#because he can must should and will blame himself for his siblings' shitty childhoods

[toxifoxx]

What is your William's relationship with his kids like

OKAY SO!!!

the gist of it: william very much loves and cares for his children, however he is a shitty parent and often ends up emotionally neglecting them. he's also overprotective and controlling, hence the cameras all over the place. he has an idealized version of them in his head and whenever they inevitably do not live up to that standard, william is disappointed. if he is Perfect, his family must be Perfect too.

now, into the specifics… (long as fuck so its under the cut)

michael: their relationship is rocky. michael was an accident, william didn't intend to have him and wasn't quite prepared. his arrival pressured william into marrying clara, to keep up appearances and what not. worse yet, william suffered from postpartum depression after giving birth to michael, so for the first year or so michael was continually dumped onto clara or sometimes henry. once michael became a toddler, though, william finally started bonding with him, and through his childhood years they had a pretty good relationship (michael liked to watch him make the animatronics). but when elizabeth and evan were born, michael got less and less attention since his siblings were favored over him (and despite william loving him, he still held a bit of resentment deep down). and so michael starts acting out for william's attention. and it works, but it creates a sort of feedback loop, because while he does get the attention, acting out also makes william neglect him more, because michael isn't living up to his ideals. and then after the bite, well. he just entirely gets the cold shoulder from william, the two of them barely ever interacting (at least if william can help it). things start to mellow out over time, but william refuses to take any part of the blame himself, so michael is always acutely aware his dad blames and resents him for what he did, even when he's trying to be outwardly loving.

elizabeth: the favorite of the bunch, probably because she's partially henry's :3c despite her ALSO being an accident, william is much fonder of her because she's henry's and also because he was actually ready to have kids/wanted more at that point in time. she is very typically spoiled by william, he gets her whatever she wants. and whenever he's actually paying attention to his children, she tends to get the most attention out of the three of them. she also starts taking after william in some ways, which makes him quite happy as she's the closest to matching his ideals. she's probably most willing(?) to fit into the mold of perfection and admires william a lot. looking at her, william can imagine a world where he and henry actually got to start a family together.

evan (CC): things are kinda complex with him. he was actually intentional so william is perfectly happy with his birth, no objections there. in his baby to toddler years he is incredibly favored and adored, with william spending a lot of time with him, even despite elizabeth. once he hits childhood though, william's perspective kind of shifts. because evan reminds him far too much of himself as a child. too timid, too weak, and crying far too much. the reminder of william's past is incredibly uncomfortable to him, which leads to him distancing himself a bit (though he still loves him... when he's not crying). and so the whole reason michael's bullying gets to go unchecked for so long is because william simply believes evan needs to toughen up, like will did when he was younger. william turned out completely fine (lie), so surely it should work for evan too, right? (spoiler alert. ummm)

(bonus, something subject to change (i need to bounce it around in my head a bit more): i like the idea of william potentially having a child before michael in his college years, but losing it due to a miscarriage. thus leading to the dislike for having michael so soon afterwards, and to his devastation at losing his other children. and also the fact the springlock incident renders him essentially infertile (or at least can't get pregnant without danger), alongside his age - he can't have any more children, and there is no replacing what he lost.)

[neuronary]

tua au where after five leaves (and stops helping klaus get out of personal training), klaus has a really bad panic attack in front of vanya. she offers him some of her pills to help because they're thirteen and stupid. klaus is like "these make the ghosts go away like... completely. they're all just gone. like they were never there." and it's different from weed which makes them look significantly more ghostly (translucent, silent/muffled, blurry, etc.). so vanya is like... "well, you take them then. i'll be okay. it's not like i have powers that need to be stopped."

[spongebob narrator voice] three days later...

so that was a fucking lie. vanya figures out about her powers and reggie figures out about the pill swap. he tries to get allison to rumour everyone into forgetting, but she can't rumour herself, so she creates a code phrase to snap them out of it and remember when she needs to. she eventually uses it but, once again, vanya's powers make themselves known very obviously (or, for spice, luther rats them out). this time, reggie just gives up and starts forcing vanya to take the pills and locks allison up in the vault downstairs to make sure she's scared enough of him that she'll do what he says next time.

things... sort of return to normal? aside from vanya trying to rediscover her powers every few months (aided very covertly by grace, who eventually helps her lower the dosage of the pills so she doesn't go through such heavy withdrawals). they keep going on missions, ben still dies, but this time klaus can't see him (angst time + outsider POV) so he doesn't spend as much time haunting them before he comes back to life. (no matter what, She needs the hargreeves alive.) vanya grows much closer to the rest of her siblings, particularly luther because they relate about a weird amount. they're still split apart a Lot by ben's death. klaus, who hasn't had steady enough access to vanya's pills to avoid his addiction (and they don't help with the trauma anyway), and allison both leave almost immediately after, followed by diego. vanya tries to convince luther to leave but he won't, so she goes without him. (they try to stay in touch but it's difficult what with reginald.) luther still goes to the moon, allison still becomes a movie star (although she never rumours claire because she's learned about the seriousness of her rumours much earlier on), vanya is in constant but friendly competition with helen cho for first chair but still teaches as her main gig, diego still becomes a vigilante, although he spends a lot more time getting patched up by vanya, who keeps trying to get him to go to therapy and get his shit together so that he can reunite with patch. (so sue her, vanya's invested.) klaus carries on with his drugs and is harrowing enough to know that his siblings don't do much more than fund his rehab attempts when he sends them the bill.

then, on march 24th of 2019, thirteen-year-old number five drops out of the sky, directly into his dad's funeral, to the excited yells of his six year old niece.

[jaekyungsrustyattitude]

Touya’s Stolen Identity - part 1!

So, I was going to rant and talk about Touya’s backstory once we got the second part, however I have decided I’ll write two parts based around Touya’s past. Before I start I just want to say that this is MY own opinion and thoughts on the chapter, so yeah there that! Anyways here we have part 1 of Touya’s stolen identity!

I think we should start with the marriage of Rei and Enji!

So we already knew that it was an arranged/quirk marriage, but one thing it has sort of cleared up was whether it was forced or not. Well, this is where it gets a bit iffy and sort of implies, because you could say ‘see it wasn’t forced’ but you can also say it was, we see who we can guess is Rei’s father sat with Rei and Endeavor and Rei’s face is not one of a woman happy to get married. I’m not saying she looks scared or terrified, but it’s definitely not a happy face or a face of someone who’s happy with this choice. Whether she was given the choice to say no is not really given, so I can’t say she was forced or wasn’t forced but the next point drives home. Rei only agreed to this marriage for her family’s sake, not for herself or because she wanted to but for her family. And like sure she said yes to it, but like saying yes to something for the sake of someone else is not exactly a positive thing at all! There isn’t really anything else I can say about this, other than it was a marriage no way built on love or positive grounds in my opinion!

Moving on, I want to get straight into my thoughts of Touya, and his tragic childhood! So we all know that the only reason Endeavor had Touya was because he wanted a successor to surpass All Might, and from what we can see Touya was ok with that. Ok so hear me out, he wasn’t like Shouto who hated training no it’s pretty clear that he enjoyed training with his father. To the point that when Endeavor stopped it, he felt lost and upset over it! Now of course Endeavor stopped the training due to the quirk hurting his body, well that was probably the only good thing he did as a father! However, it’s how he handled it afterwards that drives home, that he was NOT a good father!

It is pretty clear that he distanced himself from Touya after stopping the training (on his day off he’s going somewhere instead of spending it with his kid maybe he’s got errands but who knows), and though he speaks to him about why he stopped it! It was too late; he had already planted the seed in Touya’s head, and Touya himself mentioned this along with the fact. That he couldn’t escape the idea of being a hero even at school, because everyone at school wanted to be heroes!

Like that must really suck because from day one he was told he was the one! He was the one who’s going to fulfill his father’s dream, and become the hero his father wants him to be by surpassing All Might! Then suddenly it’s gone, his father selfishly planted his ambition on him, an ambition/obsession that he himself couldn’t even get over, and then he wants him to forget it to find something else to do! Ignoring the fact the he himself injected that obsession into Touya, he himself made Touya feel like all he was good for was surpassing All Might!

We also know that Touya would go crying to Natsuo questioning his own existence, and see that is the damaged Endeavor caused by essentially feeding the idea to his son ‘that he was going to be the one to surpass All Might’! And then doing a 180 and saying he couldn’t due to his quirk which Touya could not understand! But that’s not it Endeavor essentially by neglecting him once his quirk became incompatible with his body, would have gave Touya the thought that he’s not good enough for his father now!

It’s also not just down to him feeling like his identity was stolen, but down to the simple fact that he 1) wanted to make his father proud and 2) he probably wanted to spend time and bond with his father. So, obviously most little boys want to make their father proud(kids in general want to please their parents to some extent), especially if said father placed a big burden on their head - surpassing All Might! Then with the bonding, we can bet that Endeavor never bothered with spending time with Touya outside of training! That alone probably means that Touya linked training with his father as bonding time, and the only time he could really gain his father’s love and attention! So when it all stopped and his father stopped spending time with him, he felt lost, neglected and like he meant nothing. That is probably one of the reasons why Touya is always saying ‘look at me’ to Endeavor!

He was trying to prove himself, and trying to gain back that attention that ‘love’ he had before! So then Touya went on to train by himself, essentially self-harming himself to prove himself and as time went on his mental health deteriorated! Which only got worse, as Endeavor went on to suggest more children under the ‘guise’ of doing it for Touya! Which may I point out also makes him a sucky father not just because it was cruel for Touya but because of this:

A doctor told him it was taboo, that it would be best he quits now because essentially he could end up with another child like Touya. Who’s quirk was dangerous to their own body, but yep let’s try another two times! And if those two times failed what then? Would he do it again and again until he got what he wanted! Probably we already know he was pig headed and stubborn, he said so himself! So anyways, we know that he suggested more children, and Touya was of age to know the meaning of this. He was being replaced! Rei even said to Endeavor that it was ‘too cruel’ and that Touya was aware of Endeavor’s motives!

That look on his face, as Natsuo is born(Baby Natsuo is so cute) is not a happy face or a ugh I’m getting another sibling face! It’s in fact quite haunting, not as haunting as the one he has when Shouto is born, but you can see the dread and realisation that he’s being replaced! Now, of course Natsuo ends up being pushed to the sidelines, but you gotta understand that would hurt as a kid. To try and prove yourself to your father, and then to watch as he essentially works to replace you. Then comes Shouto’s birth which essentially is the final nail in the coffin, or at least is the start of the nail in the coffin.

Touya’s face is haunting he realises this is the one, this is the sibling that is going to replace him. And Endeavor’s face would have heightened that idea! So essentially we have Touya, who’s mental health was already deteriorating, finally reaching a breaking point as he attacks a newborn Shouto! Now, I don’t know what happened after the attack, I do believe they probably didn’t take him to therapy like they should have but I’ll bring that up more in part 2 and when we get chapter 302! I just believe this chapter has shown us how Touya was failed from the start, and showed us how he broke under the pressure of being given an ambition and then neglected by his father. So to conclude this post I just want to say, I do not think Touya was simply a bratty kid who couldn’t take no as an answer or was just throwing a tantrum and he was in no way to blame for feeling like he felt as a child! Oh and for god sake he was also not just simply a bad seed, another shitty take I see people spitting out and it makes me rage! It was a lot deeper than that, and Hori was trying to show us that it is a lot deeper than a bratty child who refused to listen! This flashback was to show that while yes Endeavor wasn’t as monstrous as he was with Shouto, he still failed as a parent as did Rei to some extent hence why she mentioned that he wasn’t the only one who failed to look at Touya!(though she was a victim too, and was suffering just as much and was not the main cause of Touya’s breakdown like endeavor was and I don’t think she should be held as responsible as Endeavor due to her circumstances and own deteriorating health).

[kazbrkker]

Chapter 5: The Way It Was

Chapter summary: Fluff and angst. Price finally makes an appearance! First fight between Alexis and Alex and an interesting revelation...;) & glimpse of Alexis’ childhood. [2404 words]

Warnings: Shitty childhood (mention of alcohol & rough childhood.)

26 OCTOBER 2019, 2200 "Alexis" and "Alex", Codename Aces CIA agents with Urzik militia Al-Raab, Urzikstan.

"What was that?"

Alexis stormed forward, harshly jabbing her partner's back. They were taking the scenic walk back to the militia's base. While Farah and Hadir walked ahead of them, Alexis and Alex lagged behind to breath in the scenes of their victory.

"What was what?" Alex perplexed, cheekily plucking a few yellow chrysanthemums off the road and waving it in her face.

Alexis took the tiny flowers, a warm smile on display as she admired the adversity these flowers had to bloom in a place like this. Then it faltered upon realising it was an attempt to distract her. "You radioed Viper for me. That's against the rules."

Alex quickly brushed her off and walked into the militia's armory, Alexis hot on his trail. Standing in silence as they waited for the room to clear. "Since when are you one for following the rules? What, you wanted to personally say bye to him?"

What the hell, that took her by surprise. Where did that come from? "I only follow the rules to keep you out of trouble. Sorry for caring."

The hardened look in Alex's eye softened, "I was doing you a favour, come on! Viper was outrightly hitting on you over the comms. If Laswell wanted to bitch about it, you could get dragged into his mess." He shrugged and busied himself with removing his gear.

"Because minor flirting is worse than trashy comms etiquette?"

Alex stretched obnoxiously loud.

"No, fraternization is." That stung more than it should.

"That's a bit hypocritical, isn't it?" Spurts of anger gnawing at her rationale incited her to spit those words without hesitation —instantly regretting it. From the nostalgic look on Alex's face, he must have realised they were in a loop again. The last time they had this conversation, it didn't end well.

To put this delicately, Alexis and Alex were no strangers at fraternization. It happened one time after she returned from St. Petersburg, a drunken mistake that Alex agreed. Overtaken by choking wave of emotions —vulnerability, lust, the need to feel safe. It was the first time Alexis was desperate enough to ask for something, and Alex gave it to her. Like moths drawn to a flame, lonely agents like themselves, cut off from the rest of the world, take whatever comfort they can get.

They left that night without ever mentioning it again. Only the next drunken time (clearly not a good drinker) when she accidentally mentioned it —her mistake for assuming it meant... more.

Alex assured her it wasn't. It did some serious damage to their friendship for a while. After a few weeks, everything snapped back into the exact same, best friends and partners for life.

Now, leaning against a counter, she searched for any answers in his eyes. One thought crossed her mind —maybe he was jealous...? Impossible, she deserted the thought, Alex had never been the jealous type.

Plus, what happened was a one-time thing. It wouldn't, or rather, couldn't happen again. Alexis couldn't lose him too.

"Maybe." Alex murmured, refusing to meet her eyes, his jaw clenched tight while cleaning his rifle, the chiselled jawline highlighted from his profile. Wide-eyed, the female agent slowly cleared her throat, scattering to form a reply.

Alex's satellite phone rang, breaking the tense silence. Saved by the bell.

Speak of her and she shall appear —it was Laswell.

Alex hesitated, did Laswell really wanted to bitch about it? He was blindly shooting from the hip. The palpable tension dissolved, replaced by a flustered Alexis. His lips pursed in amusement, "Laswell wouldn't. I'm pretty sure she has a soft spot for you."

Alexis was smart, confident, witty, resourceful, strong —the strongest person he knew. Resilience built steadily like a rock, he could write lists after lists. Alex wasn't blind, who wouldn't have a soft spot for this woman.

"This is Bravo 6, Echo 3-1 and Saint, do you copy?" It was Price.

A nudge shook Alex out of his trance. Excited at the appearance of her mentor, Alexis snatched the phone from his grasps. It was a relief to know Price was on the mission too. Looks like this assignment was really bringing her old friends back together.  "Price? Send traffic, Cap."

"Good job, hitting the airbase. Now that you have limited Barkov's air capability, we'll do our part."

"Glad we could help. What's the plan?" Alex replied to his field commander.

"We traced the masterminds of the Piccadilly attack to a townhouse in North London, we'll take care of it. You can put your feet up and rest."

"That is a command I can follow. Have fun, cap." Alexis spoke, ready to end the call.

"Not so fast, young lady. I was at the debrief, I managed to keep you out of trouble. If it was up to Norris, you'd be running laps like Viper. Don't get stupid, Alexis."

Alexis exhaled frustratedly. "Thanks, Cap." She replied in between scowls in response to the burning triumph look from Alex. His hands covering his mouth to muffle his wide smile. By taking his side, Price had inflated his ego unnecessarily bigger.

"But, you still have to run 5 miles for your insolence towards Laswell." Price delivered the ultimatum.

Her jaw slacked. "You're joking. Says Norris?"

"Colonel Norris." Price corrected with a sigh. "Says me. I told you one day that mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble. 5 miles. Alex?"

Alex exploded into laughters, no longer trying to suppress it. "Hah, roger that! I'll make sure of it. Out."

The call ended. Alexis had respect for authorities, to a certain extent. It wasn't impertinence, but rather her conditioned nature to bypass it. Coming from Task Force Black —a tier-one task force in the JSOC that didn't even answer to the President, falling into the chain of commands was never needed. Also might have to do with the fact that she started to detest the political bureaucracy over the years in the CIA.

John Price, Daniel Maddox —Alexis' commander in Task Force Black, and Samuel Forbes —her CIA handler were the only ones she would willingly abide. Kate Laswell was also close.

"Is this a bro code thing?" Alexis motioned in between them and the satellite phone, inspecting Alex as he raised his eyebrows in feigned innocence. "Price doing the dirty work on your behalf?"

"You heard the man, he said it was for your insolence."

"Wipe that smirk off your face." She mumbled, trying to use a dirty cloth to wipe his chin but he stopped her. If looks could kill... you know the rest.

"Let's go, babe. I'll time you."

"Aw. How kind." She retorted, thinking how badly she wanted to dig those blue eyes out from that arrogant face of his.

40 minutes later, a very sweaty and out-of-breath Alexis returned to the starting point. "5 miles... 5 god damn miles." She breathed, catching a towel and water bottle tossed her way. The entire 40 minutes was filled with killer glances towards Alex. They both knew the punishment wasn't for her insolence. Price wasn't the type to demand respect for other officers, the man could care less and so could Laswell.

This was an indirect way to lecture her, the brotherhood they had caused Price to take Alex's side. Judging from the glowing delight, this ought to satisfy him. Her punishment attracted a few audiences, including Hadir and Farah, who watched happily with her enemy on the roof.

"40 minutes on the dot. Impressive." Farah shouted from above. Hadir excitedly nodded, showing thumbs-ups.

Past the fourth mile, even her vision started to swirl. Blame the ever humid Urzikstan, it was insane she completed it without hurling. "I don't want to impress... I need a seat!" So she willingly fell on her butt and sat in the middle of the carpark.

They joined her shortly, grinning at her flushed cheeks and breathless words. Farah extended a hand and pulled the CIA agent up, "Steady now. Alex, why did you make her run so much!" She chided, elbowing him.

"Not me. It was Price."

"Keep lying, I'll harvest your toes." Farah gave a weird look at her insult. "All I have to do is look Price in the eye and he's a goner." Alex remained suspiciously silent, but yelped when Farah jabbed him in the gut. As revenge, Alexis smacked her sweaty towel against his tattooed arm, disgusted as he failed to swat it away.

Farah, who supported her to walk, didn't seem to care about her sweaty state. "Farah."

The commander hummed, bringing her inside the kitchen to sit. Hadir refilled her bottle.

"Would you like it if Alex and I trained your people? We can teach them some proper fighting tactics and medic courses. With your permission, of course."

Farah took a seat opposite her, mouth opening slightly before closing, as if she was unsure what to say. Hadir, witnessing this, said with a smile, "That would be extremely kind, Alexis."

A bright glint that could be interrupted as a tear reflected in the commander's eyes. Farah's hand squeezed hers tightly. Eyes crinkling upwards, Alexis knew that was her way of saying thanks.

"Great. We start tomorrow."

The two siblings soon left Alexis and Alex in the kitchen to unload some trucks that just entered the compound. He replaced Farah on the seat, "That is a great idea, Lexi."

Finally, some wind started blowing into the kitchen. She closed her eyes at the relieving night breeze. After today's mission, seeing how Farah's people fearlessly ran into the battlefield was reason enough to help them. Although a good trait, fearlessness can also be dangerous. "I want to help them. We were trained by the best in the world, it would be cruel not to share some of that knowledge."

They sat in silence, feeling the cool air while quenching their thirst. Putting their feet up, as Price ordered. Outside the kitchen, playful insults were thrown around by the pair of siblings. It was heartwarming, seeing genuine smiles and watching them be... normal. It was nice.

Growing up, Alexis wouldn't complain she had a bad childhood. Her dad was an honest man, a construction worker. For a man with such a harsh job, it translated into his personality. Her father wasn't affectionate, but he played a good father by putting a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Her life was normal, up till the very day her mother got into a fatal car accident, then everything changed. It was never said but Alexis knew her father blamed her for it. She only grew up to realise it was ridiculous. How could it have been her fault? But grief knew no sense.

Life waited for no one, years later, her father remarried. Lily was a great stepmother, not conforming to the stereotypical evil stepmom Alexis was so afraid of. Lily loved her, but not as much as her blood-borns.

Loved her, but not enough to stop the drunk shoutings, that much Alexis understood.

Alexis didn't remember much of her mother, only recognizing her face through photos. They looked nothing alike —her mother was blonde and had bright blue eyes, while Alexis inherited dark brown eyes and hair. For a man who held an imperative amount of self-loathing, imagine raising his reflection.

She envied the pair of siblings, even after everything, they still had each other. Seeing them together somehow felt lonelier. Emptier.

"I can hear the gears turning." Alex placed his chin on her shoulder, the action bringing her back down on Earth. She sniffled inconspicuously, pretending to use the damp towel to wipe her sweat. "What's wrong?"

"Why must something be wrong?"

"You're making that face."

Friends for five years, it would be foolish to assume something could escape his eyes. Goosebumps raised over her arms, feeling the stubble on his chin tickling her skin. She turned to examine the man who had been through everything with her. Hell and back, literally.

Alexis didn't know how she could ever live without him.

"Just reminiscing." She replied, a distant look in her eyes while she continued smiling at the siblings' bickering. Alex followed her gaze, knowing.

"The past is the past, Alexa–" Alex almost uttered her birth name but stopped in the nick of time. "Sorry, it slipped." His voice was muffled by Alexis' hand.

"You get my point. What matters is the now, and now you have me."

"I'll always have you." She recited, hands intertwined.

The usual smirk on Alex's face was replaced with a heartfelt smile, their gaze connected meaningfully. "And I, you." He laid a gentle kiss on the top of her hand.

Alexis and Alex stayed like that for a few more minutes, her head resting on his shoulder. Suddenly, a sound pierced through the peace —it came from Alex's stomach. Alexis laughed before tossing him her rations pack.

"Uh-huh. No. You two are not eating that." Farah walked in to snatch the rations away. Their mouths fell open, watching their favourite ration pack out of their reach.

"Hey! That was shrimp fried rice, proper good stuff!"

"Closest to gourmet." Alex backed her up. It was the tastiest ration pack. Alexis even secretly raided the base's stockpile to neat pick the most decent ones —there goes her efforts.

Farah tossed the unopened pack to Hadir, who caught it with ease and wiggled it higher when Alexis tried to reach for it. "You cannot win this war with... that." Hadir inspected it, face twisted with distasteful when he opened it, revealing an unappealing mash of rice compressed into a box.

Farah tugged on her wrist, already pulling her down the stairs. "If you don't throw it away, I will tell Captain Price about your horrible English accent.

Alexis groaned, "If this war wouldn't kill me, Price would."

"Better yet, he'll make you run the miles for real."

Her lips parted with a gasp, pointing accusingly as Farah continued to drag her down the stairs. "So you admit it was you!"

"Come." Hadir pulled away the agent who tried to jump Alex with a punch.

"We will show you the real gourmet."

taglist: @flyboidameron​

a/n: it was my birthday yesterday so i decided we need this fluff.... it's so 🥰. masterlist here. want to be tagged? let me know!

[screamfairy1996]

Saying Goodbye to My Angel.

Axel woke up from yet another nightmare where Roxas blamed him for his death and screamed that Hikari doesn`t deserve a coward like him as a father. Roxas asked where was he when that monster cut and fucked him so much he bled. Roxas in the dream said he should have left him when he had a chance. Roxas screamed that he hated Axel and that he deserved better than be with a shitty Alpha. Axel rubbed his red eyes and merely huddled under the blankets. Then suddenly, the baby monitor . Axel sighed .Their nine month old daughter is crying again. She must be hungry or needs changing again.

He walked out of his room and walked to Hikari's nursery to hear his little girl crying and wailing in her crib, the nine month old was crying at the top of her lungs and flinging her arms everywhere. Axel walked over bent down picking her up and began rocking her gently. Axel picks up the the formula and placed near her lips. Hikari sucked on the bottle for a minute before pulling back and spitting on Axel`s face. She cried out loudly. Axel sighed in frustration. His face was covered in milk, some even got in his mouth. Axel spits out the bitter taste. Now He knows how Hikari felt when tasting the formula.  He sniffs her for odor. Nothing. He checked her diaper and she was clean. So why was Hikari crying.  “Oh.” Axel thought. She`s sick with a stomach flu and needs the medicine the doctor prescribed him.  Axel carried the screaming baby to the kitchen. He placed her on the rocker while preparing for her medicine.  Hikari calms down while the rocker moves slowly in a rhythm that made the baby stop crying instantly. It took Axel to find the medicine. He picks up Hikari again and placed her on the high chair.  Axel then placed a bib on her, knowing Hikari could vomit anytime. Axel opens the bottle and pours the liquid into the dispenser. Axel then placed the dispenser near the baby`s mouth. Hikari coughs for a bit before swallowing the bitter taste. “Good girl.” Axel cooed. He gets up to cabinet to look for baby food. He finds the Gerber sweet potato and moves to fridge where a warm bottle of milk reside. He prepares the two items and placed them on the table. Axel grabs a spoon and begin to feed Hikari. Hikari absolutely loved sweet potato, so it wasn`t a problem for Axel. Once he`s done feeding his daughter, He gives Hikari the bottle and much to his surprise, She actually takes it from him. Axel smiled sadly. She has no idea, that her mama is gone and he knows she`ll ask questions about him when she gets older. Axel fights off tears as he picks up Hikari and grabs a rag to put it on his shoulder, Axel pats Hikari`s back for a few seconds before she burps and pukes on the rag. Axel then spends the rest of the morning, eating breakfast, changing Hikari`s diaper, and getting ready for the funeral. Axel was dressed in his suit while Hikari was wearing a black dress and shoes. Axel stares at himself in the mirror. Reno should be here by now. A car`s honk confirms it. Axel sighs before grabbing Hikari and her diaper bag and leaving the house. But not before, locking the house.

One hour later.

The church where the funeral was taking place, was rather grim and dark. Rather fitting to this sad day. Axel sat in the couch, watching his friends. Xion and Sora were crying together, holding one and another, while Riku and Kairi watched in sadness. Demyx,  Larxene,Reno,Rude,and even ole Xigbar was here. Three of Roxas`s high school friends were here as well, but of course, his own family didn't`t showed up. They didn`t even called when Roxas went missing or fly over to identify the body. Axel noticed Saix leaning to the door. They haven`t talk much since Axel graduated and moved to Japan with Roxas. They kinda drifted apart by the time Axel got together with Roxas. “What`s he doing here?” Axel thought as he watched Saix talked to Xemnas. “Great, He bought Mansex here, too.” He groaned in his mind. Axel sighed, bouncing Hikari who was chewing her toy.  The parishioner opens the doors and come in. “Casket`s ready for viewer.” Axel`s tears came back and the crowd allows father and daughter to walk toward the casket which laid Roxas. A large portrait of Roxas stood next to the casket.  Axel looked at the open casket. Roxas was dressed in formal wear. His face was still adorned with bruises but he still looked beautiful to Axel. “Angel.” Axel whimpered sadly. He clutched Hikari tighter. He fell on his knees and caressed Roxas`s cold face. “Roxas.... my....angel..... Sometimes I just wish you were here so I could tell you how much I need you and how hard every day has been without you.  It hurts to breathe because every breath I take proves I can't live without you.  As I go on living without you, I go on without a huge piece of myself.  All I know is that I'm lost without you. Counting the seconds until we’re together again, doesn’t heal my loneliness. I miss you so much Angel.  You were the one I loved. I miss you.” Axel broke down crying, holding Hikari. “Hikari missed you so much.  She`s crying for you. Why? Why did you leave her? Hikari loved you.... Hikari needed you.  She was crying all the time and she got so sick. I didn`t know what to do.” Axel cried. Hikari babbled something.  “We missed you already. We love you so much.” Axel gets up and tells Hikari. “Say goodbye to Mommy. Mommy`s with the angels now.” Hikari touched Roxas`s face and cooed. Axel sniffed and choked on his sobs as he sits down with Hikari, sobbing but before giving Roxas a loving kiss on his lips. Axel held Hikari tighter and cried so much tears while his friends went to pay the respect.  A few minutes passed and soon everyone is seated while the priest comes to the microphone and tap the microphone. “Today, We have gathered today for the life of Roxas McCartney. A young life brutally torn apart by depravity, by cowardice, by lack of regard.  This boy has left behind a mate and a child who`s not even a year old.  His mate and the father of their daughter. Axel Flynn is here to give his eulogy along with Roxas`s two childhood friends, Sora and Xion.  The three with Hikari in Axel`s arms come up and to the podium. Axel and Hikari.

Axel took a deep breath. “Thank you all for coming. It`s nice to see familiar faces. Axel looked at Saix. “I first met Roxas back in his final year of middle school. He was so shy and when I first saw him, He was this angel and he was so beautiful.  I walked to him and said. “Name`s Axel. Got it memorized?” Weak chuckles filled the room. “We became best friends and I looked after him and Xion like they`re were my siblings. Eventually, our friendship got stronger over time and I fell in love with him. I confessed after a few months of knowing each other and He returned. Then, after another few months of dating , I was about to graduate early and Roxas was in his freshman year. We got a little too closer and Roxas eventually got pregnant with our princess. He thought I would leave him once I finished school but I never wanted to leave him. And to be honest, I was terrified.  I was turning 17 and was gonna be a dad. But I`d never run out on my Roxy.  Roxas then made the choice to drop out just so he could be a full time mom to our sea salt.  He was a great mom. We made the decision to move to Japan to give our daughter the life she deserves. Not that helped Roxas.” Axel mumbled bitterly.  He kissed the top of Hikari`s head. “We were great parents . We love our baby girl very much. We endured sleepless nights to care of this princess.  When Roxas first went missing,  My heart were torn, I was so scared for my angel. God knows my angel didn`t deserve any bad thing. He was the sweetest and purest boy and my beloved soulmate. Roxas, I`m so sorry, I failed you. I looked everywhere for you and I failed as a protector.  I wish you knew how much it destroyed me when you died and left me and Hikari behind. Yes, I am thinking about you right now and I miss you so much.  Imagining a life without you is something that is impossible, you make me complete and I want you to know you mean everything to me. I hope that one day that I can live happy again with Hikari but right now, I can`t. Do you know something else?  The saddest part in life is saying goodbye to someone you wish to spend your lifetime with. I wanted to ask you to marry me and expand our family but our dreams and hopes have been crushed. It hurts when you have someone in your heart, but you can't have them in your arms. Letting you go wasn't the hardest part. Still loving you afterwards was. I love you, Roxas. My beloved angel.  I just close my eyes because I might see your face. I just close my mouth because I might hear your voice. I just close my ears because I might hear of you, but I could not close my heart because I love you. My Roxy. Me and Hikari love you so much. Axel cried softy as he step down and Xion joins in with tissues in her hand.

“Roxas and I have been friends since we were little. We looked after each other and supported one and another. I was happy for him and Axel. I love their daughter Hikari. Roxas was a good mommy to her. He always put her needs above his own. Roxas was a sweetest and kind boy who always smiles.  Roxas was a great friend. A strong and loving person, real, bold, compassionate ,generous, sweet, gentle and exceedingly affectionate because he cared. A loyal friend and great listener. He`s forgiving and sees the good in everyone. Roxas, I love you like a brother. You`re my big brother. You were a good mother to my niece and she`s is so lucky to have you as her mother.  I`ve had such a good time with Roxas. We defended each other from bullies and I went out of my way to kick some jerk who was making comments about him. Roxas,   Only a true friend would be that truly honest and that`s you. I love you. I miss you.” Xion broke down in sobs and Axel leads her, comforting each other. Sora takes a deep breath and went to the microphone.

“I met Roxas when we were only little kids. I was a brother to him. I did everything I`ve could to get the bullies off his back but they always persist and  One even called me “A Knucklehead McSpazatron.”  Riku and Kairi shakes their heads at Sora`s statement, laughing. “Roxas always forgives his bullies and always stood up for me. He even let me babysit Hikari who adores her Uncle Sora.” Sora fights back sobs. “I miss you so, baby brother and I`ll look after Hikari and Axel for you, I promise and I love you.” Sora got down. He then breaks down crying and Riku and Kairi rushes to comfort him.

After the priest`s speech. The casket was closed, much to Axel`s discomfort.  The priest called for the pallbearers to come and take the casket to the cemetery. Axel was surprised to Saix getting up and assisting. The crowd walked slowly in a gloomy and cloudy day. There were tears, crying,and pure silence. Few of the guests held doves in their hands.  They stopped at he burial site. The coffin was lowered in the hole while Axel cried ,tears to pain. Axel hands Hikari to Xion before collapsing in his knees and went full on sobbing. “Roxas....my....angel.” Axel stuttered in great pain. He hears someone knelt beside him and laid a hand on his back. Axel lifts up to see Saix looking at him with great sympathy and pity. Axel weakly looked at him with a broken look before returning to crying again. The doves were released and flow over the cemetery. In the gravestone, read “Roxas McCartney. Beloved son, friend,brother, and mother. May you always be in our hearts.”  Axel got up after crying his pain out. A hour has passed and the crowd looked the coffin with great sadness. Saix kept a eye on Axel. He noticed someone and growls with anger. “What are you doing here?” He demanded.

Chase comes in, hands in his pocket. “Just heard happened to Roxas. Such a shame.” Chase sighed. Axel didn`t even notice Chase. He was staring off into space.

“Explain yourself.” Saix demanded, baring his teeth.

Reno jumps in, glaring at Chase. “This asshole is on a trip. I told him to stay the hell away from Axel or else, there will be hell to pay.”

“You`re a piece of work, you know that, Chase? Showing up on the worst time.” Rude said.

“So this is the dude that gave Roxas and Xion a hard time during high school?” Xigbar asked.

“Yeah, A perverted scumbag who invades girls’ privacy. He tried to sneak in the girls` locker room many times.” Kairi said.

“Thinks Omegas are lesser beings.” Riku seethed.

“Peeked at me, undressing and tried to feel me under my skirt.” Xion shuddered.

“Spread rumors about Roxas sleeping with other guys behind Axel`s back and told everyone he`s the school`s whore and slut shamed him on the internet.” Sora spats out. “He`s the reason, Roxas and Xion are being called sluts at school. He`s the reason, that Roxas dropped out of school, when he got pregnant because Chase was getting too violent.” Sora added.

“Why are you even here?” Saix demanded at Chase who shrugged.

“I heard Axel made a mistake of leaving poor Roxas all alone with no backup.” Chase said.

“Chase, don`t do this.” Sora pleaded.

“He left him all alone while him and the bastard kid of theirs went for a nice walk while Roxas was being kidnapped. Who knows. Maybe He left to strip naked for money.’” Chase laughed,

“It`s not funny,” Xion scolded.

“Axel, are you sure, she`s yours. Roxas could have slept with anyone before you.”

Axel growls. “You watch your mouth.’‘

“That little breeder whore probably went to you after the deadbeat father ran out on him. Are you even sure, she`s yours? Axel was probably not the first guy, he screwed. That little bastard-” Chase was cut off by Axel running to him and punching him so hard . Saix didn`t even try to stop Axel.

“DON`T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER, LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!” Axel yelled.

‘‘Hey, Saix, tell that bitch to cool his jets.” Chase said, holding his bruised jaw.

Saix could`t take Chase`s degrading bullshit anymore and went to him. “ You're a fucking lying son of a bitch, Chase, all right? And I fucking hope you go to hell.” Saix glared.

“Don`t make this worse, Saix.” Xion pleaded.

Shut the fuck up, Xion, you fucking stupid slutty skunk cunt!” Chase taunted.

“Get out of here, Chase, you`re out of control.” Sora butts.

Chase turns around to face Sora. SHUT THE FUCK UP, SORA!!! You whore! Fucking skinny, dick-sucking omega whore!!!!  You`re annoying, you know that? I really do. Because all you do is fucking prance around school with that hot chick Kairi and bragged about that useless ruffian. I`LL TELL YOU, WHAT!!!! All you`ve done is be super annoying to everyone and always follow Riku around like a fucking dog!! Riku doesn`t want to be with a slut like you. Sora turns his head down. “YEAH!!!’’ Chase finished.

The crowd stood there in silence.

Chase looked at Axel who was glaring at him with such hate. “You know, speaking of rumors. I heard this red trash no good Alpha dick Axel falsely accuse two dumb asses Drew Rodgers and Floyd Wilson and kicked their asses. Then the wimpy little slut Roxas then bitched at him. You think Axel is a good mate?” Chase sneered. The crowd glared at Chase’s obnoxious behavior. Chase then continues. “Then, That day, He got poor little Roxas brutally killed by letting that man sneak into his house.” Chase’s voice gets louder. “Axel got his mate killed. He killed Roxas.”

“Shut up, Chase.” Demyx muttered

“He got Roxas killed. He killed Roxas.” Chase continues.

“Chase, Shut up.” Demyx repeated

“Axel got Roxas killed. He killed Roxas.” Chase repeats

“Come on,  Chase. Shut up!!” Reno yelled.

“AXEL GOT ROXAS KILLED. HE KILLED ROXAS!!!!” Chase starts yelling.

“Stop it, Chase!!” Xion cried.

Chase just repeated which made Axel angrier and heavy breathed.

“You can`t talk about people like that, Chase,” Sora scolded.

Chase just saying it.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, CHASE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” Saix exploded, slamming his fist into the wall.

Axel advances on Chase and started to beat the fucker up. Axel kept punching Chase out of anger. Soon, Saix, Riku. Reno, Rude, and Demyx went over to pull the angry Alpha off the scumbag. “SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!! YOU DON`T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!!!!” Axel screamed in rage. “ YOU DON`T KNOW ANYTHING!!!! YOU DON`T CARE...’’ Axel stopped and panted heavily.

Security comes in after hearing the commotion. Riku explains the situation to them from which the guards take Chase away.  Xion went to tend to Axel while the crowd tries to settle the tensions. Soon they proceed to watch the hole while the song in the radio held by Demyx, starts.

I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd Need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie Is made up on your side When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now? When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missin' you When you're gone The face I came to know is missin', too When you're gone The words I need to hear To always get me through the day And make it okay I miss you I've never felt this way before Everything that I do Reminds me of you And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor And they smell just like you I love the things that you do When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now? When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missin' you When you're gone The face I came to know is missin', too When you're gone The words I need to hear To always get me through the day And make it okay I miss you We were made for each other Out here forever I know we were Yeah, yeah And all I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do, I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me Yeah When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missin' you When you're gone The face I came to know is missin', too When you're gone The words I need to hear Will always get me through the day And make it okay I miss you

“I miss you so much.” Axel whimpered,watching the hole being covered by dirt. Soon, the crowd leaves, expressing their sympathies and condolences to Axel and Hikari. Ezra once texted Axel that while he is unable to join them. Him and his family express their deepest apologies and wishes him and Hikari the best of luck. Soon Xion and Sora stayed behind to stare at the gravestone with Axel.

One Month Later.

Axel sat on the couch with Hikari in his lap in his new home. He didn`t want to leave the old one but it hold too many memories, not to mention, that place is where Roxas was kidnapped. His friends pleaded him to start fresh but Axel soon cut off contact again. None of them ever really understood on what`s he been through. Axel`s entire well being was extremely pale and ghost like. Axel sniffs and picks up a picture frame of Roxas from the glass table. He stares at it. Hikari who just learned to walk on her own, noticed the picture. “Mama?” She babbled. Axel`s breath hitches upon hearing Hikari hearing her first word. ‘What?” Axel asked his daughter., The baby babbled once again, “Mama?” Axel gritted his teeth. He can`t do this anymore. All this pain and agony. It`s too much for him to bear. Maybe Hikari`s better off without him. He can`t get her to stop crying. She`s been fussy and won`t take formula. Axel lost count on how many days he missed sleep. His eyes were bloodshot red. Axel gets up and rocks Hikari to sleep as he walked back to her room. He places Hikari in her crib,tucks her in, and gives her a kiss goodnight on her forehead. He walks to the bathroom, he sat on the floor. Axel finally cracked. Just lying on the floor, crying and wishing that Roxas would came back. He hugged Roxas`s old shirts in fear for living all his life without Roxas. His only love. Then a thought came. He wouldn`t have to go through this. He`d never suffer again. Hikari won`t have to put up with a coward like him.  He could be with his angel again.  Axel got up to punch the mirror to which it shatters. He grabs a pill bottle for antidepressants and gets five pills. Axel picks up a broken shard. Axel then sits on the bathtub.  He swallows the five pills. Axel then placed the shard near his left wrist,  He dragged the shard quickly across his wrist and arm leaving a deep, crimson line in his skin. Axel didn't even flinch as the blood began to stream out of the cut, dripping down his hand. He did the same process to his arm. Soon the bathtub was covered with blood, but Axel was smiling. He was gonna see Roxas again. “I`ll see you, soon. My Love.” Axel thought before he drifted into the tub.......

Saix walks toward the dark street all alone. Axel hasn`t been responding to anyone`s calls. He hadn`t seen him since the funeral. He soon finds the place and uses the spare key, Reno handed him in hopes He can get to Axel. “Axel?” He called. He looked around the dark room, hoping to find him. He goes upstairs. “Axel!” Saix called through the hallway. Nothing. He sees a light in the room. He opens the door sightly to see Hikari sleeping in her crib.  Saix then noticed the bathroom door open ajar and He went to check on it.  For a moment Saix froze up, eyes wide and in horror as He sees Axel lying on his tub and in his hands was a small, bloodstained broken shard. He runs to his friend, checking for a pulse. It was weak but normal. Saix noticed a pill bottle lying on the floor. “Axel, what have you done?” Saix thought as he grabbed towels to apply pressure to Axel`s wounds and called 911. Axel was getting pale. He opens his eyes to see Saix through his blurry vision. “Since when did he care?” Axel thought as he drifted into sleep.....

Axel later woke up in a hospital.