#because grown ass adults can't imagine

[joonipertree]

Imagine being Mikey's girlfriend and having so many teenagers giving you respect as if you're the leader of the number one biker gang in Tokyo.

Imagine how confused everyone in your school is when a group of bulky, testosterone filled, aggressive high schoolers come and bow at a 90° angle. You're staring with reddened cheeks because ???????????

But they're off to go to class without a word, muttering to themselves. Your classmates and friends are like: "dude what the fuck happened?" and you're like "I don't even know."

Then some fuckers come and offer to hold your bag for you? To get you lunch? Someone gave you their bento? And everyone starts noticing how it's only the delinquents that do it. Mostly the ones wearing the Tokyo Manji uniform.

If there's a Toman member in class, you bet your ass they'd threaten the teacher for you. Like "They got that answer right!!" and you're like "no!!! I didn't!!!"

You're so scared your teachers were gonna give you detention. Or call your parents to let them know their child had a gaggle of delinquents doing their bidding.

God, imagine if they call you a title. Like "princess" or something. I can't even think of a title suited for this. But like something cringey that gets you annoyed and the clueless people around you start having even weirder theories.

Biggest one? You're the Yakuza's daughter.

IMAGINE!!!! IF SOME OF THE TOMAN INNER CIRCLE WERE THERE SJSNSNSJKSKWKA

I'm imagining Baji and chifuyu laughing their ass off in the corner, on the floor, gasping for air. And when you notice them, you run and ask if they had anything to do with this.

Baji wishes and chifuyu was growing purple from lack of oxygen. You kicked at them and wacked them with your book. WHICH MADE THINGS WORSE BECAUSE YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS ARE SEEING U BEAT UP GANG MEMBERS. YOURE A RAGING MONSTER IN THEIR EYES NOW.

If the toman members see this, do you think they'd be afraid of you? They'd be shaking in their boots at someone most likely half their size and that couldn't even win an arm wrestling match.

You'd ask Baji and chifuyu to tell them to stop. They would very loudly call you princess and run away cackling.

I'm pretty sure in highschool, the inner circle go to the same school. I don't remember but Takemitchy, Hakkai and Chifuyu go to the same school right?

If you think Takemitchy would help, chifuyu convinced him not to. Anyone else there is just someone you couldn't get a hold of. And you just ended up ignoring the delinquents and going about your day. Which just made you look like even more of a gang leader, walking down a hallway with a blank stare while people around you bowed.

Some non delinquents call you princess and you're telling them that "no, it's a prank. A sick joke that my boyfriend is playing on me."

People realise very quickly why you were being treated like royalty when the school day ended.

Because lo and behold, The Invincible Mikey was standing at the gate, leaning against his infamous bike as he waited for you. People just stopped and stared, not bothering leaving the vicinity, out of curiosity and maybe fear.

You see Mikey and start stomping towards him, everyone holding their breath because 'the yakuzas daughter was going head to head with the captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang.'

But Mikey was smiling brightly, arms open for a hug as he made grabby hands at you.

You came close and kicked him on the shin.

I honestly can't imagine everyone's reaction. Stunned silence. It's a sense of doom I think. A sense of 'rest in peace'. But also, the utter shock and respect you'd just accumulated from your peers in a second. You had some mad fucking balls to do that shit. Even full grown adults wouldn't do something like that to Sano Manjiro. People were ready to join your followers and praise you.

The kick was weak by the way, Mikey didn't even flinch. He just looked confused and then you ranted to him about your day and suddenly he was fully relying on his Babu to hold him up. Because my god, was he laughing his ass off. He couldn't breathe.

If Ken-chin was with him, let's be honest he would be, the man would also be on his knees dying of laughter. Just...imagine every Toman member that's part of the inner circle.... laughing vehemently at you for this.

With grumbles and glares, you try walking home by yourself but Mikey is quick to pull you back into his arms. His laughter hadn't stopped but he was leaning on you now.

The way one sinewy hand was on your waist while the other was tangled in your hair...made it very clear what you guys were to each other.

It was a collective 'oh.....oh' moment.

Mikey peppered many apologetic kisses on your cheeks and you whined about how embarrassing it was and how people were watching. Unbeknownst to you, Mikey had slyly made eye contact with anyone staring and glared daggers at them.

Ken-chin then decided to stand in front of the two of you and throw daggers at the on lookers for him.

And as much as you wanted to push away, you leant into his kisses and let him give you one on the nose and forehead. He tasted sweet on your lips too and your arms were around his neck, pulling away to stop the boy from going overboard like he always did.

"I'll treat you to lunch to make up for it?" Mikey whisperer gently, eyes soft and lovesick.

"Promise to call a meeting and tell everyone to stop?"

Mikey snorted, "Yes princess."

The punch on his arm was a lot harder. Mikey made an exaggerated pained expression, snickering to himself as he pulled you in close.

"It's not like it's a lie, though. You should be treated like royalty and have everyone do your bidding."

The blush that rose on your cheeks made his heart flutter.

"Only you can....treat me like that."

Oh he's not letting go of you any time soon.

Bonus: Later on, when you meet Baji and Chifuyu...they call you princess and burst out laughing. You promptly throw both of your shoes at them.

I also feel like if the Haitani brothers caught wind of this, it'd just be the worst for you. They are the snarkiest motherfuckers.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine having deep discussions with the Whitebeard pirates

Ace: Have you ever wondered why the world government opposes people so far away from them, doing what we do?

Marco: [mutters] I wish you would just stop saying odd shit.

Whitebeard: well we're breaking the law, obviously.

You: It's a little deeper than that. It's because what many pirates do, is the same thing the world government does.

Marco: We are not similar in any way.

You: no, think about it, what does the world government do? They lay out a bunch of rules and if you don't follow them, they use violence to force most of the world into following them. And if a nation elects not to join the world government, or can't afford to join, they raid and pillage those islands and take their citizens as slaves.

Izou: On the other hand, if a nation does join the world government, they have to pay heavenly tributes, because if they don't, the Marines will raid and pillage your country. But if they pay the heavenly tributes, the marines will protect their nation from outsiders, like pirates and non-world-government-nations.

Whitebeard: However, on top of paying the heavenly tribute, the average person also pays local and national taxes, so it's a heavy burden for some countries.

Marco: Oh my gods, it's like a protection racket, that common thugs run, just on a massive scale.

Whitebeard: and, like many pirates.

You: they don't like pirates, for the same reason they don't like common thugs, because you all are muscling in on their turf.

Thatch: so most governments are just organized, and socially acceptable, thuggery.

You: Not all, look at Alabasta for instance, King Cobra has a lot of social programs for his people. Food programs and affordable housing for the poor. Medical programs that put a doctor in every village and a bunch of other stuff. The people should receive something back from their government besides 'protection'.

Ace: I know a lot of nations that are in the world government have a large lower class that they exploit labor from and bleed them dry with taxes, tolls, and fines. I can never forget what I saw at the Grey Terminal out of the Goa Kingdom's Great Gate.

