#bby girl please someone give her a hug my fucking god

[smokestarrules]

...Here’s one of the stills promo-ing for the next ep (notably, the other one I’ve seen was Prospera looking Smug as hell) and. welp. we are so unbelievably fucked

[3cremepie3]

Realize

♥️Kobeni x fem reader smut 18+♥️

Synopsis - Kobeni didn’t realize you had a extra long tongue it was too late when she did

A/n - for @hoorayeureka thanks for being my first ask bby! Don’t be shy to ask again and again! This is the first time I wrote in first person on here hopefully y’all enjoy!

Warnings - oral (giving), squirting, semi public (i guess), slight dirty talk, praise

“Y/n was that okay?” I looked at her waiting for disapproval. “That was more than okay.” So I kissed her again this time it was an open-mouthed kiss that took my breath away. Kinda like the first time I saw her.

She snaked her hand up my shirt unclasping my bra while I worked on unbuttoning my white blouse. We didn’t break from the kiss the whole time lips too hungry to separate. It wasn’t until I had to take my shirt over my head.

She threw my bra to the floor along with my shirt and hers. Soon all of our clothes were forgotten on the ground scattered about my studio apartment. “What if someone comes in I didn’t lock my door,” I asked. “Then let them enjoy the show those perverts should learn how to knock.”

She was right but I was still pretty nervous goose bumps formed on my skin but quickly left as I became hot at the sight of her nude. She kneeled on top of me fully taking in my presence.

“I need to go to work tomorrow don’t leave bruises,” I asked. “You don’t want anyone to know that you belong to me?” She made a cute pouty face completely cute and different from her actions.

Her hands were hot across my breast warming up my hard nipples. Her mouth latched on to one of them sucking the hardened bud. She watched my reaction to see if was enjoying myself.

I was maybe even a little too much. “Your so sensitive Kobeni,” she laughed. I can’t say she wasn’t right my pussy was flowing and she hadn’t even got there yet.

But she was close now licking a trail down my stomach. “Your tongue Y/n?” Hmm, Kobeni?” She rose back up. “Never mind continue please!” It feels nice to see my sweet girl begging.”

“And your tongue feels nice on me so nice….” My mind wandered wondering what it would feel like in me. I didn’t have to wait long. She flicked the warm muscle around my clit a couple of times then dove in. I could feel my insides fluttering as she stuck it inside of me.

“Taste so good.” She mumbled making me blush heaver. I thought she was done adding more inside of me but she wasn’t she just kept going. My hands went to her hair grabbing tuffs of it.

I felt like I was spasming and she just put it inside of me. “Did you cum already beni?” No, but I-I’m close!” Very close.” Alright, then I’ll satisfy you.”

She pulled my legs closer so she can go deeper. Her slobber mixed with my juices covered her face. The focus in her eyes turned me on, even more, I couldn’t stop watching as her tongue moved in and out of me at an incredible rate.

“It’s so long ahh!” I moaned like a slut but I couldn’t help it when she was so deep. “Doing so we’ll for me Beni.” She squeezed my hand making sure I was okay.

And I understand why she did it I looked like a mess of makeup smeared, lips all red from being bitten, hands sore from grabbing too hard. But most embarrassing of all the sounds I was making.

The lewd dripping could be heard from anywhere. But at this point, I didn’t care. I was so close to orgasm to give a shit groaning deeply as she hit my G-spot over and over again. “FUCK!” I’m cumming. Oh god, I think I’m gonna….

Squirt. I squirted all over her face without warning. I let go of the harsh grip I held on her hair so She got up from laying.

“I’m so sorry Y/n!” That was hot I’m not complaining.” She wiped her face with a nearby towel. “Wanna go again,” she asked. “No, I already feel overstimulated.” You were way too good at that,” I laughed.

“Or maybe your just too sensitive Kobeni.” She spoke into my ear sending shivers up my spine. “See that’s what I’m talking about I saw you just now.” I turned around hugging her waist into mine.

“What’s your deal?” Nothing I just want to be close to you!” I can’t even touch you no more?” Sorry, it’s just that we haven’t seen each other in a while with your new job and all.”

“It pays well but maybe it’s not worth the danger.” You're right Y/n I was thinking of quitting there’s a new position at McDonald’s.” I should work there for the time being.”

“Whatever it takes to keep you safe,” she announced. We sat in a comfortable silence until I broke it. “You know I didn’t realize your tongue was that long.”

[luvfae]

Heyyyy lovely, I have something for your prompts!

25. friends with benefits but they catch feelings

&

29. Drunk love confession

Eddie x y/n - she is Dustin’s sister and they’ve secretly been seeing each other and they’re at a party with robin/Steve etc and y/n gets upset to see Eddie with someone else and ends up with both confessing loveeee and all fluffyyyy 😩❤️

Hope that’s ok, add or change bits to make it better I’m no writer!

❤️❤️

INTOXICATED

fandom: stranger things

parings: eddie x f henderson reader

warnings: swearing, tears, alcohol use, mention of drugs

note: since i already did 25 i’ll just do 29! hope that’s okay bby <3

29: drunk love confession

Eddie was your brothers friends and he was strictly off limits. Dustin had told you that months ago. But you never did have good listening skills. How could you when every time Eddie saw you he gave you those eyes?

You weren’t dating, in fact you had never even kissed. It was simply just flirting when Dustin wasn’t around. Holding hands in secret while the three of you watched a movie. Eddie giving you a goodbye hug without Dustin knowing before he left your house every single time. Sneaking him into your bedroom at ungodly hours of the night to smoke weed and cuddle.

But even though your feelings for each other weren’t out in the open you had always just assumed that you only had eyes for each other. Maybe you had gotten things mixed up because right now you were miserable and drunk at a party watching Eddie flirt with another girl.

Liquid confidence gave you the courage to finally stalk over to him after watching him and this girl you had never seen before for ten minutes.

“You are the biggest jerk I know,” you slurred, asserting yourself into the conversation. You turned to the girl. “Let me guess, he told you that you’re his soulmate? That God handcrafted you just for him?” You asked, repeating the words he had said to you almost a hundred times over.

The girl cleared her throat. “Uh… I think I should go,” she said before turning on her heel and walking off.

You glared up at Eddie and he stared down at you, confusion and concern in his eyes. “Are you drunk?” He asked.

“Why does that m-matter?” You replied, stumbling over your words slightly. “What matters is you cheating on me with that girl!”

“Cheating on you? Y/N, we aren’t together,” Eddie said.

Your bottom lip wobbled at his words. “You don’t want to be with me?” You asked, tears pricking your eyes.

“I never said that,” he sighed, taking your hands.

“Well I want to be with you,” you hiccuped. “I don’t care about what Dustin thinks! We’re the adults, not him,” you said, tears slipping down your cheeks. Eddie made quick work to wipe them from your face. “I love you, Eddie and I don’t want you flirting with other girls!”

“You love me?” He asked, a smile making its way to his face.

“Yes, I love you,” you said, your mouth moving faster than your brain, you hadn’t even registered what you had said to him yet. “You make me feel like the only girl in the world… but then you go and flirt with her! Why are you playing with my feelings?”

“Y/N, that girl is Gareth’s girlfriend,” Eddie said, his hands resting against your soft cheeks. “I’m not playing with your feelings, fuck, I love you too!” He exclaimed.

Your eyes softened, a smile making its way to your face. “You really mean that?” You asked.

“Of course I do,” Eddie said.

“Please be my boyfriend, Eddie,” you said, fingers gripping the collar of his shirt. Eddie laughed at you and your eyebrows knitted together. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“You’re adorable,” he said. You giggled, stumbling a little, Eddie was quick to stabilise you. “And drunk. Why don’t I take you home and we talk about this in the morning? And that way I can be the one to ask you out, yeah?”

“Okay,” you smiled, taking his hand. “Future boyfriend.”

Eddie grinned down at you before pushing his lips against yours.

© luvfae 2022

[pwarkluv]

❝ crush on you - l.mk ❞

lee mark x reader | fluff | 1.4k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, love at first sight au, mature language/cursing, westernartist!reader, mark is a shy bby, soft!mark, lowkey shy!reader bc lol, ANOTHER REQUEST YAY!!

REQUEST | “love your writing! do you mind taking a request of mine? it’s where mark sees a western artist at an award show or function and he has a crush on her and wants to get with her before nct goes back to korea… thank you” - anon <3

SUMMARY | his little heart has a crush on you :)

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “crush on you” by soul fro and dum di dum! IM SO EXCITED THIS IS ANOTHER REQUEST!! THANK YOU ANON ILY <3 hopefully this meets your expectations :) i actually don’t know how award shows in the states work even though i’m literally from america so this might be slightly inaccurate lol. anyways thank you for supporting me crappy writing ahfkjdh i love you <33

mark had no idea what it was about you that captured his fragile little heart. you, the tiny first time nominee at the ama’s.

nct 127 was once again nominated for an award at the western convention, the team touring around the area as well. the red carpet was flooded with cameras, flashes and intense yells for attention was the only thing mark could hear.

but the moment you started walking down the silk road, it was like all of the sound buzzed down to a silence.

❝ my heart has a little crush on you ❞

you were the only thing the boy could see.

your soft pink gown clashed with the intense red on the floor, the pretty floral print around the chest and waist of the dress all the more brought out your skin tone. your hair was left in pretty curls and mark could’ve sworn he saw a pink flower pin somewhere in there too.

the shy smile you let out the moment the paparazzi noticed you made mark’s heart race, hearing them ask you how you felt about your first ama’s since your debut.

so she’s a newbie, mark thought knowing that was the reason he’s never seen you before.

“how does it feel to be nominated for your first award?” a man asked, flashes all around you. your heart was racing with fear.

don’t fuck up now, you thought to yourself before smiling.

“if i’m being honest, i’m terrified.” you answered truthfully, watching as the group of people in front of you nodded in understanding. “but i’m super excited and grateful to be here, so the nerves don’t really matter.” you awkwardly continued as some cooed at your shyness.

“now i must say that’s a beautiful dress you have on.” a woman with a microphone said causing you to blush.

“ahh thank you!” you gushed, turning to her with warm cheeks. “i was scared it might be too much but my stylist insisted i wear it.”

“well you’re stunning.” the woman winked before a certain group of boys caught her eye. “good luck today y/n! hopefully this will be your first win.” she said before floating to the korean boys a couple feet away.

“thank you!” you called out, watching her go to the group of boys ahead of you.

curiosity struck you knowing you had no clue who they were. once you made it past the runway, you sneaked a look at the group only to have your breath taken away.

they were gorgeous, especially the one in the front.

his big brown doe eyes were shining under the lights and even though they were all wearing the same back suit and tie, this boy seemed to stand out to you.

❝ so immature but these butterflies they keep me laughing ❞

“hey lauren?” you nudge your manager. “who’s that?” you secretly point, not wanting to draw attention.

“oh that’s mark lee from nct 127. they’re the korean boy group that’s nominated for an award.” your manager replied.

she then pokes your sides as she smirks. “don’t tell me you have a thing for the canadian dude!” she says and you yelp from the impact.

“HE’S CANADIAN TOO?” you whispered-shouted to the girl, a little taken aback. so he’s handsome and most likely knows how to speak english?

“it’s always the damn canadians.” you grumbled under your breath as your manager laughed knowing this might be the start of something new.

-

“hyung remember that girl from the runway with the pink floral dress?” mark asks one of their managers. the man nods, a little confused by the question.

“how can you not?” the man jokes, mark nodding with a small smile.

“do you happen to know her name?” the boy asks as

his manager gives him a look. “where is this going mark?”

“no where i swear i just want to know who she is.” mark said, holding his hands up in surrender.

“hmm okay well i’m pretty sure her name is y/n.” his manager responds before being asked by another staff member for something.

“y/n.” mark said hazily, liking how your name sounds on his tongue.

-

mark was in love. there was no other way to describe this feeling. while waiting in their waiting rooms for the show to start, mark took the time to look up your music.

and god was he mad he didn’t know who you were before.

your songs were incredible and your voice held a certain fragility that made mark wanna give you a hug.

she better win, he thought to himself as they were ushered out of the waiting room and into the award show.

-

“oh my god oh my god oh my god.” you whispered to yourself as your heart raced. the award you were nominated in was about to be called and you wished you could hide in a hole and disappear from the crowd.

your manager sensed your nerves and squeezed your hand, silently letting you know she’d be there for you through anything. you softly smiled as you felt your nerves subside.

“and the winner is…” the man called out, purposefully slowing down a bit to create suspense.

mark knew this was the category you were nominated in, and the moment they were about to reveal the winner he held his breath.

please be y/n, he thought in his head as the announcer took another breath.

“y/n!” and if it wasn’t for his self-strength, mark could’ve sworn he would’ve jumped up in joy.

❝ my heart wrote a little song for you ❞

mark couldn’t keep his eyes off you throughout the entire award show. in fact, he was a little worried someone would notice because of how painfully obvious he was being.

but it’s not like you were any better. whenever mark would look away, you’d be looking at him.

“just talk to him.” your manager lauren complained, sick of the heart eyes you’d send to the boy.

so oblivious, she thought rolling her eyes. even she had seen the way he’d sneak glances at you as well.

“shhh.” you hushed her, looking around. it was nearing the end of the convention but you didn’t want to risk anyone over hearing her.

“i don’t know laur, he probably hasn’t even noticed me.” you quietly sighed feeling a bit down.

why would he? you’re just a newbie while he’s been in the industry for years.

“oh you’d be surprised.” the girl responded, shaking her head at your stupidity.

-

“are you y/n’s manager?” a man asked, stopping the woman. raising an eyebrow lauren motioned you too keep walking backstage to your dressing room.

how odd, you thought walking away.

“yes i am. why what’s going on.” lauren replied hesitantly.

the man let out a sigh of relief before continuing. “i’m one of the managers for nct 127 and let’s be honest,” he said letting the woman relax. she saw where this was heading.

“mark and y/n are head over heels for each other.” they both said at the same time.

“you noticed mark’s glances?” he asked in surprise.

“duh who wouldn’t?” she replied causing the man to laugh.

“y/n wouldn’t.” he said back causing them two to formulate a plan.

“y/n i have someone i’d like to introduce to you.” your manager said walking into your dressing room. you sat lazily on the couch still in your dress, your toes aching from being in those heels for hours.

“what’s up lauren?” you asked looking up from your phone.

“meet mark from nct 127.”

and just like that your heart jumped.

❝ won’t you take a listen ❞

the two of you stood awkwardly in front of each other not really knowing what to say. your managers had set you up, playing off the fact that they themselves have gotten along quite well and would like for their artists to meet.

“hey-“

“hi-“

you both started at the same time. you immediately flushed rushing to let him go first.

“uh you can go first.” you timidly responded.

“no you.” mark replied just as embarrassed.

“good grief just ask for each other’s numbers.” the two managers hollered in unison, cringing at the awkwardness in the air.

“y-you wanna get lunch sometime soon?” mark asked with sudden confidence.

❝ and dance with me to the rhythm ❞

you smiled causing him to smile back. “duh.”

[missmonsters2]

Courting Your Plus One

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader/OFC

Prompt: Can you pretend to be my partner for my friend’s wedding? I told them I’d have a plus one.

Note: Thank you for sending in bby 💘 We are here for a good time. @ludwigvonbaethoven​

Warnings: Y’all know you love this trope.

Genre: Fluff & humor 

Count: 5253

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Sometimes you imagine life (your life, specifically) being one big giant clusterfuck of a disaster.

Because you're not sure how else to explain how you got invited to your friend and your ex's wedding. 

Because, yes, they're fucking marrying each other. 

It honestly felt like you were being punched in the gut.

You would say your friendship with your friend is very complicated. It's based more on competition and envy than anything.

And not to brag, but you've pretty much have outdone for your friend in every aspect of life effortlessly.

Except you lost the girl.

Or more accurately, she left you.

Because you made it very clear to both of them that the people you date are not a prize to be won, and you don't chase people.

That being said, maybe if you went to therapy while in your childhood, you would grow up to be a well-adjusted adult who didn't believe that in a breakup, there's always a winner and a loser.

And by God, you refuse to be the loser in this breakup. 

"Yes, I'm really bringing a plus one," you tell your friend. After skillfully avoiding any questions that would require you to disclose any details of this 'plus one,' you needed to actually find a plus one.

But this was more than just a plus one.

You needed to find someone who was hotter and better than your ex in every way. 

"I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or insulted."

"Neither, Nat. Please just do me this favor, so I'm not humiliated twice by the two of them," you beg.

"Hasn't it been 4 months now? I doubt they will antagonize you since they've seemed to move on and all," Natasha looks at you with a brow raised. Natasha isn't a stranger to these two, but she's not really sure she's up to go along with this insane idea.

And despite the biting words, you show Natasha a text you received just hours after opening the wedding invitation.

Hey, with the history and all, we totally understand if you don't want to come to celebrate our wedding.

"Wow," Natasha whistles.

"Yes," you agree, putting your phone away.

"They really said that," Natasha comments while nodding her head and pursing her lips.

"They did, so please pretend to my girlfriend and attend this wedding with me. I don't want to rub it in their face, but I refuse to be alone."

"I just want to point out you actually have nothing to rub in their face."

"Nat."

She sighs.

"Fine," she grumbles, "I'll go, mostly for the free meal and drinks I'm going to get out of this, but you owe me big time for this."

You sigh in relief, the stress partially leaving you. You're thankful to have a friend like Natasha. You were friends throughout university and even were roommates for a while. Granted, you didn't get to see each other often now with the fact she travels a lot for work, but it seems like she's finally settling in the city for a while.

"So, what day is it?" Natasha asks while sipping her coffee, swinging her legs.

"So...it's out of town, and it's two days and one night," you smile sheepishly.

"For fuck sakes."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The wedding comes faster than you're ready for, and you've got the jitters as you adjust your one-piece jumpsuit.

Natasha picks you up, looking glorious in her dress, and for a second, your nerves calm as you take a deep breath.

"You look beautiful," you compliment to Natasha who merely smirks. 

"Nervous?" Natasha asks as she pulls out of your driveway and heads to the airport with no rush.

"I don't know if I would call it nervous as more of I really hope there are no incidents," you huff, 

"Hopefully, this will all go smoothly, and we just eat and drink ourselves into oblivion."

"What about dancing?" Natasha asks.

"For the sake of your feet, we 

better not," you half-joke.

Natasha lets out a burst of laughter, and you lick your lips at the sound. 

"So? What's the plan?" Natasha looks over to you briefly before turning her eyes back on the road.

"Plan?" You hum.

Natasha looks back with a raise of her brow at you.

"What? You just want to wing it when people inevitably ask us how we met and started dating?"

"Honestly, this is already stressful enough, I would prefer to not lie more than we have to. I've seen enough movies to know that's how you get fucked later. Everyone knows we've been friends forever. Let's just say we developed feelings, and then I asked you out."

"What if I want to be the one who asked you out?" Natasha frowns.

"Then you can be the one who asked me out...?"

"No, it's okay. I would rather you ask me out."

"Natasha, I'll fucking strangle you," you huff.

"Not my kink," Natasha then looks at you and smirks, "...Well."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You're trying to not seem twitchy when your plane arrives in Hawaii, and you head straight to the venue. 

Other guests have started to pour in, but you don't see the couple of the hour.

Natasha slides her hand into yours easily, and you're having a fleeting thought about how your hands fit together well. Her hand is soft, a little cold, but you don't mind because your hands are too warm.

