#bc if i don't pass this class i WILL drop out lol

[witchwhaat]

fighting for my life (trying to write that damn essay and to not cough my lungs out)

[theflyingfeeling]

For some reason I was thinking about BC’s Fuck marry kill and how everyone else joked around but Joel was all serious about his ”I’d fuck Olli because he’s the most handsome” -answer 😭 like yes we been knew you’re sexually attracted to him (him filming him half naked doing yoga and all that) but. really?? 😭

(and for legal reasons this is a joke)

Joeeeeeellll your bisexuality is showing agaaiiinn 🙄

I mean, I'm convinced the whole fucking band is sexually attracted to Olli (who's completely oblivious to it and think the others are just messing with him) because who woudn't be, honestly?

Tommi commenting how Olli always looks good?

Niko saying Olli is the most handsome in the band?

Joonas having a whole-ass sexual awakening watching Olli paint a broccoli shamrock on his chest? (Yes, I may have stared at a gif of this for unreasonably long yesterday)

To conlcude, they all a little gay for Olli 💕

[barbi2709]

Internal jokes with my friends I wanna explain to TXT

Disclaimer: This and each of my stories are only fiction and are not intended to offend or make anyone uncomfortable, if this type of content makes you uncomfortable, feel free to leave without resentment :]

Genre: Crack (?)

a/n: Lol, I just thought about this a few minutes ago and it's so silly, sadly our internal jokes are in Spanish bc we're Mexicans but I did my best trying to explain it, sorry if it's not funny but if you're Hispanic it'd make sense I guess

[🌱] Choi Yeonjun

"Al power point"

So this is an evolution

In Mexico we have our own way of saying "Fr" which is "al chile"

So my friends and I made it evolution.

It passed from "al chile" to "al chili dog"

And then it passed to "al power point"

Let's be real, Yeonjun LIKES the dad's jokes

And even if this is not one of them, the fact that he's saying it while make it sound like a dad's joke.

Like imagine the members faces if they're gossiping about something and Yeonjun just says "al power point" out of nowhere

I can see Soobin's nasty look already

(rest of the members under the cut)

[🌱] Choi Soobin

"Que risa cepillin"

Now this HAS context

Like, a lot

So it all started with this video (sfw link ig)

Translation of the video: Uhhhhh, It reminds me of my childhood, when I was in kindergarten and we did a play. Haaaaaaaa! What a laugh cepillin, you're a fool and stupid

Now, Cepillin is an icon in Mexico, he was a kids comedian who used to do TV variety shows and stuff

So the video is a meme of a hater of cepillin calling him stupid and "naco" (It doesn't have a literal translation, but it's used to refer to someone of very low class and without manners)

So my friends and I use it ALL the THE TIME when someone makes a bad joke

We just say like "Que risa cepillin, con tus payasadas" With The most sarcastic grin and then we drop the smile inmediatly

Believe me, it's hilarious

I'd explain it to Soobin bc mf is sassy as hell

"Beomgyu is too bratty to know that he's an introvert and Soobin is too introverted to know he's bratty too"

So I see him making fun of the members with this

Like, someone made the worst joke ever (Yeonjun saying "al power point" lmao)

And he'll just go "Que risa cepillin 😀😐"

[🌱] Choi Beomgyu

"Cállate la bola"

Okay it literally means "shut the ball up"

Here comes the context:

So I had a sociology teacher that wasn't from Mexico (He was from Ecuador or Perú, idk & idc)

And whenever the class got too loud he shouted "Chicos, parenme bola!"

The literal translation is "Stop my ball"

But it's used as a way to say "Guys, pay attention"

But here in Mexico it sounds really bad lmao

Bc you're literally saying "stop my ball"

That kind of ball

So we make fun of it

So now my friends and I say "Cállate la bola" even if we're not talking at all lol

I would explain this to Beomgyu bc he's so loud and literally teases someone every time he breaths

So I think he'd say it to the members every 3 seconds even if they're not talking 💀

[🌱] Kang Taehyun

"Totn"

Okay so, this started for a friend that texts like shit

Like, she wrote once that she was heterogeneous instead of heterosexual (straight)

So that happened, instead of writing "tonta/tonto" (silly or stupid), she wrote "totn" which can be pronounced like "toten"

And we started saying it all the time like, "Fucking totn" or "Que totn" (what a totn)

I see Taehyun using this one because I don't see him as someone who swears a lot.

So this "insult" is perfect for him

Like, I can see him making fun of one of the members mistake, like, chuckling with a shit eating smirk and saying "Ha, totn" or even "Fucking totn"

[🌱] Kai Kamal Huening

Any Spanish word with the termination "eta/ete"

Example:

Cocina (kitchen) = cocineta

Lápiz (pencil) = lapicete

So, idk if Kai swears

Like, ik I'm babying him but let's say he doesn't

So my friends are ALWAYS adding and "eta/ete" to EVERYTHING

With the most annoying tone ever I swear

So I see Kai doing the same to tease his members

Especially with fake aegyo

Something like "Can I have the manzaneta?" (manzana = apple) while doing aegyo

His members are so tired of him by now

Like he'll call them "miembretes" as "miembros" (members) when he wants to taste the patience

I also see him saying "ojete" as "ojo" which means eye, but "ojete" means anus LMAO

[jabeur]

i was tagged by @drunkenromantic and @steffigraf to do the get to know me tag thank youuu <3 (ericka i'm doing it on this blog even if you tagged my main sdksdn)

1. Do you make your bed?

not always but i prefer to! it makes my space feel neat and welcoming (even if it's just to myself lol that's what matters) and it's so nice when i get home and my bed's all tidy bc i made it before going out it's like. ah yes i beat mental illness this morning

2. Favourite number?

19!!!!!

