#because they're both so very 'Hello! Project protagonist'

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

WIP Questionnaire ±2

I was tagged by @rjcopeseethemald! I haven't done one of these in a while and really enjoyed the questions here, so I decided I'd give it a go for my wip: Wings of Faith!

Original from @illarian-rambling.

If you want to know more about Wings of Faith, check out my post here!

RULES: 1. Answer as few or as many of the following questions as you’d like! 2. In passing the tag along to others, you can add one question of your own, or replace an existing question.

This art is a bit old but it's the last time I've drawn everyone all together haha

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Surprisingly enough, Emmie (a main character, but not the protagonist) is the first part of my wip that I created (See the red girl on the top left). She was the protagonist of the very first book I wrote in fifth grade, and I wanted to pay homage to that work by including her. However, she's changed a LOT since then (even her name!), and the only remaining carry-over is the red streak in her hair.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Intro song: "Run to the Devil" by Dragonwyck or "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. Outro song: "It Will Come Back" or "Francesca" by Hozier Instrumental: "Dragonlord Placidusax" from the Elden Ring Soundtrack or "Danse Macabre" by The Oh Hellos

3. Who are your favorite characters you’ve made? Why?

Andrew, my protagonist, is by far my favorite character. Writing from the POV of an incredibly sensitive, incredibly traumatized person (who feels things very deeply), while outwardly projecting a cruel and defensive facade is... *chef's kiss* Otherwise, I'd have to say Emmie. She is a very layered and multifaceted character with an incredibly important role to play in the story, and her kindness is refreshing amid a mostly hardened cast of characters.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Six of Crows fans

Dante's Inferno fans who don't mind me bending the lore a bit

Fellow ex-Catholics

Fans of Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" album

Supernatural fans into the "corrupted angel x man struggling for redemption" dynamic

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Keeping the facts straight. This has been a 10+ year project and sometimes I forget the revisions I've made, and accidentally cut out important details...

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Yes! Rimfaxe is a wraith, aka a shapeshifting shadow monster that takes the form of the things he's killed and eaten. (See the top left of the art above!) Emmie stole him from the government and now he's basically her kid.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

They mostly walk (or fly on Rimfaxe)! Because Hell has a ceiling, the authorities restrict car transport to government officials ONLY to keep down emissions.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

A giant, chapter-long fight scene that I've been working on for a literal year. It's TORTURE. Can't explain much else because of spoilers haha.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

The main romance is an mlm enemies-to-friends-to-lovers angel x demon pairing! (Angel x demon pairings where they're both assholes>>>>>) Also I feel like there's been a void in lore-focused media dealing with angels and demons, and I'm hoping Wings of Faith will fill that void!

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

That I get it done after 10+ years... and that people will like it :')

11. (Added by rjcopeseethemald) What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this wip?

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" album

Adding a Question 12: Is there a part of your wip you wish that you could change, but it's too late to go back now?

I don't want to bother anyone by tagging them directly, so I tag anyone who sees this post and wants to do it! Blanks below.

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Who are your favourite characters you’ve made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your wip are you working on rn?

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your wip?

What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this WIP?

[satanfemme]

hello you are really funny and have good takes and I have a puppy crush on you??? can you please tell me more about your visual novel :) what is your favorite page you've drawn so far?

hehe thank u :3c this is so flattering!

since u didn't specify what u want to hear about my visual novel, I'm just gonna ramble about what's on my mind with it if that's ok :-) (and I'll share my fav pages at the end ofc)

first random thought: the novel presents the character Case as the narrator/protagonist, but I think the secret real protagonist is Dane. case is in charge for the first chapter & most of the second chapter, but in the second chapter there's a turning point where dane becomes the center of the narrative (even as the story is still told from case's POV). I think this is fun. dane is the best character, and that's an objective fact.

second random thought: this is subject to change as I continue working and drawing from different sources, but right now some of the media that's inspiring my vn are: psycholonials, echo vn, the last house on dead end street, nekromantik, interview with the vampire (tv), hardcoded, midori, homestuck, fight club (book), and hellraiser.

third random thought: I think a big thing I'm worried about is the story (once it's finished) being misinterpreted. if it gets downloaded by Anyone who isn't one of my immediate friends/followers, I think there's a good chance someone's gonna miss the point or get "the wrong thing" out of it, as is the inherent nature of art. and I try to find peace with this, especially since it'll still be many months At Least before it'll be ready for release (if not longer considering I keep bouncing between different projects). but it's a story about a violent and unhealthy sexual lesbian relationship. + it deals with themes of kink, depression/mental health, transphobia, misogyny, and people living on the fringes of society. these are all themes that interest me, especially in horror, but they're also very prone to sparking backlash especially when coming from a smaller creator. or if not backlash, then the themes being flattened by the force of fandom culture. I spend a lot of time thinking about hypothetical outcomes like "what if I get called out for romanticizing transphobia, because I depict a character experiencing it" or "what if people ship case and dane (<-something that would be fine on it's own fwiw) so hard that they ignore the messier and more thematically relevant aspects of their relationship". or omg I Especially worry about "what if people see a depiction of a realistically messy kink relationship, decide it's wholly bad and evil, and therefor determine the story must be anti-kink or bad kink representation or something".

it's funny that these are the things I worry about actually, because irl I'm always watching horror that's way less sensitive or good-intentioned than my work is, and I'm always finding things to enjoy about it anyway (or often Because of the way it is - sorry for finding the horror genre interesting, flaws and all! as if it's my fault). like really and truly the internet is just a moral OCD generator. and it's my awareness of that that's pushing me to keep working on my visual novel despite my fears <3

also the most realistic outcome continues to be "like 5-10 people download it, only half of them finish it, and they just think it's like.... weird but alright".

as for my favorite page so far, it'd be one of these:

(cw for a guro image under the cut!!)

---

(the second image is censored for tumblr. & I'm hoping what's still visible doesn't get me in trouble.)

this first image is my fav cause case is both scary and kinda hot... and I'm into that. I'm not a masochist but I'd let her tie me up and beat me with her crowbar at least once. whatever. this drawing isn't technically done yet but I just need to add more filters/effects to it basically.

this second image is my fav cause it's just really pretty to look at imo. I did a more painterly style with it (different pages have completely different art styles & I don't care) and In My Humble Opinion I think it captures a really nice balance between horror/disgust and eroticism, which is what I need it to do for the scene it's in. idk what other people see in it, especially in this post where it's removed from context lol oops, but whenever I look at it I simultaneously feel the emotions "wow this is so beautiful" and dread. which is great, that's such a good combo of emotions. I love dread!! give it up for dread!

[nonkul]

Hi user nanaphat!

I am back in your inbox to share my thoughts about The Boy and the Heron. It’s been almost a week since I’ve watched it and I still have trouble collecting my thoughts. I feel like the best way to describe this film is by describing it as a mix of “The Wind Rises”, “When Marnie Was There”, and “Tales of Earthsea”, although I’m the first one to say that it’s no use comparing films. (I know all these films weren’t directed by Hayao Miyazaki. The fact that I compared one of his films with one of his son’s… I don’t think he’d be very happy about that.)

I don’t know if you’d like the whole film but something tells me you’d like the directing and the way it portrayed grief. I don’t want to spoil you so I won’t attempt at putting into words how grief, love, and acceptance were portrayed but it’s definitely at the heart of the film imo.

I’ve got to admit though, the character design surprised me but it served Miyazaki’s vision perfectly.

Something that makes me feel sad however is that you can tell his films aren’t as hopeful as they used to be. Even if the overall messages conveyed are always beautiful and empowering, there’s a darkness (almost a lingering doom in some ways?? It might just be me projecting though) that is very much present and visible. The opening scene of The Boy and the Heron is one of the most powerful opening scenes I’ve ever seen and the way it echoes what’s happening in Gaza is heart-wrenching (it’s a heart-breaking coincidence).    

hello! I'm so sorry it took this long to get back to you :( I really wanted to go see the film in the theater after seeing how much you enjoyed it, so I was saving this ask all this time. aaaand I finally got to watch it!!! today.

the boy and the heron is probably somewhere in my top 3 ghibli films now. no concrete ranking yet because I need to freshen up my memory on some of them, but it definitely deserves to be high up there.

I don't know what your interpretation of the plot is, and we may have vaaaastly different interpretations. good media tends to do that and it's fun!

to me, the alternative universe is symbolic of mahito's coping with the new changes around him. and within that universe, he came up with answers to questions he did not want to ask any adult about. it reminded me so much of "through the looking glass". both stories feature a young protagonist traversing a dream-like world that reflects their curiosities and insecurities.

in mahito's case, I loved

that mahito quickly concluded there must be an answer to his granduncle's sudden disappearance and the answer could only be obtained by going into the mysterious tower.

that he was mildly uncomfortable with touching his stepmom's belly in the beginning of the movie, only to find her later in a delivery room in one of the climaxes and this time he wanted her back.

that he first appeared to look down on the maids in the house, as they were overly nosy about his father's suitcase and whatever he wanted to do. but then he found a cooler looking, more ambitious kirito in the alternative world and came to respect her.

that he was grieving over his dead mother, only to find a girl with fire magic who's willing to aide him in his journey unconditionally. the film really portrayed him coming to terms with the inevitability of death in the most poignant way.

my favorite part is the little segment where warawara's formed a DNA chain as they're being birthed! that was so beautiful and only hayao could come up with a creative depiction like that.

[elekinetic]

hfkjadsndsfdjldsafjk hi yes hello the anon who asked about the script stuff- 1st, thank you for answering!!!, 2nd, i saw your tags and am back because ohmygodineedtotalkaboutthisrightnow

okay so! i'm planning to go to film school for college, but that's still a bit away so i'm trying to learn a little bit by myself beforehand- hence why the screenplay question came up, because turns out THIS IS VERY HARD TO LEARN ABOUT INFORMALLY

but i've had an idea for a movie floating around in my head for a while, and like. it's never gonna get made, but i have SO many thoughts about it and i thought 'hey, might as well give writing it down a shot just as a fun project'

the concept is essentially a modern slasher/horror film centered around a woman who runs a true crime podcast/youtube channel, who's That kind of true crime fan that treats real victims' stories like jokes and is just INCREDIBLY disrespectful- i'm sure you know what i'm talking about, it's unfortunately EVERYWHERE right now.

but like for main inspiration and stuff i guess i've had both spree (the 2020 movie with joe keery) and fresh (the 2022 movie with sebastian stan) in mind the entire time? from spree, the concept of the internet fueling toxicity and actual physical harm to real people because of not only the anonymity of an online persona, but also because of the inherent clout-chasing that's born from the way that so much social media is structured. from fresh, it's more of the way that it's shot- i really likedthe cinematography from that film, i thought it was super neat and easy to understand even from a beginner's point of view.

on top of both of those, i really enjoy gothic horror in literature and movies, so my goal is to kind of draw from the concept of humanizing the "villain" that's so huge in gothic literature. gothic horror is about the inherent horror OF humanity- i'd love to be able to play off of that by not only having an antagonist with incredibly understandable if twisted reasoning, but also by having a protagonist that undergoes a severe shift in their moral code after recognizing the bad things that they've done. and i know that just sounds like a basic character arc because i'm not doing a good job of explaining it lmao- but i'd really love to have the horror come not from a man with a knife and a scary mask, but from the reality of the situation, where the audience can recognize that it's very real and a genuine problem in modern internet culture, if that makes sense?

and finally, i LOVE guillermo del toro's work. god, what i would GIVE to talk to him about some of his project, they're absolutely incredible- so i suppose there's some aspect of that admiration that's been floating around in my brain and adding spice to this project.

but. yeah. sorry for the rant in your inbox, but LORD i've needed a chance to talk about this somewhere, so thank you if you read this LMAO

god, anon. anon i have been thinking abt the whole true crime thesis thing FOR MONTHS THANK YOU, YOUR IDEA IS SUCH A GREAT WAY TO CONVEY THE TOXICITY ugh i need to watch more horror bc it as a medium to explore/comment on human experiences is so !!! and the commodification of human suffering for personal gain that is so fleeting? the self fulfilling prophecy of centering yourself in stories of real pain? when the protagonist isn’t the hero? GOD. super cool.

this was a lovely read and god your inspirations!! spree and fresh have been on my list forever, will definitely be checking these out now. and gothic horror, god, YES. i wrote an essay in high school about how henry from the picture of dorian gray was a vampire in all ways but physical and how oscar wilde was actually writing a horror novel. reread it recently and i don’t agree w 100% of it but it was making a similar point as you!

vís-a-vís learning informally: i’ve talked a little on here about stuff i’ve learned in college/things i’ve adopted into my process, all under the tag #film stuff. also happy to answer questions abt film school or share stuff i’ve learned! i’m by no means an expert but i can tell you what i’ve been told (abt storytelling and abt the industry)

[redfreesias03]

Kokoro no Sakebi wo Uta ni Shitemita (“I Tried Writing a Song Based on What My Heart Is Screaming”)

“If I tried and put what my heart is screaming into a song, would it get through to you? I’ve never shown anyone all of me before.”

OR: The tongue-tied process of confessing to a close friend.

anata no kawari wa doko ni mo nai kedo watashi no kawari wa iru mitai da ne

No one could ever take your place, but It sure seems like someone could take mine

「akaruku tanoshiku egao ga ii ne」to saikin nandaka homerareteru ki ga shinai to iu no mo yokunai yo ne    AH

“You’re bright, fun, and you’ve got a great smile” For some reason lately, hearing that doesn’t feel like A compliment—that’s not good, is it? AH

kodoku na yoru wa    atsumatte kuru kao ga mienai bun oshaberi desu

The lonely nights keep piling up The more I can’t see your face, the more I chatter away

kokoro no sakebi wo uta ni shitemitara tsutawaru kashira dare ni mo miseta koto nai All of me

If I tried and put what my heart is screaming into a song Would it get through to you? It’s something I’ve never shown anyone, All of me

kokoro no sasae wa    tatta hitotsu dake anata anata de bimyou na kyorikan no mama aishiteru

There’s only one thing that anchors my heart You, being you Even as this complicated feeling of distance between us continues, I love you

anata ni kore ijou chikadzukenai no wa kirawarenai you ni watashi ga katte ni tsukutteru koto mo wakatteru no    AH

Not getting any closer to you than this Is a situation that I myself created Because I don’t want you to hate me—I’m also aware of that    AH

namida no jibun ni hitatteru asu no ichigenme saborou ka na

I’m drowning myself in my own tears Maybe I’ll skip my first class tomorrow

kokoro no sakebi wo moji ni okoshitara kekkou sugoi wa dare ni mo miseta koto nai All of me

If I were to transcribe what my heart is screaming, into written words It’d be pretty incredible It’s something that I’ve never shown anyone, All of me

yappari kotae wa    tatta hitotsu dake anata anata de zutto zutto issho nara ii na aishiteru

Just as I thought, there’s only one answer You, you I wish we’ll always, always be together    I love you

kokoro no sakebi wo uta ni shitemitara tsutawaru kashira dare ni mo miseta koto nai All of me

If I tried and put what my heart is screaming into a song Would it get through to you? It’s something I’ve never shown anyone, All of me

kokoro no sasae wa tatta hitotsu dake anata anata de bimyou na kyorikan no mama aishiteru

There’s only one thing that anchors my heart: You, being you Even as this complicated feeling of distance continues, I love you

[hansama]

Heya! I have received your Secret Santa request and I'm super excited to work on it!! I'm already very interested in that Accursed AU and would love to learn more about it! :D

omg!! hello Santa!! 👋✨

I hope you're doing well and that you're having a nice day ❤️️❤️️

aaaahh//// thank you for showing interest in my AU???////

Here's the summary,,, It's a post-genocide AU where a human falls underground (on purpose) and then revives the dusted monsters with dark magic

*looks at notes* hooo kay this will be a bit wordy and a lil messy, so i'll continue the rest undercut ;)

just going to say that this AU is not sans centric, but I'll add a smol section of info about him anyway aslkjghaldkhjfg

So, Accursed au.

Frisk did the genocide run (including the evacuated monsters) and is stuck in the void (the one with chara).

The protagonist: A female adult, an only child, her parents are divorced, she lives alone.

One of her ancestors is one of the seven mages that sealed the monsters underground.

Through generations, the story of that one guy is passed.

For protag, it was her mom that told her that she's related to a very great mage that sealed monsters underground. (The father thought the mother was crazy. That is one of the reasons why they divorced.)

The protagonist was very affected by the story and wanted to see the magical beings herself.

She also wanted to train her magic. (She thinks she would be worth more as a person if she has magic/skilled at magic. She doesn't think she's worth anything atm.)

She doesn't yet know she's already a mage at birth, she wants to become one.

The only hint she has to help her quest to find magical beings is that they're underground, and the some spells written in a book by her ancestors.

The book is incomplete, but it was enough to guide her to magical places.

Eventually, she falls through mt. Ebott. But nobody was there.

Still, the protag saw that there was a remain of society here. She was fascinated with it, but it was still so eerie and quiet.

Protag walks through the underground for a bit. Nabtablook was stalking her the whole time, and he decided to confront/talk with her.

They bonded over that they're both worthless beings. They lie down and do the feel-like-trash thing... and napstablook decides to project and show her what the underground was like before it was wiped; when it was a magical place full of hope and love.

(By the way, Napstablook is even more depressed than what you see in the game, believe it or not.)

So anyways, Protag decides that she needs to learn magic asap and try to save the underground.

Blooky isn't a teacher, nor does he know anything about human magic, so he just leads her to the librarby.

There, she finds a book written by her ancestor. An incomplete spellbook (the continuation of the book she used to find the underground.)

Within the book she finds spells about reviving.

Protag has questionable morals, so she doesn't think much about that. She asks blooky, who, after a while of being completely alone and depressed, is messed up. At first he hesitates, but then in the end he goes along with her, because she just insists more and more.

The ones are who get revived from the main cast :

Toriel is the first to get revived, so she has the spottiest memory, she only remembers her family, and she asks for asgore... Who has better memory and remembers why toriel hates him.

Alphys also gets revived

Papyrus gets revived as well, and he makes her revive Sans (who drains the last bit of magic she had) << nabstablook didn't know that sans is stronk

The only one who doesn't get revived is undyne cuz she requires too much energy

So now the many of the resurrected monsters wish they're dead, they want to kill each other or kill the human who revived them. They're filled with hate, rage, despair and depression.

...... so let's recap a bit and add a bit more information, shall we?

A human falls underground (on purpose) and she revives the dead monsters with dark magic

But here's the thing, in this AU, Magic is divided, monsters are made of good "white" magic, they are NOT meant to be created from dark/"black" magic, which is the complete opposite

Since the core fundamental of the resurrected monsters changed from their OG magic which was based around love, hope, and compassion.

Now it's the opposite...

Now some complete Sans centric info:

memory not so good

depressed lad

feels some kind of guilt/responsibility over the whole mess cuz he never stopped Frisk in the first place (which is bull but whatever)

wants to kill himself but can't bring himself to do that (cuz it'll be running away from his "mistakes")

desperately tries his best to fix everything, and finding a "solution" so he overworks himself in his experiments and drowns in books

which results in major insomnia

but he doesn't actually find anything

so he switches between sleeping all day long hating himself and everyone around him (yes, including paps) and barely sleeping

somewhere deep down he hates papyrus for (indirectly) bringing him back and suffering through this he feels betrayed. Which makes Sans hate himself even more cuz he feels this way, looping over and over till it bursts. (then it gets back to simmer again.. And burst.. In a loop)

has slept in the weirdest places and weirdest positions

used to like eating risotto with mushroom

his eyes are hazy, barely focused (has bad eyesight)

has trust issues

feels like he's living a nightmare, not sure if this is a joke or not

dissociation hours say hi

The first thing Sans tried to do after he got revived was trying to kill the human, but then he discovered that if he does, he basically gonna kill everyone underground

(It's a dilemma they're in, they want to kill the human, they want to get out of the misery, but they also don't want to be the one responsible to kill their loved one.... Again....

And what if there's hope...? )

now Idk how to write this so it'll be in Q/A form

The reason why they can't kill the human cuz if they do, they're basically gonna kill everyone the human revived, cuz they're feeding off the human magic to live (they also consume healing/green food, the only thing that they can eat)

hopefully, this drawing makes a little bit more sense after reading a bit more about him? :D (click on link)

"where does the black magic come from?"

From the human's soul that's filled with KINDNESS, ya know, just like how the power of DETERMINATION fills Frisk (even throughout the genocide run)

The power of KINDNESS and the magic that already over flowed from within the protagonist was one of the things that aided in the creation of the monsters

But it's not... The right(?) kindness

What i brought this up for is that this is why his (Sans) eyelights are green (his magic, too) it all got affected

"why not leave underground/break the barrier?"

No, they can't break the barrier, they don't have enough SOULS to break the barrier

The previous souls all vanished with frisk's genocide run, so they're back to square 1

"No flowey resurrection?"

No, they don't even know where his dust is? Besides, he was already lacking a soul; he lived off pure determination

Isn't Flowey just a flower injected with determination + asriel's dust? xD

He'd be a torn up flower in the post-game void

Aanddd yeah!! I think this is a general overview of the AU and a bit of insight into Sans's character? xDD

I hope this is fun to read

[your--isgayrights]

Have you read svsss bc the hilarious take of “I’m not gay this man is simply the most beautiful this is an objective fact” seems present in both kdj and sy. To me. Idk these are my current obsessions and I can’t stop drawing connections between them and trying to get other ppl to like them. Like how I want an orv/Hades game xover based purely on vibes and the fact that I consumed them at the same time

HOW DID YOU KNOW? I, like, never talk about it but I am definitely like low-key obsessed with scum villain. Like I have the first volume in print and read fic about it allllllll the time I've read SO much fic by SO many authors it's kind of concerning. The AO3 scene is so talented and diverse... And exactly as you said I love the comedy a lot. I read it after ORV so if you read my fic and see the way I do KDJ that's me pre-reading scum villain going like "wow it would be funny if there was a book fixating on this aspect of KDJ where he is desperately loving and in love with this guy he thinks is objectively the best person in the world but he will never ever let him know on pain of death" and then some time in the interim of 4.2 and 4.3 when I was kind of switched from creating mode to consuming mode I read sv and was like 😲 hello???

I really like how sv and ORV both are really analytically subversive of the tropes of their particular genres while still ultimately fulfilling the promises they make to the reader. Of course I do think that ORV fulfills more of those promises and is very purposeful about that, but that's why I like reading SV fic more, bc I like to see what issues people had with it and what they took away from it and what they would want to change... Like SV is sooo messy and funny but obvi it's got a lot of stuff that makes you go "... Ummm?????" so seeing other people have those same reactions is comforting.

It's totally the opposite for me when it comes to ORV fic I have to admit tho! I usually only read ORV fic by my friends nowadays bc I just don't have a lot of fun in the Ao3 tag. It's one of those media properties that I have a lot of specific, positive interpretations of, so I'm not as generous in my readings of fic about it I think 😅. I was pretty much just looking for stuff that was basically letting me reread the original work, so when I felt like the author changed some idea or character motivation I would always think 😤😤😤 that isn't right!!! They don't know them like I do! What about such and such scene or such and such character motivation from such and such chapter of ORV, don't they remember??? Which totally isn't fair to the authors bc obvi they're just playing with ORV and fixating on specific tropes and themes just like I am... That's just what's the sign to me to "start writing fic" instead of just "keep reading more fic."

Anyway that's why I don't talk about SV a lot, but I'm actually really into xianxia as a genre right now because of it. I've been hyperfixating on traditional Chinese medicine for a while now (in the vein of reading research articles about neuroscience behind acupuncture theory and translations of resuscitation methods from the six dynasties period) so that interest has ultimately culminated in me working on an original comic project that might never see the light of day. Basically just one where a guy gets put into a female xianxia protagonist's body in a het romance novel so he has to Speedrun being trans lol. He's like a neuroscientist tho so his main thing becomes trying to prove the germ theory of disease while the plot happens around him. Bc the only thing I'm constantly thinking to myself while reading xianxia is "... How would that work? Like. Scientifically." Which shows how lame I am lol... THIS guy wants soft magic rules to be HARD magic rules... Also like there are a lot of problems faced in modern NS research that being able to manipulate qi would really help with on like a microscopic cellular level... Problem is that cultivators & microscopes don't coexist...

OK I shouldn't describe more of that unless it's over DM (☉_☉.)

Anyway thanks a lot for your question! The other thing you mention- that xover sounds really funny, especially with the pre-existing OT3 dynamics I think it'd be good for Yoo-Han-Kim. The funny thing would be reconciling ORV's cannon portrayal of Hades and Persephone as like fun adoptive parents with Hades the game's stellar "they are divorced and estranged and their son has to die a lot fixing them" take. Honestly it's not really a dynamic I'm super attached to from ORV cannon because while I totally understand its place as like wish fulfillment for KDJ'S self insert (himself) I just find it less compelling than other relationships, especially the one he has with his mom. Would Love YJH God of Death or HSY Fury moment like yeah sounds good to me... Who would be HSY's sisters then? Maybe other versions of herself lol... JHW would make a good fury hmmm.... What about the Olympians would they just be regular? Obvi the main themes would be KDJ relationship w/ parents and how YHK helps him with that which honestly could have Vibes but you'd have to shape all the character placements around that.

OK SORRY, LONG POST (☉_☉;;) THANKS FOR YOUR ASK!

[loveisneurotic]

Kaguya-sama Blind Reaction/Analysis: S1E1

Hello everyone, this is my blog which I am currently using to react to and analyze Kaguya-sama: Love Is War much more seriously than I should analyze any romcom.

I have only seen the first episode of the anime, which this post shall explore using far too many words. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I may read the manga as well.

My analysis will contain spoilers. If you're thinking of watching this show and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you at least go check out the first episode yourself before reading any further. I don't know what the rest of the show is like, but what I've seen so far has been both entertaining and thought-provoking.

I'm going in mostly blind, but not entirely blind. There are a few images of the anime and manga that I have been exposed to, although without the attached context. Due to cultural osmosis and the sheer popularity of this work, perhaps that was almost inevitable.

Figure 1.1.1: Why did this guy write an essay about a single episode of an ongoing romcom?

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

Season 1 Episode 1

I Will Make You Invite Me to a Movie / Kaguya Wants to Be Stopped / Kaguya Wants It

Power dynamics in relationships

Figure 1.1.2: Immediately, the mangaka's tastes become clear.

I heard a saying once that really stuck with me: "The partner who cares the least has all of the power."

In the world of dating, I often sincerely believed this saying. You may yearn for someone's affection, but the other person need not give it to you until they are willing and ready. No matter how much you want it, you can't make someone more interested in you, unless you resort to being roundabout, such as adding some mystery and intrigue to your courtship. But is that excessive?

I once felt a potential lover slipping through my grasp, and before I knew it, I found myself chasing after them. As I was yearning for their attention, I felt as if I'd lost my dignity. It was humiliating. Painful. Was it just that they weren't the right person for me? Or was I not funny enough? Not charismatic enough? Not interesting enough? Too clingy? Too talkative? Should I have been more distant and given them more space? Did I seem too weak? Too eager? How should I have maximized my desirability? Regardless, I had surely lost. Perhaps they wanted the satisfaction and validation of conquering me. Playing me for a fool and asserting their superiority by being so distant. Isn't that right? Or is that just insecurity speaking? At what point is it ideal to cut one's losses and walk away?

If someone desperately wants the object of their affection to desire them, does that make them pathetic? Does it make them a loser? If you show more vulnerability and desire than the other person, does that truly make you the weak one in a relationship?

These questions plague our two protagonists and seem to be a driving force behind the main conflict. Since I have also grappled with how much to reveal my own feelings of desire, I find Kaguya-sama: Love Is War to be a particularly fascinating show.

Desire without action

Figure 1.1.3: Our protagonists are gifted with impressively high academic intelligence paired with impressively low emotional intelligence.

The show wastes no time in introducing us to our two main protagonists. Kaguya was born into a family of high stature (and says "ara ara" frequently enough to power a small country of weebs), whereas Shirogane is a "commoner" (Kaguya's word, not mine) who worked hard to reach the pinnacle of the student body. Like timid schoolchildren, they're crushing on each other, and yet they refuse to admit it due to their pride. Instead, they focus on getting their "opponent" to confess their love first.

What stuck out to me immediately is how they both have different ideas of what their relationship would be like. Shirogane envisions Kaguya as blushing, shy, and conventionally cute, whereas Kaguya (thankfully) envisions herself taking absolute dominance over Shirogane (which plenty of people should see coming as a character trait after the anime's very first scene). The bad news about this is that their two fantasies are at odds. The good news about this is that the mangaka has fantastic taste -- you can learn a lot about a storyteller based on the characterization of a love interest or lead character of the author's preferred gender.

In the event that the two of them become an actual couple, I wonder how on Earth they'll reach a compromise as to how they'll treat each other. Perhaps they will have to figure that out before they can even get that intimate.

I appreciate that we get to see both of their perspectives. It hammers home how everyone has a different truth in regards to what they desire and what they experience, and the show does not hold back when it comes to showing just how different these truths can be -- such as a certain lunch-themed sequence that I will talk about later. This works to great dramatic and comedic effect.

That said, when you spend your time fantasizing about what could happen instead of actually taking action, time is not so friendly to you.

Half a year passes.

Figure 1.1.4: Two geniuses dedicate their pride to wasting their life and energy.

Immediately, I got the impression that whoever wrote this segment of the story knows what they're doing. This is too real. And by "too real", I mean I very much appreciate the realism. How many of us have waited for ages (or for eternity) to confess our feelings to a specific someone?

This is the curse of having a crush and being incapable of acting on it. It's also why I hate having crushes.

Manufacturing affection in others, AKA the extraction of vulnerability

Figure 1.1.5: A plan is devised to weaponize jealousy in the name of affection.

To express your truest feelings means being vulnerable. That implies taking a risk and feeling responsible for any potential consequences of rejection, as well as putting our dignity on the line. It would be so much easier for the object of our affection to make themselves vulnerable instead. So instead of being direct and honest, we act indirect. We drop hints. We act suggestively, but not explicitly. We may even place them in situations where we think they are more likely to confess. If they don't pick up on it, we can pretend we didn't mean anything by it. That way, we don't have to risk our dignity. We can just wait for them to make the move.

It sucks.

Incidentally, it sucks even more when both you and your love interest are thinking that way.

It sucks infinitely more when both you and your love interest are COMMITTED to thinking that way.

Someone has to break the deadlock, whether that's immediately or eventually.

If this show isn't one of those romcoms where the status quo never changes ever (judging by the quality of writing, I have faith that it isn't), then at some point, either Shirogane or Kaguya is going to have to be explicit about how they really feel. And it's going to feel scarier to them than anything else they've ever done.

It's gonna be great.

If we could all grow up and live in environments where it's safe and encouraged for all of us to be honest about how we feel and what we want, surely love would be much less painful for so many people.

Chaos theory

Figure 1.1.6: If your prospective lover won't protect you, then your friend definitely will.

Chika is the ideal wild card and agent of chaos in this arena of love.

From a writing perspective, Chika is immensely useful. The mangaka probably could have gotten by without a third character in the mix, but she serves as a catalyst and an unknown element, able to create unpredictability and subversion of expectations. For a comedy-oriented story, this is invaluable.

Blissfully unaware of the mental turmoil that plagues our two lovesick dorks, she is able to unintentionally invalidate whatever schemes that Kaguya or Shirogane spent so much mental energy on, which adds extra comedy and tension for the audience. She is also an effective vehicle for Kaguya's jealousy and projection, as seen in the lunchbox scene which I have so graciously foreshadowed.

Figure 1.1.7: We have confirmed visual on an unidentified fourth person. Chekhov would love this. From their posture, I wonder if they'll be a gloomy character?

Misunderstandings and assumptions

I've heard that most interpersonal conflicts in life emerge from misunderstandings. In the absence of communication, assumptions are born and give rise to misunderstandings.

You may know where I'm going with this. Let's talk about the lunchbox sequence.

Figure 1.1.8 (not pictured because tumblr wishes to deny me of my image spam): Kaguya is too prideful to admit she thinks that a couple is doing something cute.

Figure 1.1.9: Pride is considered a sin for a reason.

From a writing perspective, I was impressed by the lack of romantic intentions in Shirogane in this whole sequence. Not once did he try to get Kaguya to show vulnerability to him. Instead, Kaguya is the only one spinning the situation in a romantic way, while Shirogane's driving force is the misunderstanding that Kaguya is looking down on him for what he eats. Because of this misunderstanding, Shirogane doubles down and makes his food even better, making the situation even more complicated and more stressful for Kaguya. This was definitely my favorite comedy sequence from the first episode.

I appreciate that the show has demonstrated the ability to create these scenarios where one of the characters doesn't even have love on their mind, but there are still romantic thoughts coming from the other character which drives the drama. It gives me a lot of faith in the variety this show will have to offer, and makes me excited to watch more.

When it comes to comedy rooted in misunderstandings, it is important to have miscommunication or lack of communication. In order to resolve a misunderstanding, you need to talk about it. For a pairing as dysfunctional as Kaguya and Shirogane, expecting healthy communication sounds highly unreasonable, which makes them prime material for a whole world of misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are rooted in assumptions about what the other person meant when they said something or made a certain gesture or expression. When Kaguya glared at Shirogane and his food, he didn't even think to ask "What's the matter?" He just made an assumption about how she felt. I wonder if trying to understand Kaguya's feelings would be considered a sign of weakness by Shirogane?

A prerequisite to initiating an emotional conversation is the desire to understand or be understood by the other person -- assuming that your assumptions haven't already built a narrative for you. It is far easier to make assumptions than it is to attempt any sort of understanding.

In the end, Shirogane fled, unwilling to confront or attempt to understand the intense and passive-aggressive Kaguya. Kaguya feels that she cannot directly ask to try his lunch, so perhaps this is the closest she can get to initiating such a conversation with him at this time. Despite their mind games where they imagine the reactions of their opponent, they still have a lot of difficulty understanding each other.

I am curious to see if this prospective couple's communication skills and emotional intelligence will improve over the course of the story.

The burden of potential romance

Figure 1.1.10: Even the infallible genius Kaguya succumbs to superficial jealousy. It's "mind over matter" versus "matter over mind". That's how the saying goes, right?

Chika is a free spirit, able to ask Shirogane for whatever she wants without being neurotic. That is the power of not being bounded by a crush. Kaguya, who lacks that degree of freedom, briefly loathes her for experiencing something that Kaguya cannot ask for. It's amazing how much someone's feelings for a friend can change without a single word being spoken between them. All it takes is an action, unintentional or not, combined with the raw strength of insecurity. Just as quickly, the status quo can return back to normal too, with the act of properly making up.

To Chika, asking for food from someone doesn't mean anything at all, whereas with Kaguya, it is an admission of defeat. In that sense, a relationship that will only ever be platonic brings peace of mind, whereas a relationship that can be potentially romantic brings leagues upon leagues of anxiety if the outcome is of great concern.

Love is neurotic.

Is love worth the pain? For some people, it is not. For others, the reward is immense -- but only if you can make sure your relationship with this person doesn't end up being a nightmare for your emotional health.

Love and self-identity

The final scene of the episode surprised me in a good way. It's a brief departure from the comedy, and reveals a more heartfelt side of the show.

Kaguya's servant asks her an insightful question. It is substantially more insightful than I would expect from any romcom: "If you fell in love some day, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love?" I found myself immediately curious to hear Kaguya's answer, since I knew it would be highly informative about her character.

"If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion." Even in the realm of love, Kaguya seems precise and calculating. It's as if she hesitates to give a straight answer, but then she confirms: "Of course I would go."

Figure 1.1.11: "Please understand."

It is not embarrassment or rejection that Kaguya fears; it is the absolute destruction of her identity and sense of self. Kaguya is the daughter of a family that practically runs the country. In her mind, everyone yearns for her and wishes to serve her. Turning that around and reaching out to another person to express her own desire would be a direct contradiction of that. It is probably a similar situation for Shirogane, where the infallible self-image he has built up is being put at risk during his romantic duels against Kaguya.

Kaguya clearly feels trapped. She and Shirogane see each other as threats to be conquered, but in reality, they both share a mutual enemy that is much more imposing and insidious: their own simultaneous disgust at the idea of vulnerability.

Their freedom is dominated by their insecurities, and so, even despite their impressive stature, they are still very human. Their upbringing that has lead them to become so accomplished may be more of a curse than a blessing, due to the resulting pride and self-image they likely feel pressured to uphold.

It is hard to cast aside a lie that you have bought into for your whole life.

If our two protagonists wish to have a chance of establishing a healthy romantic relationship, they have a lot of their own demons to overcome first. If they cannot set aside their pride and reach mutual understanding, they have no hope.

Until then, they will both remain trapped in a hell of their own design, however tragically comedic it may be.

My hopes for this story's future

I can tell that the mangaka, unlike far too many writers all over the world, actually seems to have a solid understanding of romance and the conflict that arises within. I've watched too many anime that place huge focus on the "will they or won't they" crap which never runs any deeper than one or both of the characters being too embarrassed to just say what they're thinking, without any sort of convincing mental blocker. In that case, it's clearly just manufactured drama which is designed to pad out the story and waste your time rather than pose interesting questions and themes. In the case of Kaguya and Shirogane, the two of them have substantial communication issues which are depicted in a comedic yet mature way, which I have found engaging.

I very much hope that the show will more deeply explore the themes and questions surrounding the ideas of vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and superiority within relationships. Kaguya and Shirogane have been set up to be great vehicles for such exploration, and I hope the mangaka can capitalize on that, especially if our protagonists can confront these issues directly.

My impression is that the ending will make or break this story. If the mangaka can pull it off well, I can already believe the payoff will be hugely satisfying.

Of course, in order to get to that point, we'll have to see a certain something. It has to do with the most sacred word amongst romcom enthusiasts: "progress". Indeed, after spending chapters upon chapters watching two characters bumble around amidst the same exact status quo, those little signs of advancements in a relationship are highly rewarding.

Underneath all of their aggression, if we can see Kaguya and Shirogane slowly open up to each other and realize the benefits of vulnerability, I think we could witness something really beautiful and really emotionally cathartic.

I've still only seen one episode, but I believe the mangaka has laid a fantastic groundwork for a series and can do a great job developing upon what I've seen so far. On that note, I will surpass our prideful protagonists by opening my heart to this story and entrusting it with my vulnerability, believing it can deliver satisfying development and resolution. You can do it!

Closing thoughts

I did not expect to write so much about a single episode of an ANIME of all things, but here we are. If only I could conjure this kind of power back when I actually needed it in high school English class!

The first episode alone is already so rich with characterization and themes that I managed to find quite a lot to talk about. Given how much I found myself relating to the characters and some of their situations, it's clear to me how this show became so popular. Not only are the animation, direction, and writing excellent, but also many people can probably relate to love feeling like a battlefield.

I do not want to believe in the idea of winners and losers in relationships. That idea creeps into my head whenever I'm having trouble keeping the interest of a new date, and I find myself wondering where those thoughts even come from. Lately, I have been reflecting on the way I relate to other people. Perhaps I've started experiencing this show at a time in my life when I most needed it, and that's why I felt driven to write such a large analysis.

This show poses some very interesting questions about romance that I do not actually know the answer to at the time of writing. I do not know yet how much the show is actually going to explore these themes. Regardless, I appreciate how this show is helping me reflect, and I am curious to see if and how the mangaka will answer some of the questions brought about by the story's themes.

This is a show that I'll most likely have to pace myself with. There was so much to process in this first episode alone. If I went any faster, I'm not sure if I'd even catch all of the details and character moments. I'm excited to move onto the second episode soon.

A highly subjective footnote about my cultured tastes

I'm glad that Kaguya is a sadistic dom with a gentle and vulnerable side, solely on the basis of that being my favorite personality type in a love interest. It also helps that it makes Kaguya's fantasies that much funnier with Shirogane acting so out of character. I feel like this show was made for me.

What was I writing about again? Oh yeah, writing a gigantic wall of text about an anime romcom. Somehow, I spent an entire day on this essay. Hopefully someone got a kick out of it.