#basic thesis but it needs that

[snailsnfriends]

C!Tommy and Love, Despite, Despite, Despite: An Essay

Tommy’s entire life story on the SMP can be characterized by a lot of different things. You could see it as a coming of age story, where we watch as Tommy works his way through his teens in strenuous circumstances. You could see it as a story of abuse and the effects of it, the before and after of what Tommy undergoes during Exile. You could see it as a story of strength, of disappointment, of deterioration. You could see it as all of these. None of them are wrong. However, there is one key part of Tommy’s story that remains strong, from beginning to end. Love is what best characterizes Tommy’s story on the Dream SMP. Almost every arc has love at its core, and it is the biggest thing that shapes Tommy and his decisions. 

This essay was written under the assumption that Boundless Sands was Tommy’s finale. I know that it isn’t, but for the sake of this essay, that’s what it is. To maintain my sanity, I started with the Disc War. I am sorry early SMP fans. So with that out of the way, let’s begin. 

Word count: 3.2k

Tommy’s attachment to the discs is one of his first displays of extreme love toward something. He cares very deeply for the discs and finds that they bring him comfort. As time goes on, these discs become more and more important to him, which is why Dream going after them is such an issue. It really is the introduction of love as a larger theme for Tommy and Dream, and it sets the tone for the rest of their stories. Tommy fights tooth and nail to keep the discs in his possession, no matter how much the war presents issues in his day-to-day life. It would be easy to let go of the discs, to give them up and to live peacefully on his own. However, Tommy refuses to do this, not only because of his stubborn nature, but because of how much he loves the discs. As previously stated, they bring him comfort and they remind him of Tubbo, his best friend. Love is what drives Tommy to fight for his discs.

Love is also what drives Tommy to give away his discs later for L’Manberg’s independence. Despite how much the discs mean to him, Tommy is willing to part with them if it means that he and his loved ones can be free of Dream’s terror. No one asks him to do this. No one expects him to do this. Yet still, he gives away something he loves, he gives away what has essentially become a part of himself, in order to better the lives of his family. L’Manberg and the home it created is a big part of Tommy’s life, and the love he has for it is clear throughout his entire story. He grows to see it as a family, and he grows very close to Wilbur at this time, even seeing him as a brother. Tommy idolizes Wilbur a lot in this arc and really looks up to him as a leader. This is, once again, an act of love. L’Manberg provides a safe place for Tommy and Tubbo to fuck around, and the nurturing envoirment only feeds into Tommy’s love for it. Tommy dedicates himself to L’Manberg and even dies for it, not because he is asked to, not because he is pressured to, but because he genuinely loves L’Manberg and the people within it. 

When Tommy and Wilbur lose L’Manberg after the elections, it is love that spares Tommy from having a complete breakdown. His love for the country and for Wilbur is what fuels him to have a positive outlook in a time of despair. He knows that if he fights hard enough, if he loves hard enough, he will be able to return to the home that he helped create and he will be able to help Wilbur get out of the state that he’s in. Tommy’s time in Pogtopia is a very big test for him because he lost the two biggest beacons of stability he had: L’Manberg and Wilbur. There are many instances of Wilbur scaring Tommy, or acting “unkind” (in Tommy’s words). Moments like, “let’s be the bad guys,” “you’re never gonna be president,” “Tubbo? He’s lying to you man!” and the pit scene are moments of extreme stress for Tommy. He understands that something is wrong with Wilbur, but he doesn’t know how to articulate that or how to help. Despite seeing his brother in this state and facing the brunt of his spiral (because Tommy is the person most available), Tommy never gives up on Wilbur. Yes, he is upset with Wilbur, is scared of Wilbur, and is, in many instances, angry with Wilbur. But this does not stop Tommy from believing that Wilbur is beyond help or saving. He sticks with Wilbur because he loves Wilbur. He believes that by saving L’Manberg, he can save Wilbur. When it is revealed that a traitor is part of Pogtopia, he refuses to believe that Wilbur is a suspect, despite seeing the button room with his own eyes and restraining Wilbur after seeing him in a suicidal state. It does not matter that all the signs pointed to Wilbur. Tommy loved Wilbur, and knew that there was goodness in him, so he absolutely refused to let Wilbur go until he was no longer given a choice in the matter (he was never given a choice, but you get what I mean). There were many points in Pogtopia where Tommy had every reason to leave, especially after the Green Festival and Wilbur’s behavior in the aftermath. He was free to go at any time. But it was his love for Wilbur and for L’Manberg that prevented Tommy from giving up. 

