#battery life hacks

[wrenrcs]

Keeping a 9v battery on my desk to periodically lick to keep myself awake.

[snailfen]

logically i know hacking a 3DS won't be hard and it shouldn't require much but unfortunately ever since my battery bloated i am. Paranoid

[revvethasmythh]

you know, I was worried that picking up a video game while I'm still trying to finish this fic draft would be a problem, but considering I can only play as long as my computer's charge reasonably allows (as it stops charging at some point while I'm playing) and then I have to wait for my computer to recharge, I actually have plenty of time to write in the meantime

[cruelsister-moved2]

New babies thank you morrisons

[toyotaofnorthcharlotte]

What's killing your car battery?

Have you ever had a dead car battery? It can be a stressful situation - even if you can jump your car and avoid a tow, you still might have to shell out for a new car battery. But why does your car battery die in the first place? Toyota of N Charlotte's car care techs are here with answers + ways to keep your car battery in the best shape possible.

#1: Your car has a parasitic draw. A parasitic draw is when something in your car is drawing power from the battery while the car is off and unable to charge the car battery. This can be - for example - a light left on inside the cabin. The light will slowly drain the car battery until it's dead, leaving you in a bad situation. Be sure to turn all lights off and make sure all doors are closed before you leave your vehicle.

#2: Your battery connections are dirty or loose. Did you know that as you drive, your car battery connections can loosen? They can also become dirty and corroded. In either case, they can interfere with your battery working properly and shorten its life. Be sure to check, tighten, and clean your battery connections regularly, or have our Charlotte auto service techs do it for you.

#3: Your car's alternator is on the fritz. Your car alternator's job is to charge your car battery while the vehicle is running. If it's not working, it can't do its job - which means your car battery isn't being charged, and its life is being shortened. If you suspect any issues with your car alternator, have our Charlotte auto service techs take a look.

#4: The weather around you is extreme. Extreme weather - whether it's hot or cold - can negatively impact your car battery's performance and lifespan. There are precautions you can take - routine maintenance being one of them - so let our Charlotte car care techs give you some tips on how to protect your car battery in extreme weather.

Need a bit of assistance with your car battery, or need to replace it altogether? We can help. Call Toyota of N Charlotte today at (704) 875-9199 and let us get you safely back on the road.

#2: Your battery connections are dirty or loose. Did you know that as you drive, your car battery connections can loosen? They can also become dirty and corroded. In either case, they can interfere with your battery working properly and shorten its life. Be sure to check, tighten, and clean your battery connections regularly, or have our Charlotte auto service techs do it for you.

#3: Your car's alternator is on the fritz. Your car alternator's job is to charge your car battery while the vehicle is running. If it's not working, it can't do its job - which means your car battery isn't being charged, and its life is being shortened. If you suspect any issues with your car alternator, have our Charlotte auto service techs take a look.

#4: The weather around you is extreme. Extreme weather - whether it's hot or cold - can negatively impact your car battery's performance and lifespan. There are precautions you can take - routine maintenance being one of them - so let our Charlotte car care techs give you some tips on how to protect your car battery in extreme weather.

Need a bit of assistance with your car battery, or need to replace it altogether? We can help. Call Toyota of N Charlotte today at (704) 875-9199 and let us get you safely back on the road.

[toyotaofclermont]

What kills your car battery?

Turning the key in your ignition and getting no response from your car is a pretty bad feeling - it more than likely means that your car battery is dead and you're going to need a jump, as well as possibly need a replacement battery (and maybe even a tow if you can't jump your car). But what kills your car battery? Our Orlando Toyota service techs are here to explain.

#1: You have a parasitic draw. A parasitic draw is when something is drawing power from your battery when it shouldn't be. This can happen, for example, when you leave a light on after the car is turned off. The car isn't running to power the light, so the light will pull power from the car battery. Over time, this parasitic draw can weaken and eventually, drain your car battery, leaving it dead.

#2: Your alternator is going bad. Your alternator is the part of the car that charges your battery while you drive. If your alternator is not working properly, it can't charge your car battery up and eventually, the battery will die. If you think you have alternator issues, bring your car to Toyota of Clermont so we can check things out.

#3: Your battery connections are loose or bad. Over time, your car battery connections can be wiggled loose (just from driving). They can also become dirty and corroded. Either way, they can interfere with your car battery working properly. Be sure that you clean and tighten them regularly to ensure a tight connection.

Think you might need car battery service, or need a replacement? Toyota of Clermont can help. Call us today at (352) 404-7001 or stop by. We're at 16851 State Road 50.

[mikumoroll]

emotional growth is deciding to probably sell my switch (after hacking it so i can grab my new horizons save data because i have had the same island since the game's release day in 2020 + also upcharge for pre-hacking it) but refusing to sell my older handheld consoles (2ds + psp)

[athomewithhumor]

Simple Solutions for Common Problems: 5 Easy Life Hacks

Discover 5 quick and easy solutions for common everyday problems. Watch our YouTube video for more tips!

We all encounter those little everyday problems that can be surprisingly frustrating. From stubborn jar lids to tangled cables, these minor annoyances can disrupt our day. Luckily, we’ve got some super simple solutions to make your life easier. For a quick visual guide, head over to our YouTube channel and watch our latest video. Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more handy tips! **1.…

[tricksfunn]

8 Tips to Extend iPhone Battery Life in 2024

Let’s face it, iPhones are amazing companions, but that constant worry about the battery life can be a real buzzkill. We’ve all been there: scrambling for a charger just as we’re about to capture that perfect sunset pic, or stressing about a dying phone during a long commute. Fear not, fellow iPhone users! There are ways to squeeze more juice out of your beloved device. Here are some…

[satoritech]

People are just noticing simple Android hack that instantly boosts battery life

People are just noticing simple Android hack that instantly boosts battery life

A TIKTOK star has revealed how Android users can make their phone batteries last longer.It’s so simply to do – and can help you avoid a smartphone charge crisis. Read Full Text

[seat-safety-switch]

You've heard of range anxiety, of course. Lots of folks upset about how many miles their theoretical electric car can "do," when they haven't left their city for sixteen years. What my neighbours have to be worried about is strange anxiety, which is to say all the bullshit I stole when the abandoned Tesla factory's fence got cut by those raiders.

Back in the day, hot rodders used to build their cars out of leftover military gear. Once World War II was over, nobody wanted all these cool machines lying around, and the governments of the world had not yet invented China to send their garbage to. Belly tanks. Supply truck axles. Superchargers. All this glorious stuff was just free for the gettin', and gettin' the newly-minted middle class did, stuffing it into their weird shitboxes and then driving around with way too much power and too little understanding of mortality. So it is today.

You see, everything in the entire world has a lithium-ion battery in it. Vapes. Flashlights. Those boxes at the mall that shock people back to life who had a heart attack at the cost of grapes. And folks just chuck this stuff into a pile when something small happens: maybe they don't like the colour anymore, a thinner version came out, or it had a little tiny eenie-weenie baby fire. All those good batteries, these power-dense miracles that would have been science fiction a decade ago, just going to waste.

All this is to say when you see me blowing down the street in a hacked-up Model T, above three Tesla axles, with the rumble seat entirely stuffed with bodge-wired vape batteries, make sure to at least admire the amount of work that went into making all this garbage usable again. And, if it's not too much of a problem for you, please make sure to buy fire extinguishers that are electrical-safe. None of that hose shit anymore, please, it just spreads the flames. We're in the future.

[shushmal]

Stranger to Myself (I think of Home)

For @steddie-week Day 5! Rated T — Check the tags and content warnings!

Eddie is a monster.

Eddie started watching Steve because it didn’t hurt so bad. Didn’t hurt like it does with every glimpse he catches of Wayne, of Dustin. The people who had loved Eddie when he was Eddie. But Steve—Steve was safe. Steve was a boy Eddie knew in passing glances and high school gossip, a guy who was laughing with his friends in another room at every party, a man who planted his feet and fought monsters and helped save the world. Steve who told Eddie to be safe, because Steve was kind when he didn't have to be, when he wasn't expected to—so Eddie finds himself watching Steve instead.

Because Eddie is a monster, and Steve knows exactly what to do with monsters. Eddie knows this.

To Steve, it wouldn't matter that Eddie is the last little bit of the apocalypse still kicking around Hawkins. Eddie who had been chewed up and spat out of hell at the last second, just before the final dungeon slammed shut, sneaking through the shadows unseen, past the unsuspecting heroes wrapped up in their victory. Past his friends, the people who had tried to keep Eddie safe. Past Dustin, who’s face had already been changed by grief.

Past Steve, as well. Steve, who told Eddie to be safe, and Eddie hadn’t.

Eddie wonders sometimes, what Vecna really had in mind for him. 

But Eddie is just an unfinished experiment, not quite who he used to be, but not yet the thing Vecna had been trying to twist him into, before the wrinkly ballsack bastard bit it and disintegrated into dust like some b-grade horror movie villain written by some unimaginative hack that shouldn’t have even been in the writer’s room.

He’s the last piece of the Upside Down, Vecna’s last monster, but Eddie’s worst crime post-resurrection is a bit of misdemeanor stalking, simple battery, and animal cruelty. A guy’s gotta eat, afterall. It had taken a while to figure out his own exact brand of vampirism, but Eddie’s gone a few years now without killing anything or anyone. He would be proud of it, but instead he watches Steve make dinner and feels sick on the aftertaste of iron and salt still coating his tongue.

Eddie had started watching Steve because it didn’t hurt, because Steve would take care of it, if Eddie ever needed to be put down. Eddie knows this.

So, it didn’t hurt so bad to watch Steve—until it did. 

By then, Eddie was too far gone and couldn’t stop.

His Steve who came back to his lonely castle, days and days after that final battle, after the climax of the story, the end of a legend, still bloody and scorched, none the wiser to the monster peering through his windows, watching. And that was Eddie’s first clue, that was how Eddie first learned that he wasn’t really Eddie anymore—that nervous energy he used to have in life had died with him. Now he sits motionless in the tall pines behind Steve’s house for hours and days, unmoving, as he watches Steve live. 

Sometimes, Steve looks out his window, eyes scanning the treetops like he knows Eddie’s there. Everytime, Eddie sits up a little straighter, like a dog eager for attention. But everytime, Steve’s eyes drift past him, unseeing, searching.

It leaves Eddie—already out of step with life, with humanity—a little unsettled, a little too hopeful. Eddie is a thing that shouldn’t be seen ever again, a dead man without a heartbeat, without breath in his lungs, without a reason to exist and yet still here. He wishes he were still dead. He wishes even more that Steve knew he was there, that Steve was looking for him. But Eddie knows better. Eddie can’t go to Steve, because Eddie is a monster and Steve has fought enough monsters. Eddie doesn’t want to get added to the list. He doesn’t want to do that to Steve.

Eddie sits in the trees instead, unmoving and watching for days and weeks. Sometimes he leaves, to feed. Sometimes he stands in the middle of Steve’s empty house when he’s gone, breathing in the lonely silence. Sometimes, he closes his eyes and dreams.

But they’re never his own dreams.

And he never, ever visits anyone else in their sleep, in their dreams and nightmares. No one, except for Steve. His Steve, who’s dreaming of a summer day, sun high in the sky, sitting on the top of skull rock with a six pack and a cigarette. It’s such a simple, beautiful dream. All of Steve’s dreams are like that. Eddie watches the line of Steve’s neck as he tilts his head back in the sunlight, face catching the July warmth.

Steve doesn’t startle when Eddie sits beside him. Just leans in until his head rests on Eddie’s shoulder. It’s beautiful, he’s so beautiful, Eddie wants to cry.

“I miss you,” Steve whispers, like it’s a secret. He presses a smile into Eddie’s jacket. “Isn’t that silly? I barely even knew you.”

Eddie has to swallow back the emotion filling his throat. “Yeah, that’s pretty silly,” he croaks.

“I wanted to though,” Steve sighs. He leans even closer, hands grasping at Eddie’s sleeve, the back of his shirt, and Eddie wishes they could melt into each other, become one thing, become Steve with just Eddie hiding between Steve’s ribs, in his blood, sitting in the center of his chest right next to his heart. “I wanted to know you. I wanted to kiss you so bad.”

If this were real, if they were really sitting on skull rock in the sunlight right now, if Eddie was human, he would be crying. But here, in Steve’s dream, he doesn’t, can’t. Maybe Steve doesn’t want him to be sad.

“Really?” he breathes instead. “Me?”

Steve hums, his hand sliding down into Eddie’s, fingers warm, soft. “Robin calls you my Great Bisexual Awakening.”

Eddie barks a laugh, throwing his head back. He wants to be sobbing, but he laughs instead and when he stops, Steve is looking up at him, painted dream soft and sweet. They watch each other, Eddie cataloging the specks of gold and green in Steve’s eyes. He’s beautiful. 

But then Steve blinks, and the corner of his mouth turns down, smile falling away. Eddie feels his skin prickle. He feels watched.

“I miss you,” Steve says again, urgent. And then, just like that, he smiles again, and the feeling’s gone, and Steve presses his face once more into Eddie’s shoulder. “Tell me something.”

Eddie tries to shake off the feeling of disquiet, to relax back into the tenderness of Steve’s dream. “Like what?”’

“Something I don’t know.” He’s beautiful, so beautiful, and Eddie adores him, loves him so much.

“I wanted to kiss you, too.”

Eddie opens his eyes, his breath sharp in the silent forest, and watches as Steve sits up in his bed, gripping the blankets tight in his fists. Even from here, in his haven in the trees, he can see the tears on Steve’s face. He never wants Steve to cry.

When morning comes, he steals into Steve’s home, buries himself in the lingering warmth of his sheets after Steve leaves for work. The fading smell of him is intoxicating, even the salty sting of Steve’s tears, and Eddie wants so desperately. Wants him from the pain in his throat, the hitch in his breath, the way he’s been hollowed from the inside out. Everything has been taken out of Eddie, scooped from between his ribs and scraped smooth, an empty jack o’lantern waiting to rot on the front step. 

The wanting is worse than the starving, the thirst. Eddie can’t cry anymore, he isn’t human enough to, but he wishes he could.

Instead, he lays in Steve’s bed, breathes him in, and disappears into the woods behind Steve’s home when he hears the rumble of Steve’s car turn onto the street. He watches as Steve falls into the bed, long gone cold since Eddie has soaked up all the warmth from the blankets in the long hours of Steve's absence. He watches, a monster, as Steve’s eyes glance through the window, eyes on the trees. Straightens up, hoping and wanting, and slumps as that gaze slides past him. He watches Steve’s evening with longing building in his chest, and when Steve slips beneath his covers, Eddie closes his eyes.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks.

Steve is sitting on the edge of his roof in this dream, watching the forest intently. He doesn’t turn his head towards Eddie, caught on a particular spot in the woods.

“You, I think. At least, I think it’s you. I hope it’s you.”

Eddie leans in close, hoping that Steve will turn his eyes, to look at Eddie, to give him that sweet, dreamy smile. “You shouldn’t bother waiting for something like me,” he tells Steve, desperate for those pretty eyes to look at him. “You should be happy.”

“I am happy,” Steve murmurs. He doesn’t look happy. He doesn’t look at Eddie. He watches the distant trees, standing guard. “I’m happy waiting. I think I can wait forever.”

Eddie doesn’t dare touch him, doesn’t dare turn Steve’s head. Even though it hurts. It hurts so bad, so Eddie opens his eyes. In the distance, Steve turns in his bed, chest expanding with a sleepy sigh, and doesn’t leave his dreams.

Morning comes again, and the night falls again, morning and night and morning. Eddie rises from his perch, glides closer to the empty house to steal through the unlocked door. He lays in Steve’s bed, in the shadow of Steve’s warmth left on the sheets. Breathes him in, even though Eddie needs no air. He leaves when he hears the rumble of a familiar engine. Night falls. He closes his eyes.

Eddie watches the way Steve sits on the edge of his roof again, feet dangling, eyes scanning the treeline at the back of his house, quiet and sentry. Like he’s waiting for another monster to appear between the tree trunks. Eddie sits beside him, and doesn’t speak, not even when Steve whispers, only once.

“I miss you.”

Morning comes again, and then night. Sun and moon, wax and wane. The summer heat does not bother Eddie, nor does the winter snow. He imagines building a family of snowmen in Steve’s yard, company for a lonely house. No one visits Steve here. Like they’d forgotten Steve altogether, and Eddie’s the only one left to bear witness to Steve Harrington. Steve who is lonely, who sleeps and dreams and waits for the monster in the woods. Or maybe…

Maybe Steve told them not to come here. Because here is only for Steve, and only for Eddie.

Night falls, and then the morning breaks. Steve doesn’t rise from the bed.

Uneasily, Eddie shifts. Snow slides from his shoulders, landing in heavy thumps on the forest floor below him. He watches as Steve rolls onto his back, arm over his eyes, mouth twisted in pain. Even from here, he can see the tears on Steve’s face. He watches Steve lay in bed the entire day, until night falls. Eddie closes his eyes.

Steve’s dream isn’t a dream this time—a vast darkness instead, stretching long and far. Eddie takes a hesitant step. Water splashes beneath his bare foot. He turns.

And suddenly, it’s like he can hear Steve in his ear, whispering, “I’m happy waiting. I think I can wait forever.”

Eddie turns again, and Steve is there, watching, waiting. Eddie feels the instinct of it, the prickling awareness of being seen. It settles over his skin, sharp and biting like ants. Eddie is the monster, and Steve has found him. His gaze roots Eddie where he stands, water lapping against his toes. The ripples roll away from him, stretching the unreachable distance between Eddie and Steve, distant stars, until they crash against Steve’s feet, and the water settles again, falls calm.

“I miss you though,” Steve whispers, right into Eddie’s ear. “I can wait forever, but I miss you.”

“Really?” Eddie asks. It echoes through the dark. He can see the way Steve smiles, even from so far away.

“Of course,” Steve whispers. “I’m waiting for—”

Dawn breaks through the trees, and Eddie opens his eyes with a gasp. The sound is sharp through the silent forest. Morning mist rises from the pine strewn ground. Steve isn’t in his bed anymore, and Eddie feels himself almost panic, gaze searching.

Searching, until he finds Steve, not even three feet up, sitting above his window on the roof. He stares out into the trees, stares right at Eddie, finally sees the monster in the woods. That gaze raises the hair on Eddie’s arm, animal instinct tightening his muscles, his bones. Steve watches him from his perch on the roof, watches Eddie watch him back. 

He’s the most beautiful thing Eddie’s ever seen.

Because Steve’s not standing guard. He’s waiting. Waiting for the thing in the woods, for Eddie to finally come home.

Eddie shouldn’t, shouldn’t go to him, but now that he knows, how can he make Steve wait a moment longer? 

Steve gasps when he appears, but it’s not fear in his eyes when he looks at Eddie. Eddie feels it again, feels watched, feels seen. Steve looks up at him and his smile is the most beautiful thing Eddie’s ever seen.

“There you are,” he whispers. “I missed you."

[kenyatta]

What’s going on is this: The plug on the buds using this workaround goes into the Lightning slot, which then doubles as a Bluetooth receiver that receives power from the port but routes its signal through the phone’s Bluetooth. That means your wired connection is actually wireless. Yes, the audio is moving from the headphone jack to the earbuds in a traditional wired manner, but the signal gets to the jack through no physical data transfer at all. So, bizarrely, even though the buds are plugged into your phone, all they’re doing with this physical connection is drawing power for their onboard Bluetooth chip. (And potentially eating up more of your battery life.) [...] Is it a scam? Technically no—but depending on your point of view, there's either deception going on here or some kind of ingenious hack. Still, for better or worse, it is a way for companies to get around one of the many restrictions Apple puts on doing business with the company.

