#because i had moved so many times i wasnt 'from' anywhere. i was just here now and i knew i would leave before long

[caffeinatedopossum]

Thinking about how I never understood home sickness as a kid who was constantly fantasizing about running away and would do anything to get away from my home for even just a day and how I was so confused and thought that was normal. One time I went to a summer camp for a week and there was this girl crying because she was home sick on the first day and I went to comfort her but one of the staff stopped me and I just did not understand

[polyhexian]

yall gotta STOP saying hunter was trying to kill amity in eclipse lake. he was not. he was going out of his way not to kill her. his goal was to get the key and to get the key only.

lets discuss in detail.

absolute first thing that happens: King wehs Hunter

Hunter gets Flapjack staff

He teleports twice, says 'real staffs are weird' and then amity ties him up. he teleports out of this into the air.

then we has his first actual aggressive non defensive move:

This is an AOE attack. area of effect. its an attack that does less damage but hits a larger area. so this sends bolts of magic scattering and bouncing all over the place. none of them actually HIT her. and this attack does not aim at her. It purely puts her on the defensive because she is now dodging blasts.

she hops off her staff to block one and then hunter teleports in

he is now behind her and she is caught off guard. he does not attack her flank, he just reaches for the key, before king tackles him.

he teleports behind her again, and this time comes in with a swing.

one she easily blocks. again, not a magical attack here. staff bash.

okay now follow this:

hes here, with her shield

he zaps over here, lower, moves to swing but doesnt, zaps again

baps her again after her shield has already moved above her head

she moves her shield left, he comes in right but hes not even swinging.

amity punches his fucking lights out and then orbs him

he hits her with this construction punch that knocks her off her staff before she can escape

and finally he breaks the necklace with his staff.

none of these attacks were lethal. he hits her with an AOE instead of a direct attack- and she didnt have a shield up yet because she had JUST used it to tie him up, then he hops around with, frankly, some staff bashes that are really holding back from what we know hes capable of, he knocks her off her staff and then when he has the opportunity to actually HIT her he hits the key instead.

compare this to the way he fights kikimora!

he nearly gets his head taken off when she scrapes his forehead and the next attack he blocks with his eyes on Kikimora, not the attack. thats like, important. that indicative of skill level.

especially because he does it twice in a row! the second time one handed!

look at the completely different posture he zaps in to strike with. the hits on amity he is holding back.

this little bastard does a front flip mid teleport to generate strength behind this strike.

look how effortlessly he does this. imagine how many rotations that is in a single second. hes not even looking at it OR his hands. hes spinning that one handed.

ive trained on a bo staff. this shit is not easy. i trained for two years and couldnt get anywhere near that. just watch this video of noah fort going apeshit to see what this actually looks like irl.

he fucking... hits it back at her....

this little man can spin a staff so fast he can reflect magic and control the direction it fires. he hit kikimora so hard he sent her flying twenty feet.

if hunter had wanted to kill amity she'd be fucking dead dude. amity is a good fighter, like, don't get me wrong. but hunters op as absolute shit. hes a terrifying little man. he also fought her completely differently than he did kiki, and he wasnt even trying to kill her. we've never seen Hunter fight all out like, fight to the death when he was still at full strength. we have no idea what that would look like. but we know that fight with amity was faaaaar from his potential. intentionally. he is seriously holding back and clearly on purpose. its not just that hes exhausted already, its not just that he has a new staff, its that he is holding back. he is not using lethal techniques.

[botheringlevi]

Is amused while listening to you ramble

Hold that thought. Ask the commander to help me?

Moved closer to you. Looks at your eyes. Moved my face closer to your face

I asked YOU to help me, Captain. Not the commander, not anyone else. Are you repulsive to the idea of being alone with me?

Smirks. Tries to touch your chest but withdraws my hand presuming you’re not comfortable. Moves a step back.

A comfortable silence lingers.

I’ll take your advice. Reading the manual sounds like a good start, tho I still want to know how you got so good at it without training. It’s like you are innately gifted, and thats is just one of the many things that I admire about you. You truly are the wings of the survey corps, Captain.

Noticed your fingers starting to twitch.

I’m sorry if I didn’t consider your well-being before barging into your office.

Looks at the floor all flustered and shy after realizing you must be resting earlier.

Let me escort you to your room. Humanity’s strongest needs his rest to recover after all. And no, you are not saying no.

Looks at cabinet and remembers the gift.

Oh, I bought you a homecoming present. I was around town when I saw it. I figured you wanted to do some cleaning after you recovered, and so I chose the best one out of the rest. Here. I hope you like it. Consider it a Valentine’s gift from me.

Winks at you and picks up the tray with teacups and leftover bread.

Shall we?

After washing the teacups and storing the leftover bread. We went ahead to your room, but only after a small bicker where you said you’ll go alone but I insisted to come.

Here we are! That wasnt so bad, wasnt it? *referring to the walk* If you’re gonna wonder why I insisted to come it’s because so I can do this.

Gives you a quick peck on the cheek.

Goodnight, Levi. Rest well. See you tomorrow.

You’re too shocked to react so I closed the door for you, fearing on what your reaction might be. Placing my head on the door, I waited outside your room for a moment while taking in deep breaths. My head is spinning and my heart pounding.

Whispers

I love you. Goodnight 🫣

[Previous ask]

At first, he's taken aback when their face moves closer to his. Then they make an attempt at mocking him.

*Deadpans and takes their jaw, tilting it up and away from him. He flicks their forehead as he does so.* Idiot. Is that really what you think I meant? I'm not the commander around here. I meant permission.

He pulls away as they do the same. *Teasing* As if Erwin has the time to train a brat like you on the equipment. I'm the only one who can handle you.

A comfortable silence lingers.

*Leans back in seat, at ease* Yeah, it sounds like good advice because it is.

They ask how he managed to master the ODM without training. Is he gifted?

*Shrugs* I've gotten asked that before... It's not something I can explain. I do it my own way. *Wrinkles nose* I guess gifted would be one word for it. But I've never gotten called the "wings" of this regiment before. *A little amused* I wonder how long it took you to come up with that little line.

His bandaged fingers twitch reflexively. Nothing new to him. He barely notices before they apologize for barging into his quarters in the first place. Their eyes drop to the floor, flustered.

*Narrows eyes* It's fine.

Just as he says that, they insist on escorting him back. And he isn't saying no.

*Sneers* You're not babying me. It's my hands, not my legs.

He is relieved by the sudden shift in topic—a homecoming gift in the cabinet. An expensive-looking broom. His first instinct is to admonish them for how much it must've costed, but he knows that's not going anywhere. As if he has the energy.

*Stands, blushing.* ...Thanks. But according to you, I can't walk on my own. Let me see if I can manage carrying this. You''ll just have to take care of the leftovers.

After that, and a little more bickering from him, they in the end reach his door.

*Unimpressed* Yeah. I can see that.

He had been wondering why they insisted on joining him here. He doesn't appreciate people coddling him, as entertaining as the resulting banter is.

They give him a quick peck on the cheek. He is too shocked to react as they say a quick goodnight and leave even quicker. He touches his cheek where there lips just were, wide-eyed. What just happened?

It takes several seconds for their footsteps to recede. He wonders if they were waiting for him to go after them—maybe not. He isn't sure what to think beyond the butterflies swarming in his belly.

[spade-club]

I... hate what my life has become. I am so tired. I am spending the first bit of free time without my partner ive had in weeks sitting here being upset about them instead of being able to enjoy my freedom from them because I know this wont last forever. It'll hardly last two more hours. And I still wont have the fucking conversation with them when they come home because chances are I wont be here and no one else will. That or they'll come home in a mood and I wont want to make shit worse. Its just... unending. All I want to do is make ground rules for if they want to talk to other people & let them know that it did upset me that they went off and did things before the rules were clear with two different people without even telling me. One of those people being their roommate.. I guess ex roommate now. They moved in to our house because their old roommate, after sleeping with them many times, was being a huge fucking dick and I decided to be their safe haven from him??? As if like, them making bad decisions with him wasnt the whole problem right now anyways. Not my problem to fix, but here I am living with them and being miserable all the time now because of it. Like. Yeah, move in with me and my twin bed knowing full well you have no intention of sleeping anywhere else and I have complained to you before, many times, about how hard it is for me to sleep well with you in such a small bed. And then they get mad at me if I fall asleep on the couch. Theres. No. Winning. And I just have to endure this. As if its not my fucking life too. I was here all the time before this. But now I can hardly stand to be around anymore. It's just. Exhausting.

[furiousgoldfish]

Thanks for opening the inbox again, and a huge thank you for being such an awesome source of information and a great person!

Tw emotional stuff, hints of physical(?), drugs and alcohol, and general uncomfortableness

So about a month ago I was able to finally escape my adoptive parents (emotionally and psychologically abusive, neglectful, physically abusive in the way that they overworked me and I developed health problems because of it, and my adoptive mother pretty much ran a cult (hits almost all the points in the BITE model) ). I ended up going to my aunts in a very far away city, and she made herself sound like a really awesome and good person.

But she is... I wont say she is a bad person because that sounds mean and she is letting me stay at her house rent free, but she is... not great.

Firstly, she drinks, and she drinks quite a bit. She'll go outside and drink some bottles if wine and then some beer and get drunk, and like she isnt the worst drunk?? But she likes to drive people around when she is drunk and can be quite uncomfortable. She also smokes a lot of weed and keeps many many large jars of weed in the house, and will get high at random times and still drive people around high and do stuff like that.

She can be okay when she is high, but she is also high or drunk a lot of the time, and has nearly gotten into car crashes because of it (just within my time of being here that has happened multiple times).

When she isnt high or drunk she can get mad at odd things? She hasnt gotten so mad that she attacks (verbally or physically) but shes done that before in the past. Recently one of the things she's been mad at is my cousin and I spending time together, because of a mix of transphobic, queerphobic, sexist and general projection of past people believes that we will get together into a relationship. BUT I (the older one) would be the victim and the target because I'm the poor little orphan child who has gone through a lot in foster care and everything (but she is part of my adoptive mother's cult and loves her and believes everything she says).

She is super super disrespectful and downright inappropriate with my cousin,and us slowly becoming similar to me? In a way at least. She treats me like a stray dog she took in and doesnt really like what I do too much?? She goes to other people and sometimes cries about what I told her because it was "so terribly sad" even though shes put her own kids and grandkids in similar positions? She also shares my personal information to anyone she wants, including the fact that I'm trans.

She has been getting progressively more mad at my cousin and I (for context, my cousin is also on the run from their horrible parentals and dont have a 100% safe place to be, but their current guardians are better than the last) and it's been really really really uncomfortable. She has used manipulation tactics to get what she wants and has triggered our ptsd big time and then calls us weird, creepy, uncomfortable, and immature for reacting that way.

She also has had talks about how weird it is that I have trauma and absolutely refuses the idea my cousin has been traumatized.

Idk what to do because I really need to move out but I'm not ready to move out (just escaped from a cult and trying to adjust to the world without much of a support system because I wasnt allowed to know many people growing up). My cousin really needs a place to stay but with the whole rumors that my aunt is spreading if they came to live with me things would get worse (they are already seemingly getting worse).

I've also been trying to get a list of places to spend time outside of the house so I can get away from my aunt, but that can only last so long and I dont have anywhere I could go overnight (until my cousin's place is free again, but just like them coming here their guardians can get odd).

Do you have any advice or opinions or pointers or anything youcould offer?? I could deeply appreciate any insight from you.

I've uh, sent a few things in to you before and you've been a big help for insight then. I super appreciatethose times of help, thank you for doing what you do.

I'm so happy you got away, that could not have been easy. It's so fucked up they managed to ruin your health beforehand, I've been affected like that too and I despise it.

I had to look up what BITE model is, and it's Behavioural, Information, Thought and Emotional control, extremely cult oriented, and dedicated to keeping a human being completely controlled. It looks terrifying, here's a link to an explanation for anyone else interested.

I'm glad you're at your aunt's place, this sounds horrific. It's okay to complain about your life conditions anytime, even if you don't pay rent, even if you feel like you owe gratitude. It's important to be able to acknowledge when something bothers us, and isn't in line with how we want to live our life, and you're supposed to do it, at all times.

I'm responding to this as I read, because it's so long, and okay the first complaint is big – I don't think anyone abused would feel safe living with a person who drinks a lot. It's unstable, unpredictable, non-reliable, non-consistent person around you, and you do have to always be on your toes, worrying about what will happen next, because drunk people are not at their most responsible – and driving while drunk is dangerous, I'd be upset as well. It would be much safer and more stable to be in the company and under care of people who are sober, reliable, responsible, consistent, emotionally available to you, and this is not the case, and it has to be stressful, and filling you with anxiety.

Almost car-crashes are terrifying! That's human lives being treated as play.

Mad when sober is even worse, that would freak me out so much, I can't imagine how it is for you. Especially if she's attacked you in the past, it can feel like you have to pretend everything is okay on the surface, but in reality, you're just waiting for the moment when you'll inevitably be attacked. This limbo of not-knowing and always expecting it can be just as bad as abuse, I remember hating it even more. I don't know if you do feel like this, but I'm picking up from the circumstances that it's possibly a concern.

Kinda stunned that you're being judged for the possibility of getting into a relationship with a COUSIN, people will just say anything? I'm so sorry, you do not deserve that kind of phobic projections on you, you should be free to spend time with whoever you please, without anyone getting mad. It sounds like the projections are wild and completely misplaced.

Being disrespectful and innapropriate with your cousin also crosses a line, nobody would choose to live with a person who disrespects their loved ones, and it's becoming clear you're stuck there, and stuck tolerating this. Also pretending to be your saviour but then crying to other people how difficult it is to hear about your pain – that's a violation of trust. Who would want to tell someone about abuse, only for that person to go spread it around with their own narrative of how it burdens them?  Sharing your personal information and your trans status is also invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, that's awful anon.

I hope your cousin and you are a support to each other, and can offer some solace and emotional peace to each other, because it sounds like the world is not treating you with love you deserve.

What the aunt is doing to you is not okay, manipulating a person sick with ptsd is absolutely disgusting, lowest trash behaviour. Victim shaming and blaming them, also, garbage and trash behaviour, gross. Nobody should ever be doing that to you, for as long as you're alive.

I understand you can't immediately go and need some time to gather yourself, to make sense of your situation, and to find some stability within, and that's normal and okay. I wish you'd be treated better, because this toxic treatment can make the trauma worse, or prolong it and normalize it since you still have to suffer abuse, but you're progressing, you're moving forward, and even if it takes time to move, it's okay. I believe in you, and I know you'll go to a place that is safe and fills you with security and warmth.

It's smart to spend time outside! I often did that too when with abusers. It is sad that outside can be draining and doesn't work long term.

I wish I could give you an advice, but all I really can is acknowledge that your situation is bad, that you've done everything right, and that you're right to be disappointed and upset at how badly you're still being treated. Based on where you came from, this might seem like something small, easy to overlook, but it does stir emotions in you and you're able to register it as wrong. That's a great progress to make!

You've escaped from worse than this, and I believe you'll do whatever recovery you can under these conditions, and then when you find a way, get even safer, get a place that makes you feel protected. I wish you the best of luck, if anyone has any other piece of advice for anon, please share it.

[idaliascruelworld]

My grandfather died and idk. Its hurts in a way i cant describe. I wasnt always fond of him bc he is kind of conservative and definitely favored my cousin over everyone else but there were so many moments where he deeply cared for me like no one else did.

Like when i said id love to go to the mountains we literally went the same day and the day after.

Or making sure the tv in the room i was sleeping in actually works while not caring if it works anywhere else.

Or when he picked us all up from the airport he would always ask us what we want to eat and not sit down until everyone had something to eat even if its just a slice of bread (tho he would kill us for just eating that and nothing more)

My grandfather was a hardworking man always caring for his garden in his village (we spent most of our time there) he planted several vegetables and had apple and cherry trees. He would wake up early just so he can work around, build us a hammock, prepare the inflatable pool when it was hot outside, plant flowers so it looks nice, drive the extra mile to get us whatever we want.

And now hes dead

He suddenly fell ill and we found out that its some type of cancer. I visited him 2 months after the diagnosis and he was so skinny and so fragile just looking out of the window we werent even allowed to hug him. It was really hard for him to talk or walk or eat or do anything. My hardworking grandfather became a man chained to a chair.

He just became skinnier and skinnier, the medication wasnt helping so he changed it, the new one wasnt helping either so they started chemo in January. That when they said he ll only have four months left to live.

My mother showed me a video of him in the hospital. Even skinnier, no hair bc of chemo. My father crying in the background. My mother had to go to türkiye several times for several weeks so she can help. At some point he had to wear diapers and be fed because he was too weak. I remember being angry at my family for having my mother leave me with my sibling but now i regret nothing more than that it was so selfish of me to say and think that.

On the 19th this month my mother suddenly left to visit him since his condition got really really really worse and just at 1:10 AM 20.02.2024 he died in the hospital.

My brother woke me up to tell me he died i begged them to let me go to türkiye so i can visit his grave and when my brother left the room i looked at the ceiling and started crying for hours

I had to take a later flight than all of my family members so i was flying alone and i cried all the time. I cried and cried and begged him to forgive me and cried and cried and then i was at the village he grew up in, where i spend all of my summers. I went into the house he built for us with his own hands but he wasnt there. I hugged my aunts and uncles and my grandmother and lastly my father and i just couldn't do it anymore.

I had to think about my father and his sibling who just lost their father.

I had to think about my cousins who grew up with him until they moved here and even called him father.

I had to think about my grandmother who had lost her husband of 55 years.

He wont ever pick us up from the airport again

He wont ever protect me from anyone

He wont ever drive me to the mountains

He wont ever grow the best cucumbers and tomatoe ive ever eaten.

He wont ever just walk around in his garden doing stuff since the sunrise.

He wont ever repair stuff we broke.

He wont ever just sit there and watch us have fun.

I wont ever see his face again.

I wont ever hear his voice again.

I saw his grave and there was no tombstone it was just a big pile of dirt with two big stones indicating where his head and feets are. They told me its tradition to wait for the dirt to completely settle on the ground before getting a tombstone which only made it harder to realise.

This year already started horribly and its just getting worse and worse and worse and worse and

[jrpneblog]

Black Cats not so lucky for North End

The sight of a Black Cat is not a memory that North End will want to live long in the memory as Sunderland comprehensively beat North End in this final game of the season. The win took the visitors into fifth place in the division and a play off spot while North End had to suffer the embarrassment of Blackpool winning at Norwich to keep us in the top half of the division. I was angry and frustrated at the end of the game and it wasn`t for the first time this season, I can tell you. The usual end of season collapse occurred once again with North End just taking one point from the final fifteen on offer when we were right on the cusp of the play offs after the Reading game on Easter Monday. It was sickening to watch the Sunderland fans celebrating but only in respect of how it could have been us with a little more investment from the boardroom and tactical nous from the manager. If fact I would like to go on record to say congratulations to Sunderland and their superb travelling support who were easily the nosiest at Deepdale this season. I genuinely hope they win the play off just to show you can come from nowhere with an experienced manager and still make it into the top six.

North End made three changes to the side that were walloped at Bramall Lane nine days ago with Lindsay, Delap and McCann coming in for Hughes, Onomah and Johnson. The game started at a brisk pace with both sides playing at speed. North End more than held their own and for a while we were wondering why we hadn`t played like this all season. I thought the Sunderland defence looked nervous early on and North End had a couple of chance through Cannon and McCann. At the other end Freddie Woodman was earning his corn as usual but it was Liam Delap who missed the chance to put North End ahead in the game when he was clean through and beat the visiting keeper but his shot trickled past the post. It was to be our best chance of the afternoon but it was frittered away. The teams went in at the break after a very entertaining and even first forty five minutes, however, little did we know that North End had booked their holidays starting at half time.

No changes for North End at the break but Sunderland brought on Alex Pritchard at half time in a move that changed the game. The visitors had the first chance of the second half in the opening minutes and after nine minutes of the second period they were ahead when Diallo curved a beautiful shot past Woodman into the net. From that moment there was no way back as North End were lost in a sea of uncertainty as the visitors went from strength to strength. North End had a chance at the other end when Bauer had a header saved but the game was over a few minutes later when Pritchard calmly slotted past Woodman with the keeper rooted to the spot. It wasnt long before the Black Cats made it three and the home fans started to drift out of Deepdale with twenty five minutes of the season left. Just how many of those will come back next season remains to be seen. Clarkes third goal was a sickening blow and although no further embarrassment was heaped on a sorry looking North End the scoreline was certainly reflective of the ninety minutes as a whole with North End fans wondering just where the hell does the club go from here.

So now the inquest begins on the 2022/23 season as North End finish one place higher than last season. I hope to God that I don`t hear the word progress used to described this season because I haven't seen any progress anywhere. A couple of very good loan signings have probably propped us up but the inconsistency of the team and the level of performance, generally, at home have shown absolutely no progress at all this term. When we are good we are a decent side but when we are awful, we are very awful with a distinct lack of an effective Plan B obvious to those who watch at home and away. To be honest the away form has been very good with thirty five points collected on the road, but the twenty eight points at home is relegation form and that is something which must be address. Last Summer North End talked the talk and so did the manager but it was all to no avail with no investment in the playing squad and no improvement from the dug out either. The fans played their part last Summer but even the promised thank you for that has failed to materialise. Big changes needed at Deepdale both on and off the field if this club are to progress, because we all know that in the Championship a target of consolidation usually means relegation at some point. I think our final league position flatters us and to say I am worried about next season is an understatement unless there are some significant strategic changes at the football club.

.

PRESTON 0-3 SUNDERLAND

.

WOODMAN 7

STOREY 6 BAUER 5 LINDSAY 5

POTTS 6 LEDSON 5 McCANN 7 FERNADEZ 7

PARROTT 6

CANNON 6 DELAP 6

.

Subs:

ONOMAH 6

WOODBURN 6

.

MOTM: Freddie Woodman

Attendance 21,177

Preston Fans 15,463 (73.02%)

[strawberryjmilk]

Can you do a jisung imagine where the reader is like a yt gamer and uses a fake screen name to just play games and ends up meeting jisung and maybe like the first time they meet in person is when the reader is having like an anxiety attack or something. YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD

this has taken way too long and probably isnt in the format you want it to be, or proper plot BUT! i have many. thoughts.

WARNING - depictions of claustrophobia and a panic attack!

picture this: you are a streamer who goes by the name of cherry

“no, not because i keep eating candy on stream! shut up, all of you.”

a faceless streamer - one who still gained the hearts of many people easily

cherry was everything you weren’t  - outspoken, outgoing, confident. everything you yearned for and ached to be

but y/n was your safety shell - the way you’d grown up and looked after yourself and talked yourself down from anxiety

your fans understood that, and allowed you the privacy and safety of shutting away as y/n when you needed to

‘breaks are allowed, cherry!’ ‘take a breather, bestie, we’ll be here.’

they were so understanding and warm - especially the one who called themselves ‘ji’

‘a nickname,’ they messaged you one day. ‘like yours, i guess. ji is who the public sees, sometimes.’

that made you feel better - you weren’t the only one who hid behind a name and facade 

anyways - the name cherry!

it was because, “everyone looks good in the color red. have you seen the kpop idols who wear it? they all look phenomenal!”

naturally, that had everyone in your chat section blabbering about kpop

you shouldn’t have said anything bestie-

“everyone is yelling at me to go watch- what’s that say? back door? that better not be slang for anything!”

“just by looking at the thumbnail, i know we’re going to be having a swell time, friends.”

‘who’s your favorite?’ “i haven’t even started the video-”

‘PLAY THE VIDEO BESTIE’ “okay, geez, why are you yelling?”

30 seconds into the music video, you paused it. you simply stared, before glancing at your chat with your hands folded in front of you

“i’ve made a grand mistake, friends.” you took a deep breath, looking at the music video again before shaking your head. “who is that? their name? age? zodiac sign? coffee order?”

thus began your stray kids journey - more specifically, your han jisung journey

‘hes so pretty’ you’d told ji. it wasnt unusual for you to talk to fans - cherry made friends with them easily. y/n, however, felt like you were crossing boundaries 

but, you never went further than a conversation or two

meeting up with anyone was out of the question

except for them - ji

they mentioned it constantly, meeting up. and you never said no

the option was always on the table

when you mentioned kpop, though, it took ji a while to respond

only then, too - even if you had a timezone issue, ji responded quickly

‘im going to meet them, one day’

‘ill see you then, cherry’

that day came sooner than you were comfortable with

you bit your lip, looking over the red sweater you’d pulled over your head. on brand, you were carrying a cherry-themed bag with you

stray kids were going to kcon - and so were you

you let out a breath at the crowd - for some reason, you weren’t expecting this many people to show up

another body bumped into you and that seemed to be your ending point - the one thing that sent you spiraling

hunched over with your hands on your knees, you couldn’t see or hear anything else

your breathing was heavy and faltering at the same time - heart stopping and speeding up with its own mind

“-okay?” someone was talking to you. you heaved in another breath, opening your eyes. you didn’t even know you closed them. “can you hear me?”

“panicking.”

“i can see that.” they paused, and you could hear them conversing with someone else. “can i help you move to a wall? it’s away from the crowd.”

you nodded and suddenly you were stable, back against a wall that you slid down until your butt hit the floor

you let out a breath, “those suck.”

as soon as you opened your eyes, you snapped them shut again. “that’s embarrassing, please tell me im dreaming.”

“sorry, you’re not.” chan said - bang chan had moved you away from a crowd as you panicked

you let out a groan, sliding further down the wall

“don’t be embarrassed, please,” chan said. he sat beside you, eyes roaming around the crowd, “im just glad you’re okay now.”

“yeah, thanks for that.”

“oh, you’re okay!”

as if your life couldn’t get any worse, han jisung was stood in front of you now

he held a bottle of water out to you with a smile. “figured you needed this.”

“jisung’s the one who spotted you.”

“god, this is humiliating.”

that caused both boys to chuckle as you sipped at the water slowly

jisung was now sat to your left

and then he caught sight of your outfit - and your bag

but that wouldve been too coincidental, right?

“cherry?” it was a mumble, but you heard it

“yeah?” you weren’t supposed to answer 

jisungs eyes widened - “wait, really?”

“really what?”

his eyes narrowed now and you busied yourself by finishing off your water, looking anywhere but at him

your phone dinged - a perfect distraction

it was ji - ‘you arent very good at hiding your identity.’

that made you tilt your head

‘i mean, the cherry themed outfit really gives you away’

you gulped - ji was here? and could see you??

‘to your left, idiot’

you turned to see jisung pocket his phone, staring at you with a grin

“i wish this was a nightmare.”

“now thats just rude cherry.”

“whatever you say, ji.”

kcon was a lot more exhausting than you thought itd be

but you went home with a smile and a new contact in your phone

thank you for requesting! decided to try out a new way of writing - its a lot quicker so tell me how you like it! thank you for reading, ♡

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[liechi-berry-imagines]

Suppose their (soon to be) s/o's a grunt in their organization, how would each of the pokevillains go about with seducing them into staying by their side and (more importantly) joining them in the bedroom? 👀💦

*cracks knuckles* I'll try my best 👀💦

Giovanni

He wouldnt do much of anything at first, just watching them from a distance. He will start calling them more and more to his office to do random tasks. One day when they're cleaning his desk off while he watches from behind in his desk chair, he slowly wraps his hands around their waist and pull them into his lap. He tells them that they caught his eye and wants them by his side, more than just a grunt and he will pay anything for it. While his hands are on their thighs.

ORAS archie

He invited them over to go surfing after work. After they tell him taht they dont know how to surf, he takes this opportunity to teach them. He tries to hide his blush when seeing them in their swimsuit. He gets a surfboard that's for beginners and goes on to teach them. When in the water, the grunt is having difficulty and is stiff, while on their knees trying to stand on the surfboard. After a few hours of this, they get back to the base and are going to change into dry clothes. Archie says he has a new uniform in his room. After they follow him there, he pins them to the wall, moves his head closer and kiss their cheek, saying how good they are doing today, but itll be better if they were by his side instead.

ORAS Maxie

Once they catch his eye, he doesnt know what to do. As is been a long while since he had a crush or anything, it hit him like a truck. After a while of thinking it through, he finds an idea to slowly get closer. He would ask them to do coffee runs for him everyday, and he would compliment something about them. Compliments like "I love how your hair looks today" and he would feel amazing seeing their face light up and them smiling at that. One day he pretends to "accidentally" spill coffee on their shirt, and apologize. Then he says it's okay if they took their shirt off there, he wouldnt mind. They blush and giggle a little, and Maxie blushes realizing what he said. "Or I can take it off for you" he says in a purr as he gets closer, holding the bottom of their shirt.

RSE Archie

He would probably be flirtatious, always wanting this grunt to feel his muscles or something. Even asks if he can massage them after hard days. One day after a very difficult mission, he calls them to his room. Once they get there, he asks if they need another massage. After the nod shyly, he asks if they can lay down on his bed as it's easier. Once they lay on their belly and get gets ontop of them to message their shoulders and back, he tries to hold himself back from just ravaging them. As he slowly and deeply message them, they make low moans and stick their butt up against his crotch. He instantly because hard and just starts grinding into them

RSE Maxie

He would make missions where it's only the two of them. He will get closer by each one they do, but he will act distant just to make the grunt confused. Sometimes he will "accidentally" brush up against them and pretend he didnt mean it at all. One time they make a mistake during a mission and after they get back to the base, he calls them to his quarters. They sit on the couch across from his desk nervously, an he glares holes into them, but smirks. He stands up, slowly walking over to them, and tells them to look at him. He grabs their wraith to stand up and holds them in his grasp tightly. He starts saying what hes been planning for this long, but the grunt doesnt focus in his words, they just stand there blushing as he grinds into them while he speaks. He grabs the back of their hair and kisses them, it escalates

Cyrus

He doesn't know he likes the grunt at first. He starts giving the grunt more attention and special tasks without realizing, as well as giving them extra speeches during a coffee break or something. The admins found out and would tease him, then they would get pinched for doing it. Once he realizes he has...feelings for someone, he locks himself in his room. During this time is when this grunt and him share time by having coffee together. When they get there and see its locked, they get worried. They knock, and here sniffling. After some persuading, he unlocks the door slowly. They step in and see him. He takes a depe breath and explains everything. Then he gets over confident, and grabs them in for a deep kiss. Its sloppy but they dont care. The grunt kicks the door closed and deepens the kiss

Ghetsis:

He would treat them like a queen/king/anything in between. He would give compliments but it would sound kinda condescending but its better than what he says about everyone else. Hed invite them to his place in the base to hear an important speech that you have to tell the people of Unova, while they write down what he wants, he plays with their hair which is kinda distracting. After hes done with what they wrote down for it. He will take their hand and lead them to his bedroom. Saying he has another thing in mind.

Lysandre

Once he starts getting feelings for this grunt, he would start to invite them to his cafe, give them free lunches and coffee whenever they please. He would compliment them everyday and get them to help him more with Team Flares plans. Hed also give them a rare Holo Caster, with his number on it. One day he asks them out to a fancy restaurant and they can order anything off of the menu, he wouldnt mind. After an evening of that, he will hold their hands and ask them if they wanna join him in his room, after they say yes, he will gently carry them to his room and his room already looks set up with candles and everything, showing that he was planning on something

Guzma:

He would walk with them to and from the old mansion to missions and would worry about them. He would check in on them alot because he knows people are assholes. One time he saw another grunt slap their ass and that grunt wasnt seen again. He called them to his room after that to talk. Once the grunt got there, he apologized for what that other grunt did even though it wasnt his fault. He Pat's his lap and asks with a smirk if sitting in his lap will make them feel better. He then started kissing anywhere he can and holding them tightly with his strong arms, calling them so many nice things. He picked them up and flopped them in the bed 💦

Lusamine

She would notice how good they are at the aether foundation and treat them for a day with her to online shop. She buys them anything they like. She looks at them, "you know I can be your sugar mommy right?" she giggles. " But that means pulled have to pay me back in physical attention~" she strokes their face with her slender fingers. "What do you say?" She says how cute of a sugar baby they would be. After they agree, she makes them straddle her on the desk and pulls them in for a deep kiss

[raveneira]

Warning: If you ship BoruSara or KawaSumi keep scrolling because this post is not for you, if you read it anyway dont complain to me about it because you were warned in advance.

Gonna be a bit controversial again, but since ppl like throwin around [sourceless] interviews, I figured its only fair to point out ones that completely debunks it. Since yall love sayin "Kishimoto said you cant change the couples halfway through"

Its about time someone finally kills this with some context once and for all, because unlike the lies that were spread on me, your the ones spreading false information. So lets delve into the actual facts shall we?

For starters Kishimoto NEVER said that, atleast not in that context. In reality he was strictly talking about NS and why despite the studio, several staff, and even his own wife pushing for it, he considered it but ultimately decided against it because at that point it was halfway through the series and having her suddenly change her feelings from Sasuke to Naruto now would make her a terrible woman, that & he says Sakura has always been wholeheartedly inlove with Sasuke, THATS why he didnt do it at the halfway point.

It had nothing to do with him saying you CANT do it cuz you clearly can & he clearly considered it, he decided against it ONLY because of the circumstances & the feelings of the characters. Plus NH/SS were always his intended endgame so he had no desire to change it to begin with

He just briefly debated it due to so many ppl wanting it. Also when asked he said he decided NH from the middle, but in another interview he said early on but doesnt give a specific timeframe like he did SS.

What makes the most sense here is he chose NH early on but didnt have his mind made up until the middle, which was around the time he was considering NS instead but then firmly set his mind on NH once he decided against it. Thats what makes the most sense from what he said.

For context on what I mean about the timeframe, the VAs specifically says SS was decided around the beginning of the anime, but with NH Kishi only said early stages which could be either or. Early stages is a broad timeframe because that could literally be anywhere in pt 1.

Moving on from that, if Kishimoto DID decide on NH from the middle, if he infact considers the middle as 'early stages' and isnt contradicting himself, then that alone blows yall entire argument out the water. But since theres so much uncertainty lets not speculate any further.

To add on to him 'deciding pairings early on and you have to focus on which ships are developed from the beginning' is also false and once again based on his statements completely out of context and a sourceless interviews. Infact Kishimoto completely contradicts this.

He left the romance up to the characters and focused on the main story and see where everything goes from there. COINCIDENTALLY Sakura and Naruto were different and he decided their romances early on, it wasnt planned, he just happened to of decided for them before anyone else.

Romance he claims in several interviews was never his primary focus nor something he was actively conscious of, due to his shyness around the subject, altho he still included romantic elements he admits he wasnt really comfortable really delving into their love stories.

Which is why he was glad SP took that off his hands with The Last since without them, he had no intention on writing their love story and woulda left it as is. My point here is this 'You cant change halfway' & 'you have to focus on the main couple from the beginning' bs is wrong

It's all based on twisted interviews, unsourced made up interviews, and things taken completely out of context. In short, just because ykw has had development and moments since the beginning does not mean its the intended endgame, it just means their MCs.

Just because Kishimoto COINCIDENTALLY was able to decide on Naruto and Sakuras relationships early on does not mean the same happened here, infact, since he never even intended for a sequel and was vehemently against it but forced into it anyway, the chances of him having decided on the endgame ships early on like yall say is slim to none, since there was never any intention for a continuation anytime soon because he was done with the franchise and tryin to move on to something new.

If anything he had his NEW series romance planned out, the series he was ACTUALLY invested in doing, not Boruto's.

In short, you cant use a coincidence as definitive proof that EVERY TIME the ships will be decided early on when he literally said he leaves it up to the characters and doesnt consciously think about it. Romance is not his primary focus, but he writes the stories and the characters and see how things play out and go from there, but ultimately he mostly lets the characters decide for themselves.

Finally, having lots of 'development' and 'hints' does not mean that ship is endgame, Kishimoto made it very clear he intentionally mislead fans into thinking their ship was gonna happen by throwing in a bunch of 'nuggets' as red herrings, the MinaKushi parallels especially.

So if anything, the more development and hints you have goin for you, the higher the chance your being mislead by more of those 'nuggets' being thrown in to deceive you from the truth lol But tbh even with those nuggets he still made it relatively obvious SS and NH were endgame

Despite all the misleads and red herrings for NS, he never implied Sakura was moving on nor Hinata. If ppl didnt see that then thats a you problem, I can get how ppl were mislead but not how they were surprised by the outcome.

So far in Boruto theres no such strong evidence like there was in OG, the only confirmed Semi Canon ship in Boruto thus far is BoruSumi, every other ship is up in the air rn but one things for sure, any long time fan of the series knows when a girl wholeheartedly loves a guy

She never moves on from him, even if he marries someone else or dies she will always remain devoted to that guy and never move on to someone else. Ino is not a good counter to this, her feelings for Sasuke were on the same lvl as all his other random fangirls.

It wasnt genuine, she quickly became attracted to Sai and started flirting with him while supposedly 'still' loving Sasuke, and in her dream she literally has Sai and Sasuke fighting over her. Thats not someone wholeheartedly inlove with someone, she was fickle af.

No shade to Ino this time Im just making a point that this argument for why Sumire can move on because Ino did is false, her feelings for Sasuke have never been genuine or wholehearted THATS why she moved on. I have no idea why anyone even brings up Ino in this argument when SasuIno is literally just as bad as SasuHina with the only difference being Ino spoke and interacted with him ONCE in the OG series, but never again. Their incomparable.

Sumire however DOES wholeheartedly love Boruto, the kanji used to describe her love literally confirms this isnt just some infatuation or crush, but genuine love. So although your free to ship her with whoever you want, any Sumire ship at this point is dead on arrival. So get ready to end up like SK dead flower shippers, you have more than enough time to prepare yourselves for disappointment because red flags are everywhere for you.

And before you use the tired excuse of 'Ppl learn from their mistakes' pump the breaks because Kishimoto never regretted or viewed his endgame ships as mistakes, infact he was SHOCKED that they even caused so much controversy.

Stop tryin to wiggle out of the obvious, there is a clear cut running theme in Naruto that has never changed and was never regretted

1 when a girl truly falls inlove her feelings dont change easily, they cant change, this is emphasized all throughout Naruto and literally spoken in words in The Last movie, referring to both Sakura and Hinata’s feelings for their respective loves.

2 History repeats itself ALOT with relationships, theres literally 2 other versions of NaruSaku [ObiRin, JiraTsuna] and SasuSaku [FugaMiko, KakaRin] and 4 of NaruSasu [Yahi/Naga, Kaka/Obi, Jira/Oro, Ind/Ash]

I mean what more do you need? Boruto IS a Naruto sequel so repeating previous themes are inevitable, theres no getting around it. If you cant see Boruto & Kawaki are new gen SNS, KawaSara is new gen SS, BoruSumi is new gen NH then I dunno wtf to tell you.

And no, this is not me saying that their copies or the exact same in anyway, none of yall made that BS assumption when it came to OG pairings being similar to various previous ones so dont try that nonsense now, you know exactly what I mean. 

Plus sharing similarities is inevitable, you cant escape it when you have characters of the same tropes and archetypes and children of previously established characters your gonna see similarities regardless, theres no getting around it. You cant have the kids NOT act like their parents and you cant have the rivals NOT act like rivals and so on and so forth, its inevitable.

Anyway this thread turned out WAY longer than I intended it to so Ima cut it here, doubt anyones even gonna read all this but if yall do then you a real one lol

Ppl can get mad at this all they want but honestly idgaf, Im not writing the series, I didnt make the themes, I dont control which pairings happen, so dont get mad at me for pointing out the obvious.

And before anyone try to come at me with 'Well wheres your sources?' I gotchu fam dont even worry bout it, I never bring up anything without sources so here yall go, fact check away.

https://www.mediafire.com/file/0mni8zktkhcdo4q/Sources.rtf/file

Heads up though, the Saiyan island website is down so unfortunately I cant include it but it was a pretty reliable website for Naruto news among other things.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Why isnt Amity Park a famous tourist town?

Its only a few people who notice at first. Those few people arent anything special but they all have one thing in  common. They all have family outside of Amity Park who visit more than once a year. It isnt until the holiday season do others start to notice. Their families are having trouble with finding the town. These families have been visiting for years and even with the GPS they’re still getting lost. If they dont actually follow someone who lives in Amity Park to the town they cant seem to find it. They keep missing their Exit or the GPS activity takes them to the closest building outside the town and then starts rerouting them as if they missed a turn.

Once the people who live in the town getting to thinking about they start to realise but the outside world doesnt think about them at all. “Aunt Carol used to call me every month but thinking back i had to call her last year and she never actually started the call?” “My online friends dont message me nearly as much as they did last year!” “Im havent gotten one email from when i was looking for jobs in Iowa.” Small thinks people didnt notice but started adding up. No one outside of the town had even thought about anything Amity Park related. It wasnt like Grandma suddenly didnt care about her sweet little her sweet little grandnabies. No they just never crossed her mind. Which was od for a lot of people to accept at first, but the more people thought about it the more and more they started to think something was wrong with the town and not the people who love them. One person said it and the idea spread like tumbleweeds. Everyone who heard it left the idea growing wherever they went.

The idea that so many people shared now was that once Amity Park went into the ghost zone and back it changed how the world interacted with it. It was the only thing that the people could come up with as to why no one outside its limits even had the place cross their minds. Sure some people came up with crazy ideas about the government trying to eradicate Amity Park but once you spoke with someone outside the town about Amity it was clear that wasnt the case. The only event that the people could link close to what they think is “the shift” is when they went to the ghost zone. So they accept it. Rather easily too. Family and friends from outside the town try to get some to move, fearful of completely forgetting their loved ones. But this is their home, this is where their life is. They arent going anywhere just because Uncle Jack needs someone to pick him up outside city limits. No they will stay and live on here. Its not like they noticed the change until they had to show people how to get into town.

The real reason no one thinks of Amity Park isnt because the little field trip to the Zone the city made. No it all started when Danny Became a ghost. No one noticed because he was still a weaker ghost. One his power grew so did the size of his lair. His obsession grew bigger and bigger as he started protecting not just his friends, but his family, his school, and soon his whole town. It stopped at the town once they went to the Zone though. Had that not happened it would have kept growing with each place he protected people in. Once it went to the zone it was like Amity became a real lair. Unlike most ghost lairs which are based off some place in the living world, Dannys was the same place in both the living world and the ghost. The people are apart of it now too. The true reason none of them want to leave isnt because they like it their. No part of them deep down is attached to the town. They are a piece of Dannys lair and since his obsession is keeping them safe they stay.

Oof thats a long one. Honestly this could go either way too. Like since lairs probably change based on how their hosts state is. If danny doesnt age then neither do the people of amity. Just a small town of people who dont realise “till danny does which takes a hella long time” they arent ageing.

Or on the same level once Danny dies so does everyone else. And the lair disappears causing a whole city to go with it. Once the veil drops over the rest of the world everyone is freaking out about a town up and vanishing over night. People can think about Amity again just in time to find out all of its gone. Everyones gone.

[angelicmichael]

living after midnight

Brooke Thompson x Montana Duke

Summary: Brooke and Montana get a bit intoxicated and get a bit carried away while going night swimming. Based off this post I made a week ago hehe

Words: 3.1k+

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and also vague mentions of weed, stripping (no nudity tho LOL), lotssss of sexual tension, lots of fluff, slowburn, friends to lovers, weird yearning angst for like .02 seconds lmao

A/N: Hey guys, sorry if this is random but I got random inspo for brotana so.. here this is lmao. Believe it or not I did try to make this under 1k words but.. I got carried away so I’m sorry that’s it’s long 😭. But the fic happens sometime after Brooke and Montana meet but before any camp redwood fuckery happens lmao. Anyway I hope y’all like this!! This is also probably the fastest I’ve ever written a fic so I hope it’s atleast decent haha. Anyway enjoy <3

A gentle breeze danced against Brookes exposed skin. The midnight air cold on its own regard but it seemed to blend perfectly with the extensive heat that radiated from the bonfire she sat in front of.

The night was entirely pitch black. The moon was vacant from the sky, leaving the only source of light to come from the giant fire that sat at Brookes shoes.

It was admittedly a bit unsettling being in almost the total darkness, especially with how many girls had recently gone missing in L.A as of late but the beer in her system had mostly put those thoughts to rest. Plus, being with three men and Montana was also reassuring. Even if she didn’t exactly know Xavier, Chet or Ray that well but.. she knew Montana.

It was nearly impossible to forget about how they met.. in the girls locker room in the showers and well; it’s not as if things were any less weird now. Showers or not.

It’s not as if Brooke and Montana were best friends or super close, because that definitely wasnt the case; but they weren’t acquaintances either by any means. The weird tension and ‘playfulness’ that lied between them ruled out being friends.. or that’s Brooke liked to think anyway when she had one too many things to drink. Like now.

Her legs twitched a bit restlessly; content at the ambience that surrounded her but not content with her current state of being. Like how she knew she should be enjoying herself, drunk, not caring about particularly anything at all but instead all she could do was fucking care. Her thoughts were purely infiltrated with Montana and it was embarrassing, to say the least but now that she was intoxicated there was really no harm in fighting it. No matter how annoying and taunting those thoughts truly were.

After all, Why should she not think about how nice it would be to feel Montana’s hands (which she knew had to be soft and delicate) on her waist and down her back? Why should she not think about Montana’s soft lips moving against her own, a few strands of her bleached hair (which definitely had lost it softness due to excessive over bleaching) brushing up against her face accidentally?

That was a rhetorical question; because she knew exactly why she avoided those type of thoughts on a normal day to day basis. Not because it would make things awkward between them but because it was beyond fucking painful to imagine scenarios that would never happen.. Never.

The smell of the fire and the sounds of the wood crackling, which was far too dry and poorly stacked (neither Xavier, Chet or Ray could build a proper fire to save their life), helped bring Brooke out of her thoughts and bit more into reality. So did the gentle sway of the tree branches which she could see in her peripheral vision, since they were right on the cusp of a forest that cut off to a beach. Ocean waves which slowly dragged across the sand were also soothing to listen too, albeit distant over the sound of Brookes friends screaming and laughing and being heavily intoxicated over what was more than just alcohol and weed.

Brooke reached down and swiftly grabbed the beer can which was previously lodged upright in the sand. Lifting the can up to her lips and cringing and unconsciously tensing up as she swallowed until the can was nearly weightless - wiping her mouth with the back of her hand just to see-

“Montana?!” Brooke nearly yelled. Both alcohol and temporary shock making her speak way louder than what was realistically needed.

Montana, who was previously standing several feet away with the boys was suddenly seated right next to Brooke on the log with no warning. Probably having moved over while Brooke was poorly chugging the alcohol she hated.. but she couldn’t help but to notice that their thighs (as well as basically their entire sides) were touching as she tried to wipe the alcohol that had embarrassingly dripped down her front in a frenzy.

Chet and Xavier looked back at them from a few feet away as they smoked what Brooke knew had to be a joint. Briefly laughing and giving the pair of women an amused glance before turning around and immersing themselves in whatever conversation they were previously having.

Brooke sheepishly met Montana’s gaze, feeling her cheeks grow nearly unbearably hot at the awareness that she was now being watched.. studied almost.

“Sorry,” Brooke added with a giggle.

Montana responded with a slight upturn of her lips; amused with Brookes actions not because she found it necessarily funny or pitiful, but for the sole reason that.. it was cute and endearing that Brooke couldn’t really hold her alcohol for shit.

It made her unique and different from everyone else Montana acquainted herself with. People that Montana had to basically learn to keep up with.. but Brooke on the other hand was different.. She was a breath of fresh air, and that’s why Montana assumed she was so attracted to her (besides her looks, of course).

Montana tried her best to ignore and not be bothered by the fact that Brooke was wasting perfectly good alcohol by wiping it off herself (alcohol that Montana wouldn’t necessarily mind licking off Brookes lips.. or her neck, or really anywhere else off of her). Instead focusing on how suffocated she felt here.

It wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. After all; she loved Chet, Xavier and Ray dearly but.. they were also undoubtedly preventing anything from happening between her and Brooke.. and that needed to change.

Montana huffed. Her deep brown eyes quickly flickering at the flame and then Brooke before speaking.

“Im bored,” she announced. Suddenly standing up and not letting her eyes break the gaze she suddenly held with Brooke.

Brooke responded with a simple hum. Her jaw quickly dropping once she noticed that Montana’s bright red nails quickly darted down under her own shirt. Hooking the material under her fingertips before quickly raising the shirt up and over her head. Throwing it back somewhere behind the log Brooke still sat on.. somewhere where Brooke was almost certain Montana wouldn’t be able to locate later.. which was probably done on purpose.

Brookes jaw still stayed ajar when she saw Montana’s hands automatically fly down to the small jean shorts she was wearing. She could do nothing but watch as she saw the button unhook- wait.. what exactly was happening?

“Montana, what are you doing?” Brooke asked with a laugh.

Brooke tried her best to fight the urge to look at her friend who was now well.. in her bra and underwear, out of what she was trying to convince herself was respect, but it wasn’t working. She knew for a fact her cheeks had to burnt bright fucking red; she tried to laugh off the feeling but Montana still stared.. her smile slowly growing wider until sudden laughter momentarily broke the tension again.

Brooke and Montana both looked behind them just to find the boys laughing and whooping as well at Montana’s sudden lack of clothes.

Brooke smiled back at them but it only lasted a second before she found herself overtaken with a emotion she never really felt around Montana before.. was it jealousy?

Just the sight of them staring at Montana (who obviously didn’t give a fuck, or was thriving off the attention more than anything) was enough to make Brooke stand up.

“Go swimming with me?” Brooke suddenly proposed. More than certain that her sudden impulsivity was coming from the alcohol more than anything.. it had to be, right?

Brooke looked Montana in the eyes again as she watched the other woman’s expression suddenly change at her words; looking utterly shocked and.. maybe a bit thrilled.

“You want to go swimming?” Montana nearly sneered, her tone reeked off utter disbelief, “and what are you gonna wear?”

Brooke laughed at what the other woman was implying. Her dark brown eyes slipped down to admire the rest of Montana’s body that she dared not to look at previously. Only looking for a second at the matching cherry red set that Montana wore. A bra which was most definitely too tight and cut a bit small, along with a thong with sat a bit high on her hips which only accentuated her figure even further.

She didn’t have time to think; her eyes darting back up to meet Montana’s which she knew were watching her.

“I’m not going naked-“

“You don’t have too. It’s not like their gonna see us anyway once we get away from the fire. Here.”

They both spoke in hushed whispers. Weirdly paranoid that maybe the boys would overhear and wanna join which- was something they both clearly didn’t want, although unspoken.

The distance between them was minimal enough due to alcohol (and other substances in Montana’s case) running high in their systems. Making personal space something that was now nonexistent.

Montana extended her hand out to Brooke to take. She quickly grabbed her hand, hoping desperately it wasn’t sweaty from how close they were to the fire and also.. just from the situation she was bound to find herself in. But due to Montana’s reaction (or lack thereof) she knew she had nothing to worry about.. sweaty palms or not, she knew Montana wouldn’t judge her. No matter how insane the circumstance; Brooke always felt safe around Montana. That’s why she supposed she was currently following her into the pitch black - her vision getting more and more sparse as they walked away from the fire and into some nearby trees that framed the beach..

“Are you sure they can’t see me?” Brooke asked, trying her best to look through the trees and see if any of her friends happened to be looking but - she couldn’t really make out anything besides the subtle outline of her surroundings which included Montana.

“They can’t see you. Relax,” Montana said with a giggle. “Now do I need to help you undress? Your taking forever and I’m hot- and it’s not like I haven’t seen you wearing less-“

Brooke tried her best to look offended and shocked by her reference to how they met. She knew that normally with nothing in her system she would’ve easily sidestepped Montana’s ruthless flirting but.. something felt different about tonight. After all; why should she keep trying so hard to resist something they both felt? And it wasn’t like anyone could see them anyway..

Brooke quickly turned her head to where she knew Montana was and stepped closer until they were barely a foot apart. Her feet nearly stumbled on Montana’s from the proximity; biting her lip to prevent herself from stupidly giggling once she felt hot breath on her cheek.

She grabbed Montana’s hands which first held hers back limply but briefly held hers tighter before Brooke directed her hands on her shirt.

“Take it off,” Brooke uttered. Her voice barely audible but not quite loud enough to be discerned as a whisper.

Montana didn’t hesitate as she quickly took Brookes shirt off, barely feeling the soft fabric against her fingertips before she quickly threw it behind them into the forest. Montana didn’t wait for Brooke to say anything before her fingers were quickly undoing the button and the zipper of her jean shorts which were only thrown somewhere in the forest as well (hopefully near her shirt.. Brooke could only hope).

Brooke tried her best to not look bothered by her sudden lack of clothes but she also knew that was purely idiotic since they were in the pitch black.

Nevertheless she looked down at herself, trying to discern whether her figure was actually visible or not but Montana grabbed her hand again. Making her gaze snap upward as she led her out. She knew they were going out to the water now; the sand under her feet and the fire now visible from a distance as they continued to go out. The sand becoming more grainy and nearly painful to step on as they got closer to the water.

Brooke quickly looked over her shoulder before she took the first step in - still holding onto Montana’s hand. She quickly glanced to see if any of the men they had came with were watching but surely enough they were still talking and laughing as if they didn’t even notice they had gone missing.. and they probably hadn’t given how fucked up they were.

Perfect.

She continued to hold onto Montana’s hand as she went further and further into the water; not phased by the sudden coolness she felt as the water wrapped around her legs.. submerging her further and further until they both finally stopped. The water lapping around Brookes waist, and well, nearly Montana’s chest since she was a few inches shorter than Brooke.

The water seemed to be a perfect temperature despite them being at the ocean; and the rocks had since disappeared under their feet and changed back into soft sand which also made the current situation a bit more enjoyable.

Brooke tilted her head back a bit, worried momentarily that her hair might get wet but it was worth it. It was absolutely breathtaking.

The night sky which previously looked completely black and void of any light whatsoever was now painted with what looked to be a million stars.

“Do you see this?” Brooke asked.

“What, the stars?” Montana answered, her voice holding a bit of amusement to it and almost as if she was trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah,” Brooke affirmed with a nod. Still keeping her gaze fixated to the night sky.

“What about them?” Montana asked.

The water rippled a bit as Montana started to a take a few steps closer towards Brooke, dissatisfied at the distance between them.

“Nothing. I just- it’s beautiful. I never do things like this,” Brooke responded, tilting her head down to make eye contact with Montana as she finished her sentence.

Montana smirked.

“Never?” She asked with a laugh. “C'mon. I’m not wet enough, let’s go deeper.”

Before Brooke could protest, Montana grabbed both of her hands and pulled her deeper in the water.

“But I didn’t bring a towel!”

“Your not gonna need one. We can warm up by the fire, remember?”

They continued to keep wading until the water almost spilled over Montana’s shoulders. The water barely touching Brookes collarbones but getting some of her hair wet regardless.

She hesitantly let go of the other woman’s hand in the water, intent on using her hand to help her gain balance since a few rocks were still on the ocean ground but - the exact opposite happened.

Brooke didn’t even have time to gasp or scream before her left foot quickly slid on a random rock that just.. of course.. had to fucking be there. Her hands quickly landed on Montana’s shoulders; the rest of her body accidentally falling into the other woman’s but she only felt Montana’s hands suddenly grab gently at her back. Holding her in place against her body.

Brookes eyes instinctively closed shut but when she slowly opened them and reluctantly lifted her head higher up (silently cursing herself for accidentally getting her hair almost entirely wet now) she noticed.. how close they were to each other.

Her nose was only centimeters away from Montana's shoulder.. which meant-

“Are you okay?” Montana asked softly, speaking unintentionally right next to her ear which made a shiver run up Brookes spine.

“Mhm,” Brooke responded.

She rose her head up further - her vision fully black now due to closing her eyes so tightly and being disoriented from slipping, but she knew from hearing Montana’s voice that she had to be close. Very close.

Moving her head a bit to the left.. almost microscopically, not wanting whatever ‘this’ was to necessarily be clumsy but she knew she didn’t necessarily have a choice in the dark.

“What are you doing?” Montana continued to whisper.

Brooke couldn’t help but to smile and let out a giggle that made her sound far more drunk than she actually was. She knew exactly where Montana’s lips were now due to her speaking. Thank god.

“You’ll see.”

Brooke leaned in slowly. Briefly bumping noses before catching Montana’s lips with her own. The feeling so heavenly and overdue - not enough but simultaneously far too much to take in all at once.

The taste of dull, gut wrenching beer started to flood her mouth. It was all that Montana basically tasted like.. that and a bit like smoke but Brooke didn’t mind. If anything it made the feelings of infatuation temporarily stronger. Brookes nails started to pierce the other woman’s back; wanting nothing more than to just have.. more. More of Montana; her taste, her hands, her touch.. the feeling was both pathetic but impossible to fight any longer.

The mere thought that this was something she was previously holding herself back from having was almost laughable but- that would be something to think about for another time.

Montana’s lips softly broke from hers.

“Eager.. aren’t you?” She teased.

Brookes eyes still refused to adjust but she knew Montana had to be grinning.

“Sorry.. I just-“

“Don’t be sorry. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Montana said lowly.

Montana suddenly leaned in with no warning. Her hands softly grabbed Brookes shoulders; leaning in to pull her bottom lip with her teeth.

After she let go, the feeling to kiss her again was strong but.. she thought of something better. The thrill of the chase was something Brooke always enjoyed, after all.

Brooke took a few steps back suddenly before quickly heading for the shore. Not really going that fast at all due to the resistance of the water pushing up against her legs but she laughed regardless.

She could hear Montana laughing and calling her a jerk in the distance but it was all just noise at this point. Her voice, the water rushing, the fire and their friends (which grew gradually louder as she approached) all started to sound the same.

Maybe the alcohol was finally kicking in.

Even though Brooke definitely felt tipsy, she still felt nervous the closer she got from being fully submerged out of the water. Maybe it was due to the fact she wasn’t certain what was going to happen at the fire, or if their friends had even heard anything but she knew atleast now she would have Montana. Exactly how she had Montana was something to be determined later, but as she finally stepped out and away from the nearly black ocean waves and ran up to the fire to go wait for Montana - she was comforted by the thought that things would now never be the same and forever would be different between the two of them.

Which had to be a good thing; right?

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[wickedpact]

[waggles finger angrily in direction of computer screen] KEANE!

ok so i Started saying this in that other post but the Thing About keane is that he doesnt come off as being That Bad through the most of the movie. obviously hes not a good person; the fact that he works for merrick and that hes ex special forces alone is sus as fuck (like buddy, why arent you still in special forces?)

but in comparison to dr kozak (sadist) and merrick (also a sadist) keane doesnt seem that bad. he spends most of the movie standing around in douchebag suits and being intimidating. there are only like five scenes where we see him touch other people, ‘cause all he really does is order his goons around, and Usually when we Do see him touch people, he’s more or less Your Usual Brand of Asshole about it

long post under cut :/

like. 1.) grabbing joe after he headbutts merrick

2.) knocking out andy and booker with the sedative

3.) knocking out copley

4.) the joenicky fight scene

5.) the joe fight scene afterwards but that doesnt really count bc he never got a punch in (lol)

and in all of those, excluding the the joenicky fight scene (and the joe fight scene which i just said doesnt count) keane’s.... eh? hes not nice but he could be way meaner.

The Joe Grab: obviously not Good Boy behavior, obviously aggressive, but he doesnt hurt joe here. hes not even cutting off joe’s air, he’s just grabbing him.

i mean. in reaction to the headbutt, keane threatens joe without harming him, the goon behind joe pistol whips him, and merrick stabs him. of the three reactions we get, keane’s is the most mild. look, his finger isnt even on the trigger

andy & book; again not good boy behavior, but again he could have been way worse. when he sedates andy she struggles like fuck, and you can even see keane kind of stumble as he tries to hold her down. even so, he doesnt hit her to get her to stop, a thing his goons do fairly regularly to the others, and even when he grips her neck to hold her still, he’s holding her jaw more than her neck (look at his thumb). in the aftermath, she doesnt even have any marks. (this coming from the movie that gave merrick a red spot on his forehead for like a whole minute after joe headbutted him. lmao suck it merrick)

and when he goes for book, more of the same. he just kind of... holds him in place, despite his struggling. its professional . hes just a dude doing his job. Keane The Professional.

when he knocks out copley right after thats the only other time we see him personally harm someone, and even then that was with a specific order from merrick (you see him give keane A Look) and theres nothing sadistic there either. he hit copley, copley was out(TM), the end.

None Of This Gives Any Indication Of Keane Enjoying Causing Pain

AMND THEN: THE JOENICKY FIGHT

and Many People have discussed this fight so i wont go off too hard but. this fight. it lasts roughly thirty seconds. Thirty. and of those thirty seconds, keane spends about... eh, seventeen focused on nicky? (the kicking, the gun, etc) on joe? he spends about three. as in seconds. the other ten seconds is mostly keane getting beat on or standing ominously above the two of them.

and of the few analyses ive seen, people point out keane being homophobic as his motivation here (and he definitely is) but homophobia alone doesnt explain why keane WENT OFF on nicky specifically.

because like! the beginning of this fight! keane sends all of his goons after nile booker and andy! SIX men to fight THREE immortals, leaving KEANE ALONE to fight the other two! and then he walks into the room joe and nicky are in, sees them both lying there,

ADN HE PUTS AWAY HIS GUN

like! he already won the fight right then and there! nicky and joe were on the floor! a bullet to the head to both of them to keep them down and keane would have had them both, but no, keane puts his gun away, grabs his zipties,

AMDN then he goes straight for fucnening nicky

it would make Sense if hed gone for joe. he and joe have established beef. the headbutt. the speech in the van (which im sure keane heard at some point since those guards had bodycams and im sure keane wanted to know how he and nicky managed to kill his men and looked at the footage) --and theres the killing of the men itself, but both joe and nicky did that together. so.

either way, joe has been challenging the authority of keane and his men since he had the breath to do so. nicky’s barely glanced in keane’s direction (beyond the killing the men thing, which weve established both he and joe did)

other than that, worst thing nicky’s done to keane is nearly bump into him while he was busy making Disappointed Eye Contact with copley

but anyways: keane doesnt go for joe! he walks past joe’s body and goes for nicky, who’s just barely begun to move. it would also make sense, at this point, to put a bullet in nicky’s head here. like i said, keane’s already won. Keane The Professional wouldve already killed him.

instead, keane kicks nicky in the head, stands there and watches nicky get up, then kicks him a second time, and watches him again. he goes to do it a third time before nicky gets the drop on him.

at no point prior to this in the movie do we see keane behave like this. he doesnt cause pain for the sake of causing it. he doesnt hurt people pointlessly. here, he does. theres no reason to be kicking nicky like this. its not accomplishing anything, it’s not helping him capture them. hes just doing it ‘cause he wants to. (not to mention, each time you see him go to kick nicky, he goes to kick harder)

and actually, doing this is actively stupid! joe is waking up a foot away. there are three other immortals on the loose. merrick is unaccounted for. and keane is just wasting time. by dicking around rn, he’s actively shooting himself in the foot.

but anyways, nicky punches keane, keane kicks him off, and then joe’s awake, and This is the detail i just noticed a little earlier-- but when keane gets up here and joe grabs him: his head is turned towards nicky. his eyes are turned towards nicky. he’s moving towards nicky, not joe, who is the active threat in the moment

he doesnt even acknowledge joe until joe’s hand is physically on his head. joe had to physically Hold the dude back from going after nicky again

and then we see keane’s behavior change again when he sets his sights on joe. Keane The Professional is back again- two rapid-fire punches aimed at joe, no nonsense, no drawing it out, and then he goes for his gun

he doesnt draw it out. he doesnt sit and watch joe suffer. that gif is in real time, thats how fast keane took joe out. two punches, shoulder, neck, and then an immediate escalation to lethal force.

like the difference between: keane putting his gun away and then keeping it away for fifteenish seconds while focusing on nicky

vs

when focusing on joe, it takes him.. about two seconds & some change to pull the gun out again

keane wanted joe dead, but he wanted nicky to fucking suffer

and the you know, theres the obvious gun in mouth thing, which other people have talked about. the only thing i have to say about That is that its another fucking example of keane shooting himself in the foot. hes in a room filled with gas w/ no gas mask, and theres a very pissed off joe like two feet away from him recovering by the second. however, he doesnt do the Keane The Professional thing and put a bullet in nicky’s forehead-- he deliberately leans down, grabs nicky’s hair (and its not like he needed to, nicky sure as hell wasnt going anywhere anyway, unable to breathe and probably still sitting on a concussion after being kicked in the head) and jams the gun in nickys mouth. he’s wasting time doing that. it would have been faster and easier to just shoot nicky in the head. (like he probably was about to do to joe, considering how he doesnt step any closer to joe as he pulls out the gun)

and then he just??? bounces??

he is, again, in a position where he’d practically won. he had nicky dead. joe was on the ground. he could have gone for his mask, or shot joe and then fucked off to get a breath of Good Air. gun is still in his hand. he doesnt even try to take out joe, not even just shooting over his shoulder as he left. he doesnt give a shit about joe once nicky’s dead.

nicky was dead, so keane just left. and he double takes at the body as he goes??

like at first i thought he was confused nicky wasnt getting up, but he knows how the immortals work, he saw joe and nicky die on the body cams at the church. like sir why are fucking looking? fuck off?

but yeah theres just no explanation for this! nicky has done practically nothing to keane, but keane just zeroed tf in on nicky with no provocation! it couldnt have been just homophobia, if it were he would have targeted joe the same way he did nicky. he had to have some other motivation for acting completely differently @ nicky than he does to any other character in the film, and then just. going back to normal once nicky was dead. its weird. its creepy. and theres like 0 explanation. dont like it

[souryogurt64]

okay i know you're already overwhelmed with asks but today is my first day of senior year (yes i'm 18 and still in hs, i'm v old for my class lmao) and i have no actual friends to freak out to and ask for advice so i'm coming here for that lmao. HELP

TBH idk if im the best person to ask but i DID go to high school, senior year wasnt that different from the other years for me but here is my wisdom i guess if u can call it that, this is also generally budding coming of age advice

i didnt have a lot of friends in school and it honestly didnt matter that much because i had a lot of friends from other places and was busy talking to them . i spent lunch in the bathroom for 3 years bc i didnt have anyone to sit with and then figured out you could just hang out in the library and its much cleaner and less awkward

you should prob figure out next steps, if you arent ready you can always take a gap year and work but if you want to go to a four year college be aware that many academic scholarships are only available to incoming freshmen directly from high school. there are many options like trade school, going to community college, going to community college part-time while working, private 4 year college, public 4 year college, cosmetology school, etc. the best path for you depends a lot on your personal skills, desires, talents and financial situation but you should evaluate all options. its very complicated and varies from school to school so meet with a guidance counselor and your parents

who youre friends with in high school doesnt matter in the long term. theres sort of a myth that once you graduate you never see those people again, but if you go to college in your home state there will probably be lots of people you know at your college or at your city. however, its still a fresh start and theres way more people and everyone is too busy to care like they did in HS. also, if you move out of your home region you will prob never see those people again and you dont have to keep interacting with them.

i know it feels like a lot of pressure that youre deciding the rest of your life, and you are making decisions, but its more open than it feels like. you have the first few years of college to settle on a major, if you choose to go to college.

you should start thinking about where you see yourself in 5 or 10 years though. you dont have to decide for sure, but you should just think about it a little. do you want a family and a house, or do you want to live in a big city? what region? what sort of job do you see yourself working?

you might find it helpful to think about what you wanted to be as a kid and take classes you like. i eventually decided to major in english because i liked it best and was good at it, and i liked the comm classes i had to take for gen eds and was good at them and liked the department, so i added a comm major and its really expanded my career options too.

also once youre out of high school your life is really your own. i felt like my life was really structured and i couldnt go anywhere without permission so i didnt once i was out of the house.

in retrospect i behaved in ways that were really silly, like i was too anxious to leave my dorm room so i ate ramen for all of orientation and if i ran out of things that the school store didnt carry i would just suffer for days instead of walking or ubering or taking a bus to the store because i felt like i couldnt leave without permission. this was really silly

i also feel like a lot of being a kid is being told not to trust your feelings because youre stupid, and then as an adult you re-learn how. nothing is perfect and its normal to feel things like anxiety or nervousness about change, but if you feel GENUINELY BAD about a roommate situation or a job offer or study abroad, DO SOMETHING ELSE. even if other people are telling you its a good opportunity or itll be fun you know yourself best.

just follow your instincts and do what you like and explore what college has to offer you. i founded a music magazine at college because i didnt have any extracurriculars i was interested in and it gave me a lot of opportunities to meet band people, but i didnt realize that i could interview bands on-air as a college radio DJ until my senior year-- i wish i had realized that much earlier.

also your life is your own and you can do whatever you want. in high school/college i worked a horrible job for five years because my parents wanted me to, and i felt like i wasnt "allowed" to do anything without permission. in retrospect, i realize i should have just applied other places and then quit when i got a different gig and it wasnt a big deal, but i didnt really trust my instincts

in short just do whatever you want. obviously you have responsibilities and stuff and you do need to consider practical dimensions and be realistic, but just hang out with people you think are cool and eat where you want and follow the path that makes you happiest and you will probably be better off

[thechangeling]

The Box

Tiberius Blackthorn had gotten quite good at compartmentalizing. Pretending that things weren't happening, that they didn't effect him. Pretending that he didn't feel. It was almost like flicking a switch. If things got too painful or too real he just turned it off. Closed his eyes and told himself over and over.

This isn't real. This isn't really happening. This doesn't matter. I don't care.

She isn't really dead. I don't miss him. I don't love him. Over and over until the pain stopped. Ty could usually make it last for awhile. Until something brought up an unpleasant memory or feeling and then he had to start all over again.

Being around Kit again was certainly making this worse.

Kit, in true Herondale fashion was in deep trouble with multiple people. As it turned out, he was the first heir and now a bunch of people were trying to either kill or kidnap him. So now a bunch of shadowhunters and downworlders had banded together to help him defeat his enemies and keep him safe. Ty had made a huge fuss to Drusilla about being forced to help. But secretly they both knew that he would rather die then let anything happen to Kit.

So now Kit was here, back in the Los angeles institute and currently sitting at the breakfast table with that vampire friend of his and Dru. She seemed to be very adamantly telling a story and Kit was laughing hysterically. Ty felt his heart turning over in his chest at the sound. He had to fight the urge to smile.

It isn't real. I don't love him. This isn't real.

Having him this close was torture. Hearing him laugh, watching him train, watching him flirt, watching him try not to cry in front of the others. There were so many times that Ty wanted to just reach out and touch him. Run his fingers through Kit's hair, trace the curve of his cupid's bow, hold him in his arms. It was a burning, suffocating ache.

Ty leaned back against his perch up on the windowsill. He had asked Livvy to give him some space to be alone. He was doing a decent job of blending into the background with his black clothing and dark hair. Or maybe they were just ignoring him. Ty pushed away that thought.

Suddenly he felt the weight of someone hopping up beside him. They made no noise or attempts to get his attention. Ty could hear the faint sound of Under Pressure coming out of headphones.

Alyssa.

Alyssa Reyes was the werewolf from Maia's pack who had been assigned to essentially be the scholomance's liaison to the downworld and help educate future centurions about downworlder affairs. She hadn't exactly been happy about this situation and had been pretty hostile towards most of them for awhile. But she and Ty had bonded over both being autistic, and also being queer. He could honestly say that meeting Alyssa had changed his life.

He turned to face her. She was staring up at the sky, mouthing along to the words of the song. Her black wireless headphones were slud over her ears and her dark waves were tied up into a low bun. She was excitedly fiddling with the straps of her white crop top which contrasted nicely against her golden brown skin. He stared at her for awhile, just basking in her presence.

He was sad that she was going back to New York in a week. He was really going to miss her.

Eventually she turned her gaze on him, sliding her headphones down. "You have all the best hiding spots" she confessed with a smile. 'Also I figured it was time to come interrupt your lurking because it was just getting a little sad." Ty rolled his eyes at her.

"I wasn't lurking! I'm literally just sitting here!" He protested worrying instantly that they were speaking too loudly. But everyone else was deeply preoccupied with their conversations and also they were several feet away. He stole a quick glance at Kit again and practically felt Alyssa disapproval radiating off of her. Ty turned back to face her displeased expression.

When Ty had first met Alyssa she was scared and standoffish but had quickly warmed up to him. He often described her as having pure magic in her warm brown eyes, so much excitement and life practicing buzzing out of her. But now her eyes were cold and dark. She seemed angry.

"I have just about had enough of this Ty" she announced. It's clear to me how much you want him, how much you love him, so why don't you just go talk to him already?"

Ty sighed, avoiding her gaze. "I can't."

She flailed her hands haphazardly. "What do you mean you can't Ty? You can. You just won't! I'm so sick of this!" She shouted.

Ty spared a panicked glance back at the kitchen table, but they hadn't looked their way. Still Ty hopped down from the ledge.

"Here, follow me" he said to Alyssa, pulling her off the ledge. She didn't protest. She allowed him to lead her out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"Look" he began, "I don't want to talk to Kit alright? I'm still mad at him. I'm not just going to let that go." He explained. Alyssa just stared back at him.

There was a long drawn out pause where neither of them spoke. Ty wasn't that concerned. Long drawn out pauses were kind of their thing.

"Ok" she said slowly. "I need to tell you something that you might not be ready to hear. In fact it's probably going to make you really angry. But I need you to listen."

Ty had no idea what to say to that. But Aylssa kept on talking.

"Ty you need to get over yourself" she stated simply.

Ty bristled instantly. Rage flooded through his entire being. Who the fuck did she think she was? And to hear this from Alyssa of all people. Didnt she understand why he was so hurt? Why he was so angry?

Alyssa kept going before he could yell at her, stepping towards him slightly. "Listen to me Tiberius Blackthorn. I understand your pain, better than anyone else most likely. I understand your anger. I feel it to. I feel it everyday. The way the world treats us it's like little jagged cuts everyday, slowly whittling us down into nothing." Her voice broke. Her eyes were brimmed with tears.

"But I need you to ask yourself something" she continued shakely. "I need you to ask yourself, did Kit Herondale really do this? All of this? Is all of this really his fault? Something that we talk about a lot in therapy is putting the blame where it belongs. Recognize what was caused by which person and how much fault really lies with the person you're mad at. I know you don't want to forgive him because you're hurting and your also so fucking stubborn love" she laughed despite the fact that her eyes were filled with tears.

"You refuse to move. And I know why you do that because you think if you move, you will be admitting defeat. Admitting weakness. But you aren't Ty. You are saving yourself" She reached for him but shot backwards, shaking his head. He couldn't believe her. Maybe somewhere deep down he knew that she was probably right but he didn't care. He didnt care about what he knew anymore. All he could think about was the pain he felt.

"Please" she whispered "It isn't healthy to hold a grudge for this long. It isn't good for you. It isn't good for your soul." Alyssa wiped her eyes and stood up straighter, hardening her voice. "I know you're fed up with everything, and the same things keep happening over and over again. But here's the thing. Kit isn't responsible for what Paige did to you or what your father did, or your uncle or anyone else." Ty instantly began to shake at the mention of Paige Ashdown. He could feel all if those instances coming back to him. All of those kid memories he had tried to repress.

Whenever Ty had something horrible and traumatic happen to him. Everytime someone laughed in his face, everytime someone whispered behind his back or called him a slur. Every time someone made him doubt if he was really loved. Every autistic hate crime, every murder, every debate over the concept of his soul and whether it really existed. Livvy's death. Everything that happened that day on the beach. What Kit had said to him. Kit leaving him. He took all of it, all the bad memories, all of the pain and heartbreak. He took it and shoved it into some deep place inside of him. He usually envisioned a box of some sort. He shoved it all inside of that box, shut the lid and buried it.

This isn't real. This didn't happen. This isn't happening.

Ty's entire body was vibrating now. Alyssa put her hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me. Kit Herondale is not your enemy. He isn't trying to drown you or ship you off to an institution or shove you into ABA. And I know what you're thinking, that's a pretty fucking low bar and I know!" She exclaimed. "I know! But we have to start somewhere Ty. We have to start somewhere or else we will never get anywhere. That kid is so fucking in love with you and yes he does not deserve a gold medal for doing so, but he is fighting like hell to win you back."

That much was true. Kit had been trying to talk to him all week, but Ty kept brushing him off. It wasn't enough, he always told himself. It wasnt enough. He wasnt actually sure if Kit really loved him. He just refused to believe it.

Ty shook his head at Alyssa, his fingers fluttering at his sides. He began to hit his hands against his thighs to ease some of the tention he was feeling. Alyssa squeezed his arm, taking a deep breath.

"I know you are sick and tired of explaining the same things over and over and answering stupid questions and always having to make adjustments and put in the effort when everyone else doesn't try. I am too! Believe me! But I think at a certain point you need to ask yourself if you can forgive him for not knowing?" She asked. "Can you forgive him for being ignorant and making a mistake and breaking your heart because you've hurt him too? Can you accept that he is not perfect?" She dropped her arm down and stared him directly in his eyes. "Because neither are you. Ty I know you dont wanna hear this, but you live in a very privileged bubble where most people let you get away with murder because you're a man and you're white, while those same people condemn me for being rude and intolerable." She said pointedly.

Ty bit his lip. He felt like he should argue with her but he knew she had a point. "You're a shadowhunter!" She glared at him. "You're a shadowhunter and your people have committed so many atrocities against mine. You and your family spent most of your time ignoring all of this and only focusing on helping your brother and sister. You joined an organization that has a history of doing terrible things to downworlders!" She shouted.

"Well so did you!" He shot back even though he knew it wasnt really the same thing. "And by the angel Ali if you really hate me that much then why are you even here?" Alyssa just shook her head at him and rolled her eyes. "Because I don't hate you genius. I could hold these things against you, but I don't. I forgave you for not knowing. As long as you acknowledge it and try to work on making things better, which you are, then I can let it go. Because like I said Ty, we have to start somewhere" she pleaded. "

"You have to be brave and let it go."

Instantly Ty sucked in a breath. He recognized the words she had used perfectly. They were from a song.

Their song.

Tears instantly gathered in his eyes. He let out a shakey exhale and she smiled sadly at him.

"Because right now all you're doing is hurting is yourself." Alyssa said with a shrug.

Ty squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I know" he whispered. He opened his eyes again, she was staring at him sympathetically with those warm eyes. "I just dont know how to do this" he admitted. "I don't know how to deal with all if it. I don't think I can."

Alyssa looked confused "Deal with what exactly?"

Ty took a deep breath. "The box" he exhaled. Alyssa looked even more confused. It was a little funny.

So he decided to tell her. He told her about the coping mechanisms he had been using since he was a child. He told her about the box and how many things he had buried in it, and what they were. She cried and held him tightly to her chest. He let himself cry along with her.

He cried for that kid who had the door slammed in his face, that kid who had his interests mocked and spat on. That kid who had his heart broken over and over again long before Kit Herondale. That kid who never felt accepted or like he belonged, not even with his own twin. He cried for Livvy. He cried for that kid on the beach who lost everything. Who wanted to apologize to Kit and make everything right because he was so fucking naive and stupid, and Magnus Bane told him to go away.

So he did. But it hadn't solved anything.

He also cried for Kit. His Kit.

Ty pulled away from Alyssa, wiping at his eyes. "The worst part is it's not just my pain that's in there. I put all of the stuff with Kit in the box too" he confessed. "Like I mean the stuff that's happening right now. He's in a world of danger and I can't feel that because if I feel it then I'm afraid it'll break me."

Alyssa contemplated this for a while. "I know Ty, but you have to face it. All of it. You have to open the box or else you'll never get through it." She said sternly.

Ty leaned up against the wall if the institute. When he spoke, it sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away. "Every bad thing that happens to him feels like it's happening to me. Everything from when he was younger. When he was alone." Ty was making an effort not to cry again.

"I want him to know that he'll never be alone again. Not as long as I'm alive."

Alyssa looked at him incredulously. "Well then don't you think you should tell him that?"

Ty didn't answer her, just stared ahead. He still needed to think. Alyssa seemed to understand that because she spared him one final glance and then walked towards the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go eat" she announced. "Come join us when you're ready."

And then she left Ty alone in the hallway with his thoughts.

You have to open the box.

This is real. All of this is real.

You have to open the box.

@older-brother-kit @zafirafoxx @idontgetit-whydoihavetosaymyname @ti-bae-rius @anxiousbookenthusiast @emiikas @eutony-in-whisper