#because if you dont he /will/ fling himself in the wrong direction

[foxstens]

replaying parts of brotherhood trying to get 75% sync and its kinda fun

[renzieluvsvt]

fall in you

pairing: bsf!joshua x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 1K

summary: you have been falling for your childhood best friend!joshua. you are sure that your feelings wont be reciprocated so what turns will it take when you decide to completely avoid and forget him?

warnings: reader losing pet dog, kissing (is that even a warning? lol)

a/n: tysm anon for this request!! i enjoyed coming up with the plot for this;)) but so sorry as it took me so much time to post it.

anw, hope yall enjoy this one too!! will keep on posting as much as i can :))

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"will you still not talk to me?", joshua asked you aka his best friend with whom he hadn't spoken to for several months because of some reason he wasn't aware of. the two of you had been friends since childhood, grew up knowing each other's secrets, grew up together even during the lowest points of lives but as of now, the both of you were standing in the living room of your dorm. you hadn't spoken to him for six months already. during the first month, he excused you by thinking that you were probably tired with the classes. during the second month, he was hurt that you didn't agree to meet him anywhere else whenever he tried to clear things out. it was the third month where you finally refused to even look at him in the uni. it hurt him to see you avoiding him.

whenever he tried approaching you, you always changed your path. it suprised him how his "best friend" started leaving him on delivered or sometimes on seen in the fourth month. his phone calls were totally ignored by you in the fifth month. and finally, in the sixth month you started treating him as a pure stranger.

he couldn't take this shit anymore. even if he spent hours in a day to reflect and look for some reasons that could have possibly got you upset— he still couldnt find one. that was when he eventually decided to go to your dorm and confront you. he had been refraining himself from visiting your dorm so that he wouldn't get in trouble for getting into a girl's dormitory but he was left with no choice afterall.

"can you fucking look at me atleast?", he said in anger as you tested his patience. you still continued folding your dried laundry. your actions hurt him. alot. being avoided by his bestfriend was already hurting him but the reason that hurt him the most was he couldn't have any sort of explanation about it.

"joshua, im asking you for the last time, can you please leave right now?", you spatted out with not much any emotions but one could surely hear the crack in your voice. you wanted to sink ten feet under the ground as you realised how your voice cracked. you wished that he didn't figure that out but you were wrong. he heard you and knew you were on the verge of breaking down. "please tell me y/n and i'll work on myself to not disappoint you anymore", he pulled you by your arms so that you could turn to his direction but you swatted away your arm from his grip. with anger.

as you finally faced him, he looked deeply into your eyes as if to find the answers you were hiding but all he could see was your tears welling up your eyes. he stared at you worriedly as a tear rolled down your face.

"why do you want me back in your life? just so you can hurt me again by telling me about your new flings?", you spoke out finally. yes, he heard that right. yes, he was understanding it right too. you saw him more than a friend. you wanted your relationship with him to be more than best friends. "yes! i go crazy everytime i hear you blabber about your crushes and dates", you said with tears in your eyes. you simply couldn't bottle it up today. "joshua, i fell for you even before i could know", you continued. "i dont know when it j-just happened. was it when you caressed my hair while appreciating me when i felt insecure about myself after i was cheated on by my boyfriend or was it when you didn't leave me alone when i was left heartbroken after i lost my dog? or was it when you spoke words you probably never meant with the eyes that seemed to be in love with me?", you managed to pour out your feelings in words finally.

"l-listen to m-me y/n....", joshua stuttered. he was speechless. not because of your sudden confession but because he finally knew that his feelings were reciprocated! "josh, im sorry but i cant stay friends with you. it hur-", before you could even complete your sentence he pulled you in for a kiss.

he cupped your cheeks and deepened the kiss with his eyes shut. you couldn't process what had just happened but when he bit your lower lip for a response, you gave in. it felt like heaven to kiss your best friend crush. he parted away from the kiss just to have you chase his lips. he chuckled. but soon he took a look at you as his big hands still kept your cheeks cupped.

"you have no idea how much i've loved you", you stare at him in disbelief. "y/n, i had already fallen for you since our middle school but never had the courage. i always ended up worrying about losing you if i ever got you as my lover. i was worried about not having you in my life if anything would go wrong", he continued. "you dont know how crazy you got me for yourself which had me to date a few times just to move on from you. but here you were, getting jealous of them", he said. "i wasn't jealous",you said as you hit him on his shoulders lightly in protest. the both of you laughed.

"y/n?", he called your name out with his sweet voice. "hmm", you responded while meeting his eyes. "will you be my girlfriend?", he asked you with your cheeks still cupped in his hands. as you heard those words, another tear rolled down your face but this time you had a smile on your face. "sure josh", you said with a smile and another tear rolling down your face in the same time. you were overjoyed.

he kissed you deeply to express the love that he had been hiding from you which had caused you so much pain. "i love you josh", you managed to say in between the kiss. "i love you more", he said while he pulled you closer to him by waist without breaking the kiss. the past six months were hard on you but all you could say was that it led to the best thing that could ever happen to you.

you felt lucky and so did joshua to have realise that you would always be by his side. forever. he promised to never let you go.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

[witch-hazels-musings]

because I need that good loving can I request Diluc and Zhongli reaction to seeing there SO dressed up for a formal event even though its not something they really like doing but because they dont want to make Diluc/Zhongli look bad in front of all these other people they put all their effort into looking like the human embodiment of attractiveness.

the way you look tonight 

(okay so truth time - I thought about you the whole time I was writing this and forgot you requested it -- I hope the love of these boys reminds you that you are lovely <3!) 

Warning -> SFW, fluff / comfort (cussing(1))(self-conscience reader)

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Zhongli ⚘, Diluc

Zhongli

He finds your normal style of dress unique and interesting, it’s unlike most of the people who make up Liyue’s landscape and it’s independently you

When someone lives their life in the way they want to, that's what Zhongli admires the most about people, about humans 

He doesn’t mind what you wear, he would want anyone to meet you, to see you regardless because through his eyes he sees your attractiveness - it’s in the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you react when something makes you excited or when he gives you a gift you don’t expect - how could he hide you away and not let others see the way you glow? 

You look at yourself for the tenth time in the large circular mirror. An hour had gone by and you still felt unusual, out of place, like a fraud in this attire. For the, you’ve lost count, time you fuss with the fabric that sits against your stomach, tugging on it, wondering if you should leave it open or closed. The most frustrating thing about this is that you had no idea how to wear this damn thing. 

Your head falls onto the vanity and you do your best to hold it all in. With a deep breath, you go back to messing with your hair and face. The ticking clock behind you reminds you that time is not your friend no matter how much you want it to stop. 

This is so hard for you, of course, you want to be there for Zhongli - he was there for everything you ever did, it was beyond time to repay him - but you just couldn’t find the confidence to be proud of what you’d done. So, shaping the image in your brain into a distorted representation of what you wished you looked like, you stood from your small chair and walked toward the door of the bedroom. 

Your shoes click on the hardwood floor which is something you hate, the thought of people hearing you coming only to see what appears from the source of the sound makes your skin crawl. Still, you pressed on, and that’s when your eyes fell onto the immaculate figure that stands near the entrance. His tall, elegant frame is so intense it knocks the wind from your lungs as if someone just punched you in the stomach. How can I stand next to that … you panic and turn to retreat back into the safety of the bedroom when your arms collide with a small table in the hallway.

Objects fall to the ground and, in a ridiculous display of your clumsy nature, you juggle one of the more breakable objects before catching it moments from shattering on the floor below. 

“Whew …” You exclaim, bringing it close to your body. “Sorry, little guy didn’t mean to do that.” You wince, patting its side before place it back onto its home and picking up the other objects from the ground. 

Long fingers enter your field of vision, startled you stand only to see Zhongli reaching down to assist you. 

“Ah, sorry.” You express, crossing your arms after putting the items in your hands half-hazard onto the surface. 

“No need to apologize, are you injured?” He asks, standing himself and reminding you how tall he is. 

“My pride, maybe.” You share, laughing through your embarrassment. 

“Too much of that and we might find ourselves in trouble anyway.” He looks down at you, his eyes scanning, interested and making you shift under their gaze. “You …” 

“I know... I look so strange, and,” you begin, fussing with the top again, “I can’t seem to get this right.” Turning around you show him what you were talking about and how it seems far too loose. 

He laughs softly and you feel his hands run underneath the edge of the fabric and coming to rest at the wrap at your waist. “Let me assist you.” 

“Thank you …” He’s so close to you, his hands move expertly as they work to correct your inadequacies, eyes compassionate, patient as they always are. 

“This outfit suits you.”

“Does it really? I look so … I mean this isn’t something I would normally wear. In fact,”  You think for a minute before continuing, “I can’t remember the last time I dressed up for something other than adventuring. It’s not practical to go running through ruins in this type of getup.” You explain, lifting your arms and watching how the fabric slips down to your elbows before sliding back to your wrists as they collide with your legs. 

“That could turn things into quite the challenge I’d imagine.” 

“Exactly.” 

“Nevertheless, you will turn quite a many heads upon our arrival.” 

“That’s what I'm afraid of …” You mumble, forgetting that he is close enough to hear you. 

“Y/N, need I remind you how spectacular you look.” 

You bite your lip but your insecurities make you speak anyway, “I just don’t see how I have the right to stand next to you, I don’t want you to be … ashamed of me.” The end of your sentence trails off as you look to the ground. Zhongli doesn’t respond until his hands stop fixing your gown. With comforting fingers he presses against the soft underbelly of your chin, lifting your head at the angle it should be. 

“While I am beyond sure you can hear me, I hope that you can trust me as well when I tell you that every day I am honored to stand at your side. There is nothing in this world which compares to your beauty, in fact, you are more radiant than the moon itself.” He leans in to place a kiss against your forehead. 

“You don’t wish I was … more attractive?” 

“I cannot wish for a thing that holds no bearing on reality.” 

“Mmm.” 

“If my words have not reached you, perhaps I can better express my truth through actions …” He pulled you flush against him, his hands now wrapped around your hips and eyes focused on your lips. 

“Aa! Wait … no, I believe you.” Embarrassed, you push away from him and make your way toward the door. “Let’s just go because if I get out of this thing I won’t be putting it back on.” You huff, smoothing out the wrinkles. 

“Shall we?” He reaches for your hand and easily you take it. 

“Let’s do this.” With a lighthearted Zhongli, you exit your home and head toward the lively sounds drifting over the water. 

Diluc

He already thinks you are so incredibly attractive no matter what you wear - he knows you’re one for practicality, from your actions to your clothes, you are ready to go and prepared for whatever will come your way - a trait he admires

There is something adorable about the way you fall out of bed in the morning and, in some cases, take less time than he does to get ready - it can come in handy where there much work to be done 

He never asks for you to be more than what you are - he honestly wouldn’t care what other people thought about you, all that matters is you believe him when he tells you how good you look or how you make his heart clench 

So when he sees you descend the stairs in an outfit, a formal, totally out-of-the-absolute-norm outfit, he’s stunned 

“Crap.” You say, flinging the jewelry you couldn’t decide on anyway back toward the dresser. You’d taken far too long to get ready, even though you started hours ago, it still wasn’t enough to make you feel confident and finished. Glancing at your reflection one last time, you gave up with a heavy sigh and made your way down the hallway. 

You could already see everyone else in their formal attire ready to go, even the attendants looked better than you did. When you caught sight of Diluc your steps slowed and for a solid minute to you debated about turning around and hiding under the comfortable covers of the bed you loathed getting out of this morning. 

“Ah, there you are! Are you ready?” Adaline shouted from below you and like a scene from a nightmare everyone turned to look up at you. You stumbled backward and felt your chest tighten, eyes scanning each face as you debated on your next action. When they fell onto Diluc’s stoic eyes, you felt a little bit of relief and knew all you had to do was make it down to him. 

Slowly, you started again and, with a deathlike grip on the railing, you made your way down the stairs. Diluc met you at the bottom, his hand extended to take yours. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t figure out what would pair well with … this thing.” You gestured at your outfit and looked behind him, thankful that people had already started to leave through the front door. “Do I … look okay?” 

With an awkward smile, you waited for his answer, hopeful that he wouldn’t have to struggle so hard to lie to you. I mean, when you were able to see him in his suit, the way it perfectly fits around his toned body, the fabric tucked in all the right places, the sleeves just long enough to give one a peek of skin underneath - there was no way you compared to him. 

He looked at you for so long your heart started to feel like a thousand knives were stabbing you in all directions. He hates this … he can’t believe that I’m such a disaster. The thoughts circulate in your brain and just as your about to rush back up the stairs and hide he lifts your fingers to his lips and kisses them with so much love. 

“I apologize … I’m just a bit startled is all.” Your stomach drops to your feet at his words. 

“Archons, is it that bad? Did I put something on wrong … or?” 

“Nothing like that,” He kisses your palm and the action makes your spine turn hot, “You look unbelievable, is what I wanted to say.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes.” He looks at you but you shy away from his eyes. “Y/N, do you trust me?” 

“What … of course I trust you.” You reply, flabbergasted. 

“Then trust me now.” He pulls you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your neck, his hand resting at the back of your head. “I’ve never seen someone as brilliant as you.” 

Fueled by your emotions, you return his hug, squeezing your arms around his waist and doing your best not to let your face be ruined by the tears that want to fall from stinging eyes. “Thank you, I’ll trust you on this … today.” 

“I don’t have any issues reminding you again and again.” Shouting outside tells you that it’s now or never and, as much as you don’t want to, your arms release each other. “Are you ready?” He asks, offering you his arm, and with a deep inhale and sharp nod, you take it and walk through the doors. 

----

taglist: @star-gods @mercurysmaiden @dourpeep @clemmywrites @pepperoncinipizza @handswritteeen @the-mermaid-of-mondstadt @lucifucker @beelsdessert @coolcats09 @ninqat @musekala @sufzku @mooshymello @heavenlyang @plenilunegazes @odafashioned @glazelilyy

[wayward-nephilim]

Before it all started // Rafe Cameron

Prompt: You finally break up with Rafe after you catch him doing coke again and you can’t stop thinking about how you guys were before.

Warnings: Drug abuse, angst

A/N: I hate Rafe and he’s kind of awful, but you also can’t deny that he’s just a boy with daddy issues and I believe that he would have been a halfway decent person if he didn’t have a shitty father and drug addiction. This is my take on what I believe he was like “before” (Ps re-reading and editing this i realized i made him like not a villain at all. Maybe i’m confusing Drew with Rafe)

“DONT YOU DARE LEAVE!!” He yelled at you, getting up from his spot on the couch. The lines of coke spread out on his table. Reflecting perfectly on the mirrored tray he had. You felt sick to your stomach and it felt like everything keeping you alive had been ripped out of you. This wasn’t the first time you caught him snorting, the first time was the worst and you voweled to help him but you had failed.

You fought back the tears in your eyes. “Rafe. I can’t do this, I can’t watch you fall down the same hole my mom did.” You loved your mom, and you loved Rafe almost as much. But you sat back and watched your mom kill herself and were watching the love of your life do that same thing.

The blue in his eyes were hardly able to be seen, his pupils so dilated from the coke. You knew how he got, you watched him start it. And at first he actually had you convinced he had it under control, he could do a line and that would hold him off for a couple days, it was a social thing. And then slowly you saw him doing more and more. You saw him stumble down into a dark and twisty hole as he battled with his mind.

“Baby, please. I can get it under control. I can fix this, I can fix us.” He sniffled, eyes glossy.

Your lip quivered as you watched the boy in front of you plead. “Rafe.” Your voice broke, “I love you, but I can’t do this. You promised me you would get a hold on it and then you didn’t. I offered you my support and I broke my back to get you help. I did everything I could to help you and I’m tired.” You sighed, disappointed in him and yourself.

“Listen, Y/N. Give me a couple of months.” He said, now crying, “I promise I can get better.” He seemed so small, gabbing the edge of his shirt and pulling it down as a nervous tick.

Your heart broke as you watched the boy you were in love with completely crumble. You wanted to believe him, you supported him and loved him when everyone else was against him and the both of you knew that you held him down and kept him grounded. “Rafe.” You sighed, disappointedly. “I can’t keep doing this with you. Why didn’t you take my help when I offered it?” You pinned the blame on yourself, thinking you could have pushed him harder.

“Look- It’s not that simple.” He looked down, refusing to make eye contact with you. “I have it under control.”

You groaned and threw your head back, “NO, YOU DON’T.” You yelled at him flinging your arms in your direction. “You don’t, Rafe. And you know it. I can’t help you this time.” This situation felt too familiar, and you needed to get out of there. Your chest rising and falling even harder and tear spilling from your eyes.

“Please.” He pleaded, noticing your change in demeanor. He straightened up and walked over to you. Trying to comfort you. “Y/N. Baby, it’s okay.” He hugged you. “I promise.”

You pulled your body away from his and looked him in the eyes. “It’s not, Rafe.” You sniffled, “You know it’s not. And I can’t ask you to get sober for me. Clearly it doesn’t work. I need you to get sober for yourself.” You sobbed, “I need you to want to be okay for you, I want to be able to live a long life with you and have kids and get married. But I’m not going to sit here and watch you refuse my help.”

“I will. I promise Baby.” He tried reaching for you and you pulled your body away because you knew that if you hugged him back you’d fall back into him. “I can get sober. I’ll do it.” You wished with everything in you that he would.

“I need to go, Rafe.” You said, turing around and letting your tears stream from your eyes. He wasn’t a bad man, he wasn’t mean to you and he hardly ever got a temper and not once in the year you guys have been dating has he ever put a hand on you. He just needed intervention and therapy, a lot of it.

Every step away from him felt like another string of your heart was being pulled. You ignored his begging and continued to walk, breaking down every step of the way. Your body was sweaty and you were hyperventilating. Rafe was always the one to calm your panic attacks and now he wasn’t hear and this one had to be fought on its own. You texted Sarah,

‘please keep an eye on your brother for me. we broke up and i need to know he doesn’t do anything irrational.’ You would always care for Rafe, nothing could change that.

You turned your phone off and walked towards your home that was only a couple doors down from the Cameron’s. You glanced up at the sky, clouds rolling in. Storm season was bad this year. Rain drops started falling slowly and you were kind of grateful, hoping they would wash out your tears so your father didn’t ask questions on your way in.

You sloshed around the foyer of your house and hang your soaking jacket on the coat rack, slipped your shoes off and walked up to your room. Not bothering you turn your light on, you stripped out of all of your clothes you flopped into bed. You lay staring at your ceiling. The ache in your heart over powering everything.

“Rafe, put me down.” You giggled, he had grabbed you by one arm and a thigh and was swinging you off of the boat. You squirmed in his hands until he placed you down on the deck of your tiny sail boat.

“What’s wrong, baby?.” He smiled at you, his blue eyes filled with life and his blonde hair wasn’t slicked back as you would normally see it. It was messy and all over the place. You loved seeing him like this, he was himself and he was happy and it was just the two of you.

“You know I’m ticklish.” You pouted your lip out, looking up to him.

“Oh, that’s just an excuse.” He said, running towards you and playfully tackling you down to tickle your side.

You kicked and laughed until your belly hurt. “Rafe-“ You laughed, “Stop it.” You managed to get out from his hold and run away laughing. He caught up with you and picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he placed a kiss on your lips. You moaned as he laid you down and deepened the kiss. You pulled your head away and put your forehead onto his, staring into his bright blue eyes. And felt completely lost in them.

“Rafe.” You spoke softly, putting your hand on his face, “I love you.” It was the first time you said it, but you knew in that moment how you felt about him.

His mouth fell open in shock before he closed it and smiled, “I love you too.” He said against your lips and you opened yourself up to him.

Your tears fell even harder. The beginning of your relationship with Rafe was perfect, he was every thing you could have dreamed of and treated you good. He never pushed you to do anything you weren’t comfortable and was patient. It made you miss him even more.

“Y/N.” Rafe tried to offer you a smile, but you saw through it. His shirt was unbuttoned and both his face and ribs had bruises on them.

“Rafe. What happened?” You spoke, dropping your bag and keys and rushed over to him. You fell down to where he was in the ground and cupped his face in your hands. “Baby, what happened?” You cooed, glancing around the room, you saw a shiny tray on on it was little white lines and a rolled of $50 bill. You held him close to your body.

He cried into your shoulder and held you right. “I fucked up.” He sobbed,

“Rafe. What happened to you?” You voice cracked,

“He hit me.” He didn’t need to tell me who, I knew. It was his father. Ward had a tempor, everyone knew that. Especially you.

“I won’t let him do anything else to you. I’ll protect you.”

You lay stuff on your bed, digging your palms into your eyes to stop the flashbacks of you two together. You didn’t want to see all of the intimant moments. There were too many good ones. Rafe was good to you. He cared about you and pushed you in a positive way to do better than him. You knew he loved you and he knew you loved him.

Turning over, you put your head into your pillow and screamed until your lungs couldn’t take it anymore. Sobbing, wanting to be held by someone.

One hand was on your waist, the other clasped around your hand. He spun you so your back was against his. “I love it when you dress up.” He whispered in your ear.

It was Mid-Summer and you couldn’t deny that you hated it but also couldn’t deny that you enjoyed dressing up in a beautiful light dress and wearing a flower crown. You smiled up to him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“Let’s go somewhere more private.” He spoke in your ears. You didn’t take much time unwinding yourself from him and pulling him into an empty locker room. Locking the door behind you.

You eagerly kissed him and pressed him against the lockers. He moaned and put his hands in your hips, pulling you into him. You smiled and pulled away, “I love you.” You kissed him, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” You said kissing him between each statement. And you did, you loved the Cameron boy with every fiber of your being.

“I love you more.” He laughed, pulling your dress up and then lifted you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist.

“Not possible.” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck as he undid the belt and button on his dress pants.

“It totally is.” He kissed you.

By now you were convinced that you would never find another love like his. He was a sour puss to most people, but he was real and true and wasn’t afraid to be himself around you, even if you were out in public. He wasn’t afraid to show his affection despite his reputation.

You wanted to call him and tell him you love him. But the rational part of you told you to not do it. You know it’s not your job to keep him clean, but you wanted to protect him from everything. You knew him better than anyone in his life. You know what he’s thinking right now and it’s not too different from your own thoughts.

This time, it was you two laid out on the deck of your boat. Staring up at the stars. Rafe was clueless when it came to the sky. The only thing he knew was where to find the big dipper. “That one right there, that’s Orien. He’s my favorite.” You smiled over to him, pointing above you. “Mainly because he’s the easiest one to find.”

“How exactly do you know so much?” He questioned you, looking over to you.

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just into stars and stuff. It’s crazy what’s out there. Ya know?” You shrugged, feeling slightly insecure for geeking out. “I find it interesting.”

Rafe noticed your change in demeanor. “I don’t think you’re weird for it.” He said, “I dig it.”

The both of you stared so intensely at each other. Comfortable with where you were in life. You turned to face him and placed your arm around his torso, snuggling into him. Being alone and comfortable in his presence was the one thing that always made you feel better. He made you better.

Right now, you wanted nothing more but for things to go back to the way they were before it all started.

[dirt-cup-draco]

Sirius x Reader - More To You (2/2)

tag list: @spacegirlhere @treestarrrrrrrr @slytherpuffgal @scaredofvscogirls @jenniseiblack

Previously:

It wasn’t often he felt guilt for what he did but right now he couldn’t have felt worse. He really didn’t know you. He hadn’t even tried. Because he was angry at his family and the world he had taken it out on you without a second thought. “I’m sorry,” He said lamely as you headed off to the library. He was positive you heard him but you just sighed and shook your head. He knew that wouldn’t be enough.

Sirius realized he should stop burning bridges before he had the chance to cross them. There was much more to you than he realized and now he was sure you would never forgive him.

If someone had told Sirius Black even five years ago that he would be stood before Barty Crouch Senior and convicted of thirteen counts of murder as well as giving away the hidden location of his best friend, his brother, he would have laughed in your face. Now, he was just numbly staring around as he let the members of the Wizengamot talk over him. 

He wasn’t present, not really. He still couldn’t believe James and Lily were gone. And Harry, oh poor Harry. Sirius should be with his godson right now. He should be raising and loving that boy like James would have wanted. A tear escaped out of his dull eyes as the men and women clamored over evidence and motive and all this terribly bullshit that made no sense. James was his family, Lily was the light of the world that was better with her and James in it. 

Now his family was torn apart. He hadn’t heard from Peter in ages and Remus didn’t believe his innocence. It hurt, the people he had grown up loving the most, and still loving unconditionally, couldn’t see he would never hurt them. It was the grief, he hoped. Maybe before Sirius rotted in Azkaban Remus could forgive him for not doing a better job to protect them. 

He was snapped out of his nightmarish reverie by a voice floating above the rest. “I don’t think we are considering all the possibilities here! It doesn’t make sense as to what Sirius Black would gain from giving up the Potters,” 

Eyes traveled to you and you took a steady breath as he stared at you with wide eyes. He hadn’t even realized you were part of the Wizengamot. He hadn’t seen you since school when you had declared that you wouldnt, couldnt, forgive him for his cruel behaviors against you. Why were you defending him?

“It figures that the Slytherin sticks her neck out for this monster,” Muttered a council member. You looked at them with a cool fury in your eyes what was drawing Sirius in like a moth to a flame. 

“My house is not relevant in this court room. It is a foolish way to judge students without knowing all of their circumstances and beliefs. Please do not presume to know me because of my house,” You were boiling beneath the surface but still had a dangerous calm about you. “And I think we are also presuming too many things about Black. We hear his family name and think he must have done it, we don’t know that for certain,” You argued. 

Barty Crouch Senior’s cheeks turned red in fury as he gaped at you. “You are new but that does not excuse your complete dismissal of the signs that point straight to this man being the culprit! I ask for silence from you,” 

“But it’s too perfect! Every single sign points to him and that is the problem!” You tried, knowing your time was coming to an end. 

“I will not hear another word from you!” You were silenced. 

You stewed angrily in your seat but relented. You couldn’t forfeit your entire career on Sirius Black but you wished that you could convince the rest to see that they could possibly be convicting an innocent man. They weren’t even giving him a real trial!

“We declare Sirius Orion Black guilty of all charges and hereby sentenced to life in Azkaban,”

Every prisoner in Azkaban was there for life. It was just a matter of how long they held on. 

You looked at Sirius as he accepted his fate. The fire was gone and he took punishment for the death of his friends and several others. Guilt swam in his eyes, drowning him. You recognized the look in him. It was close to the guilt he had shown when he had apologized to you years ago. You let your eyes linger on him. 

You had to remember this man before Azkaban hollowed him out and ultimately killed him. “I’m sorry,” You mouthed to him as he returned your gaze, possibly wanting to see a friendly face for the last time in his soon to be miserable existence. 

All he could manage was a tired smile. He was disconnected from reality but you understood. It was better to let life happen around you than face the hell you were in. 

--

Sirius stood outside your door. The moon was high in the sky and every noise had him looking around nervously. He barked, pawing at the door. He knew it was a long shot but he was praying you would open up. They would be looking for him and he was safe in his animagus form but he couldn’t sleep another night on the cold ground. He had to get to someone who would believe he wasn’t a danger. 

“Merlin’s beard,” He heard you mutter as you stomped down the stairs, flinging the door open. “Come on then,” You opened the door wider as you stared blearily at him. It seemed in your tired state that it took you an extra few seconds to realize who you were opening the door to. It was no secret to you that Sirius and his pals were unregistered animagi. A black dog could only chase you around the grounds so many times before you got suspicious. 

You looked closer, fumbling for the glasses you had hung on the collar of your shirt. “Oh gods,” You paled.Sirius wagged his tail and trotted in. You closed and locked the door, drawing the blinds closed and falling heavy into the nearest seat. “How?” You croaked. 

In but a blink of an eye Sirius was standing in front of you, hair tangled and matted. An unseemly scruff had found it’s way on to his face as he grinned a sinister grin. He was so far from the handsome boy he’d been in school. How long had it been? Twelve years. You realized, stomach churning. You had stopped trying  a handful of years ago and it had always been your biggest regret and source of guilt.

“Slipped through the bars when those ghoulish bastards brought me that shit they call food,” He snarled. His prison uniform hung off his skeletal frame.  You hardly knew what to do but realized Sirius was in need of well, everything. Food water, clothes. He was a miserable sight. 

You sprang up, dashing into the kitchen. “How do you take your tea?” You asked and Sirius let himself smile even if it was tight. They had taken so much from him over the past twelve years he didn’t know how to function so soon after.

“I’ll take anything,” He said honestly as you set a mug in front of him as well as some toast. 

“Y-you can have more if you finish,” You said, awkwardly. “I just figured you don’t want an upset stomach,” How strange it was to see you like this, hair messy from sleep and in a simple sleeping gown that he wouldn’t have thought a person like you would wear. He had been wrong years ago so he wasn’t surprised to find you were far different than he expected.

“Thank you,” He said after he had devoured everything in front of him. You had tried not to stare as he had wolfed it down, as if he was scared it would be taken from him. Sirius wiped the crumbs from his mouth and looked at you.

You were prettier than he remembered. “Thank you for the food,” He clarified, “but also for what you tried to do all those years ago. You were the only one on my side and it seems you still are,” 

“Please dont thank me,” You winced as a heavy weight fell on your shoulders. “I gave up on you far too soon, after three years it seemed every mention of you was gone and then after five I started to wonder if you were still alive. My budget was tight and I couldn’t afford to continue trying to free you,” You buried your face in your hands. 

Sirius hadn’t been expecting that. His lithe fingers wrapped around your wrist, tugging at it until you looked at him. He intertwined his fingers with you. Oh how good it felt to be near someone. “I will still thank you, I’ve given you every reason to doubt me and when it truly mattered the most you were the only one who had faith in me,” 

You let out a sad chuckle. “You’re an idiot, Black, not a monster,” You teased. 

Sirius meant to laugh, he meant to jest back. Instead he found himself giving into deep sobs that wracked his entire body and made his chest feel tight. He fell forward, head falling against your chest as you rested a shaky hand in his hair, another hand patting his back as you let him cry. After being dehumanized Sirius needed to feel again and know what it was to be free to do so. 

When his tears subsided you picked up a rather scary looking knot of hair. “I think you need a shower,” 

Sirius snorted and nuzzled his face against your chest as he wiped at his eyes. Moving but not distancing himself he rested his forehead against yours in a show of appreciation. You were the rock he never expected to have in this time. It was strange and foreign but you were both leaning on each other in a way that had seemed impossible once. 

Looking at Sirius Black you felt your heart ache with something akin to warmth. He was a shell of the man he used to be but in a way he was a better man, worn down by the world but still kind, maybe even kinder than he was before tragedy shredded his life. 

“I’m sorry but it had to be you I came to see,” He spoke as you washed his dish absentmindedly, thinking of how you’d get the guest bedroom ready for him as he took a shower. You didn’t want to be mean but the man smelled like death. 

“I’m glad you came,” You spoke and realized the words were completely honest. “Stay as long as you need, you are safe here,” 

When Sirius nodded and walked by you, following your directions to your bathroom, he pressed a kiss against your cheek and your draw nearly dropped. Who would have thought you’d see the day where Sirius Black wanted to be near you for a reason other than tormenting you. 

He didn’t look back as he walked to your bathroom but he felt his heart begin to beat again. The world was a different place now but just as dangerous as it had been twelve years ago. Despite that fact he let himself relax as he stood underneath the scalding water. 

Sirius Black washed himself clean from all the grime and misery of the past and let himself become a man with a soul again. In your home he could free himself of the past. You were the start of a future where he could be free, or at least he was hoping. 

Besides all the time he had spent figuring out who could have framed him he had allowed himself to reflect on all the missed chances he’d had. You were his biggest regret. You had deserved a respect he had never once shown you and now he would make up for it. 

In his time away, it was easy to say you had been a happy memory he had clung to. You didn’t have specific memories together but the memory of you standing strong to defend him had resonated with him and had his mind stuck on what memories the two of you could have possibly made if he had learned not to hate as a child. There had always been more to you.

If he played his cards right and got the revenge he craved, the justice for his best friend, maybe he could hope to learn all the things that made you tick. 

Without even knowing it you had given Sirius a reason to come back from the depths of hell and have a purpose after he caught Peter and made him pay. 

[lostinbl]

Dean catches team and win kissing in the locker room after practice. Team freaks out and ignores win for a couple of days. Dean isn’t too surprised since he knows that win has like team for a while now. So he tries to give team the “dont hurt my friend” talk

“Don’t come any closer”, Team warns Win as he backs away. Win is looking at him with that goddamn smirk on his lips. He raises one of his eyebrows and takes a step forward. Team glances around but unfortunately for him, it’s just the two of them. Their practise ended well over half an hour ago after all. Team took his time showering and before he realised, the entire locker room was empty. Except for that one blond motherfucker.

Ever since that time, Team has made sure to not be left alone with Win. He can’t believe it slipped his mind this time.

Team let’s out a disapproving sound as Win takes another step forward. Win’s smirk gets even wider and goddamn Team wants to punch him.

“What? I’m not gonna do anything”, Win laughs as he keeps walking. Team’s back hits the cold metal lockers.

“P’!” Team warns but Win doesn’t care. He gets closer and soon Team can feel the man’s hot breaths against his face. A shiver runs through Team, lifting the hair on his arms. Team blames it on the cold. He’s not wearing a shirt after all. Win comes even closer, putting his arms next to Team’s head, trapping him against the locker. Team’s hands find Win’s bare chest as he tries to keep the boy away.

“We’re in the locker room!! We can’t do this again”, Team scolds Win but even he can hear the uncertainty in his voice. Unsurprisingly, Win ignores his words.

Slowly the smirk on his face fades and something much scarier replaces it. Win leans closer and Team freezes. Team would like to say he fought back, but he really didn’t. The moment Win’s lips touch his, Team’s eyes close and he relaxes against the lockers.

Win wraps his left arm around Team’s waist, pressing himself against Team. The hand that was earlier holding Win back is now wrapped around Win’s neck, pulling him closer, while his other hand is in Win’s hair. Team loves Win’s hair. He loves the way it looks but more than that, he loves the way it feels. His hair is soft and the perfect length to tangle his fingers in. That being said, Team’s fingers are intertwined with locks of blond hair and gently he moves his hand, tugging Win’s hair. Win lets out a deep groan and presses closer. The sound sends electricity down Team’s spine. Despite everything, there are some things he has learned about the man in front of him.

Win’s right hand slips down under the towel and he runs his fingers along Team’s thigh. Team knows he should stop Win, he should pull away because Win would let him, of course he would but Team can’t bring himself to do it. Not when everything Win touches turns to fire. Win’s hand moves up to his upper thigh. The blond boy moves his mouth and nibbles at a spot under Team’s ear. Team’s breath gets caught in his throat.

“Hia”, Team’s voice is shaky as he calls out. Win’s hand stops there, waiting for instructions. Win’s mouth doesn’t stop but Team knows he's waiting for an answer. Team opens his mouth, way too feverish to say anything other than yes when Team hears the door opening. The blood in his veins turns to ice and his eyes burst open. Team pushes Win away with what he admits to being a little too much force. Win looks at him with confusion and then follows Team’s wide eyes.

“Oh. Hello Dean”, Win greets his friend. He steps in front of Team to hide his dishevelled looks.

Dean lets out a sigh and presses his nose bridge with his thumb and index finger.

“Guys. Seriously? No matter how horny you are, please, not in the locker room”, Dean says in surrender. Win sighs and crosses his arms.

“You just had to come in now, did you?” Win asks but there’s humour to his voice.

“I’m sorry P”, Team mumbles as the reality of his actions finally catches up with him. In a hurry, Team picks up the pile of clothes on the bench and runs for the door.

“Team!” Win calls after him but the younger boy has already exited the room. Win takes a step after him, frowning. In the end, he decides against running after the boy. Dean leans against the wall, his eyes on Win. He can’t say he’s surprised, not really. He just didn’t think they were quite there yet.

“How long has this been going on?” Dean asks, his voice kind. Win sighs and picks up his shirt. He’s avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“There’s no this”, Win mumbles as he puts the shirt on. Dean raises his eyebrows.

“Oh?” Dean asks. He’s pretty sure Win likes the boy and from the way Team acts, he thought the feelings were mutual.

“Mmh”, Win agrees not providing an explanation. Dean stays quiet. If Win doesn’t want to talk, he won’t force him. He picks up his keys from the table, them being the reason he came back in the first place, and leaves for the door. Before exiting, he turns around and points at Win, giving him a meaningful look. Win smirks and raises his hands up in surrender. Dean chuckles and rolls his eyes, finally leaving.

The moment Dean is gone, the smile on Win’s face drops. He sighs and ruffles his hair. Win sits down and buries his face into his hands. Shit.

-

Four days later Win has not seen or heard from Team. The young boy has gone as far as to skip swimming practise. Whenever Win goes with Dean to meet Pharm and the rest, Team is nowhere to be seen. Win’s unsure whether Team has been hanging out with his best friends at all, or if he’s simply really good at avoiding Win. He hopes it’s the latter.

Once again, Win and Dean make their way over to the younger students. Win looks around with a frown. Still no sign of Team.

“Where’s Team?” Win asks no longer trying to be inconspicuous. He’s pretty sure Team’s friends have some idea of what’s going on. He has been asking the same question several times in the last few days after all.

“Team? He just left before you got here”, Manow answers as she takes another bite of a sandwich Win is sure Pharm prepared for her. Win breaths out in relief. So Team’s only avoiding him then. That’s better than avoiding everyone. Win sits silently throughout their meal which goes unnoticed by everyone else other than Dean. He knows his best friend better than that.

“I’ll go first then? See you at practise”, Dean says bye to Win as they leave for separate directions. After a quick conversation with Pharm, he got Team’s location. Since the boy has gone into hiding and Win can’t find him, he has to make a move.

Dean arrives into the library and just like Pharm said, Team is there, sitting on one of the tables. He doesn’t have any books open in front of him and it’s more than clear he’s not there to study. He’s there to hide. Team is leaning his chin against his arms, staring at something deep in thought. It’s weird for Dean, seeing Team like this since he doesn’t really know Team on a deeper level. Dean’s used to Team clinging to Pharm, always asking for food and constantly bickering with Win. His expressions are always loud and it’s strange to see him this solemn. To Dean’s luck, Team has picked a somewhat remote area and the closest people are a few shelves away. Dean walks over to Team and sits down. The younger boy only raises his head when he hears the chair scrape against the floor. Team’s eyes widen and he straightens himself.

“What’s going on? Is something wrong with Pharm?” Team asks, though clearly not alarmed. Dean smiles. His friends always come first. Win found a good guy.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I’m here about Win”, Dean answers and leans against the table, crossing his fingers. Team shrinks against his seat.

“What about him?” he asks, avoiding Dean’s eyes. Dean looks at his expression in silence for a little while longer.

“I’m not taking sides, I’m just here to talk”, Dean says and leans back against his seat. Team relaxes and nods, still looking away.

“Just.. if you’re not planning on being in a relationship with Win, tell him that”, Dean cuts straight into it. Team meets his eyes but doesn’t interrupt.

“He likes to flirt and play around but he really does like you. It’s not the first time he’s gotten his heart broken so be straight with him. If you’re not planning on being with him, stop seeing him. You’re no longer just a fling to him and he can’t walk away on his own. So if you’re planning to, you need to do it”, Dean’s voice is calm as he speaks. Team looks at his lap and plays with his fingers. Does he want to be with Win? Or… Team tries to think. This is the same question he has been battling with for the last several days. He was planning on figuring it out soon and in a way, he felt as though Dean had given him an ultimatum.

“Do you not want to be with him? Do you not like him? Or.. are you not ready to.. you know”, Dean clears his throat. Team’s eyes widen.

“No! It’s not that! It’s.. I’m not.. I..” Team’s voice drifts off. They stay in silence for a little while.

“Well.. either way, think about it. Don’t leave him hanging”, Dean says as he gets up. Team nods. Dean gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he leaves the table. Team sighs and lets his head fall against the table. His forehead stings but he ignores the pain. He has more important things to worry about.

-

At 2.56 am Win hears a knock on his door. Had it been any other day, Win would’ve probably been asleep. But it’s Friday and hence Win’s in no hurry to go to bed. That and the assignment he forgot to turn in three hours ago and the fact that he only finished it twenty seconds ago. Win sends the file to his professor, writing an excuse about his internet crashing and it only now working. Win’s pretty sure the excuse will pass, not that it really matters. As long as the assignment has arrived before the professor checks his email, he won’t say you’re late. He’s pretty chill like that.

Win gets up from his chair as he hears the loud knock again. Rather than knocking, it sounds like someone is kicking the door. Win grimaces at the thought of it waking up his neighbors. Win opens the door with an angry expression on his face, ready to yell at the idiot on the other side. And even though that person ends up being the biggest idiot of them all, Win can’t yell at him.

Team looks up at him with a conflicted expression. He’s wearing his nightwear clutching onto his phone and keys. His hair is dishevelled and it’s clear that coming over was an impromptu decision. Without a word, Win steps aside and Team slips past him. Team heads straight for the bed and without a word he climbs under the covers. Win is still standing at the door. With a sigh, he closes the door and follows Team inside. Win turns off his computer and the desk light then crawling under covers next to Team. Win wraps his arms around Team and pulls the younger boy in for a hug. Team doesn’t resist.

No matter what happens, Win knows he can’t push Team away. Whenever Team has those nightmares, whenever he can’t sleep or breathe the person he finds is Win. Tonight is proof. Even though Team has been avoiding him for days, when he really needed Win, he couldn’t stop himself from coming over in the middle of the night. And as long as Team needs to, Win will let him. Win presses a kiss into Team’s hair as he snuggles closer.

“Hia”, Team calls against his neck. Win tightens his hold around Team. He stays quiet.

“I didn’t mean to run. I just.. I needed to think a little. I’m sorry”, Team apologises. Win sighs.

“It’s okay”, Win answers with a quiet voice. He doesn’t blame Team. This is his first relationship and on top of it it’s with a boy. It’s only natural for him to be scared.

“I.. I want to be with you”, Team says the words quickly as if afraid he’ll swallow them if not said now. Win pulls back with surprise on his face. He meets Team’s eyes. The younger one doesn’t turn his eyes away.

“Yeah?” Win asks, his eyes not once leaving Team’s.

“Yeah”, Team replies with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Win stares at him a little while longer and then a smile takes over his lips. He lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and pulls Team in for a tight hug.

“Ynngh.. suffocating- over- here”, Team chokes out and Win laughs. He pulls back just a little. He brings his eyes down to Team’s lips and leans down. Win kisses Team softly on the lips and pulls back again. Team smiles. Win answers the smile and kisses Team again. Now that he’s allowed to, he’s not planning on stopping any time soon.

[harryseyebrows]

Yeah I am. Okay, so would Harry maybe roll over and be like ‘you get him this time/your turn’ to Jeff, who is obviously super confused. But follows the sound of a baby crying and rocks it back to sleep or changes it’s diaper? Or would Harry get the baby and leave Jeff to wonder wtf is going on?

okay so this is gonna be a choose your own adventure-collaborative effort alskdjfkasjdf SO, two options:

1. as you suggested, jeff slowly comes to, realizes he isn’t in his own bed because he’s used to his automatic room-darkening blinds being down to keep the sun out of his eyes, which..is clearly not the situation here because he thinks he’s being blinded??? he opens his eyes fully, blearily looks around, and instantly sits up quickly enough to give himself a head rush because what the fuck. he last night was a little weird after the cab ride from hell but he doesn’t remember going home with anyone?????? because that is most definitely another person in bed with him. jeff is panicking. he’s trying to think of ways to sneak out but when he looks for his phone, he can’t find it anywhere. then, just as he’s about to swing his legs off the bed, the person next to him speaks.

“the baby is crying.”

jeff freezes, clutching the unfamiliar duvet with sweating palms in a death grip. is that...no, it can’t be. 

the mystery person, who’s been mostly obscured by a mountain of pillows they’ve buried their head in, unearths themselves, revealing a thick head of dark hair and a pouty mouth that jeff couldn’t forget if he tried. 

“harry?” jeff splutters.

with a clumsy knuckle, harry rubs the sleep from one of his eyes, face covered in pink lines from the wrinkles in his pillow. his shoulders are bare--or rather, his whole torso is, which becomes increasingly obvious the further the duvet slips down. 

jeff’s mouth is dry. his whole body feels like it’s made of cement, anchoring him in place. his cheeks are blazing, likely cherry red. 

“the baby,” harry repeats, voice like tumbled rocks. he’s always been extra croaky in the morning. “it’s your turn to get him.”

“baby?” jeff practically squeaks. 

harry’s eyebrows form a little crease in the middle. “are you sick? you’re acting even weirder than you did when you had that super high fever last year.”

jeff doesn’t recall being fevered last year. perhaps, more importantly though, jeff doesn’t recall speaking to harry last year, or even the year before that. maybe this is a dream. a startlingly realistic one--and he’d like to thank his subconscious for its attention to detail on the freckles dusting harry’s shoulders--but a dream nonetheless. he drops his grip on the blanket and pinches his own thigh, hard, but all it seems to do is leave him with a dull ache. 

harry’s still eyeing him, traces of amusement clear on his face. “well, i have to get ready for work. so if you could stop acting deranged and attend to your son, that would be great.” with a sigh and a graceless flourish, harry flings the covers off himself and swans out of bed, and jeff is immediately assaulted by his pale, tan-lined ass as he rounds the bed and slips through a doorway. 

jeff feels dizzy. this can’t be happening. there’s just--there’s no way. he tries slapping his own cheek, once lightly, and then again, with more force, but it’s no use. he doesn’t wake up. he doesn’t get magically transported back to his own bed, in his own apartment. he doesn’t even know where he is right now. 

he scrambles out of bed, briefly and duly noting his questionable taste of bed attire (plaid boxer shorts and a lord of the rings t-shirt), and checks the window, only to reveal a street with houses all of similar sizes and styles. a neighborhood, straight out of some idolized suburban fantasy. all that’s missing is a white picket fence. 

he goes back over to the bed, checking under it, in the sheets, and on the table next to it, looking for his phone again. maybe his keys are around here somewhere, or his wallet. but there’s nothing on the floor either, except for a singular discarded sock. 

the door harry disappeared behind is shut, and jeff doesn’t dare knock. he’s still not convinced that harry is even real, like he’s the Other Mother from Coraline or something equally terrifying, despite his relatively unchanged and still handsome appearance. 

jeff is on his hands and knees, searching for...well, he isn’t sure what he’s looking for anymore, but just something that might be able to help him, when a little voice gives him pause. 

“daddy?”

jeff sits up slowly. in the doorway of the bedroom, is a little girl who has harry’s mess of curls, wearing purple and blue striped pajamas. he swallows, shakily pointing in the direction harry went. “he’s in there,” he says. 

the little girl shakes her head. she has big brown eyes, ones that instantly remind jeff of his nephews, and his own, from baby pictures his mom has hung up in his parents’ house. 

his stomach instantly falls somewhere between his knees. she--she looks like harry, but she looks like himself, too, jeff realizes with a startling amount of clarity. 

he doesn’t get to panic or dwell for long. the little girl is walking over to him, and before he can do anything other than stop moving entirely, she presses her small hand against his forehead. “hmm. you don’t feel warm.”

jeff chokes on a laugh. of course harry’s kid would be exactly like him. but then jeff looks at her, up close like this, and more of the pieces start to fall together: her small slightly curved nose, her full round face, the tilt of her mouth--confused but not unhappy. 

she’s...his. undeniably. he knows that. and he has to sit down, right on the floor, because otherwise he thinks he’d fall over. 

“jesus christ,” he mutters to himself, his whole body tingly and warm, like all of his nerve endings are just as frazzled as he is. 

the expression her face morphs into is all harry, though. heavy brows and narrowed eyes. “don’t say that, it’s not nice,” she says decisively. 

“i--sorry. just, yeah. sorry.”

she visibly softens, considering him for a long moment, her gaze thoughtful and wary. it’s a little funny; she can’t be any older than six or seven, but she looks wise beyond her years. 

“it’s okay,” she finally says. “but [baby’s name] is still crying. and i think you should go get him, because he woke me up.”

that’s right. jeff’s been distracted, but now that he starts to pay attention again, he can hear the baby who’s presumably down the hall. his son, harry had said. jeff went to bed last night, blissfully single, and woke up today with two kids. fuck. 

“right,” jeff says. he wants to ask her what he name is, but that’s wrong, isn’t it? if she’s his daughter? typically parents shouldn’t have to be reminded of their own kids’ names. 

he stands, wobbling only for a second, and sets off into unfamiliar territory, both metaphorically and literally. 

TA DAAAAAAAAAAA

or, 2. i suppose we could do something very similar but maybe harry just kinda huffs and gets up once he realizes that jeff isnt gonna cooperate, and collects the baby, only to bring him back to the bedroom and immediately hand him to jeff before going into the bathroom. but then we probs shouldnt do nakey harry because..kids dont wanna see that asjdflkasjdf

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

chapter 11.5 -- okay, 12, it’s chapter 12, fine, fine. I should stop trying to predict how long my chapters will be. I’m always wrong. the Fae AU keeps escaping all my predictions. it’s fine. it’s cool. 

[Beginning] [Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

It is not, as Apollo expects, the worst road trip he has ever been a part of. Trucy likes to sing along to the radio – she has a surprisingly good voice – which stops Clay from starting up his usual road trip tradition of bellowing out “Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and seeing how much he can get through before someone slaps him. Trucy claimed shotgun, as “the woman with the magic map”, meaning Apollo is shunted to the back with Ema, who upends her bag on the floor to pull from it a jumbo-sized pack of Snackoos and offer a handful to him.

“None for us?” Clay asks, pouting in the rearview mirror.

“Backseat privileges,” Ema replies.

Trucy cranks the radio up as a familiar guitar riff begins.

If it’s extortion, it works; she and Clay have not finished the first verse, Trucy’s almost-operatic interpretation running up against Clay’s off-key warbling, before Ema is shoving the Snackoos up between their seats, offering a trade of chocolates for an end to the car-vibrating force of Guilty Love.

“Not a fan?” Clay asks.

Ema groans. So does Trucy. “Don’t get me started,” Ema says.

“Yeah, please don’t,” Trucy adds.

“He’s a pretentious fuckin’ diva who—”

Trucy begins yelling out the chorus to the song over the second verse emitting from the radio.

They are all still arguing – Ema berating Clay’s taste in music while Trucy moves into an attempt to sing My Boyfriend is the Prosecution’s Witness to the tune of Guilty Love and Apollo tries to turn the volatile atmosphere anywhere else – when the song ends. Trucy shushes everyone, violently, smacking Clay on the arm and then flailing back at Ema, and turns up the radio. A DJ is in the middle of saying something.

“—announced today on their social media. While fans are disappointed, no one can say that the break-up comes as a surprise, after the sentencing of guitarist Daryan Crescend for murder in July, and the three months of, ahem, radio silence that’s followed. And earlier this week, leader singer Klavier Gavin’s brother was indicted on a second count of murder – I can’t say I blame him for maybe wanting to duck out of the spotlight. Gavin’s brother was previously charged in April, for—”

Trucy changes the channel. A commercial for a local furniture outlet doesn’t help break the awkward spell fallen over them. “Yeah,” she says, after a full minute, during which time they discover their new channel is a country music channel. “No real surprise.”

“Brother and bandmate,” Clay says quietly. “Hell of a year.”

“Hell of a six months,” Apollo says. And he was there for all of it – he was there for more of it than Klavier ever was. Klavier wasn’t there in April, not when Kristoph fell, not when any of them could have had any idea what was ahead. How much magic would surround them.

“If my older sister had been convicted of murder, I was gonna crawl into the dirt and die,” Ema says, “so I’m with the fop on that one, actually.”

There is a worrying lack of hypotheticals in the second half of Ema’s scenario. No “would have”s. Like she was where Klavier is, but the trial had a different outcome, and the frozen expression on her face, her eyes gone blank, she looks like she has caught up with her own words. Said too much. Apollo doesn’t know much about her as a person, her life before failing the forensics exam, how it was that she knew Mr Wright, but he can sympathize with that fear of having given away too much, turned the conversation down a path that should stay blocked off.

“You have a sister?” Trucy asks, turning around in her seat. “You seemed kinda ‘only-child’ to me.’ “Yeah,” Ema says quietly. “Older sister. Her name’s Lana. We don’t… talk much.”

Apollo doesn’t know why the name feels like it strikes something in his brain, the way Ema’s did when she first introduced herself.

“Oh.” Trucy visibly wilts. “Sorry.”

Ema shrugs, slumping back against her seat, her arms folded. “It happens,” she says. Her eyes are glazed over, settled in Clay’s direction. Her mouth quirks in the beginnings of a smile. “She took me to the Space Museum once, not long after it first opened.” The wistful smile has grown a little larger. “Back when I didn’t know what kind of scientist I wanted to be, so I wanted to go everywhere, and she was like ‘Ema I’m not taking you to the fucking tar pits again, how about space?’, and—” She shakes her head. “Sorry. Your jacket got me thinking. Do you work there or something?”

And that is the question that Clay most likes to be asked, that or literally anything else ever about space, and that is the end of any of them getting a word in edgewise – but while Apollo’s heard it all before, Trucy has questions galore, and Ema sits forward, slowly losing the pretense of not being enraptured.

-

They have driven for over two hours by the time Trucy directs them to pull of the highway at an exit that tells them there is nothing for them that way but another 38 miles until Kurain Village. “Is that where the Fair Folk live?” Ema asks dryly, in her voice none of the nervousness that people tend to have. Apollo hasn’t spoken much with her about magic, doesn’t know what she thinks – but, well, she knows Phoenix. That’s clue enough that caution comes secondary.

“Not really,” Trucy says. “They just named it that. It’s part of our world. Sometimes some of the fae do show up and hang around, I think – Maya tried to convince Daddy to move out here, once, apparently, but he wouldn’t leave the office.”

“Who’s Maya?” Apollo asks. Sometimes he realizes how little he knows about Phoenix’s personal life, too.

“Daddy’s friend. She’s – wait, stop! Here! Turn down this road here!”

“This is not a road,” Clay says, hunching over the steering wheel. “This is some dirt, off the road, not even in the shape of a dirt road.”

The car groans as Clay turns it off of the asphalt into the dirt. Trucy pops open the door and stands, holding herself between the door and the car roof and turning her face to the sky and the no-longer-distant mountains looming above them. She says something, muffled, and points into the trees. “We’re close,” she says, ducking back inside the car. “Let’s park and go – we’re close.”

“Park right here?” Clay asks, raising a doubtful eyebrow.

“Barely anyone comes this way,” Trucy says. “Like, one bus, except I’m not even sure if this is on its route. It’s fine.”

“I’m more worried that this is some sort of sacred ground that we’re stomping on,” Clay says, but he turns the key and then smacks his head against the top of the wheel. “How much are we going to regret just walking out there?”

“Probably we won’t,” Trucy says. She flings the door open and jumps out, stretching her arms up into the air. “C’mon already!”

“So what are we doing now?” Ema asks, crumpling the Snackoos bag back into her bag and tumbling forth from the car like a liquid spilled. “Just walking into the woods until we find treasure or a bear?”

“We do have a map.” Trucy waves it at her. “But yes. That’s what we’re doing.” She lowers the page halfway to her side and then stops, tilting her head back. “I’ve been here before,” she says. “Grandpappy and I – sometime – sometime after my mom died.” She takes a few slow steps toward the treeline, her movements uneven, as in a daze. “It was just the two of us. And we came here, and we buried—” She spins around, eyes wide, looking at all and none of them. “We buried his grimoire.”

Without another word of warning, she dashes into the woods, sending them scrambling to catch up to her. It’s colder here than in the city, though Apollo didn’t think they went up too far in elevation. Leaves thickly coat the ground; do they hide rings of flowers beneath them or do those in their magic break through? They finally reach Trucy when she, focused on her map, walks straight into a tree and takes some time to properly reorient herself.

“Do you know why here, of all places?” Apollo asks. “Is it because of the mountains, and he was…?”

He stops. Does Trucy know what her grandfather was? Phoenix didn’t say. Of course he didn’t.

“He said this is where he landed,” Trucy replies, crunching a leaf beneath her foot. “He said he fell, and this is where he landed.”

“Was he—” Clay’s sense, that question that they all know they shouldn’t ask, that question that Apollo has asked again and again anyway, wars against curiosity, against more than wanting to know – needing to know, to understand what is Trucy’s family. “Was he, erm, one of – Them?”

He can’t even bring himself to offer up one of the epithets. This close to the mountains, Apollo isn’t sure that he could bring himself to speak of them plainly like he has learned to.

“Yeah,” Trucy says. “But I’m human. Don’t worry.” She flashes a grin, one of her usual grins, but it is tempered by the speed with which is vanishes from her face again, replaced by a frown of concentration. “I think we must be close, but not quite yet.”

“Hey, Trucy?” Ema asks. She pushes a branch out of the way and it snaps back to nearly strike Clay in the face. “Not to pry, but – if your grandfather was one of the Fair Folk, are you the changeling, or was it your mother?”

Trucy stops.

“Wait,” Ema says. “Not a changeling – that’s the fae child. The human kid, the one swapped out. Is there a word for that?”

“I don’t think so,” Trucy says. She hops over a log. “I don’t think there’s a name for people like that.”

She doesn’t answer the first question. Maybe she doesn’t know, either.

“When you say you buried it,” Apollo says, aware that there is nothing subtle about this lifeline he is throwing to pull her away from questions best left avoided (am I a child stolen away, raised by the fae? Did they take me from the life I should have had?), “have we come all this way to be foiled for want of a shovel?”

“Oh fuck,” Trucy says.

“Hey!” Ema barks, her sharp rebuke the manifestation of that urge Apollo feels to scold her for that. “Language, young missy!” She folds her arms across her chest, her glare a fond one. “Where did you learn that?”

“My daddy’s a card shark,” Trucy says, countering Ema with a smug grin of her own.

“I thought he was a piano player,” Clay says.

“Only because you’ve never heard him play,” Trucy replies. “Easy mistake to make.”

“Considering it was all magic that hid the map,” Ema says, with nary a pause to acclimate everyone to the idea of throwing the conversation back past that latest sharp turn, “wouldn’t it be magic to hide it again, logically speaking?”

“Where’s the logic here?” Clay asks. Ema snaps a twig off a bush and flicks it at him. “And I mean, if it’s just covered up with some illusion, couldn’t anyone stumble into it?”

“Maybe it takes the map, too,” Apollo says. “Or maybe only a Gramarye can unveil it.”

He steps up onto a tree stump, like the extra five inches can grant him some kind of special insight or a better view in the forest of brown. Then he is falling, the wood rot giving way beneath his foot, a sharp jolt running up his leg from the twist of his foot. “Shit!”

Trucy winces. “Ouch. Poor Polly. I—”

“Apollo,” Ema says, very seriously, but somewhat muffled by her hand over her mouth. “Move. Move right now.”

“What?” He sits up, dislodging his foot from the stump, and looks about himself. The forest floor of dead leaves has cleared, as though by a strong, concentrated wind, revealing browned dead grass encased by a perfect circle of blue flowers. “Oh. Oh shit.”

Without an ounce of grace, still on his hands and knees, he scrambles and rolls his way out of the faery ring. “So according to the map,” Trucy says, and above his head Apollo hears the flutter of the paper, “I think we found it.”

“Only a Gramarye, huh,” Clay says dryly.

“That was only supposition!”

“So who’s gonna stick their hand in a rotten tree stump?” Ema asks, producing a flashlight from her bag and shining the beam down into it. “I volunteer Trucy, because she’s wearing gloves, and is our Gramarye.”

Trucy kicks up the leaves on her approach, searching for hints of another ring around the stump, more than just Apollo’s that sits adjacent to it. “If I get bit by a squirrel and get rabies and die, it’s your fault,” she says, kneeling down next to the stump and brushing her hair back to peer down into it.

“Statistically, your chance of getting rabies from a squirrel is negligible,” Ema says. “That shouldn’t be your worry.”

“What should I worry about, then?” Trucy asks. “Can you bring the light a little closer?”

“Bats, racoons, foxes, feral cats and dogs, and right now, probably non-rabies Fair Folk curses, since we’re fucking around by a ring.”

“I’m still concerned about bears,” Clay says.

“I’m not,” Ema says. “I’ve already got my plan, which is to trip you into its path.”

“General ‘you’, or me, specifically?”

“You specifically. Nothing personal, though. I just know Trucy and Apollo better than you.”

“This is way heavier than I thought,” Trucy says, falling off-balance and dropping something dark and rectangular. “Oof! Okay. Okay. We got it!” She lifts it up onto her knees, a thick book with a black cover and a character emblazoned in flowing purple script on it. “I knew I remembered this.” Her voice is quieter as she opens the book and flips through the rough-edged pages. “Grandpappy’s grimoire.” She closes the cover again, reverently, and keeps it balanced on her legs as she turns back to the stump. “Light again, please. I thought I saw something else.” Trucy has her head nearly in the hole, which can’t help her with her light situation, and she sits back and plunges her hand in again. “Yep! This is a – a funny-looking magatama?”

She holds it up, the blue stone sparkling in the flashlight beam, but also seemingly with its own interior glow, and Apollo gasps.

Three sets of eyes turn to him.

“That’s a mitamah,” he says, and to his own ears he sounds like he’s choking, but he feels like he’s choking too, and maybe the others don’t notice but he doubts it. “That’s someone’s soul.”

Trucy drops it into the leaves.

“What?” Clay looks suspicious – Trucy looks horrified. “How do you know?”

(“There’s no reason to give away your soul,” Dhurke told them, sternly, the sternest he ever got. “Never.” And then they tried to argue, to come up with reasons, because of course they did, and he hugged them both close. “You’ll make great lawyers someday, always looking for reasons and other ways, but this one – promise me. Nahyuta. Apollo.” He prodded each of them in the chest. “Don’t let someone else get their hands on your soul.”)

“The tail of it is different.” Apollo picks it up, brushing off the dirt and leaf particles that cling to it, and points to the longer, squiggling protrusion that extends from the loop. It doesn’t fully connect like a magatama, either, more like a hook than a circle.

It feels warm in his hand, humming through his fingers and up into his ears. It reminds him of the office – familiar, but disturbing, because there is no reason that it should feel so familiar and comforting.

“Could it be your grandfather’s?” Ema asks.

“Wouldn’t that mean he’s still alive?” Clay asks. “Is that possible?”

“It couldn’t be,” Apollo says. If he stares at the mitamah he thinks he can see flecks of gold within the blue, like stars on a constellation chart. “The Fair Folk don’t have souls like we do. They can’t sell them or manifest them like this.”

“Is that why they want human souls?” Ema asks.

“How do you know?” Clay repeats.

Apollo’s heart has stoppered up his throat.

“It makes them stronger,” Trucy says softly. “When they buy names, or souls, it makes their magic stronger. But this – this can’t be that.” She hugs the grimoire up to her chest. “It can’t just be that.”

“Should we just… put it back?” Ema asks. “Someone’s probably looking for it, right?”

“It’s been seven years and no one has come before us,” Apollo says. The humming isn’t as steady now, seems more like a song, and familiar, damned familiar. “No, we can’t just leave her here.”

In the silence, even the song seems to stop. “What?” Apollo asks. Their three sets of eyes are on him again, even more piercing, Trucy’s wide and Clay’s narrowed and Ema’s narrowing too.

“‘Her’?” Ema repeats. “Why ‘her’?”

“I…” Apollo swallows his heart. “I don’t know, but I… I know?”

“I don’t think you should be holding that in your bare hands,” Clay says.

But the alternative seems to be dropping her in the dirt again, and Apollo’s fingers curl tighter around the stone. He can’t do that, either. Trucy unties her scarf from around her neck and silently passes it to him, letting him wrap the stone up in the red fabric and then cradle it close again. The song thrumming in his ears ceases. “I guess we should take it to Mr Wright and ask him if he knows what to do,” Ema says. “He’ll know what to do with it. Her?”

Trucy’s gaze is unfocused, her head slowly drifting away from the horizon back toward the stump. “Trucy?” Apollo asks. “Are you okay?”

“He wouldn’t do that,” she says. “Just buy up someone’s soul all for himself. He wouldn’t. There had to be some other reason. It wasn’t just power, there had to be a good reason.”

(“There’s no reason,” Dhurke said. “Never.”)

“He gave me magic, as a gift,” Trucy says. “He was a good man.” She looks up at Apollo, blinking her blue eyes furiously. “Wasn’t he?”

-

It takes them another forty-five minutes to stumble out of the woods and find Clay’s car again. Ema makes everyone nervous talking about the odds of them stumbling across a body decomposing in the undergrowth – “I have zero desire to ever get caught up in one of your murder investigations,” Clay says, picking up a branch from the bushes and brandishing it like a baseball bat – and bears. The two of them are at least doing a good job of filling the silence left by Trucy, uncomfortably quiet, walking in a trace. Apollo tugs her by the arm out of the way of trees. He could put the mitamah in his pocket but hasn’t, has kept it held close to his chest.

The story that Phoenix spun of the Gramaryes is gnawing at him. A woman, on the bad end of a deal with Magnifi – Apollo doesn’t want to think about the possibility.

(Trucy must be thinking about the possibility, mustn’t she?)

She crawls into the back seat of the car, depositing the grimoire in the middle, and Ema makes a mad dash for the front seat, leaving Apollo to sit on the other side of the grimoire, separated by it from Trucy. The only time she speaks is to call Phoenix and ask him if he is at the office – he is, because she directs Clay to go back to the office.

It is a long, quiet ride home, some subdued conversation between Ema and Clay about their fields of science rising over the country music still on the radio. Trucy taps Apollo’s hand and beckons him to hand her the mitamah. She takes off one of her gloves and weighs it in her hand with an ever-deepening frown until she wraps it back up and passes it back to Apollo.

Ema shouts “Yellow car!” and hits Clay on the shoulder. He hits her back and tells her that she needs to specify no punch-backs next time.

-

Phoenix is sitting on the floor leaning against the couch with two notebooks and a stack of papers spread out in front of him, the coffee table shoved to the side, a pencil in his mouth and another tucked behind his ear, when they stagger into the office. Apollo is mediating an argument about the merits of Eldoon’s for a late lunch – Ema does not want to brave it, while Clay wants nothing more than to do so. Phoenix does not look up.

“Hey, Daddy,” Trucy says wearily.

His head snaps up, dislodging the pencil behind his ear. “What’s wrong?”

“You always complain about your back hurting, and now look what you’re doing.” Trucy’s words sound forced through a smile. Phoenix’s frown deepens. He watches Trucy walk past him to deposit the grimoire on his desk.

“We went looking into the envelope you gave her the other day,” Apollo says. “The real last page.”

Phoenix doesn’t look back from Trucy right away. “A full expedition team, huh?” he asks, raising one eyebrow as he looks over Ema and Clay. “Who’s this?”

“Er, oh, yeah. I’m Clay Terran. Apollo’s roommate.” Clay points with his thumb at Apollo, even though they all know there is only one Apollo that they know. “You’re Mr Wright, yeah?” He doesn’t do a good job of feigning enthusiasm.

“I know that look,” Phoenix says, standing with a wince and an audible crack of some of his joints. “That’s the ‘I’ve heard about you and it’s nothing good’ look.” He lets Clay splutter for a full two seconds before he grins crookedly and adds, “That’s fair.” Almost immediately, his expression flattens out to something stern and almost entirely foreign. “Trucy,” he calls. “What’s wrong?”

“We found my grandfather’s grimoire,” she says, sitting on the desk and holding it up, only for it to slip from her hands and crash to the floor. “And Polly has the other thing that was with it.”

Apollo unwraps the mitamah.

Has he ever seen Phoenix surprised? The man spent seven years an unbeaten poker player, and this past half-year absolutely inscrutable to Apollo’s eyes. There is nothing controlled in his reaction; his mouth falls open and his eyes go wide, turning blue immediately and staying blue, horror apparent in how they linger on the mitamah. “Oh,” he breathes. “That is – yeah.”

He reaches forward with trembling hands and scoops up the scarf spread across Apollo’s hands. He holds it cradled close, too, his free hand cupped beneath the one holding it, prepared to catch the stone should it slip, but still not having touched it with bare skin. “So,” he says. “The ‘source’ of Magnifi’s magic – that grimoire, and this soul.”

“But,” Trucy says, “that…” She stops. She chews on the inside of her cheek. Mr Hat, the wisp, is visible, bobbing frenetically around her shoulders. “It’s…” Her shoulders slump. “Do you know what to do with that, Daddy? Is there a way to know what person a soul belongs to?”

“Not from looking only at the mitamah,” Phoenix answers. His eyes still hollow blue when he turns them back to Trucy. “I am not particularly familiar with mitamahs, honestly, but I’ll look into it and see what I can do to get it back to her.” He takes the stone in one hand and offers Trucy her scarf back. “If the fae who has possession of a soul is still alive, they can just give it back – not that many are willing to, mind – but since he’s dead – well.” He shakes his head. “Thank you, though. For helping Trucy, and bringing this back.”

It’s a firm end to the conversation, not that Apollo knows what more to ask about a soul. Ema, though, is frowning, her arms crossed, her mouth twisting like she is puzzling out something. “We were gonna go get noodles at Eldoon’s,” Apollo says. “If – if you wanted to come, Trucy.”

“Oh!” She looks surprised, like she hadn’t expected to be addressed. “Um.” Her heels bounce against the desk. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

Her hands, curled around the edge of the desk, shine red. Apollo doesn’t even need that to know she’s lying.

-

“We all agree she’s not okay, right?” Clay asks.

They were silent for a block down from the office, Ema not even complaining about losing the Eldoon’s battle. (Apollo was prepared to tell her that she didn’t have to come, but she had attached herself to them without a cursory protest.)

“Definitely not,” Ema says. “I guess she doesn’t want to believe that her grandfather was the double-dealing type of Folk – which, I’ve read the case file on his death, I’d believe that about him in a hot second. There’s nothing worse than a blackmailer like that. Also.” She plants herself firmly in the sidewalk. Apollo and Clay both bump into her. “None of us referred to the mitamah as ‘she’ or ‘her’, right? Like you were, Apollo.”

“None of us but Trucy even talked about it,” Apollo says. Clay nods. “Why?”

“Because Mr Wright did.” Ema’s forehead creases. “He said he would ‘get it back to her’. He wasn’t even touching it, was he?” Apollo shrugs. Ema shrugs too. “He knows something. More than he said.”

“He always does,” Apollo says.

They reach Eldoon’s, and Ema says that it’s weird to see the stand without a corpse attached. The look that Clay gives her makes her and Apollo both laugh. Once they have their noodles, they walk another few blocks to People Park and find a bench not far from where the noodle-stand crime scene once stood. Apollo has learned to be grateful for the mouthfuls of broth that taste of so much salt to sting. It feels a little more like safety, like salt across a doorway.

He starts to say what he’s thinking, that Trucy might be worried that the mitamah is her mother’s, or at least he is, but the words die on his tongue, shriveled by the salt. He doesn’t feel right to tell Clay and Ema about Trucy’s mother’s death, when he has no idea if Trucy knows or not. Phoenix has made him the guardian of family secrets that aren’t his and something about that feels wrong. Maybe necessary in some way, to understand the case, to understand what happened with Kristoph, but still wrong.

Instead, he helps Ema explain to Clay her earlier comments about Magnifi and blackmail. You can’t refuse, and we both know the reason why – Trucy can’t know he did that. She seemed to idolize him. What a hard way to fall.

He’ll text her tomorrow, Apollo decides. Check in, see how she’s doing.

(There’s probably someone else he should check in with, too, the events of this week all considered.)

[ericcmontgomery-blog]

( michael b jordan, cismale ) did you hear how ERIC MONTGOMERY is applying to columbia university as a ART major ?! the 26 year old is living in the CARLTON ARMS. i heard that they got in because they are +ALLURING and +PERSISTENT , but honestly i think HE can be -NEGLECTFUL and -ARROGANT. they’re a real CRESTFALLEN.oh well, only time will tell if the GRADUATE will make it til the end.  

whats up lovers, lucky here. this is a favorite muse of mine that i’ve come to revive. read below for a brief(longish) bio and tap that heart for me to gracefully slide into ur dms. 

tw death, tw drugs

born & raised in boston, massachusetts. he grew up in one of the rougher suburbs of the city with a single mother and three younger sisters. his father walked out on the family after his youngest sister was born & he hasn’t seen him since.

had to grow up quick, often left to take care of his siblings, practically raised them. he didn’t mind this, he understood his responsibilities 

to help make ends meet he got involved with drugs, dealing them on the regular outside of school. he partnered up with his best friend and the two made enough to help support their families, of course without their knowledge

his best friend was killed in a deal gone wrong, he carries guilt on his shoulders to this day, knowing he was the one who was supposed to make the deal that day

cares for his family deeply and is incredible protective over them, fears to disappoint them over his consistent drug use and how entangled he is with dealing

got into art around the time of his friends death, it was something that took his mind off things and he was actually good at it. he clung to a nikon he bought from saving up his funds and is often spotted shooting pictures around campus

also loves to paint, more of a hobby of his but sells some of his better work

went to NYU for his undergrad, hoping to dive into the art realm but needed more experience. he works on short films and would love to get into directing. 

he received a scholarship after graduation to columbia to pursue his master, something he never saw himself accomplishing. 

eric was in a serious relationship at NYU, the pair were engaged but a month before they were set to wed she left him, this caused a rift in his emotions. he tends to sleep around, neglecting to form true bonds with the women in his life. 

he doesn’t see himself getting into a relationship again, at least anytime soon. he holds deep trust issues that are hard to break. 

despite his rough past eric is a very heart warming guy, he’ll have your back until the end if you’re close with him, he will never betray you and he’s a good shoulder to lean on in times of need

can also be a bit arrogant, conceited and such but this rarely shows. he’s very flirtatious and playful, loves to tease others. 

CONNECTIONS

best friend: someone that eric confides in, he keeps most of his shit internalized so this could be someone that was able to crack his shell. they’re attached at the hip and are rarely seen apart, most likely cause mayhem at the bars & are banned from at least 3 walmarts. 

fling(s): eric sleeps around, consistently. he loves a good one night stand or mutual fwb relationship. he’ll be straight forward with you when it comes to what he wants. 

clients: eric is pretty reliable dealer, doesn’t matter the time of day he’ll get you what you want. he does tend to stray from the hard stuff but sticks to weed, xanax and a few psychedelics.

enemies: not everyone is gonna get along man, give me some type of rivalry, whether it be in the art world or social world. for some reason they just dont get along.

exes: while he hasn’t been in a serious relationship since his ex he wouldn’t be opposed to something casual. this could have ended in a rough way, one sided feelings or simply eric being a dumbass. open to anything 

NOT LIMITED TO THESE! come slide in my dms, willing to plot out just about anything :) 

[tropicalgoon]

Spoilers for the Homestuck Epilogue below.

First things first, i had caught up reading Homestuck on the exact day the Gigapause started (10/16/13). So long pauses and people arguing about canon was pretty common. Then the comic ended but later we got snapchats. Once the snapchats started coming people were unsure how ‘canon’ the snapchats were. Also    

i was surprised with how fast the rest of the Epilogue came out. I figured it would have been drip fed like the comic was but reading it now i can see why that was not the case. If you haven't read the Epilogue i have one thing to say.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS THEY ARE NOT JOKES.

With that out the way, i think the biggest shift in the Epilogue vs the actual comic is that everything is way more mature. While Homestuck was full of angsty, snarky teens and a lot of jokes, ironic and not, the Epilogue overall has a more somber, powerless mood to it.

Also one more thing, i do not have a fav character or ship. So that might be why im upset about how it is.

Now i read the Candy choice first so ill talk about that. Now as soon as i saw the juju i knew it was going to have an effect. And i was right, the juju makes people feel okay with their surroundings and so when John ate it he felt at ease with the chaos his life and friends were becoming. But hoo boy did everyone suck all around. 

i knew Gamzee was gonna be back and i was not wrong. i think the whole iVe bEeN GeTtIn mY MoThErFuCkIn rEdEmPtIoN On sO EvErYtHiN I Do iS GoOd was a funny bit but maaaaaan did it get a lil crazy. Jake has always been a doormat and easily manipulated. So nothing too new there but it was nice when he ran off with lil tavros. Also i guess hes the earth c equivalent to a kardashian.

 It really surprised me how fast Roxy got together with John. In fact the Candy Roxy is way different than the meat Roxy. i guess thats the juju at work. Rose was sick with an “illness” but soon after the candy was ate she got “better”. What actually happened was she stopped trying to open her mind to the infinite degree and just let herself live in the moment and be truly happy. It was nice to see her and Kanaya have a happy life, at least until everything went bad. As for Dirk i felt bad for him because he always had that whole meta textual self importance thing going on so when he offed himself i was like oh no. Its nice that him and Dave had bro-sesions.

And now time to talk about Jade, Dave, and Karkat. It feels like Dave and Karkat have mostly stayed the same with a few big differences.1) they both are a little less insufferable, 2) Karkat has accepted he is a leader and 3) their tip toeing around relationships was kinda annoying. Which brings me to Jade. She was butting into all three of their relationships trying to force them to admit feelings. While ive seen some people say Hussie killed Jade i personally dont think so. Jade was always a headstrong, stubborn person who would go after what she wanted and i mean she was on an island by herself for most of her life if she wants to have fun let her. 

Jane really went off the deep end. Which i dont think was so far off her canon personality in the comic. Her denying being xenophobic while being incredibly xenophobic was funny but also pretty real. While i didnt like they way she interacted with Jake it honestly fits in with what happens in the comic. (the trickster stuff, the crockercorp kidnapping). Her whole shadowy rise to hidden power was inevitable also i feel like she was really echoing the Condense on earth. Allowing Gamzee to spread his faith while funneling her wealth and fame into passing the policies and laws she wants. I do not think its out of character for her and Dirk to hate trolls since their lives were so affected by them. 

Johns depression clouding his judgement and making him not want to react was sad to read. It really felt like he was just drifting around, letting all of the situations and chaos just wash over him. So when he was talking to Terezi and she helped him make sense of things it was a nice turn of pace.

Speaking of Terezi, its sad how long she went chasing after (Vriska). As of this moment i dont really think the quadrant system is really in place anymore (at least relationships with humans in it). With John and Terezi talking to each other it really felt like blackrom.  “1F 1 W3R3 3V3R TO DO BL4CKROM 4G41N, 1T WOULD H4V3 TO B3 LOW K3Y”. It is sad her obsession with finding (Vriska) led to her dying in the void.

Seeing Aradia and Sollux was a surprise but they really didnt add much to anything (esp. Sollux). It was kinda funny how much of a dickhead Cade (Calliope Jade) was towards her. Cade was interesting. i really feel like she acts like she did in the comic. 

(Vriska) returning was also not a surprise. She THE most known character. Of course she would be back, but not by her own accord. She wants the spotlight, she HAS to have it. Now that she is trapped on earth c she is now out of canon and so she is out of the spotlight. Thats why she was wailing about needing to SEE it. I think its kinda funny she ends up having a quick fling with Gamzee, and he tries to sell her on his redemption arc bullshit. It really shows how far her obsession has let her fall.

And now its time for meat. Honestly im glad i read candy first because meat was really nice to read after candy. As i said with candy, i figured meat would be the more active of the two (duality like the cherubs). 

First off it was really nice to see how much Dave believes in Karkat and how he thinks Karkat would be leader earth c NEEDS. In Meat they still have their relationship drama with themselves and Jade. I really feel like shes slightly more direct in this one. After the blowup 

John dealing with Roses instructions, finding and bringing together the younger versions of themselves so they could go fight a younger Caliborn and getting sucked into the the house juju was not a surprise since its been theorized thats what would happen. Of course Rose did not warn him, or even tell him what to do. Even when the younger versions of Johns friends die and get hurt he still tries to save them. 

Jake is a very powerful figure in the new earth, he doesnt even realize it. Which leads to everyone trying to get him on their sides. I honestly feel like this is partly his page powers (but then again the classes and aspects dont mean all that much) but he has always been unconfrontational and a doormat. Dirk, Jane, Dave, and Karkat only want to use him for his ass and fame so they can further their agendas. 

i think its rather fitting that (Vriska) doesnt get to see how the battle against Lord English ended. It was GREAT to see Davepetasprite^2 make a comeback and fight Lord English. She KNOWS the final battle isnt her battle but she is still THE ONE who turns the tide. She’s the one who has brought the winning piece so its still a victory of hers by proxy. Also she does not have the talk with Vriska (rose and kanayas kid) on a clown throw pillow so she does not get to do the self reflection she needs. Instead she gets sucked into a black hole.

The Jane and Dirk combo was not surprising, they both had the hangups about Jake and i feel like it ended the same way. Once they got what they wanted it was no longer exciting, or mysterious. But reading the political sabotage and Dirks plans coming together made me realize he was using her for his own gains too. 

Now the whole Rose dying because her physical body couldn't contain the infiniteness of infinity was truly heartbreaking. Especially when Dirk was fucking with Kanaya. i do not know how much of Rose was being manipulated by Dirk and how much was her wanting to end her chronic suffering(2real4me). Addressing all of the....implications around those two. i really do not think they ran off to be together. i believe Rose is the first person Dirk has really connected with on a actual personal level. From what ive seen he does not really treat people as well... people. I think him and Rose are feeling the, “i am the only real person here and everyone else is a puppet” feeling John and Terezi was talking about. But unlike John, Dirk was never one to sit idly by, hes a mechanic after all. All the pieces have to be in place.

The whole bit with Cade and dirk taking control of the narrative was something i feel like has been building up for a long while. The unreliable narrator has been established a few times in the comic, in friendsim, and now in the epilogue. But it does raise a good question about who has been narrating the story and can they be trusted to give us the truth. We saw Dirk acknowledge that he is not unbiased and says things as he sees it. Cade says shes unbiased and just gives the whole truth but all i can think about is how she made Jane carefully cradle the juju and put it on the mantle. Watching Dirk outsmart Cade was defiently exciting to read. I cannot wait to see where all of this is leading to. 

Do i think thats the end of both of Davepetasprite^2 and Lord English? No, as the comic has always said,” Don’t turn your back on the body.” We dont know where they ended up but we’ll just have to wait for more to come out and i cant wait. Does Rose, Dirk, and Terezi (i guess) have an agenda, yes. Do i have any goddamn idea what that is? Nope, and im fine with that. Overall i enjoyed both of them.

[lord-taika]

All I want Fangs x OFC part 1/?

A/n: Fangs Needs more love. Also, this story might be really shitty but any type of feed back would be incredible. 

When it came to Fangs Fogarty nobody really saw him dating anyone. It wasn’t that nobody wanted to, it was just he never mentioned having even a thing for anyone. Sure he had flings but they were all meaningless and sure he kissed girls and slept with some of them but nobody truly remembered him having fillings for anyone, well that was true until a certain 5′5 girl with long black/brown hair, light brownish blue hues, sun-kissed complexion and a sassy attitude waltzed into Southside high about four maybe five months ago. She wasn’t special at all, just your typical plain Jain yet somehow she managed to catch the eyes of some of here peers including Fogarty. She first noticed him when he walked into her History class with a short pink haired beauty and a giant of a man and sat right in front of her. She wasn’t trying to listen to their conversation but when the unknown stranger that sat in front of her was cracking jokes alongside the pink haired girl about the tall guy she heard snippets of it.  “I’m such a nice person!” The tall one said as he faced both his friends causing the guy in front of her to reply with “ Oh, please. You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants” as soon as those words left the boys mouth Danielle let out a laugh before she realized she probably shouldn’t have been ease dropping and quickly mumbled a ‘sorry’ before she continued to write in her notebook, she was already regretting laughing thinking that the trio in front of her probably thought she was a weirdo who couldn’t mind her own business, but boy was she wrong. As soon as Fangs heard her laugh he felt something pull at his heart. He had never talked to the curly haired girl behind him but something about the way her laugh sounded like music to his ears, so he introduced himself and she did the same. From then on Fangs and Dani became close friends, occasionally flirting with each other.

Although Fangs and Dani had been flirting/talking for two months she hadn’t formally been introduced to Fangs’s friends so he had arranged for his friends to meet him at Pop’s to meet the girl he had been talking to.  After finding out about the little lunch she had felt calm until the day of said lunch. She spent what seemed like half the day looking for a outfit to wear. She didn’t want to get all dressy and have Fangs’s friends think she was trying to hard but she also didn’t want to wear whatever she had laying around and have his friends think that he could do so much better than her. finally she decided on the perfect winter outfit to meet his friends. It wasn’t anything fancy but it also wasn’t her ‘lazy day outfit’, it was casual and cozy. She decided to do a simple do with her hair and only put on chapstick and mascara.  Snow had started to fall earlier that morning but it wasn’t bad, she, however, didn't trust herself to drive in this condition so when she heard that her older brother was going to pops to hang out with some friends she hitched a ride with him. As they pulled up to Pop’s Dani’s stomach started doing flips and she was so close to just telling her brother that she’d walk home, but before she could even say anything to her older brother Jacob, he had started speaking. “Don’t wimp out. I know you. Right now you’re picturing the most horrible scenarios imaginable. I’ve seen the way your face lights up when his name comes across your screen, or how you started listening to happy and upbeat songs about love. Hell, you even started telling me the god-awful jokes he tells you that somehow manage to make you laugh beyond control. If that doesn’t speak volumes about how hard you fell for this dude I don’t know what does.  If He likes you then I'm sure his friends are going to like you too. Just be yourself. “Jacob said as he turned off the car and started climbing out, while Dani processed the words he said to her before she followed his lead and both of them walked into the small diner before parting ways. It wasn’t hard to spot the small group of serpents in the dinner, especially with Toni’s pink hair, sweet peas tallness? and Fogarty laugh echoing throughout the place.  “Hi” Dani simply said as she walked up to the table. “Guys, this is Dani. Dani, this is Toni and Sweetpea.” Fangs spoke before he stood up and wrapped her into a tight hug. As soon as he pulled her in for the hug, her arms where already wrapping around him before she smiled at the small embrace. “It’s nice to finally meet you guys, or at least talk to you.” The blue-eyed girl spoke before sliding into the booth, fangs sliding in next to her. “Fangs has told us a lot about you but we’d much rather hear from the source. So tell us about you.” Toni spoke.    “What do you want to know?” “Where are you from and why did you move to Riverdale?” Pea spoke. “I'm originally from Washington but we moved to New York about a year ago and then my dad decided to move us down here I-” “But why would you go to the south side when you could’ve just stuck with the Northside. You’d fit in.” The taller serpent spoke again.  “Pea. You’re being rude.” Toni said giving me a look as if to say sorry. “No its fine.  My family and I live in the Northside as you called it. My older brother goes to Riverdale High for their football team while I go to Southside High because I think it’s a better fit for me.” “Yeah but you’re a rich preppy girl so why would you willingly go to our school. I’ve heard about girls like you. you’re one of those girls that is just trying to get under daddy's skin “ I’m not rich. My parents might be but I have at least two dollars to my name. I think that you out of anybody wouldn’t judge someone by what you think they look like. Just cause we moved to the North side doesn’t mean it like one of those egotistical assholes that go there. Plus if we were to listen to what everyone else thought about someone do you really think I’d be sitting in a booth with three Serpents? I’m choosing to get to know y’all better instead of listening to what other people have to say. Any other questions?” I asked looking at him. He didn’t speak, instead he looked at me as if he approved of my answer. “Lets go order something” Fangs said talking to pea before they both went to place our orders. “Sorry about him. He just wants to make sure you wont hurt Fangs. I think you go his approval.” Toni spoke. “I'm glad he approves of me. What about you?” “I approved of you since the first time Fangs came over to peas trailer and had this shit eating grin on his face because ‘the pretty girl from class laughed at my stupid joke’ . You make him happier than I’ve seen him in a while. Thanks.” She spoke smiling at me. “He honestly is an incredible guy. Glad i make him as happy as he makes me.” I spoke looking down. “If you hurt him though, i will kick your ass.” “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” I said causing both of us to laugh. “what are we laughing at?” Fangs said as he and pea came back. “Nothing.” Toni and I both replied causing us to start laughing again. “I’m going to regret having both of you guys getting to know each other” Fangs said before he slid back into the booth and put his arm around my shoulder. “so when did you guys start dating?” Pea asked after a moment of silence. “Uhm we actually haven’t” Fangs started explaining as his face turned a bright crimson color. “We’re not dating” “Not yet” Toni said smirking.  After a couple more conversations and eating our food we decided that it would be best to head home since the snow had started to stick and it would be hard to drive anywhere. “Do you need a ride?” Fangs asked as he put on his leather jacket. “I think-” “Dani, time to go. The guys were telling me how hard it's going to be to drive soon” I heard Jacob say as he stood in front of our booth. “Okay let me just finish saying bye” “I'll go turn the heater on in the car.” Jacob spoke before he made his way out of pops. “Guess that’s my queue to go. It was nice hanging out with you guys.” I said to Pea and Toni. “Thanks for taking me to meet your friends. I’ll see you at school.” I said turning my attention towards fangs before placing a small kiss on his cheek and heading out to the car.  

Fangs P.O.V

“That girl is definitely going to get me in trouble soon. “ I spoke as I watched her leave the small diner. “Ask her out already,” Toni said as she stood next to me. “I will. Just gotta find the perfect time.” “Do it soon before she realizes that your jokes actually suck and you’re not actually funny.” Pea jokingly said as he smiled to himself watching how swooned his friend was over this girl.

Lemme know if y’all want a second part or if i should just end the story there. 

As always dont forget to like, comment and reblog.  Any questions or concerns can be directed to my messages. 

[baconpal]

What didn't you like 'bout mario

oh boy time for me to type a lot of words about video games!! click here for large rants

so every since they revealed the game, mario looked kinda wrong with how he moved, like the game was being played sped up, and having played it, can confirm mario is INSANELY snappy and heavy, and it doesn’t feel good to me, sunshine and galaxy had good weight and believably in how mario moved, but odyssey is just 0 to 100. Its something you can eventually get used to but it caused more problems than it should have.

The actual button layout stuff is also a bit weird, specifically dive and quick-swim being performed by attacking during a ground pound, as opposed to having their own buttons like sunshine and galaxy. It makes them feel stilted and adds the ability to fuck up executing a simple movement option and getting yourself killed. The reason this bugs me is that X and Y do the same thing as well as B and A doing the same thing, so why not just make one of the double buttons do the other moves? 

The hat, the one thing i actually was genuinely hyped for, does everything they promised, it is in fact FUN to throw the hat and bounce on it and do stuff like that and to use the joycons to throw the hat in different directions, even though you cant really get much use out of throwing it up and down. 

But the CAPTURE mechanic is awful, about 4 of the captures are good and cool and nice, and the other 46 are actually pointless, they are all limited in what they can do, and it just makes me wish i was playing as Mario with all the moves and abilities he has naturally.  I dont want to stop having 100 ways to jump so i can become a frog who jumps higher and moves at 1 mile an hour. I dont want to stand under things and stretch my big onion legs for the 20th time in a row. I’d rather the few good captures just be level mechanics, such as mario physically riding a bullet bill, or getting a powerup that allows him to fling himself off walls like the bird does, or letting mario grab those cool flingy things in new donk with his own hands 

SPEAKING of, no power ups, which is horribly disappointing after how PERFECTLY implemented they were in 3D Land. There’s no mushrooms of any kind in the game, and no enemy koopas outside of hammer bros and dry bones, just a lot of staple things missing, which isn’t to say a mario game needs them to be good, but theres a lot of things that felt like it’d have been better if they WERE there. Like why are there hearts and “1 up hearts” instead of shrooms and 1-ups to increase health. Why does the bowser kingdom not have koopa citizens if he’s KING KOOPA? 

The game looks very bad in most kingdoms, there’s no consistency in art style, there’s a world that is a generic mario beach level, followed by a hyper contrast color world with untextured low poly models copy-pasted on angular cliffsides. No area in the game is visually pleasing outside of New Donk, Bowsers Kingdom, and I guess the Cap Kingdom could have been good if it wasn’t 2 feet long. 

Broodals are a terrible decision, all of the bosses are really boring and unfun in this game but the broodals take the cake. Their designs are bad and you fight them so many times, especially in post game content. They could have just been the koopalings again and i wouldn’t have minded a bit. 

The story is nothing, the story in EVERY single kingdom is unimportant because you can technically skip it by collecting optional moons and fighting none of the bosses, so there’s never any meaningful conflicts, and the ending is like??? Peach is just kinda vaguely upset at bowser, but also isn’t happy with mario, and then they all sort of make up and everyone goes home together? What did they MEAN by this

The music is INCREDIBLY lack luster, especially for mario standards, I cant remember any of the songs off the top of my head other than Wooded Kingdoms theme cus it sounds like a God Hand track. 

The post-game is offensively lazy. The 64 kingdom was cute but Dark and Darker Sides of the moon are 100% asset recycling and nothing actually enjoyable. 

i just don’t care about moons. There’s too many, they’ve lost any impact. I no longer want to collect them all. I grinded coins and cowered to get enough moons to get all the outfits so i could see everything the game had to offer, and IMMEDIATELY i just stopped having any desire to play the game. I will never want to 100% the game, and i find it hard to believe there’s anything even comparable to galaxies 100% rewards.

Lastly where the FUCK is luigi what the fuck. And I mean that genuinely, with how this game controls, i feel like luigi would actually be super tight, his slipperiness would translate to more believable traction, and his higher jumps would offset the ridiculous gravity. If they make a DLC that allows a luigi playthrough I’d likely have to rate this game higher.

So uh... that’s it, just sort of DUMPED thoughts on that one, but yeah, that’s pretty much everything I have to say. If you enjoyed the game, awesome! I hope everyone is able to enjoy stuff, im just really disappointed in my boy mario right now.

[cbspams]

The Boyz - No Air (A Song of Ice and Fire)

These are gonna be super fucking long, just fair warning.

Hello again and welcome to another round of Delphine nitpicking a performance into the oblivion!

Honorable mention to my roommate who desperately despises kpop with all their heart but watched this performance (and the other TBZ performance) with me to help me get some insight on how attuned to GOT the performance was since I've never watched the show or read the books. For reference, they have read the books, watched the tv show and in their free time they listen to extensive opinion pieces and analytical essays on GOT. So I'd personally put their knowledge pretty high, but once again this is like a second hand account so sorry if I get things wrong.

ALRIGHT LETS GET IT!!

First, I wanna talk a bit about the pre-performance clips. I really liked the underwater photography studio idea as a way to feel and show desperation. I personally would need to do something else as I'm not afraid of water but I think that the literal concept of not having air is interesting and a good direction. I'm also really proud of Sunwoo for working so hard despite his fear, and I'm really touched by Younghoon specifically going back into the tank to help. Side note but pufferfish New hehehehe.

I genuinely wish they had used more of the film and photography from the session for the actual performance. I feel like a short pre-performance film would've really elevated the storyline, especially since they're trying to reference GOT which is (as according to the books and the show UP TO where the books ended, yknow, pre-season 8) really, really plot and lore based. Not to dive too deep into the theme yet but I feel as though a lot of TBZ's performances in Kingdom (which are really just this one and then O Sole Mio (Red Wedding) in round 2) aren't really expressing the full extent of their themes.

What I mean by this is that anyone who has read A Song of Ice and Fire (ASIF, pls dont @ me if this is the wrong acronym bc idk??) probably knows that TBZ performance wasn't really based in any events of the book or any themes of it. No Air is a desperate love song and there's plenty of desperation in ASIF but it really feels like TBZ did a mix of inspired by ice and fire (the literal elements) and set in ASIF (physical location markers). According to my roommate, the set pieces are recognizably places in ASIF but the performance didn't really track the themes present in the novel. I'll get to the Red Wedding later as well, but in both performances although TBZ were clearly trying to track some level of GOT's, it feels underdeveloped and therefore to me feels clunky, which is a bit disappointing because TBZ are masters of concepts and executing new ideas. Not sure if this makes sense but I guess if I had to summarize, it would be that they're taking inspiration from the name and title of things rather than the actual source material so it doesn't feel as effect in some ways. STILL, if I consider it operating on the level of just ice and fire rather than by GOT, they did a beautiful job!

Consider this: No Air is originally a bit more of an upbeat rhythm and melody but the way they toned it to be almost kind of in minor key to fit the desperation theme? Whoever's doing arrangement is putting out stuff that's really amazing. On top of that, the drum beats in the baseline add to that same feeling and then to have the turn around where the melody gets softer before the chorus, is a beautiful touch of contrast that really draws together the tender side of a desperate love. And the first chorus feels almost defeated, longing and yearning. I feel like the flow of the music really fit a tragic romance storyline, which I just love about TBZ.

Even with their less than stellar (imo) execution of theme, they're still putting out completely new and incredible ideas. Starting even with the 100 sec performances in which they did the hands thing and now with the POV camera direction, TBZ are taking full advantage of the stage and it's set up, which I cheer at every time I see it. Even the other groups are were picking up their ideas! See Stealer (The Scene) by SF9 in which Zuho "fights" the camera.

ALSO a quick note on the beginning camera work!! They show the frozen zombies (an allusion to the white walkers I assume) and they're completely stiff but then the camera moves towards Juyeon and the woman's arms take off one of his wrist cuffs before turning and you see that the zombies have moved!! And then there's a quick shot that as she's turned around to take off the other cuff, the zombies start to move again. That's a really smart way of setting up the kind of stakes in the moment, that if she doesn't get Juyeon free quickly then she'll be attacked and overtaken and Juyeon will stay trapped. The blocking in this moment is immaculate as far as story telling goes!! I love when the camera contributes to the theme and storyline, very much a show don't tell kind of thing. Love that for them.

The stretch screen is also a really interesting idea! I'm not sure how it correlates to ASIF or their theme necessarily, I think it's more of a performance aspect but literally Juyeon What The Fuck. He's genuinely so talented and it stems from his dedication and hard work. They kind of mention in the pre-performance clips that he's really harsh on himself and cries after performances when they don't do well, but legit I thought he did so, so well here. His expressions were really forlorn at first and once again, those dance moves!! Bro!!

On the topic of expressions, because one of their main themes is desperation, I watched really closely to how they were expressing that with their faces and bodies. I'm judging body language differently, since kpop dances tend to really favor the more hip hop, sharp isolation style and I can't view it like, oh they should've done contemporary dance.

Kevin's opening line gave me goosebumps. The kind of build up in the strings to his cool but forceful voice, mmph. I think Haknyeon's anger is also a really nice touch because desperation may be based in sadness but it's real expression usually comes out in anger. In that last do or die moment, are you cowering and hiding in an attempt to survive or do you fight back? The human body has a natural instinct to thrash around and reach for anything you can when you drown, and it feels like a fight because it is one. So although TBZ is aiming for a sad and tragic love story, because their main theme is what it is, I like that they included different sides from fury to despair. Sunwoo's little head toss back was really good too, both technically and thematically.

Honestly I don't know who choreo'd this but I really liked it. They definitely choreo'd it with the camera in mind, which I mean, everyone did but their was really smooth and easy to flow with. People were walking off camera nonchalantly, as opposed to sprinting off. It's something that ATEEZ had trouble with in the 100 sec performance (in the pre-performance clip) so you can see TBZ experience in performing the live take on the Kingdom stage (which I've mentioned before is a really unconventional type of stage). Plus because the arrangement slows in different places, they have little moments of tragic love as well (like pre-chorus when the camera unblindfolds Hyunjae or post-chorus when Haknyeon, Kevin, Sangyeon, and Jacob hold the lover's hands tenderly), which just emphasizes their desperation! I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot but tbh that just goes to show how in tuned TBZ are with their emotional theme. Another thing is the zombies, which continues the theme from before that they're fighting somehow to stay with their lover or that their time is in danger. Sunwoo dangling over the hoard, like okay. Okay! I see you! Oof, props to you choreographer, props to you.

YOUNGHOON!!! What an actor man, he's got such a diverse range of facial expressions. He really pulls off the kind of empty, forlorn look, ugh. Please get this man a role in a drama, 11/10 would watch. Honestly Juyeon too, please guys I'm too wear for those intense, piercing looks.

That last moment is interesting. It's almost like they're flinging their lover away from the fire, rejecting them so they'll be safe? The explosion in the back honestly doesn't make a lot of sense except as some kind of climactic moment but I don't think they needed it. It doesn't really fit the story they were telling, nor does it set up for their next performance so like. Why lol.

I'm new TBZ and I've been kind of eating up content from them, but especially because I got to know them through RTK, I had really high expectations for them now. I think they're still doing wonderfully, especially between the new creative freedoms Kingdom offers. But I also think they're suffering what I've previously described as the kind of burden to come up with something that fits in the set.

A quick recap: Because RTK had less budget and was smaller, the props and sets were a lot more simple and specific. Each group had to create stories using limited props which forced them to be more technically advanced with their formations, dance moves, arrangements etc. Because Kingdom has more budget and can now create elaborate sets and costumes etc, I think the groups are somehow less diverse and creative here than in RTK. Their technical skill still shines through but it feels like a lot of it gets covered with the sets and stuff.

So like in RTK, TBZ made ample usage of their own bodies to tell stories whereas now it feels like they're not doing that and it makes me sad in some ways because I think that's the appeal of a competition show. That you're allowed to make more story telling with your own body, instead of following pure performance choreography like in normal performances. Something that comes to mind for example is like The Eve from EXO. The song is supposedly about standing up to corruption but the dance is uh. Sexy and honestly not very aligned with the song. So like that's kind of a choreography and performance for the sake of performance. But on RTK, groups were able to have more themed storytelling and TBZ were a master of it, from thieves in Danger to revolutionaries in Reveal. So I'm just a little sad to see that kind of vanish with the budgeting that comes with Kingdom.

Despite all that, I still think TBZ have put on a great performance and it's still really interesting and fun to watch. I hope that their future performances allow them a little more creativity and storytelling with their bodies and techniques, with the set pieces helping enhance that rather than hinder it.