[captainzigo]

so unfortunately very few entries here are going to properly be vintage. also what i consider vintage might not line up with what you do. i am not old.

also i am not wealthy. and my family isn’t wealthy. this is an expensive hobby to have. i get most of my stuff from loving it and refusing to throw it away… and digging through the trash at university. you would be surprised with the stuff people throw away. planned obsolescence has nothing on the fact that people can’t be bothered to fix a sour harddrive.

i actually fix computers as a sort of second job. it’s nice to work on computers i can’t afford and that aren’t from the trash. but i love old tech. i love breathing life in to things long dead. i’m a technonecromancer. i am not including pictures of things i haven’t finished yet for the most part. and i simply am not including most things. this is but a fraction of my power

ok so these are all my computers that work. i didn’t include ones that im still working on. they all worked but needed repairs variously. mostly they just needed new hard drives.

my game consoles. again not including ones that don’t work. i actually bought that 3ds, but the rest my parents gave me after they got them used. that gameboy has needed a screen replacement that required soldering. the ds is my little trooper and has needed nothing ever. the wii needed a new disc drive. and the 3ds came in japanese and i hacked it to english.

there’s a back view of my stickers

these are some of my various devices. again not including ones that don’t work. that nano needed a new battery which was actual hell and i’m surprised it survived. that ipad is the first ipad and she works beautifully and one time i fastened it to my tummy for a tellytubby costume. i was slutty lala and i played the old spiderman movie trilogy in glorious VHS quality. i couldn’t find my iphone 3gs for this picture :( but it will turn up. i’ll include an old picture instead of cleaning my room to find it lol

here are some novelties i just like. thats an old radio i swiped from my great grandfather. i got it working but it broke again. i dont know whats wrong with it and its so old that the parts are impossible to find. on the right is the browser for DS which is just so quaint. i love it. it barely works at all but i loaded a wikipedia page one time so xP

this is my terrible stupid tiny phone i got from aliexpress that barely works BUT IT DOES WORK and is technically loaded with all modern smartphone features. i attached a video of it barely playing roblox

this is my og imac. with the og keyboard. i didn’t include it with the working computers because it doesn’t. the harddrive died and im trying to fix it but its really hard. i’ve already sought out two different adapters that haven’t worked

and this is a commodore 64 that i also got out of the trash. it does not work but im hoping to make it work. someone clearly loved it. enough to paint it crazy colors and enough to

write some weird scifi quote on the inside of the case under the RF shield. but maybe they died, or it just became too much of an undertaking.

not included here is:

• several more apple products that i just don’t think look good. all the iphones between 6 and 11 are just so ugly. and i don’t actually like the way apple watches look

• the phone, tablet, and smart watch i actively use

• various bits and bobs like the official speakers for a imac 4, an electronic pocket dictionary, various wii peripherals and so on

• all of my audio equipment

• my iphone 3gs. i just never found it or any pictures of it. i love it tho. it was my first phone (hand me down. i’m not that old) and i have had to repair it so many times and i love taking bad photos with it

• all of my monitors

• my many videogames

• my old fridge that i love and cherish and use

• anything i have fixed and then given to someone else

• a bunch of other stuff

so if you are a beautiful trans woman, are you in love with me yet? or do i need to make a part two

[movedtodykedvonte]

What games I think the ATVS cast has on their phones if you were to ask them:

Miles: Those paint by color games but also somehow Minecraft Java cause that’s how it is in his universe. Most intricate and beautiful pixel art known to man on those worlds but is dog shit at making them in the computer.

Rio: 2048 cause she thinks it stimulates the mind and wants to have something in common with Miles and thinks it’s improving her math skills. Also cut the rope cause the alien is cute.

Jefferson: Classic solitaire or Wordscapes. Goes to Miles constantly when he can’t figure out a word or move and brags about how Miles is for getting a word like Suspect.

Miguel: Every single candy crush, at the highest current level and logged into Facebook to save his streak. So much gold cause he never loses a level and one time he did he broke down and banned candy for a week.

Peter: The most obscure like bottom of the barrel game you see on those tik toks. Charge phone simulator or he literally turns the internet off and plays the Dino game cause he’s too poor to afford the gigs for game space.

Mayday: Those fake phones from Claire’s that play the little jingles but she drooled on it and shorted the battery so it just sound like the wails of the damned.

Gwen: Girl has PianoTiles un ironically and pirated geometry dash. She can play both with her eyes closed. Also that hairstyling game that she may or may not use to choose her next hair color.

Hobie: Doesn’t believe in phones due to governments stealing ur data and uses a cup and string he throws through a portal to talk to the others instead.

Pavitr: Cookie run kingdom but his kingdom has the most cluttered design to mimick Mumbattun. Worst team set ups of your life. Also one random virtual pet game that he takes way too seriously

Margo: Episode and Bitlife but she hacks Episode for diamonds cause she ain’t gonna have her characters act or look like raggedy bitches

Jess: Candy crush but not a freak like Miguel. Probably has Farm life too. Only plays them at night in bed like that one image of Peter Griffin

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Uhm uh could you info dump about your Portal AU 👉👈 (I definitely do not have ulterior motives and I am definitely not thinking about inserting my OC into the AU hahahaha why would you think that)

I don't know what there is to infodump about so here is a sort of... timeline? Compendium?

Most of it is the same as canon Portal 2, except GLaDOS and Wheatley are androids.

The AU starts when GLaDOS - disconnected from the main chassis and connected instead to a potato battery - and Chell fall into old aperture. They discover Cave Johnson, not deceased as was widely believed but rather locked underground in android form along with an outdated maintenance system for Aperture. Inspired by this fic, to be specific. (I call him an android for convenience but technically he may count as a cyborg. Haven't really delved into that. He's not "alive" in the fully human sense, though.)

They need the data stored in Cave to get through some parts of Old Aperture, so they begrudgingly take him along. Most of the cables coming out of his neck and wrists used to be connected to a now obsolete surveillance/maintenance system, and are now haphazardly rolled up around him. His power cable is connected to another potato battery (which he usually keeps in his pocket).

Like other Aperture "personality constructs", Cave can "remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts", but it has its limitations - as is the case with GLaDOS, using too much energy can get him knocked out.

Cave's endgoal here is to end his own life, which he can't do on his own due to several failsafe measures built into him (such as being unable to unplug himself from the system in the first place, and as a result being stuck underground). He still keeps up his cheery, eccentric (and far from sane) attitude, but with an added hint of cynicism and roundabout self-deprecation. Decades of mulling over his life underground has led him to have some regrets about certain decisions, although he would never speak any of it out loud to anyone. Personality-wise, some inspirations were taken from the robot Cave in Aperture Desk Job.

In one possible ending for the story (which I haven't mentioned before but have had in mind for some time), they enter a newer part of Aperture where the emancipation grills do not have the data that lets Cave enter without being disintegrated. Here he acknowledges that Chell and GLaDOS have no more need of him and voluntarily walks into the emancipation grill.

Here's an excerpt from my notes.

"These emancipation grills were built in my time. They're not calibrated to accomodate-" GLaDOS gestures towards Johnson. "- him. We'll need to find a way to hack into the-" "Hey hey hey- don't bother. I'm gonna be level with you. You don't need me anymore." "Elaborate." "The stuff built here on out's brand new. I don't even have the code for it. Sure, you needed me to get through the old facility, but I think I'm gonna head out now." "…Is that so." "My time is up, I can feel it. I'm not going to heaven, no sir. Was never much of a religions guy anyway. But know this, lady," the former CEO turns to Chell. "I want to see you make it out alive. This facility I built, it swallows you up. Don't get me wrong, it's the best damn science facility on this earth and I couldn't be more proud of it, but you stay here too long and- well." He shrugs, cables dangling from and wrapped around him like ropes. "It's pretty much my destiny to die down here, but you, kid, you get out there. You go up to the surface and see the daylight. Caroline, take care of the facility. Oh, and her." "Yes sir Mr Johnson…" "Oh and beat that moron's ass for me." They go through the fizzler, leaving him behind - there is a sound that makes Chell turn back, only to see some particles evaporating. GLaDOS doesn't turn back. "Goodbye sir."