#bc i put on a ton of weight

[toastsnaffler]

heard it was butch appreciation day 2day so im posting arm pics on here + no one can stop me >:-)

[flockofteeth]

having a very normal time thinking about how i'm weird & intense to other people

this is why ive gotten bitter in the past at people being like ew who wants to be normal bc like. fucking me actually

like ultimately i probably wouldn't change who i am but it's hard man. i wish i could turn it down a bit

[h0neyfreak]

***

[bluebeary-jay]

How easy you are to need

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel notices that the peaceful life in Jackson has its consequences. he is not happy about it (based on this wonderful ask!)

Tags: TONS OF ANGST, but also FLUFF, established relationship, ahh intrusive thoughts (how much i hate them), Joel is probably ooc but i don't care anymore, also he's soft and insecure and vulnerable

Warnings: body dismorphia and lots of self-loathing on Joel's side, at one (two?) points borderline on smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hihihi, swearing, drinking (just mentioned), suggestive stuff bc apparently i can't help myself 😌

Word count: 8K ! (8028 specifically woah)

A/N: the next fic will definitely be shorter bc i really need to start caring less about the quality of my work, it takes way too long for my liking. buuut anyway as always 🎶i hope yall will like it🎶 this is my birthday gift for you guys 💕

Joel looked at himself in the mirror with furrowed brows.

He pulled in his stomach and tried to zip his pants. It still fit, but barely. He undid the zip, turned to the side and looked at his reflection again, just to make sure.

Yeah. This pair was definitely loose until a while ago.

He glanced at the door, but didn’t hear you coming, so he sighed and looked in the mirror again. Joel was never particularly muscular, but he could no longer see those thin lines which accentuated his torso before. There was also a bit of fat above the hem of his jeans, and his frame seemed somehow heavier…

Good thing his left ear was directed to the door, because he heard the moment the water in the shower stopped running, which meant you were coming back from the bathroom. Joel spared himself one last wary look and zipped up his pants before turning around to your shared bed where his shirt lay discarded.

He was putting his arms into the sleeves when you entered. A couple of light steps, and then Joel smiled when he felt your arms wrapping around his torso. He glanced over his shoulder at you.

“You took your sweet time in the shower,” he pointed out, and he could feel your smile when you pressed your face to his back.

“We finally have hot water, so I’m gonna use it every chance I get.”

“You left some for me?”

You huffed a laugh and went around him, moving his hands away and starting to button his shirt yourself.

“There would be, if you took a shower with me.”

“Next time, sweetheart,” he chuckled and leaned in to kiss your forehead softly, combing his fingers through your wet hair. He hummed. “Your hair smells nice.”

“It’s that shampoo Ellie didn’t want.” You shook your head with a smile. “I have no idea why, it’s fantastic.”

You buttoned up the last button and smoothed your palms over his chest and down, lastly resting them on his waist. Internally Joel furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if he could always feel this fold when you put your hands in that place.

“You look handsome,” you whispered, looking up at him with twinkling eyes and such a soft, love-struck expression on your face that Joel felt his throat constricting. Everything but the sight of you faded from his mind, and he joined his hands behind your back, pulling you closer into his chest and basking in this precious smile you blessed him with. “Especially with the bed hair.”

“It’s your doin’, you know,” he murmured in response, nudging your nose with his and reminiscing how you tugged and raked your nails through his hair the night before. “You gotta be careful with it, sweet girl. If you continue doin’ it, m’gonna go bald soon.”

You hummed noncommittally and leaned against his chest, standing on your tip-toes. “I’ll take it under consideration. No promises, though.”

Joel lifted his hand to the back of your neck and kissed you slowly, reveling in the soft sigh that left your lips. You rested your palm above his heart, leaning forward to the point that you would fall over if he wasn’t supporting your weight.

But Joel held you tight and close to his body, gladly steadying you as you deepened the kiss, once again tugging on his graying hair in that way he adored. He wanted to tease you about it, but his thoughts strayed to the image of his body again when you lowered your hand from his chest to his side.

“You remember that tonight is this party?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Joel gave up pondering about his physique and sighed heavily at your question, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Yeah, I remember. Regrettably.”

“I don’t want to go, either,” you whispered with guilt, as if someone would hear you both. “But Tommy really wanted us to come and… Just don’t make me go alone.”

“Hey, darlin’.” Joel took your face in his hands and looked deeply into your eyes. “I promised, didn’t I? M’not gonna leave you there on your own.” He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against them. “And mind you, I gotta make sure no one will try to seduce and steal you away from me.”

You giggled, and you were standing so close that Joel could feel your eyelashes tickling his skin. He held you close when you tried to take a step back, and your lips collided again.

“That is the one thing you don’t need to ever worry about,” you murmured quietly into the space between you two. “How could I even look at other people when I have you all to myself?”

Joel’s reflection in the mirror flashed across his mind again and a small wave of uncertainty rippled through him, but it quickly disappeared when you opened your eyes and looked at him with this raw love radiating from them. Your every word, every affectionate gesture only confirmed his conviction that you meant every word you said.

So why did he still feel so uncertain?

*****

Life in Jackson was perfect. Considering the state of the world right now, living here was like winning a lottery.

Joel had a lot to be thankful for, he was well aware of that. No longer had he any fears or sense of guilt about going to sleep and leaving you and Ellie defenseless if something were to happen. He didn’t have to count rations anymore, worrying that the kid would be forced to march all day hungry. There was now no need to keep a watchful eye for new clothes if someone’s worn off, ripped or got soaked from walking in the rain, posing a threat of you or Ellie catching a cold.

Back in Boston it wasn’t much different, though he and you had at least a bed to sleep in, as uncomfortable as it was. But there was never enough food for all those people Fedra kept there, and the winters were cold as hell, leaving at least one of you a bit sick every year.

None of those things were keeping him awake at night anymore. The only people he had to take care of – you and Ellie – were safe and comfortable. None of you had to starve or freeze, and you all didn’t have to continue walking across the country for days and days without end, struggling to survive.

Maybe that was the problem.

Joel wasn’t stupid. He knew that those luxuries he had an access to now were at the root of his problem. Before you all settled in Jackson, you were constantly on the move, fighting for your lives in one way or another, so of course he was… leaner and more fit back then. It was never something he paid attention to, though, never something he concerned himself with.

But now you three were living here, surrounded by more people than Joel could count, and he couldn’t help but… notice things about them.

Especially about all those men and women who looked at you in a different way.

Due to the nature of the party Tommy invited them to – mainly consisting of dancing and talking in the biggest bar in Jackson – Joel had a lot of time to ponder about his situation, all while nursing his drink and looking at you from across the room with his elbows resting on the table.

You were chatting with one of your friends near the counter, laughing and smiling so beautifully. No matter where Joel’s eyes strayed, they always came back to your person, as if you were the moon against the pitch black sky, reflecting some imperceptible light.

Some guy he knew by sight – Chuck? Bart? – walked up and tapped you on the shoulder, and from what Joel could tell, he was offering you a drink. He was standing way too close, though, and you took a step closer to your friend, shaking your head. Chuck – or Bart – persisted for another half a minute, but eventually shrugged and shuffled off, his movements tense.

Joel didn’t move. He knew from experience that you’d let him know if you needed his help.

As if sensing his gaze, you turned your head and sent him a radiant smile. He mirrored it, lifting his glass slightly like he was toasting you, which made you do the same before resuming the conversation with your friend.

His smile disappeared as soon as you stopped looking at him. Joel sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers, feeling a headache coming from the dull lights and loud chatter all around.

It were moments like this when it hit him just how old he was compared to you.

You were a sweet, young thing. Funny, sharp, drop-dead gorgeous… No wonder some people were seeking your attention. That guy was just one of the half a dozen he saw or heard about since you moved to Jackson.

Joel knew you were a loyal sort – God, he knew that, he knew you for so long now – but every time he saw you talking to someone else, his treacherous mind started to wonder if he wasn’t somehow keeping you chained to his person.

It was probably alcohol talking, but Lord, if he wasn’t reminded of how old he was compared to you every time he saw you next to your peers. You still had so much life ahead of you, and he was pushing sixty, for fuck’s sake. Before long he’ll be old and decrepit, unable to bring something useful to the table or help you in any way, and you’d still be as pretty as ever, trapped in a relationship with an old man.

For example, that guy – Chuck, or whomever – was way closer to your age, had handsome features, and Joel knew for a fact he was working at tree felling, so he had to be muscular, too.

Joel was once, too. Once.

He subtly ran his hand across his stomach under the jacket, his brows furrowed, and leaned back on the bench to get rid of those damned fat folds.

He sighed and downed the rest of the liquor in his glass, trying very hard not to think about it, not to put himself down like that and let those cruel thoughts fester in his mind, but no matter what, he couldn’t stop comparing himself to this guy, and also… how you looked next to him.

Shit. What if he was doing you more harm than good by continuing to stay with you?

“I could pickpocket you and you wouldn’t notice.”

Joel looked up, abruptly pulled out of his thoughts. You were standing over his table with your head tilted and still that beaming smile on your face.

“What are you thinking about, handsome?”

He opened his mouth, glanced in the direction of the bar, and closed it. There was no sign of any of the people you just talked with.

“Nothin’,” he replied, maybe a little too dryly, so he quickly changed the subject. “You havin’ fun?”

“Yeah, it’s nicer than I thought.” You looked around and then spotted the empty glass on the table in front of him. “Do you want me to bring you another one?”

“No, there’s no need,” he grumbled, but you had already put your drink down and sent him a wink.

“I'll be right back, baby.”

Joel hissed your name but you just looked over your shoulder with a smirk, swinging your hips provocatively to the music and ignoring him completely. He sighed heavily, slumping in his seat.

He needed to get his shit together. Fuck his insecurities, he didn’t want to take his frustration out on you when you were nothing but a ray of sunshine in his life, always so good and affectionate.

Joel’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when he searched for you in the crowd and noticed another man, this time one he didn’t know, swinging his arm over your shoulders while you waited at the bar. He tried to read your body language from here, but you didn’t seem particularly uncomfortable with the man’s actions. Joel furrowed his brows, a pit of uncertainty forming in his stomach again... but then you threw the man’s heavy limb off your shoulders and went back to Joel’s table as soon as you got the drink.

“Thanks, darlin’,” he murmured, taking a large gulp despite telling himself earlier that he was done drinking for today. “Were you okay back there?” He pointed his chin towards the bar.

You sat down next to him and smiled innocently. “Whatever do you mean?”

Joel knew you long enough to recognize when you were teasing him, and he smirked despite the doubts swirling in his mind.

“Was that guy givin’ you any trouble?” he asked lazily, deciding to play along.

“Would you beat the shit out of him if I said yes?” you asked with your eyebrows raised, and Joel shrugged, acting nonchalant.

“Probably.”

You giggled and bumped his shoulder with yours playfully.

“Then no. Peter’s a good guy. Just a little,” you seemed to be looking for the right word, “uhm, persistent.” When Joel sent you a dubious look, you rolled your eyes and made a face. “He’s politely hitting on me, but doesn’t get that I’m not interested. He works at the same place I do.”

“If he keeps makin’ you uncomfortable, that’s not very polite.” You squinted at him and Joel lifted his hands in fake surrender. “M’not sayin’ anythin’. You can take care of yourself, I know that.”

You hummed melodically and glanced at the bar, then back at Joel. Then back at the bar again where that Peter guy stood. Joel noticed you biting the inside of your cheek, so he gently nudged your knee with his.

“What’s on your mind, sweet girl?”

“Maybe you could help me make it clear that I’m taken?” you blurted out quickly, making him crack a smile and chuckle under his breath.

It was so very easy to forget about all the problems in the world when you were there, sitting right next to him and warming his soul and body with your mere presence.

“Come ‘ere,” he breathed and tugged you gently to sit on his lap. You faltered, but he gave your hand another light tug, and finally you let him guide you, putting one arm around his shoulders and making yourself comfortable.