Wilbur committing suicide on the 16th, though not a suprise for the audience, was a surprise for Tommy. As previously stated, he truly believed that if they got L’Manberg back, which they did, Wilbur would get better. Obviously, this wasn’t correct, and Tommy feels very mixed when it comes to Wilbur from now on. He feels betrayed and is suddenly isolated. He no longer knows how to view Wilbur. Idolization was easy for Tommy, but grieving was not. He understood that Wilbur was not behaving correctly, but he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with Wilbur for long periods of time, because he still loved Wilbur. It’s something that he really struggles to grapple with, how he can love someone despite being hurt by them. Tommy at this time was accustomed to black-and-white thinking, so this sudden shift was overwhelming. Despite his feelings toward Wilbur, he loves Ghostbur, who we’ll come back to during the Exile arc. Before that though, he burns down George’s house with Ranboo, and the Exile confrontation begins. Tommy believes that his friendship, or, his love for Tubbo will save him from Exile. Tommy being proven wrong on this front is something that changes his and Tubbo’s friendship forever. Even though it was proven to him before that love couldn’t save everyone, he still put his faith in it. This line of thinking is questioned even further during Exile.

Love being at the center of Tommy’s story is part of what makes Exile so horrifying. During Exile, Tommy is deprived of love and connection to other people, and this isolation is part of the reason why he attempts suicide later on. Dream has taken notice of Tommy’s love for others and for objects and uses this knowledge to abuse Tommy. He takes away Tommy’s items and blows them up in front of him because he wants Tommy to feel as if he has nothing to love. He is not allowed an outlet to feel any positive emotion. This also ensured that any item Dream gave to Tommy, like the trident, would make him have a highly emotional response, and then taking that away would create an even bigger upset. The compass Ghostbur gives to Tommy elicits this highly emotional response. Tommy considers throwing it away, but doesn’t, because he loves Tubbo, despite being Exiled by him. The beach party only further cements this feeling. Tommy is made to feel as if no one loves him. When love is a large part of what drives Tommy, this can only be a problem. On the final day of Exile, when Dream calls Tommy a bug, making him feel insignificant and like a burden, he feels most unloved. Dream had tried, and succeeded, in making Tommy believe that he was Tommy’s only friend. But by saying this, he has made it clear that he does not love, let alone care for Tommy, the way a friend should. This, along with the other instances of abuse during Exile, is what drives Tommy to attempt suicide. While on the verge of attempting, Tommy realizes that Dream is not his friend, that love is not present, that he has been starved of it for an extended period of time. But because he knows that it does not have to be this way, he wills himself to leave his Exile and to seek refuge in a place that will not only provide safety, but also love: Technoblade’s house. 

Tommy’s relationship with Technoblade, though complicated near the end, was one of love in care, even if that wasn’t explicitly shown all the time. Techno made an effort to include Tommy in his plans, even if he was more of a liability than a helping hand. He let Tommy live in his house and build on his land, even if these builds were an eyesore or a clear indication that Tommy was hiding in his house. He lied right to Dream’s face to save Tommy. These are all, at their core, acts of love, and ones that Tommy responds to positively. Throughout the arc, Tommy is in a delicate state; he is in the process of learning how to live without the threat of abuse looming over his head. It is this love that aids Tommy in his journey. Ghostbur is present for both this arc and Exile, and his friendship is just as important to Tommy. Ghostbur does stir up some bouts of sadness in Tommy just because he’s also Wilbur in a way, but simply being Tommy’s friend and showing him compassion helps Tommy feel better, even in darker moments. He helps Tommy’s grieving process, in a way, by being an outlet for Tommy’s emotions. Tommy doesn’t necessarily get the answers he wants, but he gets something, and that something is taken to heart. Later on in the arc, in the Community House conflict, Tommy says that the discs were worth more than Tubbo. This, obviously, is not true, and Tommy immediately regrets it. He realizes that he does not like the person he is becoming. He does not want to be violent or defensive. He realizes that love was missing in his actions and motivations, which was part of why he was acting in such a hostile way. Tubbo and Tommy go on to apologize for what they’ve done quickly before beginning preparations for Doomsday.

Tommy does not want New L’Manberg to be blown up because it was, at one point, his home, and he knows that people will be put in danger if it’s blown up. However, the even bigger part of this is that Tommy saw Wilbur and L’Manberg as the same thing, so if L’Manberg was destroyed, Wilbur would be destroyed as well. L’Manberg was one of the last “good things” Tommy had of Wilbur, so he didn’t want to see it be ripped apart. This, again, is an example of love as one of Tommy’s motivations; he does not want to see something and someone he loves get blown up for the second time. When the event actually occurs, he argues with Techno so much not just because he disagrees with what’s going on, but because he sees Techno as his friend. He wants to reach some kind of middle ground. Him fighting to make Techno, Dream and Phil stop is an act of love toward L’Manberg and Wilbur. 

The Disc War Finale, as a whole, can be characterized by love. For Tommy specifically though, this takes many forms. While fighting with Dream, Tubbo is compromised and Tommy is forced to choose between the discs (which he thought were real), and Tubbo. It is true that Tommy hesitated, and it’s definitely not one of his greatest moments. But this hesitation takes place because of the amount of stress he is under. If he gives up his discs, he’ll have Tubbo, but he will not be free from Dream’s harassment. If he lets Tubbo die, which is what Tubbo is insisting on because he knows what the stakes are, then he will be free to live in peace. Despite the offering of freedom, Tommy rejects it in favor of saving Tubbo, his best friend. Tommy gave up what he thought was the only way to be relieved from Dream’s abuse in favor of protecting his best friend. This is an act of love. Later on in the stream, when Tommy was told of Dream’s plan to kill Tubbo, he pleaded for a different option, for any other resolution, if it meant that Tubbo could live. Tommy was willing to place himself in danger, in the hands of his abuser, if it meant that Tubbo could live. I sound like a broken record at this point, but this is an act of love. After everyone on the server piles in and Tommy kicks Dream’s ass, (“Dream, put your armor in the hole” will always be iconic) Dream reveals that he has the power to revive people, and would be willing to revive Wilbur. Here, Tommy is presented with yet another deal that involves his freedom. He can either kill Dream and never have to worry about being targeted by him again, or he could keep Dream around and run that risk for even the possibility that Dream would revive Wilbur. Tommy chooses Wilbur. Time and time again, Tommy chooses Wilbur, because he loves Wilbur. They lock Dream up in prison, Tommy takes his discs, and listens to them with Tubbo while Wilbur speaks to Tommy through the mortal plain. In this moment, Tommy acts with love, and receives it as well. 

The Hotel Arc is Tommy’s healing arc, and it is here where he learns how to direct the love he gives to others to himself. With Dream locked away, he has the opportunity to process his traumas and his actions, which he hadn’t been able to really do since Wilbur’s death. This process helps him reconnect with others and with himself. He gains a better understanding of how he reacts in high pressure situations, and he learns how to really live again, not just survive, without someone else watching over him. He builds the Big Innit Hotel and invites most of the server, including Techno, because he wants his hotel to be a place of refuge if things go to shit. He wanted to be there for others, even for those he wasn’t on good terms with. Obviously, this is an act of love. Tommy does a lot of introspective work at this time, and grants himself the patience to work through his issues. He allows himself to be optimistic, and he works very hard to get better. All of these are acts of love, just directed inward. 

Tommy’s acts of love do not make another appearance until Wilbur’s revival because, unsurprisingly, being killed and then brought back by your abuser does not leave a lot of room for love (though this can be its own essay). Tommy is very callous toward Wilbur when he is first revived, and even says that Wilbur should be dead. Not a great start. But it doesn’t take long for Tommy to begin giving Wilbur a tour of the server. Even when Wilbur says that he never cared for L’Manberg, even when he tries to physically fight Tommy, Tommy never stops giving Wilbur the tour. This is an act of love, because Wilbur is clearly antagonizing Tommy, yet Tommy does not leave when he has every chance to do so. This, however, is unhealthy, and really marks the start of their complicated relationship post revival. This behavior only continues when Wilbur and Tommy create Paradise next to Las Nevadas. Wilbur hurts Tommy here as well by fighting with Quackity over who was the “better choice” and by practically begging Tommy to stay with him. Right before he leaves, Wilbur says, “what could go wrong in a prison?” after Tommy repeatedly stated that Dream was dangerous, and that he died in the prison because of Dream. Clearly, Tommy isn’t being treated well, and he’s aware of that fact. Yet he still decides to stick with Wilbur, even if it’s against his better judgment. He loves Wilbur and now struggles to see himself without him. Tommy staying with Wilbur is an act of love, but like last time, is an unhealthy one. This unhealthy behavior doesn’t really stop at all, and frankly, it just gets worse. 

Tommy really trusts Wilbur, despite having no real reason to. This is an act of love. In the Inconsolable Differences stream, Tommy reveals that he was driven to suicide due to the abuse he endured from Dream. This in and of itself is an act of extreme love and trust. He has not told anyone about what happened to him in Exile, let alone the end result of it. The fact that he told Wilbur is an extreme display of trust. Wilbur then creates a plan to get back at Dream without telling Tommy any of the details. Wilbur just asks Tommy for the discs and to trust him. This is a huge ask. The discs are not only an attachment, but a representation of Tommy’s freedom. And Dream is a touchy, dangerous subject for Tommy. Yet still, he agrees to the plan blindly. This is another act of love. He trusts Wilbur enough to just say yes with little to no questions. Obviously, after the plan is enacted, Tommy is rightfully upset and pissed. Wilbur not only threatened to kill himself again, but he also got rid of Tommy’s discs. This is an extreme breach of trust, and Tommy digs into him. When Wilbur reveals that he didn’t get rid of the real discs, Tommy is stunned into silence. Wilbur explains that Tommy is now free, and Tommy thanks him. None of this stops Tommy from hanging out with Wilbur even more, which is a display of love, but again, it’s unhealthy. Wilbur is aware that he and Tommy are not good for one another at the moment. He knows that they are too reliant on one another, and that reliance hurts them both. He acknowledges that there is love there, but the hurt does not outweigh it. This comes to a head in their last stream together, Boundless Sands. Wilbur, purposefully vaguely, tells Tommy that he is leaving. Tommy notices that Wilbur is speaking the way that Tommy himself used to speak during Exile: vaguely, sadly, with the clear intention of death at the end of it without saying “death” specifically. This, understandably, freaks Tommy out, and when Wilbur does not let up on the vagueness, Tommy hits him with his sword. He immediately regrets this and says, “I never used to be this angry.” This is pretty much the biggest example of why they should be apart. One causes the other too much stress, and it ends with both of them getting hurt. Wilbur then drops the act and explains that he’s going to Utah. Wilbur tells him that he was L’Manberg, and that it was made to protect him. They exchange words and a book, and then Wilbur leaves. Tommy is really upset by this, but he doesn’t try to stop Wilbur from leaving. He doesn’t threaten him with violence, he doesn’t beg. He stands on the shore and watches as Wilbur rows out into the sea. Instead of fighting, he lets Wilbur go in the hope that he’ll be happier. This is the final act of love that Tommy gives to Wilbur, and it is the final act of love that is reciprocated.  Tommy is a story of hope, of friendship, of attachment, of triumph, of primes. Tommy is a story of grief, of brothers, of homes, of healing, of failed pranks. But at the heart of all of it, Tommy is a story of love. It is present in almost every part of his life. By loving others and himself, Tommy learns how to live, despite, despite, despite.

