#bc if i manifest this im going to be so upset

[thesherrinfordfacility]

"they're not talking" right so for the first one or two eps, there's the possibility that even though they might be compelled to work as a team, they will still likely be really angry with each other, and act like strangers, or just simply like they cant stand each other. like yeah the unconditional love is unassailable and all, but the tragedy is that at the start of s3 they might actually end up treating each other - projecting that anger and guilt and longing - exactly as they were meant to since the beginning. we've never truly seen them be adversaries in anything but name, and the prospect that s3 might pose what would have happened if they'd never shared all those experiences - and fallen in love along the way - is utterly horrific

[thueenz]

having a malicious entity attached to you is like a game of being surrounded by 50 angry men on xbox all telling you to kill yourself 24/7

[faebriel]

something i will never not be obsessed with doing is picking apart how different characters address each other

[fagutt]

i hate the way that i am but its so ingrained in me that i cant change it . i am complacent

[salemlunaa]

USING SATS FOR THE VOID OR ON ITS OWN:

a guaranteed “method”, where all that you desire is owed to you

IM BACK BITCHES!!!

DID YALL MISS MEEEE?? BC I MISSED YOU

anyway, i know i talk alot about not needing methods, and its true, you don’t need anything but yourself to tap in to the void/“I AM” state. However i dont really see SATS as a method and i think it’s great to consider when looking at loa and shifting

“what is SATS?”

you may ask, well, that is the abbreviation for the “state akin to sleep”

as you can see, the word “akin” means something of a similar nature to, so the state akin to sleep is basically the name to describe the lightheaded, woozy state before you go to bed bed

You can visualise what you want in this state, or you can affirm, you don’t need ten thousand affirmations, one can get the point across you’re a god and the operant power so even with one vague affirmation, your subconscious mind knows exactly what your talking about.

“when will i be able to see my results?”

you may also ask, and let me tell you it is guaranteed that you why what you want as soon as you wake up. This is why this “method” is popular in the loa community because it one of those where your subconscious mind is in full control.

An example of this could be Neville Goddard’s manifesting class. He asked that his students affirm/visualise climbing a ladder during SATS. He then told them to affirm against it during the day, telling themselves that they will NOT climb a ladder. He told his students not to come back if they didn’t climb a ladder and everyone returned.

This example just shows how powerful we can be when we let our subconscious mind take the wheel. All our doubts and fears cancel out and whatever we desire becomes real and no longer remains a desire. You can use this to enter the void, visualise your void and affirm for it and you will wake up there. You can do this for absolutely anything you desire. you can use SATS on its own, a lot of people just love the void so they use SATS to get there, but affirming for your dream life or visualising you waking up in the bed of your dream reality is another method other than the void.

A lot of you may struggle with this because you either, “can’t fall asleep” or you “fall asleep too quickly” while your mind was wondering and to that i say STAY DISCIPLINED!! The same way you would stay disciplined while studying for a test or while working a shift at your job is the same way you must stay disciplined while doing this method. It’s okay to “fail” the first time, and you’re more than allowed to feel upset waking back up in your shitty “reality”. But don’t beat yourself up about it and know that you can always do it again. You can simply decide that SATS is easy for you and it will reflect. always.

And as i always say, you don’t have to wait for the night to do this, ofcourse if you have things to do you don’t need to put them on hold but you don’t need to wait for the night to come, you. an fall into this state at ANY TIME OF DAY, so there goes another excuse for you to procrastinate. Now get to it love, because i KNOW that you can do this.

WAKING UP WITH YOUR DESIRES GUARANTEED SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, BUT DONT LET THAT SCARE YOU. 🔮💋

[remcycl333]

i really like when u talk abt ur own experiences when dealing with all this!! could u expand more on how u manifested ur apartment? like what ur daily life looked like, etc. bc im in a similar situation w a mentally exhausting family and im trying to get tf out lol

TW: narcissistic/co-dependent parent

yeah! so my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me alone with a narcissistic parent, so i knew i really wanted to move out and live on my own. but i had negative circumstances. for instance my parent was really co-dependent, which led to them never letting me get my drivers license or a job. even when i was 20-21. plus this was during lockdown so i didn't really have the ability to learn how to drive from other means. plus along with not being able to drive and not having the money to afford living on my own, i knew my parent would never let me move out bc they didn't want to be alone. so i was really depressed because my situation felt very hopeless.

but then i remembered the power of manifestation. i had manifested an sp at this point and other things, such as appearance changes and money here and there, but this was a "big" manifestation. big meaning that so many dominoes had to fall in just the right places, so to speak. for instance i was nervous that i'd wake up in a new apartment and not be able to pay the rent to live there and have to move out. so i was unsure if i should manifest money first, and then manifest the apartment. but what i was imagining as my end was me in my apartment with more than enough money to survive, so i decided not to manifest in steps.

i was triggered a LOT at first, bc like i mentioned i was dealing with a co-dependent narcissistic parent. like sometimes they'd talk about how i'd still be living at home till i was 25+ and the idea made me go absolutely crazy. i went through months of being miserable at the idea, thinking about how all my peers were living on their own and not having to deal with the shit i did. but eventually i just got so fed up and i decided i just needed to go completely in, because i had been putting off really applying for the longest time.

so what i did was make a note in my notes app describing my dream apartment, and i included pics i found on Pinterest of different features i wanted in my apartment. like what i wanted the kitchen and bathroom to look like, the specific vanity i wanted, etc.

then whenever i thought about it, i'd tell myself i was already there and the apartment was mine. similarly to Abdullah slamming the door on Neville and saying "you are in Barbados", any time i wondered how it would happen or think about how it hadn't reflected yet, i'd tell myself "you are in your dream apartment." it was a reminder that i wouldn't be wondering any of those things, or worrying or doubting, if i was already in my dream apartment. and i already was there in my imagination! so there was no room for me to be dwelling on stuff like that.

throughout the day, i liked to retreat to my imagination when i had time and felt upset about my 3D. i'd do so by imagining that my surroundings were different. for instance i had a picture saved of what i wanted my shower to look like (it was always my dream to have a really really nice bathroom bc my shower has always been a safe space for me of sorts lmao) so when i was in the shower, i'd close my eyes and imagine i was in that shower i had saved from Pinterest. i also did this in the kitchen when i was cleaning or cooking, and while i laid in bed at night before falling asleep.

i also never really let people come over to my house when i lived with my parent(s) bc my co-dependent narcissistic parent would always come up with some completely insane and random reason why they didn't like that friend and i'd never hear the end of it. so i'd have inner convos with myself about how i was excited my friend was coming over later and i'd come up with different things we'd be doing. this was another way i liked to fulfill myself in my imagination.

whenever i was interacting with my parent, as i way to dismiss my 3D, i just pretended i was visiting home and that's why i was with them/at their house. it helped me remind myself that being there wasn't permanent.

this manifestation took me a couple of months, as i was triggered a lot. eventually, after fulfilling myself enough and finding solace in my imagination whenever i felt bad, i was triggered less and less by my 3d and circumstances. i also manifested my parent being chiller and blowing up a lot less.

the final thing i was missing was that i was in a neutral state a lot and i thought because i wasn't upset by my 3d that meant i wasn't in the state of lack. i just had this epiphany recently on my twitter, so it took me a while to correct this issue because i didn't even know it was an issue. i had that epiphany well after successfully manifesting my apartment.

the neutral state was me being like "oh my 3d isn't too bad i kinda like chilling in my room unbothered." so i wasn't upset at my 3d, but i was still also acknowledging i didn't have what i wanted. this was fixed when i started imagining my surroundings as my dream apartment, like i mentioned a few paragraphs up.

and then one day, i woke up and my surroundings felt different. i sleep with a sleeping mask on, so when i wake up and open my eyes, it's still pitch black. but i felt the air around me was different, and the sounds around me were different. like the sound of my ceiling fan in my room was different. then i took off my sleeping mask and i was in my new room, in my new apartment!

it was kinda spooky at first im ngl. at first i thought i was dreaming, but i wasn't (i checked). then i just explored the apartment! i was paranoid i was gonna find someone in my apartment or something 😭 but the apt was exactly how i wanted it to look, and i had plenty of money in my bank account to cover rent and bills and food! and i've been living here ever since with virtually 0 problems :)

[kysuguru]

you REPLIED IM SO HAPPY😭😭🤞 btw the fact that suguru AND satoru are both her love interests im so HAPPY stsg for the WIN!!! i love how suguru and shoko automatically know what satoru is implying cause hes so so OBVIOUS!

i cant imagine the troubles suguru and satoru would have with reader.. shes so enduring and she allows them to do whatever because shes too sweet! ofc shes serious when the time comes down to it but i just know she takes the two lightly and cares too highly of their opinions to really say no to them. i 100% know suguru is worst when it comes to teasing her. in this universe i want to believe suguru does not deflect so he stays there w them. although reader probably does not realize the two actually is in love with her, she probably assumes they are with each other so she does not want to intrude.

what if shoko and reader were discussing about first dates and she finds out reader never had her first anything and sets her up with one? maybe rin or shin?! LOL and behold satoru and suguru being menaces and completely mean to her . the trouble they would cause to the way they would be so upset. reader actually enjoyed her first date but shes confused why stsg are so upset over her. they always teased her for not having a bf and when she does try theyre even more ruthless?? bc in reality to stsg they always thought she belonged to them and they’re actually in shock that shoko would do that knowing about their crushes on reader? (cue shoko laughing in the background)

i love these asks smmm😭 tysm for sending. and ur right!! i have chapter one and two written and posted on my ao3, but suguru doesn’t defect, i cant allow that. and yes… stsg are sooo annoying when it comes to jealousy. like they are so suffocating..

this is new, very new.

it was a brief conversation, so mundane you wouldn’t bother to remember it unless brought up. shoko asked a simple question. “you ever been on a date before?” after talking about her horrible experiences with lousy men. it was an easy answer, “no.”

and you thought it’d end there. of course it’s normal for girls your age to go on dates with other people, experience the life of romance at a young age, but it wasn’t odd to meet a girl your age who hadn’t been on a date. so you weren’t sure why shoko put you up to this.

rin sits across you with a beaming smile, the fluorescents of the cafe highlighting his freckles. you fiddle with the warm cup of coffee in front of you. you weren’t much of a coffee person, but you panicked and ordered the first thing on the menu. it was bitter, terribly so, you weren’t sure whether you’d prefer this or satoru’s cups of diabetes.

you sip on it occasionally, to make yourself look engaged. you hope your poker face has improved, you’d be humiliated if the bitterness on your tongue manifested itself onto your expression (rin noticed, but felt too awkward to speak up).

it’s weird, and you try pretending this wasn’t set up at a romantic date.

you like rin, he’s really nice, but you’d never even imagined him romantically.

he’s beaming at you, you think he’s blushing, and he looks as if he’s in a daze with his cheek resting on his palm. the look of adoration is so shell shocking you’re gazing around the cafe at other customers he might be looking at.

you chalk it up to excitement of being in such a nice place.

conversation with him is easy though, you realize.

it’s unlike satoru or suguru. suguru’s a listener, unlike satoru who’s a talker. they fit in so well with one another it makes it hard to fit in. you don’t mind that, watching from afar is enough for you. but you still yearn.

maybe that’s why shoko did this in the first place. to get your mind off of them. you suppose it wouldn’t be bad to broaden your spectrum, you needed more friends anyway. you couldn’t always hang onto shoko, suguru, and satoru forever.

hours pass, and before either of you know it, the sun sets.

rin was full of stories, he had so much to tell about kyoto, his classmates, and his missions. he was so fond of it all that you couldn’t bear to stop him. it was nice listening to someone on the same level as you. not that you disliked listening to satoru boast about his missions and how awesomely strong he was, but it was a nice change of pace to hear such things come from someone of your caliber.

you could get used to this.

your entering the school with a content face. you feel them both before you see them.

satoru drapes himself onto you, talking obnoxiously loud in your ear as suguru sends you a soft smile. your company with rin was wonderful, but you didn’t realize how much you missed your favorite people until you see their visages.

“where were you at for so long?” suguru asks calmly, though there’s a hint of something else you can’t really decipher. maybe suspicion.

“shoko set me up on a date with rin.” you say sheepishly, scratching your cheek.

they both freeze, you can feel the way satoru’s breath stutters as his hold gets loose. you look up at them both, brows raised.

…

it’s so silent. was it something you said? were they perhaps upset you didn’t say anything? did they want to tag along? you would’ve said yes immediately.

“rin from kyoto?” satoru whispers, and you think he sounds angry. you can’t fathom why, so you try and brush if off. even though there’s a seed of dread starting to grow in the pit of your stomach.

“yes... shoko said something about chemistry. whatever that means!” you chuckle nervously.

satoru let’s you go, backing away. now you’re worried.

“i-is something wrong?” you look up at suguru for assistance but he’s turned his head.

you shuffle your feet, anxious. they’re obviously upset, but you don’t know why. “did i do something?” that’s the only thing you could think of. or did they not like rin? he was a nice guy, so you wouldn’t understand why.

satoru rubs your head, startling you.

“it’s nothing, sweets,” he says.

but he’s walking off before you can speak any further, he makes a point not to let you see his face as he departs. suguru gives you a strained smile before he’s following. “night,” he mutters.

and even though satoru reassured you, that seed of dread continued to grow.

satoru and suguru are busy. satoru hasn’t asked for your notes in awhile. you wanna assume that he’s got it down until you hear him loudly bugging suguru for his notebook. your heart drops at the fact that satoru just hasn’t asked you. you don’t know why that hurts, it shouldn’t. maybe suguru just conveys the answer better, there’s nothing wrong with that.

they go out for lunch, leaving you and shoko in the empty cafeteria with your cold noodles. shoko’s great company, of course, but the lack of satoru’s loud voice and suguru’s scolding makes it feel eerily quiet.

nights in the common room have shrunk to just you and shoko. it’s been like this for a few days. only a few days. yet you feel as if these days are dragging on slower than usual. shoko notices, and rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath how pathetic boys could be.

you think she’s spoken to them, for they look at you a little more now. but they barely talk to you unless the situation calls for it, even then, they’re awkward.

but it isn’t until shoko has been in high demand after a dangerous mission that the first years came back from that you’re alone with them. you’re nervous, feeling their eyes trained on you. you don’t dare make contact.

they begin talking to each other, and you feel joy consume you at the familiarity of it. you’re looking up now, making eye contact with the both of them. satoru opens his mouth, but you intervene.

“i’m sorry!”

their eyes are wide.

“i’m sorry for whatever i did. it’s just.. you guys feel distant. if it’s because of me then—”

“i should say sorry,” your eyes flit up to suguru’s as he scratches his neck sheepishly. “i was being childish.” he speaks into his palm. “we were being childish.” he corrects himself, eyes glaring into satoru’s, who huffs and crosses his arms.

“so it was something i did?” your brows knit as a frown etched itself onto your lips.

“it’s more complicated than that,” suguru says. but you’re not convinced.

satoru mutters something under his breath, you catch nothing but rin’s name. so you ask him to repeat himself.

“i just don’t like rin, is all.”

you blink.

“d-did he do something?” you needed to know, if he hurt or insulted suguru or satoru in any way you were ready to break it off—

“no. not exactly, we just… don’t like you being alone with him,” suguru admits, flushed.

oh!

you felt relief fill your chest.

“i think i know now.” you smile, happily. they stare. they both lean slightly forward, anticipating. “if i ever go out with him again i’ll invite you both out!” you clap your hands together.

they were upset that they weren’t invited along. that makes sense. you’re relieved. satoru did eye that cafe whenever you three passed it.

they share a look, one of amusement and one of exasperation.

“such a ditz,” satoru grumbles.

“we’d like that,” suguru smiles.

you’re happy, so happy you could cry tears of relief.

“i’m glad, i thought you were both gonna hate me forever.”

suguru grabs your hand, caressing your palm, your heartbeat spikes. “that’d never happen.”

satoru scoots closer to you and drapes himself over your shoulders, the familiar action has your cheeks hurting from how big you’re smiling. he squishes his cheek against yours, rubbing softly as he speaks, “never go out alone with rin again, okay? you need at least me or suguru there, not even shoko’s enough!”

they will never forget how she betrayed them so.

“of course,” you exhale, joyful.

and yes, abt stsg ur also right! this is kinda a poly thing. stsg love each other and the reader

[kyxworld]

Hi again I'm the anon from this morning, you told me if you want a cake you imagine it because you have it and if you want go buy or tomorrow the day after tomorrow you'll have it, I'm lost now should we wait or not? Because others say, for example, I want a cake, I've got it, but I don't have to go out and buy it??

hello, IM JUST GIVING AN EXAMPLE🧍🏻‍♀️ y’all took it so literally. i should never give examples ☠️

okay this is the last time about this example, i should see anywhere.

are you here for it as a method? bc it is not. i remember adding (seemingly) behind it all. so it’s not like that. it is instant very much is. the example was quite misleading, since you guys took it literally.

you want cake? you have it, you ate it. you experienced it.

this is a method? honestly? i never really knew why other bloggers here got upset that ppl are asking how to questions, manifestation questions etc. now that i get the same “how to get” it makes sense. y’all are so heavy on the changing everything, wanting and getting.

you make it sound like LOA 2.0

the only thing you’ll have to know is that you’re the awareness that precedes it all. it’s always “ ” experiencing itself.

me rn^ ☠️☠️

[stateswscarlet]

i want to manifest my desired face whenever i dont see a movement i go crazy and the cycle starts again, i just wanna get my df but im tired of this cycle i always go back and nothing happens, i feel like all that thing is waste of time but at the same time ik its true cuz i've manifested a lot of things. but whenever it comes to my df i cant stop wanting it and after fulfilling myself i feel like it's done, but after 10 mins it happens again. i start to get mad at 3d again and its just so .. i cried becaus i want my df and 3d makes me crazy. i feel like nothing happens im so desperate i dont wanna read 823823 loa posts anymore i just want to be pretty as like others. i hate that feeling of 'trying so hard' hope u answer

<3

this genuinely makes my heart hurt :(

this is what i told another anon:

“unrelated, idk what youre desiring to change about your face but make sure you’re approaching it from love and not hating/disliking your current self. it makes me so sad whenever people tell me theyre manifesting a whole new face thinking itll make them happy, prettier, attention from people, etc and it wont at all. changes starts within and you are more than worthy of being just the way you are and treating yourself with love and compassion.”

please understand that “getting” a physical change will never ever ever ever take away your insecurities or make you happier, fulfilled, nor will it make you feel pretty from the inside. literally look at all the supermodels and stars who are drop dead gorgeous who we pine after who are incredibly insecure and are constantly hyperaware of their insecurities and flaws.

PLEASE i beg you the best thing you can do for yourself is practice self love RIGHT NOW the way you are. stop waiting for some ideal face before you chose to love yourself, as that day will never come. you will find more and more reasons to feel insecure and upset at the 3D and be running in an endless cycle “manifesting” things to change but you’ll never be satisfied.

you need to remove your dependence from the 3D/outer world by understanding it can never give you anything. go within and instead of focusing so much on your face changing focus instead on the feelings of being secure, safe, etc regardless. stop chasing shallow things like pretty privilege and attention and anything else you THINK your df will give you (spoiler: it wont give you any of that).

coming from someone who isn’t conventionally attractive and used to hate herself and her looks, it is SO important to love yourself and accept yourself the way you are first before expecting others to do that. i learned to love myself exactly the way i am. my inner shift changed my attitude and how i viewed myself which led to others reflecting that. i started getting attention, pretty privilege, etc (which now i know are just shallow things) without a single physical change.

i really hope you understand where im coming from anon. its not that you cant have your df, but if youre unable to love yourself right now you wont be able to love yourself with your df bc youll find a million other reasons not to. once you remove this from the pedestal you have it on (thinking itll make you pretty, etc) it will be much easier to focus on the feelings of security and anything else you desire.

[httpiastri]

I saw the college!pepe ask and SCREAMED because I'm entering college right now and I'm so SO nervous I'm clinging onto the comfort of college!pepe for dear life 😭 I also randomly tweeted mechanical engineering major Pepe and it sort of blew up 😭 then when the pepe marti interview article appeared he literally answered that if he wouldn't be a driver he'd be an engineer like DID I PREDICT PEPE IN STEM??????

now I can't stop thinking about engineering major Pepe who has a social science/humanities partner and even though the buildings are on the opposite ends of the campus he'd literally run for 20 minutes and 2 kilometers just to reach you every lunch or vacant time (my campus is freakishly large idk why) or like studying together and he'd be so overwhelmed with an equation that to take a rest he'd lay his head on your lap and listen to you ramble about your latest essay or social theory

and like the fact that in my college rn there's this ongoing joke that my department and engineering department are natural enemies (idk why 😭) but like pepe would singlehandedly defeat all those stereotypes because HE'S A SWEETHEART he would never do anything that could be called a red flag and he doesn't care that his major is the exact opposite to mine he would still give 101% of his attention

I just love college!pepe so dearly

(also maybe because of the fact that he won't be able to experience college in this universe 😭)

- ☄️

you definitely are not the only one to love college!pepe 🥺

entering college! omg sounds so exciting!!! but ofc understandable that you're nervous too, it's a big step! it's going to be so much fun tho and you're gonna enjoy it so much, and maybe if you manifest it enough then mechanical engineering!pepe will actually be there 🥰

im so bad at twt but i went on and saw your tweets abt it now and just !! yes yes yes !!!!! ESP the one idk what its called in english but the retweet thing u started with "not defeating the..." and i just 😭 aaaaaaa imagine him sitting like that and laughing around with classmates like ?? are you even real or are you a robot or something bcs how can you be this perfect and ?????

going that far away just for his partner is a very pepe thing to do :( you insist on meeting him halfway for lunch etc and he's just "no❤️" and is standing outside your classroom door right when your lecture ends. and ofcccc having study dates with him in a library where he's struggling with something and just crashes onto your lap all whiny and tired.... yk pepe is so smart and knows everything he's studying but on the few occasions when he doesn't understand, he just wants you to be there to distract him yk?? (and sometimes... maybe... he's just faking not knowing..... he just wants your attention 🥺)

omfg that joke from your college... that's so iconic and so so funny, esp thinking abt it from a pepe standpoint like 😭 buddy would definitely enjoy the friendly jokey banter and be all "booo you're from the humanities department?? booooo", but with you he's a whole different person <33 very "you're the exception"<3<3 (but yes ofc he's the #1 sweetheart, he would never cross any lines slkdjfhdk i definitely think he would enjoy just silly verbal fighting but nothing more)

pls not your last sentence... darling you broke me..................... that's actually so upsetting 😭 poor poor boy 😭 i think he would actually really enjoy the college life and fit well into it :((

[hell-drabbles]

i was reading the ra-on cuck ask again and i saw u say he ends up in the cucks seat eventually in these fantasies. im like a billion percent sure that he ends up thinking about the companion and one of his lovers bc hes sooo insecure. like he Knows theyre not itnerested in the devils amd that they would never do that to him but he ends up getting mad or upset at the companion.

anyways yeah just a thought i had. im like so obsessed w ur companion au its so good <33

Yeah Ra-on's insecurity manifests in that flip-flop of being in the cuck's chair, or being the one that's taken away from his lover. Wants to be taken and desired, but is also so prone to drifting towards those other fantasies of being called pathetic, weak-willed.

Point being, Ra-on does not engage with this cuck kink healthily and that's so fun for me.

The companion is in a realm of their own, in Ra-on mind. Minhyeok stands above him, but he's a hell of a lot closer, more tangible and easier to be around than the companion. Because of that, the Companion is this big and strong figure that can go and just, take whatever they want, as though it belongs to them. So of course he'd have these kinds of fantasies.

Not gonna lie, I was actually initially really hesitant on making any mentions of cuckoldry because it gives people such visceral reactions, like I just served them radioactive waste or something. It's the type of kink that requires an intense amount of trust in all the parties involved, but it's often reduced down to just "ugh, the degenerative cheater kink, of course." Just, hard focuses on the cheater part, when it's, you know, ultimately a fantasy that needs nice and clear communication. It's weird to me.

Also random, but I need to think how Ra-on acts post character development. I know that when he changes and becomes a way better version of himself, he'll end up sighing in disappointment at his previous self. Angry, almost, a self he wants to leave behind just as much as he wants to leave behind the lingering traces of Solomon.

You know, the kind of confidence that makes Ra-on go from a skinny, meek and virginal twink to someone that serves cunt and holds no shame and way better control over himself and his desires. Cunty twink perhaps? You know, the kind of tease that makes his voice a little sing-songy just to entice people. That'll be so funny because that is definitely a version pre-development Ra-on would not be able to see.

I want post-character development Ra-on to be the kind of person that makes one go "You little shit," while smiling. You get me?

[osarina]

As a dazi kinnie myself I personally hc dazai that when he was younger, he loved being alone and away from any problems or drama. He loved being alone and doing things he liked without anyone's disturbance or their misunderstandings of him with his mind aiding him. When he grew up into a bad environment and also when Mori found him, recruited him to mafia and stuff, he didn't have much time to be alone and even when he was it no longer felt comforting. Fast forward to Ada dazai, now he spends time with others just so he can escape the loneliness in his life but still retreats after some time as he questions if he is eligible to be 'human' with others. Now he doesn't like that much being alone. The silence only reminds him of people he cared about leaving him to be well, alone. The once helpful mind of his became too noisy to even bare it, still running out of constant use from when he worked in mafia. His brain both worn down and well-oiled trapping him in an endless loop.

And then you come with waterfall like laughters and amazing music taste, actually for once distracting from his cage like mind and make him crave once again, not for being alone but for being with you :> for all thse years he tried finding a perfect drug to silence his mind either temporarily or eternally but he then found you, and decided eternally by being with you ^^

The first part is my hc and for the second one, I included your self ship. This is also based of my personal experience and my prespective of him so don't judge too hard 😅

P.s wishing you an awesome day!

omg ... one day im gonna make a longpost talking about my headcanons for dazai's past, but ill talk about it a bit now. so i hc that like in canonverse, dazai was one of the youngest of a bunch of a siblings (inspired by NLH) and that his ability manifested at a young age & there were other ability users in his family, and they didn't like the way his ability deprived them of theirs, so he was pretty isolated from the rest of his siblings and his parents. and he was so lonely, but he forced himself to find solace in being alone bc he didn't want to be upset over it. eventually he grew somewhat dependent on it and found himself almost uncomfortable when surrounded by too many people. i also hc that he only took the shipping container because it was far away from people & most people wouldn't dare go looking for him there. eventually he became used to being around people again (chuuya, oda, ango, hirotsu, and in our au, pmreader) but then again, it was ripped away when he defected and he had to readjust to being alone again and then AGAIN he was surrounded by people with the agency and this time by people who were unfailingly GOOD and so different than him, and he just can't help but think too much about it, doubting himself, doubting his ability to fulfill oda's request, doubting everything and no matter how hard he tries, he can't silence it. AND YESSSSSSS you come alone and you're just such a haven for him and he's so scared to start relying on you because he's become reliant once and it was ripped away from him, but he just can't help himself :'))) i adore him sm ill die

[ravenbloodshot]

Jack Grealish (Soccer Player).... Personality Reading

He gives off very introverted-extroverted vibes. When he's alone, he remains alone. But when he's around others, he interacts and engages wholeheartedly. I low-key feel like he's someone who doesn't make friends easily or at least doesn't consider ppl his friend easily. He's definitely more of a loner than others realize, probably bc of what I said above. He's not the type to be standoffish when ppl are around him, he talks and jokes around, but truly befriending others. Not likely.

This guy is very independent and in his own world/space. He's someone that can look quite intimidating if you see him chilling on his own (I saw a scene of him sitting on a bus with his headphones in and others, I assume soccer teammates, walking by him kind of afraid to sit by him). He could have resting bitch face when he doesn't smile or the type to look upset even when he's not.

There is something cool about him. I get a "ik who I am" aura from him. Although as cool as he is, this type of aura doesn't come from living an easy life. He most definitely has had a rougher childhood than most

When I first said his name while pulling cards, I "accidentally," said Drake. It reminded me of Drake Bell, the Nickelodeon child star that was assaulted and abused. Idk if Jack was a childstar himself or just had a really bad childhood, but I sadly see a similar situation.

Jack may be quite manipulative and play victim at times to get his way. Although, he may actually go through a lot and have shitty shit happen to him. He may use that to make excuses for himself, like "ik I drink too much and it's affecting how I practice and ultimately my teammates as well, but Im really dealing with a lot."

Wow...this guy has a VERY strong intuition, could be a strong manifester as well. He's the type of person to unintentionally predict or speak things into existence. You guys know how when you're calling off of work and you give an untrue excuse, he's the type to call in saying like "oh, my dad's in the hospital so I can't come in" and later that actually comes true. He can go quite far with this gift, but he can also cause a lot of destruction. I think he will use it carefully, if he was aware of it. It's possible he spoke his successful career into existence.

I looked it up to see if he has a girlfriend/wife bc I was picking up on some interesting vibes. Turns out he does, but unfortunately, he's not very faithful, and is likely very good at hiding his secret escapades. Even if his girl finds out, she's not the type to expose him, and neither are his secret lovers, so his public image will never take a hit (not for this at least). He does all of this sleeping around to fill some type of void. Definitely, a guy who needs therapy.

Princess Diana by Ice Spice is a song that fits this reading's energy

[onlyjaeyun]

I think my head is going to explode.

He asked if she was ok.

Lowkey that is huge.

(AND SHE FREAKING KNOWS ITS HUGE. SHE TOTALLY KNOWS.)

And it’s bothering him that she’s not ok. He hasn’t lost interest he’s freaking worried. That’s why he hasn’t been back. But she doesn’t know that. Omg.

What is he going to dooooooo? (Because this Hoon is delicious. He is a man of ACTION always. Nothing simmers in him too long before it comes out one way or another. That’s why he touched her in the first place. That’s why he beat up Jaemin. That’s why he said something to Fuma. His feelings really do drive him and honestly I love it.) Is he just gonna show up? Kidnap her and force her to go get her nails done? My money is on randomly showing up…Like Riki’s at his house for some whatever thing so Hoon just goes down and starts banging on her door and she answers wearing his shirt (because the forgetting him is NOT going well)…

I don’t want to pin all my hopes and dreams on this but like… I’m really rooting for him to do something healing here. I mean maybe he’s not there yet but MAYBE HE IS or maybe he is so high key desperate for her body (at least that’s the excuse he’ll tell himself) that he’s willing to take care of her a little to get what he’s craving.

GAH! I don’t know. I have no idea where you’re going next but MAN am I desperate to get there. Like there is no denying he’s bothered by her pain. It’s there. He’s angry about it—but it’s full there on his angsty little tumblr. Her pain truly upsets him—but forreal that is nothing new (just ask Jaemin).

I know you’re cooking up some way to bring them back together. (And I’m obviously dying to know what it is) I figured (because I feel like you’ve hinted at it?)—though I could be totally wrong—but I figured that they would start to fall for each other again even before they realized that their initial fallout was due to a misunderstanding and maybe I’m delulu but I’m wondering if this particular moment is going to be the start of that like…manifesting? Because I mean I know the hate is there, but there’s also something else—something deeper and it’s so clear and I just love how hard both of them are trying to pretend that something doesn’t exist.

But you can only fight being someone’s soulmate or whatever for so long ya know…

see what i mean? how is this not the most beautiful commentsry on a piece of work youve ever seen?? I LOVE WRITERS SO SO SO MUCH 🥺 thank you for this baby, i really hope you know how much i appreciate your asks, they really make my day :(

i love how you commented I KNEW IT on the last chap bc i knew you'd say smth and i got so gigglybfkenfoemfl ngl i wasn't gonna make him beat them up just warn and scare them a little but this ask and your thoughts inspired me to do more bc it fits his character so well so thank you so much angel 🥺💗

i don't wanna spoil too much but your thoughts and assumptions about his feelings for her changing is definitely quite close to what i have in mind and i love how similar our brains work 🤭🤭 can't wait for your resction when you read the next chapter bc our baby's been a little unsure about herself and well, hoon's the one who might give her a hand or two to desl with those bad thoughts..all im gonna mentionnis a mirror!🤕

[c0rpseductor]

i think one of the really frustrating parts about my ocd is like

i have the lying by omission or being accidentally misleading fear a LOT (esp as it relates to disclosing my abuse history) and also the same compulsion to seek reassurance as like anybody with ocd, but i also have this terrible thing where i recognize that my thoughts are unhelpful and illogical but get convinced that if i talked about them people would be mad at me.

like if i mentioned as an example "donation posts are bad for my ocd bc i feel morally obligated to reblog them and experience serious anxiety and discomfort until i do, and if they have any guilt-inducing language it compounds the effect" then my fear ends up that people would respond like "well it IS your obligation and you are being a bad person by making it all about you and comforting you in your privilege." basically like worrying that actually my ocd IS reasonable and those standards ARE objective and people WILL be mad if i try to work on it.

and ofc that also makes it really hard when i DO say or do something wrong related to my ocd, bc then i will have weird anxiety about it for ages but not be able to tell anybody or ask for help managing it down to reasonable levels of guilt bc then i'll feel like that's "making it about myself" and that actually the guilt is the only thing tethering me to acceptable behavior and so on. and usually the thing i've done wrong is small, so it's like, i feel ridiculous for being upset about being Evil Forever And Needing To Always Atone And Watch My Behavior over basically nothing. and then that ALSO makes me feel like i'm making it about myself and need to be watched and disciplined EVEN MORE. so even the smallest thing i do wrong can send me into like ages of self-policing and "you are so [insert bigotry here] and if you don't [list of compulsions] you will be irredeemably awful. [list of compulsions] is the only way to make up for what you've done. reaching out for help just means you don't want to accept the necessary discomfort that comes from being good and care more about your personal comfort than what is morally correct."

And this is just how i live my life every day and i have to try to just deal with that without having insane incredibly visible meltdowns which is always literally all my brain wants me to do bc part of me will hope people see that and Absolve me of my usually imagined wrongdoing. but this emotional reaction also counts as Bad (see above).

idk why im really going into all this beyond that i wish more people understood what moral ocd is like and how it manifests and that people who have it are not just like, chronically online or whatever. ive had my ocd symptoms made fun of as me being like, too much of a tumblrina goodie two shoes who needs to lighten up before, and it's really frustrating. like believe it or not i KNOW most of this makes no goddamn sense, but i have a mental illness that causes anxious obsessive spirals and compulsive behavior to mitigate that crushing anxiety, so outside of ERP or medication i cannot in fact Just Chill. like it's not a personality flaw of too much prudishness OR being too self-concerned and fragile to do The Work of unlearning bias (attitude i have also seen about ocd symptoms). it's a fucking disability

[cupidlovesastro]

hello!! can i get your opinion on a Libra 11H stellium in composite (sun, mercury, & venus)?

if not that, then what venus opposite mars means in synastry? i’ve only heard bad things about it bc it’s an opposition :(

i’m assuming you have a stellium in both libra and 11th house, so that’s how i’m going to answer this!

libra stellium can mean you find each other verrry very attractive. there’s a lot of romantic potential here and you guys can balance each other out pretty well. you also could be a very aesthetic couple, that looks good together!

libra sun in composite, you both express yourself through aesthetics, beauty, and/or justice. you balance yourselves out and you guys make each other levelheaded. you both find peace and harmony as a couple. you don’t like it when you clash or when there’s an odd power dynamic between you two

libra mercury can mean you take turns speaking fairly, and also speaking your mind in a way that isn’t hostile. you practice being heard and listening. you avoid arguments or misunderstandings as much as possible

libra venus can mean your both super attracted to each other and could be the “it” couple lol. people think y’all look great together, but people can also think that’s all you are as a couple, is just pretty faces. others could perceive your relationship as shallow even if it’s not. this can also mean there’s an equal give and take in the relationship. you guys try to make each other feel as equals to one another and not like anyone is better or less than the other

11th house stellium can mean you have a very friendly relationship. you guys laugh, joke, talk, and maybe even present as best friends. you feel super comfortable with this person. you could’ve met in a group of people, specifically a friend group. you could also rebel against social norms. you could purposely dress or act a certain way as a couple that makes others uncomfortable or upset (doesn’t have to be intentional). you guys also have a lot of hope in this relationship, you both genuinely wish the best for this relationship and might manifest good things for it

venus opposite mars can mean you avoid conflict. specifically the venus person avoids conflict with the mars person. you both can be very attracted to each other, just in different ways. the venus us romantically attracted, while the mars person is sexually attracted.

i hope this helps!🩷

i’m sorry i couldn’t add more to the venus opposite mars aspect! it’s late for me as im typing this😭