#bc i'd have to work on them on photoshop...... and i hate.................

[buckys-metal-arm]

God it's fucking wild how someone says one thing to you and it sticks with you forever in a bad way

It's been a year now and every so often my brain decides to remind me that one time in a Bucky Twitter GC I was in one of the people in it had this joke (that had stopped being funny a while ago imo) where they would Photoshop our selfies so we were bald, and they kept sending mine over and over, and one of the people in it called me "not a looker", and when I woke up and saw that and called them all on it everyone acted like it was no big deal and dismissed it as "well maybe they're just saying that because you've been acting weird in chat" and then used the fact I was mad about it as the catalyst to confront me on how I'd been acting in the chat. And I won't minimize, I DID do things that were absolute shit in there and I still feel guilty and have been working to be better. But they mixed genuine concerns with things like "you project too much onto Bucky" and "you only started posting BuckyNat stuff on Twitter after we mentioned liking it" and like...?? They also said that mentioning a situation with a person that had been in the chat was triggering for one of the current members and that I "knew that, but was still bringing it up by saying i didn't want the current situation to turn out like that one". And obviously that's AWFUL, and I hate that I was responsible for triggering someone, but I genuinely did not know that it was a triggering thing for them, and they never said until it was brought up during this.

And like. Looking back a year later I've realized they also sucked too. And again, I KNOW I did shitty things. I know that. But like the instance with the GC member essentially calling me ugly and everyone dismissing it as okay because of my misgivings was definitely a thing, but like. I watched them start to make a fake pro shipping Twitter so they could make fun of the people that followed it (they ended up deleting it bc me and one of the other members said it felt like a bridge too far), I saw the shit they said about people who would leave for a bit for whatever reason until they came back and suddenly they were best friends again. They got mad at me when I said I saw Bucky as Bisexual, going on about how he was "CLEARLY gay" and that I was "projecting onto Bucky because *I'm* Bisexual", and it made me really upset because I felt like I was being shouted down.

I don't know what this is, and I'm purposely being vague about what group it was and names and stuff because I absolutely REFUSE to call people out by name. I have no desire to make it a smear campaign or anything, I just needed to get out the fact that someone said something to me in a Twitter GC I was in that is permanently branded into my brain and has left me feeling more self conscious about my body and my fear that no one will ever see me as beautiful or worthy of love and the one year anniversary of that happening is coming up so it was on my mind.

Again, I KNOW that I did bad things in there. I'm not minimizing and I still feel guilty about them. I'm working on being better. But idk with the privilege of hindsight I also kinda think the entire group was sort of mutually toxic I guess

[spidey-bie]

spidersona infodump!!!!!

name: ??? alias: peacock spider

age: ???

gen lore: -was bit by radioactive peacock spider -spider expermented on by alchemex; girlie was working for them at the time; someone didnt follow lab procedure; spider got out and bit him -left alchemex for another science place -a plot is ending alchemex as a corp + getting rid of the corrupt higher ups -before getting bit didnt rlly know abt the corruption + bad things going on at alchemex -after being bit, starts investigating the corp and finds out bunch of evil shit -b plot is activism and socia justice -joins protests as both spidey and civilian self -as spidey helps deal w larger problems w/ their society like taking out corrupt ppl and politicians -as civilian helps deliver food, provide transport, get resources for ppl in need, + more subtle political changes that need to happen

specific story: -is dating this universe's deadpool -dp is his "mj" except they dont break up bc they understand the spidey thing

alchemex lore: -alchemex is vv corrupt -owned by this univerese's kingpin -funded by the osborns

changes from bite: -produces web from spinerettes on wrist (wears braelets to conceal/protet them when out as civilian) -sticky bc of small hair everywhere -developed chelicerae in jaw; can open mouth normally OR can open all the way w/ chelicerae -chelicerae attach at chin and come up from cheek, sit in front of mouth -affects normal eating, wears mask in public bc of visibility -produces venom; bites causes fever, visual hallucination, and extreme anxiety/fear -visual hallucination changes colors of world to look like pattern of a peacock spider (like overlay layer effect in photoshop) -colors reflect the ones on his spidey suit -wears off in like 2~ hours, leaves no permanent aftereffects -super strength obvi, can lift like 2 tons or summ (idkk) -rlly spidery in general now ig?? -enhanced senses + spider sense -HATES mint bc it repels spiders (by proxy dreads christmas season) -gets urges to weave things/webs and makes blakets bc of this (donates the blankets) -can't get sick from raw meat anymore get urges to eat it if rlly hungry (still prefers cooked food bc of spices + flavors) -isn't affected by own venom -produces oil to keep from sticking to web (constantly washes hands/uses hand sanitizer bc of this; cant use fingerprint on phone) -uses webs as secondary security in apartment bc senses vibrations -can go weeks w/o food OR eats 4-5 times a day

You have to know that we have to set up that appointment for me to eat your brain kind sir. I'm also definitely stealing some of these. (Especially that venom thing. I was sitting here stumped for days on how my girl's venom affected other people 😭)

My girl and your guy would be like this 🤞🏽. They are both taking down their worlds Alchemax. My girl is just doing it by working from the inside. (And if I'd just sit down and finish writing this post everyone would know her story 🥹)

Love how you have a specific spider too. I just based mine on tarantulas in general because of a hyperfixation I had in my youth (my friend got one and I wanted one so badly but my parents said no 😞)

IM SO GLAD PEOPLE ARE MAKING THEIR OCS LIKE SPIDERS. SPIDERS ARE SO COOL. Especially the weaving bit. That's so cute.

[nightmarist]

For the artist questions, 6, 21 and 30 if you dont mind

6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Ironically what people tell me to draw.

It's my love-hate with commissions, where I can need the money but dread what people are going to pay me to draw. However, I do like requests, there's a semantic difference in my brain for a request bc usually requests are framed in ways that people want me to draw something they think would match my art or think I the artist would enjoy drawing vs commissions where people want something I just couldnt care less about but Have to do it.

Since I've gotten more established professionally IRL I get to be more choosy about what I take on as commission, so I might just endup doing a whole "I'll only do commissions if I actually like your idea" since I do want to be paid for my work and I do think people have really cool ideas I would love to pry out of their tangled brains and put to paper or canvas or whatever. But even then, If I do really love someone's idea, I mean. Fuck it. I'd love to do it. I love making things for people and giving them away. The fleeting aspects of art can be art too.

21. Do you like to challenge yourself?

Yes !!! I constantly do shitty little sketches and go to drawing tutorials, ask my art instructor and professor friends for tips, tricks, ideas etc. I do a lot of exercises and recently I've become much less afraid of creating backgrounds now that I have a better grasp how to make them. Similarly I'm trying to figure out painting more, which is both fun and challenging.

I don't want to do Just realism, I would love to experiment with other styles. Now that I have actual income, I can "waste" resources (paint, canvases, etc) practicing. Usually the issue is, if I make something, I can't buy back the things I used to make it, and therefore can't continue making. One of the big reasons I've been doing so much more art lately than the past decade.

30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

How do you define it? Is it what's the most realistic? I can do realism. I have. Ive been doing it since I was a young teenager, I had galleries and awards and was paid hundreds to nearly a thousand dollars for pieces. My parents kept all the money. Now that I'm an adult, no one gives a shit that some thirty year old man can paint a realistic portrait of a celebrity. It only mattered when I was 13 and 14 using a program no one ever heard of (paint tool sai) or didnt think photoshop could be anything but a photo editor. Realism isnt fun, anyway, at least not anymore for me.

I do think that things like "the basics" - anatomy and realism, still life, color theory, perspective, all should be learned to learn how to make compelling art. But they dont have to be used in polished, aesthetically pleasing ways. Once you learn how and why "oh these colors clash and make people turn away from how jarring they are" you can use that. "These perspective lines are weird" can be just as compelling when you have the knowledge to fuck around with it.

I think the thing for me is, after having collaborated with so many other artists IRL and seeing their work, art is so much more than being "good" or "better" or "best" — it's expression. What you express, how you express it, those are each personal things.

Art isn't just painting. Or embroidery. Or convention. Its this lady in town who makes full body puppet costumes out of scrap blankets and broken ceramics. Is this old woman in the country side who makes masks out of paper and crayons. Its a local punk who learned to silk screen their own T shirts with weird shit.

I guess more or less being a "better" artist for me is coming to understand that there's no actual such thing. You can have your own personal goals, set them, and make them.

In addition, "every artwork is practice for the next"

It's a perpetual cultivated skill that, when you look back, there will always be something you could have done "better"

[bottom-slut-unionizer]

When I started studying psychology I kind of hoped that I'd be able to like better understand the world and be able to get why people did the things I didn't like in the name of psychology.

Well... Now that I got a bachelor's Ive learned to:

Hate rich people a LOT mote

Loath the prison system a LOT more

Realized that a lot of people who claim to use psychology use either outdated or just straight up incorrect information to appear right, while also causing damage

Realized how fucking easy it is to mess someone up

THE WORDING AND FORMATTING OF QUESTIONS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT

I seriously hate rich people (specifically the type that hordes money, acts like their easy life is the norm, and thinks that the daily problems most people face are their own fault) more... Like bruh... Wasn't supposed to keep being radicalized but here I am

Having money significantly impacts not just your mental health, but also your literal life by influencing what you have access to. If money was more accessible, people could do so much more. Do note, that at some point people get rich enough that the benefits entirely diminish, so it's not even like it's helping them. If that money went to anyone else it would do SO MUCH GOOD

Seriously like the money thing is huge. If someone's is seriously struggling bc they're having to work so much n barely get by, therapy ain't gonna do a ton. Especially since therapy costs money. Literally, if they had more money a lot of that stress n pain would go away entirely, and in ways that a therapist could never do

If you want to teach something or train something you just need to be consistent n give rewards. Punishment is (generally) bad n rewards are the way to go.

Positive (as in positive reinforcement) just means you're adding something while negative means taking something away. Reinforcement means that what you're doing is intended to make their behavior happen more, while punishment is aimed at getting it to happen less. Some examples: positive punishment (adding a curfew bc your child is skipping class n you don't want me to), positive reinforcement (giving a cookie for good grades n you want them to keep doing it), negative reinforcement (removing their curfew after their grades improve), negative punishment (taking their car keys for crashing the car)

Therapists aren't the only ways that psychology can help people, you can also become a researcher to figure out the things that help people

There is not nearly enough of an understanding of neurodiversity as there should be (this is really what I want to study in grad school. That n creative expression)

You can lie to kids super easily. One of my psychology professors told us that she photoshopped a picture of her kids n her at Disneyland n told them they went (they didn't) n now the kids have memories of rides they never have seen before (please don't abuse this lol)

There are a LOT of people out there who genuinely do NOT try to improve. They remain the same... Even when they could get better. Not everyone is trying to improve, so if you are, you're doing wonderful n keep it up ❤️

Burger king foot fungus

[readymades2002]

HM i think i will work on finishing my current sorting project before the year ends...i have a little under 900 songs left to go through which is more than halfway so i think its doable if i work hard 💪

[uitzinnigmp3]

hi sas!! 1, 9, and 32 for the gif questions! hope you’re having a good day 💖💖

hi roryy tysm for the ask!! i did have a good day, hope you have one too 💞

1. what are your top 3 favorite sets you’ve made?

ohh this is the hardest question out of all of them skdjsk i'm gonna cheat and do 4 of them shhhh, i don't even know for sure if these are my favourites but they're def up there!

alt er back to school week - this gifset was my first time doing overlays and honestly? it slaps god this is actually SO GOOD SKDJSJD i love looking back on this one

malina + book quotes - while i may not show it that often i am 100% a malina stan and reading tgt never fails to make me cry, so i thought i'd choose some of my fav moments to make this set and it turned out so well pls...

dodie's birthday - i really didn't expect much from this set, just wanted to do something for my fav musicians birthday but i actually really love how it turned out!! turns out i am actually able to colour nicely skfjkd who would've thought

druck s6 - ohhh this season. so so beautiful and honestly at first, i really hated this set bc the colouring is all over the place and the quality is really not that good, but now i think it looks really nice!!

9. what/who inspired you to start making gifs?

in may last year (2020) i joined a skamverse server which was full of amazing gifmakers, and after actually joining the fandom and seeing the beautiful things that were being made i really wanted to join in with that! special mentions to magda, eddi and valentina bc they really were the catalysts for this sjdksjd

32. what is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop?

welllll i don't use photoshop so i wouldn't know lol but in the app that i work with, the most fun thing to do is play around with curves (which i think ps has too) but also i love the contrast tool? it can really change the feel of a gif very quickly which i think is really cool!!

send me gifmaker asks!

[novakstiel]

hehe i had offhandedly mentioned wanting an ipad to my mom and dad and it didn’t even cross my mind asking them to buy me one but yesterday they were both suddenly like “oh your birthday’s this month?? about that ipad.....” and i mean they’re divorced and do not talk so they both had that idea on their own, so i guess i’m gonna get an ipad hehe

[justtothesea]

FAQs about things+ fanworks use policy & contact info at the end

This is my personal (fannish) tumblr for all my fandoms. I reblog other's posts sometimes but mostly I use this tumblr to post my own art and answer asks/fangirl. I am in my damn 30s, so minors be wary (asks about rated g works from minors are okay)

Why is some of your older fanart not posted here?

Weell here's the thing. My old tumblr josiemus-prime was flagged to death because of the nsfw art I'd posted on it. I'm trying not to let that happen to this one (hence the censoring of some art with links to the uncensored versions on ao3). In other cases… I'm just not very fond of some of my old art and for pure ~aesthetic~ reasons I don't want them here (but it's still viewable there!).

Can you restore the link to [missing fanart] on ao3?

Sadly, some of my old art links are dead and gone forever. But I didn't delete them! I have never purposefully deleted any fanart, the only reason they're gone is that I lost the original files, and hosted the images on sites that were unreliable or now defunct (like imageshack or tinypic). I am going to try to redraw some of them eventually though! I hate seeing the dead links :(

Could you help me find [fic example]?

I have answered this in more detail on the faq page of my recs site but the short of it is; you're welcome to ask me anything! But I can't promise I can help all that much with newer fic/themed recommendations. I've listed some other helpful links on my recs faq if you're interested.

Why is some of your fic under another name?

I made thewordsleep as a way to try out other fandoms, but I'm happy with those fics so I've listed them here. I haven't moved them all over to my main account because I'm told people are subscribed to that profile in case I update there.

Why haven't you answered my ask/message?

I'm so sorry! I definitely try to answer them all, but my inbox gets flooded with bots and tumblr eats old asks sometimes bc I'm bad at getting back to people in a timely manner. If you can be bothered, you can send duplicates of the same message so I can notice it faster ;_; sorry again, I want to be friend.

What programs/hardware do you use for your fanworks?

I use Adobe Photoshop 2020 and I've started using Krita for sketching (which is completely free to use). I draw using a Intous Wacom, and I use Sony Vegas 16.0 for vidding. My art and texture resources can be found right here, under resources.

In regards to using my fanworks as prompts or inspiration for fic, vid cons, or anything else:

Go for it! Whatever it's for, I really appreciate being told about it in a comment or message in advance. Links to whatever it's used for are also nice. You can contact me if there are any issues with downloading videos, or if there's expired links or some such, and I'll try to help out if I can!

Please don't:

Claim my work as your own! Please do not copy my works to another site (i.e wattpad/ffn/ao3/pinterest/goodreads). Also, do not link anything found here to the people they are about - actors, band members, writers, etc - unless I have stated in the post or tags that you can. I realise that these days the fourth wall is about as real as the Tooth Fairy, but I'd still like to keep some of those imaginary boundaries. Thank you!

If there's anything else you'd like to contact me about you can always find me here on tumblr, or you can email me directly here: josiefanworks@gmail.com :)