#because im not letting myself do chores today

[lux-scriptum]

since im home unexpectedly today do u guys want me to talk about anything in particular?

[rubiesintherough]

.

[itsmrshamilton]

Kiss it better | LH44

A/n: I've been on a break, but I had this idea, so i thought I'd pop in, post it, then disappear again.

💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌

"Ugh, I can't breathe. I think I'm dying." He moaned.

You rolled your eyes and carried on folding and packing the clothes you'd brought into the bedroom. It was a chilly Sunday morning with grey clouds covering the sky. You wanted to get the chores done quickly so you could make yourself a cup of tea and sit down to work.

Usually, Lewis would be up doing laundry as he enjoyed ironing, but today, he was still in bed moaning and groaning about a stuffy nose he's had since Friday.

"Lewis, I love you, but you've been sick for two days already. Why are you still moaning about this?" You sighed to yourself.

"Because I'm dying! Im suffocating right before your very eyes! You're watching your husband die!" He exaggerated. You could hear him rolling about dramatically in the bed behind you. This grown man.

You packed away the last pair of socks before turning to him with your hands on your hips. He grinned sheepishly at you from his position on the bed. Tattooed arms and legs sprawled out. On his bedside table were piles of cups, bottles of cough syrups, and nose spray bottles. Enough to treat more than one sick person.

"What is with grown men and acting so dramatic about the flu? You're so close to overdosing on cough meds." You pointed out.

"Overdosing? I'm healing myself. I'm doing the best I can to play doctor to myself because my beautiful wife doesn't want to help me." You watched as his lips folded softly into a pout. The dramatics.

"Your beautiful wife spent all night making you tea and clearing your tissues." You reminded him and sat on the bed beside him. His hands immediately went to your waist and pulled you on top of him. You squealed. "Lewis!"

"I just need cuddles to make me feel better. And kisses." He whispered. You propped yourself up on your forearms so you could look down at him. Despite the dark eyebags, red nose, and uncombed hair, he was still the most beautiful man you'd ever seen. He pouted even harder at your hesitation, and you lifted an eyebrow in mock sternness. "Please."

"You're going to get me sick." You sighed but relented and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

"And here," he pointed to his forehead. "Headache"

You pressed a kiss there, too.

"And here." His eyes. "Here too." His cheeks.

"It definitely hurts here." His chin.

You were giggling at this stage. How ridiculous this man was.

"Oh and here. This place really needs a few kisses to make sure it feels better." He puckered his lips and closed his eyes in anticipation.

You laughed at him but proceeded to lean forward and plant multiple kisses on his lips. You were definitely going to be sick after this. His arms tightened around your waist.

"Ah, see! I feel better already!" He rolled you over so he was on top.

"I can tell!" You exclaimed as he started pressing kisses to your neck. "You look well enough to get up and help me with chores." You squirmed in his hold

He immediately deflated and sighed into the crook of your neck. You giggled softly and placed your hands on either side of his head to pull him up to you.

"One last kiss to make you feel better?"

"Yes, please." He murmured before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. You pulled away and pushed his shoulders to get him off you. He groaned in protest.

"Let's go, old man. I've still got the kitchen to do, and then we can cuddle on the couch." You stood up and left the bedroom.

"Can we cuddle naked to make me feel better?" He called out.

"Lewis!"

💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌

Thanks for reading. Be sure to interact before you leave.

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I put req in during the last TT, but it wasn't fulfilled due to what happened to you shortly after. And I don't blame you to be clear! Ive been waiting to resubmit it for next time and now I can! I would like to request an apollo x newly immortal! Wife reader, kinda like a continuation of those wedding night and proposal oneshots. Just something cute where he helps her adjust to immortality/ godhood.

Thanks, and take care! ✌️💋

Hi hun!! omg thank you for being so patient and im so sorry your last tt ask got lost in the storm!!!

❁❁❁❁

"Baby, you know you don't have to do that right?" He's smiling as he snakes a hand around your waist, grinning over your shoulder and meeting your eyes in the mirror.

Your feet shift on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. You look down at your toothbrush held in your hand, halfway through squirting paste on. "I know."

He notices the sadness in your eyes even when they're focused on something else. "Sunshine, what's up?"

You sigh. "You don't know how pointless it all seems now."

"What, all the junk mortals do? Setting alarm clocks and repainting houses and all that?" He nudges your neck with his nose, "It never made sense to me anyway."

"You've never been human, you wouldn't know." Your hand stutters and you set the toothpaste down. Apollo watches as you flick the faucet on and run your brush underneath.

"Are you mad I've made you immortal?" His voice is nervous, lips hesitant to follow through because what if he doesn't want the answer? What if he wants to be selfish and pretend you want it still just so he can keep you?

"No," You decide honestly, pausing to speak before shoving your brush in your mouth, "I just miss the little things."

Apollo stares at you curiously in the mirror as you stubbornly brush your teeth, a chore that could be avoided with a flick of the hand.

"Like?" He asks as you spit.

"Mmm.." Your head tilts and he chases it with a kiss to the cheek before standing tall and hugging your body tighter to his chest. "Laundry. I used to hate it, it takes forever and it's boring and sometimes I'd leave baskets for weeks just to avoid it. But today I went in our closet and my clothes were just... there. And I don't even have to put them on myself or wash them or fold them, they're already perfect all the time."

"And that's an issue?" He's genuinely confused, blonde eyebrows rolling in waves as he considers this.

"My mom spent hours teaching me how to do my laundry. She used to yell at me when I refused to do it. She put so much effort in the task of me having clothes ready and someday I'll forget how to even do it because she'll be dead and so is my need to do anything myself."

Your face is nearly unreadable in the mirror, your gaze on the tap as you rinse your brush until Apollo tugs your chin to face him with a thumb and forefinger.

"You don't want to outlive anyone." He knows it in the tremble of your lashes and the bite marks on your lips. You're anxious of being alone with only him as company and he could let it hurt his feelings but he doesn't. He can't outshine you anymore, even if he tried and he wouldn't want to in the first place.

"I don't know how to... I can't let go of myself, Apollo. My humanity is all I am, I don't know what I would be without my imminent mortality."

Your eyes are pinched and full of fear. You need answers, and he doesn't have them. But you also need familiarity and he can give you that.

"Honey," He gives you a chaste kiss, featherlight touch finding your hands as he pulls you to the bedroom, "You're still you. You just have more time."

You follow him with a furrowed expression as he sets you on the bed.

"Close your eyes." You raise an eyebrow and he makes a pleading face so you comply. "Open."

First, all you note is his body heat next to you and then you notice two laundry baskets full of clothes almost as warm as him.

He's giving you a sheepish smile, legs criss-crossed as he sits next to them. "Would you want to teach me? I can't do all this myself.."

You laugh, loud and unbroken as tears spring to your eyes. Apollo nearly tumbles off the bed when you launch yourself across the baskets at him. "I'd love to."

You face squishes against his, letting you feel the giddy grin that takes over him. He knows that humans are patchwork, messy and rushed and full of longing and while he may never understand (TOA say what), he hopes you never loose that part of you. It's what he first fell in love with after all.

[velvetjune]

Incredible findings with the new photo mode feature of Alan Wake 2 (full text below)

Full text:

Back of book:

BE EXTREMELY SERIOUS!

In this "Camden Gazette Bestseller" nominated masterpiece, seriousness coach, motivational speaker, and startup founder James Hawken explains how having too much fun can lead to a life of sadness. Using his proven "Fun Free" technique, James will teach you how to laugh less, frown more, and become the serious presence our world today desperately needs.

Do you miss the tumbleweeds drifting across the plaines of your existence because those fields are now occupied by loud, obnoxious fun seekers and party-goers? Look no further. "No More Fun" is a scientifically supported, no-nonsense approach to empirical seriousness and a drier, more arid lifestyle.

With "No More Fun" Hawken provides the most complete, practical guide available for a truly serious lifestyle and will show YOU how to get those pesky, playing kids and colorful balloons off the lawn of your life for good!

BECOME A NO FUNNER!

Pages of book:

-worrying that you don't have the fortitude necessary to pursue the No Fun Life. Perhaps you fret that you have spent too much of your life chasing joyful pursuits and have thus glutted the receptors of your brain beyond the capacity for seriousness, like an elastic waistband slackened by years of overindulgent meals. But fear not, gentle reader, even the biggest roller coaster junkies and EDM drop chasing neer-do-wells can still find the ability within themselves to reject “The F Word.” The mind's capacity for seriousness is not an elastic waistband; it's a muscle, and just like a muscle, we can get it back in shape.

So let’s hit the seriousness gym together and turn that fun-loving flab into a muscular love of drab! I will share some examples from my own life of exercises that have been helpful for me in times of the threat of levity.

A few months ago, l was riding my bicycle to the police station to deliver my weekly “Civilian Watch” notes. As my usual route was under construction (the disruptive noise from which | had been certain to mention in my C.W. notes) I was obliged to take an alternative route through the public park adjacent to the police station. This, Im sure you know I take no pleasure in telling you, was a minefield of potential amusements. There were playgrounds with laughing children, dogs chasing tying disks fung carelessly by their owners, joggers enjoying physical activity in garishly colored stretch fabrics... For someone not vigilantly committed to seriousness, such an environment could incite smiles at any moment.

Pulling my tweed jacket tightly about my torso and affixing my best stern look to my face, I began my bike ride past all the ambling, capering, joyful souls engaged in their toxic frivolity with the intent of trying to model - and hopefully inspire - good, serious behavior. But as I rode, turning up my nose at the toddler feeding day old croissants to the ducks, something began to happen. I felt myself movin faster than my gentle pedaling could account for. I felt the wind tugging at the pullstrings of my cycling bonnet. Yes, dear reader, I had accidentally found myself suddenly descending a hill.

As any student of seriousness will recognize, a bicycle and a hill when paired together represent a dangerous combination - It is a razors edge away from the alchemical recipe for whimsy. One misstep could find the predictable, reliable chore of reaching one's destination inadvertently transformed into an enjoyable leisure activity. This is where my seriousness exercises kicked in. I reminded myself that nothing would be gained in reaching my destination sooner - I was not meeting friends, I was not attending some sort of fun fair or cinema - it was work I was going to do at the police station as a member of the Civilian (albeit volunteered, unasked for work, as the Civilian Watch was a creation of my devising, but work all the same).

Next, I used all my will power to ignore anything remotely amusing about the situation, and instead focused on the drudgery or tedium therein. The wind blowing my hair was not a pleasant experience that reminded me of my childhood; it was merely a means for bugs to spatter across my safety goggles and to become ensnared in my pomade. The increased speed from the downward slope was not a relaxing respite from the rest of the ride; it was the potential for danger and a need to apply the brakes so as to not risk injury to myself, others, or public property.

However, ignoring and re-contextualizing are not the only tricks in my anti-fun toolbox. I also highly recommend devising a list of potential Mental Distractions. Think of these as exercises or small tasks, designed to use as much mental activity as possible. Doing them wil fill your "brain space" and crowd out any intrusive "Fun" thoughts. "What sorts of exercises?" did I hear you ask? Well fear not, dear reader, I was about to enumerate a few examples! (Even if that wasn't what you were asking, I still suggest you continue reading.)

The first of my personal favorite Mental Distractions is list recitation. Any sort of list will do, but we must make sure to have a distinct order schema for extra effective results. For example, you could recite the names of your local Chamber of Commerce committee members in order of their seniority. Or your favorite cereal mueslis in descending order of their Daily Fiber. By not only listing, but ranking it will occupy even more "brain space."*

Another excellent Metal Distraction is visualizing your family tree - not as a literal tree mind you, as such frivolous imagery both destructive to the psyche and counter-productive to the intention of the exercise! Once you have carefully mind-mapped your parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, grand-uncles, grand-aunts, great-uncles, second-cousins and so forth you can then proceed to systematically eliminating member according to who in your family has died until only the living remain. It becomes particularly effective if you also remember the specific way in which each family member has passed. This exercise not only focuses the mind, it doubles as a helpful reminder for what medical screenings or checkups you should request at the doctor's office.

At a recent dinner party I used my sianature "Color Renaming" exercise. In this, I visualize a box of children's crayons. If you’re not familiar, many companies who create such writing implements will often give “amusing” names to the colors. For example, naming the blue after the sky or some songbird or some other frivolity. In this exercise, it is now your turn to be the crayon namer as you ascribe serious, sensible names to the color. Instead of “Macaroni and Cheese,” orange could be named “Biowaste Disposal Container Orange.” “Cornflower Blue” becomes “Heart Pressure Medication Blue.” And so forth.

*Editor’s Note: In the first edition of this book the author wrote “Bran Space” which we thought was a joke. He would like to assure readers it was a “typographical error with no nods towards levity whatsoever”.

[elliespeach]

i'll be home soon | ellie williams angst

an. this is very short, around 800 words, and very angsty. this is a remake of one of my older fics from 2016 because i can't bring myself to write anything else i am at a road block im sorry if this is not that great but i wanted to give yall something!

warnings: ellie death, blood and gore, all around sad vibes

ellie rolled over, heaving the dead clicker off of her body. she groaned as she did, the pain in her stomach overcoming her and she looked down to examine it. any bite mark she could survive, but she wasn’t immune from being ripped apart. her stomach was badly wounded, the clicker had taken a chunk out of her abdomen leaving it jagged and gushing blood. ellie tried using her hands to cover her injury but it kept bleeding profusely and she cursed herself for letting this happen. 

she knew she didn’t have a lot of time, that she would bleed out before anyone could come and rescue her. she had patrolled alone today, the section she was assigned to was an easy one but the clicker jumped her and her efforts to save herself only prolonged her inevitable fate. her backpack only a few feet away began to utter muffled words, but she could recognize your voice anywhere. 

dragging herself to the backpack she shuffled through it for the radio and was able to make out the last few of your words. “...ellie can you check in?” your voice so clear through the radio almost made all the pain go away. ellie’s world stopped and for a moment she forgot her predicament, the only thing in the world that truly comforted her was you. 

ellie breathed your name into it with a weak smile on her face, she rolled onto her back, the radio gripped in her hand. “i’m fine, don’t worry about me.” she spoke, using every ounce of energy to sound coherent but in reality her world was shifting and her vision was going fuzzy. 

“are you almost done? we have a date tonight you know and it’s getting late,” you joked into the radio from jackson. you weren’t on patrol today, taking the day off to do some chores around the house you and ellie shared. you liked it this way, although you wished ellie wouldn’t go out so often. 

“y-yes baby, i know about our date,” ellie contemplated her words, holding in her bloody coughs to keep you from worrying. ellie didn’t want the last time you spoke to be frantic, she knew no matter how fast anyone got here, she was a goner. “i’m – i’m gonna be home real soon, okay?” 

“are you okay? you sound weir–”

“do you remember our first date?” ellie laughed into the radio, her stomach was on fire but she concentrated hard on the memory. “we snuck into the abandoned building in town–” 

“and we made a fort,” you recalled, smiling at the small radio in your hands. oblivious to your girlfriend’s distraction tactic. “what did you call it again?” 

“castle fort,” ellie chuckled at the name and you did too, making her smile. “we should go back there someday.” 

“yeah, we should.” you leaned back in your chair, your eyes wandering to the clock in front of you. “when did you say you’ll be back, i miss youuu.” 

“i'll be home soon, baby i promise. i’ll make it to our date, don't you worry,” she paused, the gaping hole in her stomach begging to be treated. she bit down on her lip to keep from groaning in pain. “can you wear that pretty dress i like? the floral one?” 

“ellie, were just watching a movie.” you rebutted, twirling a pen around your fingers. “speaking of, maria spoiled it for me so don’t get attached to the blonde kid.” 

“i told you maria s-spoils everything, and i know, but you look so beautiful in it,” ellie begged, “please? for me?” 

you sighed into the radio and ellie imagined you smiling at the compliment as you always did. “if it makes you happy, sure babe. i’ll wear it but we need to actually watch the movie.” 

“you got it, pretty girl.” ellie’s pain reduced to a numbed stinging and her mind was beginning to feel foggy. she felt tired, so tired and she fought to keep her eyes open as they began to well up at the idea of never seeing you again. 

“go finish what you gotta do, i’ll talk to you when you get back.” your voice sounded so angelic over the static in the radio and ellie had to use all her strength to respond. 

“okay, i love you. i love you so much,” she breathed out,still holding back her tears, the pain was almost gone now and her vision was going black. 

“i love you,” your words rang in ellie’s ears as the radio fell from her hands and landed in the blood that had pooled around her. her mind was repeating the phrase as her eyes closed, feeling the tiredness melt away until she felt nothing anymore. her last thought was of you, all smiley and bubbly wearing that dress she loved so much. 

[princesseusminki]

Homeless | Park Seonghwa

Chapter one.

I wrote this fanfic based on a manhwa that got me inspired because it was full of angst, and Im sucker for that genre. Anyway leave like and follow my page ♡

Walking on the way home from my barely enough survived convenient part-time job when there he was, i saw him crouching on the steep cold road outside the front terrace house gate. Is this man a lunatic? Who would sit outside in this kind of weather? On top of that, it looks like a grown fully capable adult man. He probably drunk so I partake my way into the house and suddenly he looks at me, ew creep. But what caught me was his eyes looking helpless and distraught. Guilt creeped me in, "Sir are you alright? It's cold out here", Yeah no darn kidding. "don't think it's good idea sitting here", While fought to compel my friendly tone asking him. And looking above the sky. It's 25th December today. Speck of snows hindered on the sky. Lovely.

Next things, I realised he collapsed hardly on the road. Oh lord, you got to be kidding me. I just got back from my deranged work. Obviously I couldn't leave him outside in this state before i decided to drag him inside and put him on my bed. Im not a sick pervert. Lord, how many days does he being in this situation? Ragged, unwashed and dirty.

I helped remove his clothes before he catch any flu from this weather. Then, the bruises and scratches caught onto my sight. What did this man do? *cough* *cough* wait he's awake. "water..." huh what is it I cannot hear him speaks clearly. "Water...." He wants water. So i grab a glass of water immediately and helped him get up before pass on the glass. He chugged the water rapidly. "Sir do you live nearby here ? Apologise for intruding your privacy but I had to remove your clothes earlier and could not help but realised there are...." I stopped myself ahead before continuing "bruises everywhere". He didn't look shocked nor surprised. "Let me stay here" I looked at him confused and slightly annoyed. "Look I only helped you here because it was out of human decency and not expecting something else, you're a grown man—". "I am male escort" That still doesn't explain why he got it ? Im confused here. "Please..." he looked at me pleadingly and exhausted. "I'll help you around with the house chores, I won't be a burden.." His eyes glistening with tears. What possibly had he endured all this time? "Fine, but tell me your name"

"Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa"

[antigonick]

hey hey pauline, how do you manage to read so Much? im relieved that my uni syllabi force me to read, but also resent the fact that well. i don’t read much because of those syllabi either.

i realize that the algorithmic internet and burnout have smoothed my brain and i need to work on putting the wrinkles back but MAN. i miss being curious, or rather, being able to effectively and patiently explore that curiosity. art and learning are everywhere and i have to have faith that this is a relearnable skill (!!!!) but. yk. woeee is meee i love books when did they get so difficult

I don't read nearly enough anymore either. I do write a lot more, so I guess that's a plus, but reading-wise I'm in the fucking pit with no end in sight. I finished my PhD a year and a half ago and I don't think I've read more than... five? Books for fun since then? I'm curious, I'm excited, I buy books, but I find myself putting them down and not finishing them; those that are useful for my research, my translation work or the lessons I create I treat emptily and efficiently, as academics do, focusing on the parts I need instead of engaging with the whole, which is frustrating and feels empty because a text is a system and I'm necessarily missing out if I pick and choose. As you say for your syllabi—I'm almost relieved to have had mandatory reading for my studies this year because I simply had to read this shit, and I loved doing it, and I was so relieved to see I could still do it, but I only managed it by sticking to hard deadlines, giving myself rigid reading timeslots, page-goals, etc. You have to finish this by the end of the week—today you must read 50 pages and you're not moving your ass off this chair until you reach it. That's the only solution I can give you, and that helps me, since after a day of work I end up reaching for passive brain-off activities instead of books if I don't discipline myself. Let go of the resentment and take everything you can from what you do manage to read. I don't know how sustainable that is either, considering this all speaks of burnout but crawling out of the burnout by making reading a task is an easy slide into making it even more of a chore. My other working alternative has been to pick up books I don't care much about but are entertaining all the same—no pressure to engage with nuanced underlayers, with complex stylistic devices, no expectations and thoughtful critique, just fast-food thriller or horror or crime books that coax me into at least reading spontaneously and show to myself that I can finish a book by choice. Sometimes. Oh, and shorts—one poem a day if you can, one poem a week if you forget. I'm thinking of coming back to audio books too—can't take notes on them, which I dislike, but in transport and on walks it might be a better alternative than nothing.

Not sure this answer is anything else than a bummer BUT. Yeah. I hope some of those work for you ❤️

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[screampied]

hii vegas, how was your day today? are you alright? i’ve been following you for some time, now, and i was wondering if i could ask you some questions. as a new author on tumblr, i’ve been growing a lot recently and it’s kinda scary. please, only answer if comfortable.

so, how long have you had this blog or started posting in it? how did you react to your first 1k post or those going even higher? hate messages affect you? did you ever went through writer’s block and how did you fixed it, if so? does posting ever started to feel like it’s a chore, and not a hobby?

thank you for your time, i hope this finds you well, xoxo.

( 🥯 )

hiiii bagel !!! 💓😽 my day was good ‘n busy i hope yours was okay. sure of course ask awaay

i’ve had this blog for about nine months now! i had it since like october / november but i started posting around late october ‘till the end of novemeber. i wasn’t rly as consistent bc i didn’t know what i was doing 🫡 i started posting frequently around maybe december. when my first post got 1k i was shocked bc i didn’t think people would like it :’)) it was a gojo fic i believe and it was also my first request from one of my moots (ily bella <3) but yah !! as of now i try not to pay attention to big notes bc it can interfere with the joys of writing. like, writing isn’t meant to be competitive

i do get hate messages 🧍it’s every once and a while though. well i wouldn’t say hate, more like really stupid asks. like as of recent. i never answer hate anons because to be honest i really don’t give a fuck. i’m just here to write and it’s never that serious and you’re not gonna disrespect me on my blog and my space. i rather let them talk to themselves instead of feeding into negative energy. people say lotssss of shit in my inbox that is mainly … not nice but i just block and move on. to deal with this—i’d say to just to block / delete and pay them no mind. i wish them well at the end of the day 🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️ this is the internet and people are always gonna say the craziest things, but just ignore it! do you <3

i go through writers block all the time actually 🧎‍♀️to counter it, i just stop writing completely or read novels + that usually helps me. or i just sleep it off ‘n come back to it later. i try to avoid forcing myself to write while i’m on writers block because it’ll make it worse. but it’s all about pacing yourself !

it used to feel like a chore for me, especially a few months ago but now i write for myself! i find it easier to post without feeling pressured, requests make me really pressured but i answer them on my own time 🧚🏽‍♀️ plus, i don’t have a writing schedule because it wouldn’t feel like a hobby. i post whenever im motivated + feel like it !!! 🩷

[rabbitenn]

may i get trigger sick/comfort hcs? im sick rn and would love for them to take care of me 🤒 thank you! 🙏

IN THE MEANTIME.

You’ve fallen ill and your boyfriend’s care is more effective than any medicine.

ft. Yaotome Gaku, Kujo Tenn, Tsunashi Ryunosuke x gn! reader.

cw/genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, soft boyfriends.

hey nonnie, i hope you get well soon and that this can comfort you a little, dear <3 take care and rest 🩷 the boys from TRIGGER are here for you, mwah !

♡ YAOTOME GAKU

— Big softie. For all his impressive and seemingly intimidating exterior, he’s an absolute gentleman.

— Even though he thinks you look so adorable all tucked in bed clutching onto the covers, cheeks warm, he doesn’t want to see you sick :( and you bet he’s doing all he can to make it better.

— He would be the type to come straight from work to you, with tasty soba from his mother’s shop and any snack he knows you love.

— “Gaku, I can feed myself.” You insist, unable to avoid the chuckle that escapes your parched lips, even if you’re trembling in a cold sweat.

“You need to rest, darling.” Your lover chuckles, taking your hand in his, as he prompts you to recline against the soft pillows. “Let me take care of you for today.” He utters, wiping warm liquid away from your lips. You swear, he makes your cheeks heat up even more than your fever.

“Fine…” You pout, flustered, as your bleary eyes get lost in his tender expression.

— Did you have house chores to do? Well, you have none anymore, your boyfriend takes care of everything: laundry, the dishes, cooking, or ordering your favorite takeout, you don’t have to worry about anything.

— Gaku somewhat knows how to play guitar, so if you’re really bored or feeling too weak to actually get out of bed and do anything, he’ll play your favorite songs for you.

— Watching him focused like this, black t-shirt leaving his strong arms uncovered, perfectly contrasting against his fair skin, silvery strands gracefully falling over his face… it’s enough for you to fall into sweet dreams when exhaustion finally takes over, a welcome respite from the fitful and restless nights prior.

— If you’re feeling up to it, he’ll watch a movie with you. Even if you insist you guys shouldn’t cuddle so close like this, because “What if you get sick too, Gaku…” You whine, cheeks still flushed from your fever, one of his big sweaters on you, leaving one of your shoulders slightly uncovered.

“Then you’ll take care of me, won’t you, my love?” He smiles, placing a loving kiss to your forehead, as his arms circle your waist, pulling you onto his lap.

“Of course I would… but that’s not the point here!” You complain, as your boyfriend peppers your face with kisses.

“I’ll be fine, [Y/n].” He assures, caressing your hair. “Besides, I want to spend time with you.”

“You’re too sweet, dear.” You sigh, leaning against his toned chest, too tired to argue any further.

As long as he can hold you in his protective embrace and care for you now, he’s happy. No matter the consequences (even though he can already picture Tenn’s cat-like scowl if he comes down with a fever too).

♡ KUJO TENN

— The instant he gets home and hears coughing, Tenn’s heart drops. He’s spent most of his childhood watching as his brother became prey of a respiratory illness that kept him confined to a hospital bed more often than not.

— Your boyfriend’s first instinct is to run to you, he really is scared that you have something severe, even though his way of showing concern is through stating “You should take better care of yourself.” at first.

— “I’ll be fine, my love.” You tell him, trying for a smile that turns into another fit of coughing. “I just need to take some medicine… I’ll be home tonight after work…”

— A soft yet strong hand grips your arm. “No, you’re not going anywhere, [Y/n].” Tenn orders, firmly. “You’re burning up and that coughing doesn’t sound good.”

— “It’s just a cold, Tenn…” You try to retort, weakly.

— “I said no.” He insists, making you sit on the couch, as he joins you. With tender touches despite his incisive words, your lover gently wraps around your neck the scarf he was wearing. “If you keep pushing yourself like this, you’ll make it worse.” His hands find yours, squeezing them, a plea disguised by his sharp tone.

“But you do just that all the time…” you mumble with a pout.

“That’s besides the point now.” Is his quick reply, as he averts his gaze to the side, cherry blossom pinks creeping to his cheeks.

“You’re so cute.” You chuckle, it ending up in more coughing.

“Rest for now, please, my [Y/n].” Your boyfriend prompts, his hands resting on your shoulders, as he helps you lay down on the sofa, making sure you’re well tucked into a warm blanket.

— Tenn 100% prepares comfort food for you. Whatever it is your favorite meal, he’ll make it: soup, pancakes, waffles, omurice, cookies, you name it. When he and his brother were little, he tried to make pancakes for the latter, so you can be sure he’s doing the same for you (yes, even if he burns himself or gets stains on his favorite clothes, he loves you and cares for you too much).

— You try to convince him to not come close, to no avail, by the way.

“Since you couldn’t take care of yourself, let me stay like this with you, please.” Tenn utters, his forehead against yours, eyes of sunset clouds fluttering closed, moonrise lashes resting against his cheeks, as he stays close to you.

— “But what if you get si-“

“That won’t stop me from giving a perfect performance.”

That and your defeated sigh are the end of the discussion.

— And since he’s staying with you anyway, you just need to tug on his sleeve and stare up cutely at him to get the one thing that always manages to bring you comfort at times like these (aside from the warmth of his presence next to you, that is).

— With a knowing smile, dark crimson eyes gentle, your angel takes your hand in his, his voice singing for you alone. No matter if it was on or off stage; for a huge crowd or just in the intimacy of your shared room, to you, Tenn always shined brighter than the sun.

♡ TSUNASHI RYUNOSUKE

— Panics a little at first. He just can’t stand the thought of you being unwell.

— However, in the same way he does for his teammates when they fight, Ryu knows he has to be strong for you.

— He’s like the gentle sunlight on an early summer evening by the sea, so honestly, he’s one of the best guys out there when it comes to caring for someone else.

— Having grown up with his younger brothers, he’s no newbie at tending to others’ health.

— And just like his two friends, he’s not one to be deterred by your claims of “Ryu, please, I love you, but don’t come too close, I don’t want you to catch it too…”

“Nonsense, my dear.” He tells you, gentleness lacing his tone. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I couldn’t take care of my partner when they need it?” His strong hand reaches up to cradle your cheek, and you can’t help but lean into his comforting touch.

“But you have work… I can’t allow for you to get sick too because of me…” You murmur, lips pouty.

“I’ll take care of the both of us, [Y/n].” Your lover vows, with a kiss to your knuckles.

For all he denies his constructed image of sensual charm, he certainly does make your heart flutter, you think, entranced by the smoothness of his tanned skin, his silky-looking hair making you want to run your fingers through the chestnut hued strands.

— Ryunosuke is amazing at cooking! (malewife fr /lh), so you bet you’re eating like royalty today (he always treats you like royalty, though, he’s the biggest sweetheart ever).

— I can definitely envision him cooking a dish from his hometown in Okinawa, rich in flavor and aroma, comforting, like a sunny childhood memory shared with a loved one.

— He’s shyer than Gaku (yes, Gaku, we know you’re a shy boy too) so he won’t really offer to feed you. It’s so endearing, you think, the way your boyfriend still blushes when you compliment his cooking or show him affection, even if you’ve already been dating for a while.

— He really just wants to see you smile, and help you make your recovery faster and less arduous. Watching dramas or comedies being one of the pastimes Ryu enjoys, you pick one together.

— You huddle on his bed, cozy blankets strewn around as you sit in between his legs. A comforting warmth begins to settle all around you, so different from the suffocating sensation of your feverish state, while you share an indoorsy evening full of soft laughter and tenderness.

[avocadoraisin]

hello

its me again

[carmenthabaddie]

New wigs 💖💖💖💖

I am a real bitch and money is coming and ignoring my problems and circumstances and my current reality. I deserve to shine. I know my worth and put myself first and others last. Love my 3 new wigs. Upgrading my look. I’m high ass fuck. I take accountability for my life and decisions.

Planned my day night before in digital planner. And will be productive and busy. Doing laundry and other chores. I know my worth. It’s my time to shine. Black women deserve success and happiness and need making excuses for black men. Most black men are a disappointment to us. I am staying single no kids until I meet a high value man who is provider, protector , lover, friend, reliable . Done with bottom feeder men. Spirit and ancestors want me to speak my shit and shit on my haters all day everyday. Ladies remember your worth and let go of anyone who questions or lowers your worth. No one will lower my worth and question my worth.

I’m only concerned about getting ahead. Real ass bitch. Putting in that work and getting quick results that last. The level up glow up for the women who are honest and take accountability for they life. And doesn’t pass judgement cause they too busy living they life. It’s my time to shine. Real bitches love me. Everything I want I get no questions asked. David will be my husband and support my dreams. And be proud of my glow up. He will be my other half. Never hurt me always honest and true. I can manifest anything and anyone. My thoughts create. What I assume manifests. It’s my time to shine.

No one can stop my greatness. It’s my time to shine. And get lifted and higher and speaking my shit. Damn I’m fine. I’m a rich hoe. I look mad good. I’m a hood bitch. Laughing at my enemies all day everyday. I know my fucking worth. I’m so damn pretty naked. Gone keep intermittent fasting and one meal day. And diet drinks and water and low calorie hot chocolate. And workout on my treadmill and stationary bike multiple times a day. Outfits and gym clothes put out night before. And vlogging my level up glow up journey more often and stop procrastinating or feeling im not ready to vlog. Vlog not gone record itself. I gots to record and schedule and plan upload days. Im going hard. My reality is changing because I said so. Money falling in my lap. Im going viral period. More likes on this blog.

I love and accept myself and it’s all about me. Hoes hate cause I’m a savage and I hold myself accountable for my life. No one can do it for me. Dark skin women are beautiful and should be celebrated more often. Whatever I want he buys. He only has eyes on me. I don’t care what people think of me and my life choices. I make life choices for me and not peoples approval and validation. It’s my time to shine. I’m worth every dollar. I have came so far and blessed and loved and highly protected by spirit and my black ancestors. My pussy gets wet when he worships me. Women specifically black women are the prize.

Today will be good. I’m getting shit done. I’m putting in work. It’s my time to shine. I’m in no rush I don’t have to change overnight it takes effort and consistency over a period of time. I’m so rich and famous and not afraid to say no and leave when people don’t treat me how I treat them. Lord Baal and ancestors and Lord Ganesha is sending me so much money and opportunities and helping me overcome obstacles.

How I look? 💖💖💖

[dumblemonchickenwing]

mother, vent

my mother walks in when im working, demands i do chores when i have full work day, bc i work from home.

And today she walked in, saw me having a mic, and said : "Grab a paper or text and read out loud to me right now, in your usual voice."

I wasn't in the mood to hear her mocking my voice , because she always does it and shows disgust, and my work day started, I said : "I'm busy at work."

And she said : "Fine, do you want me to stop talking to you, like I stopped talking with your dad?"

And I didn't want any anger / punishment from her so I tried to explain "Right now is literally work."

And she replied "As if you work hard." Before leaving she told me sth but I forgot.

________

I do dishes every day or I ll face her resentment, despite me having full time job, and doing dishes takes away 1-2 hours from my work (i wash dishes after 5 people). And she always berates me and says how bad I am. She's disappointed in me. And it's even when I work full time, and take away my job time to do chores. I do my siblings bed because he leaves for work without doing his bed. And me forgetting to do bed once was enough for my mother to say to me how I let myself go and how disappointing I am.

_____

And I didn't forget how I'd get shouted at because I don't earn as much as they wish I did. How I was shamed for not starting entrepreneurship.

The one who d start shouting was father. And when sibling walked in and annoyed ask "what's going on?" And dad says smiling "yes I am acting out" mockingly .

I give them money, i do chores, i do my brother's bed and other things, and I always see disgust thrown my way and hear how gross I am, how upsetting and hurtful I am.

And if i don't act friendly once, I am told how abusive I am. If I try to say I'm busy, i hear threats thrown at me.

[truelove-cafe]

HELLO !! For the ask game !!

Venus(because !!! Venus!!!), Jupiter, Neptune !

HI!!!! youre so silly hdbddh

venus - unfortunately.. i am a bit of a jealous person. i do get jealous easily, but i dont usually let it get in the way of my darling because i dont want them to feel like they cant live their life how they would enjoy it. so yes, i am easily jealous, simply in a more inward / isolating fashion

jupiter - (i took three tests for this just to make sure..) i think i accept all kinds of love, and enjoy giving all kinds of love.. giving is specifically words of affirmation, quality time, touch, and gifts. i love to write letters, make playlists, listen to my darling talk.. all of that. as for specific love i enjoy receiving.. hmm. words of affirmation is big for me, i love being told how appreciated and special i am. people can make me melt with a few words if they know what theyre doing hsnsnsn,,, also quality time. spending time talking to each other and getting to know each other is important to me. as for acts of service, i love to give that, but when it comes to my person, i hate to have them do things for me, even if they choose it. i prefer doing chores or cooking together. so its still quality time to me, just getting things done with each other

neptune - oooo a ramble space, eh? muhe you signed up for more yapping..

when it comes to my darling.. i dont actually have one yet technically, but there is someone (blinks) that i would like to be officially my darling after some time spent getting to know each other and being close. honestly it depends on her and her comfort, because that and what they think is very important to me. however i do adore them so much already, and i appreciate every second spent talking. even when im being awkward and terrible at flirting and keep forgetting what im about to say /silly

hmm i dunno what else to ramble about ): maybe umm,, well. im thinking about playing sims, minecraft, or stardew tonight!! i love those games so much. also my mother just came home which is good, but now i must hide in my room for other reasons. today has been really good though, i think. props to you, casanova, for providing the most pleasant distraction when i was a bit upset bdhdhdhfhd AEHEHSHSHDHF guys i swear.. im normal..

if i do play minecraft im not sure which world ill play, i dont really have any im interested in playing by myself. maybe ill play dbd more muhehehe okay im done now promise

[wewontdieunbloomed]

this is part two of unlearning the bad things i unconsciously learnt from last year.

part one was the negative default pessimism i fall in to, which i keep calling it me being emo which means i dwell in my “misery” for far too long, instead of trying to think of something positive to get myself moving out of the bad zone i am in. as we are often told, sadness and negativity gets comforting, it feels like you are protecting yourself. but one cannot see beauty in life and find joy for oneself if one does not make oneself vulnerable.

and so making myself vulnerable is what ive been doing. trying to romanticise this state that im in, a liminal space, at crossroads. its not the most ideal, too many things are unknown and for the first time in my life im dealing with having barely any structure to my days, with nothing to do yet so much i should do.

it took me quite a while to stop lamenting this unknown and start returning to the foundations i built this blog and my entire philosophy off, the whole concept of “lest we die unbloomed” of making sure i dont realise one day ive wasted my time. and in small parts i like to think ive made progress on that

the focus now is the second part. i lost a lot of my attention span and impulse control, and today i reached a horrible point where i am sitting on the kitchen floor at 9 with no dinner, having ruined my microwave dinner out of a lack of common sense. i am not sure if all this recent muddling is because of covid brain fog or the horrifying amount of screen time i have had recently, but i was so sick of it. i have done a lot of things on impulse recently, and though today i had a really fulfilling day spending time with people i havent in a long time, when i got home and im back to reality of the things i havent done and been procrastinating for too long on, i felt horrible. this need to change, i realised.

so this is part two. it calls back to one of the values i set as something important to myself, being honest with myself. i know what im doing now is not working. i know that even though i use my planner im not sticking to it. i know my todo lists are not helping me. then why do i stubbornly stick to methods i know dont work? i told myself a year ago i would not change my system if it doesnt need to be changed. i have forgotten that i need to change it when it does. how silly! so im changing.

so in the last 2 hours in order to get myself up ive written todo lists on paper instead of in my journal. used a timer for every single step from shower to sweeping the floor to brushing my teeth. enough lazing around and letting simple things occupy too much time. its a parkinsons law thing.

enough doomscrolling and opening instagram when i have nothing to do. im setting a limit for a block of time in the day where i am not allowed to use social media, pwrhaps not any internet at all. i need to make drastic change, even if it seems inconsequential. it might not be academic but its personal. and my personal life and what i want to do with my time is worth taking big measures for, because it should be more important than all that revision for exams i used to do.

so the point f this ramble is to clear things out with myself. make some sense of whats goijg on. have a direction. tomorrow i have an interview. ill come home and do the chores i have to. prepare for my afternoon activity. go for lunch and my afternoon appointment. go for a run. buy dinner. write my applications. research on uni stuff. read a book. and all the other tint things i need to give more importance to even though they seem inconsequential. it sa new mantra ive gotten into ever since part one of this. that “this is the way” this is the new way. enough lazing. its time to go hard and be rurhless. take things up a notch because when else can i do it? go big from experiences to measures i have to take to discipline myself. this is the way.

04.04.2023