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#judd winnick fighting for his life to explain that shit for no reason
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bmpmp3 · 10 months ago
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my inability to play mobile games nowadays is also a source of suffering as a person who loves rhythm games. i miss her (SIF1).....
#but 1) she is shut down <3 and 2) even if she was still up i probably would barely play because the game was getting.... messy#i loved the old UI but they kept like. adding shit. too many little red exclamation marks#but it was one of the comfiest feeling rhythm game mechanics i ever played#i need to find a rhythm game that really feels good is my problem. high key i actually do not like most of the project diva style gameplay#TOO MANY button inputs that are hard to read im too learning disabled for that#i did love project mirai tho. and i liked project diva X because the progression was less skill focused and more perseverance#i really dont like post ps4 pd i do NOT like those multi button inputs where you have to do like#r1 + square + circle + whatever and it like changes every time. girl i cant READ#i much prefer rhythm games where the inputs are simple and dont require as much thinking or reading#and its more focused on just how good can u hit those simple inputs#i really loved beat saber when i played it at a vr arcade once. but i do not have the space or money for vr rn LOL#i also have really enjoyed taiko. someday i'd like to try a peripheral. one time i played it on the dk bongo gamecube controller#to see what it felt like. it felt bad <3 but it was fun <3 <3 <3 <3#osu i havent really liked. although i do enjoy elite beat agents and oeundan. i think its the physically small screen of the ds#sometimes its fun to boot up melodys escape or audiosurf too. but id really like to try other games#when i did play mobage i was partial to stuff like sb69's three track system and llsif's 9 spot system#but i didnt like the way deemo felt.... the size of the visual hit boxes were TOO SMALL it always felt weird#flick notes sucked whenever i played a mobage tho. i have SWEATY FINGERS dont to this me#swipe notes are fine its just flick. also i dont like how hard they are to read similar to a lot of console games <3
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akihikosanada · 11 months ago
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funny how when it comes to the original trilogy you hear shit about all the cases no matter if they are universally liked or disliked meanwhile my apollo justice trilogy knowledge is 90% characters and storylines introduced in the first game + emo prosecutor + new girl athena + shitty plot twist + apollo having 100 different backstories
obviously by funny i mean tragic they never followed up on anything that happens in aa4 AND they began using 3d art instead of keeping the 2d sprites. biggest tragedy in all of this
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dreamerlynx · 2 years ago
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did Not realize how badly I’d spiraled and made myself feel like I’d ruined this class and just needed to accept I’d fail and wouldn’t graduate this semester until I went to the meeting I arranged to talk to the teacher abt if I had any chance of passing still and she like. outlined a different thing I should do for the final project which already feels more approachable n manageable And suggested I try to talk to the dean abt getting a medical extension. and like I left feeling actually hopeful. like Oh I can actually do this and she wants to help me do this.
it’s not just dream ppl r good and lovely 💚 /joke
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izzy-b-hands · 10 months ago
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Didn't think the 1989 version of The Woman In Black would be scarier than the one with Dan Radcliffe in it
I was Wrong flkjdsafkldsja, but I'm delighted to have been wrong. I had missed getting scared with more practical effects/careful timing of things in the background of shots appearing and disappearing, and this one scratches that itch well.
#text post#also fun seeing how differently they interpreted the characters and how they act#personally i'm realising that the Dan version was sort of. Americanised? Which is probably something I should have realised at first watch#but it only hits now when it's like. how to explain#the casts of both versions are both amazing let's preface with that#but. the Dan version felt very Cinematic. I got scared but was also very aware I was watching An Movie during it#(it got colour-graded quite blue which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does register in my head as Peak Cinematic for the current time#the version of the characters in this 89 version feel slightly more real? accurate to the culture they come from?#like. there's an American Openness between the ones in the Dan version#they're too open to share and hand out compliments and comments like candy they have too much of#everyone is Nice in a way that feels mildly unrealistic#and when they are mad at each other there's tension but a tension#that to me at least you don't worry abt much bc it just feels almost Already Resolved#and it does sort of just drop off and wind up that way tbh#tho I admit it's been a bit since I read the original story so my apologies if I'm misremembering that it did the same in the book#but I could swear there was more that bit of tension there#anyway it isn't that the 89 characters are all mean but they feel Actually British for lack of better words#they have moments of kindness and do have a general sense of like. yeah they care for their community but also they're getting on w/themsel#and their business and not lingering on the interactions#They're kind but not nice and they just. get on with things which is very nice#and feels more in line with the time period to me/what I expect out of a story like this#anyway speaking of Dan found out the guy playing Arthur in this also played the dad in the gross wizard franchise#which wasn't something I expected to see lol#this is my long barely an essay no one asked for and your sign to go watch the 89 version asap#it's on YT for free which is where I'm watching it so genuinely if anyone want link. I have link fjkdlsfjadlsa#I have so many more thoughts comparing and contrasting Dan to 89 but there are so many tags i'm making myself stop lmao
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charmills · 2 years ago
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i missed the ten-year anniversary of this blog! can’t believe my innermost thoughts from age 13 have been immortalized
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