"Relax," she whispers, and you nod.

You're thankful that they decided to have the ceremony and the reception right after, both at the same venue. You can't imagine trying to stretch this entire day out.

You grab champagne glasses and pass one to Natasha, who hums in thanks.

A couple people come up to say hi to you and fawn over how beautiful Natasha is and how you met. It's going well so far. Thankfully, no one has actually asked about how you're feeling about this entire wedding, or how brave (or stupid) you are to come. 

At least to your face. 

You already know people are whispering behind your back.

You take your seat with Natasha, and the second you hear the songs playing, you have to resist the urge to roll your eyes so fucking far back into your head because it's literally the same playlist you shared with your ex when you were dating her. 

This has to be some new level of pettiness, right?

Natasha seems to recognize the songs right away. After all, she had been the one to listen to it first to give her opinion before you sent it to your ex. She looks over at you and places her hand on top.

The touch grabs you out of your thoughts as you turn to look at her for a moment. You're reminded to take a deep breath as you turn your hand over to lace your fingers together.

You wish you were a little drunker when the bride comes out, and they say their vows, but your motto is that it could always be worse. 

You hear Natasha clear her throat, and you look at her curiously.

She's grinning at you mischievously, and then your phone buzzes.

Nat: Let's play a game. Every time she looks at you, you owe me a dance. Every time he looks at you, I'll buy you coffee when we're back.

You: Why? Because you don't want to be able to walk anymore?

Nat rolls her eyes at you, unable to hide the small smile on her lips.

Nat: Surely you can't be worse than when we were in university.

You: Debatable, but I'll play along. It's your toes.

Putting your phone away, Natasha smirks at you as you turn your head up to face the front.

It's easier to drown out the officiant and the couple's vows when you're trying to focus and keep count of how many times the couple looks at you.

By the time they kiss, Natasha's got you beat by 7 looks.  

And in total, you owe her 62 dances.

"Alright, if we just continue to dance for about 3 hours straight, I'll have paid my debt," you say, causing Natasha to laugh.

It's probably improbable you'll be able to give Natasha 62 dances, even if it's over the course of two days, but you're just happy you got through the ceremony. 

You move into the resort, snacking on hors-d'œuvre and wine while you chat with Natasha.

"I have to give it to them, the food is good. And, it's an open bar, nothing can beat that," Natasha says as she's already on her third glass of wine. 

"Your standards for a wedding is incredibly low," you shake your head at her, even if you do agree the food is not bad.

"Are you offering to show me better? What? Do you need a fake wife now?" Natasha teases you.

"Oh, would you be a dear and marry me then?" You blink innocently at her before grabbing her hand, "C'mon, I think the officiant might still be here."

You tug her hand a little, but Natasha tugs back to keep you in place.

"Alright, funny face, that's enough. If you think you can marry me after three glasses of wine...you are absolutely right, let's go," Natasha tugs you this time, and you let out a burst of laughter before tugging her hand back.

And then you see from the corner of your eye the newlyweds coming up to you, and you wait with bated breath.

"Wow, it's so good to see you, you look good," the bride comes in to swoop you into a hug, and you're almost taken aback at the familiar smell of honey and peaches.

"Hey, Vanessa," you breathe out, forcing a smile, "Congratulations, you look beautiful."

Vanessa laughs, clinging onto you a little too long when the groom sweeps him.

"Derek," you greet, "congratulations."

You don't say anything more because the second you look at them together, you're reminded that he went after her while you were still dating and that she did leave you for him.

He smiles at you, a little smug, as he shakes your hand and pulls you in to slap you on your back for a greeting.

"Thanks!" He enthusiastically says, "So, you brought Natasha. Why didn't you just say so over the phone?"

Derek goes into hug Natasha, who gives him a light smile and a weak hug in return.

"Thought it'd be a nice surprise," you reply, wrapping your arm around Natasha's waist as she settles into your side.

"Natasha, huh," Vanessa eyes the redhead in your arm. "How long?"

Okay, so maybe Natasha was a sore spot when you were dating Vanessa. She always complained about how you spent too much time with Natasha, even when she wasn't living in the city.

You're too lost in that Natasha has to be the one to answer.

"Well, it's pretty new, actually. As you know, we spend a lot of time together, and I don't know. The timing seemed just right that she confessed to me, it was really romantic," Natasha says, turning to look at you with a soft smile you're not sure you've ever seen on her.

You also noticed the biting mark about how you spend a lot of time together because Vanessa smiles contritely at the comment.

"That's great," Vanessa says offhandedly while she grabs her husband's hand. "Well, we gotta keep making rounds, but we'll catch up with you later."

With a little wave, the couple flitters off, and you feel like you can let out a sigh of relief.

"I always forget how wonderful of an actress you are," you turn to Natasha, your hand still on her waist as you smile thankfully at her.

"Yeah, imagine all the practice I got scaring off your one night stands in university," Natasha retorts back at you, and you look to the side, pretending you didn't hear that as Natasha laughs and slaps you playfully.

"C'mon, let's find the other food and refill your glass," You smile as you pull her along. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You leave your fake girlfriend for not even two minutes to find her the stupid hors-d'œuvre that had bacon wrapped around something.

You come back to find some dude hovering over your girlfriend like he's a fucking vulture.

It reminds you of back in university when you'd be studying in the library with Natasha, just enjoying the quiet time together with the occasional banter. 

And then some stupid jock, or someone from the student council, or whoever Natasha was dating at the time would come and interrupt. 

You stalk up to the two, catching the end sentence about how the guy has a yacht he would love to take Natasha on.

 "Hey," you interrupt, a fake smile on your face, "Sorry it took so long, I basically had to fight another woman for these, so you should probably eat them all now before she finds us."

Natasha laughs, giving you a smile as she beings to eat the appetizers.

"Who's this?" You ask, looking over at the guy.

Natasha looks over at the gentleman, blinking as she had definitely forgotten his name.

"Lentle?" She said, her tone rising at the end at the apparent guess.

"Leonard," he introduces himself with an unoffended smile.

"Well, Lentle, thanks for keeping my girlfriend company," you smile with a nod, and the guy gets the clear sign and books it out of there.

You turn to Natasha.

"I leave you for not even two minutes, and you've got yacht offers," you tease her.

"I know, so lame, right?" Natasha licks her lips. "Yacht offers were only cool in university."

"And what? You've traded in yacht offers for dances that will end in your toes being broken? I think you've got it backwards, sweetheart."

Natasha laughs as she finishes the last bacon appetizer. 

"Oh, you don't know how priceless your dancing is."

"Just for that, I'm taking three dances off my debt," you stick your tongue out at her while Natasha rolls her eyes playfully.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

This was only asking for trouble.

Natasha knew that.

She's not entirely unused to it. Living in a dorm with you while in university gave her plenty of opportunities where she had to pretend to be your scandalized girlfriend to scare off your one night stands.

But you were never there when those girls came knocking at the door.

She never had to hold your hand, gaze lovingly at you, potentially have to kiss you.

Natasha had been very careful throughout the entire time she had known you. She never made sure to cross any lines that she couldn't come back from.

Especially when you've had too many drinks and had a bad habit of kissing whoever might be too close to you back in the day.

It was necessary for Natasha to survive. 

Because she was in love with you.

And she still is.

But you had never indicated to her that you were interested in her in any other way than a friend. And so, she settled into a good place where she could be just your friend.

But this was threatening all of that. Natasha knew she should've said no when you came to her with this odd request, but you had looked so desperate and beat up that Natasha couldn't say no. 

When you were dating Vanessa, that was probably the worst time in Natasha's life. You were so obviously enamored with Vanessa, even if you did not admit it. 

Natasha had to deal with all the same intricacies of you dating her. Like helping you with the first date, listen to the playlist you made her and had to listen to you talk about Vanessa.

Nevermind when Vanessa left you for Derek. 

That might've tested Natasha's limit to the edge.

Now, she was standing with you at the bar, grabbing drinks as you held her hand, swinging it back and forth with a smile.

The dinner reception would be soon as the catering team started setting the tables and bringing food out.

"Does swinging our hands back and forth count as a dance?" You ask, and Natasha rolls her eyes over to you.

"Don't think you can escape a single dance," Natasha tells you, and you sigh dramatically.

Natasha can see Vanessa occasionally looking your way, and Natasha has to tell herself that being in your personal bubble, and brushing your hair behind your ear is justified now.

She can do those things.

Even if it's fake.

The reception is more boring than Natasha would like. Just people sharing toasts about how wonderful Derek is, and how in love they are. Natasha puts a lot of effort into distracting you.

And when the dinner comes to an end, the dancing begins. 

The couple shares their first dance together, and also dance with their parents.

The sun is setting, and when the floor opens up, Natasha is immediately dragging you onto the dance floor.

Your hand easily settles on the dip of her back as you pull her close, your other hand delicately encasing hers as you gaze in Natasha's eyes.

"This is a pretty good start," Natasha quirks her lips, "I remember the first time I tried to teach you how to dance, you look down the entire time at our feet."

"Yes, you're welcome for not crippling your toes at that time," You smile back. 

The slow music starts, and you begin to lead Natasha into a simple slow foxtrot.

"Hey, no broken toes," Natasha teases you, and you roll your eyes.

"Don't jinx it now," You try not to look down out of habit. Sure, over the years, you've gotten better at dancing, but it still wasn't your favorite activity. You still turn it down if given a chance.

After an hour into dancing, taking the occasional break in between, you need a break.

"Nat," You huff, "I don't think I'll be able to complete 62 dances with you. Can we convert dances into something else? How about drinks? I can get you drinks."

Natasha starts chuckling, "We'll see. I feel like you still have some dance left in you. C'mon, this is such a classic dance song."

Guests around you are wasted as they sway around on the dance floor. Derek has his tie around his head as he's goofing around with his buddies.

The dance is different this time. Natasha pulls you close, flush against her, and you're not sure if it's all the drinks you've had, but it feels different.

Her hands settle around your neck, her leg slightly in between your own.

And then she grinds to the beat of the music.

The feeling makes your breath hitch initially, and you see Natasha smirk subtly. Your hands automatically fly to her hips as you match her rhythm. 

Natasha's face is close. Close enough that you can feel her breath on your lips. 

You swallow. 

Somewhere in your mind, you're trying to remind yourself that Natasha is a friend. 

She's always been.

But tonight, you feel like she might cross a line that you didn't know existed between you two.

As quick as a fleeting thought to Kiss Natasha comes, she spins in your arms, back pressed against your front as she continues to sway and grind. 

Your hand slide over her stomach, and you're not sure what's happening. 

The song slowly comes to an end, going into a slow dance song, and you have a fleeting thought the DJ sucks.

Natasha turns back around, looking at you, and she's leaning in, and your heart is thudding, and you think the air is leaving your lungs, and--

"Hey."

The voice interrupts the two of you, and it's like whatever magic was happening, the spell broke.

You look over to see Vanessa standing between you too with a hand on your shoulder.

"Mind if I steal you for a dance?"

"She's kind of busy dancing with me right now," Natasha smiles, but you've seen that type of cold smile before.

"Well," Vanessa's eyes turn to Natasha, "I'm the bride, and it's my day, I think you can survive a dance without her."

Natasha looks like she wants to say something else, but you put your hand on her arm and give her a smile to show her it's okay.

Natasha wants to roll her fucking eyes at how smug Vanessa looks, but walks off to the bar.

She really needs a drink.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You pull Vanessa into an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you as you lead her into a dance.

"You're quite open to dancing tonight," Vanessa comments, knowing in the past you seldom danced with her.

You shrug, "I've already had about 18 dances with Natasha. Plus, it is your wedding day."

"I'm surprised you actually came," Vanessa twirls in your arm, coming back just an inch closer than before.

"Why wouldn't I?" You challenge.

The dance is cut short with Vanessa stilling, sighing as she pulls you out of the venue and down to the beach, standing in the warm sand.

"Why do you always do that?" Vanessa says, crossing her arms.

"Do what?" You reply.

"You know exactly why I'm surprised you came. Did I really mean nothing to you? Why would you even come here? And especially with Natasha," Vanessa is frowning, and her brows furrow the exact way you remember them when she's upset.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

"I'm not doing this with you, Vanessa," you tell her slowly, "it's your wedding day."

You turn to leave, but Vanessa pulls you back, colliding her lips against yours.

The feel of her lips is entirely too familiar.

Too raw. 

You put your hands on her shoulder, pushing her back.

"What the hell, Ness!" You yell at her as your brows burrow in anger.

"You didn't come back for me!" Vanessa yells back at you. You look around, glad that you're far from the venue, so no one can hear you.

You turn your head back to your ex.

"You left me, remember?" You hiss quietly.

"You weren't paying attention to me," Vanessa quiets herself as well, grabbing on your dress jacket.

"I thought that if I went to Derek, you were going to fight for me, but you didn't," She admits.

You sigh, "Vanessa, I told you right from the beginning that I don't chase people. If you felt that I wasn't giving you enough attention, you should've just told me. You leaving me for Derek is not going to make me fight for you. Of all the things I will compete with Derek for, women are not one of them."

"But you do chase people," Vanessa retorts bitterly, "you're always chasing Natasha."

Your brows scrunch together.

"What?"

Vanessa rolls her eyes as if she thinks you're just playing dumb.

"Every time Natasha needed something, you dropped everything to go help her. Do you even remember my birthday? You left midway because Natasha called and said she was stuck on the highway."

"You said you were okay with it. If you weren't, you should've said so!" You argue with her.

"I shouldn't have to tell you that I obviously wouldn't be okay with that! For christ's sake, you hate dancing and you just danced 18 times with Natasha!"

You pinch the bridge of your nose, a minor headache from having this conversation.

"Regardless," you finally say, "whatever has happened, it's in the past now. You're married now. You said, 'I do,' to him. What do you want from me now?"

Vanessa takes a step forward, grabbing onto the edge of your sleeves again.

"I--I just want to know that I matter to you, that you still love me," Vanessa says softly, and she's leaning up on her tippy toes, getting closer to your face.

You're frozen.

Not sure why the hell this is happening to you.

But before you can push her away again, Vanessa is pushed back by someone else.

Natasha is standing there, furious as her eyes are set ablaze.

"I'll appreciate it if you keep your hands and lips off my girlfriend," Natasha grits out.

Vanessa rolls her eyes at Natasha, before looking at you, "I know you're not really dating her. If you wanted to make me jealous by bringing Natasha, then fine. I'm jealous, but you don't need to keep up the charade."

"Er--I'm not--We really are--why would you think that?" You start to stutter before asking.

"Natasha may have always been in love with you, but if you liked Natasha, you would've left me for her long ago. You're telling me throughout all the years of your friendship, you never thought about dating her earlier? I don't buy it," Vanessa squints.

"What does it matter to you? You're married," Natasha deadpans.

"And I can get a divorce if I want to," Vanessa fires back. 

Something seems to stem inside Natasha. A hot, burning, possessive feeling boils in her because she has a taste of having you hers, even if it's pretending.

And something just possesses Natasha as she pulls you close, wrapping her arm around your neck as she meets your lips with fervor. 

The taste of Natasha hits you different.

She tastes like vodka and pineapples, and you find yourself quickly returning her kiss. Your hands grab her waist, pulling flush against you, and your mind wanders to her grinding on you earlier. 

Has Natasha always felt this soft? Were her lips suppose to slide against yours so perfectly?

And then everything Vanessa said just hits you. You don’t chase people, but you’ll chase after Natasha. 

You always have. 

You hate dancing, but you’ve never turned down a dance with Natasha. 

You’re jealous, you’ve been jealous. It takes a lot to just barely temper the desire to possess.

Natasha was the first person you thought of for everything.

God, have you been an idiot? 

You distantly hear a huff in the background and footsteps stomping off.

You aren't sure how long you're kissing until Natasha pulls back.

She stares at you, and something just snaps.

"I can't do this," Natasha says, turning around and walking further onto the beach.

Natasha briskly walks along the shore, cursing herself. The kiss was amazing.

Everything and more than Natasha dreamed it would be.

But deep down, she knew that you didn't feel that way about her.

And now she had this blessing and curse to remember this kiss for the rest of her life.

"Hey!" A sudden arm grabs onto Natasha's wrist, and she turns around to see you panting as you chased after her.

"You know," you pant, "I'm beginning to think Vanessa was right."

Natasha immediately shirks at you as you stand up straight, sliding your hand down until you grasp her fingers.

"I don't chase people, but I chase always after you," you pull Natasha closer, and she looks alarmed.

"What are you say--"

"Is it true? Have you always been in love with me?" You cut her off.

Natasha is silent, face impassive as she always does when she feels vulnerable. 

But you always knew the answer when she did that.

"Why didn't you say anything?" You ask softly only for Natasha to scoff.

"Why would I? We're great friends, I'm aware of that. You've never indicated to me that you felt anything more for me," Natasha looks out onto the ocean.

You're not really what to say at first because it's true. Throughout your years of friendship, it never really crossed your mind that Natasha could be more to you. 

But not for the reason she thinks. 

"You know," you start, drawing her attention back to you, "When I first met you, you were like, the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen in my life, the statement still standing true to today."

Natasha feels her cheeks warm at the soft way you're saying it.

"Then I got to you know, and you were funny, charming, very sarcastic, ambitious, and god, all these amazing things," you sigh, unable to really convey how Natasha is.

"You dated all these guys--and girls--in university. You dated the student president, the student from abroad who literally sounded like James Bond, and even the girl who was in theatre major who is now like a famous broadway actress now or something," you recall all of Natasha's suitors in university.

You laugh, "And don't even get me started on the people after university. I still get Facebook messages from that CEO who tried to give you his company."

Natasha is listening to ramble, but honestly, she doesn't remember any of these people. 

Because in university, she was busy taking the scenic route to her class so she could bump into you more. Natasha was occupied with taking non-related classes for her general studies requirements with you. And she was really too busy watching go from fling to fling, wishing that for once, you would just look at her.

"What does that have anything to do with you?" Natasha asks.

"Nothing," you reply, shrugging your shoulders, "Which is exactly the point. While I was busy with one night stands, you were long term dating other people. How can you expect me to even think that you might've been interested in me? How could I let myself want to be more to you?"

And Natasha was extremely aware of it. There were so many moments, too many to even count, where Natasha would be internally screaming for you to look at her, see the truth that she was in love with you, all while refusing to make it known that she was even an option for you.

But Natasha doesn't know where to go from here. 

She's still in the same place she started with you.

Natasha feels you tugging on her hand, pulling her closer while you cup her jaw.

"So, I'm going to ask you again. Have you always been in love with me?" You hover over her face, breath on her lips.

"You know what? Nevermind, I'll find the answer myself," You say before you swoop in capture Natasha's lips.

The second kiss is entirely different from the first, and Natasha is completely helpless for the first time with you. Your lips are velvety soft, delicate like a feather. 

And it's hard to Natasha to process the fact that you're kissing her, she's convinced that your lips have changed her very existence and she'll never be the same. 

And when you pull back, you rest your forehead against Natasha's.

"Is it okay for me to say that I've been really blind and that we've got it all backward, but the timing is actually right, and I'd like to take my fake girlfriend on a date tomorrow morning so she can become my real girlfriend?"

And Natasha just chokes on a laugh because she's pretty sure she stepped on a rock, and it hurts, but it's the only thing that tells her she's not dreaming as you pull her into a hug.

“You’re such an idiot,” Natasha mumbles.

"Just one thing," you say, playing against the back of Natasha's neck. 

"What?" Natasha pauses.

"Can we convert dances to kisses?" 

And Natasha laughs, wrapping her arms around you as her head rests against your shoulder.

"I'm open to the idea," she smiles. "So, what about the wedding brunch tomorrow?"

"Oh, fuck the brunch."

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

[themetaphorgirl]

Prompt: Emily gets drunk and comes back to the school and she voices her love for all of them and won’t stop hugging bby Reid. Can u imagine the CUTENESS. I cry your au makes me so happy

so I LOVE this prompt. and also my darling @criminalmindsgonewrong needed something fun with Emily. So I hope you like this!!

featuring Hotch’s secret weakness, children learning profanity and Alex’s “I mean business” ponytail

----------

“Hey, guys?” Dave called up the stairs. “I just want everyone to know that none of this is my fault. In fact, I should be considered a hero.”

Hotch, James, and Alex raised their heads slowly from their respective homework. “What the fuck is happening?” James whispered.

“Language,” Hotch whispered, nodding towards the younger kids piled in front of the TV.

“I say ‘fuck’ all the time, Hotch,” Derek said, only half paying attention.

Something heavy thumped on the stairs and a high pitched giggle floated up. Alex closed her Russian dictionary. “If Rossi is bringing another new girlfriend in here, I swear to god…”

Emily stumbled to the top of the stairs and flung her arms in the air like a gymnast landing a vault. “I made it!” she cheered.

Dave climbed up behind her. “Listen, I only lost her for like two seconds,” he said. 

“Oh, no,” James said. “You didn’t.”

“Did what?” JJ asked.

“Yeah, did what?” Penelope echoed. 

Emily grinned. “We went to a party!” she said. “And there was a tequila!”

Hotch slowly turned to glare at Dave. “It’s a school night, and you took Emily to a party?” he asked.

Dave shrugged helplessly. “She was very persuasive,” he said. 

“Very, very persuasive,” Emily nodded.

Alex rested her chin in her hand. “She told you a certain girl was going to be there, didn’t she?” she said.

“I’m very persuasive,” Emily repeated. She threw her arms around Alex’s neck. “Lemme...lemme braid your hair.”

“No, no, not this time,” Alex said, peeling her hands away. “Oh, I’m not excited about sharing a room with you tonight once this starts to wear off..” 

Emily smiled dreamily and raked her fingers through Alex’s hair. “It’s so red,” she mumbled. Alex sighed and dropped her chin in her hand again. 

Penelope and JJ leaned over the back of the couch to watch. “Do you think she’ll throw up this time?” Penelope asked.

“Oh, absolutely,” JJ said. “At least twice.”

Spencer looked up from his book. “Make her drink V8 again, that worked last time,” he said.

“Emily, we’ve been over this,” Hotch said. “You can get in serious trouble if you’re caught drunk on campus.”

“Oh, shit, no,” she whined. She fumbled in her pockets. “I can...I got…”

“Don’t show me your credit cards again.”

“My credit cards!” she said, waving her wallet at him. “I’ll...I can...yeah, I’ll give ‘em money and it’ll be fine.”

“No, it won’t be,” Hotch said patiently. 

Emily scowled and stumbled over to him. “Mr. Hotchner,” she said. “Mr. Hotchner, you gotta...why don’t you fuckin’ smile, dude?”

Derek burst out laughing; she whipped around and shook her finger at him. “This is a serious question!” she said. “I...I know you can smile.”

Hotch grimaced at her. “There,” he said. “Now can you please pour yourself back into your dorm room and sleep this off?” 

Emily frowned, plunking down on his lap. “You need to smile,” she said. She grabbed at his face and pulled at his cheeks. “It’s...it’s in there somewhere.”

“Emily, please,” Hotch said, pained, as her thumb came perilously close to jabbing up his nose.

“No, keep going, I wanna see what happens,” Penelope said.

Emily’s frown deepened. “Why won’t you smile?” she demanded.

“See if you can initiate gargalesis,” Spencer suggested.

“The fuck you say to me, nerd baby?” Emily said.

Spencer scowled. “Tickle him.”

Emily brightened. James immediately got up, gathering his homework. “This is going to end horribly,” he said. “Oh god. Oh, god.”

“He’s not smiling!” Emily said, digging her fingers in Hotch’s sides.

Hotch pressed his mouth together, firmly stoic. “Stop trying to tickle me,” he said. “You need to sober up, and I’m not ticklish, so-”

“Don’t ask me how I know this. Back of the knees,” Alex said.

Hotch’s mouth dropped open. “How did you-” he started to say, but Emily lunged for his knees, and he burst out laughing, trying to wrestle her off his lap. “God! Emily! Stop! Stop, you got me to smile, okay, I’m smiling!”

She tumbled to the floor and scrambled to her feet unsteadily, screeching with laughter. “I did it!” she said. “Aha! I knew you could...could fuckin’ smile.”

Penelope held up her phone. “I can’t wait to show this to her tomorrow,” she said. 

Emily staggered over to her. “You are so cute,” she said. She dropped her hands on JJ and Penelope’s head. “Two just...cute little princesses.”

“Oh, she’s really gone this time,” JJ said. She gently pried Emily’s hand off her head. “Emily, you should take it easy.”

“I can get you some snacks,” Penelope offered as Emily tangled her hand in her hair, giggling as the pompoms tied to her ponytail bounced. “Some nice saltines, maybe? A piece of dry bread? Something to soak up the alcohol in your bloodstream.”

“Hey, she hasn’t called me ‘cute’ yet, that’s how we’ll know she’s real bad,” Derek said.

Emily let go of Penelope’s hair. “But you are cute,” she said. “So...so fucking cute. You guys are all just...fucking babies and I love...all of you.”

“I’m only a year younger than you,” Derek said dryly. “Spencer’s the baby.”

“Hey!” Spencer protested. “I’m very mature for my age!”

Emily stumbled over to him, leaning over the side of the couch, and swooped him up in a snuggle. “You are a baby!” she said. “Just the babyest...fuckin’ baby.”

“You smell like hand sanitizer,” Spencer complained, squirming in her grip as she smacked kisses on his cheeks. “And I’m not a baby! Guys! C’mon, help me!”

“I’m not taking the risk,” Hotch said flatly. “Now that someone decided to blab.” Alex shrugged.

“Derek!” Spencer said, trying to wriggle away from Emily’s octopus-like hug.

“Nah, man, I’m not gonna take the risk either,” Derek said.

“Ooh! Try to initiate...gargling. Gargantuan. Gar...what was it again?” Penelope said.

Spencer scrunched up his face. “Gargalesis?” he said. Emily grinned and started tickling his ribs. “Noooo! Emily, no, stop tickling me!” He shrieked with laughter, kicking his legs at her and in an attempt to twist free. 

“Emily, stop torturing Spencer, he’s going to pee himself,” JJ said.

“No, I won’t!”

“Emily, you gotta stop, he has to breathe.”

“What?” Emily said, momentarily distracted, and Spencer tumbled off the couch and beelined to the table to duck behind Hotch and Alex. 

“Emily, you’ve got to chill,” Dave said. “We don’t want a repeat of what happened after homecoming.”

“What happened at homecoming?” Hotch asked, eyes narrowing as Spencer climbed onto his lap.

“Nothing,” Dave said quickly. Emily scowled and started scolding him in Italian; he shot back, waving his hands.

“What’s happening?” Derek asked. “What are we missing?”

“Profanity, mostly,” Alex said.

“Yeah, and you guys didn’t want me to learn how to say ‘fuck’,” Spencer said. Hotch covered his ears. 

Emily halted midsentence, holding out her hands. “Wait...wait…” she said.

JJ drew back. “Oh, she’s gonna hurl,” she said.

“False alarm,” Emily said. “We’re good. We’re good, everybody.”

Alex got up from the table and tied her hair back into a ponytail, snapping the elastic with resigned determination. “All right, Prentiss, say goodnight to everybody,” she said. “We’re going back to our dorm, and you’re going to sober up.”

Emily pouted and whined in Italian; Alex rattled something back and Emily sighed heavily. “Okay, okay, take me away,” she said. “Bye, everybody, love you.”

“Bye, Emily,” they chorused.

They didn’t see her again until breakfast the next morning; Emily sat with her head down on the table and a glass of tomato juice at her elbow. “So I take it things went well?” Dave said.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Alex said. “Miss Prentiss over here…”

“Shut up,” Emily mumbled into her folded arms. “Shut up, shut up, shut up…”

“Have we learned an important lesson?” Hotch asked.

Emily raised her head. Her eyes were still smeared with last night’s makeup. “That your ticklish spot is under your knees?” she said. 

Hotch’s ears turned red. “No, hopefully you learned a lesson about getting drunk on a school night,” he said. “Or, better yet, you’ve learned to not get drunk because you’re underage and it’s bad for your health.”

“Aw, come on, chief,” she said. She mimed finger guns at him. “Gimme a week, I’ll forget all about this.”

“Oh! I can help with that,” Penelope said. She handed her phone to Derek, who passed it to JJ, who propped it up in front of Emily. “Here’s the video! Maybe this will help remind you.”

Emily went pale. “Oh, cazzo,” she mumbled.

“That basically means ‘fuck’!” Spencer announced.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Freddie’s 40th birthday; Freddie Mercury x reader

*Author’s note*

In honor of the legend’s 74th birthday, as apart of my Rock Angel series, I have written up this little filler chapter centered around Freddie’s birthday. It’s unbelievable that had he lived today, we would’ve been celebrating his 74th bday. But as it is said in the Sandlot ‘Heroes get remembered, but legends never die’. Happy birthday Freddie Mercury, wherever you are, know that you are loved and are continued to be loved by generations of people that are just getting to know you or people that have followed/known you when you were alive.

Enjoy my lovelies and until the next update :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@platawnic​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@klausidiot​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@naturalswifty89​

@starswin​

@dj-lowkey​

@isabella-bby​

@bohemiansweede​

@5sos-wdw​

@labessieisallama​

____________________________________________________________

*Sept. 7th, 1986*

I was looking myself over in the mirror seeing how my cowgirl hat looked.  It wasn’t anything fancy just a simple leather khaki hat that belonged to mum who gave it to me just for this party.  I brushed the ends of my hair before Jack came in wearing his Indiana Jones hat.

“Look at you my little cowgirl.”

“Now don’t you dare say something naughty or else you’re going to get it.” Jack faked a gasp.

“How dare you suggest I’d say such a thing.”

“Please Jack. You may look all sweet and innocent but even you can go Freddie Mercury dirty. Or worse Deacy leveled of rottenness.”

“Never did I think he could think such thoughts.”

“You do realize that his first song Misfire was all about pre-ejaculation right?”

“Okay subject change please!” I shoved him and said.

“You started it.”

“Nu-uh!”

“Oh shut it you. Now remind me again why you didn’t want to wear a cowboy hat?”

“You know what those hats do to me. Plus….” He stroked the rim of his Indie hat, “this makes me look cooler.” His brow quirked as he smirked in the mirror trying to be sexy (which he was but I’ll never admit that out loud).

“But then we could’ve been a matching set at the party. Fred would’ve been all gushed up about it.”

“You know this day is about him right?”

“Correction two days ago was all about him. This is his birthday party. Thankfully it won’t be as crazy as last years. Yeesh. I still don’t remember how Roger and I ended up in that closet together.”

“Let alone with your shirt over his face.”

“Oh god yeah that—most awkward thing ever. But I think I recall saying something like ‘it’s too hot in this hellhole for me!’ Or some random thing like that. At least that’s what Deacy said he heard. God we had sooo much tequila that night. Never again.”  He chuckled and wrapped his arm around me and pecked my cheek.

“Yeah cause I wouldn’t want to think that my wife was screwing around with her father figure.”

“EWW! Now that is something I know that not even drunk me would do. Why put that image into my brain oh god JACK!!!” he laughed as I began hitting his arm.  

“Ow! Okay! Okay I’m sorry!”

“You better be. Now what time is it?”

“6:40.”

“Shit we better get going!” I grabbed his hand and we took off out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

In the living room our sitter Derek aka ‘Dancing man’ Anderson, who was also one of my roadies on tour, was already feeding our daughter.

“Okay Derek, we’re heading out. Again thank you soo much for volunteering to babysit for me. Normally I wouldn’t ask you to do this much…….”

“Relax (Y/n). I’ve had 3 kids so I know how this works. Thankfully I was in the neighborhood. Plus I get the chance to see the kid before the rest of the roadies do.” I shook my head at him.

Derek had been one of my first roadies ever since I became the Rock Angel.  He was about the same age as Roger was and if I’m being honest, he’s kinda like Roger in a way.  In fact if I remember correctly it was Roger’s roadie Crystal that recommended Derek to me.  He’s great with electronics and lighting and he’s basically the ringleader since he’s the only one of my original team that has stuck with me for the past five years.

“Okay so her bottles are in the fridge and I’ve laid out instructions on how to warm them up. Her bedtime is in two hours, and her favorite story is ‘Oh the places you’ll go’. And ohh I know I’m forgetting something.”

“Angel, relax. I’ve got this. Jack gave me the full rundown about an hour ago while you were deciding on your hat. Give my birthday regards to Fred.”

“We will. Thanks again Derek.” Jack said as the two of them shook hands with each other.

“No prob, you two kids have fun. And don’t worry mini Angel will be safe and sound.”

“Alright, bye baby girl. Mummy loves you.” I leaned down and pecked my daughter’s cheek repeatedly then Jack came down and kissed the top of her head which was starting to sprout my hair color and told her.

“Daddy loves you too sweetheart.” Jack and I picked up our gifts for Freddie and we walked out the door and headed to the car.

To my surprise Jack actually offered to drive to Freddie’s place at Garden Lodge.  I looked at him surprised and switched seats with him and I must admit I’m surprised that he’s managed to get driving in England down.

“Wow Jack I must say, you’ve really adapted to our way of driving, haven’t yah?”

“Well seeing you guys drive all the time kinda helped me out a bit more. Plus those old driving lessons from Deacy also helped as well.”

“So I got to ask. American style of driving or UK style of driving.”

“Oh American hands down. I still fear that I’m gonna ram into someone driving on this side of the road.”

“Guess we both feel that way. When your cousin Jensen gave me my first car driving lessons, I was terrified beyond belief. Not only was it something totally different, but also just driving on the side of the road that I’ve never driven on. But you’re doing good baby. I’m proud of you.” I gave him a peck on the cheek and he said.

“Hey now, no need to get frisky. I’m the one behind the wheel here.”

“You are just full of snappy comebacks today aren’t yah?” he grinned at me and continued to drive on.

After a while we finally arrived at Freddie’s place just ten minutes past 7.  Jack parked the car just a few yards away from the entrance of Garden Lodge and the two of us walked hand in hand towards the entrance.  I pressed the buzzer at the gate and that’s when Jim’s voice came on the intercom and he said.

‘Hello?’

“Hey Jim it’s Jack and (Y/n). We made it.”

‘Ahh the Kline couple, come right on in.’ the gate let out a buzz and Jack opened the door and tipped his hat just like Indiana Jones as he did his best Harrison Ford impression.

“My lady.”

“Why thank you Dr. Jones.” I said in my best Southern accent before walking right on in and he followed behind me.

We walked across the front garden and I couldn’t help but admire the flowers that grew down the runway towards the house.  We walked up the steps and Jack knocked on the door and soon answering the door wearing a pink boa with an angel halo on top of his head was the Queen himself, Freddie Mercury.

“Well about fucking time you two got here. I was beginning to think you both skipped out on me.”

“Please Fred. If we wanted to, you’d never let us hear the end of it.” I teased him.  He chuckled and smiled that wide smile of his before extending his arms out and the two of us hugged and kissed each other.

“And Jack. Handsome and dashing as ever.” Freddie praised.

“Thanks Fred.” Jack blushed.

“And a couple’s costume at that. I swear I think you two will upstage me. And I’m supposed to be the birthday boy here.”

“Oh well Fred actually we’re not doing a couple’s costume. At least not anymore we aren’t.”

“Oh well then Jack what kind of hat is this supposed to be?” Fred said as he stroked the rim of Jack’s Indiana Jones hat.

“Wow and I thought you would’ve at least seen at least one of the films. This is an Dr. Indiana Jones hat.”

“A doctor you say, well what the fuck kind of doctor wears that kind of hat?”

“He’s also an archeologist that goes on adventures Fred.” I explained to him.  Freddie ahhed in understandment.

“Okay now I see. Well besides all that, come on in my darlings the party’s just beginning.” Fred opened the front door wider and allowed Jack and I to enter inside.

And amazingly while there were a lot of people there, it wasn’t as full crazed as his birthday party last year.  It was mellow, quieter, people making small talk amongst friends.  It was a nice change for once (especially after the after party for the Magic tour).

The party went on and as Fred and I stood side by side of each other looking out at the other party guests I turned to him and said.

“You know I’m really surprised Fred. You really mellowed out.”

“Well darling the older you get, the less of a party animal you become. Even the champ must lose at one point.”

“All these metaphors and old saying you’ve been saying throughout this past year, I swear Fred you should be a philosopher.”

“As great as some of their sayings are, they’d be boring to meet in real life. And dear I refuse to be boring.” He playfully dipped my hat forward covering my eyes.  I groaned and playfully shoved him as I readjusted my hat.

That’s when I noticed a band on his right ring finger.

I took his hand and held it and looked up at him and asked him intrigued.

“And just what is this Fred?”

“Oh wouldn’t you like to know.” Fred teased me.

“C’mon Fred. You know as well as I that this ring isn’t like any of the old concert rings you used to wear ten years ago. So out with it.” Fred looked around before clasping my hand with his and he dragged me off upstairs where we would have some privacy.

We made it to his master suite and there I saw Delilah and Goliath both sunning themselves on the bed.

“It’s from Jim.” Freddie spoke softly as he stared down at th ring lovingly. “He gave it to my just before everyone got here. A sorta—one year anniversary present. I would wear it on my left hand if I could but—you know how people are these days when it comes to relationships. Especially with mine.”

I walked up to him and cupped his face between my hands.  He and I stared at each other and I said to him.

“I’m happy for you Fred. Truly I am. And hell if it were up to me, I’d have you and Jim married tonight if you both wanted to.”

“I know you would darling.” He very gingerly pinched my cheek.

“And……people can be bastards. They think that sexual relationships have to be in a straight fashion. Even Johanna and Graham thought that way. Any trace of homosexuality, they’d treat them as if they were scum of the scum. They’d even tried to brainwash me into believing it as well. But thankfully I have more common sense than them or anyone else that thinks that way. Love is Love. As long as two people are happy and in love with each other, so long as they are of legal age, then it doesn’t matter.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“A lioness with a heart of gold. Your parents would be proud of you darling.” He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Who knows maybe one day the world can change and have people of the same sex get married. And when that day comes, I’ll be right there at your side as your Maid of honor.” Freddie softly smiled and said.

“I’ll let you plan the whole thing out if you want.”

“Good cause you know I’ve got some suggestions.”

“You did learn from the best.”

“Also I’m gonna tell you what you once told me when Jack and I first became a couple. If he breaks your heart, or makes you cry like that last bastard of a man you had, I’ll pop him off his arse till he’s in a coma.”

We both softly laughed and pecked each other’s cheeks before embracing each other tightly.  “Never change my darling Rock Angel.”

“Never Freddie. So long as you never change either.”

“With you by my side, I doubt I ever will.” We both softly laughed.

“C’mon. I’m betting everyone’s wondering where the birthday boy is at.” We took each other’s hands once more and walked out of his master suite and headed back downstairs.

Everyone gathered in the back garden as Jim, Terry and Phoebe pulled out the cake (which was sculpted into the shape of an orange, black and white patterned cat standing on a podium with its paw up in the air).

Once the sparkling candles were lit, we all sang Happy birthday to Freddie.  Freddie stood by his cake smiling and gushing about till the end of the song before finally blowing out his candles.

“I better not expect a girl wearing a cat costume to pop out and ruin this cake!” we all laughed and that’s when Jim came up to him and delicately cut the bottom part of the cake.  As Jack and I sat together I couldn’t take my eyes off of Freddie.

He was just radiating this pure energy as he chatted away with Phoebe, Jim and his other friends that he knew outside of Queen. He truly was a ray of sunshine who made everyone laugh and smile, and I am so glad that he got out of Prenter’s grasp when he did cause this this was the Freddie I knew and loved.

“He seems happier with Jim.” Jack said to me as he ate a piece of his cake.

“He does. He finally found himself a little niche in life. And I’m happy for him.”

“So they’re really together, aren’t they?” Jack asked me. Of course there wasn’t any hatred or disgust as my husband spoke those words, he genuinely wanted to know whether or not Freddie and Jim were seriously an item or not.

“They are. And I can see that it’s real love between those two. I hope they stay together for a long, long time. They’re good for each other.”

“I’ll admit it, even though I’ve never really seen a gay romance for myself. I think they really do love each other.”

“It’s just like us. Like Deacy and Ronnie, like any other straight marriage or relationship. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person so long as two people love each other and care about one another. Love is Love.”

“I can get behind that.” Jack said as he nuzzled his face into my neck making me giggle softly.

It was about an hour after sunset when the party finally came to a close.  Everyone bid their goodbyes to Freddie and when I had invited Fred and Jim to come and have tea tomorrow, that’s when I found out that they would actually be leaving for Japan tomorrow afternoon.

“Oh wow Japan. You two going on your honeymoon?” I playfully nudged Fred.

“It’s not so much a honeymoon dear. Just a way for Jim and I to get to know each other a little more without all the press and cameras stalking us.”

“Understood. Those blood-sucking leeches.”

“Tell me about it.” He grumbled.

“Well I hope you both have a safe trip and enjoy yourselves.”

“We will darling. And I’ll be sure to pick something up for the mini-angel’s birthday in a couple months. As well as a souvenir gift.”

“You know she’s still a baby right?”

“So what? Just because she’s a baby doesn’t mean I have to stop spoiling her.” I rolled my eyes and embraced Freddie and he hugged me back.

“You’re gonna drive me to early grey hair Mercury.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous darling.” He said in a posh tone. “As I’ve always said you’re gonna be an ageless beauty. It’s me and the other guys that’ll age like milk.” I slapped his arm then we kissed each other goodbye then Jack and I took our leave.

When we arrived back home, we came in to see Derek sitting on the couch watching the news.

“How was the party?” he asked us.

“Mellow but fun. How was our girl?” Jack said.

“Barely gave me any trouble, unlike my own daughter when she was that age. The only fuss she made was when I had to change her nappie before bed.”

“She’s done that with us too. Mum hopes she’ll grow out of it soon.” I said as I walked up to him.

‘Growing cases of the AIDS and HIV virus continues to climb. So far in England alone more than 1000 confirmed deaths have occurred due to the virus…..’ I shut the TV off and muttered angrily.

“I hate the news. They never have anything positive to say. All it is is just death, gang bangs, cults, economy crashes, war, or this new virus that’s been coming up.”

“Don’t let it affect you too much Angel, you don’t need to have all that negativity floating in your head. Well I best be off.”

“Thanks again Derek, I’ll send you your payment in the morning.” I told him.

“No need. This one’s on the house. Have a good night Angel, Jack.”

“Night Derek. Drive safely.” Jack told him as Derek grabbed his coat and keys then left the house.

Jack and I changed out of our party clothes and got into our pajamas and cuddled close together.

“G’night Jack.” I yawned.

“G’night my love. Sweet dreams.” Jack whispered.  He kissed my forehead as the two of us fell asleep cuddled under the sheets.

[2seokfan]

Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 1

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

word count: 3.6k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4

summary: 

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year?  So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a rollercoaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

note: Hi! This is my first fic ever! I don’t even know if anyone’s gonna read this but I’ve had this idea in my head for awhile so fuck it.

You kicked off your shoes and threw your purse on the couch.

“God my back hurts!” 

Honestly with the amount of random bodily aches you experience on a daily business you could pass for being 70 years old. But this time you knew where the pain stemmed from. You just had to fall asleep awkwardly after a night on your phone. And of course today was a work day and you slept past all THREE of your alarms. But you know that feeling when you sleep for a suspiciously long amount of time and something doesn’t feel right? That’s the sixth sense that saved your ass this morning because your internal body clock was like sweetie I think you’re late. 

You only had time to slap on some makeup, hoping it looked semi decent, and throw your greasy hair into a messy, but passable bun because no one wants to see an ugly receptionist. You had to skip your morning Starbucks drive-through routine because you’re about to be LATE, late so you grab your keys and start your car, booking it to work.

You work at a private hybrid clinic which pays a little better than most but that means you also have to deal with a lot of attitude from rich “owners” (you hate that word). And you sat weirdly at work today so that did nOThing to help your back pain. Also how come everybody decided to book an appointment today?? It’s Friday for god's sake why does everyone and their mothers decide it’s time to call the clinic and book a checkup. They get so mad at you when you say this whole month is filled. You can’t change the schedule though?? The calendar’s filled lady either get over it and settle for next month or fuck off (of course you don’t say that out loud cause you’ll get fired). Also someone yelled at you today because they didn’t like the magazine choices in the waiting room.

Anyways your day sucked and you couldn’t be happier being back in your tiny apartment to binge watch netflix stand-up comedies until you collapse. Well you say it’s your apartment but you actually have a roommate. She’s nothing like you though, she’s the epitome of responsibility. You agreed to live with her even though you met her through Craigslist because once you met her in person you deemed her genuine enough, and also found out she’s hardly ever at the apartment but she still pays rent on time?! You really hit the jackpot with her honestly. Cause you can be a little bit messy sometimes but even when she is home she never complains. The only negative side of having her as a roommate is that you never really had time to bond with her cause she’s so busy and over your league that even after a year you two still aren’t anything more than friendly acquaintances.

Alright time to get out of your work clothes and into nothing but your favorite oversized t-shirt with no pants on because that is what you deem home-appropriate attire. But before you turn on netflix your tummy is making “feed me” noises so it’s time to check the fridge. Damn no leftovers. Time to crack open one of those Trader Joe’s frozen meals you have stacked in the freezer. You blindly pick a box. Guess you’re having vegan tikka masala tonight. Not gonna lie though those frozen meals are actually not half bad. Or maybe you’ve been away from good home cooking for so long you’ve become desensitized? Who cares, you’re hungry. Also it’s Friday, so no harm in cracking open a bottle of wine right?

When you’re all settled on the couch with your favorite plush blanket on your legs, a random comedian on tv, and a full tummy, your mind drifts away. It’s Saturday tomorrow and you have the weekends off. Maybe you should do something fun for yourself to make up for the crap you had to deal with today. You text your best friend Karli. You know she’s awake since it’s only 10pm.

You: Hey girl wanna go to the beach or smth tmrw?? <3

Karli: Yaaas ok I don’t work!! What time?

You: and we can walk around all the fancy stores and get coffee from that place we love.

You: hmmm how bout meet there @11??

Karli: Sounds good sweetie want me to pick you up?

You: no its ok ill meet u there i need to buy groceries after

Karli: Kk love ya see you then!!!

You: love ya! night bby

Karli knows that when you say “go to the beach” you really mean walk along the beach and the nearby stores because it’s early June and prime tourist season. That means the sand is packed with people and their kids and the water’s probably filled with pee so you’re not really down for that. Also the expensive shops near the beach are so cute and you love walking around window shopping, pretending like you can actually afford any of the items on display.

The wine is now getting to you cause before you know it you find your eyelids getting heavy. You muster up your last ounce of strength to turn off the tv and force yourself out of the couch cause your poor back doesn’t need another excuse to keep hurting. As much as you don’t want to wash your face and brush your teeth, you have to because you don’t want makeup on your pillowcase tonight. And when you finally crawl into bed you knock out instantly.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Oh fuck…”

You forgot that drunk you last night set an alarm today for 9am. Thank you drunk Y/N. 

Why 9am? Because you need to shower and get ready, plus the beach you’re going to is near the north part of the city, which is also the expensive part of the city, meaning it’s a LONG ways from where you live. But the stores are aesthetically pleasing and it contains both you and Karli’s favorite coffee shop so you’re willing to make the 25 minute drive. Karli doesn’t have to worry though because she lives a lot closer than you do. Girl has got her shit together. Honestly you’re just glad she decided to move back after graduate school cause the long distance friend thing sucks balls.

You hop in the shower and rinse yourself awake. The weather is perfect, warm but not too hot. Unlike many people who prefer to dress up for a nice outing, you’re just the opposite. You’ve been forced to dress in nice business attire with a full face of makeup all week. Hell no are you dressing up on your days off too. It’s a sweatpants and tank top kinda day so that’s exactly what you wear. Ever since college you’ve spoiled yourself into only wearing comfy clothes whenever you have the chance and it’s become a minor problem in your life. You have some perfectly nice jeans in the closet but you haven’t worn them in forever. And you’re not gonna wear them today either. And makeup? Who needs makeup? You’ll just go barefaced since you have no one to impress. Actually just kidding maybe a little concealer just to cover up a few rough spots but that’s IT. You’re still a little self conscious and you know you have to work on that but not today.

It’s now 10:15. You grab your purse from the couch, slip on your favorite pair of slides and head to your car. You’re the kind of person who absolutely needs music when you drive so you quickly start blasting your favorite playlist. Before you know it, you’re pulling up to the beach area. Parking is hard to find on the weekend but your lucky ass managed to squeeze into a street parking spot right as someone pulls out. You lock your car and make the trek to Cozy Coffeehouse, your favorite coffee shop hands down.

Karli is already here and she’s hopping up and down, waving at you. She looks super cute today in her little black dress and fishnets. She’s had the same taste since high school and you’re glad that even a Master’s degree hasn’t stopped her from dressing all punk on her days off. You jog over and give her a quick hug.

“Hey girl look at you!! You’re so cute!” You take in her makeup and you swear if she didn’t go the corporate route she definitely should have been a makeup artist. Her eyeshadow is amazing and you’ll never ever have the blending talent that she has, nor could you ever get your eyeliner to look that sharp.

“Aw thanks! You look comfy though I’m kinda jealous now maybe I should’ve dressed down.” 

“No I love your outfits! Besides, someone has to look nice in this relationship.”

You link arms and march into the cafe. It’s located near the fancy designer stores on a large hill overlooking the beach. When you step inside the whole atmosphere screams ‘cozy’, fitting its name perfectly. The interior is littered with mismatched sofas and armchairs but it somehow still looks aesthetically pleasing. Soft piano jazz is playing through speakers and when you step inside the delicious scent of freshly ground coffee beans immediately invades your nostrils.

You glance at their pastry display first. Today must be your lucky day because they have tiramisu and you absolutely love tiramisu but it’s usually sold out. No way in hell are you letting this chance slide, fuck breakfast norms you’re definitely getting a bite of that. Unfortunately you’re not a fan of sugary treats on top of sugary drinks so to balance things out you choose to order their house brew.

After you two order, you find a spot in one of the plush armchairs near the window and sit. You really are lucky today since window seats are usually taken. But not this time! You guys get to enjoy the gorgeous scenery displayed before you. The sun is bright, people are laying on the beach tanning, and kids are splashing each other with water. For the first time in awhile, you feel content with life, if only for a bit. 

Before long your orders are called out and you stand up to retrieve them. Once you’re settled, you break into conversation with Karli, eager to catch up on everything that happened since you two last spoke face-to-face. You talk about work, Karli’s boyfriend Sunny, that new pizza place that opened up near your apartment that actually has really shitty pizza.

“Like seriously how do you fuck up pizza that badly?” you exclaim in between generous bites of tiramisu.

“No I get you,” Karli responds, slurping her iced mocha frappuchino, “everybody knows what pizza is supposed to taste like, I mean it’s gotta take talent to actually fuck it up to the level you’re describing girl.”

“Exactly!!” You wave your arms in the air, wanting to physically demonstrate your frustration at the situation and your passion for good pizza.

“Anyways…” Karli gently sets her drink down and takes on a more serious tone. “How are you though, honestly.”

“Hmm, me?” You swallow your last bite of tiramisu, “I’m doing good. Works ok, life’s ok. You know. Everything’s… ok.”

“I get that everything’s ‘ok’ but you know I want you to be more than ok. I want you to be happy”

You see the genuine concern in her eyes. Bless this girl for being so soft-hearted.

She continues, “And when was the last time you dated? Like, what, 2 years ago??”

Of course she has to mention dating. Karli has always been a romantic. You? Not so much. Your brain tended to err on the logical, practical side, which is not always a good idea since it keeps you away from many potential relationships.

“I date!” You scoff, but you’re not convincing anybody, least of all yourself.

“Oh really?” Her eyes widen in mock surprise, “Tinder one night stands don’t count babe. You know what I mean.”

“Well you didn’t specify…” You mumble, trying to come up with any excuse to defend your pride. You know she’s just being a good friend and that she’s asking because she cares about you, so you don’t let her questions irritate you.

“Sweetie I’m not trying to make you feel bad and I’m sorry if it comes across that way. It’s just… you mean a lot to me and you’re my bestie and I just want to see you be happy.” She takes your hand from across the table and looks you in the eyes. “We don’t get to see each other as much as we used to, so when I do I want to check in on how you’re doing.”

Then she averts her eyes, which you find highly suspicious. “Also I may or may not have found someone who I KNOW will be a perfect match for you.”

“AHA I KNEW you were leading up to something!”

“Wait but hear me out. He’s an accountant and at first I was like hmmm is he too boring for Y/N? But then I realized I was judging him by his job and that’s not cool so I talked to him and he’s, like, actually super cute and super sweet and I think you two will get along so well!” She’s speaking very fast at this point, trying to squeeze out as much information as possible before you can interject. Then she finishes with one of her signature Karli smiles, big and wide and all teeth and she knows you can’t say no to that face.

“Dammit. Fine.” You lost this round. “Alright if he wants to meet up I won’t say no. How bout that?”

“Gee that’s so thoughtful of you Y/N.” Her tone is sarcastic but she’s still smiling so you know she means no harm.

After another half hour of conversation, locked in a heated debate about food again (this time she’s defending her stance that pineapple belongs on pizza), Karli’s phone rings. The sound scares the poor girl half to death, and watching her jump a mile from her couch had you snorting into your coffee mid drink.

She looks at the caller ID, muttering under her breath, “It’s Saturday what do they want?” then glances up with a sad little pout, “Sorry Y/N it’s work gimme a sec…”

From what you can hear on her side of the conversation, something has come up and she has to head to the office right away. 

“Ok I’ll be there in fifteen,” she hangs up and gives an exaggerated “Ughhhhh”. She takes one large gulp, finishing the last of her ultra sweet, ultra whipped frappuccino. “It’s like they can’t do anything when I’m not there.” She looks especially apologetic when her eyes land back on you, “I’m so sorry I have to cut this short…”

“Hey it’s ok! Duty calls ya know,” you give her a reassuring grin, hoping it passes for a smile instead of a grimace. You were really hoping to hang out today.

“No it’s not ok. We didn’t even get to walk around today! And I know how much you like to do that.” She stands up, slipping her purse onto her shoulder, “so next time I’ll plan a day where I guarantee I won’t get interrupted. It’s the least I can do.”

“Mk sounds good babe,” you give her a big hug, “Go get ‘em tiger!”

After she exits the cafe you finish the last bit of your coffee and glance out the window, staring at the people on the beach. Wow it’s really crowded down there today. You zone in on two kids attempting to build a sandcastle, but it’s too close to the water so the waves flatten it in two seconds. But it seems they didn’t learn their lesson because they keep rebuilding the castle in the same spot. Just move it further up little dudes.

You find yourself lost in thought again. Just because Karli’s suddenly busy doesn’t mean you don’t still have a whole day to yourself. You can walk around on your own. Also why not treat yourself to another drink? A fun one this time from their specials menu.

Ten minutes later you find yourself wandering around the various shops, hot hazelnut latte in hand, gazing at display after display of designer clothes and bags. Look, you may not be a huge fashion person, or have any expendable cash, but a girl can still appreciate art, especially when it’s laid out so nicely in front of you. 

Speaking of art, there’s an art gallery coming up that you absolutely love. You’ve always been too afraid to go inside because you’re the type of person who feels obligated to buy something if you enter a local store and you DEFinitely can’t afford anything there. So you opt to loiter outside, like some creep, looking a little too long at the featured art through the window. This time it’s an Impressionist style painting of a ship on hazy waters with a sunset in the background. You’re no artist but you can appreciate good quality work when you see it. The piece is mesmerizing and serene, transfixing you to the spot. Before you know it, you’ve been staring for 15 whole minutes.

While admiring the artist’s use of color on the display piece, you overhear a lady raising her voice not too far away, snapping you out of your trance. It sounds like drama, so being the nosy bitch that you are, you’re definitely gonna check it out, if only to satisfy your curiosity.

“What do you mean ‘no’?! You’ll be perfect for each other!! Where’s your owner I bet he’ll listen!” At this point the lady’s voice is sounding downright aggressive.

As you shuffle closer to the scene of the noise, you spot a middle-aged, blonde lady pointing her finger at two hybrid men, almost jabbing one of them in the chest with her sharp, ruby nails. Behind her stands a gorgeous female arctic fox hybrid who clearly belongs to her as she pats her owner’s shoulders, trying to calm her down.

“I’m sorry miss but we just aren’t interested.” The taller of the two hybrids with orange hair speaks up, gently pushing the lady’s hands away. “Please leave us alone.” He’s being surprisingly calm, even after getting yelled at in public.

“Yeah lady get out of our faces,” the other white and grey haired hybrid is definitely more agitated, crossing his arms as he huffs in annoyance. You don’t blame him since the blonde lady is being ridiculously rude.

You can’t really make out the two males’ faces, since they’re turned away from you, but they are obviously hybrids. Both having incredibly bushy, soft-looking tails and tall, pointy ears sticking out of their heads.

Even if you can’t see their expressions, you can tell they’re uncomfortable with the harassment. Since you’re still somewhat unaware of the context, you stay out of the argument but decide to keep an eye on the situation in case the lady steps out of line. You’re just slightly around the corner, able to stay a safe distance away so that no one, especially the lady, can catch you eavesdropping. Pretending to admire the Gucci purses displayed in front of the shop you’re now standing at, and almost choking at the price, you cautiously side-eye blondie as she refuses to back down from the hybrid boys.

“Listen here you rude little pets, I’m not leaving you alone until I see your owner. My Sylvia here,” she gestures to the fox hybrid behind her, “would make a perfect partner for you.” She pokes the orange haired hybrid again, “I’ve been searching so long for her to find a mate and I’m not giving you up! Now where the hell is your owner!”

What the fuck?! How dare this lady talk to them like that? And in public no less! You now know exactly why she’s yelling at them. Working at a private hybrid clinic has opened your eyes to the harsh world of hybrids, and their selfish, rich owners. It’s not uncommon for owners to negotiate with each other and breed their hybrids. If two pretty hybrids mate, their children can be sold for loads of money. It's cruel and disgusting, with many of the children sold off before they can even get to know their parents. You’re all too familiar with this tradition, often catching owners in the waiting room of your clinic discussing in whispers about buying and selling hybrid children as if they’re livestock.

“Hey what the fuck did you call us?!” The white and grey hybrid is now also raising his voice. “Listen you wrinkly bi…!” He is quickly silenced by the orange hybrid, who abruptly clamps his hand over his buddy’s mouth.

Orange hair clears his throat. “What he means is, we don’t appreciate the tone you’re using with us. Please leave us alone ma’am. We’ll be on our way. Goodbye.” They attempt to brush past her.

“Hey hold on a minute! I’m not done with you!!” This lady even has the balls to grab onto orange hair’s arm. “I demand to speak to your owner!” Then some sort of realization dawns upon her because her eyes go wide, then quickly narrow. “And where are your collars? Aren’t owned hybrids supposed to have collars on? You know I just might have to call Hybrid Services.” 

You can see the boys visibly tense at her words as she sports a satisfied smirk. Poor Sylvia is now gently tugging on her shirt. “Please calm down, miss…” she says desperately trying to remedy the situation.

Before you know it, and without any plan of action, you round the corner and march up to the boys, standing defensively in front of them.

“Um…” You gulp, then clear your throat, speaking in what you hope is a more confident tone. “Sorry I took so long guys! You wouldn’t believe the line at the coffee shop!”

Next

[honeypiehotchner]

A Discovery of Witches Episode 2 let’s do this

Still live blogging but we’re just gonna do it in one post this time around

Random but I have to say the cinematography of this show is absolutely stunning!!!!!

Oh okay we’re seeing Juliette a lot earlier than expected (I can’t remember if this was the case in the book? I really don’t remember her this early)

Ah I love Hamish in the book and I have a feeling I’ll love him here too

“Looks like a wedding cake.” MATTHEW PLEASE JUST DRINK YOUR WINE

“It’s complex.”

“Isn’t it always with you?” Ah my fav line thank GOD it’s in here

Roast him Hamish ROAST HIM

Oh we’re seeing Dominico too alright

Watching Matthew hunt is...something. They did it really well of translating it from the book to screen

THE DAEMON WITH RED COWBOY BOOTS I LIVE

Anywho Matthew Goode looks so good in this show I’m losing my goddamn mind

Lord I still despise Peter Knox

I REALLY despise Peter Knox

Also hate that Gillian is being portrayed as a friend when she’s betraying Diana by talking to Knox 😒😒😒

Can I just give Marcus the biggest hug ever because he looks like he needs one

Satu can fuck off I hate her

Sarah and Em have my whole entire heart though

What a pretty man

The realization on Matthew’s face after Hamish says, “There’s more to the game than protecting your queen.”

MATTHEW GOODE IS A PHENOMENAL ACTOR OK

“I can take care of myself.” Yes you can bby you tell him

“Like my mother, Mr. Knox, if I’ve made up my mind, I don’t change it.”

THE WAY SHE SHATTERED THE WINDOW HOLY FUCKING HELL GIRL

Okay I hurt for Diana because I know the betrayal she has to feel seeing someone she thought was a friend talking to her enemy but THANK GOD she saw them so she’d know

Oh fuck she went to his room

And now he’s losing control oh NO

God I kinda want to cry with the way Matthew is acting

Oh god now Matthew is FLEXING

“You knew Darwin?” I swear to God

CAN HE NOT LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT FROM THE CORNER OF HIS EYES ITS MAKING ME FEEL THINGS MATTHEW PLEASE QUIT IT

Y’all I am LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

THE WAY MATTHEW TOOK OFF HIS JACKET SO POINTEDLY AFTER MARCUS SMELLED HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

I just have one question for Matthew

COULD YOU SIT ANY CLOSER SIR? ANY CLOSER?

Nvm he answered and the answer is yes, yes he could.

Are you kidding this is a dream

“I remember when the Thames used to ice over every winter. I used to skate on it.” His expression was so soft there 🥺

Y’all I’m so fucking touch starved that this:

Is making me feel some type of way

final thoughts

I have no idea how to feel right now

Diana and Matthew are already falling for one another

Good god

On to episode three

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

���we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes]

Beetlejuice 12/18/2019

This will be long but this is a compilation of everything that stuck out to me about the show! Spoilers Obviously 

Who was in the cast:

Sophia Anne Caruso- Lydia

Alex Brightman- Beetlejuice

Kerry Butler- Barbara

Leslie Kritzer- Delia

Adam Dannheisser - Charles

David Josefsberg - Adam 

Act I:

The theater was GORGEOUS, the stage was beautiful, the music before the show was so good. The crowd was so excited, the ushers were so nice. It was just a wonderful experience before the show even started

Invisible started and I almost cried. Sophia is such an amazing singer, and hearing her sing live? She has so much power in her voice it gave me chills

I also liked looking through the ensemble and recognizing the cast members

The costumes were so stunning

The minute Beetlejuice arrived on stage everyone started clapping for a solid minute and he just waited there with a big grin on his face

OH MY GOD HIS SINGING was amazing

The sandworm was HUGE like I knew it would be big but it was literally huge

I was surprised that a lot of Beetlejuice’s jokes fell flat, they were hilarious

He said something along the lines of “I feel so out of place...like a gay republican”

I died

The MAITLANDS seeing them for the first time was so good!!! David plays an amazing Adam. Adam needs ot be protected at all costs, he is such a good husband

Barbara would do this low and growly voice during “Not Yet” and it was so funny. 

Beetlejuice just hanging around them before they died was very funny. He would have one liners that were just hilarious

When the Maitlands fell through the fucking floor boards, I knew it was gonna happen but like it still shocked me

THE SAD PUPPET SHOW

Literally five minutes after he found out there was a kid in the audience Barbara says “You give me the creeps” and he goes “Well you give me a boner!”

The whole being dead thing reprise was SO GOOD. It was so amazing to watch live

Charles is so much more RAUNCHY than I expected, very sex oriented lol but so blunt about it

LYDIA 

Can I just say that Sophia Anne Caruso plays teenage angst SO WELL. Like I 100% felt the sadness Lydia was feeling, it was so palpable

Just once more what the fuck did Lydia think was happening??? How dare she be surprised that they were moving. Like I love her but come on...

There’s a point during the scene where Lydia straight up gets this evil look on her face, starts giggling and goes up to Delia all innocently, trying to make it seem like this is hard for her to do and she’s breaking through. She does the whole “knock know” and when Delia said you don’t open the doors Lydia straight up started crying and said “I guess you’ll never know”

Dead Mom made me sob, Sophia has so much power when she is singing. There were points where Lydia would be near tears and it was so sad but so incredible. 

Fright of their lives was very funny. BUT THEY CHANGED THE KATHRINE HEPBURN joke. 

Adam is such a supportive husband

I also loved: “What are things that make you scared” and Adam goes “THE ELECTROAL COLLEGE! WHY DOES OHIO HAVE SO MUCH POWER” and Barbara deadass goes “Can I change my answer”

“WEll that was a soliloquy so you’re the rude one”

LETS HAUNT THIS BITCH

“No Reason” was also very funny, Delia tries so hard. This woman dabbed, did Fortnight dances, and just is a ray of sunshine. It’s just not what Lydia needs. Lydia was so savage during that song she took zero shits

Delia looked so upset when Lydia said “and good people die” It was very obvious she knew Lydia was talking about her mom, she went over to hug her but Lydia went under her arm

LYDIA MEETING THE MAITLANDS so adorable

Lydia telling the story about her mom. She looked so happy to have someone to talk to about it. 

“Every year me and my mom would build these haunted houses but it was during the summer so nobody was expecting it. One time she dressed up as the ghost of edgar allen poe! I thought she was so scary, but nobody knew who she was...because people don’t read.”

Also Adam is adorable, his dad joke made the whole audience groan

Lydia just needs to affection. She was like “I don’t have many friends...it’s nice to know I have you guys in the attic.”

Delia: “That was the most impressive rogering you’ve ever given me” Charles: “I’m very good at sex”

ICONIC

Charles proposing and Delia being so happy, so cute. But then Lydia runs in and Delia has to hide

LYDIA IS SO DRAMATIC. I’m talking she's fake fainting about the scary ghosts, collapsing to the floor. A+ performace, it was so funny

WHEN LYDIA FIND DELIA heart breaking. She was crying I just wanted someone to hug her. The Maitlands looked so concerned, Charles didn’t make any attempts to comfort her which kinda made me pissed at him because he was being very selfish. Also when Lydia cried, “I wish I was dead.” he didn’t even bother to follower her. Do better Charles

Beetle juice's multiple limbs very funny gag

Also he started scatting

Poor Lydia :(

Lydia started like having a mental break down when BJ started singing “I’m gonna have a new best friend!” like someone please give this girl a break. She so smol

Beetlejuice stopping her from killing herself 

“Say my name” was SO INCREDIBLE

the line “and kill him” was said so quietly that he was like trying to have Lydia not hear him

FAKE CARTWHEEL

Any time Lydia said Beetlejuice a light would shine on BJ but then go out when she would go beeeeeee- “cuz/” “being” “be a doll”

Nice lighting touch

The lighting, in general, was amazing

Lydia was so intrested in the possesion of Adam and Barbara it was so cool to see the little glimmer of a plan forming in her head

SHE PUSHED BJ off the roof and when she goes “what he was already dead” the Maitlands just kinda shrug like “she right” 

Charles and Delia trying to High-five but missing? Cute ass couple, they are actually really cute together

Maxie Dean is a creep and has ZERO RIGHTS

Lydia’s yellow dress and how excited Delia was and how relieved Charles was

Day-O was fantastic Lydia looked so happy but then it started failing and instantly she got very angry but a sad kind of angry. She had such a look of hesitation on her face when she summoned BJ but she went through with it when she looked over at her dad and he was giving Delia a kiss.

You could see in her eyes that Lydia almost instantly regretted it when she saw just how chaotic he was being, but she just kept going because she thought she had no other alternative. 

Charles reaching out for Lydia before he got pushed out of the house and Lydia looking at him as if she just wanted him to come and get her? HEART BREAKING

“It’s our house now kid!”

Intermission:

I got a cool cup and bought some merch. Very cool

Act II:

When Skye came on stage someone behind me said “Who is she??” like bitch just WATCH

Dana was amazing as Skye, Skye deserves the world she is so pure

LYDIA so chaotic as Skye definitely has a bby crush on Lydia

“Boo. Hope I didn’t scare you!”- Skye

Then Lydia scares her, Skye starts hyperventilating and Lydia goes “you’re fun!” and Skye says “I like you too!”

Poor Skye :(

Poor everyone in “That Beautiful sound”

Lydia SMILING. Any time she smiled it felt like a blessing. She seemed so happy

The clones do acrobatics in the aisles I did not expect that, it was so intense

NPR where tote bags come from

“And a book you’re never going to read” “the hand book for the recently decease?” “yep but you’re not recently deceased so...do you wanna see a sad puppet show??”

Beetlejuice looking so betrayed when Lydia left....

Lydia upstairs with the Maitlands. Omg Lydia looked so cute when she was holding the book and just kinda swaying in her spot when she was talking about it

“and we? We are old book smell people”

Lydia loving the smell of old books? Cute, adorable, 10/10

Adam being a dad

ADAM BOOPING her nose with the chalk. I would DIE for them

Lydia yelling at the maitlands when they won’t help her find her mom. WOW she had so much anger behind her voice but it was so sad because you can tell she was trying not to cry

Barbara 2.0 was amazing

Lydia walking across the stage trying to open the book :(

Charles and Delia coming back for Lydia and both of them flirting with each other...like bruh you’ve come to rescue your daughter please help her....

Beetlejuice tricking Lydia :(

Delia falling off the couch and just seeing her crawl off stage to do her Ms. Argentina quick change. ICONIC

Lydia accidentally exorcising Barbara was SO MUCH SADDER THAN I HAD EXPECTED like Lydia was having a mental breakdown she was os upset and lost and confused

When Beetlejuice showed up her face went so pale and she looked so scared.

“Well you wanted your mommy so this is what you get!” I CRIED that was so uncalled for

When the whole family was trapped Lydia really looked like a scared little kid because she is...like you forget how young Lydia is but there are several moments in the show where you are reminded that she is a scared, and lonely little girl who misses her mom

Charles trying to reach out to her but being chained to a wall, heart breaking. This scene made me so sad in general

Lydia agreeing to Marry him but her voice cracking and sounding so scared :(

THE HUG SHE GIVES BARBARA before she runs off

Charles pushing Adam and Barbara down so he could follow her

The whole Netherworld scene was so good

Poor Lydia was being pushed around, and pulled, and dragged, she looked so scared. Like she would try to run away from people but they would just grab her and pull her back. She looked like she was hyperventilating and just needed a hug but any time Charles got close to her 

Lydia calling for her mom in the Netherworld and crying

HOME WAS CHILLING

Charles and Lydia making uP sobbing, I legit sobbed 

OTHO’s real name being Kevin...very funny 

Delia had NO MERCY when she found out his name was Kevin

Adam’s name plack being “Sexy”

BJ fliritng with Adam in general was pretty funny

When BJ didn’t buy the wedding thing and went to go kill Charles Lydia did no freaking hesitate and went to go grab the art peice to kill him with

ADAM FOR THE WIN

Creepy Old guy was very funny

When BJ came back to life and everything was shaking on stage Sophia straight up yeeted her hat off stage, I laughed so loud even though nothing else funny was happening on stage

Lydia looked so mortified when she killed BJ

Juno coming back for Lydia and Lydia actaully looking scared, but then the threat paused and Juno tricked BJ with love, and then went right back to Lydia. The whole family trying to protect her...veyr soft

BJ AND THE SAND WORM

Bj giving Lydia the cowboy hat

Jump in the line made me CRY 

Lydia flying :D

End of Show

Instant standing ovation 

I got to stage door and got autographs from Presley, Dana, Kerry, and David

[corancoranthemagicalman]

Hannibal - Ep1 - Reaction

Okay, so this is starting because of @quartermastercandlestickmaker​ and @todorokisrose​ [yes, y’all both gettin’ tagged in the annoouncement and this one. I need to be clear on who is causing my suffering.]

I’m here in this hole now. This dark pit.

This is not a live-blogging of my watch, but I am writing this live. So, writing live posting later. If that makes sense. I’ll have one post per episode and after I’ll compile them all into a master list.

Spoilers ahead.

What a grand opening my dudes. Thrilling music. He’s got that “he fucked up” face going on. WAIT NO HE’S SHERLOCKING THE SHIT. OH COOL. NO WONDER I SAW SOOME FANART OF THEM BEING BFFS. Oh, I like this. Weird effects flex but I dig it.Ooooooooooo I was not expecting that voice. IS THIS WHERE THE “THIS IS MY DESIGN” SHIT CAME FROM WHAT THE FUCK Have I known this more than I thought.

Also low-key bitch *looks* like a psychopath no wonder what is gonna happen happens. Oh rip Mrs. Marlow ;;~;; that was a hard change bro.

I don’t wanna think about ---

BITCH THIS *IS* WHERE THE THIS IS MY DESIGN SHIT CAME FROM OH M Y G O D

Also Laurence Fishbourne god bless I love him.

It’s difficult for me to be social too, fam. LAURANCE WHY DID YOU FIX HIS GLASSES THAT WAS SO WE IR D???? Also bro same I love you, Will Graham, you funky little sociopath.

“Every girl is a candy bar” mhm okay thanks for that. Will and this sociable thing is really fucking me bro minus the serial killer obsession/profession/vibe.

Laurence Fishbourne is an amazing actor but I’m also digging the dude playing Will (srry names are my weakness so his name is Will.)

Oooooo booi. I recognize Katz from fanart she’s a popular one right. But we’re going upstairs.

I’m so worried about opening the door

Oh

Oh

Oh no

He knew

This bitch been knew

Holy shit

I like the whole thing with eye contact. I’ve seen the gif where it’s mentioned but I like how it’s subtle and not overly emphasized so far. Oh we’re flashing back again. Poor Elise. It’s a super interesting story technique using him as the killer. Also damn bitch “you unstable” you’re such a nosy bitch how were you interrupted when you were asked not to enter

Now everyone is here

Antlers promote healing mhm okay

I wanna hug him but I also don’t want to make him uncomfortable with contact. IS HE STOPPING FOR A DOG OH ,Y HO GOD. I’D DIE FOR THIS MAN. I’D DIE FOR THIS MAN. HE STOPPED FOR A DOG. HEWENT BACK FOR THE DOG OMGH THIS MAN THIS MAN IS,,,,, he adopted a fucking stray dog. This man is lovely. I love this man. This -- HE DOES IT TO MULTIPLE DOOGS OH MY GOD I WANNA MARRY HIM ANDHAVE WINSTON AND EVERYBODY AND OMOG HE’S SUCH A LOVELY STRANGE CREATURE.

Where are we now. In a dream state? OH SHIT WE ARE THAT’S A BODY AND A HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR WHAT THE FUCK ahhhh fun nightmares I love it. Oh shit the towels. Bro. There are quite a few visuals happening.

“USE THE LADIES ROOM” dafsjhg

Stop yelling at him ;;~;;

Woah  this is a lot to unpack in this scene you can see Will like slipping omg. It’ss almost unsettling him not having eye contact but like I know the reason for it and therefore it’s just impressive acting and not like unsettling of the actor to do that if that makes sense? I really am impressed by that level of commitment to not have a “look at the camera” to keep showing how he won’t look at other people.

Ooo this is one of the lady psych talkers which is like on the Graham side while the blonde one is for Hannibal, right even tho Hannibal is a brain doc. ALANA that’s her name and that might be how you spell it. She doesn’t want him out there but Laurence needs  her to be his back  up. (Oh, his name is Jack.) JACK DONT MAKE PROMISES WILL CAN AND WILL GET CLOSE.

WHAT THE FUCK  IS THIS SHOW WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE SHADWS AND THE ANTLERS PIERCING HER OH MY GOD WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS SHOW I THOUGHT THE VISUALS I HAD SEEN IN FAN ART WAS JUST LIKE FANON  IMPOSED OMOG “SOMETHING WRONG WITH  THE MEAT” O G M OOG HE’S EATING THEM FUCK

Is this

Is this my bitch

MY BITCH MADS OH MY GOD.

I love him. He’s so unconventionally handsome. He looks like he’d kill and eat me but I’d thank him for it, yanno? Oops.

No nonsense MM handing this crying man some tissues I love it. “I hate being this neurotic” omg the mood also Hannibal’s glance to the tissue is fucking amazing??? V Subtle Acting /cries in beauty

Franklyn, the lion isn’t in the room boy (just discovered I might wanna put subtitles on but they’re not working so rip)

Frankie boy got so scared by that comment thanks, Dr. Lector.

Mhm no secretary that’s,,, suspicious,,,, “sad to see her go” mhm okay sure Jan

Oh this bitch does draw oh my god john hopkins internship and all. Laurence is impressed and Mads is “mhm are you gonna try something” sdajkfgh A LAYMAN DAMN aww he’s like “oomg you’re so amazing dr. mr. sir”

OH THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM HERE WE GO BBY

FUCKKK IT BEGINS

SORRY HE’S GIVING THE WHOLE DOWNLOW

“Associations come quickly-” “so do forts”

QEFJWahgrsdfdkq WHAT THE FUCK

THIS IS LITERAL THE FIRST DAMN CONVERSATION HE HAS WITH HIM. I KNEW THE CONVERSATION ABOUT EYE CONTACT WAS ONE OF THEIR FIRST, BUT THIS IS THE LITERAL FIRST WITH THE ADDED BONUS OF HE ACTUALLY MAKES E Y E C O N T A C T OOMGGG??!?!?!?!

Oh ;;~;; “YOU WONT LIKE ME WHEN I’M PSYCHOANAYLYZED” im this is very flirtatious als jack you’re like br  o

So he’s the King of Empathy. He’s,,, helping Will see his own face,,, mhm,,,,, what does that say about you, Dr. Lector?

He’s mocking where he was apologetic is this maybe noT

FJAGUDIS

SHIT THOSE ARE LUNGS

OH

“HE HAS A DAUGHTER SAME AGE” O H B O  Y THAT’S UH DADDY HAS SOME ISSUES WITH BABY LEAVING HOME

Also this is a copy cat dklafjsghjfd OH DAMN THAT SNAP BACK ABOUT DR. LECTOR FFUCKK MAN.

Also,, I  can see why this show,, caused issues,,, a man should not look handsome while eating fucking lungs.

More visions I cannot even

What does this

What the hell is this

Dr. Lector showing up at his house o h .

IS HE FEEDING HIM FUCKING LUNGS BITCH OH MY GD ON A FIRST DATE???

“God forbid we become friendly”

“I don’t find you that interesting”

This smells,,, like a ship,,, mhm,,,,

Breath will damn breath slow and use the words omg

Mhm ookay “we’re just alike” in the first bit…

Uncle Jack sees him as a fine china tea cup. That’s hilarious.

“How do you see me?” says Will.

“The mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by,” replies Hannibal WHILE WILL IS KEEPING EYE CONTACT.

OH MY GOD. MHM. KAY. IM OKAY. THIS IS OKAY.

So is there a reason -- “plain but pretty” hannibal gives a look -- is there a reason no official officer is accompanying them like????? They’re both not??? FBI????

Damn hannibal spilling shit everywhere.

HE’S USING A TISSUE TO PICK UP THE PHONE

TO CALL HIS DAUGHTER

MHMMMM?????????

Wait no he’s calling someone else

Who is this

OH HE’S CALLING GARRETT. OH. wait is he helping other cannibals get away. What the fuck. You can’t do that, Hannibal. Is there a fuckking cannibal union yall get together and trrade recipes.

OH NO GARRETT MURDERED HIS WIFE AND KID DIDNT HE OH NO

OH PLEASE NO

Wait we’re back to reality

This back and forth is trippy

Oh

H  N

OH  NO

FUCK YU HANNIBAL AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING CANNIBAL CLAN THIS PR WOMAN :(((((((((

I do love how this built up to Hannibal being the cannibal but it was Hobbs. NFIEGSIBFD

HOBBS NO

FUCK HIM UP WILL

(also I guess Will technically is FBI that probably helps lmao)

Oh no

O h n o

Dont whisper at him to see bitch

Oh no

Will

Will it’s

Oh no

>:((((((((((((((((((( hannibal Imma fuck you up

Will honey let someone clean your glasses. Does she survive? I hope the girl survives. The Traitor Cannibal Bitch is going with them. Mhm.

Alana tryin’ to protect him. (Does she like him? I got bad news, babe, he’s gonna fall in love with a man-eater.)

shE SURVIVED??? AND HANNIBAL IS THERE WITH HER???? OMOG??? DOES HE FEEL BAD YET YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU READ THE CANNIBAL WRONG AND HE NEARLY MURDERED HIS FAMILY wait is this chick who everyone calls their daughter oomg??? Is this her????

WHAT WAS THIS SHOW OMG WHAT WAS THIS SHOW

[dontmeanlove]

not a competition

Pairing: peter parker x female!reader

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: a little cussing, nothing major.

Plot: You’re not competing with Peter Parker, that’s just ridiculous and you were not doing it. No matter what MJ said. You were frenemies with Peter Parker and best friends with spotspidey on instagram. You had no idea what it would mean. 

Prompt: Enemies IRL and best friends online

You weren’t competing with Peter Parker. It was a ridiculous concept, you refused to acknowledge that. But if, and only if, you were competing with him, you were winning anyway.

There was this ongoing thing between you two where you weren’t really enemies, you didn’t even talk if you were honest, but the two of you were always trying to one-up the other.

You didn’t know when it all started, but now you announced your grades nonchalantly loud whenever Peter was around and when he was the one with a better grade you rolled your eyes and scoffed. It didn’t matter that you smirked at him, raising an eyebrow whenever you were the one with the better grade.

It was ridiculous really, that’s why you weren’t competing with him. Nope. Nopety no. It was too lame to admit.

“I can’t believe you’re still doing it,” MJ sounded bored. She had her eyebrow raised when you said you got an A- in physics. You refused to blush.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tried to sound nonchalant but your voice failed you, you face with a slight blush.

You heard Peter tell Ned he got an A+. You squinted your eyes and pouted.

“C’ mon,” MJ nudged you, “Tell him he’s cute, ask him out or something, this weird dance you’re doing is nauseating.”

“Hey,” You protested. “I don’t like him,” your mumble not really convincing. “He is irritating and smart and dorky.”

“Oh,” MJ chuckled. “You’re in way deeper than I thought.”

“I’m not,” You frowned, you barely stopped yourself from stomping your foot because you’d never hear the end of it.

Your phone chimed, you smiled down at the notification. You opened Instagram and tried to contain a smile.

(yourighandle): spotspidey: school is sucking the life outta me

(yourighandle): spotspidey: I think today took like 5 years out of my life span

You chuckled. He was always dramatic. It was a bit funny how you could feel so strongly about a person you didn’t even know. Sometimes you wondered if you were being catfished, like it was a good possibility but, at the same time, you didn’t really care?

yourighandle: ever so dramatic,,, it’s not that bad.

yourighandle: my day was off to a bad start, I got an A-

spotspidey: who’s dramatic now?

yourighandle: you

spotspidey: no :( meany

yourighandle: aw bby you gonna get over it

You smiled down your phone and ran a hand through your hair. The bell rang way too soon and you sighed.

“I always forget about your ig boyfriend,” MJ looked amused.

“That again? Girl, you seriously need new stuff to talk about.”

“What can I do if you’re into two hopeless boys?!”

“I’m not into either of them.”

“Yeah, right.” MJ wasn’t convinced at all. “Let’s go to class, loser.”

You groaned but followed her through the school to your lockers, they were side by side.

“Where’s that loser penis parker?” You heard Flash say with a tone to his voice that made you frown. “You think I can make him cry today?”

You felt pure rage bubble inside you, you turned to where he was standing and smiled sweetly at him. He smiled back at you, looking surprised. You walked to him and put your hands on his shoulders.

“Oh Flash,” You kept your voice sweet and a smile on your face before you knee him in the balls. “Think again before being such an asshole.”

You cleaned your throat, went back to your locker with a victorious smile on your face, got your things and headed to class. He was on the floor cupping his crotch.

“Oh my god,” MJ was laughing by your side. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Me too,” You laughed along with her. “I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Chill, nobody’s gonna tell on you, everybody knows that Flash is a jerk.”

You shrugged, you didn’t know why you did that. But the thought of anyone messing with Peter Parker after all he went through was too much for you.

Of course, you two had that grades thing going on, but it was never mean or anything. It was like you needed that sense of normalcy that came with this competition (no, you never admitted it was a competition and you never would).

yourighandle: I just kneed a guy in the balls.

You sent to your ig friend as soon as your butt touched the classroom chair. He replied right away.

spotspidey: you go, girl,

spotspidey: what did he do if you don’t mind me asking

yourighandle: asshole bully honestly I don’t know how anyone did it before

spotspidey: that’s even better omg

yourighandle: I can’t help being so cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

spotspidey: lol won’t disagree

You smiled at that, Spotspidey was a dork. It was weird he didn’t say what his name was, so you also didn’t share any personal info. You weren’t dumb, stranger danger and all that, your mom taught you right, okay?

It was your side ig account, you only posted edits and artsy stuff. Never your face. Never anything personal, apart from your nickname.

You always commented on spotspidey’s pictures because they were awesome and his captions were always the best, so one day you sent him a message on the dm and it all started.

Nowadays talking to him every day was so part of your routine that when it didn’t happen you felt like an important piece of your day was missing.

You went through your day like a breeze after the encounter with Flash, most of the classes were easy, the homework that sucked.

You were walking out of the door after the long school day, you spotted Peter talking to Ned. As soon as you saw him, he saw you too. He jogged to catch up with you and smiled brightly when he reached you.

“So, I heard you defended my honor today?”

“You honor? Didn’t know you had that, Parker.” You teased him.

“I’m glad you’re still you.” He chuckled.

“He deserves that. Someone had to do something.”

“I’m buzzing that “something” to you means kneeing a guy on the balls and not like report his harassment to the school administration.”

“Oh, please,” You rolled your eyes. “They’d never do anything about it anyway.”

“So now you’re the friendly neighborhood bully avenger?” He was trying not to laugh at his own lame joke, oh god this boy was ridiculously cute.

“I like to think of myself as the unfriendly neighborhood bully avenger, please.”

Peter snorted and you let out a low chuckle, damn Parker.

“Spider-man has tough competition now,” He commented. You were walking together to the subway station. How the tables had turned.

You saw MJ passing by and raising an eyebrow with her lips pursed so as not to laugh, you sent her a glare that wasn’t convincing at all.

“He better watch out,” You said flipping your hair off your shoulder.

You two giggled and bumped shoulders. You were trying to hide a smile.

“Thank you,” Peter turned his head to look at you.

“Anytime,” You smiled at him.

“Good thing I can count on you to save me.”

“I wouldn't go that far, but I know a friend who knows a friend that can keep an eye on you, you princess in distress.”

Peter chuckled again, shaking his head as if he found the idea quite ridiculous.

“Yeah, I guess I won’t need that,” He ended up saying.

“Why do I feel I’m not getting the joke?”

“Because maybe you’re not,” Peter shrugged. You elbowed him.

“Hey,” You protested.

You ended up going home together and somehow you were now sharing your earphones with Peter as you jammed to Paramore. People who didn’t like Paramore couldn’t be trusted.

You arrived at home and as you slumped into the couch you shoot a message to spotspidey.

yourighandle: do u like Paramore

spotspidey: duh?!?!

yourighandle: good

yourighandle: our friendship was on the line dude

spotspidey: pfff as if my music taste wasn’t on point

yourighandle: tell me more about it

spotspidey: wow it’s like you’re asking me to strip

spotspidey: strip my soul right on this chat

You snorted out loud. Oh god, he was aDORKable. And by even thinking about this you were also in the dork section right beside him.

You sighed. What wouldn’t you give to know who he was so you could hang out. What if you had already seen him on the street or talked to him, or you two went to midtown. What if you two had classes together or went to the same Starbucks all the time?

The day went by just fine, it was starting to get dark out and you were hungry. Your parents were still at work, something had come up and you were going to get take out from the restaurant two blocks away.

You got your food and you felt weird. You snapped a pic for spotspidey and he replayed the story.

spotspidey: thanks for reminding me how hungry I am

yourighandle: anytime ;)

You started walking home from the restaurant and as you passed through an alley someone grabbed you and put a hand on your mouth.

You tried to scream and kick the guy but he was stronger than you. Maybe thirty seconds passed and suddenly Spider-man was in front of you.

“You should really let her go.” He said, his voice weirdly pissed off.

The guy was stunned and dropped his hands quickly. Spider-man put his hands on your shoulders and down your arms.

“You okay?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” You mumbled, eyes wide still in shock.

The guy started to run away but Spider-man shot a web at him and glued him to the wall.

You were trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself down. It was a fucking big scare and you just wanted to cry. You felt arms around you and stopped breathing for a second. Spider-man was hugging you.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” He whispered to you, holding you close.

“Okay, thank you.” You said shakily.

“Let’s get you home, shall we?” Spider-man said and you just nodded. He wrapped his arm around your waist and suddenly you were in the air, swinging with him.

“I live like a block away,” You said breathlessly.

“Cool, which house?”

“The brownstone apartment building, right there” You pointed at your home.

He took you to the top of the building and let you down.

“Are you really okay?” He sounded concerned.

“Yeah, nothing really bad happened,” You shrugged trying to convince yourself too. “Thank you,” You smiled shyly at him.

“Anytime,” He rubbed the back of his neck. You bit your lip thinking if you should do what you were about to do. You guessed there wasn’t a better time than now.

“Uh, it’s gonna sound really weird considering you basically just saved my life but like I have a friend who is a great fan of yours and like maybe, uh, could you take a pic with me?” You were blushing and speaking really fast. Spider-man chuckled and looked down.

“Of course, c’ mon.” He reached for you and pulled you close.

You got your phone out and snapped a couple of pictures, one you were smiling and the other you were pulling a silly face and Spider-man had a peace sign behind your head. You giggled while putting your phone back inside the pocket of your pants.

“Thank you again, he’ll be thrilled and also thank you for, you know, saving me.”

“Nah, it’s just my job.”

“The friendly neighborhood Spider-man,” You joked.

“I mean, yeah,” He sounded a bit embarrassed.

“Cool, I’m called the unfriendly neighborhood bully avenger.”

Spider-man let a laugh out like it was punched out of him.

“Cool, I mean, if I ever have a bully problem I know who to bring them to.”

“Count on me, Spidey,” You make finger guns and winks at him.

You both giggle and you point at the door. “I better get going, you know, I bet you still have people to save and stuff.”

“I guess my shift is over,” He shrugged.

“Even superheroes have to rest I guess.”

“And do homework,” Spidey said, looking startled right after like he said something wrong.

“Homework is the worst! So, good luck with that.”

You waved goodbye and headed to the door, having your back to the hero.

“Good night, Spidey. And thank you again,” You turned one last time, he was still watching you leave. He nodded his head and waved a little. You grinned at him and wondered how that was your life.

You got home and plated the food. Your heart was still beating fast, you tried to make sense of what happened tonight, shuddering when you thought about what could have happened. Thank God Spider-man showed up. You took a deep breath.

yourighandle: I guess I did your job tonight

spotspidey: how so ma’am?

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: holy shit

spotspidey: that’s your face

spotspidey: by Spider-man’s face

yourighandle: we’re bros

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: I have no words rn

spotspidey: you’re distracting me with your cute face I’m trying to do homework

yourighandle: your face is cute

yourighandle: oh wait I guess that’s not an insult

yourighandle: you're distracting yourself

yourighandle: get down to business

spotspidey: to defeat the Huns?

yourighandle: really?

yourighandle: you gonna hit me w Disney songs and expect me not to distract you?

yourighandle sent a video reply.

Now that spotspidey had seen your face you didn’t have much to hide. Even if he didn’t feel comfortable showing you himself, it was nice to have this new layer to your relationship.

You sent him a video blasting ‘make a man out of you’ and couldn’t care less.

spotspidey: this video will be forever kept in my heart

yourighandle: I am all in your heart already silly

spotspidey: like a murmur?

yourighandle: like a heart attack

spotspidey: that’s mean

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: you’re killing me

yourighandle: maybe that’s the goal

yourighandle: you’ll never know my true plan

spotspidey: I guess I’ll have to call a guy

yourighandle: hope it’s not my bud spidey, he’ll fight for my honor

spotspidey: I’m not questioning that at all

yourighandle: lol go do your homework loser

spotspidey: responsible loser at least

yourighandle: true that

You laid on your bed that night thinking about the three boys you talked to today. Peter was funny and dorky, much nicer than you’d ever expect. Spider-man was caring and so nice, too. And spotspidey was awesome, funny, a complete nerd but in the best way possible. You sighed, what a weird day.

The next day at school was ordinary, for the most part at least. Peter waved at you and smiled brightly, MJ elbowed you because of that and you were sure you’d never hear the end of it.

“Guess you talked to your boyfriend irl.”

“I can’t believe you just said ‘irl’, you’re a basic girl now, MJ.”

She gasped pretending to be offended, at least you hoped she was pretending. She had a too good poker face.

“You get the basic white boyfriend and I am the basic girl?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You pouted, your voice way too close to a whine for your liking.

MJ snorted and gave you a pointed look, one you definitely decided to ignore. You headed to class and it was just as boring as usual until AP biology. It was one of the classes you shared with Peter.

The teacher assigned a project to be done in pairs and chose said pairs. You were developing a project with Peter Parker.

“Hey, partner,” Peter said with a smile on his face, way too coy to fit him.

“Hey, pal.”

“So, project…” He touched the back of his head.

“My house or yours?” You tilted your head to the side.

“Uh,” He seemed to think. “Let’s go to mine.”

“Okay,” You smiled up at him. “Meet me at my locker?”

“Sure thing,” Peter was at the door to leave for his next class. “See you later alligator.”

You laughed, “See you, loser.”

“Hey, not nice.”

“Never claimed I was,” You shrugged, the smile still on your face, it was getting harder and harder to be serious whenever the boy was around.

Peter shook his head and chuckled looking down, when he looked up at you with a bright smile on his face and eyes sparkling you sucked in a breath and bit your lip, forgetting how to breathe for a second.

He left and you finished packing your bag, also leaving for your next class. At least you shared it with MJ.

It was not good that you had this class with MJ, she was teasing mercilessly about Peter and spotspidey.

“God, your ig boyfriend is being cheated on.” MJ had a frown on her face. “I never thought you’d do that, totally surprised and disappointed.”

“What are you even talking about?” You chuckled.

“You and Peter making heart eyes at each other and you misleading your internet boyfriend, duh.”

“Uh, no to both of these statements,” You tilted your head.

MJ chuckled and revolved her focus to the assignment the teacher had asked. Or so you thought. She lifted her notebook and there was a drawing of you and Peter with your chins leaning on your hands and big silly hearts over your eyes.

You laughed and pushed MJ’s shoulders, “C’mon, MJ, lay off, let me live.”

“I appreciate how you didn’t deny anything.”

“I’m not leading Spotspidey on,” You frowned. “We’re friends, that’s all.”

MJ nodded but pointed at the drawing one more time.

“And about Peter, I’m not even gonna dignify you with an answer.” MJ hummed and smirked, you kept looking at each other until both of you cracked and started laughing out loud, the teacher shushing you and giving you a stern look.

“Sorry,” You said and went back to your assignment.

The class was over and with that, you headed back to your locker to leave. Peter was already waiting for you leaning on the lockers by yours. Damn, he was cute. Who were you trying to kid?

He silently waited for you to get your things ready, looking down at his phone at one point and typing fast.

“Let’s go?”

“Sure,” He pocketed his phone and started walking by your side.

“How do you feel about a sub at Delmar’s?” Peter said looking at you.

“Fine by me.”

They headed to the snack bar and got two sandwiches to go, going to Peter’s right after.

“How do you want to do this?” You asked as soon as you stepped foot on his house. Peter blushed, the tips of his ears getting red as well as his cheeks.

You chuckled. “Get your head out of the gutter, Parker.”

“Easier said than done,” He mumbled. You didn’t think you were supposed to have heard that.

You followed him to his room and sat on the bed, opening your backpack and taking the Biology book and your notebook out.

You started well, Peter doing some research on his laptop as you took some notes and included some things from the book, eating the sandwich between one information and the other. Peter started writing the essay with the information you were giving out, it was easy to work with him, he was crazy smart.

Your mind started wandering as you looked at his room. You hadn’t paid much attention when you first got in.

“Oh my god,” You gasped.

“What is it?” Peter sounded concerned, he was frowning.

“You have the millennium falcon lego set IN A BOX?” You were disappointed with him, seriously. “How dare you, Parker?!”

“Uh, sorry?”

“You should be! Let’s build it!”

You got up from the bed and touched his arm, sliding your hand until you reached his hand and pulled him up.

“But the project…” Peter tried to argue.

“Please,” You stretched the word and pouted. “I promise we’ll finish it later.”

That’s how you ended up spending three hours to build half the ship. You couldn’t remember when you had more fun, ‘God, I’m such a nerd.’ You thought to yourself as you laughed at one of Peter’s science puns.

You retrieved your phone to snap a pic to send to Spotspidey on ig, then took a picture with your thumbs up and Peter looking down in the background.

You sent it to him with a smiley face emoji and smiled to yourself before looking up and seeing Peter looking so cute you might cry.

He was holding the BB8 toy with a bright smile on his lips. “This is the cutest thing I have ever seen,” He said.

“Me too,” You must have had a look on your face that gave you away because you had Peter blushing softly.

“Now I have to take a picture of this moment,” You held your phone up and Peter put the little BB8 near his face and smiled big enough for his eyes to get tiny. Your heart warmed up with that picture and you promised yourself you would cherish it forever.

“This is the best picture I’ve ever seen,” You announce before chuckling softly.

You posted it on your story and not 5 minutes had passed before you received a message from Ned.

(yourighandle): leedstheway: the BETRAYAL this has

(yourighandle): leedstheway: I’m disowning Peter

(yourighandle): leedstheway: I’m calling the police on this crime

“I think Ned is upset,” You turned your phone to Peter for him to see the messages.

Peter laughed, “Excuse me,” He took the phone from your hands and took a picture of himself pouting.

You may or may not have melted right there. Maybe MJ has been right with all her annoying crush thing.

Thankfully you had Instagram save all your pictures, so you had Peter’s pout on your gallery. Small miracles and all that.

You two perked up when you heard the front down open and close.

“My aunt’s home.”

“Cool.”

You two continued building the ship until there was a knock on the door.

“Hey!” May said with a smile on her face.

“Hello,” You smiled back at her.

“I’m May, Peter’s aunt,” She waved.

“Oh, I’m (y/n), nice to meet you, May,” You waved back. “We’re working on a biology project.”

“I see…” May raised an eyebrow and you and Peter had the decency to blush. “Okay, kids, I’m ordering Chinese for dinner.”

“Maybe I should go,” You started getting up, your cheeks still red.

“Don’t be silly, have dinner with us.”

You looked at Peter not knowing what to do. “Stay,” He said. You nodded and sat back.

“I don’t think we’re finishing it today.” You pouted.

“Maybe you can come over tomorrow?” Peter touched the back of the neck, looking embarrassed.

“I’d love to,” You smiled shyly. You heard May calling you so you put the unfinished ship to the side. “We should also finish our essay?”

“Of course,” Peter has that sly smile on his face, “I still have to beat you for valedictorian.”

“Only in your dreams, Parker.”

You kept lightly pushing each other before you started laughing. May was looking at you with a knowing smile on her face, turning around when you both looked at her. You would figure it out yourselves.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence, making small comments about the food and how hungry they were.

“I’ll take you home, (Y/N).”

“I’ll be okay!” You brushed it off. “I live like five blocks away.”

“I insist,” Peter pressed.

“No, really, I’ll be just fine! I promise I’ll call you when I arrive home.”

Peter seemed neither confident nor happy about it, the look on his face making it clear, but he let you do as you wished anyway.

You were about one block away when Spider-man landed on your side. You jumped a foot away, startled.

“Waking by yourself at this time, miss?”

“You’re my mom now, Mr. Spider-man?”

“Nah, just your hero.”

“Good, will you take me home?” What? You wanted to swing through the air in Spider-man’s arms! Who could judge you for this selfish wish? Spider-man could, but he didn’t. He actually chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist and shot his web. You went flying through the air securely in Spider-man’s arms.

You two landed softly on the top of your building.

“All safe and sound, princess?”

“If you ever call me princess again I’m going to knee you in the balls.”

“You really have something for kneeing men in the balls,” He said, voice playful.

“It’s what they deserve,” You pause frowning. “How’d you know that?”

“haha, interesting question but now I gotta go, you know, save people and stuff.” And as sudden as he appeared he left. You frowned but got in your building, going down the stairs to your floor.

You called Peter to tell him you’re home safe and sound.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Uh, hey.”

“I’m home, just so you know.”

“Oh, okay, glad you’re safe,” He giggled nervously.

“uh, okay? See you tomorrow.”

“See you, good night.”

“Night,” You said before hanging up.

He was so odd, so not himself on the phone that it was weird. You check your ig for Spotspidey and he had just answered.

spotspidey: haha good fun u had today

yourighandle: yeah it was awesome

yourighandle: the millennium falcon is almost done!!!!

spotspidey: cool

You frowned, why was spotspidey so weird now? Why was everybody acting odd? Maybe it was just you.

The next day wasn’t much different. Peter was clearly ignoring you, on lunch break, you walked to him and he turned red and mumbled he had already finished the essay and Ned wanted to finish building the millennium falcon with him, dismissing you greatly.

You had no reaction but to nod stunned. You couldn’t believe Peter was treating you this way. He had never treated you like this, not even when you were low key enemies.

“Okay,” You whispered before walking away, feeling so utterly disappointed you didn’t really know how to act.

You tried to reach out to Spotspidey, to have some comfort but was left on read. Your eyes started filling up with water and you tried to take a shaky breath and stop yourself crying in the middle of the hall.

MJ saw you and came running. You let her wrap her arms around you and then you couldn’t stop yourself. You cried quietly in her arms. She must have pulled you to the side because now you were by the wall.

You looked up, bottom lip wobbling, “Try taking deep breaths, will you?” Her voice was soft and she ran a hand through your hair.

You did as she instructed and started to calm down.

“What happened?”

“Peter is acting really weird and my ig friend isn’t talking to me either and everything was just fine yesterday but now it’s all crumbling down.”

You felt tears threaten to come back, your voice sounding strangled. You didn’t know why it was affecting you so badly.

“What if it’s something I did? It’s my fault, I fuck everything up.”

“No,” MJ said sternly. “You don’t get to talk about my best friend like that.”

“MJ,” You whispered. “Thank you.”

“Boys are dumb, (Y/N),” She hugged you. “Don’t let them make you think less of yourself.”

She let you go and grabbed your hand. “Now let’s wash this face and get our shit together.”

You chuckled softly and followed her. She was the best best friend you could have ever asked for.

After washing your face and breathing deeply you headed to the rest of the classes for the day and wished for them to go quickly. You couldn’t wait to go home.

When you were leaving you bumped into someone, you looked up to apologize and it was Peter. You shot him a hurt look and mumble an apology, not giving him time to reply and left with your head down.

You decided you would try again with Spotspidey, maybe he was just busy.

yourighandle: hey dude (seen)

You waited for hours deliberately trying not to check your phone. You did all your school work, procrastinated a bit, made dinner with your mom, watched a couple episodes of queer eye to pretend you were crying because of that and not because your online best friend was ignoring you.

He was ignoring you. You were sure of that after the second day he refused to answer your messages. You could see him typing but soon he would delete it and not send anything.

The message you were so anxiously waiting came after the fourth day trying to reach out to him.

spotspidey: leave me alone.

It hurt, but it hurt so much more than you ever thought it would. The thought that he could have been just playing with you, that he had been collecting info, or that it meant nothing to him made it sting.

You were waiting for the pictures of you being silly pop out throughout the school, or on the internet. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. You were waiting for a sign that it all meant something other than you being so easily discarded that it wasn’t even worth a second thought.

All these days when things had been weird you had seen Spider-man. He was always somewhere near you when you went out. As if he was watching over you exclusively. It made you angry.

You saw a red suit pick out of an alley near your house.

“Leave me ALONE,” You said loudly. “Stop doing this weird stalking thing, dude.”

Spider-man got out of the alley with his head down.

“Sorry,” He mumbled. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why?” You laughed bitterly. “I’m just some lame girl you saved once, nothing more, nothing special about me.”

“Don’t- don’t say that, please.”

“It’s true,” You said with finality to your tone. “Now, if you could please stop doing what you’re doing-“

“Why?”

“Because- because seeing you reminds me of people I’d better forget.”

“Oh,” He said softly.

“I’m sorry I’m being ungrateful right now but- but- oh my god,” Your voice broke and you started to cry (fricking cry!) in the middle of the street. “I gotta go.”

You all but ran the rest of the way to your house, feeling embarrassed and just sad.

You put on your earphones, laying on your bed and just as you were about to put some music on you saw a notification that made your breath catch on your throat.

(yourighandle): spotspidey sent a video.

You sucked in a breath and clicked on the ig icon, went to your messages and clicked on his icon. You wanted to delay this as much as you possibly could.

Spider-man appeared on your phone screen and you sat up immediately.

“I know I fucked up, but this-“ He paused to take his mask off. You gasp out loud as you saw Peter Parker’s face, eyes bloodshot as if he had been crying, hair a mess and looking so soft you just wanted to hold him in your arms.

“This is why I disappeared. You knew me three different ways and I thought-“ The vídeo ended. There was another one.

“I thought you’d be disappointed to know they were me. Penis Parker, the loser.” Peter sounded defeated and as if he would start crying any minute. The video was over and you had a hand over your mouth, too shocked to do anything else.

There was another video and a message.

spotspidey: this is me, I know it’s not what you expected.

spotspidey: or wanted anyway

“So like if you could keep this a secret,” Peter had his hand in the back of his head. “I’m sorry, (y/n).”

Your heart was beating so hard it seemed like it was going to pop out of your chest. Your finger moved on its own accord and suddenly you were calling Peter.

“Hel-“ You didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“You’d never disappoint me, Peter Parker.”

You heard him sigh. “You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled.

“Peter, listen to me now. You are the smartest guy I’ve ever met, you’re a great friend, you are so sweet and kind to everyone you meet, you are an amazing person and you don’t get to talk about my best friend like that. You’re funny and yes, Parker, you’re a nerd! But in the best way possible.”

You were a little out of breath because you were speaking fast in case Peter decided to hang up.

“You are everything, Peter.” You finished your little speech.

“I-“ He chuckled sounding self-conscious. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Come over so we can hug it out.”

“Okay.”

You waited for less than five minutes and Spidey was knocking on your window. You opened it and he slipped inside the room.

“Hey,” You watched as he took his mask off.

“It’s really you,” you were still impressed and a bit astonished by it all.

“Yeah,” Peter smiled sadly.

You walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. He melted into it, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you close. Your bodies molded into each other, you fit like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece. You breathed him in and he did the same.

You had your eyes closed and was just enjoying being that close to him. Peter, spotspidey, Spider-man. They were all the same.

You pulled away, hands resting on Peter’s shoulders.

“It might mess everything up,” you said before leaning in and kissing him on the lips. It was just a press of lips at first but then your lips started moving against his and it changed everything.

You ran your fingers through his hair and he pulled you impossibly closer by the waist, fingers slipping under your shirt to touch your bare hips. You split in order to take a breath.

“So…” Peter said.

“That’s that,” both of you chuckled feeling a little embarrassed.

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah?” You asked with red cheeks and a small smile on your face.

“Yeah, I’d like you to do that again.”

“Many times?” You pushed him a little.

“All the time from now on,” He was still holding you and smiling.

“I could get on board with that.”

“We still need to talk, I kept things from you.”

“Aw please, later? We can talk about all the feelings later,” You leaned on his chest, he chuckled hugging you tight.

“What do you suggest we do now, then?”

“Nap, cuddle, make out. In that order, please.”

“Maybe I should change,” He suggested. He was probably right, it would be weird if your parent caught you snuggling someone dressed as Spider-man.

“I’m gonna grab some sweatpants for you and me.”

You rummaged through your closet and you two quickly changed, turning your back to the other to give them a sense of privacy. Maybe it would have been easier to go to the bathroom but it would take longer and you wanted to cuddle that boy to death right away.

You settled on the bed and Peter spooned you. “I don’t know why I have to be the little spoon,” you complained. “You deserve to be held and cared for too.”

It was much easier to say these things when you weren’t facing him, so you just told him everything that was on your mind.

“We can switch later, grumpy.”

“Hey!” You protested with no heat.

You enjoyed being held and could feel his breath on the back of your neck, it calmed and settled you.

“I forgive you,” you whispered suddenly. “If that’s what you need to hear. You were always forgiven, Pete.”

Your voice was getting slower and deeper was sleep took over you.

“Thanks,” was the last thing you heard him say before falling asleep in Peter Parker’s arms.

[decadentenemyturtle]

Follow the Flame

Summary:  After the event's of Ragnarock and a murderous and crasy sister-in-law-I-did-not-know-about Lyra and Loki have things to talk about. And after a break from their relationship and after everything Loki did, is there possibility for a "us"?

Pairing: Loki x Lyra (OC)

Words:3,352

Warning: Fluff... Kinda... Also, ma dude’s are drinking alcohol. Language! (Cap asked me to note you guys for this... Sigh) and you know... Loki.

Autgor’s note: This is my part of arTrade for my friend Herainia. And more over!! Lyra is not my character, but Herainia’s bby!

"How did I end up in a spaceship full of Asgardian's, some aliens, god of thunder, his idiot brother and some hot chick, you may ask. Well, you see, I happened to meet Thor and Loki in NY while they were looking for Odin, their da. And because they asked me "so nicely", I ended up helping them. I also met Doctor Strange, who sends his dearest regards, by the way, and asked me to tell you to go fuck yourself. I think he may still be pissed with you about the incident with the beavers and with, well... you know... with the hot blondie. But deep down, I bet he knew, that she was.... Oh, Thor, hi... 'K, gotta go, see ya later, old fart" Lyra finishes and closes the device, the recording ending and the blueish hologram disappearing.

Thor, who was leaning to the doorway, smiling a little to himself, pushes himself back to his full height and walks casually to Lyra, handing her leather jacket back to her.

"You dropped this" he says with a small smirk. Lyra took it with a playful glare to the god. She hadn't dropped it, just taken it off after getting a bit warm in the spaceship and set it over to a chair, and at some point it had dropped over to a floor without her noticing it. And also, she had to look over the few scathes she had gotten in the fight against Hela. Nothing too serious to let someone else do it.

Thor walked over to the cabinet, taking out big bottle of whatever-was-inside in it and poured it in a glass. Then he threw a look to Lyra and poured the liquid to other glass. Then he turned to give the glass to Lyra, keeping the other glass to himself. Lyra stared at the brownish liquid for a moment, before she lifted her hand and pointed her forefinger to it and moved it up a little.

The liquid in the glass threw up and made few circles in the air like nothing, before it dropped back to the glass. Thor was staring at the liquid and then his eyes lifted back to Lyra, his brows slightly up.

"Really? It's whiskey" he said, before offering the glass to Lyra, who made a snorting like sound before taking the glass.

"I know it is, but you know..." she drank the glass empty at one go and grimaced afterwards. Thor grinned and emptied his glass. "... just had to be sure" Thor lovered the glass slowly from his lips and put it back to table, while his face sobered, and when he turned to look at Lyra, his eyes and his full face, and well, him, were serious, and maybe even a little sad.

He knew about Lyra and Loki, of course he knew. He could still remember the day she arrived to Asgard. The portal had been opened accidently, however that was possible was beyond Thor, and Lyra had come through it. The confused girl had set on living in Asgard well and soon enough after her arrival, and she even charmed the people around her. Even Odin had been fascinated by this girl even when she was a mortal, not only because of her father and his strange powers, but because this red haired girl had powers of her own. She was what they called in her world a Mutant. She could bend water and ice. And Odin had taken an liking of her. And had been even blotting a ways to get her and his son, Thor, together, married. But, that had not happened.

"Well, you know what they say, brother dead, water and thunder don't go well together and they'll cause only death and destruction. Not that I mind about that"  Loki had said, while holding smirking Lyra against him.

And so, it was Loki and Lyra, who fell in love, not Thor and Lyra. Thor had met another beauty few years later after Lyra had arrived to Asgard, and he was happy to be with her. Some people just weren't meant to be together, and Thor was sure that his thunder and Lyra's water bending would have just caused destruction not only to them but others around them.

And when Thor's and Lyra's eyes met, he knew that his brother was better choice to Lyra than he was, despite what Odin thought. And despite all that Loki had done and how he had hurt her.

"So, does the old farth and the other's know where you are?" Thor asked. Lyra sighed and threw the jacket over her, leaving the zipper open. Thor was looking at her and then he laughed a little. Lyra turned to glare at him, her lips turning thin.

"It's not like I had the time to tell them where I was going or whose with I was going, or had time to inform in between everything. They don't even know about the big guy" she grumbled, leaning against the wall. Thor had still a small smile on his lips as his gaze turned down to the floor. It had been a quite a shock for her to see Thor, and especially Loki. They had seperated their ways with quite a big fight. And as Lyra put it, they were on a break.

"Well, you should be informing your friends about your whereabouts, before they start a war against us - or some other poor souls - for kidnapping you" an familiar voice called from the door. Both Thor and Lyra turned to see Loki standing there, with a small, humorous smile on his lips. And before Thor could react, Lyra was already sending the ale to Loki's face, all of it. Thor grumbled and glared at Lyra, before he turned to his brother.

Loki was staring at Lyra with a hint of murderous desire, all the while the ale was dropping from his hair, face and his clothes. Lyra shrugged and leaned back to the wall.

"Had to be sure if you're really here" she just said, swaying her hands. The drops of ale hovered back to the bottle, leaving Loki with a somewhat wet hair and clothes and a hint of smell of ale on him. The murderous look had disappeared from his face, sobering look on it's place.

"Not gonna give me a hug?" Loki offered. Lyra shook her head and pointed at him.

"You smell bad"

"I smell like ale"

"Ya, you do. So you smell bad"

"And whose fault is that?"

"Sorry not sorry"

"You never are"

"Damn right I'm not"

Thor watched the scene before him, how smile grew slowly on both his brother's and on Lyra's face little by little, how they taunted eachother playfully like they used to do before. And Thor smiled. Maybe his brother could change, even a little, god of mischief or not. And maybe, just maybe, he would lessen the stabbing on Thor. And the fake death's? For Lyra's sake Thor wished he'd stopped them. If it was the second chance - or 100th one? Thor wasn't sure - that would change him, Thor was ready to give it - but only if Loki was ready to do it, for Lyra.

"Maybe your not so bad after all, brother" Thor said, looking at his brother with a small smile. Loki turned to look at Thor, a little surprised to hear this from him.

"Maybe not" Loki said after a moment, throwing a look and a small smile to Lyra. "Thor, I'd like to speak with Lyra" Lyra straightened, a little horrified and panic suddenly bubbling in her stomach. Oh they had talked over the past few weeks, but not about them, not like that. They had avoided the talk about them with every cost. And she had a hunch that now it was about them, about, well everything consedering around them. When Thor didn't move and he merely lifted his brow, Loki sighed.

"Alone, so if you would piss off, please" Loki added and Thor looked like he would burst out laughing. He took bottle of ale with him and after he had turned from the door, Loki turned back to Lyra. She wasn't looking at him, and was knaving at her lip. Loki took a deep breath, and walked carefully towards her, but didn't go too near. He knew that Lyra liked her space when she was unconfortable.

"You look good" Loki decided to say and then he nodded towards her clothes. "And those clothes are stylish, on their own way. Suits you better than the dresses of Asgard, to be honest" Lyra looked down at her clothes, the black, worn leather jacket and the red/black colored T-shirt with white skull and text 'rock 'n roll' on it, her jeans where other leg was black and other had red and black crisscross on it, and her black boots. She had always fancied rock themed clothes, and was pleased to hear that Loki liked them, more infact that the pretty dresses she had been wearing in Azgard.

"Thanks, I guess" she said, her cheeks turning in shade of pink, and finally after a few minutes turning to Loki. "You look like yourself, with your latex suit and horns, that now seem to be missing" And they both shared a similar grin. Loki grossed his hands behind his back and then eyed Lyra's clothes, again.

"Those do look like nice clothe's but do not expect me to wear something like that" he said with a small smile. Lyra offered an small smile to him and said nothing. Silence fell over them, threating to get awkward with every second.

"So, umm... What... Umm.. You wanted to talk to me?" Lyra finally decided to break the silence after a minute or so, and the ice. Better get it all done and said now.

Loki turned serious and nodded a little, turning a little away from Lyra. For a whole minute he didn't say anything, probably trying to gather his thoughts or trying to figure out what to say, or how to vocal his thoughts.

"Well, I... suppose I could start with an apology. I know that all I've done in the past was wrong, and how everything I did hurt you. And I know I let you down, how I failed you, more than once, more than.... more than should be counted. So, I'm sorry. So, so sorry" Loki said. He kept his eyes on Lyra, no matter how hard it was to say or vocal his thoughts or his apology. And Lyra appreciate it, she really did. She was thankfull of Loki's apology after everything, but then again... There was the "everything" that he had done, all the lies, his fake death's, killing and.... well, it was in the past now.

Lyra took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It was in the past. And Loki had just apologied.

A simple apology wouldn't, of course, take away everything he had done with a simple snap. But it was a start. And had he not broved his capability to change- or at leas the will to want to change - for better person these past few weeks? Lyra opened her eyes and stared the floor for a second or two, before meeting Loki's sad eyes. He looked like a kicked puppy.

"Can you not look so cute?" she grumbled, and Loki frowned a little before his lip twisted. "You make me feel like a grandma for wanting to pinch your cheek and then give you a candy bar" Now Loki's checks and ears started to take a shade of red and he turned to look anywhere else but Lyra.

As Lyra watched the love of her life, she wondered if this was yet again one of his tricks? Acting nice, apologing, trying to change? Loki was a God of Michieve, he knew how to trick people, their mind and how to make things work for his favor - well, most of the time. The universe and everything in it was just a big playground for Loki, but it wasn’t like there weren't things he enjoyed and loved, like his mother and Lyra for example.

And Lyra knew that people like her, people like mutant's and god's and superhero's, might have a bit difficulty with relationships. There was their powers that might not be accepted by other's or their partner just wanted to use them and their powers for their own benefit, how they had their duty to protect the universe and cancel multiply times their date, and just simply try to fit their life with someone who's superpower was part of their nature. So, if Lyra wanted to make things work out with Loki, she knew she had to take the risk and trust Loki. She might get hurt yet again, but now she knew she wouldn't let him go so easily. Not without her tearing him apart first.

"I hope you know it's a bit hard to trust you after everything, and how hard it is to accept your apology" she started. Loki lifted his eyes to her, swallowing, looking so hopeless and sad, being sure this was where their journey and love together would end. "But... It's a start. Something you've started well" Loki's face turned to a big smile and he looked so genuinely relieved that Lyra had to smile herself. Right now it was so easy to see from Loki how much he loved her, and how much he had just feared to lose her. And for a moment Lyra wondered, what would happen to him, if she had chosen not to accept even the tiniest part of his apology.

"I'm ready to give you a change, to give us a change. But, I do hope you don't expect things to turn back to normal right away" Lyra said as she walked right in front of Loki, who's eyes were locked on Lyra's. He let out a small sigh when Lyra was right in front of him. Of course he knew things wouldn't turn back to normal between them right away. He hadn't expect things to turn even slightes the same between them. In fact, he hadn't even expected Lyra to forgive him at all.

"I know, Lyra. I know. And I know thing's won't be exactly the same as they used to be. I hope they wont be the same. I want to start over, to give a new start for us" Loki said, his voice shaking a little with all the emotions swirling in his heart. And Lyra smiled to him, tears in her eyes, and she nodded. She wanted to start over, too, to give them a new start.

And then, Loki lifted his hand and ran his fingertips lightly over Lyra's cheek. Lyra shivered a little, and she closed her eyes. Then Loki grew a little bolder and pressed his hand to her check and oh! his hand was so warm! Lyra opened her eyes a little just to see Loki to lean a bit closer to her, his lips parted just a little. And Lyra opened her lips slightly, ready for the kiss she knew to get from Loki.

Their lips were getting closer and closer...

And just as they were inches from touching...

Loki stopped, a little, weird noise leaving from his lips, and his eyes widening as big as plates. Lyra stopped, too, and looked him puzzled.

"Loki?" she asked, still eyeing him. But he didn't answer, instead turning to look behind him. And Lyra peeked from behind him, only to see Bruce Banner, aka Hulk, standing in the doorway, his hand still up and a weary look on his face. When an angry and an confused look met his weary one, Bruce tried to smile.

"Sorry, I-" he mumbled, trying to find the right words. When Loki's eyes and whole person turned into a "I-Will-Murder-You" the green mutant seemed to find his words again "Just needed to be sure that he's really here, and not.... just... trying to hurt her" Loki seemed to relax, but only a little. The glare stayed, tho, for Bruce had just interrupted them in the most important time of their new beginning.

"Anyway, I'm happy to se that he's here... and that he left the stone... He... Or never mind. GoodDayAn'Bye" and he was gone, just light that. For a nerd he moved pretty fast. Lyra blinked and opened her mouth to say something. But, alas, she didn't know what to say.

"Green giant monster or no, I will murder him" Loki grumbled and was ready to go after Banner, but Lyra took his arm, stopping him. Loki turned a little to Lyra, trying to be patient, for her sake.

"Loki, please, just... let it go, let him go. You know, he's still weary of you. Hell, most of my buddies will be. So... Just... for my sake, let it go? Please?" Lyra bleaded. Loki turned away from her, closing his eyes. And suddenly he felt his heart being heavier. The realization hit him harder than he wished. Because, if Loki wanted to be with Lyra, he didn't have to just gain her trust, but her friends as well. And her family's as well, he supposed. Although, now when he thought about it... How much did he know about Lyra's family? He did know about her father, a mutant called Wolverine, but... what about the rest of her family.

But gaining the trust of everyone was going to be hard. And who's fault was that? Loki knew the answer, yet it hurt, yet he was hurt, yet he was scared.... But he loved Lyra.

"I'm ready to try, and Let it go, but.... are your friends ready to forgive me?" Loki asked, his voice sounding drained, hoarse. Lyra sifted her legs, knowing dam well how scared Loki must be. And when he turned to look at her, Loki's face confirmed it. He didn't try to cover the fear in his heart, the fear that he wouldn't be forgiven by other's. "And what about your father? Are you sure that Wolverine wouldn't rip me apart because of what I did?"

Lyra sighed and moved to hug Loki. She really didn't know, and how could she?

"We just... We just have to trust them. And, if things turn to bad, we can leave. We don't need to live with guys who don't accept us, and who can't give you another chance" Lyra replied and then lifted her head to look at Loki. And for a while they looked at each other before Loki pressed his forehead against Lyra's.

"Oh, and... What did Banner mean about you leaving the stone...?" Lyra suddenly asked, before Loki could kiss her properly this time. And he sighed, turning to glare the wall. Why, oh why, was the life against one single kiss?!

"When we were at the vault of Asgard, you, myself, and the green guy... There wast this stone I was about to take with me. Buuut...." Loki answered and then he turned his eyes back to Lyra, a little, mischievous smile growing on his lips "Then someone, who was not suppose to be down there, dripped over and I had to save her from falling to an eternity" Lyra's lips turned to a thin line and her head turned a little to her side.

Yeah, she wasn't originally meant to be there, but she had just decided to follow Loki and Hulk. For shit and giggles. And then she had dripped over her own shoes and was about to fall over to her own death. But Loki had been her knight in silver armor and had saved her, apparently abounding some nice stone. Oh well, it was just a stone, right? 

"Well, I was just... following the flame that attracted me towards it" she said, with a slight smirk. And Loki smiled a little to himself and then he leaned towards Lyra and finally their lips met, without interruption.

And for a moment, everything was alright.

[hitchell-mope]

Just put on the movie

And there we go. The dedication is there.

Oh god the rapping.

My palms will be bloody by the time this is over.

But I like the parallels to the first movie

To much auto tune

There goes my heart Disney.

Oh lord that’s high

Bbys. Smee twins

WHY WASNT DIZZY THERE FROM FILM TWO

There’s my child Celia

MY BOY!!!!

I mean Mal has a point.

He thinks it through

I love him so fucking much

Loving Doug’s hair

Rat bastard. Rat bitch. Rat fairy (Adam belle Verna)

Fuck off leah chad Audrey

😍😍😍😍. This version is better then d1

SUCK IT PASTEL COW

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Oh Evie love. Just tell him you love him

FUCK OFF YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

YES WE WOULD PREFER MAL TO YOU YA BITCH

I hate you Adam and belle

Ben and the other three are adorable family

Still hating Audrey. So. Fucking. Much

Love the purple limo

WHY IS TREMAINE NICE. IT MAKES NO SENSE

Bal parent vibes are strong

They shoulda painted the limo roof purple

Dying of cuteness

Proud fiancé Mal. Love it

Fuck off leah

Here’s papa hades. And the ham.

DRAGON MAL. WHOO HOO

Ah well. Nice while it lasted

NOT HER JOB PASTEL COW

So. Much. Ham.

Poor girl. Ouch.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. I still hate her and her geriatric bitch of a grandmother

Oh bitch please. First words out of your mouth were creel. And it ain’t abated

I’m supposed to be sorry for this sad act? I don’t think so

So. Much. Rapping

Oh. SPARE ME WOMAN

Still theft. Throw her on the isle with her grandmother

Lonely and friendless. Because Mal is so much better then you ya limp noodle

Gotta be bad on the back

YOU DESERVE A SLAP AROUND THE FACE YOU SPOILED BRAT

Seriously though. The actual singing is better then the rapping. So gotta give satah her dues

Fuck off grown ups.

YOU PUT THEN THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACD

Blue bitch. Just like always belle

Ok. People. You can see it’s hurting bal to do this. KILL THE BEAST

DONT CRY BABY BOY. PLEASE. LAST TIME ALMOST KILLED ME

Murder. The fucking. Parents

Evie. Evie’s sensible. Listen to your sister Mal.

And here comes the guilt. Like always. The narrative blames Mal

That darn cake

Ah. Pain. Hug them now

And jump scare

Oh god. Shut up Audrey. You’re a sore loser

Eh. The prosthesis look ok

Audrey. Nutter. Ben was more then ready to start the honeymoon when Mal was a dragon. Do you really think a hag would stop him?

😂😂😂😂

Oh boy

That’s a lie and you know it bluey.

At least the bikes have an explanation

Why the red for Evie though

And the mutt speaks

Fuck off Chad. I hate you so much

This bitch again

So shrieky.

Kiss ass

Real original

Jump Jane jump!

So many neck cricks

No one tells him anything

Cella’s right Mal

Overly long gag. But cute

Awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰. At least he’s a good dad

Nice reference

And the fear mongering begins.

And here’s the cryptid. He shoulda died in it’s going down

Psycho bitch pirate whore

Cella’s a troll and I love it

The vehicle needs an oil change

At least he’s sleeping. Though that position can not be comfortable

At long last the reveal.

He’s funny. And hot. (I can see where @mochacake2016 is coming from)

We know! We know

And here’s the music

😂😂😂😂.

He’s got a point

Ok.

THERES NO PHONES ON THE ISLAND QUEEN MAL

She actually sounds like jade west here

So far. Besides the proposal. This is my favourite song. Mostly for Hades great looks. Great voice

And the tambourine

Would be better with purple and blue fire effects. But no. We can’t have nice things. They spent the budget on pirate whores make up

She’s got a point. They both do

LISTEN TO HIM

Proud papa

C’mon girl. Cry

Of course she told her sister

He’s a good king.

T-shirt should be ripped.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. Hate her so much

And. Here. We. Go.

Benny. I love you. But did you not hear what she said to Evie when you first met the vks. Of course not. You were lost in Mal’s eyes.

Oh god. PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND MELT HER

Whore man is probably skunk drunk. Gil’s cute as ever though

Throw hook in the water. And keep it there.

🎶she’s back🎶

And there screwed

He makes feel physically sick

Uma. I love ya. But honestly. Mal owes no one anything. It’s not her job.

No it ain’t

Jay’s got a point

Oh honey

Hook. In the words of the irreverent Captain Jack Sparrow “if the bikes be crashed properly. You be crashed along with it”. Not you Gil. I like you

Mother hen strikes again. Uma ain’t buying what she’s selling

Pure child Celia. (I don’t use this very much but) Gil’s babey (it feels wrong to type£

Chicken arms. No brains. No wit. No dance skills. No rapping skills. Ya basically a walking corpse hook

The dogs giving me a nervous twitch.

I hate the pair of them so no. No sympathy for prince douche bag

Gil makes me cry so simply

Stab the pirate jay. Please. For all of us

Psycho bitch

I want. It. Dead. Brutally. Dead

And more music. If this weren’t Disney they coulda melted them yo pukes of goo and pour it down Harry’s throat.

Oh god

So she can’t count either. Just like her brother

Definitely cha cha slide.

Deep sigh

So much ham.

Here’s a funny idea. How about instead of a bloody pantomime. ACTUALLY FUCKING FIGHT YOU FECKERS

Synchronised armour dancing. That’s new

Oh for fuck sake

Ha ha. Save it for the sob story bitch

What’s next a kick line

Thank god I was wrong.

Hook should be suffocated under the armour right now. Put us out of our misery

Care bear alert

I had to have a flu jab today. And it weren’t as painful as every single nanosecond hooks on screen

Love the platonic affection (I hate the very concept of malvie. What did you expect?)

Mother alert

Don’t eat wild fruit honey

So cute. But so dumb

Oh. Phineas and Ferb reference

Awww babies.

Don’t you dare tell me Mal doesn’t care.

THEY FOUND DOUG

Uma’s so done with care bear bs

More singing. Yay(!)

Please. Remind me again exactly why this is a DCOM. Cause it honestly does not feel like it what with the backstory pirate whores entire existence and the choreography

How has evie not broken a leg in this number.

Believe me Mal and Uma. I feel your frustration they go together like peanut butter and chocolate spread. (Perfectly if you didn’t know)

Where is she going?

She knows how R&J ended right? Double suicide. Why the romanticism huh?

HE IS NOT A RAG DOLL! Though props to Zachary for not corpsing

How can you hate Doug. He’s adorable. Best straight couple ever

There’s ma boy. Rip Harry’s throyatvout plwae.

Ben’s always been hot. But this is definitely working for me.

Awww. Carlos helping his papa

Wet Ben. Yum

Awww. Janelos cuteness.

Love the beard. So good. 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Someone murder the man whore before I do.

He makes me wanna throw up. And I’m not physically capable of doing that

@rpsocsandcanonohmy. I get where you’re coming from. But I also get where Ben is coming from. Sunbeam did get him abducted. And man slut tried to feed him to sharks. So I do understand both points. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though

JUST. EXPLAIN. HIS MIND IS BEAST ADDLED

Shoulda let Ben slash hooks throat jay. You’re slipping buddy

Mal’s eating crow

Hopefully he chad suffocates. Then she’s have done one thing that wasn’t completely worthlessly reprehensible

🎶feelings🎶

And it had to ruin it

Te-am work. As plankton says

Proud sister

Boys are back. (With dude and the mutt in tow)

YAAAAAAAAAY

I hate happy harry. But I do like happy Uma. Eh. Double edged sword

BAL THIRST. FINALLY

Shoulda gone with Janelos. Jarlos is from big time rush

Oh they’re so cute

Poor Doug.

DOUG AND GIL FRIENDSHIP.

So. Update. Might be like Mal. (Definitely loving Ben’s facial hair)

Yawning over chad. So pathetic

Her seat from him douchey mcuseless

Poor Janey

Cats outta the bag

Once again. I kinda understand all points. Yeah Mal shouldn’t have lied. But Uma didn’t really give her and choice. And Evie just kinda assumed. And no one really lets her explain anything.

Hooks still pathetic. Even hurt emotionally I still wanna punch his roger rabbit looking face (Sorry Roger)

Oh dear

Mal. Don’t apologise. You did what you felt you needed to do. And no gives you a chance to explain. Ever.

Yes. You needed to do what you could.

Excellent acting all around as usual

Evie. Look. I love you. Your favourite number seven. But WHY IS IT YOUR SISTERS JOB. WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT MALS PROBLEM

Ha! Evie said it. She said family.

Oh fuck. Taken for granite

More singing.

Monster/story/invincible

I do want to stab Harry in the mouth with the hook

More flashback. Yay(.). Couldn’t they fill out the runtime

Flashbacks. TO THE START OF THE SO G THE FLASHBACK IS FROM. OH FOR FUCK SAKES

More dragon.

Audrey’s performance might make me a vegetarian

How is it not crushed by the claws?

Fire should be green

Yay. Auds dead. Please say yes?

The twins say literally one thing

From magical incantation to vaguely irritating verbal tick. Well alright then

Evie. Why do you sound so sad. It’s a good thing Audrey’s dying. The ultimate price and all that. You should be glad. It’s a good thing

Mal: he’s my father. Ben: shocked face. Me: makes a sound like a boiling kettle

Bye bye facial hair

Die slut

More eating crow

The in laws meet

Exactly hades. Exactly. Knee beast in the dick

God Ben’s so hot.

Bite Adam’s throat out please hades

Should’ve let Audrey waste away. And sent granny to Tartarus to meet her

OH SPARE ME YOUR BLEEDING HEART ROUTINE! I still hate you in a fundamental level

OH FINALLY YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

Nice little family moment

What the fuck is Evie’s dress?

Queen Mal has a very nice ring to it.

Sure you can. You owe them noting. You owe nobody anything

Jay has a pull back braid in his hair. Yay!

“Audrey would be gone”. You say it as though that’s a bad thing

“Insert woody woodpecker laugh”. Fuck you Adam

Compromise. Bring the vks over. And plop Adam Audrey chad anleah on the isle. Sink it into the ocean

Why didn’t Verna bring the barrier down. Oh yeah. Cause then she’d be useful

More singing

At least this takes place in daylight

I still hate harry

Push Harry in the drink please. IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

God I love Ben and Doug

Why the Charleston?

I still hate tremaine

Well. Jane. In ZM. You met Mal. She’s Carlos’s mother in this au

Giljay. It’s cute

So Harry makes me ill right upbto the end. Now he’s related to purple and blue

🎶a bitch is in the dog house🎶. And deservedly so

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Sweet little king

Oh boy

Whore has a turkey neck

This is the end. Good movie. With some unneeded bits. I’m gonna change a lot in ZM part three. And both dedications broke me.