#bc who am i without my hyperfixation

[pixielle]

///

[tatumsversion13]

felt my stuilly obsession fading a little (mostly because i was busy with the eras tour ending) and now it came back stronger than before. this is how you know the hyperfixation is real and there to stay, each time you feel yourself lose interest it comes back like a boomerang

[maraczeks]

+

[alyimoss]

anyone else only just learning to consume media in a normal way? i used to get so confused when id recommend shows and such to people and ask abt it the next day and theyd say like "oh yeah ive only gotten thru the first two episodes so far haha" or smthn like that bc if i was watching smthn it was in like 6 hrs stretches. i could polish off whole seasons in one day. looking back perhaps i shouldve like. looked into hobbies

[kyri45]

✨ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU Q&A ✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: sometimes when im bored i just go to your profile to position your pfp to siffrin's hands so it looks like they're holding you

I feel threatened bc if Siffrin would know what I'm making them pass through with the next comic updates he would crush me insteantly with a fist.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Damn Siffrin is dying and no one will ever remember them. 😔 Oh Loo~ooop!

Loop coming to save the day even tough they aren't paid enough for this shit

Anonimo Siffrin isn't aware of the hole in the wall you can go through for those two statues without having to get pelted by rocks smh my head. (said jokingly) ((Love your comic btw!! Thank you for this AU, I love it))

THE

WHAT?

YOU CAN GO THROUGH A WALL TO GET THEM WITHOUT RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE?????

Anonimo My reaction to this chapter of ISAT COTL CROSSOVER AU (10/9/2024) GO BBG YOU GOT THIS IN THE BAG!! OH YOU DO NOT GOT THIS IN THE BAG.. oh now you're out of the bag oh god ruh roh

Oh yeah he does NOT have this.

Anonimo pst hey hey are you gonna pose the statues, it would be funny i swear totally not more heartbreaking for siffr- WAIT HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO THE FACT YOU CAN BARELY SAVE ALL OF THE STATUES WHEN YOU REACH THE FOREVER STORM PART-

he has enough memories that he should recover a good amount of statues. It's not a matter of wheter or not he can save everyone, but mostly themself....

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hey so I cannot believe I am so late to see your ISAT and Sky AU because I love!! Both of them!! So much!! And I just wanted to thank you for making it and sharing it with us because it’s really cool! And both fandoms need more attention imo <333 @ucorpwhalingyaoi ha chiesto: I know NOTHING about cotl but my god your isat au of it has made me want to play it so bad 💔 (very /pos…) @primrosechronicles ha chiesto: HEYYYY ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE SENT AN ASK!! Ive been silently reading the isat comic since my last ask and im very very proud of you for making this far!!! mwahh!!! Thank you for inspiring me to play sky again, cuz if not i wouldn't have able to meet my sky friends Anonimo ha chiesto: first of all, I came here from the shadowpeach au but your comics dragged my ass to the ISAT fandom second of all, HOW DARE YOU PLAYED WITH MY HAPPINESS LIKE THAT (love your art and story telling, I wanna eat it like a fancy dinner) @prince0fghosty ha chiesto: It's been hard for me to find Sky: Children of the Light content anywhere! I found you through a friend and not only are you interested in Sky but also Lego Monkie Kid this is truly the best day ever!!! I got back into the game because of you. I like to help moths out in Eden @phoenix-is-here ha chiesto: You are the person who introduced me to the ISAT fandom and I gotta say thank you for that. That's one of the best games I've ever played and I would have never known about it without stumbling onto your account first (because of a strong hyperfixation on a show about monkeys ofc) so.. Accept this virtual cookie and glass of milk as a gift : 🍪 Anonimo ha chiesto: I followed for the shadowpeach, stayed for Sky CotL, keep cookin

HIII!!! AND TYSM!!!!!

@elianaroselight ha chiesto: This feels a little silly, but what is ISAT? I read through your ISAT Sky AU comic and I feel like I am missing half of the story. I love what I'm seeing so far and want more, but I also don't know or completely understand who the characters are and why I should care about them (more than I do already at least). Sorry if this is silly. I just want to understand.

ISAT is short for "In Stars And Time". It's an RPG game made by @insertdisc5. ABsolutely go check it out otherwise you wont understand a thing about the characters of the AU!

when i was reading the most recent page of the In Skies and Time™️ comic I had the most hilarious image in my head of just a bunch of sky kids smacking down on the same area and making this. sky kid pileup????? [since it seems liek theyre all gonna come back like that..] it was super funny to imagine 30 CAR PILEUP 🔥🔥🔥

AWWW SKY KID MOUNTAIN!! Lol probably it would happen? Like when you do Eden just after reset and when you get reborn there's like 7 other players clipped in you rebirth animation in the aviary /home space

Anonimo ha chiesto: Awwwww Bonnie was so excited 😢

poor Bonnie they will get their comfort moment eventually

@sohrleas ha chiesto: YOU YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I got Sky 'cause I saw your isat sky au and got super curious about the game Your art is beautiful and I love it 💚💚💚

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: HOPEFUL STEWARD WOOOOO-

IT'S MY BOY!!

@o0mochacoffee0o This isn’t related to you Bio dad AU Like my usuals- I just saw in your abut that you like CotL! Now you share two of my interests!! I’m curious to know your favorite parts of the game, if you have any ships, head canons, etc!! I always love listening to people’s opinions on things I love!

About Scotl? I don't have any specific headcanon, but I do ship Moments Guide and Reassuring Ranges. The only thing that I crave for that game is MORE LORE GODDAMN IT

Anonimo ha chiesto: When I said the fun was dying. I did not expected this. I'M SCREAMING AND PUNCHING THE BED NOOOOOOOOOOOO SIFFF

*sips coffee* welcome to hell (literally)

Anonimo ha chiesto: "is that thing a sadness?!" sweet summer child that thing is a menace of death

It absolutely is

Anonimo ha chiesto: Poor Siffrin’s gotta be absolutely TERRIFIED Big scary beast thing spotted them AND suddenly getting bathed in the color they associate with bad stuff? I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t be quaking in their boots.

He is in desperate need of comfort that wont come in like- a irl month I think

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know you won’t be doing the golden wastelands but… Once the party discovers that the groundwater has the same effect as the forest rain, Isabeau decides to bridal carry Siffrin the whole way. Leaving Siffrin a blushy mess. Also, almost if not everyone is scared shitless of the Dark Dragons/Krill (totally not projecting)

ooooohh that is soooo cute i'm dying!!!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: THE FAKE ACT 4 LOOKING SMILE . THE ACT 5 EDEN MOMENT. THE PARTY BEING SENT BACK . DIES "oh yeah if I still have energy I can loop back" ← me when I'm lying

@starlight-and-clockwork ha chiesto: bawling and kicking and screaming and pulling my hair out THAT PANEL OF SIFFRIN ASKING HIS FAMILY TO REMEMBER HIM WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND CAUSE ME MUCH PAIN THANK U<3

@aro-aces-world ha chiesto: I just caught up with ISAT sky au Fuck you /affectionate

Thank you! Be ready to be even more destroyed by the following updates!

@cherryblossomventi ha chiesto: I’m gonna go feral, Sif did that because he knows he can kinda come back from this with the shooting star thing Im guessing but the others cant/might not because they aren’t from this land,,, oh buddy why didn’t you tell them stop being cryptic idiot

Sif doesn't really remember that he can be reborn like in Sky. He knows only that, if he can reach the light right at the base of the cataclysm, then maybe he can return as well.

[starryeyedstray]

sorry i disappeared without notice. i went outside to touch some grass. take this rk1k drawing over a picture of some sakura i saw last week as an apology.

been away bc my partner came home for a week so i was spending time with them before they go out to sea again (hard cut to me looking wistfully out the window). also been trying to get some irl housekeeping stuff that i've been ignoring (i swear it doesn't matter what country you live in, dealing with car registrations and taxes is always a bureaucratic nightmare). also also i may have unlocked a new hyperfixation which captivated me for like 3 days but i think i have wrangled it under control (pls don't ask about it lmao).

i have a real all-or-nothing sort of personality so it's difficult for me to casually engage with things. so if i don't have time to engage in things for a long bit of time my brain is like you are not allowed to even touch this until you can fully commit to it again. which is kinda problematic and leads me to ignoring anything related to the thing until i have "time".

so completely went cold turkey on dbh-related platforms bc my brain was like if you check it a little you have to catch up on all of it at the same time. which is like no i don't have to do that silly little brain. but alas, i could not fight my brain so i completely ignored discord and tumblr and ao3 for a bit.

but i think i'm mostly back now????? idk we'll see how things progress. i'm trying to get my life back to a more balanced lifestyle so i am less chronically online but still have time to keep up with moots and do the art and writing thing. i missed everyone so happy to be back!!

i forgot how fucking happy i get drawing rk1k. like i love drawing these two android boys just being in love. i was giggling imagining them going out on a date to see sakura together. i focused less on my sketch/draftmanship and more on the colors this time and am happy with how well they match the background. not my best drawing of them but i'm trying to be less precious with my drawings bc everything lately just gets stuck in wip hell. overall, happy with it tho!!!

for those of you who care about things like this, the background is a photo i took while visiting hadano in the kanagawa prefecture! this road specifically is part of はだの桜みち or "hadano's cherry blossom road." it was pretty driving through it and walking around town even though it was cold and cloudy. (i swear it was raining all of sakura season)

[dindjarindiaries]

rewatched mando s3 and logically i know bo-katan getting the darksaber back was the obvious, easier and more logical choice writing-wise but fuck it im still so torn bc

1) there's something ironically poetic about a legendary symbol of power and authority ending up in the hands of someone like din, who doesnt really want any of those things and therefore cannot be ruled by the importance and influence that the saber carries [effectively ending the long cycle of past conflict, corruption and war that it was often used for as well]

2) it would've been even more meaningful if bo-katan actually managed to unite all mandalorians without taking possession of the saber. if part of her "walking both ways" arc involved her letting go and realizing that she doesnt need a mere weapon to define her worth and ability to be the rightful ruler of her planet and her people

but those are my most rational thoughts about the subject. now the slightly irrational side of my brain says:

3) if bo really had to have something to secure her claim as the mand'alor then they could've maxxed out that cg budget, tweaked the plot a bit and have her go down the waters to tame the mythosaur and ride it into battle during the finale. cant think of anything better to convince all mandalorians that she was their true leader. and i guarantee it would've been cool as shit if she sorta just went "you can have that stupid sword i got a flippin DINOSAUR" and then used it to squash moff gideon to death in the boss fight idk

and last but not least

3) din just looks sexier and cooler with the darksaber im sorry. like have you seen the way that thing matches and fits perfectly with his aesthetic and armor?? and just the thought of how badass he would've looked if he actually learned to wield it?? lord jesus have mercy on my dark soul *tires screeching, cars crashing, people screaming, feral inhuman noises RAAAAAHHH*

anyways sorry for the ramble, i have no one to talk to and these are the newest late night thoughts plaguing my brain courtesy of my reignited din djarin hyperfixation so dont mind me, thank you and goodnight

No because you're so right! My problem with season 3 isn't really Bo-Katan at all. Yes, I do mourn the missed potential of Din perhaps coming into his own as a leader, but let's be honest... he wouldn't want that, and I don't think we would want that in the long run, either. It would turn his story into something completely different.

The problem really did rest with the Darksaber. It just... wasn't handled well at all, like you said. Making Bo continue to use the Darksaber as a justification to untie the Mandalorians and rule was disappointing, because this was a chance to have Bo prove her worth to her fellow Mandalorians with something other than a weapon that would end up being destroyed in the finale anyway.

As for Din, you're so RIIIIIGHT. He ATE THE DARKSABER UPPPPP. And we didn't get nearly enough of him actually using it WELL! It's still such a disappointment, and it's even more disappointing that they seemed to feel that he needed to be dumbed down a bit (in terms of his own capability/fighting skills) to uplift other characters, including Grogu.

I agree with the direction of the story overall as far as Bo-Katan is concerned, but I heavily disagree with the decisions surrounding Din's character. I am happy about where we ended up, though. Ultimately, Din's new path suits him. It's the same path he probably would have taken at the end of season 2 had Grogu not gone with Luke.

[just-some-sorta-person]

Can I ask, who are your top 7 favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc (can be canon or non-canon) and your top 10 favorite characters ever from any media? Why do you love them all? Thanks if you want to answer....

Sure!

Ships (in rough order)

Nagireo from Blue Lock

my current obsession, going on strong for like more than a year by now. Also the first ship where I actually interacted with fandom meaningfully for a prolonged people of time instead of mostly ghosting. They’re really special to me! I think something I like about them is how core their relationship is to their story, and exploring their characters. It makes fan content and AUs really interesting and fun. In my opinion, a lot of their issues would still exist without blue lock, and they’d have to work them out in any setting, and I think that’s neat.

Satosugu From Jujutsu Kaisen

my past obsession, I spent a great deal of time with them as well before moving on to nagireo. Something I think of when it comes to stsg is the idea of an unfulfilled love that’s not lesser or weaker by virtue of being unfulfilled. I really like the idea that Gojo’s last words to geto were “I love you”, said for the first time at the end for this reason. Well, I am an angst enjoyer. I also enjoy the concept of love not being enough. Gojo and Geto’s individual relationship to power and agency is pretty cool to dive into too, the roles they had to fill in society and such. Their diverging paths. A good ship can’t be made with bad/uninteresting characters after all and I like all the character study fics out there.

those're kinda the two big ones.

Yuudai X Taisei from Sakana

Read sakana here right this moment its very special to me

Ah yes the awkwardness of drunk kissing your coworkers bestie that you're certain is way too good for you. I love love love them so much. They're just very comforting to me. Anxious eel and silly octopus (all of the cast of characters have assigned aquatic organisms). The comic as a whole deals a lot with anxiety, which is really cathartic, but I think in general its really nice seeing Yuudai opening up to people. I also like Yuudai's pessimism and skittery abrasive personality being balanced out by Taisei's optimism and cheerfulness. They also just make for some funny interactions that I've really liked reading heheh

Vanoe from Vanitas no Carte-

It’s the great gatsby vibes, the sunshine character and the deeply traumatized character who doesn’t see themselves as lovable, etc. I really love them and may or may not have made a slide deck presentation on Vanitas no carte for powerpoint night with my friends and 1/3 of it was centered around them.

Ludovica X Luck from Tiger Tiger-

Since this isn't an anime/is probably more obscure, here's the link to Tiger Tiger! Independently published by the artist and free to read, though you can also buy the first book to read in bookstores and such. I genuinely recommend it so much.

Ludovica and Luck are just so funny together, I love them so much. It's an eldritch doomsday god and the hyperfixated-on-sea-sponges mad scientist said being wants to impress. what is there not to like? its chaos x chaos but 2 different flavors. Also the source material is great, and very queer. #stealing your brother's ship to study sea sponges and getting caught up in doomsday. Also him and his 2nd mate are in love but dont realize bc reasons. Its great.

Bachirin from Blue Lock-

grumpy x sunshine always gets me. Plus their parallels and the whole loneliness thing. It’s a great ship- though what really sold me was reading fics like The Sun Will Come up. They really have so much potential.

Kide X Coel from Project Novos

another comic free to read here except this one has.. been on hiatus since 2022.. cries. I think the author has mentioned getting back to it though. Project Novos fulfills my childhood friends to enemies that dont actually hate each other to lovers dreams. The plot follows a government conspiracy and uprising but the story centers around Coel and Kide's relationship, which I do expect to be carried out romantically despite not being explicit so far (in part because it is not a mainstream manga).

This too, also follows the more optimistic character x a more pessimistic traumatized character trope... I have a type ok

... the ship list kinda turned into a bit of a rec list, but with some exceptions, my enjoyment of a relationship tends to do a lot with my enjoyment of the story its in unless I get fixated so...

hmm other ships ive liked... narumi x hirotaka from wotakoi.. hualian from tgcf, bingqui from svsss.... wait actually, there's too many lets move on.

Characters

Let's limit it to one character per show/series/etc to make this easier and avoid me just being like "the whole cast of sakana" or "the whole cast of tiger tiger" or "These characters from Dungeonmeshi..." too many options...

this is in no particular order. Also you might notice a lot of these characters come from the ships above

Yuudai Tanaka from Sakana

I like seeing characters suffer from anxiety, especially in a more ugly way, because I suffer from anxiety, and while I'm a lot nicer than Yuudai, I get frustrated when anxiety is portrayed in a way that may seem "cute" because it really doesn't feel "cute" hahaha. I mean, being anxious can mean being shy sometimes, which I can understand finding cute, but it can also mean being avoidant, skittish, or less friendly.

Ludovica Bonnaire from Tiger Tiger

She's chaotic, she's sweet, she's adorable, she's remarkably intelligent, she's fixated on sea sponges and wants to learn more about them! I really love Ludovica. She feels really refreshing as a character- a woman of science who's bubbly, excitable, and chaotic. She's kind of naive, but not at all dumb or incompetent. She falls into the mad scientist category without it defining her character. She doesn't let anything stop her but isn't somehow perfect, and she's incredibly funny. She's just great!

Nagi Seishiro from Blue Lock

Just.. look at him. he has a cactus, that's like plus 20 points

I have a soft spot for characters that are more subtly lacking in life and struggling, but aren't conscious of it. Also characters that discover that there's more to life than they first thought. Nagi seems fine on the outside, but if you look at some of his habits, they're actually rather concerning - subsisting off jelly packets, thinking life is a pain, getting a cactus to practice talking to people because he hadn't TALKED in so long. One of the nicest/most meaningful things his parents said to him that made him happy being "Don't die".. I also enjoy his disconnect from other people, and how he doesn't really understand the world around him.

I also like the space he occupies within the blue lock canon as a “hidden path”, and the contrast he presents in comparison to the other characters. I think Nagi is made more interesting by being a side character to Blue Lock than if he was the true main character. Idk if that’s a controversial take to have about your fav haha but really I think being the main character of a spinoff is the best place he could be. His situationship with the most important person in his life that he met 6 months ago is great too.

Greed from Fullmetal Alchemist

I LOVE the concept of the friendship is magic character being greed itself. I like the idea of interpersonal love being related to greed. Greed is wanting things, and it is often villainized, but wanting things is the basis of so much more than what we usually associate with greed - and in fact, some of our deepest wants are related to love - in all the forms it takes. Anyways, Greed is very special to me.

Vanitas from Vanitas no Carte

I just love a character who hates themselves so much that they won't let themselves be loved, but they don't have a gloomy exterior to reflect that (making it harder to tell).

Geto Suguru from Jujutsu Kaisen

I think I just love a guy who put so much pressure on himself to torture himself doing the right thing that he crashed out and did all the bad things. I see it as kind of the downfalls of needing everything to be simple and solvable. Geto preserved his sense of control and the livability of his own life, at the expense of becoming a bad person. That's something to explore, to me.

Him being gay (for his bff) is also a plus

Hirotaka Nifuji from Wotakoi

I have a tendency to like characters I find relatable. I haven't watched Wotakoi in awhile but I remember really resonating with Hirotaka. Because I haven't rewatched in awhile it's kinda just a vibe rn tho haha I can't really explain it.. But maybe it has something to do with the muted/quieter way he tends to express himself, despite still having his own inner world.

Anya Forger from Spy Family

I don't really relate to Anya at all, and I don't have any complicated reasons for this. She's just a cutie patootie who deserves the world

Laios Touden from Dungeon meshi

I love Laios and its definitely because I find him relatable. His difficulty connecting with people, his fixation on monsters, his appreciation of food... And I really like how his difficulty connecting with people and him being a weirdo is paired with a genuine desire to connect with them, and do good, as well as leadership skill.

I wanna eat living armor too...

Mafuyu Sato from Given

Given actually got me through a really hard time at one point, so its really special to me. Mafuyu's journey in general is very special to me, especially as someone who has had trouble expressing/processing their feelings before too.

[julius-underscore-caesar]

Supernatural Journey

Without spoilers: y’all I just started watching Supernatural (S2 Ep 5). I’m an older sibling but why do I resonate more with Sam than Dean but then occasionally Dean’s protectiveness over Sam? Yeah, then I’m like yes, I like Dean more than Sam but I also still like Sam over Dean? Is it bc I have a twin 4min older and a younger sibling thus making me an older yet younger sibling?

Crisis. Somebody in the Supernatural community help?

Edit: abt to start s3 now, yeah I would have done what dean did

Edit 3/2/25: I just decided to turn this into a post abt my hyperfixation on the show.

Currently on S3 Ep 5. Sammy why? Sammy, u went to Stanny, learn from past errors.

3/11/25: Just finished S3 ep 12. Y’all I suck at communication too, but what the hell was that as in hell literally.

3/15/25: I started S4 a two days ago and now I’m on S4 Ep 7,. Conclusion: castiel needs two things: chapstick and a hairbrush and sam needs to fuck off.

3/23/25: met Jared Padalecki. Just read the post my dudes.

3/24/25: started S5 and now im somehow down a Good Omens/Spn armageddon fanfic rabbithole and this is before ive met other Crowley (yes I know other Crowley exists).

3/26/25: y’all just can’t let Sam get sober huh? And also Cas’s lack of personal space awareness is so funny to me bc Aziraphale is like polar opposite.

4/1/25: after a long day of lab work I binged 4 episodes of spn ended on 5:18 and I think I’m hopping on the destiel train and I don’t know whether or not I should be scared. Also dean is a mood and I almost cried bc I would actually do the same thing for my sis. (Also I’ve had like 5 min of air time of spn crowley and he would SO get along with GO crowley imo)

4/13/25

How the fuck am I almost done with S7? Seriously this is mildly concerning. I also have a Dean item and I love it. Okay breakdown:

Sam: Okay, you've redeemed yourself for the time-being, use your words

Dean: Use your words and you are way past binge-drinking, do you need an intervention?

Sam&Dean: USE YOUR FUCKING WORDS

Cas: NO.

Meg: Gurrrllllll

Garth: mood.

Crowley: tbh, mood, very forward thinking, but also... dude?

Bobby: BOBBY FUCKING SINGER YA IDJIT I LOVE YOU

Also 6x15 HAD ME CRYING BC I'M WATCHING THIS LESS THAN A MONTH AFTER MEETING JARED PADALECKI BRO IT WAS SO BAD

5/21/25

On S12x5 bc I definitely didn’t binge a little to take the edge off of finals week.

100% sure Mary clocked Destiel as gay the moment she saw them.

Crowley and Rowena are certified Girlbosses 🙌 (idk hate ‘em love ‘em idc, theyre both efficient at what they do).

Sam’s character arc is. Dying? Idk how to say it, it just feels so heavily dependent on Dean which is heavily dependent on Mary atm.

Man, I love Cas. He’s just so fr.

OH CONTROVERSIAL TAKE: DEAN AND THE DARKNESS WAS SOOOO UNECESSARY. LIKE NAH DUDE NAH.

What the fuck is up with the British Men of Letters. OFC UR GONNA BE MORE EFFICIENT UR TINY ASF.

AMERICA IS FUCKING MASSIVE.

They also did charlie so fucking dirty. Aw hell nah.

(Btw my tiktok feed is spn edits and idk how the fuck it got there bc it used to be cat videos? I recently learned Jensen Ackles can sing just like Tom Ellis and now I’m like please put those two in a room together and have them sing a duet I think I’d melt.)

5/28/25

Binging and crocheting, currently on 12x14, holy shit, I've been reading Dean whump, but watching Jensen act as Dean? Dean who needs his mother? Dean who's spent his whole fucking life taking care of Sammy as his number one priority only to just be betrayed by his mom by the BMOL who NEARLY KILLED SAM BY THE WAY?

Dean takes the cake when it comes to "eldest daughter syndrome". He wins. God he may be in his 30s in this season (idk how old they are, I think 37? Bc he was 25 in S1, so you add 12, and get 37 idk) but holy moly, he needs someone to take care of him.

AND OH MY GOD AM I MOVED BY THE ACTING.

One more thing 12x13 was unfair. The WInchesters are allowed to have family but Crowley and Rowena can't keep Gavin? Like ik they're all fucked up in their own way but I still think it isn't fair.

6/13/25

13x16: I MADE IT TO THE SCOOBYNATURAL EPISODE!! IT TOOK SOOO MUCH HARD WORK BC I'M IN SUMMER CLASSES RN AS WELL AS DOING AN EXEC TAKEOVER AS WELL AS STARTING AN EDIT ACCT AND ALSO FIGHTING TO WATCH SPN ATM BUT I DID IT. I LOVED IT IT WAS AMAZING. DEAN CUSSING? CAS BEING PAIRED WITH SHAGGY AND SCOOBY? VELMA KISSING SAM? PEAK! I LOVE IT!!

6/17/25

14x1:

OKAY LIVE UPDATE BC I'M CACKLING TF OUTTTT (AND YES I KNOW I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE BUT I CAN'T STOP REWATCHING THIS SCENE FOR ITS SUPREME INACCURACIES)

I just got to 14x1 and OMG FIRST MUSLIM SIDE CHARACTER SLAY? AND THE NETFLIX SUBTITLES CALLED OUR ATHAN (call to prayer) MUSIC. SO I'M ALREADY DYING BC WHOEVER THOUGHT THAT WAS MUSIC 😭

AND THEN! My guy starts praying. Alr good he starts properly and I'm like great #representation! AND THEN!

BRO JUST COMPLETELY MESSED IT UP! LIKE DUDE? WE GET ONE TIME REP AND?? BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT MADE ME LAUGH OKAY?

ITS BC DEAN JUST SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE THE DUDE (CONVENIENTLY NAMED JAMIL) WAS IN SUJOOD SPEAKING IN AN OVERLY ARAB ACCENT.

AND THEN JENSEN IS TRYNA SPEAK IN ARABIC/ QUOTE THE QURAN IN A PEAKY BLINDERS SUIT AND I CAN'T ITS KILLING ME.

LIKE WHAT. IK I SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING BC IT'S MY OWN RELIGION BUT SRSLY SOMEONE SEND HELP.

(I think it's the spontaneous deanification of the whole thing. Like why?? WHO DECIDED THIS WAS OKAY??)

7/3/23

14x18

I can’t believe that I’m almost done. I know I’m in for a world of hurt for s15, however, one thing:

I am glad Mary Winchester is dead. Like fuck her tbh. Lowkey useless to the plot besides starting the show…

Uhh, and I accidentally found out two VERY relevant things about Destiels deaths (bc ik they’re gonna happen just not how) THAT ARE REALLY REALLY RELEVANT TO MY FUCKING LIFE AND ITS PISSING ME OFF ATM.

So fuck me for accidentally reading a fanfic without checking that it was a fix-it fic 😭

Also… there’s something wrong about Jack…

[wetcatspellcaster]

Veilguard Thoughts

(my sort-of review, more of a ramble, below the cut in case of spoilers)

I had particularly low expectations for this game, as it felt to me like it was rushed out to try and hit the BG3 crowd and get them to pay £70 at the point where their hyperfixation was failing them. It felt like a very commercially-motivated decision, and I tried to modify my expectations accordingly.

I then started playing... and had to modify my expectations again.

But with two lowering of expectations completed... I genuinely enjoyed this game! I had fun! Sort of! if I squint!!

Thoughts!

I am not a competent gamer, so I like combat that feels fun and engaging without being challenging or a chore (cough, BG3 Act 3, cough), but without being lazy either. I played as a mage in Veilguard and I felt like this hit a sweet spot - moments where I was stressed kind-of invested, no moments when I was bored. The graphics for mage (for spellblade particularly) were awesome and badass, and I loved to new mode of engaging with the mage class in orb and dagger.

I understand the frustration with a lot of lore being retconned, ignored, or wilfully erased or moved away from. Some parts I understood: I do think Veilguard tries to make a move away from grimdark, not out of disloyalty to the franchise and it's roots, but bc grimdark is a very different prospect now than when Origins released. it's a genre that gets a lot more criticism and bad press, and that some people feel genuinely uncomfortable perpetuating as a results. While Origins is my favourite dragon age game, there's a lot of insane things you need to just let slide to enjoy it - like the fact that multiple origins begin with some kind of rape and sexual assault if you're playing as a woman. I don't think retconning that stuff is anything other than being politically savvy, and a little more sensitive to how fantasy has changed.

(I also think this is why they've moved away from the chantry conflict to be honest. Like the optics of Christian religions in fantasy has also changed, and let's be honest, Dragon Age had already fucked THAT, multiple times.)

I did however, like everyone, find it a bit disheartening to see how little Keep decisions mattered. Why is there no Keiran with Morrigan? why can't Mythal move to an inquisitor who drank the Well of Sorrows instead? why is my Inquisitor defending Solas when she ended the game hating him? Why is Hawke being in the Fade meaningless? I know this is just echoing what people have already said, but it was sad to see the 'conclusion' to the franchise (that probably isn't the end, let's be honest, not now that people paid £70 for an underwritten game) was even less satisfying in terms of choice and agency than ME3

This game deliberately skewed itself to read as a 'better DA2', than a 'worse, rushed inquistion'. IDK, it just makes me feel a bit grossed out, and manipulated. I mean, we know DA2 can be made in crunch, lads!!!!! :)))

Criticisms!

EVERYTHING is underwritten. The game is woefully short. If I can complete all the sidequests in a game, then something is wrong. The romances, the character arcs, the main quest, the dialogues. Everything was sparse, with the bare bones of a plot, that (in the case of companions quests) was rarely seen through to a full and satisfying conclusion. And I *know* that's not the writers fault, necessarily, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be done better.

There's so much potential, but I found that most of the companions could be boiled down to one or two traits, and while I can see people headcanoning reasons for this in real time, it's just... underwriting, or bad writing. Extremely telling to me that both Emmrich and Davrin were my favourite companions... because they had their own companions. That meant that they had multiple story hooks - their professions, their relationships, and then their little guys. They got three things, when most people only got two.

This was particularly egrerious for me with Taash, because they started out amazing, and I ended up being extremely disappointed as I watched both them and their mother being reduced down to flat one-dimension caricatures and a tired queer narrative of 'my parents hate me'. Only, this time, it's 'my immigrant parents hate me'. when you couple the reductive approach to Taash with bioware's inability to write the Qunari well or without falling into Orientalism??? they're suddenly an evil repressive queer phobic religion after being supportive of trans characters in inquisition???? you're telling me Shathann, a woman who was forced into a more feminine role by circumstance but considered herself more genderless/masculine as a scholar, wouldn't be on board with non-binary identity? just galling tbh.

The romances are underwritten. And they are badly written, to me. Luckily I know we'll have fic, but in Inquisition, each romance was 90 minutes worth of content. In Veilguard, Lucanis's romance is the longest... at 18 minutes. It just seems stupid and strange to me - if this game is chasing on BG3's coat-tails, why don't they know everyone is fucking horny?

While I liked the decision to give companions more banter together and flesh out their interpersonal relationships, I felt that the balance was off... probably bc it's cheaper to have two actors share a piece of scripted dialogue, than voice a decision tree. It meant that to me Rook often felt like a bystander in their own story, or excluded from their own found family. HR Manager-core, as it were.

General uselessness of the Lords of Fortune coupled with the Orientalism of the Lords of Fortune.... big sad.

I think the choice between Lace and Davrin is highly!!!! suspect!! do you go with fantasy racism (kill off the only dwarf, thus meaning all your dwarf companions are dead in the game, including the one who represented to future for her people) or the real racism (kill off the black man). I really wish this decision was more reactive, and perhaps based in faction strength or character bond, not just a pre-set choice.

I'll never care about solas, the way trick weekes wants me to care about solas. pretty dumb decision, to make a whole game contingent on this fact.

The ending and epilogue screens were underwhelming, and left the game feeling incomplete to me.

Joys!

To end on a more positive note...

everyone is hot. I honestly think everyone is hot. No other dragon age game had a cast of characters whom i all found attractive. This is unheard of. This is why I know all the fic will be fucking stellar.

And you know who else is hot? Rook. Genuinely one of my favourite DA protagonists! Maybe bc of the faction thing, or just the chemistry of the VA I chose. I just felt like she was pretty fucking hot tbh, and that more people in-game should be taking notice of it. Everyone should stop having conversations with each other and start desiring Rook carnally.

Weisshaupt was genuinely an amazing sequence and questline. In fact, I loved that this game featured Grey Wardens more heavily, and I loved all the lore about Wardens that was introduced.

Assan!! <3 Manfred!!! <3

Bellara and Neve kissing with tongue!!! No, I will not elaborate!!!

(I think that Bellara and Neve were two characters who did have strong stories, and that they should kiss about it.)

Elgarnan and Ghilanain.... never before has a dragon age game known what it's like to have a charismatic villain. This time, we got two. Ghilanain was my favourite, bc I'm fucking gay, but even interactions with Elgarnan and his boss battle felt engaging. I honestly don't think a dragon age game has ever had a good villain before, and these guys were both fucking cool.

[violet-ophelia-b]

~New pinned post!!!~

hi, I'm violet Ophelia boss, but just call me violet and, only for mutuals and friends, can call me Alex!

I'm 24 years old, and I work ( D:) at an animation studio as a writer. I sometimes doodle and draw something, but beware it's not that good...

I am genderfluid and pansexual, and I'm also transitioning in a few months, getting a peanits :)

Me also Italian... FRATELLI D'ITALIA- 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🇮🇹🇮🇹

Asks are highly encouraged, BUT NO HATE MESSAGES. I've seen enough on this blog and my other blogs.

I have interest in most mcyt stuff such as the life series, hermitcraft, bbhsmp (aka former 'dsmp'), Qsmp, lifesteal smp, realm smp and duckcraft smp. I also have interest in stobotnik, other content creators who don't play Minecraft (ranboo for example!), broppy (idk man the hyperfixation hit me somehow) from the trolls movies, project sekai, vocaloid and utaus and this kind of jam.

i am also @pumpkingduo-fanblog , I am a mod of the @fanblog-chaos and I am @alex-mcytandother obviously on Tumblr. You may see me in some streamers chat on twitch as druima!

~QUESTIONS~

>Why have you chosen this username? Because I liked this song from the Lumineers called "Ophelia" so I added it to my username. Oh and I was kinda young when I made it and I thought "boss" for a Mario kart username was kinda sick. And now it just embarrasses me...

>Weren't you and alex-mcytandother different people and roommates? What happened? Hooo boy. So, yes, they were my roommate and all, but they went in Spain to live a total new life. They know we have same name, and that after a few months I mastered perfectly their "style", so they gave me their blog to have fun with. we're still friends, but now I have the house all for me without someone waking me up in a mizuki cosplay (sorry al).

So yeah, now I'm them ig :)

>Favourite songs??

Karma by CircusP, fake heart by Kira, D/N/A Len cover by secretlyaduck, vampire English cover by Rachie, Bake no Hana by NAKISO... These are just a few :)

>Favorite artists in the communities you're in?

There are a lot, I don't have a fave 😭 but I recommend @/bc-jpeg, @/lanthart and @/shen-mu :)

>favorite character and/or ship?

PUMPKINGDUO. HIDEDUO. PANGKEY. PISSA. RRDSCAPE. STOBOTNIK. EMUNENE.

EMU FUCKING OTORI. QUACKITY. DERAPCHU. FITMC. SQUIDDO. MUMBO JUMBO. CUBFAN135. CERTAINLYLAZ.Whatever PICK ONEEEE-

>Do you have DNI s?

Yeah. DNI racists, homophobes, transphobic, trump and Elon supporters and this kind of jam. For me you can be even the worst freak to ever exist, as long as you aren't hurting anybody.

>Do you have mutual?

Ye :) I have @certainlylazfanblr aka @the-syndicate-system my husband pookie

There is Parent aka @hermitlife-fanblog there are siblings aka @tednivison-fanblog and @slimecicle-fanblog

There are frens and mutuals such as @kamisden @ktisis-collective @cao-tick @priimros3 @pompygirls @moss-moths-eyes-and-whimsy @reinagony @localfandom @streetcatexists @x-bee-x (sorry for tagging you it's ok if you don't see me as a mutual!)

(static Miku blinkies made by @lovesick-level-up ,the fujoshi/rotten girl blinkies by @lavandergalactic, @cheerisoda for the digital artist blinkie)

[dhampiravidi]

watching SPN 13x6 "Tombstone"

so I'm watching & commenting on this episode of Supernatural to celebrate Valentine's Day, since I've heard it's got some good Destiel moments. I stopped watching SPN at S10, but I know who Jack is.

that guy w/Dean's gonna die...yep.

CAS!!!

IDK Sam, you could always HUG Cas (who wouldn't?) Good, Dean.

"what's the Empty like?" props to Cas for not being a dick & making That Face ( -_- )

Yay! Hug your dad, Jack! 🥰

"I know what zombies are now!" & Jack ISN'T freaking out about the fact that he just resurrected Cas? Kid's adaptable, damn.

Dean's face going from "mhm sure" to "hmm" to "strangely" aroused/bashful when Cas meets his eyes?? you know he's thinking of Cas fucking him in a cowboy hat, right??

were any of those men in the hotel pictures in the Confederate army...? *suspicious*

I love how Sam is like "my weird brother's hyperfixation" while Jack is concerned & Cas is somewhere near "I wish I was still in the Empty" 😅

bruhhhh just get back in the car. No one's gonna fire you for leaving an empty truck where you found it (no, I cannot & will not be a cop)

aww, Dean's sleeping 🥰

"I thought angels were good" time to watch seasons 4 & 5, Jack--

"what's it like? Heaven?" WHITE. Next question-- *hugs Cas to block out the trauma of Naomi & Zachariah*

I shouldn't be laughing at Dean's reaction to being woken up (I've had...a few different reactions) but the way it was acted out 😂

:( Dean don't be RUDE, your husband just got back from Superhell. & you can't expect your kid to make you coffee

giggling bc Cas's trenchcoat reminds me of the Wild West more than Dean's bolo tie (don't tell them I said that)

ah, Kilmer. A very creative name. Great job--

VAL KILMER 💀

...is...Jensen's Texas accent creeping out? Or am I high on candy?

I couldn't wear headphones if I worked in a building ALL BY MYSELF--

is there a reason for the undertaker to wear lipstick if she works alone & wears a mask most of the time?

WASH YOUR HANDS, SAM! (grave dust bleh)

oh ok he's gonna dig around in the grave...*pulls out my moist towelettes*

??? so is Athena dating a ghost? Why hasn't he become a vengeful spirit yet?

uh...who's gonna...undertake if Athena's going to school? Just wondering. But good for her!

c'mon security guard, GET HIM FROM THE BACK--

*sigh* please don't turn into Carrie, Jack.

why did Jack's blood go from green to red?

"you have to heal him" if YOU can kill him, YOU should heal him--

"he's dead" yeah, there's a pool of blood under his head :/

"stop being a bitch" PUNCH HIM, GIRL! hide the $ for yourself & turn his ass IN--

Dean's "I don't wanna" so relatable 😭 time to be a gopher

wait...if Dean drove the Impala to the undertaker's, how are Sam, Jack & Cas getting home? When did they get 2 cars??

NOOOO Dean could've used the front door 😭

the way Jack directs each of those lines!! "each time I try & do good, people get hurt" to Dean who once had the Mark, "I thought I was getting better--I'm not" to Sam who was addicted to demon blood, "I don't know what I am" to Cas who's been a disloyal angel then a human then in-between--

"if I stay, I'll hurt you" bruh ya could've flown away without blasting the fuck out of everyone

yeah, so this was a sad episode. Many Jack moments. Not much Destiel. At least the gays got to hug.

[z0mb1epuzzy]

hii again (i sent the josh/chris with a nipple peircing request teehee, i absolutely LOVED what you did with it holyyy)

i was wondering about your thoughts on our characters with a size difference/kink? particularly with a shorter reader? (although mike with a taller reader actually makes me CRUMBLEEE because holy god, he'd be so whipped) also i apologize because none of my asks are likely to be completely gender neutral, i unconsciously write reader inserts as feminine unfortunately 😭

but in particular, mike and chris (chris hyperfixation been hitting hard because of you. it's all your fault, i say with heart eyes)

i wasnt positive if youd already done this, but i thought id ask just in casee

i imagine mike being cocky about it, but not too outwardly. he would more-so just tease you about it, but he makes sure to be gentle as well. hed think its just soooo cute when youre pressed up with your back against his chest, struggling to take just two of his fingers inside of you, you huffing a "fucking hell" in pitiful anger as you curse your genes under your breath, wanting him to just fuck you already. hed chuckle breathily into your neck, kissing the soft skin under your ear sweetly. "you know how this goes, hon. we need to get you all ready for me.. wouldnt want you to get hurt, now would we?"

chris, im a bit more uncertain how he would feel about it. i cant remember how tall he is off the top of my head, but he's taller than mike in game, isnt he? i feel like hes definitely used to people being noticeably shorter than him, almost all his friends are (if not all of them), so he's not usually very surprised when he encounters someone shorter than him. but then he meets you, standing at an almost sad 5'1", and he is WHIPPED. not even sexually, he just wants to hold you. you're like the perfect size for him to spoon and hold, and oh god- have in his lap. he would definitely, when hes sitting, pull you straight onto his thighs at any given moment - with absolutely no struggle, might i add. (i live for beefy!chris)

OMG, and do NOTTT even get me started on sex. he is basically using you to get off. after youve finally taken him inch by inch and gotten comfortable, as soon as he's close to finishing, he's gripping your hips, grinding and slamming you against him like his own personal fleshlight. he really didnt mean to be so rough. he apologizes for it after the fact, of course he does, because he really didnt mean to, you just felt so good and tight around him, and he just lost his resolve... i feel like hed forget his own strength sometimes? leaving bruises occasionally from accidentally gripping your hips too hard, or at least he gets close to it. hes just not used to having someone so much smaller than him. youre like a tiny teddy bear.

- 🙀

HELLO ANON OMG??? we’re gonna kiss rn bc… i am also a size kink enjoyer… i love me a big man!!!!! also it’s okay if ur asks aren’t gender neutral! i am afab myself so i totally get how u can lean a certain way without realizing!! i don’t mind :3

heehee now for the sauce i am so hype for this currently…

for this, i’m gonna focus on the smaller reader x bigger mike/chris, but if any tall babes want me to elaborate for them, i 100% can you beautiful gorgeous lengthy creatures you…

mike!! absolutely reads as a man who would (not subtly) have a size kink!!

if you’re shorter/smaller than him, it makes him feel so strong, definitely an ego boost.. watching you struggle to take him? your little hands on his body?? HELLO??!!?!!!

and even if you’re taller/bigger than mike, that’s a still a total ego boost if you let him dom you… watching someone who’s physically capable or possibly assertive totally crumble for him? LORT!

.

it’s so hot to me when a big ol man is so teasing about his physical advantage, but also gentle with you to make sure you’re okay… Mike is one of those guys, he’s a perfect mix of teasing and gentle, like his words make you expect he’s gonna be rough, but he genuinely does take care to not hurt you!! it’s cute to him when you get all whiny, his big hands on your body, one helping to stretch you a little… y’know, to make it a little more comfortable! it makes him wanna cave a little, hearing you beg sooo sweetly, but he’s gonna make you wait! it’s for your own good♥️

and chris.. drools..

chris wouldn’t realize he has a size kink necessarily.. it’s normal to like how big your hands look on your partner’s, isn’t it? doesn’t everyone feel a little extra riled up at the idea of their partner needing a lil extra foreplay to take them?

so he wouldn’t openly acknowledge it as a kink, but it absolutely is, without a doubt. just imagine… chris’s big hands squeezing your hips and thighs, basically throwing you around like a little ragdoll… bc i AGREE! chris is a strong guy who doesn’t recognize his strength sometimes, he’s just too eager to please!!?! his grip on your hips tighter than he intended, leaving little purple splotches where his fingertips had been before… UGHH!!

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[floridian-vigilante]

Hiii!!!! Would you be able to do some more headcanons about Wayne being autistic?? Specifically about sensory issues or literally anything else like that, my Wayne hyperfixation is eating me alive and finding someone (you) who also agrees that he’s autistic makes me want to explode with happiness!

helloo!!! um yes ALWAYS I love talking about autistic Wayne McCullough I love these request tytyty

ok so foreword: personally i do not have any major sensory issues that impact my life from day to day, i am awaree and relatively informed of the subject enough to have some headcanons and fact check them the best i can via the search engines but if any of this is like heinously implausible i apologise profusely and owe you like a sandwich or something

Wayne McCullough sensory issues headcanons herer we go

ok so

I think overall he's more hyposensitive than hypersensitive

specifically i think he's hyposensitive to olfactory, auditory and vestibular stimuli and a mix of hypo/hypersensitive to tactile stimuli and i will elaborate now

olfactory hyposensitivity is an under-responsiveness to smell so basically he does not experience that kind of stimuli in the same way or level as most do

it's why he smells things as like a way to interact with them its a sensory seeking thing

it also means he can't pick up on smells that are obvious for other people which normally isn't too inconvenient he does his hygiene things on a schedule anyway bc it's easier to remember

but it can get kind of annoying for del sometimes because he'll burn shit in the kitchen (once in a blue moon he's otherwise a very good cook) and he doesn't even KNOW that shit lingers

"...did you burn popcorn in the microwave again?"

"uh, yeah, how'd you know?"

auditory hyposensitivity basically the same thing but with sound

he's gotten into scuffles with neighbours for blasting music unreasonably loud at unreasonably early because he likes loud music but doesn't like the way headphones feel in or on his ears

yk those channels on your tv that are static and go HCGGCHSGJJKSKJAGFGJCBSK whenever you turn them on

as a little little kid like as a baby his parents would have him watch those to soothe him

and hey they TRIED with regular baby sensory programmes they had cable but he would cry and he would scream until they put his static back on and until they put it on (relatively) LOUD

it was more of a thing when he was little but he still doesn't respond to his name sometimes, particularly in a crowded environment to a voice he doesn't recognize

vestibular hyposensitivity basically the vestibular system has to do with balancing, movement, spatial awareness that kinda thing

clumsy as shit as a kid, has barely since recovered

several times he's started fights out by swinging and missing at a person and the initial embarrassment of the fuck up kind of works as good luck because it fuels him to win

and he does, every time,,

walks into walls

walks into tables, chairs

walks into people

you get it

when he was like 6 and being a little much and his dad needed a break he'd get him to see how many times he could spin around without getting dizzy

kept him entertained for a good half hour until he got distracted

and then tactile/touch stimuli is the only one he has trouble with really

this kinda goes for taste as well most of his hypersensitivities are with foods, but more often than not it's an issue he has with the texture

I touched on what i think some of his safe foods would be in my other autistic wayne hcs post but as for his foods that he absolutely cannot stand im gonna say

anything slimy or runny, any mushy fruit or vegetables, seafood, and apples (too cold and wet and weird against his teeth)

His main tactile trigger is around physical contact with other people but he is known to experience visceral repugnance towards an inanimate texture every once and a while

his dad tried sending him to a boy scouts thing when he was like 7

then on the first day he went into the backyard trying to find his son so he could actually get him to the darn place and had found little Wayne shirtless, lighter in hand, trying to burn his uniform because he didn't like the way it scratched

anyways physical contact is a weird one for him he's very conditional about it

like 90% of the time he hates it so much it's always such a shock to his system it feels BAD

but also it's like one of his top love languages

basically he hates unexpected touch 100% of the time, he hates touch from people he doesn't trust, and certain places on his body unless it's in a very specific context he will hate to be touched in

he prefers hard touch to light touch, but if it's in a favourable context and he's in an alright mood, he doesn't mind it so much either way

weirdly he never really had to talk to Del about that because whenever she holds his hand or grabs his arm to get his attention or anything like since they've known eachother she just GRABS

little weirdo

he could not breathe right with her on that bike

but anyways in the right context with the right person he finds touch to be sooooo comforting he craves it a lil

also introception/proprioception hyposensitivity issues

he does not feel or react to pain maybe as much as he should (canon)

he also doesn't really feel any physical indication of hunger, thirst, or heat until insane extents

he is dehydrated!!!

alright thats all ive got for now i hope that came out right and i hope you are having a scrumptious day tysm for the ask this was so funn

ps. sorry it took so long and is so long here's a sandwich

pps. i found out i have vestibular, tactile and auditory hyposensitivity during the making of this post

[enden-k]

Was not expecting the (partial) lore drop with Saran's name. Excuse me while I hyperfixate on that because ONE AND A MYSTERY LETTER IS TOO SHORT FOR ME TO CRACK IT....for now at leastLiterally too short.

I have speed consumed the entirety of the available content to determine what it's about. I am going to speed consume it once more the SECOND I have time because the theories-

Currently, sitting at the theory of last name. What i find the most interesting is that he will call himself that, but hates it when others do (the whine is mostly the same across non traumatized and reverse Saran so clearly, not that BIG an insult to his person/ego but still not enjoyable) AND it's seemingly a part of his actual name. It's not "Don't call me that" but "Don't say my name/like that"

(Second working theory and the reason i need to speed consume stuff once more is for my theory of Saran not being his name/being a nickname- Bit of a long shot. But!! If he's never/rarely mentioned by name across all of the content with pre Vika people, it becomes a little more possible. After all, he seemed to have reinvented himself after his death to a point where he was comfortable again after such a betrayal, who's to say he didn't ditch a name he disliked?)

(Or it could be just his last name he ditched. Who knows? Certainly not me)

-🦜

"saran" is the first syllables of his very long last name (family name). when his parents named him, he was given a first name and an unknown nickname for the time being until he was able to choose one for himself. which he later changed to "saran"

in their family, the first name is smth blessed and saying it is very intimate and only between close ones like family members or partners which is why they pick nicknames for outside the close circle

he went with "saran" bc its just the very shortened version of his family name and saved him the trouble of thinking of a new nickname

azai is the only one who knows his first name bc theres an important moment (OG amygdala ofc) where saran takes him HOME home; not to his apartment but to his families home to get a few things for their early amygdala experiments. azai overheard sarans mother calling his name bc its been ages since he showed up at his home again; later on when azai is alone with her bc hes not permitted to enter the sacred halls, she has a very sweet, motherly talk with him which he understands as permission to have her son

when he uses his name for the first time, saran has quite the feral reaction bc like i said, its very intimate. azai uses it without his permission and saran doesnt like it, esp not the way he says it, bc it implies theyre romantic partners

when he tells vika his first name, its given bc he wants him to use it and bc he sees him as his spouse. he loves the soft way vika says it and insist to call him only this. it visibly makes saran flustered too. bro could break vika any time he wants yet hes the one being broken whenever vika says his first name akjsbckj

(so yea, when baby saran yells at saran not to say it, its bc saran is mimicking his dad to piss off baby saran and its super effective. its ok for him to say bc its lit him and also the only ones using it in that time is his parents so yea, baby saran def connects it with his annoying dad LMAO

meanwhile in the reverse amygdala doodle, saran tells azai not to say it (without much bite tho than he would do in og) bc azai mocks him ("aw are you crying") - he only allows it here bc i doodled this as an azaisaran request ajksbck)

anw, saran keeps his names after death bc its probably the only thing left from his past and his family. have fun figuring it out tho until he drops it himself AJKBSCKJBK if someone would actually get it right they have one free wish bc that would be insane fr---