#bc i have so many muses

[ruporas]

it's time to go, my love (ID in alt)

[fearandhatred]

to rome: a play by fearandhatred

(5k words, 1/1 chapters)

While trying to tempt Caligula, Crowley makes a discovery that renders all his efforts for naught. But then it turns out that Aziraphale is here too, so maybe his trip to Rome isn't wasted after all.

***highly recommended to read on a phone because of the Multiplicity Of Line Breaks that just look very weird on a laptop unless your font size is huge

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i've always loved the idea of crowley falling in love with aziraphale in rome. in some ways it really is my roman empire so i figured i might as well make it happen! featuring many shenanigans and an annoying emperor :)

any and all support is greatly appreciated <3

anyway it all started with a dream:

so this is for @eybefioro @captainblou @crowleys-bentley-and-plants who challenged me to write a fic with no angst and also, coincidentally, for that one commenter who asked me on the same day if i would consider writing something happy for once. against all odds and with much difficulty, i have done it. love u guys sm <333

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: this got long sorry 😔 but creepy/perv bakugou, recording, film major bkg x art major reader, masturbation, coercion, dubcon before it just becomes con, voyeurism/exhibitionism

as an art major, you typically did some works for a few students on campus; for their plays, as background pieces while they danced, a cover for their released songs. it wasn’t out of the ordinary for people to ask you to create something for them, and you enjoyed it more often than not. but, you weren’t usually the art itself.

Bakugou is a friend’s friend that you’ve seen a few times, ran into at the library or at coffee shops. he’s a film major, and always looks so unhappy about the whole thing, as if he didn’t choose it himself. you joke to Mina that you think he’ll graduate and become one of those directors that hate everything and yell at the actors constantly and later on get sued for being a dickhead. you never say it to him though—you’ve never spoken more than a couple words to the man.

it’s why it shocks you when he approaches you one day. it’s after one of your painting classes, and he stands outside the door with a frown and his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyebrows scrunched as if pissed at the mere sight of you. he asks you, in that low and gruff tone of his, if you could star in his final project for the semester. says it’s supposed to be a film made with this criteria and that, but, you’ve kind of checked out on the conversation after the first sentence.

“You mean, you want me to create something and that be the star of your film?” you ask him, feeling so intimidated at his stature. he always seems to loom, his hair shadowing the lights above, creates a cast over a portion of his face, makes his eyes look…unsettling. like they’re looking straight through your flesh, can find the marrow in your bones. he scoffs like you’ve offended him, rolling his eyes into his skull, mouth pulled tight.

“No.” his voice is firm, gaze concentrated only on you, like the halls are empty and you’re the focus of his lens. “I want you to star in it.”

his words confuse you—you’ve never presented yourself as an actor before, never alluded to wanting to be in the spotlight if not for what you create with your hands. but he shuffles on his feet, looks desperate even. there’s some hemming and hawing for a minute or so—why not choose Mina?—she’s busy—why choose me?—‘cause you’d be perfect for my short film—what’s it about?—you’ll find out once you get the script.

and even after you hesitantly agree and get the script—you still don’t understand what you’re doing. why you’re here, why you’re the only person, why it has to be a solo film, why there’s damn near zero lines in the entirety of the have-to-be forty five minute film.

the scenes are all so long, and maybe it’s because movies aren’t your forte or chosen major, but you just don’t get it. one scene; you’re staring at yourself in the mirror while Bakugou holds a small, black camera over your shoulder. he’s eerily quiet behind you, whispers out a faint fuckin’ go when you have to wash your face in the sink, makes you do it over because your movements are too jerky and unnatural.

the rest of the scenes go that way; you doing regular at home activities, being put under a lens, quietly barked at to do this and move that way and fix your hair and remember to frown.

“Isn’t there another way to film this?” you ask him on the fifth day of shooting in his spacious loft. there’s a bubble bath scene coming up, one you dont understand the importance of, but Bakugou tells you it’s the most necessary part of the entire thing.

“No,” he grunts out, looking at you from under his lashes as he sits on the lid of the toilet. “But I’ll make it soapy, so the camera won’t see much.” the camera? much? you weren’t worried so much about what the camera captured as you were the man behind it. he looks at you with such intensity, you feel naked already despite the robe you wear that’s suspiciously already your size.

he leaves the bathroom when you sink in the hot water, returns before you can say it’s okay, hears the water splashing and thinks that’s good enough. he kneels on the floor beside you, camera pointed directly in your face, makes your chest hot and your skin feel prickly. the scene passes on regularly enough; you run the water over your arms, tilt your head back as you sigh, whisper the few lines scripted, lean back and close your eyes, sigh again. it’s almost relaxing, makes you forget about the friend of a friend recording you naked right now. almost.

“Touch yourself.” Bakugou suddenly demands, hushed and quiet behind the camera. your eyes immediately shoot open, looking to him in question, how he’s eerily still in his spot hovering over you.

“Huh?” you ask, unsure if you heard him correctly, looking around the rounded lens in your face, trying to ignore the red blinking light. but Bakugou only frowns.

“It’s a masturbation scene. Touch yourself.” he repeats, voice louder, more demanding this time. your stomach twists at the thought of doing something so intimate in front of him. he’s a handsome guy, for sure, even made you consider asking him out after this, figured he was just serious about his work and awkward about certain things. but…something had been off about this entire thing since the start.

“But—but I don’t, I’m not,” you stutter, sitting up a little, the bubbles covering your chest starting to disperse with your movements. but Bakugou only sits a little higher on his knees, finally pulling the camera away from his face for the first time since he’s asked you to do this for him.

“You want me to fail?” he asks, booming voice eerily quiet in the silent bathroom, carmine eyes dull, shaded over with something terrible. “Then do it.” he tells you when you shake your head quickly.

you stare at him until he gets back into position again, camera back pointed at you. when he doesn’t say anything else, you swallow thickly, wondering if the art that will come out of this will be worth it. so you listen, sneak a hand under the water, start touching yourself in a way you never have in front of anyone.

is it bad to say that it’s exhilarating? being watched and recorded by someone who breathes so heavily every time your voice hiccups? being directed to touch your chest next when the suds start to disappear and your nipples start to peek through? is it bad that you want him to send you this portion of his film, only, just so you can watch yourself again and again? make a portrait of yourself with your fingers on your nipples and your knees raising from the water and your head thrown back from the intensity in oil pastels?

“That’s a wrap.” Bakugou announces when you finish, head spinning and still panting. you look over to him, how he closes the camera, the obvious bulge in his pants. “I’ll get you a towel.”

you wonder when’s the next time he’ll need you. or better yet—maybe he could be the star in your final drawing project? you had finished it already but, what was the harm in starting over with him as your muse? as naked as you are? camera not blocking his face so you can paint the similarities of his blushing cheeks and eyes when you direct him to look at you? to touch his chest? to play with himself just like that?

[layzeal]

i absolutely eat it UP that one of the reasons wwx is so hesitant to believe lwj has feelings for him is that he can't tell if lwj treats him with so much goodness and kindness because he's simply that good of a person or if there's ~something more to it~

and!! here's what gets me: he's 100% right to question that. because from all we know, lan wangji would still have protected and done everything he did even if he wasn't in love with wwx. it all comes down to his beliefs, and standing up to them by protecting him. wwx is afraid to jump to conclusions because his fears are genuinely very well based!

[tinystepsforward]

i also realise there's people who are gonna be like "you expect me to believe that tony tinystepsforward is 29, disabled, a sex worker of nearly a decade, worked at automattic for six years, and someone who does as much organising with local trans and prison abolitionist and sex worker spaces as they seem to imply" and frankly you can believe i'm lying if you want, that's your right, just block me or w/e you don't have to be here. but yes i do in fact both work to eat and work for a better world. i just happen to be the kind of person who really struggles with inertia and is always doing a million things. kiasu, as my singaporean friends still call me, though i don't think i fit the classic archetype there at all — it's not a fomo thing as much as a having poor judgement about the feasibility of the ways i want to be generous with my time and energy and skills. i'm working on it. i would like to learn how to rest.

[coolauntlilith]

So I finally watched Sense8. I regret not watching it sooner for a couple reasons. But I'm so glad I finally watched it.

[novantinuum]

when the blind reactors you watch are starting to get into the Nitty Gritty of plot and you are going to have to be Very Careful in your meta ramble comments from now on so as to not accidentally sway their thinking or Give Anything Away

[apollos-boyfriend]

What kinda ultimates do you think the members of QSMP would have?

to absolutely No One’s surprise i have, in fact, thought about this extensively. so here are all the ones i’ve decided on

jaiden is, obviously, the ultimate animator. not only is it true to her, it Also matches up with sdr2’s backstory as to how despair spread (as stupid as i think that explanation was). if they’re in a simulation, it would make sense for a danganronpa au that they were put there for the same reason that the 77th class was to return them to their pre-remnant states. (additionally, i think the explanation for the new arrivals would be that the brazilians, french, etc weren’t captured with the original cast and found later, hence why they weren’t added in at the beginning)

roier calls himself the ultimate spider-man. no one knows his actual talent because he’s ADAMANT on that being it, but they’re pretty sure it’s something akin to ultimate traceur (parkourist) or ultimate stuntman/stunt double.

arin is the ultimate AI, kind of in the same sense of alter ego. except instead of inhabiting a computer, he’s taken residence in luzu

charlie is the ultimate gymnast OR ultimate acrobat. i’m leaning towards acrobat as to not have Too many titles match those of the actual games. inspired by him being el backflipo :]

i think it’d be funny if mariana was the ultimate superhero based on his skin alone. what does that title even mean? fuck if i know! but it’s funny

foolish is, ofc, the ultimate builder.

similarly obvious is phil being the ultimate survivalist

and wilbur being the ultimate musician

bad is currently the ultimate caretaker! i say currently because considering his backstory partially consists of killing thousands with cellbit in the hunger games, i think he originally had a much darker title. not ultimate assassin like maki necessarily, but something akin to it. unlike maki, his new title isn’t any sort of cover-up, and just genuinely what he’s turned to nowadays

i’m not too sure on fit yet, but i definitely want to make him something sports/body-building related because of his gym. maybe ultimate bodybuilder or coach? he’s in that field Somewhere

someone joked about ultimate yandere for forever and ADMITTEDLY i did toy with the idea. as funny as it is, i think he’d more accurately be the ultimate terraformer/landscaper, considering his past clearing of a mountain and current clearing of an entire desert. maybe ultimate yandere could be a secret title, like junko’s ultimate analyst or the ultimate hope title?

pac and mike definitely have matching ultimates in the science field somewhere, considering they’re currently building their laboratory/factory! i’m not sure what exactly yet tho, just that they’re somewhere around there

and lastly, cellbit is the ultimate cryptanalyst/code breaker! he’s individually devoted himself to any and all mysteries, but his biggest strength is by far code-breaking.

that’s all i got so far! i don’t know enough about the other members/don’t have enough to go off of to give them titles sadly :( additionally, rubius doesn’t get his own ultimate because he’s one of the “helpers” (like monokuma, monomi, the cubs, etc)

bonus: the eggs get their own ultimates too :] going off the lil ultimate system being strictly named after classes

tallulah is the lil ultimate music (based on her flute)

bobby is the lil ultimate art (based on his room being full of his + his family’s paintings)

dapper is the lil ultimate woodshop (based on his interest in create!)

richarlyson is the lil ultimate p.e. (based on him wearing a futebol jersey)

[twistedappletree]

I really want to write a short post-canon story about Jin Ling having nightmares from all of the trauma he’s endured, so Lan Sizhui uses his spiritual energy and their connection to guard his dreams one night and ends up guiding Jin Ling through his sleep.

Meanwhile, everything they see in Jin Ling’s dreamscape is lush and vibrant and fantastical without even a hint of anxiety or darkness, and while Jin Ling assumes the entire dream is shaped by Lan Sizhui’s influence, Lan Sizhui is only blocking out Jin Ling’s intrusive thoughts—the rest is all of the light and wonder Jin Ling’s imagination conjures on its own, a glimpse into what his dreams would be like every night if he hadn’t suffered all that he did.

[protect-namine]

funny that when kaido and tsukasa wanted to steal kisa, neji was like, "yeah, go ahead and try! we can even get approval from the principal so it's official! :P" because he knows they can't do it, that kisa will win that individual award and stay in quartz, and it's a great opportunity (in his eyes) for kisa to improve and build confidence by having her participate in activities with other classes

but the moment chui asked kisa to be his jeanne, neji stepped his foot down and was like, "how rude! chui, you can't just demand a student from another class!! the rest of univeil already went over this last summer, you're too late for that!!" likeeee, hypocritical much, neji?? which, chui also says to his face lol. how come you get to transfer to another class, neji-senpai, but kisa can't?

wasn't neji also the one who said that by treating kisa like an object (to borrow sou's wording), kisa herself gained high value?

but I guess it didn't register to neji that chui might take an interest in kisa. which. lol. come on neji, you should've seen that one coming.

I find it interesting how he's suddenly like, "tachibana-kun! from now on, start running for the hills when someone wants to steal you from quartz!!" completely ignoring how he encouraged this specific behavior from other classes in the first place. but, well, amber is just that special, after all

what'a the harm in letting kisa intern in amber for a little while, just like how she joined class practice with onyx and rhodonite for a bit. do you not trust that kisa will stay in quartz after that. do you think chui can actually convince kisa to transfer out of the class tsuki was famously a part of

neji we all know that "just kidding" is codeword for "I'm actually serious but I'm playing it off so no one takes me seriously" boyyyyy you started all of this!!!

[dangaer]

have to admit it following that last post, if we're shipping im 9/10 times rereading the media and looking at certain parts through a ship tinted glass set. i put it on the dash sometimes rather than dms because i'm extremely nervous that i'm going to come off as too much but, you know, i'm working on that.

[queen-scribbles]

Massive sigh of relief as my last teal pen held on just long enough to finish the Ardrali fic😅

[lostmagic]

thinking about the fact that I have loved one direction for over half of my life and dying a bit inside bc of how much they still mean to me

[grimowled]

;ooc

[kotoyin]

I'm piggy backing off of what Rex said but I think it really can't be stressed more that being someone's friend in an RPC does not and I personally think should not hinge on how much your muses interact!!

Sometimes muns click but it's hard for them to put their muses in a scenario together without it being super contrived. Sometimes you have similar interests outside of the comm or have similar headcanons but your writing styles don't mesh well. Obviously we're here to RP but this is a social hobby and thus making friends in and outside of the context of RP is also a major focus!!

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence