#bc it could also have a gross meaning by adam

[la-ro-ki]

have some fairly surface level redesigns of the girlfriends !!

uhhh charlie's cowlicks are meant to look reminiscent of devil horns and vaggie's hair was based off of a christian nun's habit/veil. big fan of the idea that the hotel's color scheme should be made up of pastels so there's that. ooh also symbol of the hotel being a butterfly for like a bunch of different reasons :3

[littlespacereader]

Hello again!!

❗Tw: mention of diapers & accidents❗

I also have to wear diapers for medical reasons (stool incontinent bc of a birth defect) and I too view Nappies as a comfort item in my regression!

I think it's really cool of you to help others bring comfort to wearing diapers and "embarrassing" situations like accidents.

As someone who has to deal with accidents at least twice a week, that really means a lot!

So, I would love a story where a little one has an accident, in a public place/ event and their cg makes an "escape plan", like in an action movie, that helps the little one to feel less ashamed. Saying things like: "Okay, we have to secure the diaper bag, before entering the restroom, is sergeant Teddie equipped for the heist?" They make a game out of it, showing the little one that even in uncomfortable or embarrassing situations, one can have fun.

I'd also really like a scene of comfort, where the little one feels bad for "being yucky" and their cg assuring them that they are not. (It's something I struggle with a lot bc of my condition)

It's up to you to decide what kind of accident you decide the little one to have, whatever you're comfortable with! (I know many ppl find "No. 2 accidents" really triggering, so I completely understand if you don't want to write about that)

Feel free to use any of the pairings I listed in this ask of mine!

Ps. I forgot to mention that I'm uncomfortable with the terms M*mmy and D*ddy in the other ask, so I'm putting it here!

Thanks for reading, have a great day/ night!

For starters let me say how near and dear this request is to my heart. I can relate whole heartily to this. As someone who also uses diapers both as a medical necessity and as a comfort item to my regression this request hits home. So this ask really warms my heart. Thank you for being so open with this request @dino-boyo-agere 💞

It’s extremely embarrassing difficult having an accident in public. Age Regression isn’t a widely known thing and the fear of someone taking it for something like a kink is common. Plenty of insecurity and disgust runs through us when accident happen. Why I’m so adamant about writing these scenarios is to shed a light to those who don’t know and more importantly to show Littles alike that it’s okay. You’re regression is your own. Wearing diapers or not doesn’t make you more or less of a Regressor. Wearing and using diapers is okay! You’re perfectly valid and I’m here for you as a fellow Little who wear diapers herself. Accident happen but it doesn’t make you gross. You’re a beautiful Regressor, padded or not💞💞💞

With that little affirmation of love to my fellow padded Regressors please enjoy this fic💞

Thank you for this brilliant idea and for all the different pairings. I decided to go with Caregiver! Dean Winchester & Little! Sam Winchester! But I love the idea of a Caregiver being an older brother to their little brother Little so this immediately struck my heart!

I will be doing this fic as a number 2 accident which will be implied and not detailed in anyway in this story. I understand that it makes some uncomfortable so I understand if this fic is not for you. While it will be sfw in my eyes I can understand why it wouldn’t for others so hence there is no sfw tag added. With that I hope enjoy this fic!!💞

The Undercover Mission at the Fair

Caregiver! Dean Winchester & Little! Sam Winchester

Tags: diapers, accident, pacifier, stuffed animal moose

Nicknames: Sammy, buddy, kiddo, little one,

Sam and Dean arrived to a small town in Idaho hearing stories of a ghost killing those who walked home at night. Seemed simple enough for the brothers. But upon arriving, it was getting hard for Sam to keep a clear head and not regress.

Since arriving there were posters everywhere for the county fair. They had never been to a fair before! And this one was going to have rides, carnival games and as much junk food as a Little could want! The pictures looked so exciting!

The posters were in the police station, the hotel, the diner, EVERYWHERE! Sam, despite his best efforts was finding it difficult not to regress immediately. How could he resist?! It looked like so much fun!! And hey, maybe he took a poster on the way out of the police station to show Dean later…just maybe…

Regression was something Sam kept hidden from everyone for years. I mean how could he possibly tell someone like his father that he needed to regress every now and then.

No, never. He kept it to himself… College had been a God sent to Sam. There he was able to regress whenever he felt like it. He had stuffies, toys, diapers and even a pacifier all for himself. It was heaven on earth.

That was until Dean showed up on his dorms door step saying Dad was missing. Going back to his old hunter lifestyle and not regressing was a horrible combo. Shared motel rooms with Dean meant no privacy, which lead to disaster.

A nightmare in the middle of the night caused Sam to not only regress but wet the bed as well. But Dean was right there by his side to help him through it all. He didn’t question anything at all, not the diapers in his bag, not the stuffed moose he clung to and certainly not the pacifier he immediately gave Sam.

No, Dean stepped up like he had Sam’s whole life. He comforted him and helped him back to sleep eventually. After that day Dean became Sam’s Caregiver, making sure his little brother was always safe and comfortable when he regressed.

Fast forward to the present, in privacy of their hotel room Sam started to regress. The case dragged on today. Between talking to the police, to research at the local library, to interviewing victims families, Sam needed a break.

He grabbed his moose stuffie, got changed into a diaper and sat on the bed with his pacifier while watching tv. Suddenly an ad for the fair popped on and reminded him!

“Dean!” Sam said, pacifier dropping from his mouth as he rushed over to his suit jacket to grab the poster from his pocket.

“Yeah Sammy?” Dean was just walking out of the bathroom when Sam thrusted the poster into Dean’s hands.

“They’re having a fair here this weekend! See!” He pointed to the poster.

“Yeah I saw these posters around the town. What about it?”

Sam paused, “We have to go! When will we ever get this opportunity again?”

Dean smiled. As much as brother tried to keep his regression in the downlow this whole case, his careful Caregiver eyes spotted it right away. So it was no shocker to Dean when Sam brought him this carnival poster and asked if they could go.

“Sammy we’re in the middle of a case.” Dean tried to reason.

But Sam crossed his arms, “You’re the one who always says it can’t always be about hunts and that we need to take time for ourselves. Well this is time for ourselves!”

As much as Dean hated to admit it, Sam was right. He hasn’t regressed in a while which wasn’t health for him and Dean hasn’t had a break away from a hunt in a while. Maybe this fair was meant to be for them.

“You make a good point buddy,” Dean sat down on the motel bed and patted the spot next to him for Sam.

Despite being taller than his brother, Sam sat down and leaned forward to rest his head on his brother’s shoulder.

“So…can we go?” Sam asked again, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

Dean laughed, “Alright we can go.”

Before Dean could continue what he was saying Sam immediately jumped from the bed and was practically jumping around the room.

“Yes!!! Fair!!! Thank you thank you thank you Dean!! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

Dean smiled seeing Sammy’s excitement. He was going to add that they would go after the case was finished but he didn’t have the heart. Plus this case seemed to wrapping up soon anyway, why ruin the fun?

County fairs weren’t really something Dean and Sam got to experience when they were kids. Sure, there were plenty of times they arrived at a town with the fair happening. But John was so focused on whatever hunt he was on that by the time he had dealt with it, the fair had packed up leaving two disappointing Winchesters.

It’s no wonder Sam regresses with their interesting childhood… But Dean never minded Sam’s regression. Infact he encouraged Sam to regress when he was particularly stressed. Sam’s regression did as much healing for Dean as it did for Sam.

So, after a couple of days of dealing with this nighttime ghost, they arrived at the county fair. It was everything Sam had always dreamed it could be! They had tons of snacks! Crazy rides! And amazing prizes to be won! He didn’t know where to go first?!

Dean could see the wonder in Sam’s eyes. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Where first Sammy? You lead the way.”

Where first indeed.

Dean followed Sam’s lead, walking behind the tall little with his backpack on. Inside was everything he would need as a Caregiver. Sam’s stuffed moose, extra change of clothes, diapers and supplies and his pacifier. He prided himself on being prepared for anything both as a hunter and as a Caregiver.

Sam insisted they start off with rides! The first one spun around so fast that they couldn’t even stand up. Sam was giggling the whole time but looking over at Dean showed he was not having a great time.

After that the two made their way to the “haunted house.” It was honestly laughable going through the haunted house with what the both of them face on the daily. But it didn’t stop Sam was grabbing Dean’s hand as they made their way through the house.

Despite towering over his big brother, he always felt safer when Dean was holding his hand and leading the way.

They hopped ride after ride after ride, and in between eating some junky snacks and candy the fair had to offer. Finally after a little while Dean made the executive decision to grab something sustainable to eat and sit down for a moment.

They found a nice table to themselves and set their belongings down. Sam needed a bit of a break after the constant running around they did his morning. So a nice shaded table was perfect. Plus he wasn’t used to eating so much junk, so getting something a little bit healthier would be better for the two of them.

“Alright Sammy, I’ll grab us something to eat. You stay here and relax a bit. Okay? Don’t leave this table.”

Sam just nodded, focused on a clown that had walked past a couple of minutes ago. His stomach twinged a bit in pain. “D-Dean…”

Dean stopped a step away from the table. He turned around, “Yeah?”

“I think I’ll come with you instead.” He grabbed Dean’s backpack and jumped up to join him. The sudden movement caused his stomach to hurt again.

Dean looked in the direction Sam was just looking in. Something definitely spooked him since he went from his usual regressed happiness to anxious. Maybe it was that clown that’s been walking around? He took in the sight of his brother, one hand holding his stomach, the other gripping his backpack.

“Sammy, are you feeling okay?” Dean wasn’t sure if it was scared and holding himself or in pain.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine.” Sam handed Dean his backpack back and followed his lead through the rows of food stands.

But his stomach hadn’t forgotten about him just yet. Another stabbing pain had him stopping in his tracks, holding his stomach and wincing. Maybe he could ask Dean for some medicine or to take him to the bathroom.

But when he looked up Dean was gone. Sam’s face went white as the ghost they just killed.

“Dean?” He looked around, “DEAN?!” He yelled. He was right next to him one second ago?! And now his tummy hurt and all he wanted was his brother, his caregiver, to make it all better.

Worst of all they were in public. He couldn’t have an accident with all these people around them?! There were crowds of people, or what felt like crowds, walking around him. He felt as though everyone’s eyes were on him, as if they all knew.

It was all so overwhelming. Tears started to sting the corner of his eyes as he wrapped both arms around his sore stomach.

“Sammy!”

Immediately Sam lifted his head and looked in the direction of Dean’s voice. There, only a couple feet away was Dean. Immediately Sam walked over and wrapped Dean into a hug, starting to crying into his shoulder.

Dean had only walked a few feet when he realized Sam was no longer behind him. He looked around for the tall Little but was blocked by a group of people. Once he made it away from them he could see Sam. He looked on the verge of a breakdown with his arms holding his stomach tightly and his head swiveling around to find Dean.

“It’s alright Sammy I’m here, I’m here buddy,” he rubbed Sam’s back soothingly.

When Sam all but launched himself into Dean’s arms, the Caregiver had a pretty good idea of what happened while the two were away. He sighed. He should’ve kept a closer eye on him, especially when he knew something was wrong. Especially when they haven’t been eating the healthiest today.

But now was not the time to regret anything. Right now he had to get him somewhere discreet enough to get changed. But he knew Sam would rather curl up into a ball than to start walking towards the bathrooms.

He needed to get Sam changed and he didn’t want him to be more embarrassed than he already was….a challenge indeed. But this is Dean we’re talking about, he always knows how to take good care of his little brother. That’s when an idea popped into his head.

Once Sam seemed to settle from crying Dean pulled away and wiped his tears away, “Its okay Sammy, it’s okay. I’m so sorry I lost you there for a second. Truth is…I was checking to see if we were being spied on.”

That started to peak Sam interest away from the accident or almost losing Dean. “Spied on?”

“That’s right Sammy. The intel I got this morning said that we might be spied on while at the fair here. Apparently they only send their top agents on a mission such as this one, which is why we were assigned to this job. Now Agent S, before we make our way to our mission’s checkpoint do we have the equipment we need?”

Sam started to get into the little game Dean was playing. A small smile started to appear on his face seeing Dean become over dramatic with their “secret mission”. He started to worry less about the accident and more about their game. “What equipment do we need?”

“Well we first need my backpack but I can’t find it anywhere! Have you seen it? Where could it have gone to?!” Dean said turning around to look for it when it was strapped to his back the entire time. Sam started giggling.

Dean turned around overly dramatic again, “Is something funny Agent S?”

“You’re wearing the backpack Agent D!”

“I’m- OH! Of course I am! There it is! Great job Agent S!” Dean praised, ruffling Sam’s hair a bit. “Now with our first item secured we only need one more thing before we make our way to the checkpoint, and that’s Agent M.”

Sam looked confused, “Agent M? Who’s Agent M?”

Dean opened the backpack and picked up Sam’s moose stuffed animal. “Agent M of course!”

Sam’s face started to blush a little. He didn’t normally walk around with Moosy in public. But he desperately wanted him right now.

Thankfully Dean had a quickly solution for that problem too, “But Agent M is really really undercover, so if anyone asks you where you got him, say you won him in a carnival game. That way we don’t blow his cover.” Dean winked.

It was the perfect excuse. There were plenty of people walking around with stuffed animals in hand from carnival games. He would fit in just fine with his moose. So with that Sam took his moose stuffie. He had to admit, having him close really started to help.

“Alright Agent S, Agent M, let’s go to the mission checkpoint,” Dean took Sam hand in his as they walked through the crowds to find a restroom.

Sam, despite being taller than Dean, stayed hidden behind him with every step they took. Anytime anyone walked even a little too close to the two of them Sam ducked his head near Dean.

Thankfully there was a restroom nearby. Dean smiled and squeezed Sam’s hand in his. “There we go Agent S! There’s our mission checkpoint. We made it! Are you and Agent M doing okay?”

But Dean could see despite their fun little game waking to the restroom, the toll of the accident was weighing heavily on Sam with every step he took.

He stopped and looked up at Dean fighting tears that threatened to spill, “It’s okay Dean. I can go in and get changed myself. I don’t want you to have to deal with this…with….a number 2.”

Sam went to grab the backpack from Dean’s shoulder but he immediately stopped him. “Wow wow wow, that is not happening. Do you think I wanted to be your Caregiver so I could do half the job and call it a day?”

Sam looked away. Tears started to roll down his eyes as he whispered, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this Dean. It’s gross, I’m gross.” At the admission, Sam started to cry a bit.

But Dean quietly swooped in. He pulled him in and held him in a tight hug for a moment. After he wiped the tears away, “Don’t you dare say that about yourself. You are not gross at all! It’s normal for little ones to have accident and you’re no different. I don’t have to deal with this, I want to Sammy. I’ve always been here for you and I’m not stopping now.”

He held his hand out for Sam to take again. “We have a mission to complete Agent. Not a solo mission, but a co-op mission. I can’t do it without you Agent S.”

Sam looked at Dean sincerely. He truly meant every word. Despite everything he never saw him differently, he still saw him as his little brother. So with a little hesitancy Sam took Dean’s hand in his own.

“After this I say we give you a little bit of medicine, rest a little whole and then take on a few carnival games. What do you think?”

Sam just nodded, still repeating what Dean had said to him in his head. After a moment he spoke again.

“I’m not gross?” Sam asked softly.

“Nope, never.” Dean replied, as they started walking into the bathroom. “The only way you would be gross is if you started saying Smart cars were cooler than Baby.”

Sam smiled. “What?! Why would I think Smart cars were cooler than the Impala?”

“I don’t know. But if you started saying that it was cooler than the Impala, well I’d have to disown you and call you gross.” Dean playfully shrugged.

Sam laughed. “I don’t think I can fit in a Smart car.”

Dean laughed as well. “I don’t think you can either.”

The two laughed as the entered the bathroom. After a quick changed followed by a bit of comfort, the accident was long and forgotten. The day went on uninterrupted after that with Dean winning Sam prizes at the fair and the two ending the night watching the fireworks display.

The fair had been everything they always dreamed it would be.

[jakowskis]

s2 time! i'm not gonna be as thorough with it as i was w s1 bc i'm not a huge fan of season 2 ff but here goes

(this post's gonna be tosh/owen + some fragments talk, then i'm gonna reblog with a day in the death stuff, and then ill make a separate post for adam bc. woo nelly. that one warrants it.)

so lets start with the tosh/owen differences. a lot of their little scenes in s2 are markedly different - mostly as far as body language. there's a surprising amount of physical affection between them.

four separate occasions (eps 3, 4, 8, and 9) where there's physical affection between them in the script that didn't make it into the episode. i find this intriguing. tosh and owen are both very... non-affectionate people. both of them could be, with someone they loved romantically, but they don't strike me as the type of people who like to cuddle with their friends. they're both naturally very aloof and non-touchy, which makes that casual physical touch very ooc. i imagine that's why it didn't end up on screen. i figure the writers here knew the show was meant to push the tosh/owen angle in s2, but it's interesting to me that it ended up being a lot more subtle and... awkward in the show itself. i've already said i'm not a towen fan, for many reasons, but one is that there's just... zero chemistry between them (in s2, anyway). every interaction is forced and uncomfortable. it's weird enough that i was thrown off by it for a long time and couldn't figure out what the show was trying to do with them, lmao. i know that their awkwardness probably appeals to some people, and is cute or smth, but i dislike it personally. mostly i'm just petty the show reduced tosh down to that relationship tbh but whatever.

i can't help but wonder if they had this casual physical affection with each other, and if it fit in and didn't feel ooc for them, if i would like them as a couple more. but honestly i have thought about what the show could've done to make tosh/owen endear me, and i don't think uncharacteristic physical affection would be it. i do like that first scene, the way their communication styles clash a bit and they don't know quite how to talk to each other. i like owen awkwardly trying to comfort her, i love when he does that, how it's like a baby deer walking for the first time fhsdjfkds. im very endeared by the way owen's empathy is either out of nowhere and all-consuming, or something he has to force and is awkward about wielding. whenever he tries to be kind it's very tentative, because it doesn't come natural to him (anymore, at least), but he does care enough to try. i'm so fond of it. also hes sooo nd ehehe. tosh too.

will say this: i do appreciate owen getting hugs. he does need it. tosh needs it too. if the team WAS physically affectionate with each other they'd be better off, i think.

two more tosh/owen things...

see, this is what i mean when i say i couldn't tell what the show was doing with them. the SHOW can't even tell. this whole scene is written very vaguely, with little insight into owen's head, like the damn writer doesn't even know why he finally agreed. this is probably my, like, fourth favorite tosh/owen scene, which isn't saying much, 'cause i still don't really like it. it's cute in like, three spots, but mostly it just feels... weird. i don't understand what burn was intending with his acting choices, because owen comes across as insincere and slightly snide. it's weird and gross, and it rubs me wrong. i don't know if he's trying to be casual and play it cool or something, but the way he laughs at her makes me wanna punch him. the way owen treats tosh is just about the only place i legitimately can't stand him.

one last bit about it. see, 'fondly'. in the actual scene, i would describe the way owen looks at her in this moment as.... amused (at her expense) and slightly condescending. like he thinks she's laughable. it fucking bothers me. which sucks because i wanna like them, i do. i think they could be compatible. but the way he treats her in canon is nauseating and i can't get behind it.

right, and then two fragments moments i wanna discuss

all i really wanna say here is again (as mentioned in my end of days talk), chibnall didn't specify owen crying or anything, but he spends his whole segment of this ep in tears. point is i wanna thank burn gorman for the way owen constantly is teary eyed and miserable, with those big pretty brown doe eyes of his. it means the world to me. thats all

actually it's not all cuz i also wanna point out jack grabbing owen to stop him instead of owen collapsing into tears and sobbing into jacks chest while jack holds him. the dead man walking script similarly didn't specify the physical touch between jack and owen in the three places it appears, so i imagine that was largely something decided by the actors... i'm very compelled by the three separate instances where we see owen attack jack one minute / at one point in the ep and then sob in his arms the next. their relationship is sooo unhealthy fff

[teabookgremlin]

hey pals lets talk 02x08. i am typing this out for the third fucking time bc i keep accidentally clicking out of the post editor and then all that i’ve written gets deleted so i’m at my limit i fucking cannot. ANYWAY i’d also like to add that i know people have a lot of criticisms/concerns about the quality of this season (all of which are valid) but i am still going into it as like hell yeah this slaps bc i think media is good if i enjoy it. like i have barely any sense of objectively good vs bad media and since i am still enjoying and am very invested in yellowjackets it’s still really good to me. obviously my issues with the season are coming up in some of my recaps and i’ll go into more overall once i do a season recap next week but for now i did just wanna let y’all know that bc i get it that’s not the most common take in this fandom. anyway spoilers under cut as per usual, lets go

- akilah’s mouse actually being dead broke me a little my poor baby has just been playing with a dead mouse for weeks :( anyway i do love the dead/not dead hallucinations and hope we get more (cough cough more ghost jackie make ella a series regular again cough cough)

- the scene with tai seeing other tai all around her was good. i also do think that other tai is coming back out more in the teen timeline as lottie being out of it means no more prayer/dbt time so it’s likely other tai could creep back in and i’m definitely curious as to how much of teen tai’s actions this episode were dictated by other tai

- FUCKING CREEP COP AND HIS SMUG FUCKING FACE ABOUT THE SEARCH WARRANT i hate him so much please just kill him someone do it. like i get an investigation into adam’s death needs to happen but like i am so sick of the police plot line and the amount of screen time it’s getting. and him being a dick to callie and fucking using shauna’s past as more of a reason to accuse her was gross. fuck creep cop all my homies hate creep cop

- “we all need things we can’t have” and then the look van gives tai ugh i wish these bitches could just work it out bc they do need each other!

- very glad travis finally apologized to nat and then him telling her that she’s a good person was very sweet bc SHE IS she’s the best of them truly

- van being snarky about all the murder <3

- i continue to not trust walter this man is weird i think the wilderness should choose him as it’s sacrifice

- honestly kinda disappointed that the jeff death scene was just a nightmare. also the fact that he’s getting scared of shauna makes me worried bc his ass better not turn on her i swear to god.

- jeff telling callie about wilderness baby was honestly heartbreaking but it was also not his place to tell her that. i want shauna and callie to talk about it i think it would be a good moment for them

- “we need to find a way to stay alive and it can’t be her” i want to know if this was tai or other tai

- i do really like the drawing the queen card being the way to choose a kill. i agree with some people saying we didn’t get enough build up to this point and i do agree that the next instance of cannibalism should’ve been oh another person happened to die guess we’ll eat them. like the ritualistic hunt probably shouldn’t have started this season but i still like the ritual. i will say though the nausea and anxiety i felt during that scene was so intense they certainly got the feelings out of me that they were going for 

- i do just wanna take a moment and appreciate the moments of relief during the card draw. tai’s face when van was safe, travis and javi hugging, i enjoyed those moments a lot

- i was kinda surprised that nat drew the queen, like you’d think the hunters would be given safety for at least the first few draws but i guess not

- then the necklace as the symbol for the kill, nat making shauna look her in the eyes very nice

- “we’ve been denying it that’s why we’re all so fucked up”  then the suggested sacrifice, i don’t think it’ll actually happen tho. i do think it’s possible that at least one of the survivors will die over the course of the series but i do not think it’ll be this early

- “van who used to be so full of life but now something is broken within her” SOB

- so intrigued by javi’s tree, also those were definitely human bones in there right? could it be crystal? someone who was there before? idk but i assume it comes back to the antler queen entity

- the javi death scene was fucking heartbreaking. nat first trying to save him then being pulled off. them all just watching him drown. yeah that was a lot i was like frozen for a good few minutes after i finished like damn

[lifesver]

[ louder, groundshaking boss music in retaliation ] howdy kels :)) i very much share the sentiment that meeting you has been nothing short of so amazing, hilarious, heartbreaking, and so much good vibes so far ♡ i've said it quite some times before i know, broken record, but truly am so very happy to have met you, gotten to write all these absolutely wild aus and dynamics with you and i am so very cheering on what all of it - and what you will bring to our dashes - in the coming year c: i'm very VERY much looking forward to seeing where you take leland, to be able to read all your newspaper publishings across the dash, and where these kiddos will take us all. im very happy to be in this little corner with you guys. :) ♡

you bring such a strong breath of life into leland - he's realistic, he's brave even when he's absolutely terrified and has no clue how to go forward. his love for his friends is so very clearly shown in everything you write regarding either the dires or the friends simply goofing around. he comes across like such a living, breathing character and its thanks to the dedication and love you put in for him. from a guy that gun seems adamant on reducing so badly ( and so fucking wrongly ) as so one-dimensional, icky gross jock stereotype, you've allowed him to grow into such a precious, adorable, kind-hearted guy that honestly? i feel most people would kill to have as a friend. he's silly and warm and goofy in all the right ways and when things go wrong he's so complex and fractured and his depth truly gets to shine in those darker moments.

which of course brings me to that note; all the flavors of the dire aus :))

it has been SO MUCH FUN and SO VERY HEARTBREAKING getting to write with leland and maria in NOSY in particular. their dynamic alone is so gut-wretchingly tragic just on surface level, but the depth that it sinks into, in all of their trajectories, all of their shared dynamics with johnny & lamb, their complex and confusing feelings towards the friends, its been absolutely a blast getting to brainstorm and shoot ideas at all hours about it and im so thankful i get to be part of that experience with both you and lamb. your minds and your love for leland and johnny really bring out such a passion in return to me to write and brainstorm more and its been an amazing experience bouncing ideas off from you two. i absolutely cannot wait to see how, whether in threads or in ask responses, NOSY / WSU and all its different trajectories and more play out as this new year goes on.

i also very much enjoy all the little ideas and hcs and posts we all get ot bounce off of one another - esp getting silly with the aliases, im just adoring all the ways that we're expanding these kiddos to places gun could Literally Never honestly.

ill end it here but know i admire you, your characterization of leland, the love you have for him that so clearly shows in everything you post, your writing as a whole ( because holy shit i adore leland's inner thoughts, how you describe the world and people around him at any given moment!! )and likewise that i read your work, even simple hcs, and its inspiring to get to form a reply to.

i love you and value you and your friendship and as a writing partner and i truly hope this year is nothing but great and rewarding to you as well!! ♡♡♡

UGH RENEE i finally reply to this bc it's so kind and i need it on my blog. i did not expect u to uno reverse me but perhaps i should have, in fact, known-- no but like idk man i don't have a lot of words but this means so much 2 me and i'm so happy to write with you and be ur pal and just be crafting these dynamics and completely out of hand narrative arcs. like it's so nice to just go off the rails w you ik i can pitch something unhinged and u will pull up with another several paragraphs and suddenly we're crying on the ground in shamblse. it keeps happening -- (and i love it)

ur so sweet TT___TT thank u for tolerating me and the jock we love u. i adore all our dynamics so much. and i wanna hype you and ur writing up all the time you always insp me!!! raaaa

i look forward to hanging out with you even more in the new year, and seeing all that you do with your writing on here, it's such a blast to collaborate, and you guys all keep me inspired to write on here and think of new stuff. (and shout out u in particular for always leaving me about a thousand inbox prompts that hurt my feelings that i am possessed to draft 23423432 word replies to. thanks for enabling my angst and drama and dire writing ur so real for that genuinely)

i have waxed poetic in ur inbox i'll shut up before i just ramble the same nonsense here but like ily sm MWAHH

[sixofravens-reads]

88, 89, and 134 also i didnt see it but is there a book with Found Family 👀

Hi!!

88. a book that made you angry

OH BOY. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty is the most recent one. She's very adamant about how we're all being screwed over by a funeral industry that makes you pay thousands extra for things you don't need, tries to upsell you on your loved ones' final arrangements, etc etc. Just made me really angry and frustrated bc like, what a shitty thing to be trying to make a buck off of! and it made me realize there are so many things I don't want done with my body that are inescapable, because "dump me in the woods for the wolves and bears to eat, no formaldehyde, no makeup, do NOT try and squeeze my dead ass into those pantyhose for a viewing, thanks" is not acceptable in this day and age (at least the wolves and bears part).

89. a book that disappointed you

Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace. i'd had high expectations for it, but it just didn't live up to them lol. The writing style was very plain, and I just couldn't get into the story. Some of the worldbuilding really didn't make sense, but I wasn't intrigued enough to read on and find out what the explanations would be (if any). I gave it about 70ish pages but it didn't click.

134. unreccomend any book you like!

hmmmmm which one this time...

How about The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley? I'm still mad about one of the main characters being fridged, after being treated horribly for most of her life and being on the cusp of freedom. Also, the author could've had us follow things from Grace's perspective, but didn't, meaning a lot of the actually cool sci-fi stuff never got explored really in-depth. Also one of the MCs is extremely manipulative and does the thing where he sees the future but won't tell anyone outright, just tries to subtly manipulate them into doing what he wants (or just makes them guess) which is extremely annoying, both because it makes him kind of a gross love interest and also because the whole "I could tell you but why don't we play a game instead" bad communication thing is very annoying to read.

Found Family

the Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce (classic), and The Serpent Gates duology by A. K. Larkwood, and Ordinary Monsters by J. M. Miro, I think (I'm bad at remembering what books have found families and what ones just have Really Strong Friend Groups, but I'm pretty sure these qualify!

[falinscloaca]

this is no place of honor. nothing good is buried here. like, look at those tags, jesus fucking christ icansayithewasalsojewish there they are, i'm at fucking PEAK 2:11 in the morning brain and i got hooked on the discourse rod like two hours ago at this point? i've been rewriting the same sentence over and over again trying to come up with a way to insult most of the people on this site while excluding all the people i'd feel legit fucking terrible making feel bad (which. includes forseeably anybody reading this unless the grace of god does- AAAAAAAUGHGHGHGGG JUST PUBLISH THE FUCKING THING

yooo this post literally begins "as a trans woman" and is about "discourse", uncool fetish shit, and like. idfk if theres even word for that other thing. People That Are Not Trans Women Keep Your Mouths Shut On This. Maybe Nobody Should Reply At All Actually? i've reached paranoid moralizing stink-beast levels that i don't even really know what to logically do with like i SHOULD post something and this is like my fifth time trying but also it feels deeply unwholesome to either reject or welcome outside input.

being a a trans woman, (which is. fucking relevant because YES THIS SHIT GETS TUMLBRFIED ALONG DEMOGRAPHIC LINESSSSS I'M REWRITING A FOLLOW UP THAT MORE DIRECLTY MADE CLEAR IT WAS ABOUT TRANSMISOGYNISTIC REACTIONS TO THINGS-RANGING-FROM-COMPLETELY-INNOCUOUS-TO-FRINGE-CASE-PERVERT-SHIT-I.-JFC-I-CANT-EXPLAIN-IT-MORE-AGAIN-I'LL-COLLAPSE) one who is NOT immune to internet horny in all its forms ranging from innocuous to.... Less [private information/"backstory" expunged tldr the internet can fuck you up especially if you grow to view it as a place of refuge] and is ALSO extremely adamant that Hey I Think That People Should Face Repercussions For Publicly Saucing Up On "Gross" (don't. make me spell out the exact points at which i think the enjoyment of a particular subject can be morally justifiable we'd be here all week and we'd kill ourselves before the talk was done) Shit but ALSO also the moral phucking filosopher in me can't shake off the feeling that Even Kink Shaming For Legit "Dangerous" Shit (in. interpersonal and cultural normalization ways not "shoot your boyfriend in the pancreas" ways) Still Fucking Counts As Sexual Harassment*** and. ghahghhhh.

at least if i didn't have a moral backbone i could hang out with those smug pretentious fictional bullshit loving DOUCHEBAGS but no i guess i'd chose "foolhardy and can-have-their-sense-of-Innate-Morality-swayed-into-fascistic-tendencies yet barring those incidencees are still fundamentally deep down good" to "i have pleasured myself with uranium-27 every evening for the past three years and its everyone elses problem, radiation is a puritanical myth" (or for that matter "foolhardy and easily swayed into fascistic tendencies and pretending to be good but its mostly people getting mad at trans women for calling themselves dogs or being furries". i do not intend to equivocate The Bad Thing Thats Transmisogynist with my own fucking sad little adoptive poop house filled with people failing to actually make any progress in extricating 'that stuugh' from the contexts where its fucking dangerous but like hey we're trying and i guess thats better than worshipping the the fucking stuff)

*** just bc i call it that doesn't mean arguments can't be made as to why its necessary or for the public good bla bla bla i'm not strictly arguing against it its just. even entertaining that it might be a lesser of two evils opens up so many fucking unsanswerable questions and my feelings-of-personal-shame-and-guilt engines just start kicking in bc this shit can't even be framed as "rationally" or "concisely" as a fucking trolley problem i'm moral relativisming my way into absolutism somehow i pray for hell to be real so that the duty of judgement can be left to hands other than my own for I Too am imperfect (albeit not in a way that gets off to children, LOL, get fucked i do still have the moral highground, like not over YOU necessarily but over those *other* dipshits that neither of *us* like)

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[strangerthings4theories]

I saw season 2 and 3 again and wanted to ask your opinion. When Will was possesed, his mom, brother and mike tried to snap him out of the control by talking for hours about emotional memories but it did not work, he only was able to use morse code. Also, his eyes colour changed. But how was Billy able to overcome the mind flayer when El, a child he does not even know, just mentions his mom? I can inderstand that he got a grip of himself in the saune bc. of the heat but at the mall? Also, his eye colour never changed? Did i miss something? Any thoughts on it?

I always interpreted the eye color thing as primarily a stylistic choice. It does have a lot of meaning though!

From a film design perspective, the Duffers needed a visible way to signal when a character is possessed or not. With Will, they decided on a subtle marker, a change in eye color (possibly because they thought anything more than that was too intense for a 13/14 year old). This emphasizes the mental nature of his possession. The Shadow is in his mind.

With Billy, the Duffers went for gross, thorny veins covering his entire body. This does two things:

It creates the aesthetic of a "beast skin," which he sheds when he throws off the Mind Flayer's control. (Billy's design and story arc draws heavily on Prince Adam from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I'll talk about that eventually.)

It emphasizes how the Mind Flayer is controlling his body, using him to commit horrible acts, while his mind is still a battleground. By preserving the natural color of his eyes, the Duffers are showing us there's a human being trapped inside. Watch Dacre's acting, and you can see it. His eyes are always screaming! (In an interview, he uses these exact words to describe how he felt)

As for how El could reach Billy, keep in mind Will's friends and family are able to reach him. He just can't break free completely, and instead taps out a message in morse code. So the question becomes, why does Billy gain control of his entire body when Will can only control his hand? I have a few suggestions...

(1) As an older boy, Billy is more capable of fighting back.

He's had more time to build up resilience and a "fuck you" attitude. So it makes sense that he can defend himself better; it's a function of age.

(2) The heightened drama of Billy's experience helps him punch back harder.

Like I said before, Will doesn't get out and do much while he's possessed. Billy, on the other hand, kidnaps and terrorizes people, and this creates a HUGE buildup of guilt, remorse, and panic inside him. (Again, watch Dacre's acting - you can tell.)

And THEN, to add more "punch" to the situation, El reminds Billy of a memory that cuts right to the heart of his central wound. While Will's friends and family remind him of a wide range of memories, El reminds Billy of the mother he lost. The reminder cracks through his outer shell, unleashing all the grief, love, and hurt he's kept hidden for years, and he immediately breaks out in tears.

I think it also reminds him of who's ultimately responsible for his mom going away: his dad, an abuser like the Mind Flayer. The strength of his resulting emotions helps him recreate another of his memories, the night at the dinner table where he tackled his dad to protect his mom. This time, he tackles the Mind Flayer to protect El.

Tl;dr - Billy has a ton of deep, fiery emotions burning beneath the surface. At Starcourt, they crest in a sudden flood that punches through the Mind Flayer's control. This is different from Will's experience, which is somewhat milder in comparison.

(3) Billy and El have a special connection we don't understand yet.

On the surface, they don't really know each other, but I believe there's more to the story. See my posts here and here.

--

I hope that answered your questions. Let me know if you have any more ☺️

[saetoru]

omg in literally just saw the adam video too! seems like it’s about to blow up. tbh shame on them both for them both to have been involved in the affair imo. but extra extra extra sleazy for him as the married one + trying to name is future child the name of his mistress?! like hoooooly fak. new levels of low reached. i think she put out the story now before it could reach the tabloids and have her reputation smeared before she could defend herself against that shit storm.

secondly, i’m glad cheaters are so stupid as to get caught like this so ppl know. but i just wonder howwww dumb can someone (adam) be to leave such a paper trail. like the confidence he has to think he could just get away with it all? and ask her that so casually?!? astounds me. but i mean i guess he is scum for cheating in the first place, so very stupid. but just insane. he is so gross in soo many levels 🙃.

OKAY LIKE IM GONNA SAY SOMETHING RLY CONTROVERSIAL HERE THAT I THINK PPL ARE GONNA KILL ME FOR

but i hate the girl

well okay i don’t think that’s controversial—i think most ppl agree she sucks. but i think she’s just as much at fault tbh (which i think some ppl will get mad at bc everyone always says the cheater is most at fault. which in a sense is true. but also. not rly)

like don’t get me wrong of the two of them, he’s the more evil for sure like he has two daughters and a pregnant wife and he wants to name his unborn child after his mistress ??? has he no love for his family ???

but.

i feel like if ur aware a man is VERY publicly married (since 2014 !!) and you still entertain his advances and go further. and then proceed to hide the clear evidence you could provide his wife to let her know who she’s married to ??? like this girl was deadass willing to keep it a secret forever. she’s only coming out bc it was about to be on the tabloids. like ??! she’s DEMONIC. that’s literally so demonic like wtf

idk she’s a witch for that i hate her 😒

anyway i think both of them should be stabbed

[menlove]

since people are irritating me abt good omens again and saying it's good queer rep bc they're ace (even though literally like a year before the show dropped when writing and filming was already mostly done gaiman said it wasn't romantic and then changed his tune after fan reaction but I digress)

here's a non exhaustive list of very easy and simple ways they could've been made explicitly queer without sex or kissing bc that's not the only way to show queer representation!!

one of them saying I love you at any point in the show. if it's earlier imagine an "I love-" "don't" "you know I do." "yes, but we can't say that. not with- ears." situation. or at the end of the series once it's not an issue imagine at the dinner scene something like: "I love you, you know" "I know. I love you too"

small displays of affection. hand holding. hand kisses. cheek kisses. hand on the small of the back. crowley squeezing aziraphale's knee or vice versa.

a human character (maybe adam) asking if they're a couple and getting a "erm well- it's complicated-" from aziraphale or a "yes" from either of them

if you wanted explicit ace rep! you could even have a character ask if they're together and if they say yes they get asked why they don't kiss much and one of them could shrug and say they aren't into that sort of thing!

either could've been hit on at any point and gone "sorry, I'm already taken"

and on and on and on

like if you think they're ace that's amazing. I love that for you. but a) stop demonizing gay people when you talk about it and b) realize that you can ask for more explicit rep and also that more explicit representation does not have to mean fucking and kissing

you can be as happy as you want with the portrayal of their relationship but please stop calling other queer people asking for better xyz-phobic. we're not. and frankly your insistence that all of us are "sex obsessed freaks" or that even if we do write them having sex we're gross/bad is shitty too.

and sure I'll eat my words if season 2 comes out and literally any of this happens but I'd be willing to bet that it's gonna be the same exact thing as season 1: obvious to queer people but passable as platonic to any homophobe

[jpegjade]

When the Party’s Over - Spencer

WHY IS THIS THE LONGEST THING IVE WRITTEN???? probably bc drunk me is wordy. i do talk a lot when i’m drunk and it gets on people’s nerves. i just really love you guys. i was sad when i wrote this, really sad, and it’s the first “smut”???? ive ever written. so here we go frens and ferns. 

warnings: uuuhhhh smut???

________________

When the night started, you were at Rossi’s house, getting drunk with the team. It was right after a hard case, difficult on everyone’s psyche so Rossi invited everyone over to relax in the usual way. After pasta and drinks, most of the team was still there while Spencer offered to drive you home since you were not in the shape to drive and he was the only one who opted for water instead of alcohol. He was beat but he wasn’t in the mood to drink tonight. 

Spencer was being a good friend but he had his motives. He wanted to talk to you in the car. You weren’t so drunk that you wouldn’t remember the conversation but your inhibitions were lowered enough to be truly and completely honest with him so you were the slightest bit tipsy but not drunk. You were 100% lucid and could think for yourself but you took the excuse to drink some of the smirnoff you brought and keep going. 

He wasn’t planning for it to happen like this but you were being very outspoken to everyone at the party so he figured it was time to get you home before you were out of a job after calling Hotch, “Hotchner the Grouch.” They found it funny but Spencer knew that you could go wrong easily. 

“Spencer Reid.” You said, staring at him. “I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be as honest as I’m being right now.” 

“Okay. I promise to be honest.” Spencer said, a little nervous. He chuckled anyway because you were so adamant that he answered honestly. 

“Do you like me?” You asked, suddenly very serious. 

“Y/n, you’re my best friend. Of course I like you.” Spencer tried to give you an answer that wouldn’t expose his real thoughts. 

For the past few months, Spencer thought about you a lot. It caused him to avoid you a little bit but you wouldn’t let him stray too far away from you. You kept texting him outside of the team group chat. You continued inviting him over for dinner. You never relented on checking in with his mental health. You never gave up on your relationship with him. 

 You were so focused on his jawline that your hand worked by itself, poking his face. He smiled and made the turn into your apartment complex’s parking lot and parked. 

“While I appreciate the validation of our friendship, that’s not what I mean and you know it.” You said, very serious. 

Spencer looked over at you, nervous to answer. He swallowed and took a shaky breath. 

“Y/n, is it really important?” Spencer tried to avoid the conversation. 

He opened the door and got out, walking quickly around to your side of the car to open the door. He didn’t have to but he wanted to. It’s always what he did. 

“Yes, it’s important, Spencer. I want to know.” You bumped shoulders with him as the two of you walked to your apartment on the third floor. 

Spencer sighed. 

“Yes, I like you. A lot…” You and Spencer arrived at your door, handing you your keys. 

You just stood there, staring up at Spencer. You reached up to touch his hair. It was so soft… You wrapped your fingers around one of the curls and smiled. Spencer stood there, nose ghosting over yours. 

“Do you want to come in?” It was barely audible but it was there. 

“I shouldn’t. You’re not sober. Unless you just want to hang out.” He said, looking at his wing tip shoes. 

“Spencer, get in here. I have literally been waiting almost a whole year for you to say that.” You pulled him to you by his tie and kissed him. 

*****

It was tentative at first. It tasted like spearmint gum. Spencer wasn’t chewing any at the moment so you guessed that he had been chewing it earlier. You liked that. It was refreshing. Slowly, Spencer got more comfortable with the kiss and relaxed and got more involved. It was sweet and gentle and soft. You felt his hands in your hair and felt the gentle pull and you released an involuntary moan. You could feel Spencer smile, the two of you momentarily breaking apart. 

Breaking apart left you speechless and in a daze. It was almost like you were in a fog but your head was clear. You were more than ready to do what you had been thinking about with Spencer for the past year. Some part of you needed this release while the other part of you needed him. 

“So inside?” You said. “The apartment, I mean.” 

“Yeah.” Spencer said, just as dazed.

Getting in the door was a task by itself. You and Spencer tried to go in at the same time and it was quite awkward but he let you go in first. 

You closed the door behind you, pressing your back to the cold surface. Scanning Spencer’s face, you saw that he was staring at your lips. 

“Do you want to continue here or should we...” He asked, looking back up at your eyes. 

“You tell me. I’ll let you take control tonight.” You said, smirking. 

Spencer clenched and unclenched his jaw nervously before licking his lips. You always liked when he did that. He wore chapstick but he never did it for anything other than a sign that he was thinking. 

“I haven’t been in your apartment before.” He said, gingerly. He smiled as you took his hand, guiding him to your bedroom. 

You grabbed your cat off the bed, putting it outside the bedroom and shooing it away. The cat sauntered around to find somewhere else to sleep. 

“Are we really about to do this?” Spencer asked, looking at you on the bed. 

Laying back on the bed, half of you held up by your elbows, you marveled at Spencer. The light from your hallway illuminated his silhouette very nicely. You could see the curves of his arms and his slender frame very clearly. 

“Do you want to do it?” You said, tilting your head a little bit. 

“Yeah, a lot.” Spencer said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. 

He had dreamed about this moment, literally, but he didn’t know he would be so nervous. He didn’t think it would ever happen. He never imagined you’d be laying in front of him like this. 

“Then drop the pants and I’ll drop to my knees,” You smirked. 

“Do you mind if we skip that part?” Spencer said not really in the mood for a blow job. 

It wasn’t that he was opposed to it, it’s just that he didn’t want to think of you like that yet. He felt like those experiences were for days where there wasn’t much time. Tonight, you had all the time in the world.

“You’re telling me you don't want my mouth on your dick?” You said, confused. 

You stood up, getting close to Spencer. You started unbuckling his belt and he audibly swallowed. He was nervous, not because of you but because he wanted this to go right. There was pressure when it came to something so intimate for the first time with someone. He felt your hands on his hips once you got his belt undone. 

“Shoes on or off?” He asked. 

“I’m taking my shoes off, obviously.” You said, already flipping them off. “Oh, you mean you. Well depends on what you want to do. You can bend me over the side of the bed, fuck me from behind, and call it a night. Or, if you want to draw it out, you can climb on top of me and fuck me in the bed. Oh, there’s also shower sex if you feel gross. Wouldn’t recommend it because it’s slippery and counterproductive to me getting wet.” You were rambling off some of the many fantasies and logistics that you’d thought about over the past year. You had thought about it a lot. 

Spencer kissed you. He just wanted you to take a breath because the more you talked about what you thought about, the more he thought about it. And the more he thought about all the ways he wanted to make love to you, the more he just wanted to get started. 

“Spencer, please pick somewhere because I’m literally struggling to keep it together.” You said in a low tone. 

“Clothes off, on the bed, legs open. I’ve got you tonight, baby.” Spencer said with a little more confidence. 

“Yes, sir.” You said, getting undressed. 

Spencer watched you but at the same time, he got dressed down to his boxers. Staring at you, he wondered how you were able to stay so calm on the outside right now. He didn’t usually have the sex drive as high as this moment. His body was on fire with desire and excitement but he was trying so hard to contain it. 

You laid down in the bed, just like Spencer told you to. He flipped on the light and you protested lightly with a groan and covered your face with both hands. 

“I want to watch you come all over me and lose complete control of your body. I can’t do that in the dark.” He said, walking over to the bed. 

“Well damn. Look at you, Spence. Actually showing some confidence. About damn time.” You said, smiling. You loved confident Spencer in all aspects of life, not just here. There was something about him that made you...want to be laid out in front of him, completely naked like you were now. 

“I honestly don’t know where I want to start…” Spencer said. Climbing onto the bed, he did the first thing that came to mind. 

“What’s your line?” He said, kissing your inner thigh, right above your knee. 

“Fuck, uh…” You never really thought of it in relation to Spencer. “Just don’t kill me.” You nervously chuckled. 

More thigh kisses. You wanted to grab your phone and put on some background music but it was just out of reach and Spencer’s arms looped through your legs and pinned your waist down to the bed. His grip was pretty firm. 

“Spence, can we…” A deep moan cut you off and slipped out your mouth when you felt his mouth finally where you wanted him. 

“Hmm?” Spencer looked up at you while his mouth went to work. The vibrations sent shockwaves up your body. 

“Holy shit. More.” You said. More was what he gave you, slipping in two fingers that matched the tempo that his mouth set. 

You were almost there, Spencer’s hair firmly in your hand and his name tumbling from your lips like a prayer, when Spencer slowed down and all together stopped. 

“I swear to god the room better be of fire.” You said, gritting your teeth. You were so, so close and he was being a tease. 

“You’re being a brat, baby. I promise I’ll give you exactly what you’re looking for.” Spencer said, looking for a towel.

“Don’t be a wuss. Kiss me.” You said, drawing his attention away from his towel search. He was nervous that you wouldn’t want to kiss him after he just went down on you. Crawling on top of you, he just stared at your features before you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to you. 

You hated breaking apart from kissing him, you really did. It left you in a daze, making the light seem a little too bright for your eyes. He rushed over to his satchel, digging in its contents to find the condom Morgan gave him for emergency purposes as a joke one day. Who knew it would come in handy. 

“Are you ready?” You asked Spencer. He chuckled. 

“I was just about to ask if you were ready.” Spencer went back to being a little awkward. He was nervous that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with you. 

“Spencer are you sure you don’t want me to help you out?” You asked, watching him shift as he got rid of his underwear. 

“I think I’m okay.” He said, blushing. 

“Okay well let me know if… Spencer, what the fuck?” You asked, looking down, between the two of you. “And you expect me to take all of that?” 

“Is it bad? I know I’m not like other guys but…” Spencer grew a little shy. 

“No, just work your magic because you’re different than most guys. Spence, just be confident because you are very special.” You said, hoping it helped him come back out of his shell. 

“Breathe, okay? It might be a little… Much.” Spencer said, lining himself up with you. 

“I’m fi…” You were cut off as he gently pushed into you. “Holy shit!” Was all you could breathe out while you tried to catch your breath. Much was an understatement with what you felt from Spencer just barely being inside of you.

He paused to let you adjust but it was tough. You could feel yourself stretching when he started moving a little more to help you relax. He took your leg and hitched it around his waist, making you gasp in shock. That was a completely new sensation that sped up your heart rate even faster, your head getting slightly dizzy. 

“Stay with me, darling, okay?” He whispered in your ear. 

If you weren’t all in with Spencer before, your feelings were definitely there now. 

The pace he set was slow and gentle, soft and delicate like he didn’t want to break you. It was just like you imagined it. Your hands intertwined with Spencer’s as he treated you so kindly. You felt pressure just below your stomach and it was like you couldn’t do anything but shut your eyes and let your body feel it. 

“Just keep breathing, okay? It makes it last longer.” Spencer said, trying to stay focused. His brain was going through the female anatomy but he wanted to stay focused. He opened his eyes as he continued pushing himself in and out of you. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable, taking his right hand and moving his thumb over your cheek. You looked so soft under him. 

“Faster.” You whimpered, the only thing you could manage. 

Everything felt nice, it felt comfortable. You were comfortable with Spencer. You thought it would be hotter, more dramatic when you would imagine it. You imagined him grabbing your hips and plunging himself into you until your body was exhausted and used. But that’s not how it worked. 

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked, quietly. He was going faster and a bit harder, making it very hard for you to concentrate. 

“I’m…” You couldn’t think of the answer. You couldn’t think at all right then.

“You’re doing such a good job, love. Just relax, I’ve got you.” Spencer kissed you on the forehead before shifting your leg a bit higher on his hip. That ignited something inside of you that was hard to turn off. 

Your body was on pins and needles. You felt your body shaking as you held onto Spencer’s hand. He kissed you, soft and slightly frenzied. He was chasing his own release so quickly. Everything moved so smoothly between the two of you. 

Spencer’s body rolled into yours like the ocean, and you were the beach. His waves rushed into your shore over and over, filling you with pleasure you couldn’t find on your own. He was kissing your neck, marking you with sweet mumbles of, “I’m all yours.” 

“Spence…” Another instance of being unable to think or speak clearly. 

“I know, I know. And I want you to let it go for me. Be good for me and let go, y/n. I’m right here.” He said, kissing you deeply. 

Spencer pushed into you a little sloppier, trying to stay composed but it was a challenge. He wanted to make sure you rode out your high, which you were definitely doing. Your body was shaking and you were out of it a little bit as you came down. Spencer finished in the condom and kissed you so many times that you lost count. Your cheeks, your neck, your lips, forehead, nose, lips again. 

“Spencer, that was… That was nice.” You said, opening your eyes. He was smiling over you, shaking a little bit. You weren’t sure if his arms were tired or if he felt like you did. You hoped to god that he felt like you did. It worked out so well up to this point. 

He rolled off of you, standing up to get that towel to clean you up. He saw the bathroom door cracked open so he slipped the condom off and put his star trek underwear back on as he went into the bathroom and warmed up a small towel and grabbed a big towel. 

“I got aftercare towels.” He said, walking back into the room. 

You had curled up into yourself, laying down on your side, as you fell asleep slowly. You heard him come back into the room and smiled as he cleaned you up and helped you put a t-shirt on. Putting the towels in your wastebasket, he flipped the overhead light off and came back around to the opposite side of the bed and gently nudged you to let him hold you. 

“How do you feel?” Spencer asked, nuzzling his head into the crook between your shoulder and your neck. 

He felt so warm on your back like that, holding you tight. You felt safe and secure. 

“Spence, I love you.” You mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear. 

“I love you too, y/n,” Spencer said, falling asleep himself.

________________

taglist: 

@i-love-you-green

[jynzandtonic]

I completely and totally do not mean this to be like a “call out” ask or anything argumentative at all I truly think you’re one of the most kind and compassionate bloggers in the adcu and I know people are going to say that it’s all just jokes/being silly/not that serious, but I feel a bit like the jokes/joking outrage at the new character pics have been a bit much and leaning towards the fatphobic/ oversexualizing Adam side of things. I truly do know that most people are just joking around but as a fat person, I basically took “we wanted hot!professor Adam not this” to mean “this” is ugly and gross. And one of my closest friends in the world has early male balding and quite literally almost has the same hairline as Adam’s character at the age of 27 and it’s his deepest insecurity and he genuinely feels like no woman could possibly find him attractive the more he loses hair, and being on Twitter and Reddit and seeing people’s reactions and mocking of those pics really just reaffirmed that for him. I know people are going to maybe roll their eyes at this and say it’s all just jokes and not that deep but there are a few of us that the comments kind of just put a pit in our stomachs. I guess I just wanted people to maybe take a step back and think about the implications of their words a little more and what’s kind of implied (whether intentional or not) when you say you wanted a “hot” character to lust over and this ain’t it. I know the actual costuming isn’t that great and some have said that’s what their reactions were really about, but I didn’t see many “wow it looks so fake that’s what I’m actually laughing at” posts. There were also a few comments I saw and interactions with your posts and some others saying like “oh no well it makes sense that they made him fat and ugly because the character is a horrible guy” also basically implying that being fat and not meeting our standard beauty expectations for men (and women) = you’re a bad gross person. Sorry for my essay here and being maybe a pain in the ass for bringing this up as I know the comments sort of died down now, but it’s still sitting with Jacob (my guy friend) and I and I’m still feeling very shit about my body (not solely bc of the jokes but they just reaffirmed the negative “you’re gross and undesirable” thoughts I already have) so I felt it was maybe worth mentioning. xxx💕

First and foremost, I want to say thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts. Don’t apologize at all! <3 Also, please know you can always always always give me constructive criticism when it comes to stuff like this—I want to do my best to learn and grow.

Your feelings are completely valid and your points are ABSOLUTELY worth bringing up.

To address the photos: with the first round of pics that came out, I personally found the costume to be tacky/over-the-top 80s and the wig to look really unrealistic—the more recent rounds of pictures have changed my mind a bit. My qualms were with the costuming, but I didn’t do a good job of making that clear.

It’s 100% on me for HC’ing him a different way than his look in the film—I think my expectations were in part built around the ‘Charlie Barber with glasses’ look à la Noah and in part how I imagined him in the book, so I was surprised to see something so radically different. I deeply apologize for the ways fatphobia and body-shaming manifested in the way I talked about it. 

I’m neither on twitter nor reddit, but I know those virtual landscapes can get truly vitriolic, and I’m so sorry for the icky feelings the posts you saw brought up, too.

Fatphobia is some toxic and pervasive shit, and it truly does carry serious negative implications for how we judge people’s character. 

White Noise is one of my favorite books (I’m a post-modernist nerd and DeLillo just nails it for me), and from my reads of the text, I don’t believe Jack’s character is a “horrible guy,” (though I know some disagree) but rather a flawed and insecure man desperate to cling to a sense of prestige and identity in order to give his life meaning. However, I absolutely agree that some have jumped to the rhetoric that there’s a correlational or even causational relationship between being fat/‘conventionally unattractive’ and being a “bad person,” and I, too, find it very upsetting. What you’re saying really rings true. 

As for the conversation about sexualization, I think AD is a phenomenal actor and I’ll yell it from the rooftops. I watch his films ad nauseam and will rave about his range and passion to anyone who will listen. That said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing sexual desire for his characters, and I sometimes think discussion can wander into vaguely condescending misogyny and slut-shaming when people talk about the ways women and femmefolk should or should not experience desire or consume his content. I think it’s more than possible to appreciate him as an actor and indulge in the thirst at the same time.

Again, I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for sharing your perspective, sweet anon. I’m sending all my love to you and your friend xoxoxo.

[livelongdolan]

Teacher’s Pet (G.D. & A.D.)

Summary: When you encounter a new teacher your freshman year of college, Grayson gets a bit jealous but there’s another feeling brewing inside of you. *This is a fanfic including Grayson Dolan and Adam Driver*

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: threesome smut, spanking, choking, just everything honestly lmao

A/N: i sent morgan an ask and i could NOT get it out of my head so this is what happened (btw this is dedicated to her bc she’s my fellow adam driver lover @vinylhazza hehe ily, also to my best friend Joie bc she helped me with the storyline uwu ily)

Tags: @vinylhazza (idek anyone else who would like this but lmk if u wanna be tagged!)

     You had always had friends that were older than you, so when you got into college you already knew about one of the professors you’d end up having freshman year. You were majoring in anthropology and the one in charge of the class for the first year was Professor Driver. Your friends had snuck pictures of him in class, talking about how attractive he was constantly but also how incredibly strict he was. You never really understood their infatuation until you walked into his class for the first time. The way that his nose curved, along with his jet black hair and hazel eyes had you hooked, not to mention how broad his shoulders and torso were. Friends of yours knew that you had changed your mind about him but what you didn’t know was that your best friend and soon to be boyfriend Grayson had noticed too. He sat next to you in the same class and watched the way you practically drooled over the tall man dressed nicely in a casual suit. But it also didn’t help that you constantly talked with him after class about how handsome the older man was. 

     “Gray I’m serious I think he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” The two of you are walking side by side after leaving the class and you can’t get your mind off Professor Driver. 

     “Really? You see me every day Y/N” He smiles, half joking. You playfully hit his shoulder and just laugh at his comment. 

     “Oh my gosh don’t even get me started on his body. His shoulders? Crafted by the gods Grayson I’m not even kidding. He’s just so…” you pause for a moment, trying to think of the perfect word to describe him “...big. Like massive. He could throw me around like a rag doll.”     At your comments Grayson pretends to throw up, slight jealousy brewing in his stomach but he’s not letting it show just yet. 

    “Y/N he’s our professor, you're gross.” He laughs but there’s slight meaning behind his words. You decide to ignore it and the conversation topic changes after a few more laughs from you. 

                                                               ~

   The next day the two of you walk into class, going through the classwork as you steal glances at the man at the front of the class. You make eye contact a couple times but look away quickly at each occurrence. After receiving your essay tests back from the week before you noticed that you had many more comments on yours than anyone else had, scrawled in purple ink. You showed your paper to Grayson and he gave you a look of surprise. 

     “Maybe he has a crush on you.” Grayson jokes. You shove his arm away and laugh, not realizing how loud you’re being.  

     “Miss Y/L/N. Care to share what you’re laughing about with the class?” Professor Driver’s voice carries loud across the classroom, booming off the walls into your ears. You instantly feel your face heat up at his comment. 

     “No Professor Driver sorry.” You mumble just loud enough for him to hear. 

     “Then I suggest you don’t laugh in my classroom. Keep it outside.” He speaks in a stern voice, sparking slight excitement mixed with fear inside of you.

     You simply nod in reply and smile at Grayson, making sure to stay quiet the rest of the class so as to not get in trouble again. After the lecture is over, you let Grayson know that you are going to stay behind to talk to Professor Driver. Although it isn’t his official office hours, you know he has time before the next class ends so he stays in the same room. You decide to take this opportunity to apologize sincerely for being loud in class as well as ask him about the notes left on presumably only your test. Walking towards his desk, you grip your essay in your hand and approach his desk where he is sat grading. 

“Professor Driver?” You ask, trying to get his attention. 

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N?” He responds, still keeping his eyes focused on the grading at hand. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I am truly sorry for what happened in class today. I’m just good friends with Grayson and we got carried away and I laughed too loud I promise it’ll never happen again I just-” 

“Stop. It’s okay. Just as long as you don’t do it again we won’t have any problems.” He interrupts. “Now is that all?” 

“Um no,” you pause for a moment, gathering your thoughts, “I actually wanted to also ask about my essay.” 

Before you can get any further he interrupts you again. 

“You know the rules. Talking about assignments is for office hours, not for time when I am working on your other assignments. You know where the clipboard is so sign up for a time and I’ll get to you.” The entire time he is still focused on the papers in front of him where you notice that there are no comments on anyone’s assignments, furthering your confusion. 

“But-” You try to speak before you are interrupted for the third time. 

“Y/N.” He says your name in such an intense manner that butterflies start up in your stomach. “I told you what to do. Follow the rules.” 

Feeling intimidated, you simply nod your head and make your way out of the classroom. 

                                                           ~

     About a week passes by before there is an opening in office hours. Since the professor is so strict about everything and grades so harshly, everyone is trying to salvage their grades. A couple days before you are supposed to meet, Grayson tells you that he needs to talk to you after school and that it’s very important. You meet him outside the library, where you usually meet, and start walking around campus before stopping in front of a small group of benches where people typically eat their lunch or study. 

     “Listen, Y/N, I need to tell you something. It’s been weighing on my chest for a while and even if it doesn’t turn out to be good I just need to get it all out.” He explains. You simply nod your head in response, allowing him to continue. 

     “I like you. More than a friend. I like you and I want us to be together if you feel the same way.” The words spill from his mouth quickly as if he’s scared of saying them. 

     “You like me?” You say in disbelief, not fully believing it since you’ve never seen him in that way before. He simply nods, shying away from saying anything more. “Why me? Like we’ve been best friends forever what changed your mind?” 

     “Well to be honest with you, when I heard you talking about our professor I got this really jealous feeling in my stomach and it wouldn’t go away so I just went home and thought about it for a bit and realized that I like you I guess.” He lets out a slightly awkward laugh. “And why shouldn’t someone like you? You’re beautiful, smart, and I don’t know I guess I just found something in you that I never noticed before when you talked about him. Sooo…”

     “I’m honestly not sure how I feel about you Gray, but I wanna explore this. I think it could work if I just figure out my emotions. So how about we just spend some time talking and stuff before becoming official?” You question, hoping he says yes because you honestly felt guilty about being so attracted to your shared professor still. 

     “Yes of course Y/N. No rush at all.” His smile is as bright as the sun at the news and the two of you continue your walk, the casual banter usually shared between the two of you having a new feel to it after his confession. 

                                                           ~

     The next couple days before your meeting with Professor Driver, you and Grayson spend almost all of your time together and you are definitely getting feelings for him. With each brush of your hands together or an accidental bump into the other, you feel your attraction growing to be as strong as his yet still not enough to be official yet. You had never noticed how attractive he was before all of this had happened though. Of course you had always known he was a handsome guy simply because his features were nicely arranged but you found yourself just wanting to look at him a lot of the time. A couple times he caught you, laughing and grabbing your hand to intertwine it with his as you continued whatever you had been doing. You were definitely in it now. But what about Professor Driver?

                                                           ~

    It was finally the day of your meeting with Professor Driver and you regretted wearing the skirt that Grayson had wanted you to wear for him, simply because you knew how clumsy you were and didn’t want to accidentally flash your teacher. Although in your mind deep down you knew it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

     After classes were over for the day, you instructed Grayson to wait at the bench right outside of the building so that you could get in and get out fast, returning directly to him. You made your way into the lobby, continuing down into the familiar classroom. Professor Driver was sitting at his desk on his computer, presumably putting in grades or something else having to do with all the grading he’s been doing lately. 

You knock slightly on the door and he motions to come in. You walk in and sit across from him in a plush chair with wooden arms, immediately putting your essay on the desk in front of you. 

“So I was just wondering about my essay test because I noticed that, at least from those around me, I am the only one with extra comments added. I got a good grade and the comments are positive so I was just wondering why mine has comments and others who did just as good do not.” You speak concisely as to make sure things are fast, not wanting to spend any more time around the temptation that is your professor longer than you have to. 

“Well, I saw that you have potential. The students I believe have potential, I actually put extra work into and make sure I add what they have done right and wrong to improve them as students and people. You just happen to be the only one with potential in this class therefore you are the only one with extra comments. Your essay was the only one to fully address each thing I instructed you all to address and with the work you do in class I see that although you do spend some time messing around with Mr. Dolan, you get your work done and you always hit the nail on the head.” As he speaks he almost unnoticeably glances down at your chest, where your cleavage was showing due to the low v-neck of your shirt. You take notice but leave the looks to your imagination, a red blush covering your face and moving down your neck at his compliments. 

“Thank you so much Professor Driver. I really appreciate your kind words.” You smile sweetly at him. 

“It’s no problem Y/N” he uses your first name once again making butterflies arise in your stomach. “Good girls deserve praise.” He is barely speaking above a whisper but you still hear him, the words instantly affecting you. You clench your thighs slightly to keep your arousal at bay. 

“What was that Professor?” You pretend as if you didn’t hear him, hoping it was just your mind playing tricks on you. 

He looks you up and down before gazing directly into your eyes. 

“I think you know what I said. I can tell by the way you’re clenching your thighs together Y/N.” It hadn’t registered that he was tall enough to see clearly over the desk. You immediately move your legs apart quickly, accidentally giving him a peek of the pink lace panties you were wearing.

“I-i’m sorry Professor I didn’t mean anything by it I’m kind of seeing someone I just-” Before you can finish your sentence, Grayson is walking up to you. You hadn’t realized that he’d come inside to check on you and heard what just happened. 

“Yeah you’re damn right you’re seeing someone. Me. So why are you” He looks pointedly at the large man sitting in the chair across from you “saying things like that to her? Doesn’t seem very professional of you to say, does it?” 

The professor is taken aback by Grayson’s words but simply looks up from his sitting position. 

“You’re simply too young to know what she wants. You can’t pleasure a woman without experience.” The words fall freely from his mouth as if he hasn’t a care in the world and he returns to grading the papers in front of him. 

Grayson’s mouth opens quickly in shock before he closes it again, responding angrily. 

“And what the fuck would you know about pleasing a woman? Don’t think you’re all big and bad just because you’re an old man. And not that you need to know, but I have plenty of experience thank you very much.” Grayson moves closer to you as he says this almost as if he’s protecting you. 

Professor Driver places his pen down before pushing his chair out from his desk and standing to his full height. Your breath is caught in your throat as you see how much taller the man truly is compared to Grayson. It’s not a lot but considering the circumstances it’s enough to make a difference. Grayson’s head tips back a bit as to make eye contact. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about so I’d be quiet if I were you.” The professor warns. “You probably haven’t even made her wet yet,have you? But I had her clenching her thighs together with four simple words. So tell me now, Mr. Dolan, exactly why you think you have experience?”  

Grayson is almost at a loss for words but an idea springs to his head. He reaches over to you, wrapping your hair around his fist and pulling you towards him causing you to let out a small whine at the pressure on your roots.  

“She’s mine. It doesn’t matter what the fuck you say.” Grayson’s eyes are red with anger. The bigger man steps forward so that you are now stuck between the two of them, tension so thick you couldn’t even cut it with the sharpest of knives. The two large men sandwiched you between them as angry glares are shared, the amount of testosterone elevating due to the threat of the other male. You looked between the two, having to tilt your head back to see both of their faces before you realized the expanse of their chests on either side of you. The way that they had you, you felt more like a prize to be won than an actual person. You weren’t complaining. 

“How about we let Miss Y/L/N decide? We can both fuck her and she’ll chose who she likes better. Although I think it would be a waste of time since we all know it’s me.” Professor Driver proclaims. Grayson reluctantly agrees as he turns you towards him. 

“Mr. Dolan. Go lock the door and pull down the curtain.” The professor’s eyes are trained on you as he says this, large hands moving down to your waist and pulling you towards him. “Gonna be a good little girl for me, huh?” He whispers in your ear, sending chills down your spine as you nod your head. 

“I’m not gonna fuckin’ do what you say.” Grayson argues, observing already what a grasp the older man has on you. The same man’s movements stop and he holds on to you. You look at Grayson with pleading eyes. 

“P-please Gray. Lock it and close the c-curtain. I need you.” Your words are filled with a deep whimpering hunger that you can no longer control. Grayson gives in since you said it and does as he is told. As he is walking away, the professor leans close into your ear. 

“You are allowed to call me anything you want. My name is Adam if you’d like to call me that but I prefer something a little more fun.” His lips are ghosting across your ear as he speaks, your knees going weak at just his words. Grayson returns quickly, grabbing your forearm and pulling you into his chest, before kissing you passionately. His lips are rough against yours and you can feel the anger in each movement he makes. Before you know it, Adam is behind you placing his hands up your skirt to take down the lace beneath. He rids of the small piece of fabric and lifts your skirt, large hands canvassing your ass before placing a harsh smack across it. You moan into your kiss with Grayson, letting him know the amount of pleasure you’re receiving from the admittedly more experienced man. 

Grayson moves away from you and pulls your shirt over your head, throwing it behind him along with your bra before kissing all the way from your neck down to your nipples. He takes one into his mouth, kneading and pinching the other with his other hand. While all of this is happening, Adam is removing your skirt and reaching his hand between your legs from the back to rub at your sensitive core which caused his hands to practically drip with your arousal. Before Grayson is done the professor pulls you towards him by your hips and turns you around by your hips, lifting you up. You wrap your legs around him, your core rubbing against the material of his button up, neither one of the men having gotten undressed yet. 

“S-sir please. Need more” You whine, burying your face into Adam’s neck and biting on the skin there. He lets out a grunt at your teeth against his skin. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” He reassures you, sweeping everything off of his desk and placing you on top. Grayson moves towards the two of you to keep himself included but he has no idea how to get access to you in the position that the older man has put you in. As Adam is unbuttoning his pants to be able to slide into you, Grayson takes his chance and moves towards you, crouching down after pushing the professor away and licking up the juices dripping from your core. Adam steps back, slightly impressed by Grayson’s willpower but still wanting to win you over. He lets Grayson continue, walking around to the side of you and moving your chin to face him. You come face to face with his huge cock and almost gasp in amazement of how big it is. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve ever seen.

“Open your mouth princess, take me in.” He demands softly, using his thumb to open your mouth for you before sliding himself in. The combination of him in your mouth and Grayson’s mouth fixed on you has you moaning around your professor so much to the point that after a bit he almost comes. He pulls out of your mouth and moves back around to where Grayson is. 

“Move.” He demands, feet planted firmly as to assert his dominance over the younger man as he unbuttons and takes off his button up shirt. Grayson heeds what he says and moves to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue. 

“Do you want my cock in you, dirty little girl? You want me to fill you up, huh?” Adam asks, rubbing his tip up and down your folds to tease you before you answer. You pull away from Grayson’s kiss as he moves down your neck, gripping your hair tightly before moving his other hand to grip your neck. 

“Y-yes please sir. Please.” You are almost crying at how desperate you are to be filled, pleading eyes looking directly into Adam’s. He smiles at your begging and plunges all the way into you, making you shout out in a mix of pleasure and pain. Grayson comforts you, leaving soft caresses all down your body. He even tries to rub your clit when your hips buck up but Adam smacks his hand away, instead pressing his forearm against your hips to force them to stay down. 

“You say you’re experienced but don’t even know not to let her be such a greedy little bitch? Yeah okay.” Adam snarks, Grayson simply ignoring him and standing up so you could suck him off like you had done to Adam earlier. You open your mouth and take Grayson in as Adam pounds away into you in a way so good you can’t even begin to explain. Your legs are shaking with each pump he takes in and out before you finally are about to release around him. 

“You need to ask my permission to cum, baby. If you want it you need to beg it’s not just gonna be that easy.” Adam’s previously stern voice turned a bit sweeter at these orders, knowing it would be difficult for you to keep everything in considering how hard and fast he was going. You pull away from Grayson and he continues to stroke himself next to you.  

“Please Adam please let me come. Please I’ll do anything. Anything.” The last word comes out as nothing but a whine as you clench around him. 

“C’mon kitten. Cum for me. Cum around my cock.” He only goes harder and faster as he says it, both men now being close to finishing. Grayson soon finishes, his liquids landing across your chest and seeing him is what sets you off. You cum around Adam, your walls clamping down around him so hard that he cums as well. He pushes all the way into you to keep all the juices, both yours and his, all inside of you before pulling out slowly so as to not let anything fall to the floor. Grayson steps to the side, taking off his shirt and using it to wipe his cum from your chest before Adam moves to your face, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. He pinches your cheeks so that your mouth opens and spits straight into it, showing Grayson who really has control. You swallow what he just gave you and moan, legs shaking from how hard you came. Grayson takes a look at the older man and just laughs, observing the destruction they both did to you. Adam smiles in return before grabbing you and making you sit up straight. 

“So, who’s it gonna be? Who’s the better fuck, princess?” The professor asks. 

You pause for a moment. 

“Can’t I just have both?”

[ghoulishhusband]

I just realized I can actually talk here. Like this is my account fuck u

Fucking uhhhhhh, hi ig lemme ramble abt my God ocs yea?

Ignore this part if you don't wanna hear (likely) unedited rambles lol it doesn't matter

CW: neglect/abuse, assholery/narcissism, manipulation, tread lightly!

read the under cut owo

Also don't steal my art I'll fucking?? Fight you????

So

I have three main gods that I wanna talk abt especially bc they've been on my mind lately.. Less get it, side notes are in (parentheses) and are bolded cause I have perception issues whoo I don't want it to jumble together is my point lol

First up is my asshole,

Giodine

they/them (preferred)

god/godself (i like pronouns that fit my characters, so I'm giving a bunch away for one night only at--)

ID : Giodine is colored with gold-ish yellow skin and ginger hair. Their eyes are a muted purple and they have tiny eyebrows. Their lips are a muted brown and are full looking, their nose is sharp and points down. They have wings for ears and is wearing a blazer with a long-sleeved, collared shirt underneath it. The background is beige with a yellow square and a dark purple square partially encompassing it. It is signed GH (for ghoulish husband), Spork, 21.

(lemme know if that helps at all! I'm sure I can do better so lemme know!)

If they look weird here it's bc I accidentally made their face too long but believe it or not this is in fact just a doodle Ik I'm so fuckin talented babes.

Anyways, they're basically the first God to ever exist on my version of earth (though even that is fickle rn, world-building is hard unless I hyper-focus on it, and haha Guess What I Haven't Been Thinking About) and they're very egotistical and selfish. As I'll probably yap about later is how they're manipulative as well, especially to another God I'll mention, and very neglectful to the other... other one.

Their partner(professionally), or fiend as they call him, is sam who for the first few eons was, unsurprisingly, absolutely terrible to him. A few tender moments are few and far in between in what could only be described as a completely rancid relationship. I'll describe giodine's side and in sam's lil ramble, I'll describe his :]

I have to explain this because it's a big part of the lore and how they can't work together, even when one of them is very much near The Void (technical death for gods) BUT basically, with Sam, giodine created purgatory. The issue here is that they basically seduced sam into doing it. Well, even if they hadn't, sam was in lesbians(happy pride month lmao) with giodine and would've done it anyway. But the ISSUE is that with the creation of purgatory came complications. See, my gods have to take time to develop into their power, and considering giodine was first and sam was around 666th.. you see the issue. Sam wasn't into his complete power yet and thus lost a giant part of it that went into purg.

See, giodine saw no problem with this (until much later, they do get a VERY SLOW BURN redemption arc cause this ain't even the worst of it), they got what they were aching for out of them and thusly had no need for..sam. They laid him in the spot where she was made (fwi it isn't inherently sexual, it can be, but literally, they just merged together-- taking bits and pieces of each other (which sam did not have enough of) and earth and light yadda, yadda I'll post the story I wrote for that later if I'm up to it) and left him there in the grass.

Again, they saw no problem with that, the deed was done, they didn't care anymore. A common issue in their qualms, sam and Giodine. They did find an issue in Sam finding an issue in the lack of aftercare, which resorted to any message going to or coming from sam going straight to his assistant and going back through them for a couple of thousand years. They found that infuriating-- how could he not face them over something so small! and for years?! it was ridiculous. After forcing a face-to-face meeting, a heated proclaim of hurt from sam, and a bitter agreement to meet up every now and again, they got what they wanted from him. Again. It was a business after all, there was no point in making it harder than it needed to be. 

Giodine doesn't necessarily like boundaries and tends to overstep sam's frequently. They also don't like his reaction to his boundaries being long jumped over, which thusly ends up in disgruntled messages being sent back and forth between them and his assistant for a month or three. It slowly gets through to them, but they tend to say some stupid shit and if they want sam to stay, they have to try and avoid mentioning how "overly sensitive" he is to something that happened eons ago.

(quick mention, there isn't like. time. here. so in all honesty, giodine probably counted earth days instead of Heaven 'days' to get that) Soon into their arrangements to meet, they seem to get on at least tolerable terms, obviously, a few meetings where neither of them feels like going apeshit and taking proper shapeless (or in sams case, he's got a newfound form for ANGER OO just for giodine 🤗) forms isn't going to fix a grudge that has yet to be apologized for by the way. But it's a start to a very long process down the road. Tolerance.

Giodine as an entity is very fickle and rude and demanding. They tend to have a short temper that no one else is allowed to have or comment on-- They were the first therefore they were the most important!

This is very obviously an issue. But it's mostly directed to purgatory. Almost all of their seething rage is pointed towards the poor entity, she's barely been alive yet and they already seem to hate her for things she doesn't know how to do. Honestly, I don't think Purg will ever fully forgive them for the unnecessary abuse of her character, but just as Sam and Giodine get on better terms, they had barely just begun fixing the hole in their relationship. As of now, Sam/Giodine don't have any minor plot points with purgatory other than the major one so I don't have a lot to say about their relationship right now. Maybe one day.

I'd go into details, seriously, but I just wanna ramble about their relationships with each other and their impact on each other's existence. Hope you don't mind a few secrets 😉

But, now, it's time for a new God, one I think most people take a liking to...

Sam (Samuel)

He/him

ID: Sam is surrounded by clouds in the light blue, fading to a darker blue sky and the yellow sun. His horns are a darker beige, which is being highlighted by the sun shining down on him, he also has pointed ears. His skin is red which is very prominent in the sun. His eyes are completely yellow, his hair, beard and mustache are also black. He has an orange scar crawling up to his Adams apple. His wings are a darker grey which is also being highlighted by the sun. His nails are painted black and his hand is holding up the black fabric barely covering his shoulders. Around the painting is a gold and red shaded frame with swirls complimenting each side and a crystal at the bottom of it. It is lightly signed GH, for ghoulish husband.

Sam, Sam, Samuel.

If you don't realize right away, Sam is basically Satan, he's the ruler of hell

Like how giodine was the first to appear on earth, as mentioned before sam was 666th for funnie reasons. Sam was made from bugs, dried blood, and sunlight which sounds pretty gross, but he's far from it. He's a silly, yet neat, guy. He wears Hawaiian shirts and khakis (not around giodine lmao) for cryin' out loud! how bad of a person can he be? Apparently to giodine (for a while obviously) he was the most retched entity to exist. This very much hurt him considering the amount of fake care they showed him before. With a mixture of confusing feelings (which wasn't supposed to be a thing but Univerce went "lmao you'll be fine" and left... short explanation, Univerce is the Universe and is the entity who simply builds these planets and gods that'll appear there and leave them to their own devices, xyr not extremely important in this story. Nor would they care.) and feeling used, he decided that no he wasn't going to take that.

If there is one thing Sam knows how to do is to self preserve himself, even if that means getting passive-aggressive notes sent to him every once in a while. While this period, Sam was surprisingly the least productive (unfortunately giodine knew this and eventually mentioned it in one of their meetings which made him hide away cause like hell giodine was going to be critical of /him/) but he managed. It wasn't terrible, but unfortunately, Sam being able to talk it out with someone who does practically the same work as he does and gets newer, more helpful ideas was better in the long run.

Unsurprisingly, Sam was the first to initiate the healing of his and giodine's relationship but it wasn't reciprocated. Who would've figured, aye? Giodine kept pushing it back onto him and ignoring any progress that could've been made before. Which was frustrating.

The painting above was 'painted' by giodine, which is sorta where their relationship gets somewhat on an understanding of each other. Giodine gets to take a deep long look into who Sam is and tries to express it but it never fit him, it makes them realize that they never really-- truly got to know him. And all it does for Sam is make him even more confused about his place in giodine’s mind. He figured it's another fluke to get him to do something, so he ends up distancing himself when they start actually reciprocating his friendship advancements.

Suddenly, like a flash, Sam was forced to stay with giodine which is where the majority. I'll explain.

Sam...isn't actually the ruler of hell. Anymore, anyways depending on the timeline. His and purgatory's relationship has always been complicated, she always avoided him, and when they talked she always seemed scared of him. So in the end, they've never been close. Distant. Sam always wanted to talk to her, he made her, but if she didn't want to talk to him he wouldn't force it. But imagine his surprise as Purg singlehandedly took over hell in a hazed frenzy.

And not only that, had a personal vendetta against him!

Well, that would be the only explanation to Sam considering how he ended up broken and barely 'alive' at the hands of her. Horns broken and in tatters, pain and almost obliterated it felt like a hate crime. He didn't know what to do when he made it to the office, Purgatory was creating chaos outside his door and barely being able to breathe he felt like it was the end. So he called giodine. 

Purgatory

She/her

ID: Purgatory is surrounded by flowers that are dark grey and white. The light fades down into a dark green. The light shines down on top of her straight, white hair that has yellow flowers tucked into it.  Her skin is a dark brown and has a orange-ish yellow scar on her shoulder trailing up to her neck. Her skin is also highlighted by the sun. In one of her eyes, her sclera is black with an orangey, glowing iris. As for the other eye it it has a white sclera and the same, glowing orange iris. She has wings for ears, one dark grey and one white along with beige horns. She has a white fabric covering her chest. The frame is gold with white accents, but also has vines and moss crawling up the side. 

(may have goofed a bit and forgot to color the sclera of her other eye white but ignore that pls)

Purgatory was made by Sam and Giodine, but to her it felt like a mistake. Why make someone that you’re going to be terrible to, she believed. Giodine seemed to hate her and eventually made her section almost obsolete because she simply wasn’t able to keep up with the backlog that she wasn’t taught to deal with. Not only that, she didn’t have any help with any of it, it was almost like she was expected to just do it on her own. Until Death came along to help, but that’s not what we’re going to be talking about right now. 

And also, Purgatory is Purgatory yadda, yadda, I wont insult your intelligence.

Giodine’s thought process (other than wanting to be Real Close to Sam and once that thought filtered out, promptly ignored it) was that all the extras that don’t fit in either category of their thought of good and evil they’d go to her. (doesn’t matter cause in Sam's system it filters through ‘levels of assholery’ and depending on how bad you are you either just vibe in the upper city under rule of capitalism and possibly many under paying jobs or being actually tortured for his amusement if you’re just evil. Morally grey. Anyway, it could work p well in heaven if giodine wasn’t such a damn stickler.) But in the end, every day, less and less people ended up in purgatory, leaving her with barely any people and more verbal abuse from giodine who ‘HAS to take them or they would be more dead than they already are’. You see the pain she has to go through, right? 

~Idea section, this is probably not canon anyways so dont take it serious~ 

My thought is that another oc (BA, you may have heard of him idk) takes over simply because Purg took multiple hims from alternative timelines (which isn’t allowed but what’re they gonna do, undead a dead clown? multiple times from multiple timelines???)) because she adored him and they figured ‘well we gotta redo purgatory may as well do it like this’ and make him a demi-dead-god. i think thats a cool idea right? anyhoo

~Idea section over uwu~

Purgatory overall is a fairly timid character, she doesn’t like conflict, is easily overwhelmed, and generally keeps to herself. She doesn’t see the point in being in any drama if she’s just going to be yelled at and scolded even if it’s not about her. The only way i could describe her taking over hell is this: 

She was tired. She was angry and after feeling like nothing was in control or in her hands, she snapped. Why doesn’t she get anything or get to be ‘all powerful’ but they do? She knew if she took on Giodine she’d likely get thrown to the void, but sam? He felt fair game. Considering her fear of both of these gods, she planned and got her courage up to take him over. She had considered negotiations but in the end, she ended up going into a haze and ruining everything in sight. She was more powerful than she thought and once she started, she didn't stop until Death restrained her and Sam was already in pieces at God’s doorstep. 

The aftermath was fuzzy for her and for everyone really. Godine was planning a take back hell while actually worrying for sam, sam was planning for a retirement, and she was being consoled while trying to get in contact with sam to apologize. Giodine wouldn’t dare let her talk to him, until she just showed up in their office. She didn’t have a problem with Sam, honest, she just was going to take shit over, but it got out of control. 

Spoiler, Sam took her apology and they actually became.. somewhat closer after reaching an understanding. 

I wanna say that giodine took them being okay and sam retiring as good as sam did about purg running hell, but they didn’t. Giodine and purgatory actually barely got along in the first place, and only begun ‘working’ on their bitterness toward each other because they both had sam to encourage it. I can’t say for certain if they’ll get better, as theyre both undying and have time, but I’ll just say for now its uncertain. 

Also, Death is Purgatory’s girlfriend after all of that lmao.

And.. yeah, i hope this makes sense and that you like my drawings and ramblings about my lil story in my head, i guess this is my way to develop it without just keeping it to myself cause god forbid i keep things to myself hshsh. If you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read and attempting to process everything, and even if you didnt read and just looked to look at my art thank you to!!

I may post some art over on @ghoulishhusbandart cause.. it was my art account before i completely forgot about it but i might reboot it! But if you wan art NEOWWW follow me on insta (ik cringe lmaoo) by the same name as this account @ghoulishhusband​ or just click that insta link! also ignore the fact that giodine is the only one without a portrait, maybe I’ll replace it the next time i draw but im graduating on monday and my dad’s coming TOMORROW?? so i won’t have too much time to do it... but i hope you like my art anyways :]

ok!! ty!! ily!!

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.��� bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

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Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

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William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.