#beeg rant

[phylliswaterbury]

weiss voice: "Icarus fying too close to the sun, but it seems Daedalus our little mastercrafter over here, had some wax wings of his own, didn't he?"

anyways they interact in this fic and weiss is so funny

[aria0fgold]

Dashboard unfucker finally took effect after a day and it gave me a bit of whiplash.

[applejarjar]

I don't wanna go to work!

Doo da la doo doo!

Don't make me!!!

[frogchiro]

I JUST KNOW THAT JEBRAEL IS SO FUCKING HUNG I JUST KNOW IT

Horny rant aside I am a firm believer that he would all nice and gentle with you just cus he's so big💞

YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS

jebrael is so big and beefy and for what?? plus he's a canon dilf so...

fem!reader, smut, beeg beeg partner, cum marking <3

ofc he would be all nice and caring and gentle with you <3 but he can't help himself; he's very well aware that he's so so big, much bigger than you and could easily harm you unintentionally, so he always makes sure to be extra gentle with you, be it daily or in bed <3

speaking of being in bed with jebrael be sure to be worshipped like a goddess <3 he'd be so careful with you, laying you out on the silks of your shared tent like the perfect delicious meal and prepping you for a long while until you're whining for him to do something but he knows he can't rush it bc he knows that his cock is so big and he really doesn't wanna hurt you :((

you'd feel the dull ache and stretch of your cunny for days after your first time with jebrael and after having to be on literal bed rest for like a day or two, be sure to be served like a queen by your big hubby as he'd so embarrassed by what he did and feels guilty for causing you pain, bless his heart

also on a lil sidenote...i think that while jebrael loves to cum inside you and watch as his creamy seed leaks out of your puffy hole, he loves to come on your tummy too </3 he knows that you'll whine up a storm the second he pulls his heavy throbbing cock out to rub himself on your wet folds until he cums all over your belly but you gotta understand him; nothing gets him more fired up than seeing you all tired out and panting, little tears of pleasure glinting in your eyes as he marks you in the most carnal way possible.

[konata-izumi-kinny-writes]

Rescue Bots x Reader romantic hcs

Seperate

[A/n: I know its weird that i like these four. Shish.]

Anyways here yall go.

Heatwave

Beeg frumpy man

Literally just picked you up and said, "I love you. You're mine now." And walked off with you

Hes a tsundere at first but grows softer the longer you're with him.

Fr he needs someone who'll listen to him rant or smth without making fun of him

Give this big boi a hug

He'll be confused, but he'll grow to like it

Kiss the big man.

He got BIG soft lips, well, big compared to you but you get the point.

You may be wondering how the flip they're soft.

The answer is, 'a flip ton of bendy cords and fuel lines layered with some memory foam and waterproof carbon fiber cloth' (same goes for the others)

Another thing you can do is pepper his face plates with kisses

Automatically starts blushing.

VERY protective and lowkey jealous

He carries you around like a baby. Theres no reason for it, thats just what he does. If Kade has any snarky remarks to say about it, you bet Heatwave is gonna clap back with something better.

Treats you like glass.

You're just so teeny tiny compared to him and he doesn't want to hurt you.

He'll feel absolutely terrible if he does.

Despite all of that though, he does generally treat you like a normal person. As well as letting you have your own life.

Do NOT make self deprivating jokes around this dude. For multiple reasons.

1, they make him stressed and sad (he won't admit that hes sad in front of the others tho)

2, It automatically triggers him to be even MORE protective

3, Heatwave will aggressively tell you how much he loves you and how pretty/handsome you are

For example,

'*Squishes your face with his fingers*, "Shush. You're fragging amazing. Say anything like that again, and i'm snuggling you for the entire godamn day."'

He doesn't yell at you though. Just has an aggressive tone.

He does the same for any insecurities you have too.

Oh, and he means every word he says when it comes to his bellicose praises.

"...I warned you, Dear."

*proceeds to pick you up in his hands and lay down somewhere while holding you against his chassis*

LOTS of kisses. Like for real you'll be out of breath when he's done with you.

It doesn't end there either.

He sometimes puts you in the passenger seat if there's an emergency so he can still keep an eye on you.

Depends on the emergency

He gets angrier than usual if you're the one in danger, he only calms down once you're safe.

Chase

He loves and supports you so much aaa-

He was VERY blunt when he confessed to you

"(Name). Forgive me for saying but I have fallen in love with you, and wish for you to be my conjunx endura. You don't have to feel the same, but you have the right to know."

He was lowkey surprised when you said you felt the same

Chase proceeded to kneel down and pull you into a hug. You responded with hugging him back along with a kiss on the faceplates, the rest is history.

He loves any kind of affection you give him, just don't use sarcasm, he can't pick up on it.

His love language is usually physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time

Chase only wants three things from you throughout this relationship.

Your happiness, your affection, and your safety.

Though he does want to keep you safe he's not really overprotective.

He insists on carrying you if you're somewhere where one of them could step on you.

You used to go on patrol with him...

Until you almost got merc'd by a haywire lawn mower.

Since then you stay at base, and he always looks forward to seeing you run up to him when he gets back.

Hes not a fan of scary movies, but he'll be fine if you're holding his hand or hugging him.

Bring an inhaler, you'll need it for how much he'll make you laugh

At this point he's still trying to learn human culture... that (un)fortunately includes slang

"(Name), look. I have acquired an 'annelid on a string'"

"Dearest conjunx, what is 'Goated with the sauce' and why does a caprine have a condiment?"

"(Name), what does it mean to 'simp' for someone?"

Whether you feed this fire or not is up to you.

Pet names include; Dearest, Honey, Love, My Light, My Conjunx Endura, ....scrinkle (I'm not sorry)

Despite the mixups with slang, hes still pretty damn blunt.

Not to mention, even with how monotonous Chase is pretty romantic when hes talking to you.

This means that you can tell that he's being honest whenever he starts whispering sweet nothings to you.

And Chase mean everything he says.

And he always looks you in the eyes when he says one specific line, just so you know he really means it.

"I love you"

Blades

Oml hes so friggin nervous.

He didn't confess to you... Kade did

He heard Blades talking to Dani about you so he decided to mess with him.

"HEY (NAME), BLADES TOTALLY HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU!!"

"NO I DON'T, SHISH!!!"

He only admitted it once you said you felt the same

"...you do!? This isn't a cruel joke right?... I.. love you too."

He leaned down and gave you a kiss on the forehead

HES SO SWEET TO YOU

Lots of snuggles, hand holding, kisses, hugs, carrying you around, you name it!

Flip, he loves touching you in general.

You're just so squishy compared to his kind, he can't help but be enamored

Big touch-starved snugglebug

He likes watching tv with you on his chest

Sometimes the baking shows he comes across motivate him to bake something for you.

Half the time its good, half the time it isn't.

Pet names are; Sweetie, Honey Bunny, Cupcake, Lil Squisha, and My Spark if he's feeling really romantic

Don't yell at him please :(

He will be more anxious and sad if you do.

Its enough from others, it hurts more if its from you.

Unless you're happy and excited. He'll be yelling with you.

Very protective and jealous

He isn't too overbearing with it though

Hes just nervous and scared

Nervous about something/someone hurting you, and scared that someone will take you from him.

Thats why he doesn't take you with him on missions, even with how much he misses you.

Please comfort him when hes scared, he REALLY needs it.

Blades loves your laugh so much

He'll find the cheesiest jokes to say just to get the smallest noise out of you.

He'll be very impressed with whatever talent you have, and will try his best to support you.

KISS THE BEEG NERVOUS BOIBOI

He needs it... badly.

Will immediately turn blue and get extremely flustered, but he loves it and won't stop you

He gives you little trinkets he finds at random... well, they're little to him.

"Y/N! I got something for you :3" *Proceeds to place the biggest tumbleweed you've ever seen right in front of you*

Sometimes, Blades legit out of nowhere picks you and and carries you somewhere where nobody else is around

He proceeds to lay down and put you on his chest

Totally peppers your face in kisses before looking you right in your eyes and saying how much he loves you.

"I love you so much, Honey bunny. You're my little cupcake and i won't give you up for anything or anyone. I promise."

Boulder

Hes so sweet to you

It took some encouragement and advice from Gram for him to confess to you, but he did it!

He went out and picked a bouquet for you too

He sat down criss cross applesauce and told you how he felt after taking a deep breath.

"(Name)... I have.. developed some strong feelings for you.. romantic ones. You don't have to say yes, but i still want to ask.. will you please be my love for life?"

You of course said yes and gave him a hug before he could even give you your bouquet

He closed his eyes and returned the hug, all the while rubbing your back.

Dates at the zoo are a must. Obviously. Like cmon now. This is Boulder we're talking about.

Will bring you random plants and animals and ask if he can keep them

If not that, then he'll pick flowers and other plants for you. Ofc he makes sure theyre not spiky.

He paints for you.

GIVE HIM SMOOCHES

Theres nothing he loves more than your lips

Well- he loves your tummy too.

Its a tie

ANYWAYS-

SNUGGLE THE BIG HIMBO HE NEEDS IT

(They all do but you get the point)

Like Heatwave, he carries you like a baby. But he just does it because he thinks you're cute.

Like for real, to Boulder, you're the cutest little fleshy he's ever seen.

Until he sees a baby.

He looks at you with the most "🥺" expression ever

"[Name]-"

"No we're not having a baby, bubbas. Sorry"

"🥺"

His pet names for you are; Dearest, Bunny, My Flower, Small one, Sweetie, Dove, Angelfish, Wifey/Hubby/Lovey (whichever you prefer or identify as)

He loves you, but no. You can't go w him on emergencies.

Literally on the verge of tears if you're the one in danger

If that happens, prepare to be snuggled for 3 days straight.

[knizuu]

DECIDED A REBLOG WOULDN’T BE ENOUGH- // FANG RANT PT 2

Ok ok ok, WE BACK AND CHATTIN’. TIME TO GRAB POPCORN OR WATER IDK TO ENJOY MY RANT <33 +uhh warning ig: get ready for BEEG over analyzation lol 

.

.

.

Soooo

Notice the color used on the arrows? Symbolizing yellow and red? If you see this conversation as a mockin’ful, you can relate the meanings. If used negatively [seems fitting for this scene], you get this: Yellow meaning cowardice, and red meaning warning. 

Honestly, this is VERY fitting, knowing how scared Fang is in Fang’s Big Break. The amount of fear he gets in Superstars as a whole really makes you worry for him. Bean is pretty explanatory, he’s “getting tired of Fang’s antics”. Reason for Bark not having the arrow, I'm not sure, possibly because he’s not verbally arguing, or he’s not as mad as the others. Either way, I think Bark is just more caring about the situation. With this hypothetical situation, I think Fang is just scared that he’ll be alone. So he turns reactive in the face of a jerky persona. For Bean, he’s gaining more independence. I know this rant isn’t about ‘im but I really do realize how much Bean is getting as a character. He’s speaking more, asking the questions, getting sassy more on screen. 

Okay, now let’s get into connecting Fang’s Big Break with Fang the Hunter. I’m claiming that FTH is before FBB, because I’m sure that’s the motion for it. Looking at the images below, don’t they look similar? Somewhat? Now I want you to mash those frames up, with the speech including the thoughts.

“Bean?! Bark?!” [Get your act together! You’re repeating your past mistakes! You’re better than this! You have to be!] Both are in distress, and it shows how much content is missing from the cover [saying that Fang is just what he shows to be]. And even if both situations are VERY DIFFERENT: See how that helps my case even more. In FTH, he’s with his crew and now they’re gone. Of course he’s gonna yell out for them, that’s the first instinct. This is expected, if you lost the people near you, of course you’re gonna call for ‘em. Nothing deep is seen here, but for the right image, I differ. I say it over and over again, but he really is trying to be better. The context is, he’s on a hunt and he angered a bird who now is chasing him along with crushing his cork gun. A big difference between the situations is that he STARTED alone compared to becoming alone. With no one else in his mind, he’s gonna worry for himself. But he isn’t getting mad about being alone [at least, from what’s written], he’s not yelling for help, he has only himself to talk to. And what does he notify himself? “Get your act together”. He’s trying to stop his mistakes, whatever that may be. 

Let’s use that past sentence, and although it ails Hooligan fans [INCLUDING ME AHHHHHH </3], let’s imagine Bean, Bark, and Fang harshly separated. If you put that hypothetical with Fang’s thoughts, you can imagine he’s telling himself to stop being careless.+SINCE I’M STILL MAKING THIS HAPPY, THIS HYPOTHETICAL DEF HAS BEAN AND BARK COMING BACK <33

From sources, people push others away so that they won’t get hurt. Well, you could use that to correlate with Fang’s behavior. 

This is what Sega calls him, a jerk, “our favorite jerky jerboa!”, even in Archie, “And a total jerk”. This actually lines up with pushing others away, making this term more seemingly true. Going to the main point, you can see why Fang would want to stop acting this way. It led him to be alone, without “his boys”, without the zaniness that his gang brings him. It’s not the same anymore. (this is where I insert my shipping blast btw)

 In Superstars, this is correct! We don’t see Bean or Bark, we’re introduced to Trip [a WHOLE NEW gal], Fang is working very close to Eggman, and heck, his tech got upgraded.

*okay rando thing: In FTH, he wishes the Marvelous Queen gets the upgrades she needs to take Sonic down. In Superstars, he gets more than that, he gets his own robot ALONG with tons of upgrades for the MQ…if FTH is before Superstars, would he feel achievement? Somehow? +yknow, until it blows up [yeh, i'm not joking] 

BACK TO LE COMIC, …oh ye I technically went over everything. Or at least, what goes into his mentality,..UHH

Let’s look at Trip rq. Trip the Lizard gets an entire arc in Superstars! Her dynamic between her and Fang is simple, Trip tries to help or Trip tries to do what Fang says and Fang just relents and belittles her. Once Trip gets kicked by Fang, [Trip had to gull to stop Fang] she gains her heroism and sides with Sonic. Fang gets defeated by her anddddd ye that’s the last of Fang in that story. Now, I'm gonna show how sweet she was, even if Fang wouldn’t return the respect. 

I know Sonic Channel isn’t usually taken as canon, but like SHE GIVES HERSELF THE BAD PANCAKE, LIKE AWHH<33 And she doesn’t give up when given commands, tho that can be because she’s verbally forced to. And in the left image, Fang isn’t mad or annoyed about her behavior. Obviously it’s a calm setting, +he’s getting something good. Gosh, he looks surprised, or a little concerned,  because “Why is she still being like this after the stuff I push her through?” It’s not new to him though, it’s like Bean and Bark all over again. They stick together through many things. But the more he doesn’t let others in his life, he’ll just get hurt more and more. This is where I'd say Fang should try to listen to himself, “Get your act together” “You’re better than this”, but in the sense he should open up, that he should be more emotional and let his mind speak. I think that explains why he’s unlikable to some, he’s just reacting madly with no reason. And if I were to find a reason, it’d be because he’s not getting what he deserves, a close bond. And bringing up the sad fact, if he doesn’t let himself be himself, he’s not going to get what he needs. I swear, he’s regretting his choices, but it seems like he’s gone far. Trip could’ve helped but she moved sides. In FTH, Bean and Bark are staying, and I can only hope it STAYS.THAT. WAY. Cause like, Team Hooligan has been together for SO LONG, Bean and Bark are having fun with Fang, and Fang is leveled out with Bean and Bark. 

Ngl, this is supposed to be a “This is why the way he is” more than “He’s justifiable”, but I think my rant could give new insight as to why he’s not a horrible character. Especially when there’s so many others already avoiding an unlikable Fang, Fang Gang being my prime example :] cause we love the silly jerboa! We don’t STOP loving him, and we make sure of that. <33

[randomcrystii]

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR NEW EPISODE

so smg4 is finally back from his break with a new episode and i liked it, bc maryo content, cool, and the concept was pretty funny to me as well, though the family guy format (ig idk what to call it) wasn't really my cup of tea

the maryo va bit was also hilarious (i assume they got the guy who does his lines for songs). peter's appearances weren't really that funny to me though and if im being real, i legit thought the thing they were talking about was beeg smg4, like with how he acts i wouldn't be surprised if smg4 kept him in a chest lmao

also y'all i am going actually nuts like how hard is it to actually write meggy being nice to maryo like holy shit i am so tired of these two being seen with sibling relationship when meggy is being an absolute asshole to him

REALLY THO BC MEGGY AND MARYO GET ALONG COMPLETELY FINE IN MOVIES N STUFF (it's gotta be perfect n western spaghetti) BUT IN GENERAL? NOPE. LIKE I'D THINK SHE HATES HIM IF SHE WAS LIKE THIS WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO SMG4

sorry for my smol rant, probably just pissed bc i like maryo so much but still is it that hard to have meggy get along w maryo for once 😭

anyways i have nothing else to say so here are some silly maryo screenshots i got from today's episode

[tranny-fragrance]

beeg rant and ig vent under the read more about my grief and such about my friend that died nearly 2 months ago now; read at your own risk im just kinda rambling into the void to get my feelings out to no one in particular :3

there isn’t a single day where i have not thought of claire since her death and yet it never seems to hit

that’s she’s truly gone

no one seems to talk about it anymore; which i understand, like we can’t just wallow on it forever but

idk!!!

our friend died! like idk what else we could do but i still have the desire for…

something!

i wish she was more than a passing thought

a corpse in a coffin

in a grave

in a cemetery many many kilometres away

i remember her and though she will probably become less omnipresent in my thought i don’t think she will ever leave me

i am far from the only one affected by her death and even though i know that thought is inaccurate and self centred i feel so alone in this mourning

i just want to share this pain with someone i don’t knowwwwwwww

blegh :3

[batwritings]

Yes hi, hello, wattpad anon here (I fluctuate between anon and not, depends on the day and ask), I still use that site religiously still. It was the first thing I used to read fanfics on and then I migrated to tumblr and then A03. Ngl I know how to navigate all of them (ao3 with a leetol bit of difficulty occasionally) and like, everyone hates on wattpad but like I've found worse stuff on ao3 and tumblr then on that terrible site. (not even gonna call it a "hellsite" that's reserved for tumblr only /aff).

Atm in a twilight phase and my god there are some of the best written fics I've found recently (and some of the worst). Like I've found one that people would compare to A03 teir.

That fic I was reading I was like, I swear the reader has the Tim's (what my friends who have the autism call it (that or the tism)) and then I sent a ss to them and they were like that's so well written yeah the mc has the tims what's the A03 link and I was like besties it's from wattpad and they were all shocked.

Also wattpad is like A03. If you don't know how to use it you're screwed but you can learn. Like A03 people complaing thay can't use wattpad and tumblr but then saying shut up A03 is easy to use if you know how and I'm like it's the exact same for wattpad and tumblr.

- Tree

(sorry that was like a beeg rant/waffley thing)

I've rarely used Wattpad (as I think I've said by now). I'm not sure why as it seems much less...."hellsite" but I just never did!

Ayo?? That's awesome though! We stan good mental health and physical representation in works, especially if it's potentially by an author who has that representation.

No absolutely, Ao3 took me a while to figure out. .__.;; I blame it on me being old lol

[nomikkh]

If I don't put foundation on, I'm fairly pale but my skin has a reddish tint like "oh yeah, there's blood under there"... But if the foundation goes on it's fully "omg that person will combust if exposed to sunlight".

Also... Let me rant for a bit about lazy large vehicle drivers. This is a tangent post. I drive a Big Car, and as such I feel I have a duty to others. To be aware, to drive with precision, and to stay as undistracted as possible. All large car drivers have this duty in my opinion.

Do I make mistakes, yes. Do I occasionally forget my turn signal, yes. Have I been at fault in a fender bender, also yes. But I do my best to minimize mistakes and by gods my phone stays clipped in its holder at all times.

The number of times I've seen a Large Boat Car lazily drift into another lane with no turn signal, or straddle two lanes on a curve causing folks to abruptly slow down to avoid them enrages me to no end. This is why so many people hate trucks and SUVs. Most of us can't drive for shit. It's all "ME BEEG TRUCK MAKE ROOM FOR MY FAT BUTT".

I may drive like a bat out of hell and use on ramps like the beginning of a race track but I like to think I'm a precise bat. Most of the time, there isn't a vehicle around me I'm not aware of.

Oh, and turn signals. Turn signals are not not NOT for asking permission, they are for declaring action. Be aware of your vehicle's physical dimensions, find a spot you'll fit into, get to said spot, pop the turn signal and get on in there. At most the turn signal needs to be on for 15 seconds.

I said tangent post. I've been holding in these petty grievances in for too long.

[theearloftophats]

HI ITS ME THE MOST ANNOYING SUBNAUTICA FAN

im procrastinating on an important paper for school.

i want to talk abt call of the void.

im sorry im just so fucking mentally unwell about these games and im miserable abt it. please dont read this im just going on an angry rant /hsrs

Its FINE if you want to make a fan dlc thats fuckign awesome but saying its meant to be something that the devs wouldve made and then fucking. immediately saying youre going to rewrite some of the lore is so- what. why. and in the guys intro video too it he shares some of the precursor concept art and i- 0oooooghh i swear to god if he decides that actually THATS what they look like im going to explode we HAVE canon architects they ALREADY EXIST. i dont fucking understnad subnautica fans theres so much more to this game than"oouughh beeg feesh" and its so IRRITATING that nobody seems to engage with the lore. like. ugh i feel like so much of the fandom just REJECTED all of the architect lore that was given in BZ just cus the game wasnt recieved well. i cannot understate how angry it makes me to hear youtubers still call them precursers. thats not what theyre CALLED anymore.

Void exploration is a HUGE gold mine of ideas and its SUCH a WASTE to tack it on to the origional story. it makes no FUCKING SENSE for Riley to want to go into the void they just want to go HOME. they want OFF THE PLANET. thats the point of the game. and it UNDERMINES the game to add void exploration just for the Gameplay part of things.

Alterra has MULTIPLE research facilities built by Below Zero. it would make a lot more sense to make a WHOLE NEW STORYLINE for your big project. That way you can add all your new submarines and give them a reason for being available instead of just "uuhh the fragments of this sub are on these tiny floating islands waay out in the void" that makes no SENSE the fragments for the other subs are FROM THE AROURA CRASH. ough my god i hate it im so angry. the concept doesnt even engage with the void!!!!!! its all just a decending staircase of chunks of rock,,,

it would make a lot more sense for alterra to create a dedicated void research mission, that way you can have a whole game set in the void, with specialized equipment, a new protag, etc without encroaching on what made the first game so special.

DONT EVEN GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THE TEASER AT THE END OF THE OVERVIEW VIDEO. OBVIOUSLY I DONT KNOWWHAT THEYRE IMPLYING TOTALLY BUT OUGHHG.. "maybe you'll find a familiar face" YOU BETTER BE TALKING ABOUT A DIFFERENT ARCHITECT CUS IF YOUR PLANNING TO- MOVE AL-AN- UGH. HES NOT THERE!!! HES BEEN IN THAT DAMNED SANCTUARY FOR OVER A THOUSAND YEARS WE KNOW WEHRE HE IS. UGH. UGH. OH IM SO AWFUL IM SO SORRY IM SO SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM ITS ACTUALLY REALLY BAD /SRS

the concept behind it is SO COOL and i love how much effort is being put into it, thats fuciing aweseom /srs my problem with it is that it feels like theyre trying to bend and twist subnautica to be like, THEIR game instead. i just- ugh it bothers me how much subnautica fans try and make it something its not. maybe i just. engage with the game completely differently than everyone else idk. Ill keep following the project and im sure ill have more opinions n shit lol.

what the fuck is wrong with me

[euponia-scribis]

small & beeg spoilers for new indiana jones movie ! mostly inconsequential and just me ranting but beware!!

okay so if you're reading this you prolly watched it so u know what im talking abt

the one scene in the parade when they show the trumpets? and it's playing a trumpet fanfare and whatever, yeah, THAT'S NOT THEM PLAYINGggGG

sorry, it's just. ajsfghdflkcvk

the guy on the left was the one i really noticed-- he clearly was not roll-stepping because he was bouncy as shit. i can appreciate the attempt to make it appear as though he was using the correct embouchure but the issue was that the fuckin mouthpiece was not connected!! to! his ! mouthhh!!

and, also the fact that, y'know, one typically plays the trumpet with two hands holding the instrument and the other actuALLY moving the valves

anyway onto the other thing i needed to let out.

that one scene where indiana is fuckin on his hands and knees on the tarmac looking at the airplane mads mikkelsen is gonna fly into the time fissure?

im gonna be honest i had a moment where the only thing goin on in my head was that indie was doing the goddamn babygirl pose

which is crazy and tells you a lot about how the internet (but mostly tumblr in this case) has affected me as a person because it's been months. legit months since i honest-to-god touched this site/app and saw a drawing of someone's blorbo in the babygirl pose. help me.

(composed and brought to you via my laptop because i stand by my decision to uninstall tumblr from my phone)

[aj-lethal]

Time to show you a new character I've been working it in an on/off basis for months: Sister Elena, a nun that was possesed by a huge hellhound demon that was exorcised from her body in a non-orthodox way (read: beating the crap out of her) and now she's this beeg holy pupper.

Shoutout to @_ZETH0_ for the character idea that stemmed from an edit of one of his memes/rants

[mariusroyale]

i physically cannot read a fic with first person pov. the way i retch n gag at it.. like. no.

yknow what while we’re at it ill talk abt my list of fanfic icks (fanficks) i get. i used to tolerate this stuff freely in like 2015-16 (when i had no taste smh) now i have zero patience lmao

- shit grammar: i cannot. like i can’t read fics with poor grammar and punctuation, it immediately renders the story unreadable (some exceptions are if im desperate and it’s like the only fic in this v obscure tag n fandom).

- no spacing in paragraphs: SEPARATE UR PARAGRAPHS PEOPLEEEE. tiptop!!! if you create an entire block of text it’s now INCOMPREHENSIBLE and you’ve wasted ur time writing it bc who’s going to read that????

- this also goes for not spacing dialogue properly like this,

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head while asking. She answers absentmindedly, “Like this. Marius can’t read if it’s formatted like this cos it’s supposed to be a new line when it’s a new person speaking.” He pauses in thought, recognising how unappealing it looked. “Oh.”

i can’t bruh it’ll make me stop reading- I MEAN LOOK AT IT. sometimes it’s fucking impossible to tell who’s speaking when! PLS. if a new character is speaking!!! ADD A NEW PARAGRAPH

- if it’s just. Out of character- like shit characterisation: people pls, most characters have dimensions to them! give them better dialogue and actions for the love my ass, you know DAMN well this character would never do that shit in canon

- first person pov (had to talk abt this one again i can’t describe how much it makes me BLEH) like!!! it’s so!! very rarely can i ever enjoy a story written in first person anyway! i don’t care what you think?? lmao?? no human would ever write their daily routine

“I noticed my [insert hair colour] hair possessed a sheen today, which meant I hadn’t washed it in a while.” like? no!

even then if u wrote it like a normal human

“My hair was way too greasy this morning. It’d been awhile since I washed it.”

i still hate it- like if i want details, i want it from an omnipotent, otherworldly being that doesn’t exist outside of narrating

frankly idk why i chose that as an example but you know what i mean: having details is great in third person but so meh in first

- shitty pacing within a brief interaction

i no longer have the patience anymore dude. had i read this in 2015, when i didn’t read well written fics, you’d have me hooked but

i don’t want to read a fic that takes forever to get through and by this i mean: the way you write paragraphs and insert dialogue in between

if there’s an important scene happening, i want to see it. wanna feel it.

if i see a wall of text in between the dialogue which shows Character A’s thoughts im leaving

like you can tell the author kinda just forgot what their original point was and started waffling? like u know??

i once read a fic in 2015-16 (im so sorry it was phan) where the fucking chunks of texts between dialogues were literal PARAGRAPHS. by that point i had forgotten what they were saying cos it was just

“Hey… are you alright?”

A looked at B worriedly. B didn’t know what to say. A had a lot on their plate already. Maybe it was best to not say anything for now. (Like here? This is a good place to stop and continue what B would say. But author just kept going.) B knew how A would react, he wasn’t good with emotions. After all, A had never been truly open with his emotions with people, how could B expect him to do it with him, of all people? He faintly recalled the time he saw A quietly sniffle during a movie and asked if he was alright, only to be met with a brief dismissal. A wouldn’t understand. (AND IT WOULD BE A BIGGER PARAGRAPH THAN THIS!! AND THERE WOULD BE TWO MORE AFTER IT!)

“I-I’m okay.”

Neither of them missed the way B stuttered, but-

AND IT JUST KEPT FUCKING GOING. THIS INTERACTION IN REAL LIFE WOULD HAPPEN IN TEN SECONDS. CANT THIS INTROSPECTION HAPPEN AFTER??? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO KNOW EVERY DETAILED THOUGHT THAT HAPPENS IN THEIR HEAD IN THE TWO SECONDS THEY PAUSE TO THINK OF A RESPONSE???????

(to clarify, do this introspection in between dialogue, sure. but if you’re gonna make it huge and waffled and unnecessary stOPPP. MAKE IT SHORT. OR JUST PUT IT AFTER THEIR INTERACTION IDFK)

- when the summary has me at the edge of my seat and the first few words of the fic has me vomiting

like DAMMIT. you HAD ME

i was SO EXCITED for this premise it’s intriguing and i was gonna read and!!!

your grammar is shit!! DAMMIT

[halion-halion-aito]

anyways idk i just find it interesting that bart only had two canon and explicit love interests (i'm not counting rose in this, since they were only hinted at in the main continuity and married in some elseworld???), of which one was his best friend and the other was her copycat but older.

[switchdrift]

also disliking dogs and being afraid of them is not and should not be treated as something to be ashamed of.