Thatch: That's because in "normal society" they value wealth, and look down on and take advantage of people who don't have it. Meanwhile, in pirate culture, we value strength and look down on and take advantage of those who are weaker, like how we raid other crew's ships because we can, and they can't stop us.

Izou: [sighs] That's an oversimplification If I ever heard one.

Thatch: [steps into Izou's space bubble.] You got something to say to me?

Izou: I've been to both world-government nations and non-world-government nations, and I can tell you that they value both strength and wealth. It's just different classes value one over the other. The upper and more privileged class values wealth, and daintiness because they can hire the strong. While the less privileged value strength, because it helps them survive, because they don't have money.

Thatch: I know that, did you forget I grew up poor as shit, mister little daimyo's vassal-boy.

Izou: And I was a wandering beggar minstrel before that, also keep Oden's name out of your mouth.

Thatch: how about you fucking make me?

Marco: [hops between the two men and dramatically claps his hands together like a clapperboard.] Aaand scene, that was a brilliant performance, gentlemen.

Ace: it was almost hard to tell that you two are actually friends.

Thatch: [huffs] Alright, I'll take it back, I'm sorry Izou.

Izou: I'm sorry too

You: you all are too fighty.

Ace: bitch, you're the most stab happy out of all of us.

You: I am not

Whitebeard: Just last night, you stabbed Vista's hand with a fork because he kept reaching over your plate.

You: ... I did do that, but only after asking him to stop three times. Which is more than reasonable, he's a grown-ass adult, and he, and his fuck ass mustache, should know basic table etiquette by now.

Ace: and then you stabbed me for no reason, with the same fork!

You: that was for good measure, just in case you got any ideas!

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[nerdy-hyperfixations]

Listen, I love Fiddlestan as much as the next guy, but where did we start getting the idea Ford was cold and dismissive towards Fidds during their time working on the portal???

I could totally be wrong because I haven't read every single GF related thing (hell, my journals aren't decoded because I'm a slacker), but like??? The first time he saw him, he bought him his favorite snacks *and* a whole ass banjo and said he'd make it his mission that Fiddleford would be comfortable in his home.

They go adventuring together and talk about things like fashion trends and the future and go stargazing.

Ford is *so* happy when Fiddleford returns that he hugs him immediately. Abd then he feels bad that Fiddleford feels bad about his failing marriage that he throws him a holiday party even though he doesn't celebrate and hates the holidays honestly. And he put on Fiddlefords favorite song (which he despises and honestly? ME TOO FORD. I HAVE BEEF WITH THAT SONG) and drank seemingly spiked eggnog with him despite not usually liking to drink. So that he could make Fiddleford feel better.

He also just openly adores everything Fiddleford does. Maybe it's only in his journals. You could argue he doesn't say it out loud but, like, he exclusively describes him as impressive all of the time-

And I get where it's coming from in like a "oh he's a workaholic who has the pressure of Bill breathing down his neck that he has to be working on the portal 24/7." And like yeah, but in the pages he's a workaholic he's a workaholic practically begging Fiddleford to stay up with him because he loves working along side him. Fiddleford and him work *together.*

Like the page where they're sorta fighting with each other because Ford wants to work more its not "leave me alone Fiddleford, I have to do this" it's "hey! How come you won't stay up with me! Ugh this is so unfair that you're going to bed even though you know I plan to continue working for another hour."

I'm just saying if Fiddleford wanted to cuddle, I imagine Ford's response would be "Oh! Awesome, I love spending time with him 🥰🥰🥰" but he'd just end up using Fidds' back as a table for his studies. Or they'd do that thing where one of them is working on a desk and they sit on one chair in each other's arms.

And, while we're here, realistically? Emotionally stunted, slapped by more women than He's dated, "I can't cry in front of people, and the only thing I'm good for is my fists." Stanley Pines??? He's not cuddling shit. He's got that toxic masculinity ingrained into him. It doesn't matter how incredibly touch starved he is, cuddling is too emotionally intimate and "girly" for him. Honestly if Fiddleford tried to cuddle him he'd probably throw him in a headlock because he's also been on the streets for years now with people constantly trying to attack him.

And I'm not saying this to diss on Fiddlestan. Again, I *like* Fiddlestan! But when I read "Ford could never appreciate him like Stan could" I don't understand it.

They so clearly bonded well together, and if Ford truly was being an asshole (or not an asshole, but just generally unpleasant even when he wasn't possessed) the whole time, I doubt Fiddleford would've stayed. Nostalgia and physical attraction can only get you so far, and Fidds is already facing the horrors in Gravity Falls, Stanford has to be a hell of an amazing person to make someone want to stay. Like, he's a grown adult. Sure he really wanted to impress Ford and allotted himself to be "the tech guy to Ford's smarts" but if he wanted to leave, he could've. And there didn't seem to much keeping him there. Especially when he was having doubts on the portal.

[weebsinstash]

Now don't get me wrong, I like how... calm and unbothered Alastor is, or at least tries to pass himself off as being

but like.... we know he's a drinker.... and we know certain details about him having an alcoholic abusive father who was cruel to his mother which heavily influenced his whole Dexter serial killer morality bs... and I can't help but think of a fic idea where Reader and Alastor are together and, suddenly without warning you break up with him BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON HIM. you're like, legitimately heartbroken and missing him but you broke up for a good reason and, time passes and you dont see or hear from him, you're basically just going on with your life, and, MEANWHILE HE'S JUST SLOWLY DEVOLVING IN A PATHETIC LITTLE MEOW MEOW

His radio show comes on and he's SLURRING and people are aghast. Alastor is usually such a classy gentleman, so careful with his image??? Meanwhile he's in his radio station with several glasses of whiskey and staring at a wall lined with your photos while he's broadcasting, "ohhhh hEeeEy LiSteNers!! How-how are you all doing this.... 😡LOVELY😤 evening. Isnt..... isn't it... so nice to... spend time with loved ones when you need them? 🥴 WELL I WOULDNT KNOW HA HAH HA" *cue 30 straight uninterrupted seconds of unhinged laughing from a man clearly having an emotional crisis* "so on tonightsssshow I was-i wasszzz hoping to-to discussss-"

Like imagine tuning into his show after avoiding it because it broke your heart and it turns from him like, having an actual topic and planned structure of his show, to then, one day you overhear a broadcast and he's just occasionally slurring, saying really really vague shit about how "real men are supposed to be strong enough to protect and hold onto those they hold dear" and you can occasionally hear the THUNK of his whiskey glass hitting the table meaning he's already drunk but still drinking WHILE broadcasting and, oh honey you already sound so wasted you don't need more--

You guys don't understand. I want this man having a very PUBLIC very MESSY mental breakdown because he was CRAZY IN LOVE WITH YOU and you sat him down and told him you love him deeply but you need sex and you've cheated on him REPEATEDLY and EVEN THEN he was HARDCORE COPING, "w well as long as you promise it won't happen again-" "I cant and i won't. I love you but i cant repress this part of myself" LIKE YOU DECIMATE THIS MAN. Alastor's just beside himself because like, not without valid feelings but you're basically dumping him to fuck strangers. Like. I just. What if he literally had a ring box or was starting to realize he's demisexual on the ace spectrum and was starting to have Those Feelings for you and you're just. Breaking up with him, and all he hears is "sorry but having these disgusting men I don't even know hunch over on me grunting like disgusting animals and defiling me who is definitely way too good for them is way better than being with you my respectful funny classy charming totally-not-husband"

I want you to be walking down the streets of Hell and Vox suddenly comes on their equivalent of a jumbotron and he's visibly beside himself with excitement, "BREAKING NEWS, THE RADIO DEMON IS PISS DRUNK IN THE GUTTER LIKE A FUCKING LOSER, MORE NEWS ON THE SCENE" and it just snap cuts to him facedown in the street somewhere. Have you ever seen Intervention. You can have grown ass adults with successful careers and loving communities and when they find something that breaks them you'll be seeing shit like, children finding their mothers literally passed out in the yard because they were too drunk to get into the house or even WALK properly. So. You just. See him in this legitimately pathetic absolutely humiliating state and you can't help but feel that that's YOUR fault, meanwhile Vox is living his best fucking life, GOD FORBID VOX SEES YOU STANDING THERE CRYING ON THE SIDEWALK, he's then broadcasting your crying face all over Hell, "Hey Alastor even your EX is CRYING AT HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE, GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY LEFT YOU HUH" and like. The live feed of Alastor shows him just, struggling to even lift his head to look up to, wherever, and see your image there, looking absolutely devastated, looking at him with pity and heartbreak. oh, his sweet beloved, looking so distressed because you see him so weak...

Vox is just living it up mocking both of you but he's made several enormous mistakes by putting you on the air, especially looking like THAT, especially with Alastor in this mental state, and ESPECIALLY to mock you when you're already looking so broken. The feed cuts. All the TVs read "LOST SIGNAL" and nothing comes back on the news for the rest of the night. Less than a week later, the radios are on again, and Alastor sounds... completely back to normal? Chipper, even? And at first you're happy to hear he's all good and well, but, there's something about some of the things he's saying that are making you a little.... nervous?

"You know folks, it took me an EMBARRASSINGLY long while to realize that, a true traditional man puts the needs of others above himself, and especially the needs of his special somebody! One can't truly care for one's loved one properly if you're too boggled down with, FEELING SORRY for yourself right? How else are you going to... defend what's yours if you just lie down and take it?"

"So while I was off the air, good listeners, I was doing quite a bit of, spring cleaning, let's call it! Yes, I was... unfortunately very busy, having to wrangle up quite a few.... disgusting, insignificant, dirty, thieving PERVERTS!!!! ....but now that that's all good and done with, I'd certainly like to think these streets are a little more... respectable!"

"To end the broadcast tonight, a final word to all my fellow men out there. If you happen to discover that, for whatever reason, your beloved has run off with another? It was because you deserved it for being WEAK. You allowed another man to just, COME IN and... DESECRATE what is precious to you? Disgraceful. Pathetic. Ill-mannered. You cannot call yourself a worthy partner if you simply allow your beloved to waltz themselves into the mouth of danger, can you? So, a little piece of advice from your humble host here tonight: Take back what is yours. Take them back, do not let them go, and do not let anyone EVER soil your love ever again. ........Also hey! Don't forget that the annual Cannibal District Cook-Out is this coming weekend so be sure to--"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my sibling (16nb) that I (20f) think all their "friends" are pedos and zoophiles?

CW, pedophiles, zoophiles, vigilante justice and ableism

Right so my sibling has joined a discord group that does vigilante justice on online predators, think "To Catch a Predator" but instead of having anyone who knows what they're doing they're a load of terminally online idiots. They lure in people, I don't want to know their methods tbh, then publically berate them in a discord voice chat. That's it.

The group ethos is that public humiliation will cure them of being pedos, and that is not how that works actually, you fuckin morons. The rest of this server are aware my sibling is 16, btw, and are totally chill with them being in the same space as people they accuse of being the worst forms of scum imaginable (pedos, zoophiles, zoo sadists, you get the idea).

Im sure you can tell I can't fucking stand this server for many reasons. Firstly, because they claim to care about children's welfare whilst bringing my sibling into a space like this. Secondly, because this method does not work and they're giving any victims false hope. Thirdly, the vast majority of the people they managed to convince to get in call with them are clearly mentally disabled in some way, and, while that doesn't excuse predation obviously, I suspect the server picks these people in particular because they want to yell at audibly disabled people over voice chat. Finally, there's a weird vibe to a lot of the members of this group that, for lack of a better description, screams porn brainrot. They're so sexual all the time and in very inappropriate places, like a fucking server meant to deal with sexual predation. There's a time and place for puppy kinks and in a discord server where evidence of people sexually abusing animals gets posted is not it!

So I found out about this, compiled my evidence, then showed my sibling and basically blackmailed them into leaving the server or I was going to show our mother what they'd been up to. I reported the sever separately, and I'm not sure what else I can do about it tbh. I know they'll just make a new one if this one gets taken down.

My sibling is very annoyed with me. they've been banging on with teenage melodrama that I'm standing in the way of grassroots justice and shit like that. Eventually I snapped and said "I bet every one of those grown adults in that server is a nonce or a dog fucker or something, and making a group like that was just to cover their asses and focus the attention off of their creepiness."

Since I said that, my sibling has been giving me the silent treatment, aita

What are these acronyms?

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

IM fandom got me actin up cause I wasn't even gonna say anything about this chapter lmao

So let's tall about it

Chapter 349: Imperfect Parents

It is not lost on me in the slightest that we're using plural nouns in this title instead of just referring to one parent. I can't imagine why.

Okay so, I'm fully understanding of why people are upset with this chapter and I get that we were so close to a good ending for the boys but-

Canola is right.

I'm not sorry she absolutely is right about this and we gotta address it now. Putting this on the record here and not just on the discord where I already went over all of this.

Let's start with the beginning.

Canola makes it clear that no minor should be in Felix's care, and upon inquiring we are given a very clear reason as to why.

And she is correct. When the Labyrinth chapters were dropping I need it to be made clear I had no patience for any of the Questers' actions regarding this scene. Every last one of them knew damn well Boris shouldn't have gone in there and they still let him regardless. The fact that Cuphead was the only one who had his wits about him enough to say no is embarrassing because when the fuck did he become the reasonable one amongst the group? Why were Leticia and Cuphead the ONLY ADULTS WHO REALIZED THAT BORIS WAS A CHILD

Everyone knew about the children going missing in Fairmont. Everyone knew how dangerous this was but because Boris didn't look like he was traumatized by the other previous quests everyone decided that he was mature enough to handle this quest. The problem lies in the fact that the Questers treat Boris like he's 25 when he's only 14. Not only that, but unlike everyone else who was going into the Labyrinth Boris was DEFENSELESS. He didn't have any real means of saving himself, and given what was in the Labyrinth? Do y'all really think a pipe was going to save his ass? The only reason why Boris lived was because Sarah used him to escape Fairmont, that's it. Otherwise he very well could have fucking died in there and then guess whose fucking fault THAT would have been

In the context of this particular conversation it doesn't matter that Canola doesn't have the full context because she doesn't need it. I said this on the discord and I'll say it again here. Every excuse and reason that people are giving for why things happened the way they did is a NAIL in Felix's coffin preventing him from adopting Boris, not a boon in his favor. These are grown ass adults, they do not need protection from their stupidity and negligence. Because let it be understood, when Canola says "Felix's isn't equipped to care for any minor" she means because of this very reason. Because what the Questers did here was negligence and child endangerment, plain and simple.

If Felix is genuinely serious about adopting Boris he needs to understand that simply listing all the problems he has isn't good enough. You're not being graded for a damn test here, no one cares about your impassioned speech about how much you love and care for those boys after everything they've gone through; it's a nice sentiment, but absolutely meaningless in the grand scheme of the conversation he's having with Canola.

Fundamentally what a social worker like Canola is asking of Felix is: with the behavioral issues and trauma this child has, can you really look after them and give them the proper care they need? Can you guarantee them a safe environment to heal and process their trauma? Can you put your foot down and reprimand Boris when he's out of line?

All of these are necessary questions to ask and all of these questions Felix has failed even before the idea of adoption occurred to him.

Things are not going to get better unless a change is made in the dynamic of the quest group. Everybody, not just Felix, has to stop treating Boris like he's an adult and recognize him for the traumatized child he is. And that means putting their foot down and Boris actually experiencing repercussions for things he does without adult guidance and supervision. Something he dearly needed during the TalentTown arc and was denied by everyone in the group who turned a blind eye to it, not because the don't care about him, but because none of them are truly equipped to deal with a child.

I don't think all hope is lost for Boris to be clear, but I am saying a change absolutely needs to happen in the group and soon if they don't want Boris getting separated. If they care, they'll do it without hesitation.

[goblin-king-jay]

i recently rewatched all of the unsleeping city and am now onto unsleeping city chapter 2, and you know what

i used to think of cody as a joke, the dorky sword kid, but i forgot how absolutely fucking real he was

if i had been the person i wanted to be when i was a teenager, i would've ABSOLUTELY been a cringey overenthusiastic goth kid like cody walsh is.

i'm on episode 2, where pete turns the devil that cody sold his soul to (very quickly and willingly lmao) into a chest tattoo for him, and murph is like, "cody never smiles and so he's trying SO HARD not to smile right now". cody tries to be SO CHILL about the fact that he just found out less than 24 hours ago that MAGIC IS REAL and DEVILS ARE REAL and he meets these awesome fucking adults, one of whom takes the devil he sold his soul to (again, he offered his soul to this devil immediately) and turns it into a CHEST TATTOO with MAGIC.

I would be fucking LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND if that happened to me as a senior in high school. Cody, and Murph by extension, truly is all of us fuckin nerdy kids from high school who wanted to swing swords around and wear spiked collars and (bleem tim curry voice) CHAIN WALLETS and just like

IMAGINE if you were cody walsh!!! I would be vibrating out of my fucking SKIN by then. I would want to hug Pete and never let go.

"no one has ever been this happy. this is just fucking -- normal stuff --" for you guys, he probably meant to say, because he's so overwhelmed by these 2 grown-ups he just met who like, give a shit and want to know what his deal is and help him for some reason?!? they don't even want anything from him they just??? genuinely want to help him out of the fucking goodness of their hearts???

that would have turned me religious on the SPOT I would believe in magic and the power of friendship more than ANYONE like goddamn. I would be like k / dream / karen tanaka (the cutest fuckin name btw erika ishii ilu) like, trying to have a dark aesthetic but right below the surface i would be squealing like a fangirl in a puffy pink dress.

ANYWAY cody is trying to be SO CHILL around these badass adults who are very blasé and normal about this whole magic thing so he's trying to match their energy and be chill

and ally is laughing their ass off, loving murph pulling faces like he's trying so hard to not smile it's like his face is spasming, but then they get into character and take him SO seriously and when cody says thank you Pete is just like, "for sure man i got you."

i love ally so gd much for that, like. because now i can also see the situation from pete's perspective of this fucking edgelord kid who you just want to ruffle his hair or something but he's SO CHUFFED because MAGIC IS FUCKING REAL but he matches cody's energy and is just like for sure dude, we're very cool and chill about this because bros don't show emotion or whatever lmao. it's so cute I love them and can't wait to re-experience how their friendship evolves over the season.

anyway if you got this far thank you for reading, I wrote this while high and just felt screaming about cody walsh.

[au-wannabe-the-very-best]

I imagine after Akari gets banned, the 'Train Clan' takes her in because Ingo took a liking to her, since they're both amnesiac an she's a sweet girl.

Kamado can't do anything because he won't dare attack the people who aren't afraid of Pokemon; and whose own Pokemon take down Alphas as if they're Bidoof.

(Also I'm sorry if Kamado is the wrong name, I mean Galaxy Commander. I'm German, his name is differnt in English and German, and I constantly mix them up)

Oh Ingo and Akari are Besties. Unlike the rest of Hisui, Ingo and his depot agents are really enthusiastic about battling and Pokémon relations, so Akari, someone equally enthusiastic and good with Pokémon, is basically pseudo-adopted pretty quickly. Not to mention battling her actually helps Ingo knock some memories loose, unlike battling the other depot agents.

I think in this AU I wanna go with a more Big Brother - Little Sister relationship with Ingo and Akari. Ingo is still a grown ass adult, but acting like a big brother for Akari comes naturally and feels really familiar to him. Think Lilo and Nani's "Oh no! Gravity is increasing on me!"

When Ingo finds out Kamado (Denboku) banished Akari knowing full well that she could DIE out in the wilds, he is VERY angry. He and the depot agents take Akari in without hesitation, she has long since been one of theirs after all.

Kamado doesn't seem to realize that the act of banishing Akari was itself a provocation. Around this time, Ingo's grown a full team of six, and his three experienced, competitively trained Pokémon have picked up agile and strong-styled moves. The guards don't even try to stop him when he walks through the village gates. He's got an aggro walk, his eyes are shadowed by his hat, his frown is deeper than usual, and he's over fucking 6 feet tall, he is the scariest motherfucker in Hisui and everyone knows it. No one is willing to stand in this man's way.

(Well, except maybe Zisu, but she liked Akari. She's gonna turn a blind eye. If anyone asks, she was inside the dojo and didn't know what was going on. She can challenge the guy to a battle later, on friendlier terms.)

Ingo doesn't hurt anyone, obviously. He simply formally challenges Kamado to a battle. Then fucking decimates him. Unlike usual, Ingo offers no polite congratulations or advice. He simply huffs, looks Kamado up and down, then leaves. The battle was enough to show Ingo that nothing he says will make it through to this stubborn man, so he decides to not waste his time lecturing him.

Kamado and the rest of the Galaxy Team takes this as a warning shot.

[lovelytsunoda]

crying over it all // clement novalak

summary: there are few things in this world more mortifying than failing your drivers test when everyone else your age has a license. it’s made even worse when your boyfriend is a racing driver

pairing: clement novalak x female reader

warnings: reader fails her driving test, which leads to significant self loathing, clem is just trying to be supportive and god I need someone like him right now

authors note: guess who failed her drivers test 🙃 I’ve rebooked it but now I have to commute by way of three buses to my college campus :( and don't even get me started on field placement...i wish i had never left it this long but at this point i need to trust to process and find some sort of way to move past it.

“I’m sorry, but you will need to retake your road driving test. I understand that’s not what you wanted to hear, but you need some more practice. you can see the full list of mistakes inside.”

it had been twenty minutes since she’s heard those words, and she still felt shaky on her feet. her hands had shook and tears fell down her face as she went inside, taking a number and waiting in a notoriously long dmv line to admit to the woman at the desk that she needed to rebook her test.

she didn’t want clement to see her like this, utterly defeated and trying not to scream her lungs out as she watched four teenagers in line in front of her get their licenses.

she was twenty one, for god sakes. she should have been driving by now.

she was sitting on the wooden bench, slouched I gracefully and letting the tears fall as she played with her car keys when clement found her.

what was the point of even owning a fucking car if she couldn’t drive it?

“oh, love." clem frowned, feeling his own stomach sink when he saw how distraught she was. "i take it that things didn't go well."

"could you tell?" she sobbed, trying to wipe her eyes. "was it that obvious? i hate myself, clement. how is it that i can't do something that pretty much everybody my age has been able to do since they were sixteen."

his heart ached as he heard her words. he'd passed his test on the first try, and he drove things for a living, so he's never really thought about what it must have been like for her, having to bum rides off her friends and family or to be bound to the transit schedule. while she was in college, it hadn't been the biggest deal, although it was a minor inconvenience. now that she would be working full time, the stakes were higher.

"i'm sorry, pretty girl." he frowned, pulling her closer, allowing her rest her head on his shoulder. "but you can take it again, and you know what you did wrong, right?"

"i start work next week, clem. i've looked up the commute and if i take public transit, it's almost two hours each way. and i feel like i'm a burden by constantly asking people for rides, or telling them that if they can't pick me up, we can't hang out. hell, my mother had to drive to my first date with you!"

clem chuckled at the memory, the image of a frazzled y/n stepping out of her mother's suv and frantically scanning the parking lot for clement. moments later, her mother had insisted to getting out of the car and introducing herself to clem. y/n thought that she would combust then and there.

"your mother loves me!"

"yeah, but imagine being a grown-ass adult and still having to get your mother to drive you to appointments because you don;t want to chance the bus route not aligning with your appointment time? i feel like my grandmother, and she's ninety, clement. she had her license revoked because she has cataracts."

"i know it hurts right now, but you are never a burden, y/n. your friends love having you in the car when they drive. hell, i feel like i drive better when you're next to me. i don't mind driving you places, you know. it means that i get to spend more time with you."

she smiled at the gesture, turning to allow clem to cup her chin and wipe some of her tears away. her face was flushed, eyes red and puffy. she couldn't shake the idea that she might have made a scene inside the testing center.

"i know. i just wish i could be more independent. transiting gives me so much fucking anxiety. i went over the curb when i three=point-turned and an old lady on a mobility scooter started yelling at me."

"but you never go over the curb."

"exactly! i think i was nervous, when i practiced the route with my dad, there were never any cars on the road. and i think after that happened, i got into my head and it screwed everything else up. i'm such a fuck up. i feel like i've let everybody down, especially you, since you helped pay for my fucking car."

'"hey, hey, don;t talk like that. you'll get it. i promise you. you know jenson button didn't pass his road test on his first try, right?"

she snorted, sitting up straighter, but still clutching clem's hand. "did he really?"

"yeah, and i think lando failed as well."

"yeah well, i've seen how lando drives. that doesn't surprise me at all."

having a laugh seemed to help, and at least now if people mwere staring at her it was because of the f2 driver sitting next to her, not because she was a grown woman who still couldn't drive and decided to cry about it, and then fling her keys onto the grass.

"i have some plans i might have to move around, and then i need to call my parents, and then my dad can take me out to practice a bit more but i have to trust that when i take it again in october, something goes right. because i know exactly what i fucked up."

she moved to get up from the bench, clm following closely behind as she shamefacedly handed him the keys to her volkswagen. well, the volkswagen now, since she couldn't drive it without someone who'd had their license for five years present.

"i'm proud of you for trying. i know that this was something you put off for a long time because of your anxiety, and even though it didn't work out, at least you tried." clem encouraged, his arms comfortably slung around her shoulders as she laced her fingers with his. "hey, it could be worse. you could have had your dad drive you here."

"clement, don't even joke!" she laughed. "you know that i hate taking transit, and that i don't always feel safe going places alone."

"i know. and if you ever feel unsafe, or too anxious to function, or just like you want to see my gorgeous face, call me. as long as im in the country, i will come and get you. and if im not, i'll send someone i trust."

"like who? max fewtrell? his driving is worse than landos."

clem snorted. "i meant ria. or pietra.

"thank you, clement." she sighed, leaning into him as he unlocked the car. "i love you."

"i love you more, pretty girl." he kissed the top of her head softly. "it will all work itself out, love. just you wait. and then you'll be the one driving me places."

TAGS:

@httpiastri @magnummagnussen @oconso @thatsdemko @scuderiamh @libraryofloveletters @diorleclerc @sidcrosbyspuck @cartierre @clemswrld @love4lando

[pythoness94]

Double standard

I see a lot of people going, "I need El to use Mike's words against him in season 5." And while I agree to some degree, I see people treating Mike like he's the devil and deserves to be alone or dead and like El was just the PERFECT Girlfriend. That makes me side eye some people because, no hate to El I love her, but her treatment of Mike in season 3 was egregious. While we love season 3 for the Byler angst, some things get a little brushed under the rug. Like, oh I don't know, El's, "i make my own rules. " That was insane, it's played off has some "OWN " on Mike but people forget that El was literally spying on him and never apologized. It's played off as a joke when Mike goes. "What if I was taking a shit?" and Max says, "but you weren't!" but the fact of the matter is. What if he was? What if he was using the bathroom, or taking a shower, or just having a private or vulnerable moment of any sort. Like, take a second and just imagine. Imagine if Mike was having a private moment and El and Max saw that, imagine what the fall out would be. El is PISSED about Mike saying that but imagine how mad Mike would be if they saw him in a private moment. El is all about friends don't lie so it would come out eventually. Also, not only Mike but Lucas and Will too. What if Lucas was having a vulnerable moment talking to his closest friends. Lucas knew El for like two years MAX at this point and Max for less then. Sure, he's dating her but what if he wants to talk to people, he's known since second grade and know him better than anyone else? What if Will was talking about his time in the upside down? Will doesn't know El or Max very well at this point, of course he wants to talk to his best friends and not some people he knows by association. What if Will was having a flashback and wanted to confide in his closest people.

There is a lot of variables that just get lost because this was the season where El was coming into her own. Yes, El needed to learn how to "make her own rules," and not just mindlessly follow what anyone says. However, she doesn't learn that her "rules" don't override anyone else's. Mike's boundaries aren't something to be tossed aside like trash because El needed to have her impowering moment. Mike was forced to lie by Hopper, (Who is a grown ass adult and pisses me off so much I can write 50 paragraphs over how much he made me mad in season 3, that season single handedly made me hate him for so long.) and while his actions afterward were iffy, he didn't deserve to be treated like that. Also! What he said wasn't meant for El to hear. He was saying something to get off his chest so he could talk to El with a clearer mind, which he tried to in Sauna test and El brushed him off with that "I make my own rules," line. The only reason El didn't listen to Mike in that moment was because of a private moment neither Max or El was meant to hear. Also, if anyone says "Just because they didn't mean to hear it doesn't make it okay." look me in my eyes through your screen and tell me you never said something because you were frustrated with how someone was acting in the heat of the moment and regreted it later. Tell me you never said anything to your best friends that was a bit mean about someone. Tell me that, and I'll call you a liar because I KNOW you're lying and you know you're lying.

So, what I'm saying is, role reversal, i want Mike to ALSO use El's words against her. Like if El says, "I care about you," at some point, showing she's grown from her season 4 counterpart. I want Mike to say "I make my own rules," showing he's grown from his season 4 counterpart. Also think about how neat it would be. Mike thinks he's Lois lane while El is superman. Imagine, what helped El grow into her own helps Mike grow into his. Like, El thinks she needs to protect him and has Mike goes to charge into danger, El tries to hold him back, telling him he can't. And while a previous season Mike would listen, Mike tugs away and says. "I make my own rules. " Before running into the fire. It would how neither Mike nor El need each other. El doesn't need to protect Mike and Mike doesn't need to be protected. It shows that El doesn't have to be a weapon, that her super powers aren't all is, and that Mike isn't just "El's boyfriend." that he doesn't live to love her, but to also love himself. So, basically, i'm saying let's have BOTH.

[l1tw1ck]

Diluc I'd Like to Fuck

Father of one becomes father of two

Bottom!FTM Diluc x Top!Masc Reader

{Request} | AFAB Language Used

CW: Semi Public Sex, Dry Humping, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Squirting, Size Difference, Dirty Talk, Riding, Biting/Marking, Window Sex, Biting, Breeding Kink, Daddy Kink, Choking, Overstimulation, Creampie, Hair Pulling

📝 1,666 Words

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You could barely hide the sexual thoughts you've been having about the dad of the kid you babysit and tutor, he's so hot you basically melt in his presence.

When Diluc has to do work in his study or occasionally leave to work or bartend, he asks you to come over and help out his adopted daughter Diona. You're not too sure why Diluc chose you to babysit Diona when he has so many workers but you're not complaining about the huge paychecks you get. Maybe its because you get along with Diona while she looks at the other adults with disdain, likely because you don't drink alcohol.

You usually come early in the morning to make Diona's favorite breakfast meal, watch cartoons, get her school supplies in order, and bring her to school.

After adopting Diona he retired from doing any sort of fighting. He still works out every now and then but he's more relaxed and focused on his kid and his business. His body is less toned and defined but by gods is it still attractive. Hell, even more attractive than before.

You like coming extra early on 'accident' so you can see Diluc in just a pair of boxers. His messy and unbrushed hair along with the faded scars on his body from what he used to do in the past, thick and soft thighs with the perfect amount of hair on them. Not to mention his plump ass that practically begs to be grabbed.

He shaves every other Sunday or before a meeting so you get about 13 or so chances to see his light stubble or his well grown beard. Not to mention his happy trail, let's just say the carpet matches the drapes. The sight is too good to miss out on.

He fits the description of 'Dad Bod' to a T.

The close relationship you have with Diona allows you to get closer to him. Although you've known each other for years, you lost touch after you moved to Sumeru for your education.

Diluc walks out of his study, catching you right as you close the door. "Hold on, do you mind giving me a ride? I have to go into the office today."

You smile. "No problem, Dee."

His cheeks turn a light red.

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You offered to go up to Diluc's office to help him with all the things he was carrying, and just as you're about to bid him adieu, he speaks up.

"Do you have any free time?"

His gaze is abnormally seductive, you can't ignore it even if you try.

"Yeah.." You reply softly.

He pulls out his chair and gestures for you to sit. You do as he asked and he quickly climbs onto your lap. "I'm not the only one who's interested, right?" He asks, a little nervous now that he's taken the initiative.

You shake your head. "Dee, you don't even wanna know what I've been thinking about you these days."

"Tell me." He grinds down on you, unbuttoning his shirt.

You lean into his ear. "I've been imagining fucking you against the kitchen counter and you'd be crying and begging for more, like a slut."

Diluc moans, rutting against you even harder. "What else?" He pulls his shirt off.

"Sometimes I'd hope to catch you masturbating to me, and I'd come in right as you squirt all over your sheets. Fuck, I'd love to see that."

Diluc's cheeks burn. He takes your hand and brings it to his crotch. "I..I always have extra clothes, in case something spills...you might fit them.."

You chuckle and help him get his pants off then his boxers. You pick him up, your strength surprising to the older man, and sit him down on the desk. You spread his legs apart and smile. "Gods, you're practically soaked." You pepper kisses along his thick thighs, occasionally biting them before moving to spread open his wet cunt and licking up a stripe to taste him.

Diluc bites his lip, trying to keep his eyes on you but ultimately failing when your mouth latches onto his t-dick and your fingers start to enter him. "Fuck~" He rolls his head back. "Yes- yes-"

He ruts his hips against you. "Oh Gods-" He gasps. "Like that-"

You keep going, pushing three fingers in and out of him and feel him squeezing them. He's close. If that wasn't enough evidence, his repeated 'yes's should be satisfactory.

"Gonna come- 'm gonna come-" Diluc cries out, not caring about any of his coworkers hearing him. His legs shake and his toes curl as he squirts into your mouth. He takes time to catch his breath, looking down at you as you slurp up whatever didn't land in your mouth.

"You were pretty loud, Dee, do you want people to see this?" You chuckle.

"I don't care..I just want you to fuck me, please."

You smirk. "Whatever you want my prince." You pull your pants down, taking your length out and pumping it slowly.

Diluc stares at your length, feeling incredibly needy for you.

"Do you have a condom?" You ask. You had a pack in your bag but it's in the car.

"No- don't use a condom." Diluc moves your hand out of the way, sitting on your lap and avoiding your length. "I...I want it raw."

Your face heats up. "Is that okay? What if you..."

Diluc blushes. "If it's yours..." He looks to the side and purses his lips.

"Shit. You want my kids?" You ask breathless. "Gods, Dee." You look at him lovingly, lifting him up and sinking him down onto your length.

He looks down at his stomach, a faint bump forming. "Fuck.." He moans.

"Can't wait til I get you pregnant.."

Diluc squeezes your length and moans again. He holds onto your shoulders as he starts to bounce on your cock, his fat ass jiggling with each bounce.

You wrap your hands into his hair, pulling him back by his ponytail and earning a breathy and slutty moan from him. You litter hickeys and bites along his neck, marking him as yours.

Diluc loses his momentum as he feels himself already getting close. You let go of his hair and dig your nails into his soft, plush waist, roughly slamming him up and down. "Gonna look so pretty when I stuff you full of my cum."

"Yes~!" Diluc exclaims. "Please- please-!"

Anyone who passes by the room can hear faint slapping noises along with the wanton moans of their boss, their perception of him changing forever.

"Close- Daddy~ 'M gonna co- come~!"

You groan, your grip getting tighter. "Come for me, sweetheart, come on Daddy's cock."

He arches his back and squirts on your length, walls spasming around you almost aggressively. You slow down and pick him up, laying him down onto the desk, resuming your previous pace and chasing your orgasm.

Diluc's moans seem to get louder as you ram into his sensitive cunt, mostly begging for more and exclaiming 'Daddy' over and over.

You bury your head in his shoulder, biting down on him as you slam into him a few more times before coming inside him, spilling your long awaited seed inside his needy pussy. Diluc whimpers at the warm feeling.

You pick him up and start walking to the back of the room, keeping him inside you and making him cling to you like a koala. You open up the curtains to reveal large windows. "You know...if you don't care, you don't mind doing it up against the window, right?" You smirk.

Diluc shivers and shakes his head. "Let's do it." He says breathily. The floor is high up enough that there's barely any worry of getting seen, it's exhilarating for Diluc nonetheless.

You hold his waist, bringing him into a heated kiss. Diluc moans into your mouth as you kiss him deeper. You resume your fast paced thrusts, knocking the air out of his lungs with each one.

You pull away to let him breathe better.

"Cho- choke me~!" He exclaims. "Please~!"

Your hand moves up to his neck, lightly wrapping around it before squeezing. "You like being choked, baby?"

He nods. "Yesh~!" His eyes roll to the back of his head. He's already starting to feel overstimulated but he has no intention of stopping.

The windows are thankfully strong enough to withstand your rough and vigorous thrusts.

You turn him around, squishing his naked chest against the cold glass. "Maybe Barbatos will glide by and see you getting fucked." You tease, nails dug into his waist, his ass flush against your lower body as you ram into him. Diluc moans wantonly, crying out in pleasure.

"You're squeezing me so fucking tight, d'you want that? To be caught?" You pull his hair back. "I never thought you'd be such a whore."

Diluc comes with a jolt, legs shaking violently as he squirts on the previously clean window. He lets out a stupid and dreamy giggle, thinking about the mess he just made.

You fuck him harder, tears of pleasure running down Diluc's cheeks. He feels your cock pulsing inside him, a clear indication that you're about to come.

A string of incomprehensible babbles leaves his mouth, all you can understand is how needy he is. It sounds like he's begging for something.

"Speak properly you dumb slut." You chuckle, letting go of his waist and spanking him.

Diluc whimpers. "Co- come- come-" He manages to say. "Inside~! Inside me~!"

"That's a good boy." Your thrusts slow down, your hips snapping against his ass for the last times as you come inside him.

Diluc lets out another goofy giggle, a matching smile to go with it.

You pick him up and bring him to his desk, turning him onto his back and sighing.

You have no idea how you're going to clean him up and avoid all the employees, even though word has probably spread throughout the building.

[danieldrivesfast]

The absolute asinine takes about the Williams situation are unfortunately not surprising.

Logan Sargeant isn't a child. He's not a teenage girl. He is a whole ass grown man with years of experience in a cutthroat professional sport.

Logan Sargeant knew he wasn't going to be in F1 past this season unless a true miracle happened. Logan Sargeant knew the only reason he kept his seat is because of sponsor money. Logan Sargeant knew that he was never going to be the top driver at Williams with Albon outperforming him nearly every session and every race.

To act like Logan is a scorned child who was abused by meanie weenie James Vowles is absolutely insulting to Logan. (Not to mention how stupid you need to be to try to paint James Vowles as a villain.) He knows better than anyone what the expectations were for him, and he doesn't need, and wouldn't want, to be infantilized because he didn't meet them. Logan always understood that his direct comparison was his teammate, not the rest of the field, and he couldn't keep up with any regularity.

And to double the insult to Logan, the amount of sad edits and memes treating his F1 career like a failure and a sob story because he's out? What is wrong with you people?

Logan Sargeant wanted to be an F1 driver, and he was successful. He made it. Nobody can ever take that away from him. Less than 1% of 1% of racecar drivers ever get to compete in F1, and you're all acting like he deserves to be coddled like a baby because his career in the series was short. He did it. What the hell are you being so dramatic about? Celebrate what he did instead of stomping your feet about what he couldn't do.

I can't imagine how embarrassed Logan would be if he saw all the bullshit so-called fans are spewing about his team, his mentors, and his racing career overall and the way he's being spoken about as if he's a toddler who got thrown off the playground.

Logan Sargeant will have a long career in racing if that's what he wants. I'm sure he's had a plan in place for some time, because he's a professional athlete and functional adult. Hopefully these fans catch up with the maturity soon.

[weebsinstash]

As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

[homunculus-argument]

While my parents' confidence in their childrearing skills far surpassed their actual competence, one of the things they consistently stuck to which actually had a positive impact on me as an adult was the lesson about free will and choices.

Me and my sister had practically zero overlap between foods we'd eat, so as a compromise we had food that one of us would tolerate on alternating days - food I would eat but my sister hated on one day, food she liked but I didn't on the next one, and so on.

So while the other one would cheerily eat with the schadenfreude that only a child competing with a sibling for scraps of parental approval is capable of, the other one got to choose - eat the bad food or go hungry. No pressure or punishment either way. I don't know what, exactly, they intended to teach with this, but I did grow up learning that sometimes every single option you have available to you is shit, but to take grim solace in knowing that at least you got to choose the option you hate less.

Because that's how life works, a lot of the time. Even when all your options are shit, you still have options to choose from. A job that's shit or unemployment that is shit. Walking in shit weather or paying for a shit bus ticket. Saying nothing to the shitty kids at school and listening to their shit, or speaking up and getting their shit poured directly at you. But there's no situation, no matter how shit, where you can't choose which kind of shit you'd rather tolerate.

While I'm fully aware of the irony of not having any other choice but to learn this lesson as a small child, I am still glad to know it now. I couldn't imagine being a grown-ass man who didn't get to learn that you can't always have everything you want, or that sometimes your choices are between two where you don't like either of them, throwing humiliating public tantrums at the age of 51 because you bought Twitter and still can't make people like you.

[i-cant-sing]

I would like your input on this idea that's been floating in my dome. Baby fushiguro grows into young adult and they somehow find a lover without the zenin clan knowledge and gets engaged. She thinks that maybe that since she has grown perhaps uncle Noaya would AT LEAST see how happy they are and maybe eventually give his blessing.......SIKE BITCH HELL NAH

*young adult fushiguro introduces fiancé*

Uncle Noaya: He's hideous and poor, wont be able to take care of my bby...

*young adult fushiguro shows off ring*

Uncle Noaya: Thats such a small diamond! My bby needs a boulder diamond, see honey he doesnt love you, you deserve someone better!

*young adult fushiguro shows the proposal video*

Uncle Noaya: Where's the parade? Where's the fireworks? Where is the Tier 1 band playing in the background? He's not even proposing on top of the world! Honey look he doesn't even have any Hello Kitty shops owned! You need to break up with him before he takes you away from your Hello Kitty obsession because he'll get so needy!

(Btw sorry if this is long and might look like a request but I'm sorta new and just cant tell the difference between writing a ask or a request)

10000000% true because Naoya really doesn't think anybody is good for you. The only thing you got wrong is that:

1. He'd never be so nice about it and praise you for being superior to your fiance.

2. He'd much rather die than admit that he remembers the name of the pink hellish cat you're obsessed with.

Imagine reader being super nervous as she brings her fiance to the Zenin estate. It was already very hard dating him secretly, but now you felt like you were gonna fight one of the biggest curses of your life. Even that seemed easier than this.

Your fiance was confident that he'd win their hearts, he rubbed your back and assured you that you have nothing to worry about. But he doesn't know your family, he doesn't know how crazy they are.

You and your fiance sat across from your family. He was talking to them about how serious he is about you, how he'd make sure nothing ever upsets you, how he'd happily give up his life for you, all lovey dovey things. He had charmed up your aunties and other females of the family, but the men were a whole another story. They were glaring at him with distrusting eyes, loathing him for daring to steal your heart and plague your naive mind.

But they saw how happy you looked, how you beamed when your fiance held your hand, how you blushed when he tucked your hair behind your ear.

You were truly happy.

So as much as they hated the thought of someone kissing you and plaguing your innocence, they'd put up with it solely because you're happier than you've ever been.

They even do a background check on him, and he checks out. They've all accepted them, well- almost all of them.

Naoya is still in denial that you've dated someone, much less accepted someone's proposal. How had you been able to keep this charade up for years, right under his nose, is beyond him.

So, when you look to him for approval with those big doe eyes, it's really easy for him to say "Absolutely not." to you before leaving. You run after him, begging him to change his mind but all Naoya can think about is how that rat is gonna take you away and do disgusting things to you and traumatise you forever because clearly, no one else can protect you and love you like he does. All men are trash, all except him.

How tf is he supposed to let someone take away the child he raised himself? Youre his pride and joy, the only one to make him soft, the biggest pain in the ass, but you're his pain in the ass.

He simply won't let anyone take you.

Y/n: give me 1 good reason why I can't marry him-

Naoya, pulling out a list: he's too poor, so he can't maintain your lifestyle and will make you a poverty stricken child again. He's also very ugly, so he's not gonna give you good looking kids and he's not really handsome enough for the Zenin clan image. Also, you're stupid and naive to even date such an idiot in the first place-

Y/n: really? These are your reasons. They're ridiculous.

Naoya: ridiculous? They're absolutely valid-

Y/n: no, they're not. You're just jealous because no body wants to marry you.

Naoya:

Y/n:

Naoya:

Y/n: ugly ass ho-

Your poor s/o is just really confused when he comes for you, only to find you and your uncle Naoya fighting (more like Naoya putting you in chokehold while you pull hard at his hair) with each other.

[xycuro-illuminati]

I finally sat down and did a ref of Andrew Murdock Smith, the bitter exes stuntdevil clone son. Big thanks to my friends redfingrs and cowumbo-uwu for helping me fix up the design and finalize it.

DO NOT TAG AS M/CU

More info and art under cut

Andrew came from a shitpost What If idea of George obtaining the piece of the criminal cowboy DD suit that Johnny ghost rider damaged that contained Matt's blood and dead skin cells to create a clone son with his and Matt's DNA. The guy has connections and was able to obtain drugs specifically made to trick Matt's powers, why would he NOT know a scientist that can clone people. Made it into a way less-shitposty idea where George did that not only to get revenge on Matt but to have a true Stunt Master successor.

Andrew was made physically and mentally a grown adult in his mid-late 20's, but George still raised him for a bit. He tricks Andrew into believing that his other father, Daredevil, was a megalomaniac that was too dangerous to be around and that he needed to be put down, despite the news showing him as a hero. George showed Andrew "how Daredevil really is" with evidence of Matt's criminal cowboy days and even the shadowlands incident. He also convinced Andrew that he should the one to replace Matt as Daredevil while also being a Stunt Master successor. Eventually, Andrew got sick and tired of George because George sucks so bad as a parent, so he ran off to start his mercenary life. With enough training, he gained the name Infrared and goes after Daredevil. However, Andrew found out that DD had trained another vigilante before named Blindspot. So he decides to go after Sam first just to test him and get an idea of what to expect from fighting Matt. Andrew shows up randomly to challenge Sam many times until one fight led to Sam putting the pieces together.

After that particular exchange, Andrew finally goes after Matt. Sam had trouble finding/contacting Matt to ask questions, but Andrew got to Matt first. As explained in one of my late night ramble posts, Andrew had this idea of Matt in his head, expecting him to be arrogant, cruel, and downright malicious. The Daredevil that George described aligned more with how Matt acted during his criminal cowboy days, so Andrew was fully expecting that. He wasn't expecting Daredevil who refused to fight back after learning the truth, and wanted to help him instead. That shattered Andrew's world view and made him leave.

Later on, he comes around and tolerates Matt and his attempts at being a parent. As for Sam, they act like rivals. Sam can't stand his ass and wants to beat the shit out of him for all the trouble/injuries he's caused and Andrew just likes to annoy him and fights him for fun. Horrid stuntdevil offspring.

Andrew uses a kusarigama bc he thought it was similar to batons but sharper (and I thought it would look cool leave me alone). He also uses pistols and other types of guns, but mostly for his merc work rather than his I'm-going-to-fight-vigilantes-for-fun work.

Also I'll maybe draw his motorcycle in the future, idk, I imagine it's something like this: