#because he's not around to answer that question anymore

[lesbojournals]

Poly!Marauders x Slytherin!Reader

part one two three five

One time at dinner became two, became three, became…now this is the norm? As you made your way to the Great Hall for yet another dinner with the boys you passed Lucius, who sneered at you.

“What a waste of a Slytherin, hanging around those idiots.” He commented, and Narcissa hit him.

Before she could make a comment in return (to possibly spare your feelings) Sirius appeared from the hall in front of you. “Lucy bothering you, dolly?” He joked, half serious. 

“We were just leaving.” Narcissa promised, and dragged Lucius away before anymore bad blood could be thrown.

With that, Sirius grabbed your hand and guided you down to the Great Hall where Remus and James awaited.

“There she is!” James proclaimed, bringing a smile to your face. 

“Hello, dove.” Remus tilted his head slightly in admiration. 

You sat across from them and next to Sirius, who sat next to Lily. 

“Hey!” She waved at you. “Are you coming to the party tonight?”

You turned to the boys in question, and Sirius answered. “We were just about to invite you, actually.”

You reminisced on the last time you dare drink with Gryffindors and you shuddered. “I’m in, but I’m not taking shots with James again.”

James faked a sad face, blinking puppy eyes at you, while Remus just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“We’ll see about that,” Sirius commented. “Jamie can be pretty convincing after a few drinks.”

You joked and conversed with the boys and the other Gryffindors at the table for a while, and eventually as the lights grew dim you decided to part ways so you could change out of your uniform and into proper party attire.

At the Slytherin common room, you sprinted to your dorm to get ready. You perfected your make up and put up your hair in a way that hopefully said ‘trying, but not too hard’. You couldn’t help but frown at Lucius and Snape when you entered the common room again. Without Narcissa, they were like wild beasts.

“What’re you all dressed up for?” Snape pried, sitting up from his seat on the couch. This perked Lucius’ attention as well.

“Party.” You replied, uninterested. 

“With those buffoons? You know they’re just pranking you, right? Tell me you aren’t that daft and think they’re actually crushing on you the way you are them.” Lucius looked you up and down with judgment, and a raised eyebrow.

That couldn’t be true…right? They liked you. However, you were the most gullible out of your housemates. And Slytherin was the rival house. And you weren’t Regulus, who did have the protection of his brother.

You were friends with Regulus, that had to count for some, right?

You shook your head at Lucius. “They wouldn’t do that.”

“They wouldn’t pull a prank on you? Nothing’s stopped them from pulling pranks on me.” Snape instigated.

You scoffed. “Because it’s horrific being around you, Sna-Severus.” You had to stop yourself. Were you seriously about to last-name him?

He noticed, and got up to stand close to you. “You’re turning into one of them, and you don’t even realize it’s going to backfire on you.”

He spit on your shoes. “Pathetic.”

You grabbed your wand from your pocket, as did Severus, about to do god knows what when your head snapped at the sound of a “HEY!” coming from the entrance to the boy’s dorm.

Regulus rushed to be in between you two, giving Severus the stink eye as he pushed him away.

“What’s going on?” He looked between the two of you.

Your eyes started to water, and Severus smirked at the sight that he’d gotten under your skin.

“Ask the traitor.”

The words struck you, and with big tears about to bubble you darted from the common room, Regulus hot on your tail. 

“Hey, hey!” Regulus grabbed your shoulder, catching up to you. “What’s going on?”

You shook your head negatively and sniffled. “It’s not worth it.”

Regulus looked you up and down sympathetically and then looked behind you. 

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s get you to the Gryffindor common room before Filch catches us. We can take the long way so you can take a few minutes.”

You nodded, and let Regulus guide you. Were you a traitor? Were the boys really pranking you?

Fire of anger started to fill you, unbeknownst to Regulus, and you decided you were going to drink your heart away and give James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin a piece of your mind. 

[stophoranmyheartaround]

As an actor and writer myself, I love when a show will do little phrase callbacks that are so loaded and can have so much punch. And for S3P1 so far in my head, one of my faves has been what I’ve started calling “the ‘of course’ discourse.”

For me, Colin kicks it off in 3.2 in that gorgeous final scene in the Featherington garden when Pen asks if she can ask him something and Luke Newton delivers that “of course” without hesitation. He’ll do anything for her, no question. Colin is here for Pen. (I could get into what all was he expecting/feeling in this late night visit but that’s another time perhaps…) The loaded part of that “of course” obviously comes from Pen’s response here but now we’re off. At the end of this exchange, we all know Colin’s world is ROCKED. SHOOK. CANDLE FULLY BRIGHT. (Those fierce flames in his dream sequence immediately opening 3.3 aren’t just mood lighting IMO.)

And then we see how every time Colin responds “of course” after that shift, they mean so much more. Like him affirming to Alice and Will that it’s “of course” the goal for her to find a husband. He doesn’t think that anymore. But it’s what he’s expected to say and agree to. (Again, great layering by Newts.) Like agreeing to act like he’s not talking to Pen in the tent to get the deets about Debling. He’s agreeing but he doesn’t want that to be the case. Like under the willow tree when everything is crumbling on his end with Pen but he’s still trying to agree to what she seemingly wants. (Fab work on both their parts here because no one is really saying what they fully mean.)

But the best part to me is the gut-wrencher when Pen gets involved in that final scene of 3.3. Colin has approached her, determined to find out the answer to his all-important question confirming their feelings, and as he’s drawn into her lips and can’t quite get the words out and Pen is definitely feeling a lot of things back, there’s that block from Debling with his reminder of their time to dance. And Pen and Colin have that lingering look, Colin wants so desperately to ask and can’t muster the words and Pen can’t help herself on her end because she is also SO conflicted. But she turns and takes Debling’s offered hand and delivers that “Of course, my Lord” that just hurts all around. The kick in of “Happier Than Ever” is the perfect amplifier here because Colin AND Pen are represented here. Yes, a part of Pen enjoys her dance but she would’ve enjoyed it even more if she thought it could’ve been her and Colin. Colin is trying to process how him letting that moment go could’ve been letting go of more than he bargained for. (Absolutely brilliant all around here, especially the musical button of his look right on that last plucked chord at the start.)

Ugh. I just love it. (I know there’s more I could go on about but this is wordy enough.) I can’t wait for S3P2 and to see all the moments we get in store this back half. And here’s to many more layered moments, of course. 😉

[brainoutofstock]

Note: Hopping on the “Adler is Graves’ dad” train.

“Why don’t you keep in touch with your dad?”

Phillip gave you a look as if you had just announced you murdered someone. Only once did the identity of his father arise in a conversation in the three years you had been dating, and even that happened when he told about his mother to your parents at a family gathering and they asked him about his father. With his usual Southern charm he was able to dodge the question, saying his father was always career-driven and spent most of his time far from his family, so he barely knew him. That was all.

His knuckles whitened from the force he gripped the steering wheel with. You were sitting in a rented Land Rover, heading to a ski resort in Austria to spend almost a week there, and there was no escape from your question. He knew he would have to answer if he wanted to avoid a fight that would ruin your trip, and he had promised to be honest with you, which left him no choice but to tell you the truth about his father.

So he let out a long sigh and began to talk, forcing himself to focus on the snowy road ahead instead of that worried look on your face. Because he knew that’s what he would see, he knew you were aware there was an issue that caused the rift between the two of them. “My dad’s a difficult person. He’s been working for the CIA for a long time, I guess he lost touch with reality along the way. He lives in a different world than most of us and I assume he can’t really enjoy things like being in the company of his family anymore.”

You knew Phillip. Under the tough, confident, and cocky exterior he was truly caring and gentle. Well, at least with you and those he truly cared about. Family had always been important to him, imagining he was having such a complicated relationship with his dad made you sad. “Have you tried to talk to him about it?”

Your fiancé snorted at that. “Yeah, right, that would solve things, wouldn’t it? But I know him, I don’t wanna waste my time trying to get him to be honest with me. I just play nice, give him a call on holidays, visit him once or twice a year, and that’s it. To be fair, he’s not exactly happy with me. He would be prouder if I stayed in the Marines and kept serving my country.”

Nodding, you turned to look out the window on the side. “Was he a good father?” you asked quietly, although you could already guess the answer.

“When he was around, he… wasn’t that bad,” he replied hesitantly, making you surprised for the first time since the beginning of this conversation. “When I was younger, he taught me how to shoot, how to protect myself, then while I was in the military, we shared stories over a beer whenever we met. But once I realized I wanted to do something different, he became distant.”

You reached out to take his hand, squeezing it lightly with a supportive smile on your lips. “At least your mom’s nice,” you tried.

“Yeah, she is,” he agreed. “I have no idea why she stayed with him, but at least she’s happy.”

“Unlike him, you’re gonna be a great dad, I hope you know that. And a grandkid might bring him closer to you.”

He looked over at you with a raised eyebrow, wondering why you brought this up. You’d been trying for a baby for over a year now without success, then decided to keep a short break two months ago so you wouldn’t be that stressed about this. You two agreed not to bring it up for the next six months. But then his eyes narrowed as he had a growing suspicion.

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

With a short laugh, you flashed a happy smile at him. “Six weeks in.”

[dramioneasks]

Draco's Birthday (2024)

The Pretense by vinewrappeddragon - M, one-shot - SCANDAL OF THE CENTURY: GRANGER ENSNARES MALFOY IN SORDID LOVE TRAP! War heroine Hermione Granger and former Death Eater Draco Malfoy have shocked the wizarding world by entering into a torrid romance no one saw coming! In an explosive exposé, The Daily Prophet's roving reporters uncovered the unlikely pair's secret affair - complete with candlelit trysts, heated public rows, and a sudden whirlwind engagement that has left tongues wagging across Britain. But is their love the real thing or merely an elaborate ruse to advance their own agendas? The answer may surprise you...and shake the very foundations of our society!

A Long Time Coming by ahuie19 - E, 5 chapters - Nearing both Draco's birthday and their first wedding anniversary, Hermione works on a secret present.

Boring Birthday by AutumnFWoods - E, one-shot - All Draco wants to do, is spend is 30th birthday with his new girlfriend, his friends have other ideas.

It’s My Party (I’ll Cry If I Want To) by magicalsydney (magicandmanuscripts) - G, one-shot - Draco Malfoy having a no good birthday party until his wife gives him his favorite gift to date.

Emerald Green Ribbon by Ashabadash - E, one-shot - Draco was simply trying to have a productive day at work, but apparently, that's too much to ask when the day in question is also his birthday. or Draco receives a surprise package for his birthday and now he can't focus on anything else.

Twisted Affairs by itsnotpomegranate - E, one-shot - Draco Malfoy prided himself on being an individual that didn’t believe in absolutes, at least, not anymore. However, there were two things he was absolutely positive about. Number one, he hated the day of his birth with passion. He hated celebrating the bloody date. Nothing good ever happened (were it not the day of his birth). But what really consolidated the bad omen of the 5th of June was the fact that he had become a death eater that same day. From then onwards, Draco preferred to forget the date completely and if he never had to celebrate his birthday again, he’d be a happy wizard. Number two, he was not at all deserving of the love of the one and only, Hermione Granger. (Not a hard deduction really, being that he was a former death eater and she the fucking Golden Girl.) So, it came with no surprise, albeit with considerable loads of pain, that on the day of his 29th birthday, his girlfriend was going to end things up with him. It was worse than that, actually. He knew she was having an affair with another.

Of Piercings and Perversions by vinewrappeddragon - E, 2 chapters - no summary

Draco Malfoy's Correct Comportment for Courting by multiimoments - E, one-shot - Three times Draco was a gentleman and one time he wasn't.

She Put a Bow On It by MissusB - E, one-shot - Draco hated the attention. There was only one exception and this wasn’t it. Still, Blaise had conjured a birthday party out of his arse faster than Draco could tell him not to bother. --- OR Blaise throws Draco a birthday party to get him and Hermione back together because they're both pining idiots who refuse to just say so.

Happy Birthday, Old Man by Biirdiee_Rose - E, one-shot - Draco can't help but feel old after not being able to party like he used to. His darling wife decides to cheer him up with a little birthday treat.

hummingbird heartbeat by riddikulus_puff - E, one-shot - “You give me that hummingbird heartbeat. Spread my wings and make me fly.”

Pizza Puns & Granger's Buns by peoniesandcedarwood - E, one-shot - The one where Draco delivers more than just pizza to a hungry Hermione.

Gold Around The Edges by mysterydragonss - not rated, one-shot - Draco knows he won't get the one thing he really wants for his birthday, and makes it everyone else's problem. Who said long distance was a good idea again? *** He’d been dating Hermione Granger for three years, seven months, and fifteen days (not that he was counting), but he hadn’t physically seen her in over a year. She’d been offered the job of a lifetime, researching rare creatures in the deepest darkest parts of the Amazon, and he’d actively encouraged her to go, even if that had been akin to carving out an organ. He’d been selfish for a lot of his life, and had been working on it. He would never understand why people raved about being ‘good’ so often, it was tiring, painful, and made him want to break things.

Alone Together by PotionChemist - E, WIP - On Draco Malfoy's fortieth birthday, he receives an unexpected lunch invitation. He finds himself in a complicated situation with the Minister for Magic and her ex-husband.

[amynchan]

Ask people questions when they're around to answer them.

[natjennie]

julian describing himself as a "former politician, brackets, disgraced" is maybe the funniest line of the show

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

[roobylavender]

i’m not sure if you’ve talked about it before but i’m soso curious about your opinions on how the interactions/relationship between leslie & post-res jason would go/be

i like to think it wouldn't be all that different from her interactions with bruce actually because i tend to be of the opinion that jason is the most like bruce of bruce's children. the quintessential "illogical" reaction to, reclamation of, and extrapolation of trauma; the slow suicide of the civilian self; the overwhelming despair over personal inadequacy in the face of crime; the consistent urge to project onto others. it's a lot. and obv jason is a somewhat more.. volatile character than bruce once he comes back from the dead. but i think most people would agree that had the red hood characterization not gone so haywire after under the hood that that volatility would mostly be an internalized thing. jason is a delusional person to an extent but he's not incapable of human interaction or parlance. whatever he does as the red hood—while powered by a warped sense of self and the world; while indicative of several social wrongs; while externally easy to perceive as an "extreme" reaction rather than as the natural conclusion to vigilantism in and of itself—is for the most part practical. he's not a loose cannon by any means. he can be talked to and reasoned with. bruce simply happens to be the worst person to even attempt to do that because he does not have the answers that jason, let alone he himself, would want. bruce is a very emotionally confused person and he's at a stage in his life by this point where all he knows how to do is say sorry. he's no longer the guy everyone goes to for solutions. people have started to lose faith in him as to that and he himself has started to lose faith in his own ability to do so. this is honestly where my strongest criticism of bruce would lay. he's not someone unaware of his various issues and transgressions. he thinks about them all the time. but he doesn't do much to solve those issues and transgressions. instead what he has a tendency to do is isolate and wallow and beat himself up meanwhile the people upset with him are stood in a corner like well.. ok.. what the fuck are we supposed to do with that.. and that is ultimately helpful to no one lol!

which brings me back to leslie. i've never been a fan of the later, rare iterations of leslie that take her into the realm of judge, jury, and executioner. although i haven't read war games myself (nor do i ever intend to) i can't ever imagine that leslie's means of expressing her aversion to and exasperation with bruce's lifestyle would culminate in her deliberately facilitating a child's death—or faking that child's death. whichever version of canon you want to go with is fine for the sake of argument—to teach bruce a lesson. for every horrible thing about the world or gotham or bruce specifically that leslie is privy to she nonetheless keeps faith in the latter's desire to do good. she doesn't agree with his methods nor lifestyle by a long mile but she's not loath to the batman in a way that would preclude her from recognizing bruce wants to do better and ultimately reach a point at which vigilantism is no longer the answer. leslie is the harsh and necessary critic of vigilantism, and purportedly a cynic with respect to the rest of the world, but in practice she is a far less unforgiving person than she portrays herself to be and her commitment to remaining in crime alley is a testament to that. it would probably take a good word (from talia, imo!) and some mulling over for her to come around to the idea of taking jason under her wing. but i don't think it would be something for her to put her foot down over. at best she would hold him to a higher standard of future behavior because she wants to know that when he says he is going to get better he means it. the stray lighthearted threat would be lobbed at him here and there but she wouldn't really mean the words. there would be the external impression of cut and dry dialogue between a begrudged employer and the random kid she decides to give a job because she knows he would end up a mess otherwise. but there would be a latent affection there too (if not immediately ascertainable by jason because he would still be too burrowed in his anger and grief and confusion to recognize it) because she knew him when he was a child and she suspects the part of him that existed before death is still hidden somewhere for people like her to find

[jamiesfootball]

currently obsessed with in-universe roy/jamie rpf. have you any thoughts on this topic?

So.

I am assuming that this in partially in reference to that fic that's been making the rounds and I did read the fic and I do have one opinion on the fic that has haunted my waking hours which is:

Why would Roy's sister be into X-Files fanfic?

I'm not saying it isn't possible, and this may be a stupid hill to die on, but given her assumed age bracket this was not the fandom I would have given her.

The interest in medicine. The familial brand of sarcasm and sharp wit. The easy assumption that since her brother also has a bit of a dark sense of humor ('avenge me, keeley', ropes) she likely does as well.

You fools. She'd be into House MD.

(no disrespect at all to the author your fic was lovely I am just very much from the age bracket in question and this one detail threw me for a loop the way different experiences sometimes do)

[masquenoire]

OOC// What are some things that make Roman feel sad?

Few things make Roman Sionis feel sad. Years ago, it might have been a different story; he was a very lonely child for the most part whose parents made it crystal clear to him how unwanted he was, how much harder he made their lives and berated him constantly for how he couldn’t even begin to live up to their lofty expectations. It wasn’t much better elsewhere; Roman had few friends even amongst the other children of Gotham’s upper class families, a little too ‘odd’ and cursed with no filter to be able to truly fit in. Fortunately there were a few positive influences during this time. A few employees hired to take care of the family household and chores treated Roman well enough, caring more about the child than his own parents did. It was the chauffeur who realized he’d gone missing during one particular party and ventured out into the forest to bring him back when he’d been bitten by a rabid raccoon, though had been threatened by Mr. and Mrs. Sionis to not speak about the incident or else lose her job. Receiving so little genuine consideration throughout his life has long since burnt out Roman’s ability to feel sadness, because if nobody ever felt sorry for him then why the fuck should he feel the same about anything (or anyone) else? He’s older now, capable of looking after himself and everything he’s got is entirely his own doing. He doesn’t need empathy, to give or receive and frankly, such feelings are only weaknesses to exploit in Gotham’s crime-ridden underbelly where everybody’s out to get you. On rare occasions, Roman will notice a child who is not happy, clearly not loved or cared for by their parent/s at all. It’s a stark reminder as to how he once was, a haunting memory of how he’d once been and had nobody in his corner. For the briefest of moments he’ll feel the sharp, painful sting of sadness, memories of times he’d thought he’d long since gotten over... until familiar rage overcomes him, wanting nothing more than to -lash out- at the closest thing. To Roman, anger is much more familiar and preferrable to grief.

[falsementor]

macaque is definitely the type of antihero who will use his evil, intimidating reputation as a force of good. just... in a very apeshit way.

[arthur-r]

i feel really sick (breakup vent)

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

There's a viral video circulating from the Fort Worth Zoo, of two keepers who ended up in a habitat at the same time as a silverback gorilla. Spoiler for good news: neither the humans nor the gorilla got hurt. It's a bad situation that ended extremely well, and that's why I want to talk about it.

The audio for this video is mostly someone praying loudly, so if you need to turn the audio off to watch it, you won't miss anything relevant. If you don't want to watch it, here's the summary: it starts with a keeper running around the corner into the main exhibit, pursued by a large male gorilla. She is quickly able to get into a doorway at the back of the exhibit, but does not completely close the door because the gorilla is standing across from her, watching. He eventually moves off to the right hand side of the exhibit, where we can see a keeper is trapped in the corner at the front. She was trying to move towards the exit as he moved to the right, and she stops, standing very still behind a tree, while he stays along the far right wall. They stay like that for a minute, and then the gorilla runs to the front right corner, and the keeper is able to run to the door in the back of the exhibit and get to safety.

Let's start with basic information. Even though it's just going viral now, this video is from October of 2023. It was taken not by a guest, but by the zoo security officer responding to the situation. Hmmm, seems like he maybe should have been doing something else during that situation, instead of than taking a phone video. It's going viral now because the guy (who is no longer employed at the zoo) decided to post it on TikTok for his five minutes of fame. This guy immediately started giving all sorts of media interviews, answering questions like "why no tranquilizers" inappropriately, making memes out of his own video, generally distasteful shit.

Zoo spokesperson Avery Elander gave a public statement that "thankfully, there was no physical contact between keepers and gorilla, and all staff and animals are safe." A comment from the zoo has also indicated that the incident was due to keeper error. (As opposed to, for instance, something in the fencing breaking.) According to the guy who posted the video, a lock was left unsecured and the gorilla was able to open the door to the habitat. I don't know if I buy it, and again, this just... is probably why he doesn't have a job anymore. By sharing that detail - real or not - he places a ton of public scrutiny and blame on that keeper team. (If that's what happened, I can promise you it will have been dealt with internally.) He also was nice enough to say he wouldn't name the women in the video... but verified they're still staffers at the zoo... which means they're eminently identifiable! Excuse me while I ragequit for a second.

So there's two reasons I wanted to talk about this. The first is to make sure it is well known that this guy is purposefully and intentionally exploiting the worst day of someone's life for media attention. Their lives were in danger, and he's using it for fame. His name is in the media articles - I'm not going to share it because he doesn't deserve that attention. The second reason, though, is because this video is a masterclass on how to survive if you end up sharing space with a gorilla. Every zoo person I've spoken to or seen comment on the video is so, so impressed with how the keepers handled themselves.

The gorilla in this video is 34-year-old Elmo. All apes in AZA zoos are managed in protected contact, so keepers are supposed to be separated from them by a barrier at all times. The zookeepers were in the habitat putting out a mid-day meal when he got out. Watching the video, you can see he's not actively being aggressive towards them - he's not making threat displays or trying to approach them. Mostly, Elmo seems like he doesn't know what is going on and he's kinda freaked out about it. (This is confirmed in the zoo's press statement, too). The staff stayed calm, and importantly, watched and waited to see how he'd move and act.

The zoo did say one thing, though, that's a bit misleading. In one article, their press person I quote as saying “In general, gorillas are considered the “gentle giants” of the great ape species.” Just because this may be true in comparison to other great ape species doesn't meant gorilla aren't still incredibly dangerous. This type of messaging always worries me, because I think it leads people to misunderstand the risks of being close to megafauna. Gorilla are extremely strong animals, and their social norms/behaviors are very different from that of humans. That's why it's such a big deal any time people end up in gorilla habitats, and why sometimes in those circumstances lethal measures have to be taken to protect human life.

These keepers are incredibly lucky to be unharmed. These women stayed safe specifically because they're trained professionals who knew how to act around gorilla, they knew this particular animal well, and they'd learned the escapes from the exhibit just in case this ever happened. We should applaud them for their cool heads and quick thinking.

As for the guy who posted the video? As a colleague put it, may he always step on a Lego.

[sellenite]

cherry blossoms 01 pairing: virgin!Choso x fem!reader contents: phone sex, mutual masturbation (f! and m!), JOI (m! receiving), Choso's first orgasm, praise kink (but in the softest way possible), friends to lovers, soft-smut word count: 1.9K MDNI | 18+

virgin!Choso who met you shortly after he met Yuji. He was wary of most people, but he thought your eyes were kind and pretty, and your voice was soothing and soft as you introduced yourself to him. He blushed when you asked him what his name was and he told you, still a little nervous. And then you smiled up at him, so sweet and bright, and told him yours and he swore it became his new favorite word.

virgin!Choso who started spending more time with you, because you made him feel safe. He was used to violence, used to being treated like a weapon by the people who had claimed to be his “allies.” But everything felt different with you. You helped teach him about the world, helped him to understand himself. You were patient and gentle, warm sunlight on the cold, barren existence that had been his life for so many years prior.

virgin!Choso who liked hearing you laugh more than anything. Sometimes he would make you laugh on accident, sometimes on purpose, but he didn’t really care either way. He liked watching the way your eyes creased at the corners, sometimes the tip of your nose. He liked when he made you laugh really hard too, when little tears would roll down your cheeks and the sounds of your giggles would be cut off by your panting. He made you laugh really hard today when he so innocently asked about something he had heard Yuji say to Megumi:

“Yuji was talking about something called ‘sloppy toppy’… Do you know where you get that from?”

You swore you were going to die of asphyxiation from the way your body convulsed and curled in on itself. Choso didn’t understand what was so funny, but he smiled as you wiped tears from your eyes.

virgin!Choso whose eyebrows knitted together intensely when you told him what “sloppy toppy” meant. He understood the basics of sex (as in he knew that it was how humans reproduced), but he had never experienced the desire for it or feelings of lust. But this new vocabulary word had introduced so many questions he had never considered before; how sex could just be for pleasure, how many different ways you could have it, what it felt like... The blush on your cheeks darkened as his questions turned more intimate, letting his genuine curiosity guide him.

“The first and most important thing about having sex is that you feel safe with the person you’re having it with,” you explained to him after a while of answering his questions.

“Safe like how I feel with you?” Choso asked you softly, looking into your eyes with his deep purple ones. You felt your breath catch in your throat, your cheeks blushing pink. You nodded softly, but gently changed the subject.

virgin!Choso who couldn’t help but go home that night and think about everything you had taught him. He thought of your pretty eyes as you explained everything to him in your soothing voice. He thought of the way your soft lips looked when you smiled or how they glistened when you wet them with your tongue. He laid in bed and felt an unfamiliar pressure in his pants, almost as if he was in pain. He shifted around, trying to get the feeling to go away but it felt like all he could focus on was his dick. He lifted up the waistband of his sweatpants to look at himself, seeing his cock resting stiffly against his stomach, swelling up as fluid leaked from the tip of it. He groaned low in his throat, suddenly wishing you were there with him in his room. He wanted you to be there to help him; to explain in your soft, sweet voice what was happening to him, why his cock was so hard and why it was dripping so much.

virgin!Choso who called you because he just couldn’t take it anymore and he didn’t know what to do.

“Choso? Everything okay?” You asked him in your sweet voice, slightly concerned because it was almost 1:00 AM at this point and he usually didn't call you this late.

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he held the phone up to his ear with one hand, the other pushing the waistband of his sweatpants down to free his throbbing cock. He groaned at the feeling of the fabric brushing against his sensitive balls as he shifted them down.

“It’s so hard right now and it keeps leaking… I don’t know what to do,” Choso’s deep voice whined over the phone.

“It’s-? Ohhh…” You felt your breath catch in your throat as his words sank in, sitting up in your bed as you heard his needy tone. You bit into your lip, feeling a steady ache between your thighs building at the sound of his voice alone. You took a deep breath as you collected yourself the best you could.

“Umm, well… Sometimes the best way to make it go away is to make yourself cum,” you explained softly, feeling an odd mix of embarrassment and arousal at the same time. Choso was your friend, and he was calling you so innocently about his problem, he probably didn’t even realize how erotic it was.

virgin!Choso who did in fact realize how erotic it was when hearing your soft voice on the other end of the line made his cock twitch.

“I don’t know how…” Choso groaned softly in response to your suggestion, watching the fluid leak from the tip of his aching cock and drip onto the bottom of his stomach.

You squeezed your eyes shut at the sound of his voice, simultaneously tensing your thighs together as your own need grew rapidly. You bit your lip as your next response bounced around in your head for a few moments before you answered.

“I could… Tell you how… If you want,” you offered softly, your voice like a sweet whisper in Choso’s ear. Choso nodded quickly as his hand gripped onto his phone a little harder.

“Please,” he said softly, and it took everything in your power to not moan at how hot his husky voice sounded when he was so desperate for you.

virgin!Choso whose phone was now on speaker as you guided him through how to touch himself. He wrapped his large palm around his girth, groaning in pleasure as you told him to use the leaky fluid from his tip to slide his hand down his length. He listened obediently, his breath shaky as he followed the rhythm of your voice, telling him to slide his hand down… up… down… up… down… up…

He couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper as your voice controlled his every movement, feeling his hips twitching, jerking up into his hand instinctively. The sounds were so erotic: his whimpers through the phone; the soft, wet sounds you could hear coming from the movement of his palm over his skin. You were trying so hard not to touch yourself, your thighs squeezing together impossibly tight as you bit into your lip to suppress the urge to moan back in response to his whiny breaths.

“Squeeze your fist a little tighter when you get to your tip, Choso… Does that feel good?” You asked him, your own breathing getting a little heavy from trying to remain composed.

“Yes… Yes… Feels so good,” Choso whimpered as he fisted his cock on the other end of the line. You let out a soft moan of your own. You didn’t even remember moving your pillow, but there it was, in between your legs as you humped your aching, panty-clad pussy into it.

virgin!Choso who heard your soft moan and he almost came on the spot, his breath stuttering as he heard your angelic voice sound so lewd.

“D-do that again… Please,” he begged softly, increasing the pace of his hand as his hips thrusted up into the tight grip of his fist. His head was tilted back into his pillow, eyes almost closed, his lids so heavy from pleasure. You could envision all of it now as your own eyes squeezed shut, grinding into your pillow a little harder so the seam of the casing rubbed against your swollen clit. You heard the wet sounds of his fist sliding up and down his shaft and you moaned a little louder as you rubbed your clit into the pillow.

Choso whimpered as he heard your moans through the phone. He could feel a coiling pleasure building in his lower body quickly now, every thrust into his fist making him feel even more desperate. The sounds he was making were breathy and frantic as he braced against the dizzying pressure of the newfound sensations. His body was acting on pure instinct, pushing himself rapidly towards an unknown edge.

He whimpered your name out and you knew he was close. Your own arousal only increased as you imagined it was him you were humping so desperately as he whined beneath you. Your fingers slipped into your panties, sliding into your soaking hole as you rocked against them, moaning loudly as you felt your own climax building.

“K-keep stroking your cock for me, Cho… Want you to cum nice and hard for me, okay?” Your voice was breathless and punctuated by your own soft moans as you heard Choso groaning and whimpering in agreement as he loudly fucked into his fist. His back arched as he thrusted his swollen cock up into his palm, wishing it were your hand, your mouth, or the space between your thighs that he now realized he was longing to see.

virgin!Choso who sobbed your name out as he came into his fist, fucking up into his hand as ropes of his warm cum shot out of his swollen cock and fell back onto his hand, his abdomen, his thighs... His balls were so heavy—his thick cock twitching with every spurt that released from his slit—and his hips jerked up as he painted his body with his seed. He whimpered as it kept coming, his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut as he panted and moaned loudly. You could hear him whine louder from the other end of the phone, as you brought yourself closer and closer to your own climax.

“So good, Choso… You did so good,” you praised him breathlessly, your own body leaning forward as you moaned into the phone. You rolled your hips furiously into the pillow, bolstered by his desperate whimpers as you came around your fingers. You whined for him now too, riding out your own high as Choso’s breathing slowly returned to normal on the other side of the phone.

virgin!Choso who broke the silence first.

“Did you… Did you cum too?” He asked breathlessly, plump lips parted slightly as he stared up at his ceiling, eyes still half-lidded as he came down from the high of his first orgasm.

You swallowed as your body relaxed into your bed, pillow still trapped between your thighs.

“Um yeah, I did,” you laughed a little nervously. The reality of what just occurred between the two of you was sinking in now that you both had climaxed. There was some silence on both ends as you both breathed heavily.

“Good,” Choso said softly, smiling up at his ceiling. “Maybe next time… We could do it together?”

virgin!Choso who would not be a virgin for much longer after that night!

PSA: thank you so much for reading <3

[tojiphile]

when your teacher assigned him to be your tutor, you’re sure he didn’t expect it to end up like this. it’s 5:46pm on a school night and instead of studying, your panties are bunched around your ankles, your cropped skirt flipped up and your blouse unbuttoned obscenely. your sports bra barely keeps your tits in place as your alleged ‘tutor’ bends you over your desk, fucking you silly.

“well, what’s the answer?” he asks, one hand on your waist and the other rubbing small circles around your swollen clit. “i- ‘s too much!” you cry, trying to squirm out of his grip. he traps you in place firmly, slipping his cock in and out of your cunt slowly, causing you to tremble with desire.

“please…” you beg, hot tears spilling down your face, “i- i can’t do this anymore!” you’ve been in this position for an hour; your clit overstimulated and your pussy desperate for more. he’s brought you so close so many times but never once did he let you cum. “why should i?” he scoffs, “stupid girls don’t deserve nice things.”

“if you answer correctly, i’ll fuck you properly. how’s that sound?” he baits you, hook, line and sinker. he asks the question again and you strain your brain to find the correct answer, trying your best to resist his delicate touch.

inevitably, you never get the answer right. that’s okay though, because at the end of every class, your tutor always says, if you can’t be smart, you could always be his little trophy wife. still, stupid girls don’t deserve to cum, so he focuses himself on relieving his own stress, pounding into you like a dog in heat, bullying your cunt and stuffing it full with his cock.

you still feel good though, because at least you’re useful for something! <3

TSUKISHIMA KEI, GETO SUGURU, nanami kento, tendou satoori, sugawara koishi, TETSURO KUROO, takahiro hanamaki, ryomen sukuna, ooc!saiki kusuo, kamisato ayato, KAEYA ALBERICH

[kenntolog]

cool boyfriend sukuna and loser gfs silly little satire questions like “will you still love me if I was a worm” or little tiktok brainrot jokes pls 😞

𝝑𝝔 an: hey heyy, hope you like this, anon!! read more about cool bf sukuna x loser gf reader here!!

“would you still love me if i was a worm, ‘kuna?” you ask with a sweet smile on your face, resting against the headboard of your bed as sukuna’s head lays on your tummy.

“no.”

it’s impressive how he can literally feel the way your face falls even though he doesn’t see it directly. a small smirk appears on his lips.

“like, not at all?”

“you’d be gross and slimy. i hate gross and slimy things.”

he repositions his head to look up at you, his smirk turning mischievous at the way you pout and your brows pinch downwards. you’re so cute when you’re upset with him, it’s one of his favourite things to do - upset you and not feel guilty because you’ll get over it as soon as he kisses you and calls you his little crybaby.

“you wouldn’t even try to love me?” you ask again, voice so small and meek sukuna can barely keep his fond chuckles to himself.

“you won’t turn into a worm, loser.”

“yes, but, hypothetically, if i did t—”

“hypothetically, shut up.”

you open and close your mouth silently, before crossing your arms over your chest and turning your head away from him. now, that means you’re kind of upset with him and don’t want to talk to him anymore, but that doesn’t matter to sukuna. he just tugs you down, trapping you between his arms and looking down at you sternly.

“does it really matter?”

you beam at him immediately, arms circling around his shoulders as you nod eagerly, waiting for his answer.

sukuna looks at you for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and sighing in exasperation, hand coming up to flick your forehead roughly.

“yes, i would love you if you were a worm.”

“i knew it!”