[lorillee]

alright everybody. its finally time for my ace attorney investigations 2 retrospective/excuse to talk about the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera for a few thousand words. ive never been good at intro paragraphs so we're just gonna get right into it. this is gonna get long probably so be warned - i was originally going to put it under a cut but unfortunately doing that breaks the image format for some reason so uhhhh we're both just gonna have to live with it 😔 obviously this post is going to have major unmarked spoilers so if you havent played this game for some reason yet you should definitely get on that. anyways. without further ado:

investigations 2 is kind of ultimately about who edgeworth was and who edgeworth is and who edgeworth wants to be, explored via the lens of the nature of parent-child relationships and how parents' legacies impact the decisions their children make and the people they become.

at the end of aa1 (+rfta), edgeworth is confronted with the harsh reality that his mentor/adopted father & the man who taught him everything he knows about prosecuting is 1) a terrible person and 2) did actually have a habit of using forged evidence to keep his 40 year streak going. after being accused of corruption for having used fake evidence himself (unknowingly, but still), edgeworth goes on his whole journey of "what does being a prosecutor even mean, anyways" by means of worlds most melodramatic fake suicide. the answer he ends up arriving at is that defense lawyers and prosecutors, when they have relatively upstanding morals and are given the tools to actually do their jobs, serve as vehicles for the truth, and cannot reliably fulfill this duty without each other. however, the question has always kind of lingered - "well, what about being a defense attorney like gregory?"

phoenix routinely brings up the class trial as like the most formative memory of his own childhood - that experience is inherently tied to who phoenix is as a person - but that trial literally only exists because edgeworth was imitating his father in being a defense attorney. the main character of the main series' inspiration for becoming a defense attorney is intrinsically tied to "back when edgeworth was "good", before manfred "corrupted" him". its because edgeworth becomes a corrupt prosecutor that phoenix chases after him into law school - this apparent complete and entire betrayal of phoenix's whole understanding of him as a person.

so then, now that edgeworth is "good" again, why doesnt he quit the whole prosecutor thing and go back to his childhood dream of becoming like his father?

this question is kind of just left up in the air until investigations 2. with the prosecutor investigation committee being completely corrupted, they make it abundantly clear they dont appreciate edgeworth sticking out of line in an attempt to do his literal job, and try to control him by threatening to take away his badge. furthermore, shields, gregory's old companion, shows back up and works with edgeworth to find the the truth of a handful of incidents that would've otherwise been covered up by the p.i.c. - including gregory's last case, in which he proved that manfred, who prosecuted that same case, did indeed forge evidence.

after relinquishing his badge in a protest against what is clearly an injustice, manfred's old habits being dredged back up, and the extended hand of the man in charge of his father's old law firm, edgeworth is getting pulled in a number of different directions - will he capitulate, give up on prosecuting entirely, run away from his past, and become a defender of the people and an attorney like his father? or will he reject manfred's terrible methods while working to rectify his mentor/adopted father's wrongdoings, face his past head-on, and seek the truth as a prosecutor, regardless of his mentor's legacy and reputation?

both of the paths offered to edgeworth hinge on who he used to be - a boy who wanted nothing more than to be like his father, a phenomenal defense attorney who stood up for those who had nobody to stand up for them, and a young adult who saw the injustice in the world and wanted to punish it in the best way he could think of - becoming like his adopted father who never failed to put a (seemingly) guilty person behind bars.

investigations 2 gives us..... a whole slew of parent-child relationships. like what can only be described as truly an impressive amount: gregory & miles & manfred, master & katherine, sebastian & debeste, gustavia & simon, dover & knightley, blaise & sebastian, courtney & john, lang's dad & lang, and more tangentially manfred & franziska and byrne & kay. for our purposes, though, we're going to focus on the most immediately relevant ones to edgeworth's development specifically - sebastian & blaise and gustavia & simon.

for starters, i think it would probably be best to get the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera soapboxing out of the way.

edgeworth's arc in this game primarily revolves around what he wants to do with his life - he talks a whole lot about his "path", but doesnt really know what that means outside of seeking the truth at all costs. the people around him like to slot him into either "defense attorney" or "prosecutor" for a variety of reasons, but more often than not it ends up boiling down to his fathers in at least some capacity.

franziska is personally betrayed and frankly disgusted by edgeworth giving up his badge (which makes plenty of sense, particularly after their conversation at the end of aa2 and which i have talked about here), and a notable portion of that does have to do with her & manfred's relationship to edgeworth. manfred's influence was a huge factor in miles' decision to become a prosecutor, and they both know it. of course, the more pressing issue for her is the fact that miles is abandoning her again - but the point remains that had it not been for manfred, the likelihood of miles becoming a prosecutor would be, frankly, much lower.

shields, on the other hand, spends a whole lot of the game projecting gregory onto miles. he wants edgeworth to follow in his fathers footsteps and play the role of the returning prodigal son, because he misses gregory and sees a lot of his influence and mannerisms in miles. actually, something i kind of found particularly interesting is that at one point, shields remarks that edgeworth's trademark glare was the same as that of gregory's. theres a whole lot of remarks made on that glare, actually, particularly in combination with edgeworths furrowed brow.

but... shields himself is the one who says this

about - would you guess it - a certain manfred von karma. its no secret that miles has picked up a whole number of manfred's mannerisms and attitudes, even as he's unlearning some of the more harmful ones, but what i found particularly fascinating is that shields saw something that miles picked up from manfred and saw gregory in it instead. while part of it certainly could be that miles did pick part of it up from gregory (which is something that has a basis in the sprites - something i may actually get into a little bit later), its also very possible that this is shields projecting what he wants to see onto miles as opposed to what's actually there. its even more interesting though, because when they first meet, shields actually mistakes edgeworth for manfred because of that glare

shields is so caught up in wanting gregory back from the dead that he occasionally blinds himself from acknowledging that miles is an entirely different person.

and, of course, throughout both this game and the previous investigations game, there's more than a few moments in which edgeworth personally accused of using falsified evidence to convict people - specifically harkening back to our good friend manfred von karma, posterchild of world's most corrupt prosecutors and edgeworth's adopted father/mentor. shields even expresses immense distrust of miles at first simply on this fact, acknowledging that miles was indeed like a son to manfred (..... for whatever that's worth)

actually. while we're here on this point i want to speak briefly about sprite similarities

this game does a whole lot of calling attention to the influence manfred & gregory have had on miles - obviously theres the furrowed brow & piercing gaze and terrible people skills that miles got from manfred, but he also has gregory's affinity for tea and dorky camera face. the sprites also do a great job in visually establishing his inherited mannerisms though - while manfred's influence has done a lot, gregory's habits still peek through the cracks.

ive talked about this a little bit on another post, but i feel like it warrants repeating here anyways. the sprite animations in ace attorney are great for a lot of reasons, but one of the most interesting ones is how they're frequently used to imply connections between characters and the influence of certain relationships.

we know that miles definitely did not get his bowing from manfred, but with gregory's sprites in this game it becomes abundantly clear where they originated from (of course, with the over-the-top melodrama of the von karmas added on top). similarly with miles' hand bounding sprite, its a pointed finger (giving it an accusatory tint, definitely coming from manfred), while gregory's is an open hand (much more inviting), but the bounce nonetheless remains. the sprite similarities between miles & manfred are a bit more straightforward, but something i find tremendously interesting is how the mannerisms miles picked up from his father have the von karma influence absorbed into them - it really is a brilliant visual indicator of the impact both his fathers have had on his character.

i've talked about this general topic semi-extensively on this blog simply because i am truly a bit obsessed with the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera, but i feel like it warrants repeating here anyways since it comes up in this came so often. miles' relationship with gregory is... honestly not really explored terribly much? like shields will reference him a lot and both him and the game itself absolutely loves comparing the two, but as far as edgeworth's personal feelings on gregory go... we. honestly don't get much, either directly or indirectly. which makes sense, obviously - edgeworth was like 9 when he died - but its still interesting. we obviously know that gregory loved edgeworth a lot (see: him thinking about miles periodically throughout the investigation . which is. for the record. absolutely adorable)

but miles doesn't get much of anything at all in terms of internal or external dialogue about gregory. his relationship with manfred, however, is... a lot more messy, but also explored a fair bit through implications.

mr von karma gets brought up a lot in both investigations 1 & 2, and miles' reaction is largely the same - he'll comment on objective facts (usually ones that were brought up in the first by the people around him) whether its manfred's skill in prosecuting or his tendency towards forgery, but blatantly refuses to ever give any sort of subjective opinion on him (franziska is, for the record, the exact same way). theyll dance around the topic, sure, but never genuinely engage with it - as much can be seen if you make edgeworth present his badge to amano in investigations 1.

while franziska's feelings on her father are a lot more obscured, miles' are a little more openly messy - after all, he still keeps his prosecutors badge in his pocket all these years after manfred told him prosecutors who wore their badges are tacky. he still wears the jabot, an integral and iconic bit of manfreds attire (and another thing that made shields briefly think he was manfred). he still has no problem connecting with and helping manfred's old friends (amano, for example). and, mostly damning of all, he still keeps his old prosecutors outfit - the outfit manfred gave him based off of his own suit - plastered to his office wall. its clear that he doesnt approve of manfred's methods of prosecution and recognizes that he was definitely corrupt, but even with all the murder and framing and so on and so forth... manfred was still his dad. even if its not logical for miles to still hold on to that filial love, you cant really argue your emotions into changing into something rational.

with the repeated importance being placed on the influence of gregory and manfred on miles' life, their relationship to him, and other people's expectations for miles based on their legacies established, i think we can probably try to get into sebastian now. gonna be copy-pasting most of my sebastian vs miles & franziska mini-essay here because i dont want to retype it.

sebastian is actually a kind of interesting foil for franziska and miles - its pretty clear that franziska didnt become a prosecutor specifically for manfreds approval (see: miles’ comment on her always having been a prosecutor) and likewise with edgeworth (see: his statement on his motivation for becoming a prosecutor having been to chase down criminals after what happened to gregory), but throughout the flashback case in investigations 1 it is so obvious that both of them desperately crave manfred’s approval even to the point of competing over it.

while this competition follows the usual format of franziska insisting on something and miles passively going along with it as opposed to actively engaging, he spends the entire case literally trying to be a mini-manfred (its very sad and also kind of cute), and its made pretty clear that at the very least he would not be the prosecutor he is without manfred’s influence. furthermore, at the end of aa2, franziska also comments on the pressures and expectations being placed on her by virtue of being manfred’s daughter - she felt that she was obligated to become a genius prosecutor simply because of her birth. while the wording indicated to me outside pressure rather than manfred specifically, the point remains that manfred, while not the sole driving reason, did have a significant impact on their career choice.

sebastian, however, specifically says he became a prosecutor for the purpose of getting his dad's approval. blaise routinely speaks ill of sebastian, calling him stupid and an idiot and embarrassing and so on and so forth, but its incredibly clear that sebastian is genuinely desperate for any sort of positive affirmation from his father. he unknowingly cheated his way through law school, graduating at the top of his class purely through blaise's connections, and is genuinely distraught when he finds out that everything he built his adult life on was a lie. the game spends a fair amount of time showing you how wildly terrible sebastian is at being a prosecutor, only to reveal that the reason he's like this is, like, 80% his dad's fault.

unlike sebastian, however, franziska and miles are both quite competent at their jobs and manfred, unlike blaise, actually has confidence in their ability to perform to his expectations (see: him bullying badd into letting them try to solve the case in the investigations 1 flashback case). sebastian & blaise are like a worse and caricatured version of the von karma family soap - basically, they're what would happen if miles & franziska 1) were absolutely dependent on manfreds approval and 2) weren't terribly good at prosecuting, and if manfred was 1) prone to coddling and 2) actively verbally abusive.

theres also the added parallel of “oops! my dad actually really sucks as a person” and the ensuing Complicated Feelings On Dad after this. franziska expresses an egregious amount of disdain for sebastian before we really get into the blaise debacle because she doesnt respect him as a person at all, but is honestly surprisingly sympathetic when it turns out his dad is a criminal. futhermore, she willingly relinquishes her place at the prosecutor's bench for him when its clear he's ready to stand up to blaise, even if hes crying and sobbing the whole way through. its this shared experience and his subsequent growing of a spine that earns her respect.

edgeworth, for his part, also doesnt seem to respect sebastian much at all before the kidnapping incident. however, upon trying to prod him into telling what happened, edgeworth recognizes a part of his old self in sebastian, as well as sebastians willingness to grow up and move past his desperation for his father's approval.

more than just being a funhouse mirror version of the von karmas, blaise and sebastians relationship highlights the dangers of blindly chasing after your parents, critical thinking long forgotten, which has a twofold meaning in regards to miles. obviously, theres the pretty straightforward parallel to his blatant idolization of manfred as a young prosecutor - while the situation wasnt necessarily the same, it still possesses those echoes of a desperate need for acknowledgement/approval, to the point of following their fathers' examples even in the worst ways. @/pkducklett left some really great tags on one of my posts which hits the nail on the head:

but it also begs the question: is blindly chasing after his childhood dream of being like gregory really what miles wants to do with his life? a point we'll loop back around to in a bit, but important to keep in mind for edgeworth's overall arc.

so onto simon & gustavia! simon's relationship with his murderous father gustavia also serves as a foil to miles and one of his dads like sebastian & blaise - however, instead of our notoriously trigger happy friend manfred von karma, it's actually.... gregory! which is, for the record, tremendously fun. simon & miles both became orphans at a young age - which is a notable part of the reason edgeworth agrees to take his case in the jail episode, even. the camaraderie between two people who have shared in the same traumatizing experience and so on and so forth - but instead of being taken from his son like gregory was, gustavia purposely abandons simon once he's deemed him worthless.

post-orphaning, both miles & sebastian are taken under the wing of men of questionable character - miles is adopted by manfred von karma, gregory's rival, murderer, and the anti-thesis of everything he stood for, and sebastian becomes the apprentice to dogen, a ruthless assassin. interestingly enough, though, this parallel diverges in the end - manfred throws miles under the bus and backs up over him like three separate times, metaphorically speaking, while dogen actively puts his life on the line to save sebastian.

miles & simon both experienced the injustice of the law system - miles in the absolute failure of the courts to find his father's true murderer, and simon in his personal experience in its utter corruption. their reactions to this injustice leads them both to commit further injustices - miles in uncritically adopting manfred's ideals and teachings, and in this process definitely sending innocent people to jail at some point or another, and simon in his attempt at semi-vigilante justice via manipulating all the people who ruined his life into either ending or ruining each others', regardless of anybody innocent who got caught in the crossfire.

of course, the narrative purpose of making simon a foil to miles is the final confrontation on three main points - 1) what does miles fight for? why is he a prosecutor? 2) how do you deal with the absolutely rotten law system in japanifornia? 3) are we simply doomed to become our parents, or can we become more than just their continued legacies? which naturally leads us to the final question posed in the thesis - the heart of the game - who does miles want to be?

shields spends a lot of time trying to convince miles to pick up gregory's mantle and join him back at the law offices, but the problem is that miles simply isn't the starry-eyed child who would do anything to be like his father anymore (growing up under the roof of one of the greatest prosecutors of one's time will do that to you). he's no longer the sebastian to blaise for either of his fathers - he cannot simply throw everything he's learned and experienced away in an attempt to imitate gregory, but also has soundly rejected many of manfred's most staunchly held ideals. while not all of them remain, a major part of the reasons he became a prosecutor still hold - even as he's abandoned his badge.

simon was what edgeworth could have become under slightly different circumstances, and he says as much himself. he recognizes that the law isn't perfect and more often than not is wildly abused by everybody in power to subject everybody else to their whims - and that, no matter how hard a defense attorney tries.... if the courts are inherently stacked against them, a corrupt prosecutor will inevitably win. at the end of aa2, edgeworth returns from his wildly melodramatic sabbatical with the answer that the prosecution and the defense need to work hand in hand to reveal the truth - which is, obviously, a correct statement - but there's more to it than that.

there's more than just the defendant at stake in trial - the protection of the victims (whether recognized as the victim by the law or not) are why the laws exist in the first place - this is the reason that edgeworth arrives at for his reason for being a prosecutor. its simon who reminds him of why he started down this path in the first place - the visceral pain edgeworth felt at his father's death and the desire for justice to be done for gregory and himself mirroring simon's feelings after being abandoned by his father and his flight after being the witness to a crime wildly corrupt people in power committed. to be what phoenix was for him in turnabout goodbyes - to be a beacon of hope and justice for the wronged - that is miles' duty.

edgeworth speaks a lot about following "his path" to truth, wherever that might lead, but at the beginning of the game doesnt seem to have a clear idea of what he actually wants to do. he stalls out on shields' many wink wink nudge nudge offers to join the defense attorney firm and be like his dad and continues acting like a prosecutor (indicting people, investigating, the likes) even while being stripped of his authority as one (by his own choice!).

ultimately it all boils back down to these three questions miles asks sebastian in the logic chess game post kidnapping - "what are you going to do now? will you walk the same path as your father? will you continue to be a prosecutor?"

much, much earlier in the game, shields says to edgeworth, "to fight crime as a prosecutor, or to save people as a defense attorney. i want you to think carefully about how you want to live your life from now on." - which, taken with the context of the game as an essay on parents and inheritance and manfred & gregory's influence on miles, is... pretty much the game in a nutshell, actually.

miles spends the entire time playing both defense attorney and prosecutor, indicting certain people and defending others throughout. this is arguably most notable in the flashback/flashforward case where all the members of the original is-7 investigation are there, except for manfred and gregory, who are both being stood in for by - would you guess it - our very own miles edgeworth. he is their legacy, their successor, and their inheritor. in the end, he takes the skills they taught him and the values they imbued him with and the lessons he learned from them to forge his own path - it really is just his final answer to shields' question in the finale of the game: "i want to save people as a prosecutor."