Joel’s hand mindlessly went to rest on your thigh and he rubbed it comfortingly. That Peter guy, as he noted with satisfaction, was staring right back at you, eyeing the way your body was pressed flush against Joel’s with a twisted face.

Once the eyes of the both men met, Joel leaned in and kissed your neck, keeping eye contact the entire time. Peter turned away, taking a large swig from his glass.

Joel felt your muscles relaxing, and you giggled adorably next to his ear at his antics, hiding your neck between your shoulders when he nibbled at your skin lightly. Then your hand covered his, the one lying on your thigh, and stroked his skin lovingly.

Maybe Joel was keeping you chained somehow. Then again, he was but a selfish creature after all. He didn’t know if he could bring himself to ever truly let you go.

*****

The next few days – which then turned into weeks – Joel spent wondering. Mostly about what to do with his predicaments.

He had a couple of them.

The first problem was the nights. They became more difficult since he noticed… details about himself that weren’t there before, and which bothered him more and more with each day.

Joel used to love the nightfall, especially since you all settled in Jackson. In those evening hours no one bothered him, he could finally relax, spend some time alone with you, and later collapse on the bed to get a good-night sleep.

Well, not anymore.

The bedtime unexpectedly became the most stressful one for him. He was so fucking mad at himself, because laying down and having a chance to hold you in his arms was something he treasured for the longest time, but now his own insecurities stood in a way of it.

You loved cuddling and being close to him in your sleep, and Joel was never bothered by it – hell, he initiated those moments more often than not. But now he started noticing more and more how this layer of fat on his stomach moved and looked like when you draped your arm around him or snuggled closer to his chest, and it became all he could think about.

It bothered Joel so much that he started wearing a t-shirt to bed, even though he hated it with all his passion. When you asked about it, he lied that he’s cold, but in reality he was always sweaty by morning. It didn’t seem to make any difference to you, though, and you didn’t shy away from pressing your body close to his, and even slipping your hands under his shirt when you were spooning him. Some days Joel was waking up with you lying on his chest or having your arm slung across his belly, and every time it caused a lump in his throat.

He knew you didn’t mean anything bad by it – for God’s sake, you probably didn’t even have any idea that he had a problem with himself – but what once was a wonderful start of the day, now became a bitter reminder of all those things he was insecure about.

Recently he built a habit of waking up before you – he did it often before, but he always stayed in bed and waited for you to open your eyes, too – and carefully disentangling himself from your embrace. It wasn’t like it didn’t feel wonderful to be enveloped by you in this way, but once he stirred awake, lying still was a herculean task. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, his skin was itching and buzzing, he was sweating from nerves and a lot of horrible, self-depriving thoughts were flooding his mind.

So once he woke up, he’d go take a shower, trying to be a little bit louder than necessary in hopes that you’d already be awake when he gets back – so that he wouldn’t feel so guilty about not laying back down next to you.

The second of his problems was that you began to watch him more closely.

He didn’t know when it started happening, but in hindsight he realized it was just a matter of time – he was acting weird, after all, and you knew him too well not to notice anything.

A couple of times in the last few days only, Joel caught you staring at him in silence. Your eyes were solemn and your forehead sad, though you were quick to smile and act like nothing was amiss as soon as he turned your way.

You must have known something was wrong, but Joel didn’t ask about it. Honestly, with all that was happening in his own head, he didn’t want to know.

But at the same time it was as if nothing odd was happening. You were your usual self, a blessing in Joel’s life, and you still sought to be close to him and spend as much time together as possible. You still told him you loved him, surprised him with unexpected gestures of affection…

Just like today – you hugged him from behind while he was dressing up, started kissing his shoulders so tenderly and murmuring sweet nothings into his skin… In those moments Joel could almost forget about everything that was nagging him. It was easy to believe that you still liked the way he looked, that he was deserving of you, when you treated him with nothing but overwhelming love.

But the itch in the back of his mind never really disappeared. Even though he wanted it to.

Those thoughts filled his mind while you were sitting on his lap, telling him some story from work in a soft voice. You two were at Tommy’s, waiting for him to get back from helping his wife with something, and the day was so beautiful that you all went out onto the patio in front of the house to enjoy the unusually warm weather for this time of the year.

Joel’s hand was on your thigh, stroking it absentmindedly, while he nodded to whatever you were saying, but for the life of him, he could not focus.

Has your physique changed as well? Joel didn’t care about those things, of course, and in his eyes you were as breathtaking as ever – maybe even more, since so many of your worries disappeared and he got to see your smile more often. And you still felt perfect under his hands when he was holding you at night, still looked like a goddess every time he got to admire your naked body.

But even though he wouldn’t have cared either way if you gained some weight or looked any different, his body still bothered him.

You rested your head on his shoulder, and Joel fixed his attention to the wind-blown tree crowns in the distance.

Maybe he should start exercising.

Joel never liked the idea of waking up early and running down the streets in a sweat-soaked t-shirt, or going to the gym where everyone seems to stare and judge you, but it was never necessary.

With how much traveling, heavy-lifting and working he had to do, he never concerned himself with the way he looked. Hell, these things are the last on your mind when you’re fighting for your life in this god-forsaken world. But here, in Jackson, it was different. Life was good, and you were happy. And as stupid as it sounded for him, Joel wanted to look good for you.

Maybe he should ask Maria to assign him to extra patrols. He already volunteered for the morning ones, but perhaps…

“You’re quiet.”

Joel didn’t realize you stopped telling your story. He pressed his lips together and his hand on your thigh stilled.

“Sorry.”

“No need for that,” you reassured him quickly. Then you cupped his cheeks and lifted his head gently. “I don’t mean ‘now’, though, I mean… lately, in general.” Your eyes were flickering across his face, like you were hoping to read the answer from his features. “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

No. Hell no. It was bad enough that Joel himself was aware of his issue, he didn’t want to make it even more noticeable by pointing it out to you.

Which reminded him – he moved his torso away from you only a few millimeters.

“No, babygirl,” he answered. He brushed some hair behind your ear, smiling softly even though inside he despised himself for lying to you. “Everythin’s fine.”

You didn’t seem convinced and still were studying his face with concern. Joel resumed petting your thigh, wanting to put you at ease. He could worry about himself, but he didn’t need to concern you with his problems, too.

“I promise,” he added. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

That look in your eyes didn’t disappear, but you hummed and dropped your hands. It didn’t take a genius to know you didn’t believe him.

“If you say so,” you answered at last, and then covered his hand on your leg with your own. “But remember you can talk to me whenever you want. About anything.”

Jesus, your kindness was only confirming his concerns if he was the right person for you. Joel shook his head with a crooked smile.

“You’re gettin’ sappy.”

“It’s because I’m worried,” you shot back without skipping a beat, swatting at his chest with the back of your hand. “And you’re not making it any easier.”

“There’s nothin’ for you to worry about,” he repeated, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. But he failed.

You pressed your lips together and then made a move to get up from his lap without a word. Joel held onto you delicately, not letting you stand up.

“Wait, darlin’,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “Didn’t mean to say it that way. I just… feel tired. Sorry.”

Your eyes softened when you took in the regret and weariness on his face. Joel felt your fingertips on his jaw, but before you could question him further, Tommy returned from the inside of the house with a grin.

“Age is a heavy burden, eh, ol’ dog?” he teased, apparently having heard the last bit of their conversation. The younger Miller placed three bottles of beer on the table, and winked at you. “That’s just how it is for us now. Enjoy your youth while you still can, punk.”

Joel felt a sharp jab in his ribs, not unlike being stabbed. He couldn’t find it in himself to look at his brother, less alone laugh at his teasing.

Of course Tommy didn’t mean anything bad by it, but his words were just a bitter reminder of the ever-present pit of Joel’s stomach.

The weight of you on his lap suddenly felt a lot lighter, and he himself felt so, so very heavy and tired.

Old.

Joel could feel your eyes boring into his face, but a second later you turned to Tommy, taking the burden of filling the uncomfortable silence.

“It’s already started for me. Sometimes I feel like my bones want to kill me prematurely.”

“M’sure Joel won’t let that happen. He’d fight your skeleton if you said it’s botherin’ you.”

You snorted and shook your head, but your smile faltered when you turned to Joel again. He almost broke down right then and there from the guilt and tightness in his chest.

And the dark feeling inside him just grew when your eyes stayed sad and concerned for the rest of the day.

*****

It had to end.

Joel could no longer pretend everything was alright like he wasn’t dying on the inside every time you did as much as hold his hand. He felt horrible about lying, avoiding spending time together and denying you affection he knew you so loved receiving.

If he was being honest with himself, he wanted this affection, too. Undisturbed with self-doubts and guilt.

He fucking craved it.

Those last few weeks, his evenings were mostly spent away from you and the warmth of your shared home. The nights, on the other hand, when he would sneak in and quietly lay down next to you (but just a little further away), became full of intrusive thoughts and wallowing in self-loathing.

No matter what excuse he came up with, you were persistent in holding and being close to him during the night, and Joel discovered that the only way to prevent you from doing it was to come to bed after you’ve already fallen asleep.

But it was a damn torture.

The worst part was when he was coming home to the sight of you lying amongst the tangled sheets and blankets in his bed. No matter if you were drooling or a pillow has imprinted itself on your cheek, every time this sight made Joel weak in the knees. You looked like a gorgeous, priceless painting, and it pained him to disrupt your rest with his arrival.

He tried to volunteer for evening patrols, because then he’d have a real reason to come home late, but not only Maria didn’t want to pair him with anyone during those hours – she also suspended him from all patrols whatsoever. Joel was understandably furious, but the damn woman threatened to tell Tommy about it if he kept being ‘a stubborn pain in her ass’. She sent him back home, murmuring something about spending more time with you, which he tried to pretend he hadn’t heard.

Joel sighed, sitting up on the edge of the bed and hiding his face in his hand.

If Maria of all people could see that there were some problems in your and Joel’s relationship, then you had to notice, too.

Christ, he was the worst.

Joel didn’t want to push you away, of course not. He wanted to stay with you more than anything, but that desire did nothing to diminish the guilt suffocating him. For some time, he felt like the luckiest man alive, having the privilege to call you his and every day come home to you. But now with all those little things he started to notice, he felt like a fraud.

It wasn’t even about him not deserving you anymore – it was that you didn’t deserve this fucking treatment he was giving you these past few weeks.

Fuck, he had to tell you the truth. About the patrols, sneaking out, distancing himself, all of it. He couldn’t bear lying to you a day longer.

Joel stood up and pulled his sweaty t-shirt over his head. He wrinkled his nose at the smell and patted himself under his armpits and on the back, then reached for a clean one.

He’ll figure it out. He just needed some time to come up with a way to–

“Morning, handsome.”

Joel flinched and turned around quickly, not having realized you were awake, but whatever excuse he had in mind, it fell dead on his lips.

You stretched with a groan, reaching one arm high above your head and rubbing your eyes with the other hand. A sleepy smile danced on your lips when you looked back at him with sparkles in your slightly puffy eyes, and Joel didn’t have any other word to describe you than ‘ethereal’.

“What are you doing?” you asked groggily, relaxing against the pillow and looking him up and down.

“Uhmm…” he hesitated, clutching the t-shirt that was in need of washing close to his chest. His gaze was drawn to the window. “Goin’ out, actually. I’ve got some work…”

“No, you don’t,” you interrupted him and swung off the covers from his side of the bed. “Get back here.”

Joel looked at you with surprise.

“What?”

“You heard me, Miller. Get your ass back on the bed.”

He crumpled the shirt in his hands, hesitating, but his eyes softened as soon as he looked back at you and your raised eyebrows – like you were challenging him to just try and refuse you.

But how could he, when you looked so pretty lying in his bed and demanding to have him close to you? How could he ever deny you anything?

With a defeated sigh, Joel started putting the t-shirt back on, but the sound of you humming in protest stopped him. Your face was grumpy when he glanced up.

“Nah. No shirt.” You extended your hand in his direction, making a grabbing motion. “Come here.”

Joel didn’t move. “Why?”

You rolled your eyes and dramatically flopped down onto the pillows, looking up at him with an adorable pout.

“Because it’s been a long time since I got a chance to admire my handsome, sexy man,” you answered with sincerity, and then grinned. “Now come here. If you ditch your shirt, I’ll consider ditching mine.”

He still didn’t move. You were patient, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to do anything, you sent him a small, sweet smile. “If you get cold again, I promise to do something about it, love.”

Joel physically felt his heart softening at your words and at the sight of you.

With a silent sigh – and only a split second of hesitation – he took off the t-shirt and quickly laid down on his back next to you. He felt a bile rise in his throat, though he had no idea why, and it became almost choking when you shifted closer to him, putting one hand on his chest.

“You’ve deprived me of this beautiful view for too long,” you whispered, kissing the place below his collarbone, and then going up to the base of his neck. “I missed seeing you like this.”

“There’s nothin’ to miss,” Joel muttered, not moving a single muscle. He had his hands entwined on his stomach and to look in your direction was the biggest effort anyone could demand from him now. “We sleep next to each other every night, sweetheart.”

“You know what I mean,” you breathed into his neck, leaving love bites wherever your lips strayed. “You’re going out so early these days. And you work late.”

“Patrols,” Joel grunted with gritted teeth, his muscles tense and breathing ragged as your warm palm caressed his waist. “Sorry.”

“You work too hard, love.” You sat up and swung one of your legs over his lap. Joel actually shivered when you took his hands in your own and placed them on your hips. “Let me help you relax.”

Oh, fuck.

Jesus fucking Christ, Joel was sure he was going to drop dead at any second now.

“Darlin’…” he began, but you made a noise in your throat and leaned in to kiss him deeply, pressing your body to his. Joel loved when you initiated those moments between you two, and you looked so fucking hot sitting on top of him – but for the life of him, he could not relax.

“It hits me every once in a while how lucky I am to have you,” you whispered in such a sweet, adoring voice, like you didn’t hear him. You pressed your lips against his stubble again, igniting every inch of his skin with your touch. “Let me enjoy you. I love you so much, you know that?”

“I…”

I love you, too.

Lord, he loved you so much. Why was it so hard to return your affections, then? Why did he feel like the biggest crook by letting you love him?

Joel let out a shuddering sigh he didn’t know he was holding when you pressed your lips to the edge of his jaw, before capturing his mouth in a kiss. It was sweet, but heated at the same time and, without even thinking about it, he found himself wrapping his strong arms around you, bringing you closer to his chest. You smiled against his lips and murmured something he didn’t quite catch.

A groan escaped him when you bit his lower lip lightly, your soft palm going down, from his chest, to his stomach, down…

He couldn’t do it.

Joel abruptly rose to the sitting position and grabbed your wrist, his eyes sad and painful.

“I’m sorry, baby” he said with furrowed brows, gently setting you aside and off his lap, before standing up quickly. “I’m so sorry, babygirl, I love you, I promise, but I can’t… I don’t feel good today. I’m sorry.”

“Joel…” you started, but he shook his head, putting his t-shirt back on and turning away from you not to let you see the absolute wrecked expression on his face and wetness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he kept saying, feeling like he’s about to throw up from the nerves and the burning shame. He cursed himself internally, wanting to turn around, to take your face in his hands and kiss you deeply, but he… he... “I’m so…”

All strength left him in a blink of an eye and suddenly he slumped on the bed, hiding his face in his hands. Joel desperately tried to get a grip on himself, but his chest felt so tight, and all the worry, all the guilt and fear, and self-loathing came crashing down on him all at once.

“M’sorry, darlin’,” he whispered hoarsely, his lips trembling and that damn muscle in his cheek pulsing when he felt the mattress dipping and your tentative touch on his face.

“No, no, baby, it’s alright,” you started saying quietly, trying to take his cheeks in your hands, but he didn’t let you. “Oh, Joel… Come here.”

You gently pulled him into your arms, guiding his head to rest in the crook of your neck. Joel hid his face in your skin, realizing with dread that his own shoulders were shaking.

For God’s sake, he needed to stop, he needed to put himself together and not show any weakness–

But it was you. It was your warm embrace and your loving hands brushing his hair, and your quiet whispers while you held him. It was your kindness and understanding, and stubbornness coming from love. You weren’t someone he had to hide from.

So he let you in. He let you hold him.

“Joel, please. Talk to me,” you spoke up after some time, and though your tone was soft, it somehow sounded too loud in the silence of the room. “I need to know what’s going on with you, you’re worrying me.”

“Nothin’ is goin’ on,” he answered out of habit, not even moving a muscle. “I just… fuck, sorry.”

“Stop apologizing and talk to me.” Joel pursed his lips, while you massaged his back gently. “Whatever it is, we’re gonna get through it together, okay? It’s gonna be okay, love, I promise.”

He planned on telling you. He wanted to tell you and get it off his chest, but… he wasn’t ready. Not now. Not when he broke down in front of you, for fuck’s sake.

But you deserved to know. If not to help him, then at least to make you aware of what you’ve gotten yourself into. It wasn’t fair to keep you in the dark and at arm’s length because of his absurd fears.

He wetted his lips and inhaled softly, but no words came out.

You gently lifted his head and Joel immediately squeezed his eyes shut, knowing there was no way he’d be able to say anything if he looked at you.

“You can tell me, baby,” you whispered sadly, touching the side of his face. “Anything. I promise everything will be alright.”

Joel was silent for a couple of moments, before he swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm down his pounding heart.

“I don’t have any extra work,” he started very quietly, so his voice wouldn’t break. “I was lyin’ to you, and I… I’m so sorry about that. I don’t get sent on any patrols now, actually…”

He shook his head and sighed heavily, faltering. He knew that wasn’t the problem, and although lying to you was one of the things he was guilty of, it wasn’t what started all of it. And you must’ve known it, too, because you kept looking at him, not saying anything.

“The thin’ is, I… God dammit,” he murmured, turning his head away from you and hiding his face in his hands, still keeping his eyes closed. “I can’t… I don’t– I have a problem with myself,” he finally blurted out, not even caring now if you understood his muffled words. “I keep…”

Fuck, man, just say it.

“I’m… I’m not as fit as I used to be,” he murmured, not moving an inch in fear that you’ll spot the wetness on his eyelashes. “I don’t want to do you harm, darlin’, keepin’ you from… Jesus, I don’t know. From livin’ your life, happily and to the fullest.”

“Joel…” You whispered with pain in your voice. “Is this what it is about?”

Joel shook his head, letting out a shuddering breath, still as quietly as he could.

“I’m old,” he said with tiredness he didn’t know he had in himself. “And you… You’re so pretty and young, I…” He lowered his forehead onto his hand, rubbing his temple. “I would like nothin’ more than to spend the rest of my life with you, darlin’. But I’m afraid I’m not… not good for you. You could do so much better–”

“Hey. Hey, none of that.” You forced his hands away from his face by cradling it in your own palms. “There’s no one else I’d rather share my days with.”

Joel just shut his eyes tighter, trying to contain the tears that started to gather in them.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. “But in a couple of years I’ll be… God, I’ll be fuckin’ sixty, and you–”

“Do you really think I care about that?” you asked softly, brushing your thumbs under his eyes, but he shook his head, like you didn’t understand. “Joel, I love you more than anything in this world. And I know you love me.” He heard the faintest smile in your voice, and it made him feel so, so terrible with himself – that you were trying to make him feel better when you shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have been another one of your worries… “So where’s the problem? I want to be with you. Only you.”

Joel pressed his lips together and before he could stop himself, he draped his arms over his lap, like he was trying to hide the evidence of his insecurities from you, even though his torso was already covered by the t-shirt.

“You’re young and beautiful,” he repeated, still unable to find strength in himself to look you in the eye. “And I’m anythin’ but. I just don’t wanna…”

Joel didn’t know what else to say.

He didn’t want you to leave. He didn’t want to spend another night apart from you. He didn’t want to push you away.

“Just don’t want you to be unhappy,” he finally murmured.

You let out something between a short chuckle and a stifled sob, and your fingers found Joel’s, still wrapped around his stomach.

“Do I look unhappy to you?” you asked, almost in disbelief. Joel finally willed himself to glance at you, if only to see for himself – which turned out to be a mistake. Your eyes were sad and teary, but not full of hurt or distaste like he feared, and you still had this faint smile on your face. He quickly turned his head away and you must’ve realized how you looked because your hold on his fingers tightened slightly. “Not right now. In general, did I ever do something to make you think I’m not happy with you?”

“No,” he answered quietly, not even having to think about it. “But it doesn’t…”

“I told you before, how can I even look at anyone else when I have you?” you spoke up when he faltered. “You’re beautiful to me, Joel, even if you don’t believe me right now. You’re amazing and kind, you’re fucking hot, and yeah, maybe you’re stubborn at times, but I love you so much, and every day I find another reason to fall for you all over again.”

Joel met your eyes again, looking for any hesitation or deceit – but he didn’t find any. As always, you were sincere in everything you said.

He realized, with another wave of tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, how much he missed your affection that he alone deprived himself from. How much he longed for this intimacy that once came so easily to him.

“M’sorry,” he muttered at last, lifting his hand to your face and trying to ignore those damn tears spilling from behind his eyelids. “Never doubted you, babygirl, but I just didn’t know how… how to tell you.”

“It’s okay, Joel,” you nuzzled your cheek into his palm, planting a kiss on the inside of his hand. “It’s alright, c’mon here.”

Not letting go of his hand, you tugged him gently and leaned back on the pillows. With great effort he refrained from fighting you, and instead let you pull him down, laying his head on your chest.

And in an instant, everything was alright again. The moment Joel heard your heartbeat under his ear and felt your gentle hands on the nape of his neck and his back… it was like coming home. This feeling of warmth spreading across his limbs made him feel safe for the first time in weeks.

It was so long since he fully let you hold him.

Maybe that’s what he’s been missing.

“I adore you, Joel Miller,” you whispered into the top of his head, holding him close to your heart. “All of you, and just the way you are.”

Joel couldn’t help it – a small smile crept onto his lips.

“Called it,” he murmured. “You’re gettin’ sappy.”

You snorted and kissed his hairline. “I think you need it, handsome.”

“Maybe I do,” he conceded, not moving his head from your chest, and sighed tiredly. “Dammit, missed holdin’ you like this, babygirl. M’so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you countered, but he continued.

“I just didn’t know how to talk about it… How to tell you that I feel bad. About… the way I look.”

Joel felt your hands on his cheeks, and although he really didn’t want to move from the position he was in, he let you lift his head.

“I love the way you look,” you said quietly, in a tone that made Joel’s old heart flutter. “And our bodies change, there’s nothing wrong with that. If anything, I’m really happy that both of us can enjoy this kind of life.” You leaned in and nudged Joel’s nose with yours, closing your eyes. “Every change of our bodies is a sign that we’re finally safe after all we’ve been through. 

“But you look gorgeous as ever, sweet girl.”

“M’glad to hear it, Mr Miller,” you teased, but then your smile turned wistful. “But you know, I was insecure about my looks, too, not sure if you noticed. My stomach and thighs, and,” you rolled your eyes, “well, my butt.”

Normally Joel would throw a playful remark, or try to make you giggle, but this time he stayed silent. He just listened to your soft voice, drinking in your features.

“It worried me for some time. But you still put your hand on my leg when I was sitting with you, and you never shied away from telling and showing me,” you stressed this word, a teasing note in your tone, “how much you like my body.”

“‘Course I do,” he murmured quietly, lifting himself on his elbows and leaning over you despite your huffs and efforts to keep him in place.

“So I thought that maybe you didn’t care about this extra weight, or even didn’t–”

The rest of your words were swallowed by Joel’s lips when he kissed you deeply and hungrily. So many strong emotions were swirling inside his chest, he didn’t know anymore what to do with himself. At first you tried to continue your train of thought, but soon gave up, erupting into giggles when Joel latched his lips onto your neck and wrapped his arms around you in an attempt to bring you in even closer.

“I didn’t care,” he was whispering into your skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses in his wake. “I don’t.”

“Then you see– Joel, stop it!” You squealed when he carried on with his assault, not giving you a second to gather your thoughts.

“M’so lucky to have you,” he whispered while peppering your face in soft kisses. “Thank you, babygirl.”

You finally managed to free your arms, and you cupped his face in your hands with a huge grin that Joel decided he wanted to see every day. Another adorable giggle escaped you when he snuggled his scratchy cheek into your palm.

“I know it will take time,” you said gently, but firmly, looking deep into his eyes. “But no matter how long it’ll take, I will make you understand how incredibly attracted I am to you.” Joel hung his head low to hide a bashful snigger, and your smile grew. “Understand?”

“Yeah, yeah. Understood, ma’am.”

“Good.” You pulled him closer to plant a slow kiss on his lips, and asked seductively: “I can start right now, if you’d want to. I don’t want my handsome man to feel insecure about any part of him.”

God, he loved you so much.

Joel hid his face in the crook of your neck again, his heart squeezing with adoration and disbelief at how it came that he’d been blessed with someone like you.

“Y’know what, sweetheart? I think it’d do me good.”

[namcelestial]

changbin has changed such an incredible amount in such a short time looks-wise i never stop thinking abt it

[hoejosatoru]

Skill Set -Tokyo Rev Men

What body part (hands, mouth, cock) Tokyo Rev men (+Yahuza and Senju) are best with. All characters post timeskip. Yes I reused the blurbs from my haikyu version of this there’s only so many ways to generically describe sex acts so it applies to multiple characters lmfao.

Can finger you like no one else. One of the few men who has not lost the fine art of fingering. His fingers are long and slender but so strong. His hands are rough and scarred from years of getting into fights, but it feels so good. He finds your g spot easily, pressing into it until you’re soaked and needy. “Hmm, you like when I touch you like that, angel?” He toys with your clit until you’re right at the edge before plunging his fingers back into your throbbing pussy. Loves how easy it is to tease you like that. How fully in control he is over your pleasure with just a few touches. It’s such an ordinary part of the body, the hands, and yet his can pull the sweetest moans out of you like it’s nothing. “Go on and cum all over my fingers, baby. Wanna feel you squeeze ‘em real good.” Will literally play with your pussy for hours and absolutely will.

Takemichi (I think he was intimidated by sex stuff, but fingering felt approachable so he just did that a ton & got good at it), Mitsuya (so good with his hands & makes it feel so romantic), Kisaki (he is a nasty little tease with it. Love the power imbalance of you being fully naked while he’s clothed and touching you), Takeomi (loves making you watch in front of a mirror, big into pussy slaps), Hakkai, Angry, Koko (a tease, but like its fun), Naoto

Loves eating pussy so much. Does it for his own pleasure as much as yours. Does it in all different positions - missionary, face sitting, from the back. Literally doesn’t care as long as he gets to eat you out. He presses his tongue into your tight hole, wiggling the warm, soft muscle inside you. “Mmm, tastes so fucking sweet.” Sucks on your clit until you’re squirming away from him. But don’t think you’re going anywhere. He’ll grip your hips tight, flicking his tongue over your aching clit until you’re gasping and shaking. He loves when you get lost in it, rutting your pussy against his tongue. “Yeah, baby, fuck my tongue just like that.” He’s not happy until his face is covered in your slick cum.

Shinichiro (please sit on this mans face he wants, no needs, to feel your thighs squeezing his face), Kauztora (so needy about it, loves knowing he makes you feel good. Regularly cums himself when eating you out), Smiley, Wakasa (he is so good but is a such tease. Makes you beg for it & then will eat you out until you’re begging him to stop bc you're so sensitive), Izana (also a tease, loves edging you like crazy until you’re practically in tears begging, then makes you cum w the littlest flick of his tongue), Yahuza (she knows what the fuck she is doing!)

Gives the best dick. He’s nice and big, making your pussy stretch pleasurable every time. He knows exactly where to angle himself to get you seeing stars. Loves pressing your knees up to your chest and getting himself so deep inside you. “Feel that baby? Feel me in your tummy?” A weaker man would bust when he felt your pussy squeezing him like a vice, but he has unrivaled restraint. He knows how to perfectly work you up with, slow, long thrusts, then finishes you off fast and hard snaps of his hips. He’s so strong and can put the most delicious weight behind each pounding thrust. “Fuck princess, feel so good cumming on my cock.” Expect to go multiple rounds.

Taiju (the breading kink goes crazy on this one I fear), South (actually takes it kinda slow w you bc he’s massive and he knows it), Mucho, Benkei, Baji (he is a a huge doggy style enjoyer), Mochi, Shion (nasty with it), Rindou (I feel like rindou is just fucking slinging dick like idk how else to put it. Also I feel like he has a really nice dick overall.), Sanzu (loves making you ride him and then ends up fucking up into you), Chifu (he’s the type you don’t expect much from bc he’s small but then you can barely walk the next day), Senju (ok ik she doesn’t have a dick but she DOES have a strap and is so good with it. Also will scissor you so good so she deserves to be here)

BONUS - The men who can literally do it all. Can finger you senseless, will eat your pussy for hours, and will fuck you until you can barely walk. All above applies to them

Draken (idc if I’m being bias but Draken can fuck like no other. He’s such a nice, big cock, loves having you sit on his face, and his are so rough and warm and god I need him!), Ran (he’s a SLUT), Inui (he just has so much sex appeal like? There’s just something about him that I just KNOW he’s so good a pleasuring), Kakucho (Kind of a dark horse, but he’s so, so attentive to his partner. Really good at adapting to exactly what makes you feel good), Hanma (again, slut. He makes you beg for everything and is kinda a meanie, but worth it), Mikey (I think different timeline versions of Mikey may be stronger in different areas but overall I think Mikey has solid skills across the board. Also is v good at being Dom and sub, so it keeps things interesting)

[luveline]

What about Steve with a cry baby reader? Like she cries at everything and May be Steve is telling her about something hard but also not that deep like a fight with his parents or they r discussing exes and she starts crying bc Steve didn’t deserve heartbreak

thank you for your request! —steve tells you about his relationship with his parents and gets the comfort he deserves a few years late. fem!reader. hurt/comfort ♡ 1.7k CW mentioned child neglect

Steve indulges you every now and then with old movies. You're obsessed with those musical movies from the fifties, soft colours, cool cat leading men and blunt heroines. Your very favourite are the ones with love triangles, though Steve hasn't ever thought you'd like to be entangled in one yourself. 

Entangled in him, absolutely. "That is ridiculous," you say softly, sitting entirely in his lap, an arm around his neck and another his waist. "She loves him." 

"She does." When the heroine of Young At Heart realised one of her love interests didn't have a present for the birthday party they were going to attend together, she bought one for him so he wouldn't feel embarrassed —yet she's planning on marrying the other man. "Poor Frank. He looks shocked." 

"I'd be shocked. Lucky me, you've never sprung a sudden engagement on me," you say, your fingers rubbing mindlessly into his side. Your affection is often thoughtless. You care for him like another must-do, in time and rhythm with your breathing. 

"To another girl, you mean?" he asks warmly. 

You fluster and rub your cheek against the collar of his shirt, rolled and worn from an endless day on the couch together. He should go up and shower soon before bed, only you feel right in his lap, in no way light but a weight he's happy to bear.

You're skewed sideways, your legs laying across the rest of the couch, his legs kicked up on the coffee table. He keeps trying to force himself up for a shower and you keep leaning into his front or scratching your nails from his ribs to his hip, convincing him otherwise.

"If we ever… got engaged," you begin unsurely, eyes on the television to avoid his gaze, he's sure, "would we have a nice party like that?"

"When we get engaged we'll do whatever you want. We can have a party, send out ivory invitations with eleven point four Times New Roman font. All the trimmings." 

"Eleven point four." Your eyes soften with your smile. "What do you know about invitations?" 

"My mom had tons of stupid parties. She didn't always send out invitations, but when she did, she'd have them done right. I got to lick the envelopes." 

"Lucky Stevie." 

You shift backwards so your weight is on the couch rather than Steve, your back to the armrest and your thighs over his legs rather than on top of him. He can see your face better in this new position, and it's fitting: the love interest on TV starts spouting about how beautiful the heroine is, how her face is a tribute to the heavens if there ever were one. Smiling as you are, Steve has to agree. 

"What were they like, the parties?" 

Steve bites the tip of his tongue. "Fine," he says eventually. "They were fine. They'd set up buffet tables covered in hors d'oeuvres and everyone would walk around in their cocktail dresses and tailored suits drinking champagne and whiskey." His tone lightens toward the end, a put upon theatric for you to make it sound less snotty. 

"Did you wear a suit?" you ask. 

"Button down, usually."

"Nice! I bet you looked adorable. Do you have any photos?" 

"Honestly, baby?" Steve squeezes your leg. "I was miserable, then. You don't wanna see any photographs. I was never smiling."

"What?" 

"I hated my life. All my mom cared about was making us look like a perfect family, and all my dad cared about was work. I was happier when they started taking months-long business trips to Missouri."

"What do you mean?" you ask, putting your hand against his face. It's smaller than his but still big, still encompassing as you stroke his cheek and scratchy stubble. "You… what?"

He tells you because he knows you love him. It makes a hard thing easier, being loved. "Nothing, just, things were bad. My parents didn't even really like me, you know? They bounced me between little league and swim team and basketball when I was old enough. Track, cross country running, everything. Killer sun tan every summer." 

Any trace of a smile is gone from your face. "They didn't like you? What are you talking about?" 

"I was an annoying kid," he says. "You know how I was when we first met? Imagine that and worse." 

"There was nothing wrong with you when we first met." Your lip trembles. 

"Baby," he says quickly, on an exhale, the word half love and half apology, "don't be upset. I'm sorry, it wasn't as bad as it sounds. I'm making it sound worse than it was." 

Your eyes turn glassy. It's awful, being so close he can see the tears well, collecting in the corners of your eyes. You stroke his cheek tentatively and ignore them. 

"It was fine, sweetheart, really, I had everything. They'd leave me a fucking credit card when they went away, I never had to ask for anything. They gave me a car for my fifteenth birthday… I think they thought it was my sweet sixteen." 

Your face crumples like a wet paper towel. You try to fight it but you're a heavy crier and you always have been. It shocked Steve when you first met, how quickly you can fall into tears, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're extremely upset. He can maybe fix it before you give yourself a headache if he tries. 

"I'm sorry," he says again, dotting a kiss on the meat of your thumb. "I didn't tell you so you'd feel sorry for me." 

"I do feel sorry. I feel so sorry," you say quietly. 

"Don't cry…" Steve shifts into a better sitting position as the first tear trips over your waterline. Your hand falls to his collar. Your fingertips rub his collarbone. "I was lucky, I had everything I needed." 

"You just told me your parents didn't like you, Stevie, I wouldn't call you lucky. That they went away for months– How old were you?" 

He winces. "Fifteen?" 

"You were still a kid." 

"I was old before my time." 

"No, you weren't." You sniffle. "I didn't know about that, Stevie. I didn't know about any of this, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I never told you." 

You bring both hands up now, placed gently against his chest, talking to him with a tenderness that makes his body ache, "If you think that it didn't matter, I'm really sorry. Imagining you that young, sitting there thinking they didn't like you? That breaks my heart." You're not overly dramatic despite the tears, but you say it with conviction. "You're not supposed to feel that way." 

Steve laughs quietly. "I know that, dummy. Why're you this upset about this? It was years ago." 

"Because it happened to you," you say, pouting at him sympathetically. "I don't know. I guess I figure how heavy that must be carrying around this whole time, thinking they didn't like you and that it was your fault." 

Steve tries to say something, his mouth dry as sand, but he supposes he had said that, in a way. It is what he thought, what he thinks. If he were better, if he were more interesting, more attractive, more talented, they'd stick around. He pushed himself in every sport they'd let him play hoping he'd see his dad standing in the bleachers one day. 

"You're not annoying," you say, wiping your tears. You square your expression into a steadier set. "You're amazing. If they couldn't see it then and if they refuse to see it now, that isn't something you did, Stevie. Maybe they gave you a car and an Amex card, but what you deserved most was–" Your determination to calm down wanes as your voice turns airy and scratchy, like you're trying not to sob. "You deserved to feel cared about. 'N' I'm sorry you didn't, because I love you more than anything."

Steve pulls you in for a hug. Mostly because you need one, but it doesn't hurt to hide his face from you know. His eyes burn, his heart pounding in his throat and between his ears as his arms climb up the length of your back. He focuses on that, the feeling of his hands and his bare forearms against your soft shirt. His chin goes over your shoulder and he presses the side of his head to yours with more force than he intends. 

"Don't wind yourself up over it," he murmurs. "I know it sucks, I promise I get it, and I love that you're sorry, I love you, but it's not worth crying over. They're not worth it." 

You tuck your arms behind his shoulder. Steve indulges in your smell, the warmth of your closeness. Talking about his parents is like poking at a purple scar. It's healed for the most part, but it's far from invisible. He usually ignores it all. 

"Is it weird that I'm kind of vindicated by your, uh, reaction?" he asks under his breath, as though someone might hear him and call him out for it. "I don't want you to cry, but…" 

"I'm in your corner." You pull him impossibly closer. "I'll always be upset for you. Even if you don't think it matters anymore, that's the kind of stuff that stays with you, you know?" You kiss his hair. Twice. A third time. "Sorry, I know I always make stuff about me, crying 'n' all." 

"That's not true," he murmurs, rubbing your back. 

He hates that you're crying, but he's glad, too. Glad all that pain isn't made up. Your reaction is proof he didn't just imagine how much it hurt to always want something he couldn't quite grasp. 

"You didn't deserve that," you say. 

"I know." 

"I love you." 

He knows that too. "I love you. You gotta stop crying, okay? You need your tears for the end of the movie when he crashes his car. How are you gonna bawl your eyes out for Sinatra if you've wasted them all on me?" 

You laugh wetly. "I think I've made a wet patch in your hair." 

Steve relaxes, reassured at the sound of your laugh, precious as spun silver even doused in waterworks. "That's cool. I needed a shower anyway." 

—

thank you for reading!

[angelanderson]

I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33 Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33 (Im totally not self projecting)

ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!

sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.

so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.

the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!

it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.

“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.

you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”

you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”

you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.

as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.

insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.

ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”

the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”

and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?

as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.

“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.

ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”

two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.

ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”

abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”

“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.

and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.

“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”

you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.

no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”

“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.

“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.

“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.

ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”

yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂

[toastsnaffler]

been shitting myself over joining one of these outdoor socials but I was rly brave + showed up to one of them but there's no one HERRREEEE

[writersblockended]

Miguel O’Hara - HC

Warnings: no translated Spanish, other than that none??? Just fluff

Miguel O’Hara x reader

First of all that man is extremely romantic

He comes off as a serious man but did you see how he’s able to get bat shit crazy like he did for miles?

So he’s 100% capable of feeling intense emotions and SHOWS it. He’s got no problem with it

So he will shower you with gifts, sugar daddy style

One day you’ll see something in your closet or outside your door and think…I’ve never bought this before did i?

Honestly it didn’t take much to put two and two together, so you would just ask him about it

“Miguel, what did I tell you about buying me things, I’m not gonna have enough space for everything at some point you know?”

“I don’t dont know what you’re talking about.”

You’ll just roll your eyes, he’s never going to learn is he?

He is also jealous, but not controlling

He respects you and trusts you, but he doesn’t trust others

So if you’re in HQ to visit him and you find yourself talking to the different spidermen…

Hobie would be talking to you about politics and the importance of unions for workers, you would animatedly reply

And then walks Miguel…he saw you both and he knew you were going to surprise him

But he couldn’t help but feel jealous

Why couldn’t you go straight to him?

I think those feelings of jealousy come from his fear of losing people

You turn around and see Miguel, you smile

“Hey babe, cómo estás mi amorcito? Te quise sorprender pero ya veo que ya me viste”

“Hola, i see you two are talking, but that can wait. Ven contigo amor.”

You follow him to his lair (or rlly was is it …an office?)

And you go “okay what is it, did you need anything?”

“No, I just wanted you for myself.”

This makes you laugh, honestly Hobie is harmless and Miguel knows this. But he can’t help but feel threatened

He just wants you for himself really.

He’s also a huge cuddle bug, but he doesn’t show his affection in public. He doesn’t have an image to maintain doesn’t he?

At HQ he won’t kiss you unless everyone’s distracted, or he’ll have you sit on his lap while no one’s around.

Honestly it’s so easy to take naps while he’s working on things, those arms are quite literally pillows.

But at home? Oh my god, he’s like him stuck to your hair on a hot day

He will drop that persona and just simply attach himself to you and the nearest piece of furniture.

He will kiss you up and want to lay in bed so he’s fully on you

Sometimes he will fall asleep on you entirely, and he will wake up in the middle of the night panicking thinking he’s hurt you with his huge body

“No te hecho nada no mi amor? Fuck you should’ve told me I fell asleep on you babe”

“Oh my god Miguel you act as if you’ weight a ton, besides it’s no big deal”

He’s honestly such a worrier with you, he just wants you to be happy with him, so sometimes he will overanalyze every aspect of his relationship and you can see the gears turning everytime

Thats when you’ll reassure him and let him know he’s doing great, that he’s an amazing man who should not feel as if you are going to leave him. That simply won’t happen.

He also loved it when you take care of him, mostly bc he’s neglecting himself and it feels good to have someone do that for you u know?

If you give him a massage after a particular long day or tend to his wounds if he’s injured

He will just look at you with these loving glazed eyes and he will just melt under your touch

He acts tough but inside he’s like melted butter, softest guy you will ever meet.

He’s actually so emotional, he’s just good at hiding it

So if you guys argue, he’s upset and will look cranky at work

Once he gets home he sees you and your cold gaze and he will absolutely beg on his knees for your forgiveness, it makes you feel bad instantly, so you forgive him

All in all, your relationship with him is super stable and loving.

So yea this is me attempting to write after two years 😭🫣

Let me know if you guys like it cus idk I’m thinking of going back to writing fanfics and drabbles and all that good stuff ;)

Requests are open!!

[luminouslywriting]

Heeyyy so I saw that you had a scary surgery?? Ur so brave and get better soon!

I was wondering if maybe you could do a pregnancy HC with any of the BOB boys?? :)

Nonny, you are so sweet 🥹🥹 thank you!! And yes, I’d love to do this one for you! Reminder that my requests are open and I don’t mind spam! More below the cut, cut for length, light spice sprinkled in:

Dick Winters:

-He’s absolutely thrilled to be a father. The minute that you tell him about it, he’s practically giddy like a little kid haha. -A family is always something that he’s wanted and settling down is honestly a dream to him. Especially with you! -Winters thinks that you’re even more perfect pregnant and definitely gets even more of a praise kink during pregnancy. Service top who???

-Doesn’t coddle you but definitely spoils you a little bit and tries to make sure that you have everything you need/want so that things go smoothly. -Loves getting to talk baby names with you and gets really into your self care routine while pregnant. -Probably cries the first time he holds the baby.

Lewis Nixon:

-A wreck. I’m sorry, there’s just no way that this man is NOT panicking about you having a kid bc he feels like he’s already messed things up before and doesn’t want to do that again. -Might need a little bit of space initially to figure out his feelings and pull himself together. But then once he does, he’s all in. I’m talking going to doctors appointments with you, doing additional reading, and researching best ways to cure morning sickness type of guy. -Send him out for cravings, he likes to feel useful while you’re growing a baby haha. -Waxes poetic about the ability to grow life inside of you and pretty much views you as the center of his universe from this point onwards. -Absolutely has sympathy labor pains, I can’t explain that one at all

-Does not let you lift anything heavy or do anything strenuous the entire time you’re pregnant.

Ronald Speirs:

-Gets this really soft expression the minute he hears the news from you and is almost scared of the thought—but he’s ready and he’s super tender about things. -Definitely develops a breeding kink during this time and is so attentive to anything that will help you feel better, including orgasms. -Shows up one day from work with just a TON of baby stuff and maternity that he’s splurged on because he wants you to feel loved and special

-Loves holding you at nighttime and definitely will never admit this, but he talks to the baby and has so many plans

-Foot massages from him and he’ll try to hold the baby weight for you by holding up your stomach once the pregnancy progresses

-Is so protective and lets a few tears shed when the baby is born—he never left your side the entire time. His love for you has multiplied exponentially.

Buck Compton:

-Is the type of man to laugh excitedly and pull you into a fierce kiss that sweeps you off of your feet

-He’s immediately voting on a little boy and starts referring to the baby as Junior. -Is very attentive to you and wants to put the entire nursery together himself. Gets pretty far in the process too! The paint job could be better, but that’s okay! -Likes sharing showers with you and lotions your stomach afterwards with a sweet kiss to the swell of the belly. -But he also lays awake pretty anxious about being a dad and not being the same as he used to be. He wants this kid’s life to be absolutely perfect. -Gets sweetly emotional throughout the pregnancy milestones, including the baby kicking and the first time he hears a heartbeat.

Carwood Lipton:

-The grin on this man’s face will never be matched. He’s so thrilled and so excited about it! -He definitely treats you like precious cargo from there on out; a hand over your stomach when you’re walking in public, a hand in yours during drives, he’s constantly watching out for you. -Loves the way that your body changes and grows to accommodate the baby and thinks that stretch marks are sexy. BODY PRAISE KINK maxed haha. -Very into compliments and he wants you to know how much he loves you each and every day. -He is already good with kids and so he practices by babysitting his nieces and nephews. Watching him with kids is probably a turn on tbh. -Gets oddly into cooking since you’re tired and comes up with the best craving dishes at your request.

Joseph Liebgott:

-Shocked, bamboozled, shooketh, and the softest dumb smile on his face when you tell him. Asks you a million questions immediately following. -This is also followed by the sweetest sex wherein he praises and serviced you to the point of you literally falling asleep haha. -Literally tells everyone he knows because he’s so excited about the entire thing! -Is taking bets with the men in easy on the gender of the baby (he thinks girl haha)

-Also develops a lactation kink during the midst of all of this lol

-Coaches you through labor with support and a hand hold that nearly broke his hand haha

Donald Malarkey:

-An excited soft bean who immediately kisses your stomach in excitement

-Wants to go shopping with you for ALL of the baby things immediately. Please explain that there’s a whole nine months of cooking to him. -Is literally in shock and amazement at the changes your body undergoes as he learns more and more about pregnancy. He is wowed by you and expresses this daily. -Literally the most gentle he has ever been while you’re pregnant and Lowkey a mother hen who doesn’t want you to fall or do anything like lift something heavy. -Probably has a ton of lullabies memorized from his own childhood and starts dusting them off immediately. -Is the most vocal support during labor and encourages you like your life depends on it.

Eugene Roe:

-A flurry of excitement, French words, and light kisses all over immediately

-He’s already ruminating on baby names and trying to imagine how things will go. That being said, he’s best for morning sickness and pregnancy bleh energy. -Knows a ton of wives’ tales about pregnancy and how to help with natural remedies, which he awaits to try out whenever you’re ready

-Bath sex together during this time

-He gets good at doing your hair for you when you’re feeling especially worn out or tired

-Is so soft and sweet the minute you go into labor and stays by your side until the entire thing is over. 10/10 a great dad.

Bill Guarnere:

-Has to blink several times and ask you to repeat it and make sure that he heard you correctly the first time. But once he’s sure, he’s the most excited person ever. -Calls everyone he knows to tell them the news….and he wants to name the baby after Joe Toye if it’s a boy. -Takes the mood swings with a grain of salt but will try all of your cravings with you. He likes a few of them as actual snacks haha. -Gets creative in figuring out positions for sex so that you can be more comfortable

-Sometimes gets nervous about being a dad and kinda retreats within himself. I promise that one good flash of skin will remind him that everything is fine. -Is a wreck during labor but super calm and chill the minute he gets to hold the baby.

Joe Toye:

-Immediately kisses you like you’re his last breath of air. If he was in love with you before, that’s nothing to how he feels now. -Has some insecurities about how he’s going to be a dad with his injury, so hype him up as a dad. -Does all of his own research on the growth of babies and pregnancy. Will recite these facts randomly to you during dinner. -Loved getting to lay with you at nighttime and just talk to you about the kid and all of the hopes and dreams you both have for them. -Probably acutely aware of the cost of pregnancy on your body and is so in awe…he wants more but definitely leaves that in your court since it’s your body. -Also really great with dealing w/ postpartum depression and understands in a different way than most men.

George Luz:

-Goes to make a joke, gets told you’re pregnant, and is rendered totally speechless. Congrats reader. You did that haha. -Immediately starts suggesting names for the baby and starts planning out a whole gaggle of kids on the spot. -Is extremely horny while you’re pregnant and his sex drive rivals yours tbh

-HYPE KING OF COMPLIMENTS and reassuring you that you’re perfect and not a swollen penguin. -Would definitely walk around with a watermelon to feel sympathy for you haha. -Is afraid he’s going to drop the baby but never would ☺️

[bearw-me]

Post-extermination!Lute x fem reader? Where lute is trying to show that she's still good/strong enough for reader and she can still be independent. Along with reader comforting Lute about how she's still perfect for her. (Details and examples below bc i enjoy rambling sorry)

I imagine that after loosing her arm lute would be very showy about overcompensating for it. And that if reader even tried to treat her bit differently, like being more SLIGHTLY gentle/careful with her, lute would get offended tell her to knock it off.

Lute's a strong woman, pre-extermination her carried reader alllll the time. Post-extermination Lute would most certainly still try too (and surprisingly succeeds somehow) despite the reader's worries of being dropped or being too heavy for 1 arm.

This ranges from trying to hold all the groceries alone to trying to prove she's still good in the bedroom by not allowing the reader to help (like she'd literally tell reader to let her do it alone)

I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

dont apologize for requesting! i adore long requests! they have all the little details for the prompt included that make the story just- *chefs kiss*

𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐭 — 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

𐐒 includes : post-extermination!lute x fem!reader 𐐒 cw : fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mention of blood/stitches/wounds 𐐒 summary : lute's adjusting to life after extermination day, and as her girlfriend, you hope to make it easier on her 𐐒 note : i don't even know what to call my rambling anymore lol, love it

like we all saw at the end of the season, lute is full or rage- and a little hurt

the loss of her arm, initially, didn't hurt as much as losing her best friend

it takes longer for her to heal and accept the sudden turn of events

she doesn't want it to stop her or hold her back, especially from her relationship with you (especially with the loss of adam) she'd want to hold on tight to you

(like in the ask) Lute isn't one to just be beaten down by this, its a challenge she's going to fking overcome-by herself

likes to do things for YOU instead of the other way around, like if you want a snack or something she won't even let you stand up (let alone THINK) about grabbing it yourself

definitely wouldn't tell you about how she feels unless its too much, but you can see it in her; the way she's sluggish or looking down more often.

(although im not sure atm) I assume Lute is right-handed; without the left, things can get a bit trivial at times

like when you watch her try to balance her long spear with one arm, the weight of the steel trembling between her fingers. the muscles in her arms not used to carrying the entire weight by itself

Lute carrying you with one arm: she tries like how she used to, by putting an arm under your arms to support your back-but stops when she realizes she cant pick you up bridal style

I think she could manage holding you that way, around your back if you also hold onto her by wrapping your arms around her shoulders

(on this note) you being so close to her face is the perfect opportunity for her to kiss you

Hugging her from the back is not happening- her wings and all. . .

If you tried to help her take care of her arm too; bandaging it or cleaning it; she'd refuse all help and lock herself in the bathroom until she's handled it herself

(you can hear a ton of mumbled swearing and things knocking around)

its not a you thing, its a her thing; she needs to prove to herself that she can do it

Lute would hate all the flowers the other exterminators would get her; to the point she wouldn't even acknowledge the roses you placed on her nightstand

she's too stubborn to ever say it, but she's thankful you're still with her: Lute giving you soft kisses when she thinks your asleep, whispering all the 'thank you's' she doesn't think she could ever say to you awake

The loss of her arm pushes her to work harder, especially on the arm she still has in order to compensate for what happened

Technically, the hell-spawn didn't take her arm, but they still took a lot from her- she doesn't want that to mean they could take you from her too

You bet your ass the day will come where she picks up that spear again, better than fucking ever

[ambrosiagourmet]

Gimme a Kabru for the ask meme

Ahhhh hi I'm still doing this I will finish them let's go

Kabru!!

First impression

Once again gonna go for a pre-reading impression, bc honestly I really think the fandom osmosis impression I got was so off imho. So, Kabru first impression:

what if there was a hater. in the dungeon. :0

Impression now

I LOVE HIM... He's constantly agonizing over everything he does and the impact it could have and the big picture and its gonna burn him out completely someday if he doesn't slow down and realize he's allowed to live for himself sometimes. In a story chock full of survivor's guilt he is Mister Survivor's Guilt. He feels like he needs to do something to earn his existence, and that's such a heavy burden he has put on himself. Ough.

Favorite moment

There are a ton of little parts from the story that I love, but I actually want to highlight this bit from one of the Adventurer's Bible comics that lives with me:

I don't know, there's just something... something about it. Allowing Mithrun the privacy of his own story is such a strange kindness. Who else but Kabru could have thought to provide it?

Kabru, who wears Utaya across his shoulders everywhere he goes, but also never shares much about his mom, his food, the things he misses from Utaya. Or the superstitions about his eye color, and the ways that even the place he misses most wasn't always a kind home to him. Kabru, who has learned exactly how to cut up the piece of his own story in order to be able to hold the weight of them all and do the things he needs to do.

Kabru looks at Mithrun, someone who doesn't have the ability to care for himself, and provides this service to him. Offers him privacy. Privacy. The people around Mithrun have cared for him for years, but who has given him this?? Food, sleep, water, basic hygiene... but Mithrun deserves dignities beyond that too, even if he isn't able to ask for them.

And Kabru takes his eye for creating palatable stories, which he has often used to make himself fit in or force himself through unpleasant things, and uses it to help Mithrun in a way that no one else had.

Idea for a story

I don't have anything super specific here, just a GREAT DESIRE for post-canon Kabru stuff. I want to see him and Marcille become friends. I want to see him struggle to figure himself out now that his driving motive has been resolved. I want to see him forced to consider that he can't always do things for the Bigger Picture. I want to see how his relationships with his party members change. I want to see the adventures of the Laios - Marcille - Kabru trio. Pleaaaaaaase

Unpopular opinion

He's not just a hater in a dungeon.......

Like for sure his feelings about Laios are complicated and boy can they include Haterism, but also he is like the only person who vouches for Laios at certain points. Kabru intentionally chooses to have faith in him at several key moments, and the ending of the story hinges upon that faith.

I think he's got a very black and white way of looking at things sometimes, and he likes to be in control. This is where the haterism can come in.

BUT there's so much more than just that to him. Kabru is an extremely caring person in general. He notices details about people and often uses those observations to care for them - Mithrun in the example above, for instance, or the way that he thinks about how hard it would be for Rin to go back to the elves when considering whether to hand the dungeon over to them. He has a strong sense of justice. He is loyal to his promises.

I just wish those elements of his personality were given more significance in the fandom :/

Favorite relationship

Gotta go with him and Mithrun here. They bring out such interesting sides to each other. Some of my favorite moments are them surviving in the dungeon together, and of course that comic is one of my fave moments. The way Kabru understands him and continually chooses to use that understanding to provide kindness and support to Mithrun... it's good.

But also I think that Mithrun gets to a core part of Kabru that Kabru usually tries to keep hidden. Some part of the survivor's guilt, I think... the way Kabru is driven by a sense of obligation to a thing he Cannot Ever Bring Back.

They both pull something out of the other that no one else does, at least over the course of the story.

Favorite headcanon

Hmmmmm... does "he and Marcille will be besties someday" count? I think it counts. I love the idea of them being gossip-heads.

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

people's reaction to nash dying head canons

here is the last of my death reaction head canons (for now, i might do alisa and stuff at some point in time). not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes.

avery: over the years, he's become like a brother to her. to her, it would be like mourning her sister. she'd start feeling lost bc he's usually the person she'd go to for advice. she'd go to his grave often and play the guitar bc i head canon nash taught her how to. she'd sing him taylor swift songs and stuff. she'd spend a lot of time in his cowboy hat collection closet (yes he owns one) 'talking' to him. i mentioned this in my libby post, i believe, but her grief would be so evident that her fans (and haters) would notice it and comment on it. im gonna go a step further and say that they'd start commenting on her appearance (dark under eyes, losing weight) and they'd start saying super unreasonable stuff like 'she's a billionaire, she shouldn't be complaining'. it would really mess with her head and mental health. things would also become harder bc of jamie's grief but they'd work through it.

libby: she's be absolutely devastated obviously. everything she loves (baking, her clothing style, etc) would become something she despises. she'd start dressing more normal and would dye her hair a plain color like brown bc looking at herself in the mirror looking the way she did before would remind of all of the times nash called her beautiful/the love of his life. she'd become a shell of herself. she'd sell her food truck and everything that once brought her joy bc according to her 'she doesn't get to be happy if nash isn't here with her' or 'all of this is worthless now without nash'. i dont think she'd ever date again and if she were to, she'd end up with a toxic shitty man who beats her bc she sees nash as a once in a lifetime thing whom she never deserved. she would always be at his grave. shed only bake before going to see nash bc she knows he loves her baking, and it makes him happy.

jameson: jameson would obviously be crushed. again, alcohol would become a huge problem for him. i can see him pushing avery away and saying tons of mean shit to her in order to do so (not bc he wants to be alone but bc he doesn't want to bother her). they would eventually resolve and talk about this, but it did become an issue for a while. he'd leave cowboy hats at his grave and stuff as gifts so that nash is reminded of the people he loves. he'd start feeling lost, like avery, bc nash is the one who guided them all and gave them advice. he'd take tons of walks while drunk bc nash used to love them. i mentioned this in my xander post but he'd get prescribed pills to help with his insomnia bc nash's death would keep him from falling asleep. he'd remember all of the times he could have said or done smth different/spent more time with him, etc.

grayson: would literally stop working. unlike jameson and xander, nash was his only older brother meaning he doesn't have an older brother to ask for advice from anymore (jamie and xander still have him). he'd stop paying attention to his appearance. he wouldn't even bother putting on a suit. he'd start gardening bc nash used to love it even though he hates getting dirty. at some point though, he'd get back into working even though its hard bc he knows nash wouldn't like hearing he's given up on everything. i think i mentioned this is another post but he'd start smoking weed or smth to handle the stress and grief. he's literally always in the pool swimming trying to 'swim off' his grief. he wouldn't like talking about his grief with his brothers bc now that nash is gone, he's the responsible one and has to take care of them.

xander: like i say in literally every single one of my posts, he'd pretend he was fine. he crack his usual jokes and create gadgets to cheer people up just to ignore his own feelings. he stares at the sky quite often bc sometimes he'll see smth like a rainbow or a weirdly shaped cloud and it would remind him of nash. he created this cowboy hat shaped safe in his lab or whtv to store all of nash's favorite things in. they store it in the horse stables bc nash loves horses. like his brothers, he visits his grave quite often just to vent. that's the only time he allows himself to feel anything. he'd also feel responsible over his brothers. jamie is over here ruining his life and grayson is trying to pretend he's fine but its not working. hed constantly be looking for ways to help them (but not himself).

i would've added alisa, but i honestly don't know what to say for her so T-T.

tagging: @never-enough-novels

[chairwritexv]

Can i request platonic rottmnt little sibling chubby with all of the brothers HC?

Reader is same age as Mikey but what makes them different is they're on the plus size, their ninpo were made to be support class (and yes am thinking of rpg games).

This makes reader insecure about themselves; they're not " helping much " and they believe they're fat and not strong or skiny or have toned muscles like the rest of the mad dogs which put them down.

However the 4 brothers think otherwise and they have their own way to show their love & affection to reader/p

yess!! WE LOVE CHUBBY PEOPLE !!! i am such a green bean tho akfsjdns

also, i don’t play rpg games a ton, but after looking it up it appears to be a healer kinda? sorry if i got it wrong !

r a p h

is actually really surprised to learn youre insecure about your size and ninpo

he’s pretty big but doesn’t really have problems with it ??? of course he doesn’t really realize the difference between ‘beefy af’ and ‘le chubby’ lmao

he wasn’t entirely sure what to do at first bc he’s never seen this before

and with his sibling?.?? afjsjsj

when he realized/you told him he tilted his head in confusion stared at you before bursting out

“you don’t like your body??? why???”

“raph has a big body and he don’t care!”

didn’t understand at first

“you’re the most perfect little sibling raph could want !”

”no matter what yer size!”

kinda felt bad, he felt like he should’ve noticed sooner since he was the Big BrotherTM

made sure not to be accidentally offensive about it just in case

when one of those lose-weight-or-no-one-will-love-you thought inducing ads would come on raph would block the tv

“DONT LISTEN TO IT!! YOU ARE PERFECT NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SIZE!!!”

l e o

ok so. the lil shit probably teased you abt it in the past. but NOT in a rude or offensive way. like affectionate . well he tried to come off affectionate anyways …

he’d like just poke at your chub n stuff y’know?

he wasn’t really trying to be offensive he just found it interesting since all his other brothers were skinny beans, and raph was just super beefy

but oh my god

BOI FELT SO BAD WHEN YOU TOLD HIM YOU WERE INSECURE ABT IT

”…what?”

feels like it’s all his fault

apologizes so much abt it he’s the one the needs reassuring afsjdn

he wasn’t the main reason of your insecurities , but his teasing hadn’t helped it… yknow?

he reassured you there was nothing wrong with your body OR ninpo and no reason to be insecure abt it

tells you his past ‘teasing’ wasn’t meant to be rude in any way and apologizes

he hasn’t teased you abt it for awhile anyways, but still makes sure not to be rude abt it in any ways whatsoever

if one of those lose-weight ads comes on he’ll tell you a stupid joke or something to move your attention away from it

still feels bad abt the teasing tbh

d o n n i e

he’s the second most surprised

i mean, he knows that people feel insecure abt their chub sometimes thanks to the internet but he wasn’t expecting one of those people to be you

i mean, you weren’t even that chubby in his opinion

uses logic to reassure you that your body is fine in every way

same with your ninpo

”your ninpo is very important and crucial to the team, y’know-“

he will not have his little sibling being insecure >:(

if he notices you staring at yourself in the mirror with a less-then-positive-face on, he’ll drag you away from it under the guise of wanting to show you his latest invention

not good with emotions but he’s doing his best ok

if those lose-weight-and-you’ll-finally-be-perfect ads comes on he’ll either distract you somehow or cover your eyes with his battle shell arm

m i k e y

was confused at first, not understanding what you meant

when he finally understood he gasped

his twin?? disliking their body/ninpo???? UNACCEPTABLE

cue the doctor feelings speech

does absolutely everything in his power to make you feel good abt yourself

will draw you SPECIFICALLY highlighting your pudge bc there is nothing wrong with it and will take that to his grave

sends you body-affirming stuff at random times

will paint his nails with you whilst reassuring you you’re absolutely beautiful the way you are ✨

a lose-weight ad?

he will DRAMATICALLY scream at you not to watch it-

”Y/N! DONT WATCH IT!! ITS FULL OF LIES-“

-before hugging you and dramatically putting his hand to his head

”LIES!!!”

it’s such a funny distraction technique you can’t not burst out laughing

thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed!!!

[rimunagenius]

Lucky

Pairing: Will ‘Ironhead’ Miller x F!reader , Benny Miller x Frankie Morales x Santiago Garcia x F!reader

Warning: angst! , mentions of divorce (reader and ex husband (Garrett) yes i did this on purpose) , foul language (like very derogatory terms used against reader) , and overload of Will x reader fluff!

Word count: 4.1k words!!

Summary: You found out your husband cheated, abandoned you and your guys’ baby for your bestfriend. Your best boys are their to comfort you through the nasty breakup.

Note: I absolutely loved the idea of the reader having a baby and being a single mom (mainly bc i’m not a fan of together parents [based from my experience]) because i would be able give most of the men in the movie a good ending they didn’t get other than Frankie. Frankie got his baby and the others just exist and the ending leaves very little to the imagination so i like the found family dynamic (BUT THIS IS STILL BEFORE THE EVENTS THAT OCCURED IN COLOMBIA). I also really want to explore the reader and Wills relationship further maybe? Idk lmk what you guys think.

***

Numb.

That’s how you would describe the pain you felt—couldn’t feel, as you lie on the floor of your bathroom. Your chest felt like a ton of bricks had been piled on, one after another and the weight was ruthless as you tried to intake a breath.

You didn’t know what you did, why it happened, or what went wrong that caused the feelings to change. Why her? What did she have that you didn’t?

You ran through every scenario in your head, replaying every moment and words exchanged with him. What made him so unhappy in this relationship. You had a baby with him for god sakes. It didn’t change the fact that he left both of you. You and Tatum. Your 7 month old baby.

You don’t know when you ended up on the floor, when you decided that it was all too much that you took solace in the one area you haven’t cleaned in 2 weeks. It was gross. You were gross—felt gross. You couldn’t remember anything that happened in the last 72 hours other than getting up to feed your baby and go to the bathroom on a continuous cycle. You had ignored everyone’s calls. Either sending them straight to voicemail or just listening to the phone ring.

Frankie called and asked why you, your husband—soon to be ex husband, and Tatum missed the cookout Friday night. Benny calling because you missed his fight, the one you promised you’d make this time, the one they had the celebratory cookout for. Santi had the same reason as Frankie. Everyone was worried sick. You haven’t responded to any text and calls and that was unlikely behavior on your part.

Will didn’t know what to do. He had called and texted, a numerous amount of times. He even showed up to your house, knocking and waiting by the door for almost an hour when the guys called him and said you hadn’t responded to them either.

Will was your best friend. You’ve known him just as long as Benny. The Millers being your bestfriends since you were kids. They introduced you to their friends once they all decided to leave the Army. You soon became apart of their found family.

But Will, your the closest to. You were the same age, leaving an age gap to the youngest Miller, that’s why you got along and closer to Will; but you didn’t love and adore Benny any less. As all the guys’ failed attempts at trying to figure out what was going on, you just repeated the same endless cycle.

Get up. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Bathe the baby. Go to the bathroom. Put baby to sleep. Wallow in self pitty. Go to sleep. Get up. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Bathe the baby. Go to the bathroom. Put baby to sleep. Wallow in self pitty. Go to sleep. All day for the last three days.

So you lay there, on the bathroom floor, Tatum asleep in her bouncer right next to you. You brought her in here when you had to leave the room to vomit as you couldn’t handle being you. You being so sick of yourself since it was was easy for him, your husband of 4 years, boyfriend of 6, to leave—cheat on you like all those memories, the baby you both made together, was nothing.

You decided to jump in the shower, not having showered in days. The warm water felt good on your skin, refreshing. All you could do was stand there. Enjoy the water washing away the sweat, tears, touch of everything you’ve experienced in the last 2 weeks. Washing away his touch. The lingering cheek kiss, side waist hug as he was leaving for ‘lunch with his boss’ so they could ‘talk about a promotion.’

You bet sex with Samantha, talking about him leaving to move in and to continue having a relationship while breaking the heart of the one they both were supposed to love most was fan-fucking-tastic.

As you finished washing your hair and body, even shaving your legs because you needed to feel clean, new, Tatum cried. Hopping out you wrapped your towel around yourself and bent down to place her pacifier back in her mouth. Her cries dying slowly and her eyes lulled to a close again.

Picking up the bouncer you walked back to your room, and put on your sleep shorts and oversized T shirt and took Tatum to the living room. Setting her in her bassinet that you bought last week for the living room, you grabbed the throw blanket that was on the couch and cover your legs as the TV played ‘Love Island’.

Wow, great choice for a time like this. God really loves me today, doesn’t he? You couldn’t help but let the tears that were in a relentless battle with your self control, roll down your face. It was just so hard to let go of all the memories. The years that you spent loving the man that you thought was the love of your life, but ended up being the love of your ex bestfriends’.

Brushing your hair behind your ears, a knock at your door interrupted your tears. Sighing, grateful you had closed the blinds and your car had been parked in the garage, so it wasn’t noticeable that you were home, you sat and waiting for whoever thought you were home, would give up and go home. You should’ve known better.

After ten minutes, the knocking continued and you growing annoyed, got up to answer. Your wet hair, dampening your shirt as you totally disregarded putting it up. “What the fuck, man.” You said as you approached the door, hoping whoever was there, heard.

You have a shocked look across your face as you find Frankie standing at your door, flowers and chocolates in hand. You sigh, a sad smile reaching your lips as you reach up to hug your best friend. “Hi, Frankie.” Tears fell down your face and Frankie was already worried but seeing the disheveled look you had and the sadness in your usually happy-lit eyes, his smile and emotions dropped. Seeing you sad made him sad.

He hugged you back, tighter and just held you. Didn’t ask any questions. As you let go you took the flowers and allowed him inside, but as you were shutting the door, three more people came barreling towards you.

“Wait, we’re here too.” Benny.

“Wait don’t close it, cariño.” Santi.

“We came too.” Will.

You fought the tears as you tried to smile as your boys flowed through the door as you let them. “Just be quiet, Tatum hasn’t been sleeping well.” As if on cue, Tatum started crying. That’s when you snapped. All the small tears and sniffles turned into loud sobs as the cycle began all over again.

You shut and locked the door before pushing past the guys, who all watched you in sadness as you couldn’t stop sobbing as you picked up your daughter and just held her as you wished she would just stay asleep. “Lemme take her from you. Uncle Benny has missed his partner in crime.” Benny walked over, taking off his hat and setting it on the coffee table, and swooped Tatum out of your arms.

You sighed as you sat on the couch and rested your head in your hands. It was so overwhelming, all of it.

“What happened, cariño.” Santi asked as he sat in the love seat in your living room. His question only prompted more tears and cries. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You spent the last three days numb because you had to be strong for Tatum. You couldn’t let yourself spiral. Now that the guys were here, you couldn’t help it.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe.” Will kneeled infront of you, removing your hands from your face, replacing one with a hand of his own against one of your cheeks.

“He left.” Was all you could say. Croak, actually. You couldn’t speak as more sobs threatened to tear from your throat.

“Who? Garret?” Frankie asked, already having a strong idea as to what went down. He never liked Garret, never trusted him either. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t already mad.

“Yeah. He went out for lunch ‘with his boss to talk about some promotion at the firm’, but he actually met up with Samantha.” You wiped the tears from your eyes. Meaning to put air quotes around the words, confirming Frankie’s suspicions. You sniffled, grimacing at the sound as you were super congested from the crying you’ve been doing for the last 72 hours. It was fucken awful.

“That fucken bastard.” Benny and Santiago said together.

“He was a piece of shit, anyways.” Will mumbled as he pulled your head into his shoulder as he hugged you, remaining on his knees infront of you.

“I never liked him. Just thought i’d say that up front right now.” Frankie raised his hand.

“He didn’t even come back. He hasn’t come back and I sure as hell hope he doesn’t for the sake of him wanting to keep his manhood.” You sighed into Wills shoulder, eliciting a chuckled from the guys, including you. Surprisingly. “I found out by Samanthas roommate Nina, who by the way knew they had been fucking for 2 months now. She only told me because her and Sam got into an argument about the rent like a week ago. Samantha has been texting me non-stop about how sorry she is but he hasn’t messaged me once.” You pulled away from Will and looked at all the guys in the room. You were so grateful for these men. Your safe place, your support system, your home when yours didn’t feel like it anymore.

“Good. Cause if he calls, he’s not gonna hear the end of it from the Millers, and won’t be able to cheat on anyone when me and Frankie are done with him. Shit, he won’t be alive once the Millers jump in.” Santiago said as he turned his attention to the TV, noticing the Love Island playing. Turning the TV off immediately, not thinking it suit the moment.

You smiled softly, your sad smile returning as you wiped the stray tears. “Hi, baby! How’s my favorite niece!” You heard Benny as he was suddenly made aware of Tatums awake state as she grabbed at his stubble. She loved touching all the guys facial hair. You never understood it but whenever one of them was holding her, her hand was always on their face.

“Hey, dickhead! She’s not the only niece you have.” Frankie reminded Benny of his own kid, earning a groan from Benny.

“Dude she’s not even born yet. When she is, they’ll both be my favorite princesses in the world. Fun Uncle Benny is gonna be their favorite.”

Frankie nodded his head, rolling his eyes at Benny’s save. The room went silent as your phone rang, and the picture and called ID was on display to everyone.

“Fuck no.” Benny immediately said. “Shit! Aw damn! Jeez, sorry.” He immediately apologized for his language. Aware how you felt about the guys cursing around Tatum.

“Don’t answer it.” Will said, as you picked up your phone. All the guys protested but you didn’t care. You answered.

“What?” Your sadness immediately being replaced by anger and betrayal as he just now decided to call.

“What the fuck is your problem!? Your ignoring Sammy? She didn’t do anything to you.” Garret yelled over the phone at you.

What a fucken idiot.

“Im sorry, WHAT!? Your going to call me to bitch and moan about how im ignoring the woman you cheated on me with!? Your unbelievable.” You got up, all the men stood up with you.

“Im unbelievable!? Your just a self centered bitch who didn’t see that I was unhappy in our marriage! Jesus Christ! You were so fucking boring,” Garret said your name with such distaste and anger. It shocked you. Suddenly you didn’t feel mad, you felt sad and worthless again. The boys didn’t waste no time in jumping in.

“Hey, man. Watch your damn mouth.” Will said from next to you. The calmness in his voice was scary. It always was. The way he stayed calm during duress situations was scarier than him yelling.

“Mhnmhn.” Frankie shook his head from where he was standing.

“Earmuffs Tatum. Im gonna fucking kill him.” Benny whispered looking up. No matter how little Benny was, growing up, he protected you—tried to, whenever someone gave you a hard time. He’s done it all his life, and this time was no different. Even with your daughter in his arms.

“Dear god.” Santi rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, what? You have your little bitch dogs with you. I bet your banging all of them, you fucken slut. You always had the hots for Will. Your a whore. This is why I cheated in the first place.” Garret yelled through the phone, Samantha being heard laughing in the back.

“Get your head out of your ass and put your bitch in check. They’re here because they’re helping me take care of your daughter. You know, the one you decided to abandon the minute you fucked another woman?” You cried into the phone. You couldn’t even be angry. All you felt was sadness. Everything hurt. It hurt to cry, to speak, to breathe.

“Look, im sorry. You gotta understand that I wasn’t happy anymore. I’m sorry, baby.”

“You do not get to ‘baby’ me. Your a sad excuse for a man Garret. Jesus.” You decided you didn’t want to just rip at him, you needed to get a rip at Sammy. “Sammy, don’t be sad when you wake up one day when you don’t see Garret in bed with you. He’ll probably get bored of you too, and fuck your roommate. Hell, he’ll fuck the whole complex.” You heard a distant ‘Fuck you’ before you let more tears fall.

“Baby, im sorry.”

“Garret, stop calling me that. We’re done. You don’t get to be nice and ‘baby’ your way out of this. You just finished calling me a slut and a whore!”

“But you get to invite all your men over!? How could you do that to me?”

“How could you cheat on me with my bestfriend!?” You choked back a sob, Will wrapping his arms around your neck from behind, kissing the top of your head.

Garret said your name, just above a whisper. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Your voice soft, tired, of speaking when all you want to do is cry. You did just that, cry as you got your final words out. “It doesn’t really matter, Garret. Cause in the end it all hurts the same. I’m done. I’m done with you, your little whore and your not coming back home. Expect divorce papers at the door of your house—oh, im sorry, your mistress’ house, in two weeks. Fuck you, man!”

“Can I atleast get my-“ You didn’t give him to finish his sentence as you hung up, unleashing all your pent up rage, sadness and overall overexertion. You turned your body into Wills, allowing him to hug you as you cry into his favorite hoodie. He doesn’t even care that his forearms of his sleeves are getting damp from your still undried hair, and his chest growin damp from your tears.

Benny, Frankie, and Santiago all joined in on the hug as you just cried. They knew there was nothing they could say or do but just hold you while you let it all out.

These were your guys, and nothing would change the way you would always be grateful to them.

Your boys, your safe place, your support system, your home when yours didn’t feel like home anymore.

***

Will had made dinner for all you guys. You all sat at the table and ate together, Benny not letting go of Tatum once. She already had her uncle wrapped around her finger.

For the most part you guys ate quietly, and just talked about what you missed the last three days before apologizing that you had missed it all. None of them held it against you, understandably so. They talked about their work and what they’ve been up to and what they have going on, not touching on your situation any longer than they had to. You didn’t want ‘im sorry’s you just wanted to hang out with your friends. You didn’t want to feel sad anymore.

Not long after you all ate, you went and laid on the couch in bewteeen Will and Benny. You were leaning on Benny, curled into his side while Frankie sat on the other side of him and Will by your feet. You don’t remember much of what you were watching as you were in and out of sleep. Sleep that you haven’t been able to properly get as it was just you and Tatum. An insomniac baby is bound to catch up to you later. All you knew you had put on your favorite rom com but just didn’t remember exactly what part you were watching.

It wasn’t long before the built, muscled, and toned side of Bennys frame, turned into the soft cuddly teddy bear that was his personality. Long before you could fight the sleep until the guys left, your eyes closed and you fell asleep.

You had convinced the guys to watch your favorite rom-com. It only took you begging them quietly as Tatum fell asleep after you fed her, not wanting to wake her, and dropping the ‘hey, I just asked for a divorce against my cheating husband’ card and it was hard for them to say no to you.

Benny and Will knew that you falling asleep to this movie wasn’t uncommon. You did when it first came out when you were in middle school. The movies nights they let you pick and you’d pick this movie falling asleep around the same time, everytime. How to lose a guy in 10 days just gave you the comfort you needed whenever you felt sad or whenever you just felt like falling hopelessly inlove with the perfect love story.

“Never fails.” Benny chuckled softly, noticing your soft snores into his side.

All the guys looked over to see you knocked out, curled into a tiny ball, wrapped in the small throw blanket. This was a calming and reassuring view for all of them. They’ve never seen you like this before. Sure they have been there ever since they met you and all the old boyfriends who didn’t deserve you, but the way you were today. Sad, betrayed, and angry…was something they hope to never see again.

They love the happy you. The you that jumped up and down whenever you met them at the terminal when they were back on leave. The you that laughed at the most unfunniest jokes because everyone deserves to feel special. The you that your smile brightens up the whole damn room and any of their bad days.

They saw you finally at peace, the most peaceful you of the day. Getting the rest you deserved they all felt successful in their efforts to cheer you up any way they could.

Frankie was the first to get up, putting his hat on. “I gotta head out, my girl is waiting for me.” He hugged all his friends goodnight, stopping at you to give you a kiss on our head. Santiago got up, being that Frankie was his ride. Santiago did the same.

Benny was harder to get up. He didn’t want to disturb the little sleep you have been able to get in the last couple of days, but again, Frankie was his ride. He grabbed a throw pillow next to him, and swiftly and stealthly switched it under your head. Your soft stirring causing all the men to stop breathing and moving, not wanting to disturb you.

Once the coast was clear Benny said bye to his brother and kissed your head softly. He walked over to Tatum and kissed her soft brown hair, covering her better with her blanket.

Will decided to stay the night with you. You had agreed when you sat down to pick the movie while the other guys cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. He offered to help you with his goddaughter so you can get whatever you needed done, out of the way. You appreciated the offer and agreed with open arms to let him stay. Him saying he’ll figure the ride out tomorrow, or whenever you didn’t need his help anymore.

The guys exited the front door, the sound of the truck starting soon disappearing as they pulled out and drove away.

No matter how much Will denied it to everyone, he was a sucker for the cheesy romance movies. He wouldn’t admit it, especially to you. These were your favorite and it was his duty as your bestfriend to deny he likes whatever you like. ‘It’s because im a boy’ he always told you. You thought he was so full of shit. He sat there for twenty minutes watching the movie he’s seen over a thousand times in his lifetime. It seemed to be working whatever magic it had on you and made him so tired. You guys both seemed to swap your liveliness.

Your sleepy state didn’t last long as you opened your eyes and let them wander around the room, as much as you could see, to find the house empty but Will and Tatum.

You sat up, and yawned. “How long was I asleep for?” You look at Will, hopeful that it was enough.

“Like, thirty minutes.” He rubbed his eyes as he yawned. His yawn being a little too loud as it woke Tatum.

You were moving the blanket off of you, getting up to get your daughter when Will beat you to it. “I got her. Sit back down, sweetheart.” You nodded softly your eyes still heavy from being tired.

“When did the guys leave?” You frowned having missed them on their way out. You didn’t say thank you.

“Like twenty minutes ago,” Hey, babygirl. C’mon. I got you.” Will bent over the bassinet, looking at Tatum. He cradled her in his arms. He watched as Tatums cries soon turned into whimpers which then turned into soft cooing. He smiled at her before another yawn escaped his lips.

The movie was still playing quietly, the end almost nearing. The soft background noise pulling you into your sleepy state yet again. You closed your eyes, shoving your arms and legs under the blanket forming a small ball again. The couch dipped next to you as Will filled the space, holding your baby girl.

You didn’t think twice before moving your body the other direction, to face Will before moving closer to his side. He knew what you wanted and he lifted his arm so you can get comfortable against him.

He threw his head back, finally closing his eyes as one arm held Tatum and the other held you against his chest. You couldn’t have been more grateful for this man. You loved him with every bone in your body. You were so glad that you were able to call him your bestfriend. You can count on him when the world let you down again and again.

You looked up at him, touching the side of his face. On contact, he moved his head in your direction, smiling softly as he was met with your eyes, full of happiness again. “Will?”

“Yeah, baby?” Your breath hitched at the nickname he hasn’t used for you in years. Atleast before you met Garrett. You hoped it wasn’t noticeable. Will picked up on everything, very observant, damn you Army.

“Thank you. Your too good to us.” You whispered, looking away from his face, nestling into the crook of his neck as you watched your daughter peacefully sleep in your bestfriends arms.

“Anytime, sweetheart. Anything for my two favorite girls.” He kissed your head, resting his head back on the couch, a small smile on his face as he closed his eyes.

“I love you.” You whispered, closing your eyes too.

“I love you.”

All you could think about was how lucky you and Tatum had been to have a man like this in your life. A man who will move heaven and earth if you asked. How lucky you were to have men as good friends as the guys were to you. You couldn’t ask for a better family to help you raise your baby.

You and Tatum were so lucky.

You were both happy.

***

A/n: I would absolutely love to turn Tatum and the guys relationship into a full series of one-shots. Like little moments as she grows up. I want to create a father-daughter dynamic with Tatum and Will because like i said i want to explore Will x F!reader more!! Maybe along the lines of them growing closer as Tatum grows up because as they figure the whole parenting thing out together, they also find themselves and figure out their relationship as well.

Let me know what you think!!! It would be greatly appreciated!!