3. What's your job?

an office job in a social cooperative. specifically my office's digital transformation which probably means nothing to anyone

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

well you see. absolutely not! i mean i could probably take night classes to get a high school diploma, i don't want to but i could, but like actually going back to school ? jesus, no. middle and high school were awful

5. Can you parallel park?

i can't drive (yet ?)

6. Do you think aliens are real?

yeah. not in a conspiracy theories way or whatever but i think it'd make sense if they were

7. Can you drive a manual car?

i can't drive any car (yet ?)

8. Guilty pleasure?

mh i don't know? maybe that i too often fall into the temptation of eating outside of meal times and that ruins my appetite and my schedule which makes me mad at myself sdjsjdbs

9. Tattoos?

i have two (like ericka!) both on my right arm. one's inspired by my favorite place, porto selvaggio in puglia (southern italy) and i love it sooooo much i think it's so pretty (and i get compliments about it pretty regularly which is impressive bc it's not Super easy to see but it catches people's attention who want to see it better). the other's a person painting 3 stars with the lyrics "cambia le tue stelle" underneath. i'd like to get more, but same issues as ericka (what to get?? they're fucking expensive) BUT i'm thinking of like getting an addition to the stars tattoo bc basically the 3 stars represent 2 people + 1 pet who passed away that i love very much and now that my sweet little cat ripy is gone too it feels right to get something for him as well. but i have to decide stuff and i'm super bad at decisions lately :^)

10. Favourite colour?

blueeeeeee. any shade tbh. light blue dark blue pastel blue cobalt whatever. i love all blues

11. Favourite type of music?

i listen to a lot of different genres, in different languages, from different decades etc 😭 but i guess if i had to pick, rn i'd say i lean more towards r&b, classic rock and italian pop

12. Do you like puzzles?

yes!!! word puzzles my beloved! i suck at crosswords but i'm trying to do them anyway bc it is so satisfying when i finish one and it's a good way to learn stuff and keep my mind sharp. i like physical jigsaw puzzles too but actually i haven't done one in aaaaages. now i want to tho

13. Any phobias?

no i don't think so

14. Favourite childhood sport?

i played volleyball during my childhood/early teens, i liked it (i wasn't particularly good at it tho). i didn't really play any other sport until tennis (after i dropped volleyball i think? memories are hard) i love tennis but i didn't take lessons for nearly long enough to be decent at it lmao

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yes all the time. now that i live alone i'm always going on monologues while i pace around the (small, it's a lot of back and forth lmao) apartment or do chores or whatever

16. Tea or coffee?

both. tea tho, i prefer it hot so i mostly drink it during the cold months. i actually didn't drink coffee until like 2 years ago then i got a job and..... being around working italian people, i was doomed to start

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

a writer or journalist

18. What movies do you adore?

so many????? i love cinema. if this means like, genres, then again so many. i'll just give you 3 movies i've watched lately and loved: wife! be like a rose! (1935), letter never sent (1960), calcutta 71 (1972)

idk who's done this already or been tagged so feel free to ignore this but i'm tagging @shapovalovvs @lewisfencer @fortyfive-forty @belteppismo @tiiresias @marcotardelli @carlosheinz <3

[sun-marie]

"People you'd like to know better"

tag game!

I was tagged by @jespardon! Thank you for the tag, words are not really coming to me today so I apologize if this seems kinda clunky 😅

three ships : 

Gale/Tav (BG3): I’m so sorry but this pairing has me in a vice grip 😭❤ The way it just feels so organic!! And it’s so wholesome!! Like watching Zephyr (my tav) and Gale fall in love in the first two acts is simultaneously adorable and heart wrenching, and then watching them stay together through everything in act 3 is just so *clenches fist* so good!! I feel like all I do is talk about them nowadays lol

Shepard/Kaidan (ME): I’ve been thinking a lot about Kaidan recently, and good lord I love his character so much. I’m learning that I’m a big fan of relationships with a breakup or some kind of separation in the middle, only to come back with twice the devotion (fenhawke is another good example). I wasn’t here when those games were coming out since I’ve only played the LE, so I have no idea how the fandom at large see him, but his relationship with Shepard is by far the best part of ME3 for me ❤

Felix/Annette (FE3H): The ultimate comfort ship for me ❤ I love how Annette brings out Felix’s softer side, and I love how smitten he is with her. Opposites attract pairings aren’t usually my cup of tea bc I feel like it’s too easy to write two people who are just incompatible, but these two really benefit from the five year timeskip and the chance to grow with each other (even if they’re physically apart). Idk if that makes any sense, but even despite the fact that it’s been a very long time since I’ve played 3H I still get all warm and fuzzy when I see art of them or read a really good fic about them.

last film :

So I found out recently that my mom had never watched Dreamworks’ “Prince of Egypt” (which was a lie bc she definitely showed it to me as a small child and just didn’t remember), so we sat down together for an afternoon and watched it. I had forgotten how good that movie is, even if some scenes hit particularly hard due to *gestures vaguely* everything. Still to this day my favorite depiction of Moses’s story <3

currently watching :