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

"But the reason why we retell the tales over and over is to create hope. We keep these themes and characters alive because we need them, because we need to make sense of what is happening and what needs to happen in our lives, and what better way to do that than with grand, tragic characters who already make sense to us? They explain the world to us and inspire us to keep going even though a happy ending may not be possible (Gilgamesh) and maybe because a happy ending may not be possible yet (Arthur).

“When Albion’s need is greatest,” Kilgharrah says in the last episode of Merlin, “Arthur will rise again.”

And he has risen when we needed him most. Multiple times. We were even the ones doing the resurrecting."

[pwurrz]

god i cannot imagine how i would feel if, in one of my worst moments, my best and only friend chose not to comfort me or try to make me feel better but instead chose to metaphorically go for my throat and tell me that if i didn’t to face the facts and acknowledge my childhood trauma and the massive amount of guilt and people pleasing behaviour stemming from that, that i was going to ruin my life. i.. don’t blame kaveh at all for tearing apart their thesis.

[russellmaelofficial]

[couriernewvegas]

realizing youve spent ~6 months doing literally nothing of substance . ….

[neverbelessthan]

I got tagged by the lovely @sleepystede to make an adorable little picrew blorbo dude. Thank you for tagging me! 🥰

I was feelin' the spots. He looks like a little chicken stuck in a stress ball. Also this is a 10/10 accurate representation of me in a few weeks, glasses and noise cancelling headphones on, listening to @lindie-kninjaknitter's podfics while i wander about Japan ✌️

tagging: @jessystardust, @adickaboutspoons, @scorpiostarseed, @wickedlycaskett, @endevouring-to-surprise, @daria-meoi, @pumpkinspicepirates and sorry sorry sorry if i've tagged anyone who has already done it, and if I missed someone who would like to do it please just pretend that I'm better at this than I am and that I tagged you. (And if I keep tagging you for these things and you hate them, please tell me to stop.) *social anxiety jazz hands*

(I've been buried under mountains of uni work and only just realised that i've been tagged for a bunch of things! Sorry! I'm slowly toddling my way through them, thank you so much for thinking of me! ❤️)

[hollytanaka]

lol someone I followed really reblogged something that implied “from the river to the sea” is antisemitic and all equations of Zionism with colonialism are antisemitic.

I hit that block and unfollow button so fast 🏃🏽‍♀️

how do you study the intellectual origins of zionism and not see how it's rooted in european colonialism lol. zionism is not a monolith; i understand there are variants of it as an ideology. but my god some of the first zionist settlers in palestine self-described/identified as colonizers lol. and the entire field of settler-colonial studies basically agrees that the creation of israel was a zionist settler-colonial project; the two are related.

also 'from the river to the sea' isn't about exterminating jews -- be so fucking for real.

using your position as a 'leftist jew' to be so loud in spaces made up of arabs + palestinians + people from the global south (communities that are always, always being silenced by westerners) and to then discreetly repeat anti-palestinian talking points and get away with it in the name of 'being nuanced' is fucking disgusting.

in any context, it would be gross. but it is especially so in the midst of a genocide where nearly 7000 innocents have died within a matter of days.

[ch0c00n]

I love your art so much especially the more neon colored art like I just love when my eyes hurt due to colors /srs

this reminded me i haven't drawn anything neon lately......... you might get something like that later

[crescentmoonrider]

still workshopping a watermark so ill probably change it up in the future, but not posting anything ive been making was making me sick, so

anyway marcus law gardening weirdo beyondian plants

[glennmillerorchestra]

if i hear one more person* say something along the lines of “mccartney was a pop star, lennon was an artist” i will lose my goddamn mind

*middle-aged men with music opinions that are wrong

[wuntrum]

love sitting and thinking about watching a movie and then not actually watching the movie or any movie, for that matter

[msdk-00]

do you think if i knock on the embassy door and break down and cry they'll accept me for the gks scholarship. i mean im writing the fuck out of this essay but i fear that might not be enough

[nellectronic]

why is the human body so so so stupid

[monstersinthecosmos]

i remember yeeeaaars ago sending you an anon about how ttsr! seemed to be panning out to be a slow burn daddy kink and it's been such a ride since then LMAO. ugh i'm so excited!! it's literally my favorite fic ever 🫶

sgakhs babe ur so famous to me

I always worry a little bit because I was adding tags as they become relevant to avoid SPOILERS but I would feel bad if someone was like SUUUUPER daddy kink averse and got invested. But in fact, one of my cheerleaders who reads the WIP has that, and I make a special redacted google doc for him, and I wound up making an author's note offering that to anyone else.

But! It was there the whole time so, like. SARRY LOL. The clues are there! s2g though, no shame if anyone gets grossed out by any elements of this fic that weren't tagged yet, I don't want to upset anybody!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't want to tag in advance in case I changed my mind and also just for spoiler purposes. I also went back at one point and added warnings in the end notes of each chapter so I just want everyone to feel safe reading it if they want to!!!

[transfaggot]

Finally finished writing an actually coherent draft of my law school diversity statement and I feel SO relieved