#because no one ever seeks it
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*girl who is not doing well at all voice* I should rewatch Pride and Prejudice (2009)
#i am deeply unloved and it is my fault#the people i consider friends do not want to see me or hang out with me#they say they do to my face but they don't reach out. they don't come when i invite them.#the people i considered my family never text. they don't call. they don't reply when i reach out.#i must be so annoying. it must be so hard to enjoy my company.#because no one ever seeks it#i am so so so unloved and it has to be me#my own mother doesn't like me#my sister tolerates me#my father forgets i exist#and people will contradict this with their words but not their actions#i have heard ''i miss you so much!'' from people and then i made plans with them the next week#and they always say they can't#i say ''okay let me know!''#and they never do#because they don't think about me#because my company must be so. bothersome.#at best i am good in small doses#i stopped trying with those people#today i saw them all and I didn't make plans#for what?#it's been years of this pattern#but today i really saw how little i mean to them#negativity //
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“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when
#mu qing xie lian hua cheng and Ling Wen in a San FranTokyo court of law needs to happen#Hua Cheng is the guy who became a lawyer to chase a boy. he would be a defense attorney too#Xie Lian is a lawyer because of his natural strong sense of justice and he would probably be a prosecutor too based on his track record#it’s not a perfect parallel but you know what I mean#xie lian is still so phoenix wright by nature but hes just a prosecutor now. they both have survived a multitude of near-death experiences#Hua cheng plays a natural game where he only bites back if something is worth his time and doesnt usually seek trouble.#therefore hes the most ruthless defense attorney you've ever seen. he would update the autopsy report#you could also argue that xie lian would still be a defense attorney if you consider the way phoenix uncovers truth within his defense#and then ends up sending someone else to jail in the end. which happens very often#mu Qing started off as a prosecutor but Xie Lian said he would be a better defense attorney and he was right#Feng Xin is the. uh. bailiff. or something#judge jun wu#Ling wen is like the final boss of witnesses. that brocade immortal scene where xie lian absolutely fakes her tf out is so iconic#unless ling wen is gumshoe just much much less silly goofy#does anybody have that one edgeworth art where its. i ask the witness a question. i press them. they lie. they go to hell#if you do PLEASE dm me im begging you i need it#the wind master is maya holy shit what if#banyue is pearl#no-face von karma...... qi rong franziska......#again its Not a perfect parallel by any means but the spirit is here#rb with your tgcf lawyer headcannons#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mu qing
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dont normally post about drama but this seems relevant:
im seeing a lot of people jump to "james somerton was never good anyways" in retaliation for the hbomb expose, but there's a really fine line to tread there before you get into stepping on the toes of the people he stole from, you know?
some of his videos and analysis did seem genuinely intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and well-written. yeah, it turns out those are the result of him stealing from other people. but that doesnt mean the original writers WEREN'T intelligent, thoughtful, insightful and good writers. he had plenty of garbage opinions interspersed throughout, but the reason many people (myself included) were suckered in by him is that the queer creators he stole from DID have really important and interesting analysis. the parts of his videos that were good were stolen, but by discounting his essays entirely we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater and insisting those he stole from didn't have anything important to say.
the parts he himself supplied were trash, but he stole the work of some genuinely brilliant and insightful writers and passed it off as his own- and that writing still exists and is still brilliant and insightful; we just know now who was actually responsible for it and who to thank for that work
lets just be careful when we smugly proclaim that we always hated everything he had to say- because a lot of the words we're discounting were never his to begin with, and the last thing those authors need is to have their work trash talked because it ended up in the mouth of someone dishonest
#james somerton#hbomberguy#im just saying like#i liked a lot of points he made in his videos because it turns out he was never the one who made those points#now i can go seek out the original authors and Actually read the work that intrigued me in the first place#they DO deserve credit for their writing!#saying everything he ever made was garbage and nothing he said was worthwhile is such a disservice to those authors#they DID do really brilliant work#and then it was stolen and passed off as his#but their work still stands on its own merits- even more so now that i know#that much of the stuff i Disagreed with was his own opinions or tweaks and that the original work#is not bogged down with his bullshit#and can read it as originally intended#i think admitting that the writers he stole from Are really genuinely good writers and that the opinions he stole from them ARE compelling#is the least we can do to ensure that the authors don't feel like their work is irrevocably taken and tainted
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a couple of og homestuck doodles cuz i didn't know what else to draw ! lol !
#need to start drawing og homestuck more#and i call it that because homestuck to me for the past like 8 months have just been my own little freaks of ocs#that i hardly ever share on here#but i wanna make my own lil headcanon designs for all of da characters and everything#spread my words of wisdom one might say#but idk lol#(i eat shit and die)#/j!#i remember posting a bunch of wbf doodles like MONTHS ago and it had some hs characters in it#and the design for gamzee specifically looked SO UGLYYY (/NEG)#and i kept drawing it like that back then cuz my friend said they liked da design and human brain seeks dopamine giving validation#like that one image that goes “monkey sees action - neuron activation”#so now that i've actually read the entire comic and have had months to think about it afterwards i need to do a complete revamp honestly#atone for my sins#y'know#but anyways#i'll do it one day...#one day.....#my art#digital art#doodle#art#homestuck#hs fanart#homestuck fanart#vriska serket#tavros nitram#wayward vagabond#dirk strider
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A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes the downfall of a god?!?!?!?
Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution
#Okay to put it into better words:#Veritas having once being a prince wanted to give everyone the prosperity of knowledge and became a civil god in the pursuit of it.#Sadly this backfires in people using that knowledge for their own greed and creating civil wars within it as well as unleashing far more#Destruction upon the land. And the other gods didn't help Veritas in stopping that bc see that's what happens when people overshare info!!#So the aftermath is just pure chaos plus banishment from being a civil god and thrown as this god of war and plague.#800 years passes and he is seen to just still be doing the same things but I a simple term. Teaching people to read and count.#Often times taking up mission and doing research on new pathogens to help cure the sick that can't afford and somehow during a reading#Lecture he gets ascended back to godhood and everyone is like ??? And even he is like ???#Well he doesn't care much about it and just continues to do what he's always done. Except that once in a while he has to take a detour#Mission to deal with ghosts and other malignant spirits. And upon one of those recurrences he finds himself aquaintanced with#The infamous Ghost King Aventurine. Who is mostly feared in heaven due to having beaten the strongest and wisest at their own games. Even#When the odds where fully against him.#As for Aventurine.#His life was harsh but as the prince had given a lot to the people#Not just education but also free them of diseases and sickness. One of which had struck his sister. He liked the prince and wanted to#Follow in giving and protecting the prosperity of the former kingdom. But the good things did not last and his family was struck in between#The many wars that took place. No matter how much refuge Kakavasha and his sister sought no place was ever#Safe enough for them.#He watched the entire world go up in flames yet somehow he could hate the prince-god for it. But rather the people who had started to#Create weapons in his name. The rest of his years he spent it as a warrior slave and then when death reached him he couldn't even go to#The afterlife since he still held so much vigor and wanted revenge to all the people who had turned his land into ashes and his family#Into bones. That is why he became a mourning ghost.#(I didn't want the kakavasha story to be so centered on ratio like it is in tgcf. Because I think it will be fun for the two of them to#Not recognize each other at first after 800 years and then when they do. Rather when aven does he's full on: oh shit it's the cute prince—#As for who was the cause of the upheaval in the kingdom and the maker of the weapons. Idk I was debating there being more than just one#Antagonist to have pulled their strings in verita's kingdom as well as be the reason Aven's sister died. So he's more revenge seeking for t#And the genius society as civil gods just spoke to me it for so perfectly. Ling wen as Ruan mei? Yeah exactly.#ratiorine#Aventio#Dr ratio
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when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure
#like I feel like it's conviction. but also when I analyze it... I'm not doing anything sexual??? the stories I'm writing are#ENTIRELY platonic#it's like. found family feels.#but then why do I feel so guilty/convicted over it and feel better/less guilty when I stop writing anything feelsy#like... I guess I'm only allowed to write plot and can't ever write hugs and hurt/comfort anymore#my mom keeps saying I should journal all this instead of venting it at everybody and honestly maybe she's right#idk how to handle this but also I feel like if I just find a holding pattern where I can strike a healthy balance of lile#like* what is correct and healthy for me to enjoy#then the anxiety over it might pass? I don't want to avoid conviction though but like. why am I convicted over#writing a story where someone who's been treated like a monster finds a family who loves them#like.. is it because I'm seeking out whatever that feeling in my lower belly/groin is????#but that's like... so tied up in enjoyment and hurt/comfort to me that idk if I'm ACTUALLY looking for that#or if this is just what I write#and idk if that even is sinful in any way at all!!!#and why can't I just get over this? like I keep going in circles with it and it's so frustrating#idk this is totally tmi I just got hit with this awful feeling after work today and the only thing I can pinpoint it to#is this specific thing I've been writing. but even though yeah I've been getting feelsy with it... it's PLATONIC#ENTIRELY COMPLETELY NONSEXUAL. so like... is it that pleasure feeling that's the thing I'm being convicted over??#probably. bc that's the only thing that eases the feeling of conviction/anxiety/guilt#and also probably no one is reading all these tags lol sorry guys I'll go away now
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together in every universe. or something
#bojan cvjetićanin#kris guštin#joker out#im neglecting schoolwork to draw this but that seems like the norm at this point#hoping if i get it all out of my system now i'll be normal during exam szn (in like. a week 😨)#<<sorry if i keep talking about school btw (semi age reveal ahead) gcses are fucking killing me uuaghhgshhahhhaj#i actually quite like this since i started drawing on a whim this afternoon and its only ten now#i dont even mind the lineart (DONT LOOK AT BOJANS HAND OR ILL JUMP OUT A WINDOW)#only a one storey one tho 💗💗💗 can't die without seeing bokris irl <<pipe dream as im too embarrassed to go to a concert#NO because bumping into jo in london would be my worst fucking nightmare 😭😭😭#what do i even fucking say 'hey are you jan from jo--' NO id combust on the spot#and what if im bothering them uknow 😭😭 idk but i used to live in an asian city where none of my idols from the west would ever visit#(except safiya love you safiya) so keeping the real life person and fictiinalized versions apart in my brain and/or at arms length was easy#but now that i live in the uk and the chances of seeing them irl are non-zero? and presented with the chance to#actively seek them out and you know go to a concert#im just too scared and awkward to do it#maybe i'll bully my friend into going with me#i feel safer revealing age more in the fucking depths of these tags but another thing that makes me feel awkward about going is age#like ik lots of jo fans are younger than me and there's no shame at all in bringing your parents i just feel so embarrassed?? to???#like i'd rather go with my friends#but that would require at least us riding the train alone and i am a small east asian girl who never looks up from the floor ever#sooooo#not happening any time soon#maybe next yr?? but probably not#unless i suddenly get a lot more independant and cool#i doubt anyone's read this much of my tags but if you have 😭😭 hope you like the art i guess#at the time of me writing i want to draw more but i'll see#(you will know since it will have been posted)#a tag previously used to say 'queueing to post at school' this is false as i am now in fact nauseous at home#my art
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if ianto jones (NOT gareth david-lloyd. actual ianto jones) walked through your door and said he wasnt dead and he needed a kidney and you were the only match what would you do
i am holding his face in my hands, kissing that man on the forehead, and asking him if he wants the left or right one
#babygirl it would be an HONOR to be rendered immunocompromised for the rest of my life for you#you need a kidney? it’s yours. blood? i got that universal donor shit baby!!! i got liters of sweet sweet O- on tap for you#plasma. marrow. various snacks and soft drinks. you need a few quid? no fucking clue what that is. here’s 50 dollars. i love you#no questions asked. partially because i know it would get me nowhere. gotta assume the reasons are absurd and way above my pay grade.#when dealing with TW and its operatives understand that you will never understand.#you can seek out the truth but don’t try to wrap your head around it.#ianto jones is alive and in your doorway and saying he needs a kidney transplant and that you are the only match in the world? yeah alright.#side tangent: the clarification that this is not GDL made me imagine if it was him and it’s such a funny fucking visual#i hear a knock on my front door. get up and go to it. open it up and it’s fucking Gareth David Lloyd.#i’ve only ever seen him on TV/films or IG but this is a whole ass dude in front of me. and then he says he needs a kidney transplant#and he keeps talking and says that i am the only person on earth who is a donor match so would you please give me your one of your kidneys#just the image of some grown ass man that i vaguely know of spawning outside of my house and asking me to give him one of my organs#it’s so funny to me. how did you find my address? why am i the only viable match? how did you get THAT information? i love torchwood btw#he’s an actor who played one of my favorite characters but he’s also some random man#ianto jones#torchwood
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omg they found a family in each other and are taking a family photo together
full party chat under the cut
#yakuza 7#ichiban kasuga#yu nanba#koichi adachi#saeko mukoda#joongi han#seonhee#tianyou zhao#it is TIME to RAMBLE in the TAGS 🎉#one of my favorite thing in y7 is how (almost) each member of the ichigang comes from a broken family#nanba's brother had recently disappeared and nanba's life was heavily impacted by it#saeko's relationship with her sister is terrible yet still loving and the fact they cannot connect deeply hurts saeko emotionally#joongi considered the original joongi han as his twin brother before he got killed and found another subistute sibling in seonhee#and zhao saw a brother in mabuchi and had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact he was his enemy now#and ichiban well. you know.#the reason why their friend group feels so strong is most probably because they're all craving for the kind of human connection they lost#they're all seeking a familial bond in each other because they were denied this bond with their actual family#or already lost it in a previous found family#(which is why nanbas character arc in Y7 is so satisfying bc out of everyone he was the only one who didn't HAVE to become part of the gang#>as he already had his brother back there was no reason for him to still find a emotional connection with the rest of the group)#only adachi doesn't really fit in this interpretation of their bonds... but he could represent the people who never had ANY family ever#and who are only finding one very late in life. i would be satisfied if this is how he is supposed to fit in the whole family theme :)#codexdraws#y7 spoilers#kasuga ichiban#nanba yu#adachi koichi#mukoda saeko#han joongi#zhao tianyou
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"I hope that we meet in another life..."
#you ever be working on a starshipping thing for so long it makes you wanna do a different starshipping thing#been drawing a thing for hours and did this in about 30' to cool down ig#anyway let's talk about how their unique positions lend themselves to so many interesting ways to explore the challenges they have to deal#canonically it's sorta a “rule” that some problems with the universe can only be solved by the protagonists#but in the end they are only humans who for most of the stories are children#can one day a disaster come to seek one of them that's so great that only one of them is the “chosen one” to make it out alive?#or maybe their very coexistence in the same universe causes problems#but they want!!! to!! be!! together!!!!!! because they've always followed their hearts and it feels deeply wrong that they can't#hm i need to draw more angst is what i think#starshipping saturday#is sad#sorry#starshipping#yugioh#yusei fudo#yugioh gx#yugioh 5ds#jaden yuki#judai yuki#art by neeko#sketch#fanart#digital art
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#i went and got Examined and Cleaned at dentist and of course paid with my own money#which i save for these exact reasons! health stuff#and i feel much better after going... like in general#i needed a cleaning its been a while since my last one#anyway i get home and both my parents are acting like it was all a waste of time and money#which makes sense bc like. this is only my second time ever going to a dentist. ykwim#i never went to doctors growing up because Waste Of Money We Dont Have#so obvs they think that way#but it Affects Me. ykwim. like oh i really am going to have insane obsessive massive self doubt over every decision i make until i die...ok#like maybe i shouldtve gone maybe it wldve gone away by itself i dont knowwwww#joining the war on All The Men In My Family Dying Bc They Dont Seek Medical Care on the side of the Men#talkys
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happy bisexual day to those who celebrate
#dragalia lost#dragalia#orion#orion dragalia#I don't usually cross reference JP translations for Dragalia stuff but I was curious if some of the Really Gay Lines in English were#the same in the original text. Turns out some of them weren't#which just makes the localization funnier#Like. Grain of salt because I don't speak Japanese and rely on machine translations and friends who speak the language#But the really sus “receiving end” line was originally just. “Haha it'd be nice to be the one getting escorted for once :)”#I'm sure it's not an entirely indulgent translation but. Phrasing!!!#then there's the infamous(?) “I seek to have a relationship with everyone here!” where in JP it's clearer that by “everyone”#Orion means “every woman” and not literally “everyone”#bc JP Elly says “In your case won't just any woman do?” while in EN she just calls him shameless LOL#there's a few more#like the scene where Orion says “You're the first man I've ever wanted to protect” and Euden says “damn bro I thought you weren't gay?”#and he responds calmly like “You really are slow when it comes to these matters! I'm just saying you're more charming than you know.”#it's a letdown but it's kinda coy#meanwhile since JP has some extra animations#namely Orion jumping in shock and making a cringing face before responding#the No Homo vibe is off the charts 😭😭😭#and then theres that xmas seasonal line that's about picking up women ...when voices are set to JP.#The EN line is about being broke. For some reason.#But even with all that it's not like there's no gay subtext in JP Orion's dialogue. It's just deeply funny how the EN localizers went#Yup. This one. Bisexual. We gotta make it more obvious.
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“Matsuura-san’s parent died… Hikaru’s parent also died… having your parent die… is bad.”
Thank god we’ve got Yoshiki here, modern philosopher of our time, to drop this wisdom upon us. Surely this grand conclusion, which required a whole flashback to come to, will have an impact on how Yoshiki views death going forward- oh wait, lol what am I saying? Of course it’s not!
#It took so much to come to the coldest take I’ve ever seen#Like Yoshiki pulled this straight out of the fridge ‘hikaru’ put Matsuura in#And he somehow got less empathetic after this point#At the point that /‘Hikaru’/ is the one going ‘should we care about this person dying?’#And Yoshiki is going ‘nah. We’ve got a research project to do’#Smth has definitely changed#I hope this obsession with the research project is like- an actual thing#Maybe like Yoshiki is experiencing that same emptiness ‘hikaru’ feels on a daily basis but he doesn’t know what would fill it#So he’s just seeking out and taking in as much information as he can because learning has always been an escape for Yoshiki#Like being smart is Yoshiki’s way out of the village. Every time Tokyo is brought up it’s almost always in reference to his intelligence#So learning more has always been Yoshiki’s solution to things. ALSO Yoshiki is actually obsessed w/ this research project#He thinks about it while he’s in class- while he’s studying outside of class- while his friends are all talking-#You can probably count on two hands the amount of times Yoshiki talks about smth other than the research project post volume 3#It’s actually concerning#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer hikaru died#hgsn#hgsn spoilers#my hgsn shit#It doesn’t have to be because he’s becoming more like ‘hikaru’#I’d just like for that plot point to come up again and be like a driving force for why Yoshiki acts the way he does#The actual reason will be nothing at all#And instead Yoshiki will revert back to normal when Maki eventually dies#Because Yoshiki is only capable of caring about people he knows the name of
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sucker for big sister sailor dee and baby brother bandana who had a Tragic Sibling Fallout during revenge of meta knight (who later reunited because i can't handle angst)
#in my heart sailor is a girl#anyways um lore ->#i think sailor was the more boisterous and rebellious of the two which led to her joining the meta knights spotaneously#bandee (before he got his bandana) thought she ran away or died or something which led to him seeking refuge at the castle#revenge of meta knight happens.#bandee looking heartbroken as his sister stands over him ready to invade the one place that took him in after she left#uhh kirby beats em up and sailor is feeling super remorseful about abandoning her baby brother#sailor expresses a very sorry apology to bandee but the visit is cut short because meta knight gets super banished from dreamland#64 happens and bandee gets his bandana yayy#sailor and bandee make up and are trying to repair their sibling bond#and they all lived happily ever after#oops tag time hh#kirby series#sailor waddle dee#bandana waddle dee#veves ultra cool art
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN JONES [28TH FEB 1942]
"I can talk about almost any subject. Lots of reporters say I’m an interviewer’s dream. But it’s on travel that I like to talk about. There are hundreds of places all over the world that I’ve always wanted to see. Egypt’s Pyramids, Sydney Harbour, Honolulu, the North Pole. I could name lots more. If I ever get the time and the money I’d like to seek out every corner of the earth." - Brian Jones
#brian jones#the rolling stones#1960s#classic rock#happy birthday brian 💞💞💞 it's your day !!!!#i always get so emotional today because i miss him and i want him to see how much he is loved and cherished now <33#that is the only thing that would ever give me peace - knowing that brian is happy and doing well and playing the blues#hope he got to seek out every corner of the earth and teach people how to play harmonica more !!!#also hope he gets to wear as much silk and velvet and satin and wear his hats and scarves !!!!!!!!!!!!!#wear that turtleneck one more time baby - no one will know ! it's our secret <3
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can’t believe people are seriously suggesting jacob elordi to play patrick bateman in that rumoured american psycho remake
#like please seek help because no one will ever top christian bale’s patrick bateman#i don’t even hate saltburn but now i do because people wouldn’t even be mentioning jacob elordi for shit like this before saltburn came out#txt
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