So not technically watching currently bc I finished it a few days ago, but “Blue Eye Samurai” on Netflix 👀 I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and at the same time I have no idea how to feel about it lol. I’m a weenie so the sex and violence was a bit much for me, but the setting and the story are so interesting, and the characters are SUPER interesting. It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen for a protagonist as hard as Mizu 💙 It almost got too much for me and I nearly dropped it, but then there was that scene with Fowler in the “church” and I was like "oh? Oh so this guy’s like evil evil? to the core? Fascinating 👀👀👀" And I stuck it out til the end! I’m glad I did, it was 100% worth it, even if I had to watch most of it through my fingers lmao.

currently reading :

I am not a huge reader, unfortunately 😅  But for my English class we just finished reading “Passing” by Nella Larsen, which I enjoyed! I don’t feel I have much to add about it, and even if I did I doubt there’d be a ton of value in the 72456456th white person throwing in their two cents on how people of color deal with the racial structure in America

currently consuming :

Baldur’s Gate 3

Coral Island

Way too much sugar (send help)(my tummy hurts)

currently craving :

Mass Effect 2

P*zza H*t thin crust Hamburger Pizza

Sopapilla Cheesecake (my main contribution to the Thanksgiving table, I'm so excited!!)

Tagging @full---ofstarlight @beyondthetower and @thefife01 ! No pressure at all tho if y'all don't feel like it 😊

[romanarose]

hello, how are you? 👋 :)

can i get letter Q with any of the moon boys? 😊

Hi! I am.... stressed with school lol. But, it's Rosh Hashanah so I'm trying to look at it as a fresh start. thanks for asking!

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Steven: Steven remembers everything, fuckers got an encyclopedic memory, it's insane. It's funny, he used to think his memory was shit, missing chunks of time. Now that he knows why that is, he realizes he has a great memory, and he puts it to use for you. He remembers your class and work schedule so he doesn't call and bother you (he could never bother you, but thats beside the point), what foods you like and dont like, he knows exactly where on your back always seems to hurt so he can rub it while you watch tv. He might not always be the most observant of them: maybe he won't notice that you aren't a fan of green beans, bc you always eat them don't you? well of course you eat them, he made them for you! it's not that he doesn't notice bc he's not paying attention, he's just so in love, sometimes he's distracted. But if you tell him you don't actually like green beans, he'll never make them again.

Marc: oh marc, he tries. He really does. But you don't go through everything Marc went through and come out with fully functioning brain power. What he does remember, however, he remembers in detail. Remember the room filled with all the people he's killed? Marc's the kind of person who remembers the name of your 8th grade best friend who fucked you up but not remember that you can speak french. He remembers he big stuff though, anything to do with your safety or happiness. He knows what you don't want during sex, and any allergies you have and he knows what triggers or upsets you. His struggle with the small things just makes it all the more sweet when he remembers your favorite movies or songs. it just means he put extra effort into remembering. Marc does, however, notice everything (i bet you're on the blog from that fic, arent you?) and if it's important enough, he'll maul over it until it's in his long term memory

Jake: Observant son of a bitch. Thats his whole thing. Observing. If you read SSSB, Jake doesn't front much, and he prefers it that way. During Christmas, he spent a lot of time just observing everyones different dynamics and little details. Jake is the one who knows everything, he knows you like rye better than pumpernickel and can list the star wars movies from your favorite to least favorite, although he doesn't even like them. Being the one who previously only showed up rarely, he had a lot of time to just.... think. You know those people in english classes who get really focused on character analysis? thats jake with everyone in marc and steven's lives. That's he fell in love with you, the small things. When Marc went under the table to grab a pen he dropped, you covered the corner of the table in case he hit his head. And for those reading SSSB, despite Jake's initial reservations, he came to love Sam as a friend because of how she cared for Marc and Steven.

send me a letter and a character from moon knight or star wars!

[mushibashiraas]

🛒 I JUSR REALIZED HOW AWFUL AND ROBOTIC I SOUNDFJDJDJ LIKE. i come back after posting the ruggie fic and redoing my theme only to drop a to do list and dip againdjsjdjs ah. uh.

so life update ig? eh. i can talk more about my chronic migraines too since the life update is mainly about themfjdjdj oops. BUCKLE TF UP BC THIS'LL BE LONG (still dont know how to add the "more under the cut" thing on mobile tumblr. too lazy to get out my laptop)

this whole week has been insane! context: my migraines are triggered by bright light, loud sounds, motion-sickness-games (i.e. genshin, Identity V, etc.), weather pressure changes, rainy days/nights, storms, and dramatic temperature fluctuations..... but mainly the last four.

anyway. this week had the first and the second triggers. (and towards the end of this week is supposed to have the last trigger. yay!) one of the things that happens (IF i push myself to power through and "stay conscious" — more on that in a bit) is that i faint. like. not "faint for a couple minutes." nahhhh! i go out for like 10-40 minutes; normally the max is 20. but occasionally, a 40 minute episode'll occur and those are the scary ones.

on tuesday, i had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist pertaining to said migraines and fainting. while waiting to check in, i passed out and fell (i was standing at the time). and the staff and nurses were worried i hit my head so they called for an ambulance to drive me across the street to the hospital ER. i was there all afternoon and almost all night. i finally went home at 11pm. i'll spare yall of the more personal details (what tests were done, the overall experience, etc). all i'll say is that there's a reason why i hate hospitals and needles.

but the visit was long and tedious and terrifying and painful. i cried several times, as well as fainted a few more times between when i came to just as the paramedics arrived and a little after the technicians performed EKGs, etc. [like they usually do whenever someone is first admitted to the ER]. those fainting episodes were only a few minutes tho. not long at all. don't worry!

*sighs* anyway. that visit defined my entire week tho bc i ended up missing a day of work on thursday and a korean language class on wednesday. still felt the usual symptoms (most likely the aftermath) like dizziness, nausea, a heavy, sluggish feeling, soreness/headaches, loss of eyesight, etc.

hope this explanation helps??? i'll get back to writing and gaming soon. aaaaa i have a guaranteed yelan to get ready for anyway. heehee

EDIT: i forgot to add that yall shouldnt worry too much! sorry if i scared yall! these migraines and fainting episodes aren't manageable yet. even tho i can go to work sometimes, i cant drive, take horseback riding lessons (i used to take them), and go to/continue college,,,, i've had them since 2013?? 2014?? and am on medication for them as well as going to a neurologist and cardiologist who are both monitoring my condition and trying to help me and get them manageable so i can do all the aforementioned things i said i can't do.

also, it's not as uncommon as i seem to make it to be. several celebrities (look up Ben Affleck migraines) have chronic migraines, as well as several families/people/co-workers also have or have dealt with chronic migraines and passing out due to them. my own mom and older brother — altho they aren't biologically related to me — also have bad/chronic migraines. my family actually make jokes about my migraines and say i'm a walking barometer lol if anyone lives in the northeastern U.S. text me and check if a storm is coming. lol i can most likely tell you; if i migraine than yes. if i don't than no. lol /j but all jokes aside,,, again. don't worry too much for me. ok? i'm still functioning even if it's at low-HP/hu tao levels (a little genshin/gamer joke/comparison for yall). i'm still shino/em, someone who is so in love with jamil and xiao and rindou that they'll devote all their time and resources to taking care of them. heehee! ❤️❤️

[1d1195]

SAMANTHA BE SO FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW?!?! WTF?!?!?! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US😭 I AM SPRIALING!!!

okay long story short I got locked out of my tumblr account bc i don't know what happened?? anyways i just got access about half an hour ago so I went to see your blog and girl... WTF PART 6 WAS SO GOOD!

I was LIVING for the angst at the beginning! I don't think it felt forced at all if anything they both have met their match in terms of stubbornness and as a stubborn girly this aspect was very familiar for me lol Harry calling her out on not opening up and not accepting help? he kinda went off lol But dare I say I enjoyed it a bit simply because then angst lol BUT did i feel attacked? YES!

Anywaysss her breakdown later on... bestie :( it broke my heart how much guilt she carries with her! And as someone who deal with having too much guilt it is HELL going through life and thinking everything wrong with yourself and the ppl around you is your fault! and the situation with her dad?!?!?! HELLO?!?! 💔 and her MOM💔 I am a hater :)

But so glad that it got resolved and having them talk it out and just Harry not giving up on her and her not trying to distance herself again! and Harry talking with her dad😭 I cant! I really enjoyed their little moment together!

NOW THAT FUCKING BOXING MATCH I KNEW SHIT HAD TO GO DOWN BUT FUCK ASS JACK COMING BACK??!?😭😭😭😭 SAM WHY?!?!? heart DROPPED when I read that! I felt like grabbing towels was not gonna end good but HIM ew i cant! I AM FREAKING OUT FOR HER!!!!

You did so great bestie!!! I never doubt you!

also I missed you this week! I hope you are starting to feel a bit better now! May is almost over so you will be free soon! Hope you are treating yourself, love you lots!-💜

The Government name SENDS me every time 🤣 I know I've been waiting to hear what you think I assumed classes and such were overwhelming (and I'm sure they still are!) but LOCKED OUT OF TUMBLR??? I would pass away. Soooooo glad you're back 💕

Oh twin, I get you. I like to make Harry call out my MCs every once in a while just because I need someone to call me out every now and again. I think if I were dating Harry and he told me off I might HAVE to listen. (But no other man, thank you.)

Thank you for saying it didn't feel forced I really appreciate that! I was def nervous and thought it was just kind of rushed/it came out of nowhere, but again I'm the only one in my head coming up with 1000 different scenarios a minute to continue the story so you all don't get to see the montage of changes in half a second.

Idk what possessed me to come up with such a scenario. I suppose the AP Literature girl in me would probs say a really tragic backstory is symbolic in some way of how I'm feeling and allow me to vent my own frustrations/guilt in an outlet like this. I also don't have the best dad-daughter relationship and I wanted to make this one nicer but still kinda sad. Idk. I'm REALLY glad you liked it 💕

I did try to warn you all that the cliffhangers prior in the story were nothing in comparison to this part hehehehehe 🤭 I didn't really know how to end this series tbh so this seemed... the most plausible/best way? I'm already starting to think about

I'm glad you liked it even if you had to use my full name 💕

My week is slightly better I suppose. I'm still pretty tired, but with no work on Monday I'm hopeful I can read a trashy book and do something enjoyable. Thank you for being so sweet, I hope your week has been well. I missed you SO much! 💕

xoxo

[zukotheartist]

Hiii :) i need a bit of help

(Ik i said i wouldnt do rant posts here but this one is also advice seeking? So we'll let it slide this time)

It's about uni and mental health and jobs, etc and just overall oversharing lmao. Feel free to skip ofc lol but if anyone has some advice/opinions to share, im all ears.

Basically, i just really don't know what to do with my life💀. I even took a gap year in between hs and uni to decide and ig it still didnt work😭.

I'm in uni studying languages (mandarin, portuguese and japanese) and the language part is going well so far, I guess? (And I do like it!). I even like a few of the other subjects (some of them i only have them for 1 semester so theyre not major subjects) but i really just cant handle it???

I wasn't happy with my choice in the sense that I think my job prospects after uni won't be great but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle anything else (im terrible at stem and most high-paying jobs require it lol + i have depressive episodes 24/7💀 and im pretty sure i have adhd*). But even picking smth i like and am not terrible at (not great at either but at least it's not math lol) im not able to handle it???

I was trying really hard at first, i didn't want to fuck this up, but the rhythm needed is just... way too much for someone who stuggled all throughout hs and has shit mental health.

I managed to work hard for a bit (studying everyday after class, doing 8hr study sessions during the weekend, revising quickly while waiting in line, etc) but then i let loose (or even went full days/weeks with minimal amount of studying) bc it was so overwhelming and now im cramming like 2/3 months worth of 3 different subjects and my exams are in Jan/Feb (the first available dates on the 10th) and ill be lucky to pass a single one of them with the speed im going at.

Even on days i get up early to study and barely even look at my phone, it's just too much stuff and im not fast enough + i lack a lot of things bc of my slacking off in hs.

I go to uni in Italy and if you fall behind u have to pay more but ig it's better than putting all this effort and most of all money to then just drop out and be left degreeless?

But I feel so freaking terrible bc i literally dont even work part-time or anything and i still live with my parents and theyre the ones paying for all of my stuff basically? So to add a higher cost bc i couldnt keep up with uni🥲 but then, if i take a part-time job, ill be making some money but uni will be going even worst and itll still be a waste of money???

I've talked to multiple therapists/psychiatrists, asking them even for LIGHT anxiety meds and *all* of them have refused (I also made it clear that I would still go to therapy even if I got meds but nothing).

Studying calms me down a bit but even tho ive started doing it daily again and for hours on end, im still akskdkdkrkr

Ill talk to my family and my therapist but i honestly dont know wtf to do with my life. Ik the whole "dont cry over spilled milk" thing but i really wish i could re-do hs to not be in this fucking mess.

It doesn't really help that my only goal in life is to make a lot of money bc i think ill be alone (both romantically and platonically) forever but with the way it's going, ill be lucky to get a minimum wage one (im not saying it as a diss, those are respectable jobs too but like i said, my only goal is to make money so i can live comfortably and distract myself from my depression lmao).

This is all very specific and i doubt anyone responds (let alone reads) but if anyone does read, tysm for reading this sad long rant🫂🫂🫂. I pretty much wont be able to see my therapist until just a bit before my exams so this was also my way to let out some frustration.

.

.

.

*Ive tried to get an official diagnosis, and it's fine if im wrong ofc, but i was immediately denied and told that couldnt be it... bc of my age lmao💀

[scottsumrners]

What is the story of the "straight" guy from fifteen years ago, Nando dearest?

oh, damn. i think i've talked about him before, but... well.

okay, bit of a backstory: i (may) have a condition (which i didnt know at the time but i know now) that makes my bones... weaker. to the point where i've broken or dislocated or otherwise fucked up the same foot/leg 6 times. the second-to-last time it happened, i was 12/13 years old, i was swinging my little cousin around, and then i lost balance and.... well. i'm not sure exactly how it was possible, but i managed to break 3 toes and the ligament of my ankle. had to put the foot in a cast, but the guy who made the cast fucked it up, so i had to take it off early, and my foot was... let's call it "damaged".

for an entire whole ass year, I couldn't touch the ground with my foot. i had to shift my weight to the other side. not a fun experience.

but then i found out that a way it could be helped was through swimming, so my mom put me in swimming classes in the gym nearby. one problem with the swimming instructor was that he was a psycho who thought he was training a bunch of kids to the olympics, but it was still an improvement on the previous trainer, who was a serial groper.

so for the first two weeks i was there, doing the initial training. i've always been a shy kid, so i didn't talk to anyone, i didn't really interact much, i was always kind of in the corner.

and then He came. and because he was new, too, he sat right next to me. and because he was sociable, we sorta became... friends.

and this is the part where things kind of get... muddier, memory-wise. because i remember he being... more than a little friendly at times. like running his hands down my back (he was "admiring my tattoo"), waiting for me outside of the restroom, and looking a bit pissed when someone else walked in, asking stuff like "hey i'm alone at home, you wanna come over and hang out?" (i burned him a dvd with the first few episodes of heroes, and we talked about anime a bit. mostly death note). and there were other bits and pieces that to me, now, seem flirty, but at the same time, am i misremembering it? am i letting my judgement of the past be clouded by what i believed happened, opposite to what actually happened? i don't know. what i know is that i never took up on his offer, and 2 months later i dropped out of the class, because my foot was better, but more importantly, my mother didn't have money to pay for it

after that i didn't see him for a whole year. but then a year later i joined another, different gym, and a few weeks later, guess who was also at that gym? he came to talk to me and was all like "hey idk if you remember me" like i wasn't thinking about him constantly. i downplayed it though.

then the first few times i was there and he was there, he came to talk to me, but again - i'm incredibly shy, and he always had a friend nearby, so i never initiated anything, so one time he called me a stuck up and stopped talking to me altogether :)

i still saw him a few times over the years. when i was going to my english course, my bus would drop me off and i'd have to go down the street where he lived. one time he was coming from the store to his house and i was coming down the street and he kinda... stopped? in front of his house? like, until i passed? but i only saw him when i was almost on top of him, bc i had my head down, looking at my phone lol

the same thing happened a few years later, i was looking down on my phone at the mall, and i stopped, and when i looked up he was standing RIGHT in front of me. i also saw him a few times on the bus i took to work and he took to college. but we never really talked

the last time i saw him was kinda nuts though, because it was such a weird specific series of events for it to happen... like, I was taking ENEM (which is kind of like the SATs, but if you get a good grade, you can get straight into a college), and i went to the testing place. but - for the FIRST time in my life - i forgot my wallet with my documents, so i had to go back to the bus station, call my mom, and ask someone to go there and deliver it to me, and then rush back to the testing place. i arrived originally 20 minutes before the doors opened, and by the time i got there a second time, it was 5 minutes before it closed.

and just as i got there, he was stepping out of the car. now, usually, the testing places are completely random, but this one year they decided to do it by the first letters of the names of the participants, and both our names start with F. still, of all the gin joints in the world...

later that day he made a post on facebook about memories and old feelings and stuff, but i'm sure it had nothing to do with it.

i think that might have been the last time i saw him, actually, come to think of it... i think it's been like, four years. still, every once in a while i think about him - which is, again, pathetic and sad, but... 🤷‍♂️

[mallahanmoxie]

realize this is a very specific bone to pick with mine own (ex) université/program but. a lot of these professors are experts in their fields and their knowledge and experience is invaluable BUT they're not really... teachers. they're just professionals that go into a room and give lectures and shit. there's really no incentive to procure the learning process of the students by ANY of the faculty and the administration beyond empty words in the performative political language they're so deeply steeped in. which is like, fine, i guess, considering the pay is laughable and all of them have vastly better things to occupy their time with. but this is also the reason why you have such a high rate of drop outs, a low rate of inscriptions and are little more than a painfully slow dying breed of intellectuals.

[meursaulty]

studying under each of the arcanum scholars is like... [hcs]

sometimes i forget that the arcanum is wizard college lol

the game just gives you ione as an advisor/mentor figure by default, and don't get me wrong, i love her, but i feel bad about ignoring the others. SO... please accept my humble offering of hcs (longish post):

qyburn stellargaze

i'm sorry but he seems like the type of guy to give you stuff like this

you ask him what he wants from you by the end of the week and he gives you 4 different, contradictory answers

but honestly he doesn't care as long as you have something at the end of the week

is one of those professors that cancels class bc they don't want to teach that day

he's disorganized, but it's really because he just has so many projects going on at once, even with your help. he does still want you to actually learn though... he can go on for days answering almost any question you have about astral magic and celestian history/culture if you're just straightforward about it

baba yaga

also a little disorganized, but more on the side of chaotic than forgetful

often contacts you 5 mins before your arranged meeting time telling you to meet her in some other world so she can show you a spell

*gives 50 assignments* *complains about having to grade them all* *proceeds to drop half of them because she doesn't think they're useful anymore*

would give your grade a phat curve at the end just for funsies 🤪

if your wizard is from earth, she would love to hear what children's/folk tales you remember

has made mellori guest lecture at least once (even though it's all stuff you already know, having graduated from ravenwood)

her classes aren’t necessarily difficult, just verrryyy confusing at times. somehow, you still make it out just fine and manage to have a good time?? cyrus drake could NEVER

ignus ferric

lets you work the forge of legends for extra credit but still makes you buy the recipes full price (reagents are pricey and he's gotta fuel his own work somehow)

most of your work with him is helping him develop new spells

likes to go around the arcanum with you to check on the other scholars in the name of ~interdisciplinary study~ ... really more of a social call but whatever

sometimes gives you tasks that are very sketchy in terms of safety. no he hasn't tested them himself. but he'll do them with you!! pyromancers burn bright when they work together!

he's generally one of the more lighthearted scholars, but he'll take it down a notch and be real with you should the situation call for it. pep talks, the cold hard truth, whatever you want...

ione virga

she's intense as a mentor - she likes original work so a lot the time you spend under her is exploring uncharted territory in the field of divination

a harsh grader... you're gonna have to sell your soul for an a

but she isn't tough without reason! she just has high standards, a reputation to uphold, and she wants you to do your very best

growth mindset girlie -- really, she isn't out to get you. she wants you to learn from your mistakes. resilience and problem solving are as important as the magic when it comes to her teaching

she lets up a little by the end of your term, because she knows she isn't easy on you

says she doesn't take late work but she actually does as long as she hasn't gotten around to grading yet anyway (just don't tell anyone or she'll change the policy)

jaki whisperwind

as long as you leave her tutelage having learned something, she's happy

will draw you multicolored diagrams, give demonstration upon demonstration, and explain theories and concepts in 759487 different ways if it means getting you to understand

aesthetically, she's like one of those Pinterest Teachers, but in practice she's actually bearable -- positive, but not in a toxic way

she doesn't believe in grades lol. she will literally give you an a for effort

but she's big on mutual respect. you have to fulfill your duties as a student just as she fulfills hers as a teacher. you can't just do the bare minimum and expect to pass (because you won't)

gives bonus points if you bring her a souvenir from unicorn way

qismah shasa

qismah has the most traditional style of teaching

she of course still has the arcanum flair for making you go out on your own and get practical experience, but solo adventures would be bookended by preliminary research and formal written reports/presentations

^ which you already kinda do in canon at the end of worlds

she makes you edit and revise your reports a million times before your final submission, which is annoying but actually quite helpful for your future work

keeps copies of your best work on the shelves in her office

she comes off pretty serious and focused, but if you're both free, she'll gladly welcome you into her office and tell you stories about mirage or the history of her various decorations/trinkets

tarrak hadfield

proud supporter of hands on experience - whether that's sending you out to face some creature or just sparring with him in a practice room

likes exploring the extremes - how much damage can you do (offensive) and how little can you take (defensive)?

you don't have to do much written work for him. what he really wants to see is improvement in how you perform magic, so most of your grade comes from the aforementioned hands on experience

he doesn't feed you answers. he wants you to assess your own strengths/weaknesses before he tells you them to make sure you're thinking critically about what you're doing. basically, you dictate what would otherwise be your written work

sets aside days to spend outside doing a non-magic/non-combat activity like climbing to keep some variety

velma von venkman [credit to @wizzycore for this dynamic]

velma barely has any pull at the arcanum (src) so you can bet that if you were studying under her, you'd be doing the grunt work with her... she would probably still be trying for her tenure while having you as a student

this means following her around to some pretty nasty places and defeating various creatures/collecting shadow essence to study instead of just reading about said creatures

can't rely on existing research if you are the research

working with her would feel more like a group project at times - she gives you a lot of control over how to go about things

despite how she's mentoring you, she's still fairly new to the arcanum and would be very understanding if you needed an extension/day off ("sorry, velma. can't get my draft in today, new world-ending threat just came in" / "yeah that's cool just forward it to me when you can")

zander

he's one of those flipped classroom people, where you teach yourself most of the material and spend the time you have with him reinforcing it

because do you really want to sit through a telepathically delivered lecture...

a lot of the time he just tells you to go off and do something new/fun/comfortable before reporting back

but there is a point to it ^ he wants you to see firsthand how your own experiences play into the quality of your magic (e.g. what makes a spell really effective? what inner intention, linked to what feeling? then, how do you channel that intention in the future?)

he's more knowledgeable on the theories of theurgy than the combat skills that the savior of the spiral would need, so he teaches you attack spells, but sends you to practice them with another scholar or initiate

one of his class requirements is just sitting with him in his office and joining his meditation. it's actually very nice

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

contemplated whether or not this shluld be anon or not ghdkfkdk but oh well… tis me westview! but u know that pls okay sorrysorry

bestie i read the summary of afterlife and 😀 that exact meme of ralph going im in danger is racing through my head pls

anyway it’s like, almost four am for u gjskfkdk i really dont know how to not bother u anywhere pls

want to drop these here bc <33333 like yes absolutely tumblr heppa is my FAVOURITE favourite 🙇🏻‍♀️ plus ice bear writing (ice bear writing with his left hand so true me too — that is literally me writing ur letter WATCH im gonna actually write one)

plus panda and ice bear <33 thats us talking on discord pls (im about to pass out on the floor) (but i’m determined to read your angst) (will i cry? maybe) (worth it though) (i also have so much homework omg)

lmao no, you made the right call, you gotta be off of anon so you don't hide how sweet you are (also lol idk anyone else who would send this)

you're gonna make me cry after just waking up by being SO DAMN SWEET. And that image of ice bear giving out hearts is me to you bc ily bestie <3333 thank you for the message 🥺

Look I promise Afterlife is still a happier ending than wolfie's (which you agreed to) BUT I don't class it as a happy ending lol, but it's not an unhappy ending!

pls pls you are never bothering me, I love getting your messages everywhere 🥺 this has already made my day (but I'm also waiting patiently for your reblog because I know it is going to be lovely and make me smile so much 🥰🥰

Anyway I sure hope you're sleeping now, but pls... it is okay to sleep without just passing out 😭

[hematomes]

omg the way our brains synced,,, knew we were meant to be<3

the day with my mom went surprisingly well all thanks to your blessing! thank you sweets<3

ok the person who showed you the answer sounds like a sweetheart. you shouldn't feel guilty, good things come to good people is all. besides, people like that really be the backbone of society😌. im glad the exam went well for you too<3

tbh for all the weird shit that latin has i kinda like it. i study anc greek too so honestly in comparison latin is,, chill. i totally get why you'd wanna drop it though. may your future endeavors be better🙏🏼 (i just realised i have no idea what you study. at the same time i realise you've probably mentioned it somewhere and i might just be dumb)

study sessions with friends are better than i thought for sure! im really used to studying alone so im actually surprised it worked lol i talk to myself so much it borders on insane

it's only 7pm but i feel so drained!! i almost asked how your day went bc i thought it was already night hshfjd well, i hope it's going well<3

true soulmates, it started with chicken soup and look where we are rn.... sigh <3

hhhh very good news im!!!! glad!!

honestly yeah i can't thank them enough lmao 😭 they also gave me a cig during our little break so im naturally falling in love

oh god i took one (1) class of ancient greek and noped the f out of this class ten minutes in LMAOOO AIN'T NO WAY i love ancient greece culture but that was way too much for my tiny brain. i. admire you

(im not even sure if i said it tbh, but i study french literature!! i did three years in english lit before but decided to go back to french bc the whole doctorate/master/idk what it is called in other countries scared me lol) (it's fun tbh)

good surprise then!!! ify tho, i don't know if i could really study with ppl. i did once with a friend for a bible study but this mf kept talking and correcting my notes bc he's way too smart for his own good 🙄 (i love him)

hhhh well 7pm means most of the day passed so!!! you're good hehe. and it's 6:15pm here so 👀 already night BC THE SUN GOES DOWN SO FUCKING EARLY NOW but yeah my day went great i literally did nothing except watch ytb videos and eat oranges for some reason. sundays, man. hbu, did you have a nice day? <3

[wingfics]

HELLO !!! i am here and i wanted to know more about ff7r and crisis core !!! i have so many questions and they may be dumb but. i don't care. are they the same thing? are they different? when do sephiroth and genesis and angeal come in!!! do you have any headcanons or other details about them (or the game/games!!!) that you can share!!! i like hearing you talk about all these things and i like learning!!! -heavenshipped 💗

AAAAAAH LIV @heavenshipped YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD BUT IN A REALLY GOOD WAY!!! ok this uh. despite my best efforts is gonna get Really Long. i'm gonna probs put hcs in a separate post but even then i just KNOOOW this will b long despite that <3 I Just Have A Lot Of Thoughts And Love In Me Alright

SO!! some handy terms and abbreviations to know before we set off on backstory!

squeenix/squenix/squinx: square enix, the game developers

ff7: final fantasy 7! like last year or smth, squeenix put out the first part of the remake, aka ff7r :D the protag of the game is cloud and the primary antagonist is seph after he loses his mind thanks to an alien called jenova :/ angeal and gen r both canonically dead in this game, but i’m hoping for flashbacks ft them in the second part!

cc: crisis core, a prequel for ff7 that's about zack's time as a soldier! zack and cloud were friends and we get to see that in this game, along with that sweet sweet geal/seph/gen content, so it holds a special place in my heart for that reason :') side note: this game also makes me jealous of zack, bc aerith is set up as his love interest :^) we r Homosexualising

shinra: shinra electric power company, the company that founded and runs the city of midgar and the SOLDIER program

ASGZC: angeal, sephiroth, genesis, zack, and cloud, my BOYS,, can be shortened to ASG for the himbo holy trinity

SOLDIER: the name of the program AND the job title! angeal, seph, gen, zack, and i were first class soldiers before we did some treason bc shinra Sucks

mako: liquid energy within the planet that shinra uses to make power. it's. not a renewable resource, but they sure use it like one! it's also used to enhance the soldiers and gives them a sickass blue-green eyeglow

AIGHT let's-a go!! ⚠️ all of this is subject to change bc i am Just Like That! also the canonical timeline for ff7 is a mess so i made up my own dates ⚠️ so zack and i are bffs who met when we were 15 and had just moved to the centre of midgar in order to join the SOLDIER program! female soldiers r pretty uncommon and i wasn't too keen on living in the dorms, so after Just A Couple Months of knowing each other, zack and i got an apartment together. in hindsight we shouldn't have made it seven years, but somehow we didn't burn the place down ONCE. he's only Four Months Younger than me, so he complains whenever i call him little brother, but ik he doesn't actually mind :')

when zack was 16, angeal started mentoring him, which was the first time i met angeal! it's funny, i like. Saw seph and gen in passing, but never had any reason to talk to them ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ when i was 17, an accident on a mission revealed that i had a real talent with magic, and p much right after that, genesis took me on! while this was largely bc he's renowed for his skill w magic and thus was the best person to teach me, it was also in part to save me from becoming a lab rat, and i'm still grateful that he offered to do that.

zack met cloud first when we were 18 and was like "can we keep him" and i am immune to zack's puppy dog eyes but not to cloudlet's! so he basically became the third roommate ^_^ cloud also wanted to join soldier, so he thought zack and i had the coolest job Ever (AND we had met general sephiroth!!! holy fuck!!!)

despite appearances, seph is the youngest of ASG. by crisis core, angeal is 26, gen is 25, and seph, the babey of the family, is 23. (he's only a year older than me and zack... cloud's still only 20 tho lol rip) why YES, shinra does in fact use child soldiers! why do you think we did the treason! 😊😊 seph is ALSO not immune to cloud, specifically how persistent and sharp he is, and decided to mentor him when cloudlet was 18 (after being a child soldier himself, seph's got some... reservations abt the concept lmao)

gen and i were SOOOO awkward and stupid around one another at first!!!! because we were so close in age that i was like yeah you're teaching me but i have friends who are 20. we're still in the Being Friends gap. and he took a hot sec to make up his mind and be friends. he didn't catch feelings until i was like. 20, but it was a STEEP and precipitous drop lmao

angeal 🤝 me: being The Semi-Well Adjusted Ones responsible for keeping our two other idiot friends alive. fr we bonded over years' worth of keeping zack from running off cliffs and falling into manholes. he also taught me how to cook. zack jokingly referred to us as mom and dad for years. we were the most likely to get into disagreements but the least likely to actually argue bc neither of us like. enjoys arguments that much. angeal literally refused to let himself have AAAANY feelings for yours truly until i was 21, which i appreciate thank u king

learning that seph was A SINGLE YEAR OLDER THAN ME was the Biggest twist of 17 year old me's life on g-d. and i took that VERY personally ngl like i INSTANTLY decided that as another member of the "consistently mistaken for a much older Adult person" gang, we were GONNA bond!!! and we did!!! i'm largely responsible for his taste in music and i am VERY proud of this, tyvm. he's also kind of a swords nerd (his sword has a name...) and that rubbed off on me over time. if u asked him he couldn't rly tell u when he first had a crush on me, but i can tell u that the pining had become obvious by the time i was 19 and he was 20 uwu

AND BECAUSE I CAN NEVER LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE!! i threw in a one-sided bodyguard romance bc nobody can stop me. sorry tseng LMAO that's a whole separate spotify playlist tho so i will not include it here ffhshdgs if u would like to hear abt that feel free to ask tho!!

liv i LOVE u sm!!! thank u for letting me talk abt this i have simply been EXPLODING with thoughts, plans, and information about ff7!!!!! hopefully this was all vaguely coherent, bc i loved being able to share it with YOU!!!!! i didn't make that pink on purpose i just think my emotions got so strong that tumblr decided it had to be pink /j

[womenlovingwocky]

eeeeeuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh