#been a long ass few days im slowly getting there tho

[mooodyblue]

venting in the tags don't mind me 🤥

[zyonsay]

Begrijp je me? JOOST KLEIN

Summary: You get home to discover an upset Joost.

Reader: Genderneutral

Warnings: Mention of struggling with mental health, sadness BUT theres comfort!

Now playing: 'Antwoord" by Joost Klein

AN: Hi guys! I had this idea a few days ago, never got around to writing it tho. Assignments are kicking my ass and im knee deep in a psychiosis. This one is relatively short (1k words) but more self indulgent! Love yall, take care <3

#Justice for Joost

A dark, heavy blanket was already draped over the city. Your job often required you to work late evenings, which was unfortunate but in your current situation not avoidable. Together with the support of a good friend, you had already sent out a few job applications some time ago, but nothing has come out of that yet.

Ik moest wachten, wachten, wachten op een antwoord

Your shoes quietly clacked on the wet sidewalk. The stars shone brightly but were also accompanied by heavy rain. Sighing tiredly, you pulled your hood further over your head, as if it would do anything against the water drops being catapulted right into your visage. Maybe it was time to take out your bike from the garage again.

Keek in de spiegel, zag de vraag en het antwoord

The water crawled up your jeans slowly but surely, having reached your calves already. The wet fabric slapping against your leg was a sensory nightmare, you were cursing every single inch you’d have to walk till arriving at your apartment building.

Ik moest wachten, wachten, wachten op een antwoord

With hurried steps you raced up the staircase. Number 2.06, Number 2.06. A content and slightly exhausted huff escaped you as the three black numbers finally graced your field of view.

Dans met de duivel, die heeft mij allang door

Your keys rattled as you locked the door. Usually there’d be a salt lamp lit on the coffee table in the living room, but this evening everything was dark and quiet. Not that it was usually loud, but it felt almost like the life was drained out of the apartment.

Maar we blijven grinden tot het einde

That was until you heard a quiet sniffling sound. You discarded your soaking wet shoes along with your equally wet socks at the front door. Like a bloodhound you tracked down where the source of the noises came from. But you barely had to walk out from the hallway to find a huddled up Joost on the sofa.

Ik woonde in Katwijk, dat was lijden

You quickly rushed to his side, slinging your arms around the heap of blankets, under which there was a man hidden. Somewhere. With gentle hands you stripped down the blankets, revealing your teary-eyed boyfriend. His eyes were reddened and glossed over with tears. As much as he tried hiding it, you picked up on the light quiver of his lips and the sniffling from his nose.

Ze willen niet kijken naar de feiten, spijtig

“Come here.” His arms slid around your torso, holding you close. You nestled your face into the mess of blonde hair atop his head. “I’m here.”, you pressed a sweet peck against his forehead, while holding him in your arms.

Maar ik blijf mezelf te allen tijde, begrijp je me?

Joost had been struggling with his mental health for a while now. From time to time, he’d get really bad. In moments like this he needed you the most. Your embrace for sure didn’t fix his problems, but they sure made it feel more conquerable. You knew how helpless one can feel, how you want to be isolated while craving love, how you hate everything but don’t want to.

Begrijp je me?

Joost pressed closer to you, tears now flowing again. You squeezed him, letting him hold onto you for as long as he needs to. “How about I make us some tea?”, you rubbed his back in smooth, slow motions. His hum was muffled by your own figure. Joost loosened his hold on you, his blue eyes searching yours. Your hands cupped his face while you left sweet kisses along his forehead, cheeks and finally the tip of his nose. “I’ll need to get those pants off first though.” He looked down at the soaked jeans and grimaced in a disgusted manner. A sigh of relief left you as you slipped the fabric off, leaving you in your underpants. Joost tangled his fingers in yours and you pull him towards the kitchen.

Begrijp je me?

The kettle whistled a distant song, while you once again wrapped Joost in an embrace against the counter. Two cups stood on the surface, both with a tea bag inside. One of them had one sugar cube, the other had two and a half.

Begrijp je me of begrijp je me niet ?

The blonds heart seemed to beat with yours, he inhaled your scent. Besides your usual cologne you smelled like… you. He huffed contently. The light on the kettle died down and you broke the hug to pour the steaming water into the cups. While your front was turned towards the cups, Joost had found the opportunity to cling to your back. Your warmth, your scent, everything about you was calming to him. Some people need etheric oils to feel at ease, but you were like his own substance. He was addicted to you, your emotions and your words.

Begrijp je me?

You turned around in his arms, smiling at him. God, how he loved that smile. “Wanna talk about it?” He shook his head, “I’m too exhausted. Maybe tomorrow.” He lazily smiled at you, inching closer to your face and then pressing a sweet, short peck to your lips.

Begrijp je me?

“Alright.”, you offered him another loving kiss. “Let’s just enjoy this tea and then head to bed, sounds like a plan?” He still had his signature smile all over his face, his dimples showing and his eyes lighting up again. He loves how you get him, how you understand him in every way.

Begrijp je me of begrijp je me niet?

[mara-ganger]

Hey! I recently found your channel with the weird art mixed media vid and the recent nekojiru one. Its honestly a breath of fresh air seeing hour long videos that are more than just surface level discussions that could've been a 20-30 minute vid. That being said your most recent Nekojiru vid re-sparked a creative desire that's been clouded for months and im slowly getting back into it. Im curently juggling two video scripts, both on things I'm very into and passionate about wanting to talk about. Though I'm a little nervous that I'm gonna do what i always do and either burn myself out or half way through, realize its shit or just flat out not finish it. Again ive always wanted to make vids talking about shit i like but its putting my thoughts into writing and getting through that hurdle that i struggle with the most.

I just wanted to ask how you go about writing scripts for your vids and if there's anything you do to push yourself to, at the very least, getting the writing portion done since that's the area i have the most trouble in. Or just in general managing to translate your brain soup words into something coherent

Sorry for the majorly long ass ask, hope your having a good day :D

glad my stuff resonated with you so i'm extra sorry ahead of time, but you prolly picked the worst person to ask this lmao. there's no real secret to the method or anything, i tend to just hit my head against the desk day in day out and write with the hopes that what i got in the end isn't shit. typically stuff takes me a few months on average but the two vids you mentioned took me six and five months respectively, tho that's counting editing and recording and all that shit. when it comes to getting words out on paper, it's kind of an uphill battle for me and p. much every creator out there, it's just a matter of being bullheaded enough to stick with it and making sure you see it through all the way. i think a lot of people tend to be very particularly about their writing methods but for me it's just stream of consciousness, emotion-based more so than anything factually logical. sorry again for not being able to offer like meaningful advice but you've got this, i'm sure

[musiclover1013]

Tw: abuse, suicide and sh

Long ass vent!!:

I don't know where else to post because they have me everywhere else but I need to say something. My ex was and still is abusive. No he didn't hit me, but he sure did a lot. Before we were dating he was amazing, we were friends for so long, we had such a good friendship. He had an "abusive" gf when we met. I hated her. He broke up with her and got with me the same day. That should have been my first red flag but it wasn't. He started telling everyone I was "abusive" as a joke. Saying I hit him, we were online tho so I couldn't have. He slowly started ignoring me but talking to everyone else, he also started doing stuff and would tell people how I reacted but never what he did. It just got worse from there. He would constantly make me feel like shit, he would ignore me, make me angry on purpose, argue with me then say we weren't arguing and he wasn't mad to make me feel bad, told me shit was a joke when I got upset, wouldn't listen to me when I shared how I felt, gaslit me a lot. He even stood up for his gbf when she called me ugly. He made me feel crazy. I wasn't perfect either though. I was jealous a lot, didn't trust him and was getting upset with small things even when he did nothing. Well I found out he was showing our conversations outta context to make me look horrible, and if he can't show our conversation because he'd look bad then he just says one thing or completely lies. There were a few times he was in the right though. I was in hell for 6 months. I didn't break up with him sooner because I thought he was gonna kill himself or hurt himself really bad so I just stayed because I didn't wanna be responsible for his death, but I also felt like and still feel like the issues are my fault. Eventually I just said I was lesbian (I'm not im bisexual.) to break up with him. Now he's telling everyone I was abusive and they all believe him. His friends cussed at me,called me slurs, and basically harassed me. I told him to make it stop and he didn't. I asked his ex about their relationship and found out he did the same thing. I feel like I can't back myself up tho because he has SS but won't show the content behind them. I feel like this is my fault. Like I shouldn't have reacted. I'm having panic attacks everyday because of him and his friends. I know I shouldn't have been angry and jealous so much but it hurts so much. I just want this all to be over. Idk if this post was because I wanted to call him out completely, get help or just to vent but ya I'm done now.

[coloursofaparadox]

i am very very proud of my chronic fatigued ass slowly building up to an average of like 15-20k steps or like. 3x 1.5 hour hikes/dog walks a week over the last few months. part of my whole messed up body shtick (P.O.T.S.) means one of the best ways to reduce the impact is to exercise, with the fun catch 22 of it makes DOING that exercise feel much, much, much worse 🙃 but now that im finally on a combo of meds that more or less works for both physical and mental health, ive been really really enjoying getting outside and doing things with my dog, even despite feeling like shit a lot of the time lmao. over the last like....4 months? I've slowly built up from the bare minimum for him (slow half hour walk 3x a week + off leash time where I can more or less stand still) to now where we go on a medium intensity hike almost every week, plus 1.5hr walks to the local community centre park to weave our way through and find fun little obstacles to do agility on, and run around in the field.

and it hasnt been easy!! like the half hour walks at the beginning were really, really iffy a lot of the time on whether or not i felt like just sitting tf down and giving up at some point. but im finally where i need to be w/ mental health and meds where i can keep slowly improving and not do a massive burnout backslide, in very large part due to figuring out how to eat intuitively in a way that works for me for the fuckin first time in my life, and managing to actually eat consistently enough that i have energy throughout the day. unless i go a bit too hard and get hit with the Super Fun Post-Exertional Malaise, I think I've actually been consistent with this level of activity for a while now.

anyways i am proud of me even tho i did it mostly for Lucas's sake. he is so, so much happier and more content now that he's getting enough exercise and going out to do new things with me. on my end i am very very happy that i can walk that long and go on hikes and feel good after, even tho I'm not totally confident yet on how much it helps day-to-day with POTS stuff like standing too long, etc. I feel better though with daily stuff like grocery store trips and standing in line. same with some household chores that always used to really spike symptoms.

anyways. being gaslit by doctors and passing out on a skytrain at 16 -> diagnosed, properly medicated and eating healthily pipeline only took 12 years and a dog i would die for 🤝 lets go me

[saevus-brutalis]

— WIP Wednesday Thursday

tagged by; @katsigian thank you sm 😌 i've got qute a few WIPs, not necessarily art related but-

1. but i have this pic of Ragan that has been a WIP for idk how long but i started it in June 2022 and at this point i'm thinking of just redrawing the whole thing

2. attempting to slowly gather mods and resources to mod Vince in-game one day 🤡 so far im only gathering clothes, but i'm thinking of working on a custom complexion and tattoos for him sometime in the future 3. HUGE WIP project - making a comprehensive, full biography, timeline of events for Vincent (that noone but me will probably read fully). it's been stagnate for a while but yeah, need to get back to it. also thinking of making a character/muse profile/sheet kinda thing, so it's easy to navigate and not just a long ass word document

so far im only halfway through his whole life and some of these aren't fully filled, nicely written. i'm quite proud of his early life tho.

4. been working on 2984723198 kerry x vince fics since late 2020, half of them abandoned, half written or not up to date lore-wise; but i have a few that i'm currently working on the most: — ❝shoulder to cry on❞ — ❝kerry's collection of threnodes❞ or ❝you don't get to pick and choose❞ — ❝love on auction❞— ❝trouble at the marina❞ — ❝for old time's sake❞

— [description] — Having lived in Night City for over half the century V expected pretty much everything. His preem ride getting stolen despite best ani-theft tech installed into it, getting ripped off by a goddamn ripper or being poisoned by the only bartender he trusted in town, because someone bribed them to do it. Every possible scenario he had covered; every possible good or bad outcome. Nothing could've taken V by surprise at this point.

What he didn't expect though, not in a billion years, was to get a call from a number that has been silent for the past eight years.

"Hey V. Got one last jobs for ya."

Or in other words - Kerry asks V after 8 years apart to be his bodyguard again. Just like the good ol' days.

will they ever come one? maybe? hopefully?

[martian-garden]

(Brief content warning for appetite disregulation and talking about eating habits)

So in light of ADHDAlien's cool posts and some of my ADHD friends and family starting college or being newly diagnosed, let me, a whole ass adult (somehow?) with a job, also share what has helped me with my ADHD so far! Conversation time!

Background: I was diagnosed at 7 and prescribed methylphenidate 18mg ER, starting immediately upon diagnosis and having maintained the same dose except for during college, where I scooted up to 20.  I'm very responsive to medication of any kind, and higher doses make me uncomfortable physically, so be aware that this is the babiest of baby doses.  Ritalin has a stronger effect with less intensity than Adderall, and for people who have severe symptoms, Adderall may be the only one that works.

In high school I began doing organizational tutoring to better manage my course load, and that was the single most helpful thing I did, but that may not be accessible to anyone.  So here are some things that I've employed on my own.  They may not be helpful for everyone, but in the event that they are...

-Time is fake, and the sooner you realize it, the more sense it'll make.  We can't connect the current events in our brain to the end result, (usually done via anticipatory dopamine, which is literally what ADHD is: lack of that) and ergo we can't process that 2pm is [_______] from 3pm and we need to get ready at 2:15 or something...  Like what.  That's fake.  The time it takes to complete a task is also fake.  Divide your tasks into days/assign sub tasks based on either 1. necessary order they need completed in, and 2. energy, instead of based on estimated time.  For me that's been far more intuitive.  

-Body Doubling or inviting people over as an external motivator to do a task.  Invite a friend over to motivate yourself to clean your room or make food.  Either bc they show up and help or even just tell you to do it, or bc you want your space to be nice when they've arrived.

-SNACKS.  Eat eat eat!!!  You are hungry, more often than your body will acknowledge!  Small things like fruit snacks or a pack of crackers you can eat slowly, one every few minutes while doing a task are ideal.  Since we have shit anticipatory dopamine, we just have to reward ourselves, and food does an ok job.  That said: be careful with dark chocolate, it can be an appetite suppressant if the cocoa content is high.  Same with caffeine.  My stimulants also make me more sensitive to caffeine side effects.

Also, take snacks with you during the day, because if you're like me, you get tired easily if you don't eat often.  Chocolate milk or drinkable yogurts are great fast energy boosts.  Plus they're fortified with vitamin D, which in my latitude is in short supply.

-In the same vein: Have low effort, high calorie food on hand.  You will have times when you can't summon the energy or get sucked into a hyper focus wormhole and don't have time or spoons to cook.  Frozen dinners/personal pizzas/canned soups... whatever to get meal-quality food into you fast.  If you eat meat, take advantage of cured or preserved meats that last a long time and are harder to let spoil.  Some are stable at room temp, like jerky.  If you don't, peanut butter seems to serve people well (can't relate tho, allergic)

-A lot of this is revolving around food, but ime regular meals and easy foods I can get myself to make and eat is something I struggled and still struggle with a lot.  Prep snacks when you have spoons and time to do so.  Hard boiled eggs before bed.  Make extra portions' worth of rice with your dinner. Anything to have extra calories on hand ASAP.  Also, rice cookers and any kind of automation is a lifesaver.  Just set a timer to remember to get it out later, or pair it with when you're hungry and motivated to get it out and won't forget >.>

-Setting timers. Sucks.  it really does.  but it's better than not setting timers.  If you have a "it's time to leave for class or work" alarm, make sure you have everything packed and you're dressed BEFORE the alarm goes off.  With time blindness, that can be hard, but we do typically process abstract "x BEFORE y", just not "15 minutes before y".  Switching from direct numbers to just "this has to be DONE by y time" is easier ime. 

-Wear an analog watch.  Helped me with time blindness so much.  I could watch the minute hand crawl as I walked across campus and it cemented how tasks or going places took.  I can link "this takes this space on the clock" easier than "this is (abstract number)".

-AUTOMATE WHATEVER YOU CAN. I'm not just talking about rice cookers and dishwashers and roombas, though those absolutely count.  I also mean computer programs--zotero for citation formatting, writing or finding macros or scripts for file processing so that you reduce the number of clicks while working.  LEARN TO USE EXCEL and clone sheets, if applicable for your job.  Anything you can press a button for instead of having to think about is more that will get done during a day.  

-If you have a pressing task that is making you sad or just has been hovering over you, or a big assignment: take the anxiety as a sign to prioritize it, and set aside an entire day for it.  I'm not joking.  Take a mental health day and do your taxes.  Even if it only takes an hour, time is fake to us.  Energy is not.  Escapism or productive procrastination (doing other tasks that do need done, though less pressing, while avoiding another) devour insane amounts of time.  If that is your One thing slated for that day, then it'll get done.  Promise.  

-Yes, use a schedule planner, but GET ONE WHERE YOU CAN SEE THE WHOLE WEEK ON ONE PAGE SPREAD.  That way, when you break up assignments (I may do a post about how to do this, but it's integral and entirely what my organizational tutoring was for) you can see how everything fits into the week and where you will put tasks that roll over between days.  Teacher planners are good for this.  This shit got me through my college projects.  Also: write in the assignments and important deadlines for your whole class syllabus right when you get it, for students.  It'll take like 2 hours but you can SEE where things fit in physical space instead of abstract time.

-Write lists, not for the purpose of doing the things on them, but just to sort out what's rattling in your head.  I rarely LOOK at lists after making them, but knowing it's all down on paper means I'm no longer worried about forgetting it, and threads it into my brain piece by piece, I can process each individual concern.  What should be on these lists?  Anything bothering you: deadlines, worries, emotional chaos.  Anything that circulates in and out of your conscious thoughts.  Chores you haven't done, inadequacies.  It's like defragmenting a drive when you write it down.  

-Your RSD makes it feel like people don't care for you.  Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is literally so central to my experience, and I don't see it talked about beyond "it exists and it makes me feel The Awful".  It impaired my ability to have healthy boundaries and connections to people, because it compounded with my insecurities to make me feel like people weren't showing me they cared or giving me enough encouragement.  I got frustrated and I felt like my emotional needs were unfulfilled.  It took a lot of therapy to get to the root of it: that I felt unsupported and was reaching to people I shouldn't for external support, when most of the pain I was looking to heal was internal.  It is okay to ask for help!  There's just a part of RSD where you have to learn to separate what is your OWN pain in response to yourself, your own echo of self-loathing attaching itself to another's behavior, and what is genuinely hurtful behavior.  I don't mean that you are accusing anyone of this; rather until you separate the pain you feel from the impact of others, you will feel trapped and controlled by their reactions.  It's complicated.  I advise therapy if it's accessible, but even knowing to look out for it will help.  Admitting the words "I am in pain because I hate something about myself, and their reaction makes me aware of it" is a huge first step.  Yes, spoken aloud.

-If you're breaking stim toys or wringing your hands, crushing things... You're freaking out and you need to go deal with whatever is bothering you.  Your unconscious movements will register before the importance of the emotion itself will.  I find my emotions are like my appetite, it's inconsistent when I will actually process them on a conscious level.  Learning to watch my hands helped me realize when I was overwhelmed.  It may be another cue for you.

-Go decompress when you're overwhelmed.  You may still feel functional: you should not attempt to work through it.  It will continue to haunt your processing until you go stare into the void over your water bottle and breathe for a while.  I advise going home early too, if possible.  Our emotions tire us more than we process.

-Try taking an ibuprofen or acetaminophen when you're starting to get physically tired or frazzled.  Dopamine disregulation also prevents us from modulating background pain signals adequately, I notice I get achy.  

-Exercise if you have the means and time.  Especially if there's a facility at work/home/school so you don't have to convince yourself to go to a secondary location.  Somatosensory and kinesthetic feedback good.

-If you take a break from something, go touch stuff and move around.  Again, somatosensory feedback good.  Walk around the block and touch bricks, etc.

-Use your scenery as a memory aid.  Your workspace is your working memory, your HUD.  I have told my coworkers not to move anything in my work area for this reason.  Where I have left things and what is nearby reminds me what I was doing.  Same principle as listing; all of it externally in front of you, digestible without worry of slipping your mind.  

-In tandem with above: control clutter.  Excess input that is no longer relevant will only confuse you.  Old notes, etc.  It's okay to throw things or memos out that you wanted to do but don't feel like you ever will.

-Your physical location and status ground you.  Going to specific locations to get work done, or dressing specific ways for certain tasks helps link what you're doing now to the task later, and signal to your brain that you're in focus mode.  I can't get shit done in pajamas.  If I'm not dressed by 12pm, that day is gone. 

-If you can't see it, it doesn't exist.  Chores, clothes, etc.  The best ways to store things are in plain sight.  Clear bins, cubbies, etc.  Again, your space is your brain.  Sort items in places that are relevant to their use.

-If your space makes it hard to do chores, your brain will too.  Arrange your furniture to the best of your ability in a way that facilitates easy movement and makes sense to you.

-Cut your losses sometimes.  If you cannot finish the project you started that's taking up space in your room, you're not a bad person for throwing it out.  Plants you can't save.  Art you won't finish.  Waste production is a societal problem, but you have to prioritize your mental health.  Using disposable lysol wipes instead of rags that will add to laundry, etc.  It's okay to need the time saving route.

-If you have the means, it is okay to spend extra for convenience.  That's literally why the product exists.  If it's more compact or automates something, it was built bc it will help people, especially you.  Time IS money, or for us, tasks ARE spoons.  Pay extra for delivery if you can't leave the house.  I was raised very frugal and disposable anything was very hard to justify to myself, but sometimes it is just necessary to have something DONE and not need to clean or maintain things.  You are rationing your energy, it is not laziness.

-ENCOURAGE YOUR BRAIN TO BE ITSELF.  It will feel forced, especially if you've been masking hard for years.  I had to direct myself to go touch flowers awkwardly or pick up bugs, and at first I didn't feel anything.  I just reminded myself that the bug was cool and tried to look real hard at the details.  Reminding myself I used to love this.  And then at some point I wasn't pretending anymore, and I was sending pictures of jumping spiders to my colleagues like "look what I found outside!"  That love some of us have for the present experience, the deep connection we have to our surroundings due to how much we rely on them for our processing... that is so valuable and such a source of joy.  Fight for it.  Fight your mask, fight the expectations people have for you to act a certain way, fight the notion that unbridled interest with and engagement with small details is "childish".  It is not. The world is free dopamine.  Grab heaping handfuls.  

I may write up a followup for the fundamentals of organizational tutoring; it was what really carried my ass through college/uni and more people need access to it.  

Anyway, I hope this helps someone.  Not everyone's ADHD is like mine, and not all of this is universal, but maybe you and I have enough in common that my experience is valuable to you.  

[rex101111]

I'd love to see some commentary on Swipes of Sword and Fan, I'm curious when it comes to more variety-type fics where the inspiration for different chapters comes from and the like. And here's a ⭐ for anything you'd like to talk about in general about whatever!

Thank you!! Looking back im actually pretty proud of this little collection im slowly building up, though to be honest I didn't give it too much thought when I started.

It started out as a bit of a joke, the first chapter was basically just me posting one of the drabbles I sometimes write when somebody sends me a quick description. I just rolled with the premise while staying as close to those two crazy criminals as I could. I posted it as the first chapter of a "collection" half jokingly as an affectionate jab at a trend in fanfiction that is kinda dead these days but was damn near impossible to avoid just a few years back.

People taking an entire prompts list, anywhere from thirty to a hundred, and using that to make a chronologically loose collection of stories based entirely around one ship or group. A select few went the distance and did the whole bunch, but most of them stopped at around the 15 mark. Which is plenty impressive, sure, but it always struck me as evidence that fanfic writers have an awful little habit of biting off more than they can chew.

A habit I'm sure long time readers of my work will no doubt know that I share. The amount of times I said "IM GONNA MAKE A LONG FIC OUTTA THIS ONE JUST YOU WATCH" to myself only to get distracted later on by scheduling issues or just getting attached to another idea... Ah well.

So, yeah, I posted that first chapter as a bit of a jab at myself "oh yeah sure im going to make a collection out of this, the whole nine yards!...probably gonna make it an even 30, be surprised if it hits 15", and the first few chapters came to me like lightning. Since I established the setting in the summary, I pretty much gave myself the freedom to make any story I wanted so long as it was in that very vaguely defined period of time.

Any story. Any at all. Whatever weird idea came to my head with these two that I could fit on two-three pages. I kinda went nuts. Most chapters were born from a quick idea I had like "hey so what if anji got jealous?" or "how do they deal with bounties anyway?" and others I had to really sit with like "...what were Baiken's parents like?" or "tying shoes must be a pain in the ass" or "oh hey what if Anji actually did feel guilty and afraid of his actions hurting the one person he cared about" and so on.

It's gotten to the point where I'm actually fairly certain I will hit that 30 chapter mark at some point. I'm not putting myself on any time line, I just post whenever I have a suitably dense and short story I wanna add. And boom.

and im gonna use the star as a chance to rant a little about how petty I personally can be about comments. First off, I love getting any kinda comment at all, if its a simple "OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS" or something along those lines, I will gobble it up like its delicious because it is.

But! Personally speaking if you really wanna make me happy as a writer, I really REALLY like those comments that pick a sentence or a segment and go "OH I REALLY LIKE THIS PART HERE'S A QUICK RANT WHY". Been this way since I wrote weird OC shit on DeviantArt back in the day, craving that very specific "you did good" validation.

Seriously tho, if a reader doesn't have it in them to write a Formal Review of my fanfic I'm not gonna hold it against them. I probably won't answer because I'm honestly genuinely awkward like that. But the dopamine shot of "Comment on AO3" lasts longer if the comment is also longer, you know? I've read comments that made me dance in place and pump my fists like I won a marathon. that shit rocks and readers who take the time to indulge my need for overly specific praise are a treasure.

[sunnisurrealism]

Hi Timmy,

im sorry for my brash previous post. i did not intend to direct the salty energy towards you, i guess towards the universe in general. the fact that the package with the first usb was not delivered was a tremendous blow to me today. i wouldn't say it was karma because i dont think you deserve this but it does seem like some sort of divine irony. when you were waiting around this was probably slowly occurring to you. literally what a fucking troll. i really hope the next one actually sends! i kept the tracking receipt this time.

im also sad today because the smoke from the forest fires might prevent us from going to Assinaboine. if we dont go i'll be hella disappointed. but its been multiple years now that i couldn't go because of the smoke... which only seems to be getting worse... .... this town Jasper in the northern rockies caught fire today. shit is getting more scary :( Alberta and BC is very susceptible to climate impacts.

i dont really know what else i have to say until the package arrives. i guess i thought the cake scene was a confirmation. in general we all faces problems being too hot to the gun, probably. gotta keep the long distance one way interesting somehow with some trolling. i think the Bad Ass Shitey Donk Shitlords sent the package back, only explanation to me.

anyways the most important part of the current package on the way is the new plot stuff. tbh tho i did already explain all the main points in a post a few days back, i just forgot the part about the flute from your spirit dad somehow after you see the snake and bull. therefore there really isnt anything new intellectually. i reread my meanest messages to you breaking down why it wasnt okay and how conditional things do make sense as an apology and to emphasize that i am truly really sorry :( it also includes the og notes / out take drawings of the TFBD (to be passed along to Grimes), some gifts for grimes, some geschenken for MB ^uwu^, and some gifts / a USB for elon. i know this is inconvenient for you to pass along gifts but tbh with the way it went down i knew i had to send you the notes and the usb i was planning on using for you was the one i used for elon but then i found an extra so tbh i just feel like i didnt have the capacity or money to send multiple packages so im kindly asking you to pass gifts along assuming you wont be up tight about it. i did include some voices notes on elon's USB just for him, but i included the one i originally recorded for him about Das Booble Zwei to catch him up on lore on your usb as well. if you are curious of the shit i said to him it's mostly me emphasizing that our strengths compliment one another, and the worst i said was that sometimes i have a hard time imagining timmy and i having sex together. that was like a month ago tho and i've been healing. so if you're curious that's the worst is said.

now that we are just waiting to see if the package sends idk what else i can do. i am really done and tired. im really happy to be in calgary where my mom can cook for me and i have a bathroom close to my bed. my relationship with my family is 100% good.

i dearly miss you, i dearly love the trailer so much and congratulations! i wish more than anything we could cuddle and kiss to heal from all this shit. hopefully *again* in the dreamworld.

*edit “why conditional things do not make sense” jesus*

klara

[valkyrayn]

breeding kink anon here 👉🏻👈🏻🥴 just came out of my shell to say aaah tysm for answering my ask and also if im a lil too blunt excuse me as i am recovering from a crazy night out so i may just speak my horny thoughts openly 🤭

I really liked the wholesome twist you gave to each of the men's answers and lowk marius' one almost had me feeling tears bc i feel for this man TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT PLS. Luke was spicy and Artem and Vyn were cute, all were *chef's kiss* thank you for the brainrot. i've tired myself out of most of the good smuts so this was a delicious treat 😩 been reading you for a bit of time basically ever since you started the blog on here and I always look forward to your posts whether it be answering anons or writing <3 I think i read that you've been having a rough few weeks so I hope you feel better soon and have been taking care 🥺

on a side note tho, marius is totally nasty like that- and if ppl tell me he hasn't at least tried to draw you nude or in debauched positions/clothing, dress u up in cute custom lingerie designed by himself, or fucked you in his art studio imma think they lying (on top of office sex ofc), or basically tried to on every surface in the von Hagen estate. i almost feel bad for his butler and vincent. 🥵 bet he would make it a challenge for you to keep his cum inside you as you go about your day when ur hanging around his home on both your days off, wearing one of his shirts and if he notices any leaking down your legs or panties he will not hesitate to either push it back in with his fingers or pump you full again~ despite whatever you may have been pre-occupied with at that current moment, just you being filled with his seed makes him feral.

p.s. I plan on sticking around for some time and idk if you give out anons emojis bc my brain fuzzy rn and i can't quite recall 💀 but if you do I don't mind being assigned one related to alcohol or your choice hehe.

anon you’re so sweet!! i had to take a while just to think of how to respond to such a nice message 🥺 i appreciate you so much! my week is better this time around! i hope you’ll have great weeks ahead too anon, you deserve it 💜

now back to horny. what if i tell you (cn server spoiler) that that is canon now 👀 they implied it 👀 maybe not as filthy as we’d think but i mean, i’d like to believe so lmfao. but also yes! he’s the kind of man who will definitely fuck you everywhere and anywhere — as long as there’s a flat surface, he’ll definitely fuck you on it 🧎🏻‍♀️

and omghdhshshhs not that making me crazy horny. after a whole night of just sex over and over again, you can barely feel your legs but you get up from bed anyway to go make yourself a cup of coffee. he comes up behind you and hugs you from the back before slowly, sliding his hand down to your cunt. he pulls your folds open with his fingers and shoves his middle finger inside your hole. it’s hot, wet and laced with his cum from last night. he pushes in deeper, letting the semen leak and slide down his finger. you arch your back at the sensation, a soft moan leaving your lips.

“jiejie, you’re so full—look at you, dripping all over my fingers.” he then pulls out and shows you his fingers, coated with both your combined fluids. he slowly pushes them past your lips and you lick them clean. you’re so turned on, it hurts. you need him inside you. and he knows this. “i wanna fill you up again…”

he pulls down his briefs and shoves his hardened cock inside you. and fuck does he stretch you full, you’ll never get used to his size. you’re always just so tight around him and it takes all of him not to cum right away. he fucks you against the counter, grabbing onto your hips and ass. wrapping his fingers around your neck and pulling you against him as he fucks your rough and fast. you swear you can feel the fluids sloshing inside you from how wet everything is. and it’s only going to get messier.

“marius—please! want more…”

“i know baby. i’ll give you what you want. i know you want me to pump another load inside you…fill you up again…so you can feel all hot and full inside…”

your walls tighten at his words and soon you’re gushing around him. you coat his cock with your fluids, your body trembling against him as you orgasm over and over again. he moans your name and slams harder inside you, and he’s so deep you can almost feel your heart stop. “oh fuck such a good girl—i’m gonna—ah”

nothing will ever beat the sensation of having marius shoot his cum inside you. it’s so hot and the load is almost always huge, thanks to him being young and full of testosterone. he fills you up so full and now you’re left with a messier cunt than it was just minutes ago. he holds you against him and despite still being plugged inside you, you can still feel his semen overflow and leak out of you and onto the floor. you make a mental note to clean that mess before he gets poor vincent to do it.

i feel like i still have a lot of horny in my system after that omg this man will be the death of me. also thank you for such a delicious spicy brainrot anon. and i’m giving you the 🍷 emoji cus i love wine!

[kuraiangeliusm]

hi hi hi can i ask for 4nemo hcs? Like when you fall asleep when theyre not home?

can i be 👀 anon?

hey there 👀 anon!! im sorry this took like days to do, i've been busy with school and yeah i have a bunch of exams so-

but anyway i hope you still enjoy

__________________________

Aether ✨

when he comes back to you sleeping he's half happy and half sad

happy because he knows you're having a good rest

sad because he has no one to rant to about his day 😕

also no one to comb through his hair as he falls asleep

so when he does come back to you asleep,

he cleans himself up and then snuggles with you

tries to snuggle with you as quietly and softly as possible so that you don't wake up

he does succeed

but you do wake up sometimes and you just hug him really tight and you sleep with him that way

either way, he loves when he falls asleep with you

after aether had finished all of his commissions and requests, he couldn't wait to get back to you. he was practically running back to where you were and even pushed a few people on the way (he didn't mean it tho).

when aether did get home to you, he cleans himself and then slowly walks to where you are. he stands there for a while, looking at you admiringly. he then walks to you, careful to not wake you. once he did get closer to you, he kissed your forehead and laid down next to you.

you woke up and heard the boy settling in. you turned to him. he looked surprised that you woke up, he thought he was being careful! "aether, dear. how was your day?" you asked him softly, running your fingers through his hair. "it was okay i guess though, a lot of people still kept asking me to do simple things like delivering letters or flowers. to be honest, it's getting quite annoying, [name]" he replies with a sigh.

"aether, i know it's hard but just remember, i'm always here for you." he continues telling you about his day, with you combing his hair with your fingers gently. soon, you fell asleep and aether noticed this. so he stopped talking, held you closer to him, and laid his head above yours.

________________________

Kazuha 🍁

happy and scared when you fall asleep

he looks at your sleeping figure lovingly

also is scared cuz you might be dead so he goes to you and checks your pulse

relieved asf when there's still a pulse

cuddles you like you'll turn into his friend if he lets go or loosens his grip

very protective because he thinks someone's gonna attack you two while sleeping

big spoon or small spoon, doesn't matter

as long as he's with you anything is ok because u always put a smile on his face

Your lover comes home, tired but with a smile on his face. He came back from a journey in Inazuma with the traveler. He was mentally drained, he never wanted to go back there after what happened.

he just wanted to get back to you and hold you tight. now that he was finally here, he went to where you were. he found you sound asleep in on of the Crux's beds. he walks slowly to you, careful not to wake you up.

he lays down with you and with his (fine ass) hands he holds you slowly and pulls you close to him, feeling your soft heartbeat. his hand holds your stomach as he falls asleep with you in his arms.

___________________________

Venti 🍷

mf will either let you sleep or wake u up

depends on his mood and your tiredness

if ur super tired even if he rlly wants to wake you up he doesnt

because he can either be the sweetest bf or the most annoying mf in your life

50/50 chance and idk if you'll win

when he comes home to u asleep and ur not that tired he will act like a kid when its Christmas morning

be jumping on the bed and be annoying

but he rlly is sweet tho

cuddles you and makes sure u dont wake up

snuggles his head on ur shoulder

you have to hug him back

venti the drunk ass bard comes home and cant even walk properly and at this point you just dont care anymore cuz you've seen him like this lots of times before. but today you were really tired. people around monstadt were asking you to help them here and there and of course you loved to help but it was too much.

you were sleeping in your bed (which you shared with venti). you were planning to cook his favorite dish but alas, you were too tired. once venti came home, he immediately went to where you were. he was stumbling and couldn’t even stand up straight but as soon as he saw you sleeping, he tried his best not to wake you up. he saw you running around the city helping others earlier and he understood that you were tired.

venti slowly (and drunkenly) walked to you. he tried his best to get in bed with you as softly as possible so that you wouldn’t wake up. he successfully did it (but was 🤏 this close to failing) and put his head on your shoulder. he grabbed your hand and placed it over his own. lets just say tomorrow morning he wont be able to get out of bed after all that drinking 😔

Xiao 📝 (lol its a contract)

at first, he never slept with you

he loved you, he really did but doesnt know how to show it

hes also afraid of you getting hurt because of him

so he distances himself BUT THEN YOUR FINE ASS COMES IN AND CONFRONTS HIM 🎉

“xiao, why are you always staying away from me? i feel like you’re never here and it’s starting to bother me”

after that he tries his best to initiate cuddles and eventually starts “sleeping" with you GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER BY “sleeping” I MEANT HE DOESNT SLEEP STOP BEING HORNY 🤬

when he comes home and you’re asleep hes extra gentle

holds you tightly and even tho he doesnt sleep he watches over you

occasionally he does fall asleep cuz u have magical powers like that

when xiao arrives back at wangshu inn, he’s tired and just wants to be alone. when he comes back and sees you sleeping tho his bad thoughts just become diluc’s dad ✌️. (haha im evil)

he walks to you and slowly holds your hand, placing it on his cheek. he kisses it (cuz hes f-ing traditional) and goes into bed with you. he holds your waist and brings you closer to him as he stares at you. he gets lost while looking at you. he's grateful to have you as his lover, he's grateful to have someone as kind and caring as you.

______________________

hey omg im sorry it took so long and im sorry i suddenly got lazy but yeah-

[patd--phan]

Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Dadsbestfriend! Bucky (mid/late 40s) x reader (in early/mid twenties)

Summary: Y/N surprises bucky on a business trip and he promises to be hers.

Warnings: SMUTTY stuff (18+ only pleasee), unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (m receiving), riding, teasing, significant age gap, reader takes charge, “Doll/sweets/baby/sweetheart”, some cute ass shit at the beginning and end tho

WC: about 3K im sorry I was really H*rny yesterday and I was unable to do anything about it as i was stuck in the car all damn day

Note: So I was really h*rny yesterday and this happened lol I’m sorry. Loosely based on the song wanna be yours-arctic monkeys. Also this will probably be the only smut I ever write bc I don’t wanna become an 18+ blog or make anyone uncomfortable (not that 18+ blogs are bad tho lemme set that straight, most of my fav blogs are)

PS thank you for the love on my first ever fic with Peter Parker x reader, it made me so happy that ppl didn’t think I suck lol ( and i guess i lied saying i would probably never write another one shot lol)

You do NOT have my permission to repost this anywhere, I will come for u if you plagiarize ok bye

It was no secret that Bucky liked to be in charge in the bedroom, and you had absolutely no problem with that. After all, he was older and more experienced; he knew how to make your body sing. But this week you were craving something a little different. Bucky had been away on a business trip all weekend and you really missed him, not just the sex (but I mean…) but just cuddling and talking to him about your day; you were feeling clingy. You decide to text bucky even though you knew he couldn’t answer right away because he was currently in a meeting.

Y/N: I mis youu :( when will you be back tomorrow?

You just wandered around your apartment for the next 20 minutes, casually checking your phone about every 30 seconds just in case bucky was able to sneak in a text. He finally replied after 30 minutes, right as his meeting was ending at 3.

Bucky: Hey doll, I miss you too <3

Bucky: unfortunately one of the investors this morning had to push their meeting to late tomorrow afternoon, so I’m not gonna be home until very late tomorrow night :(

Y/N: dammit :(

Y/N: well good luck at the pitch meeting tomorrow, I love and miss you <3

Bucky: don’t gimme that pout I know your making doll, ill see you tonight on facetime! :)

Y/N: haha u know me so well, and yes you’ll see me tonight ;) (but I still miss u)

Bucky: I know doll I hate it too, see you tonight. Love you <3

Y/n: love you too <3

You didn’t know if you could go until late Monday without seeing bucky. As you laid on the couch smiling sadly about missing your love, an idea popped into your head. He was only two and a half hours away, and he wouldn’t be back at his hotel for another 4 hours at least. Fuck it, you were gonna go drive to his hotel and surprise him. You couldn’t be away so long, you felt super clingy this weekend and you needed to be on top of with him.

You quickly ran around your apartment, packing an overnight bag and you saw the package that arrived earlier on your floor that you completely forgot about because you couldn’t stop thinking of Bucky. You remembered its contents e(a completely evil lingerie set) and threw it in the bag with a smirk on your face.

The drive to Bucky’s hotel felt like forever and you had to remind yourself to stop speeding because you were so excited. When you finally got to his hotel, you had to convince the manager to give you a key to his room, proving that you were the man’s girlfriend with several pictures on your phone which was slightly embarrassing because in almost every picture, at least one of you was half-naked. Worth it. You thought. When you arrived in his room you quickly went into the bathroom to change into a little black dress (with a surprise underneath). Then as you were sitting on his bed waiting for him, you realized it would still be a while before he would get back, so you decided to tidy up his things, packing his clothes and organizing his suitcase. Pleased with your work, you sat back down on the bed and looked at your phone for a while. You finally got pulled out of your Instagram daze when you heard Bucky’s voice in the hallway laughing at something a coworker said. You quickly threw your phone on the dresser, straightened up you dress, and sat at the edge of the bed with a huge smile on your face, giddy to surprise him.

As he turned the doorknob he was still looking behind him talking to the man. When he finally said goodbye and turned his head around, his eyebrows raised up and his jaw dropped, which was quickly replaced with a smile even larger than yours.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, running towards you and throwing his briefcase on the floor.

He picked you up in a tight hug and you squealed, legs immediately wrapping around his waist.

“I told you you’d see me tonight!” you said, still clung to him like a koala.

“W-what?” He replied, still in shock. Letting your legs fall back to the floor.

“I just missed you too much” you shrugged.

If any human could embody “heart eyes” it was Bucky at that moment- he’s such a softie for you. He pulled your face towards him and gave you one of the most loving kisses you’ve ever had in your life. You were expecting it to be passionate and rough, but it was soft, delicate and loving, and your heart melted into a puddle. After your lips parted, you gazed into each other’s eyes before being pulled up in another tight hug. You giggled and wrapped your legs around him again.

“I guess you missed me too huh?” you laughed.

“Oh doll, you have no idea.”

You wrapped your hands in his hair, massaging his neck and he moaned loudly.

“Mm, that feels nice.” He hummed.

“You tired baby?” you asked, he seemed like he needed some TLC (and you were ready to give it to him).

“I am so exhausted.” He replied, making you frown behind his back.

You slowly slid down his body, back onto your feet again, and kept massaging his head. He looked at you lovingly before looking around his hotel room, his eyebrows pulled in confusion.

“Did you clean up in here?”

“Yep, while I was waiting for ya,” you replied, smiling.

His whole face softened.

“Oh, I really don’t deserve you doll.” Making you smile and shake your head.

“Oh yes you do.” You replied making him smile and his heart flutter in his chest.

He pulled you in for another kiss, this one with more fire and longing in it than the last one. His large hands grabbed you ass to pull you closer to him and you moaned into the kiss. You pressed your body against him even tighter and ran your hands through his hair making him moan. You could feel his pants tent start to grow against you and you smirked and moved you lips down to the side of his neck making him groan.

You pull back and look at him, hard and eyes half lidded, it turns you on so much you feel your panties dampening.

“Hey Buck?” you whisper, lips mere inches apart.

“Hmm?” he hums in response.

“I have another surprise for you.” You whisper into his ear before pulling back to look at his face.

“What’s that, doll?” he whispers.

You smirk and step away from him, noticing the confusion on his face before you pull your dress over your head and throw it onto the floor.

Bucky’s jaw drops, making you bite your lip and smirk even more. This was gonna be fun.

“Oh, fuck me,” He groans.

“Oh, I fully intend on it, Buck” you smirk.

He just groans and starts walking towards you.

“Buck?”

“Yeah sweets?”

“Wanna be mine tonight?”

“Fuck, I’ll be yours forever doll.” He says, making you whimper. You pull him against you by his tie, pressing your bodies together.

Your lips crash and tongues swirl together fighting for dominance. Hands moving up and down each other’s bodies like animals. Bucky squeezing your ass so tight you know there’s gonna be marks.

You both pull back enough so you can shimmy off Bucky’s tie and throw it over his head before unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off him. You then sink to your knees and undo his belt quickly before slowly unzipping his pants, kissing the outside of his member though his pants making him exhale a breath sharply.

“Fuck” he breathes out.

You don’t want to tease him too much (yet) so after another kiss, you shove his pants off and lay down on the bed, his body caging you under him.

The passionate makeout session resumes with Bucky still hard in his boxers pressing against your clothed core. You suddenly remember what you wanted and pull back from the kiss.

“Wait, no” you whisper.

Bucky pulls back, confused and nervous he did something to hurt you.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers.

You take advantage of his confusion and roll him over so you were straddling him with a smirk on your face.

Bucky moans at your actions, core pressing tight against him.

“You said you’d be mine.” You breathe over his lips. Moaning as being in charge is giving you a whole rush of feelings and confidence.

You kiss him, and he lets you dominate the kiss this time, biting his lips and grinding on him. He bucks his hips onto your and you pull back.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll make you feel so good.”

Bucky moans at your words as you start to kiss all the way down his body, leaving little hickies down his chest. When you get towards his boxers he thinks your gonna kiss his member or pull down his boxers, but instead you go back up his chest, licking a stripe from his belly button all the way to one of his nipples, up his neck, to his lips.

Bucky moans, loud. You give him one more kiss before deciding to stop teasing him (kinda). You quickly kiss down his chest again and then plant a few kisses on his aching cock through his boxers. He bucks his hips and is whimpering under you. Fuck, that turns you on. Your big strong boyfriend who could probably crush you with one arm, whimpering and practically begging under you. Your panties are fucking soaked and you don’t think you can deny your own pleasure too much longer. You pull down his boxers and his cock is throbbing and dripping precum.

“Shit” you moan at the sight.

You lick the precum off him and he gives a high pitched moan that goes straight to your core.

“Baby please, I- I can’t.”

“Don’t worry baby I got you.” You reply as you take his full member into your mouth, sucking lightly.

Bucky moans and bucks his hips into your mouth. You push them back down and suck a few more times before getting off of him. He looks worried for a second before you slide your panties off and straddle his cock.

“Still wanna be mine?”

“Always” he replies.

You sink down onto him, jaw dropping and eyes closing at the feeling. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to him no matter how many times he’s been inside you. You both moan as his whole cock is finally buried inside you.

“Fuck Bucky, you feel so fucking good in me.” You moan, starting to rock your hips.

“God, I’m so fucking wet for you.”

Bucky continues to give low moans as you start to ride him.

“Fuck baby, I love you like this.” He says, making you start to ride him harder, moaning at his words.

His hands come grab your hips to help you ride him faster, harder.

“Baby- shit I’m close already.” He pleads.

“All for me? Shit baby aren’t I the lucky one?” You moan.

Bucky’s grip on your hips tighten and he starts to fuck up into you. He was about to blow.

You moan loudly at the feeling. “Cum in me baby please I need it.”

After a particularly hard thrust into your wet pussy you feel him spilling inside you. He lets out one of those vulgar high pitched moans and grunts that make your brain short circuit and your eyes roll back while your pussy clenches around him. You feel yourself getting close, but you want to give him another orgasm, so you sink down on him fully and slowly ride him, hearing him whimpering and moaning. You feel him get hard in you again (thank you supersoldier serum) and you rock back and forth on him. You reach down to rub your clit, but Bucky sees it and swats your hand away, replacing it with his metal one.

“Oh fuck” you moan at the cool sensation.

You start to bounce up and down on him again, the knot in your abdomen building and heating up. You feel yourself close to being undone as you ride him and his other hand runs up your body and squeezes your nipple through your thin lace bra. You moan and feel yourself clench around him, making him moan.

“Fuck- I’m gonna c-“ you get interrupted by the white hot explosion of your orgasm. Your eyes roll back, jaw hangs open and toes curl as you feel that release knock throughout your whole body, making you shake. You let out those high pitched moans and whines that only Bucky makes you feel.

Feeling you clench around him and watching your completely fucked out face, you feel Bucky’s thick cock twitch inside of you, and you moan as you feel him release in you again. Fuck that makes you feel good. So good you can’t think or move and you start to collapse on top of Bucky, but he slightly catches you and lays you down on his chest, both breathing heavy, with his cock still inside you, cum dripping all down your legs and onto Bucky.

You can’t speak, can’t think, the pleasure totally ruining you. After what feels like forever, you feel your breathing start to return to normal, as does Bucky’s, and you feel his hand rubbing up and down your back, grounding you back to earth from wherever on cloud nine you were.

You hum as you feel yourself finally calm down.

“Holy fuck, doll” you feel him lowly whine in your ear. You can only moan lowly in response.

“Baby that was fucking amazing.”

“Mmhmm.” You hum.

“…but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if you keep clenching around me.” He chuckles.

“oh shit, sorry,” you mumble out. You try to push up off of him but the farthest you got was placing your hands on his shoulders before your body gave up on you.

“Oh my God, I can’t move” you whisper. You’re so fucked out, your body won’t respond to your brain anymore.

Bucky moans at your words and slowly rolls both of you so youre on your side facing him. He reaches down and pulls his soft cock out of your pussy, moaning when he sees a burst of cum leaking from you.

You moan at the feeling of him exiting your body. You look him in the eyes and give him a lazy smile. His eyes sparkle back at you and his hand comes up to rub your cheek.

“Mm” you hum at the feeling.

“That was fucking incredible” he says, making you smile wider.

“I’m not disagreeing” you quip.

He chuckles lightly before saying “you gotta do this more often.”

“What, surprise you on business trips?” you question.

“No” he rolls his eyes and smiles, “Well yes actually, but I was talking about you absolutely taking charge tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” you smirk.

“Fuck yeah doll, I don’t think I’ve ever cum as hard. You looked so damn sexy in charge.”

You look away from his eyes, shying at his words, but also they were giving you the confidence to look right back into his eyes and say “I agree” with a smirk.

“I love hearing those high pitched moans you make, It turns me on so much” you admit.

“You know, only you can get those noises out of me, doll” he chides. You blush and smile at him.

He chuckles and you bring his face towards yours and kiss him deeply, tongues meeting together. You both hum into the kiss as his hand rubs down the side of your body.

When you break the kiss, both of you needing a breath, he pulls your body towards him, resting your head on his chest. You hum in peace as he rubs your back.

“I love you so much Y/N” he says and you feel your heart absolutely burst in your chest.

“I love you so much too Buck,” you reply, lifting your head to peck him on the lips before placing your head back on his chest.

You lay in silence for a minute before your mind begins to wander again.

“Did you mean it?” you ask.

“Mean what, doll?”

“That you’ll be mine forever?” you ask. “I mean not just in the sexy way but that you’ll be with me forever?” you ramble out.

“God yes sweetheart, you’re the one for me.” He responds and you didn’t think your heart could explode anymore, but it just did.

You squeeze his shoulder with your hand before coming up to kiss him passionately again, almost crying at all of the love going though you.

“I promise I’m all yours forever too, Buck” you smile at him.

“Good,” he smiles back, and you rest back on his chest, eyes getting droopy.

“Night-night sweetheart.” You feel yourself smile in your sleep.

“Goodnight my love.” You reply, further cuddling into his chest. Bucky feels his heart combust in his chest. God, wasn’t he lucky to have you. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he knew that he was going to assure you that you deserve the world every day for the rest of his life. He kissed the top of your head before falling into a deep sleep, content with his favorite person tight in his arms.

[uno-writing]

Berri its me im back how does it feel to not be spammed by me constantly

ok a few things

im sooo really sorry if I made u uncomfy with the name thing

ok so Ik like a few months I was "wAit HoW dO YoU NoT LiKe SeRA huhgsdajwgfudiwl" but ninety nine percent of the shit I said made no sense so lets forget that ask was even typed cuz its pretty embarrassing

oh and I haven't spammed ur inbox cus i went to Virginia for 2 weeks and my phone broke like the day we were leaving adsjkdsh and I had NO INTERNET unless my grandma let me use her iPad or my mom let me use her phone like a nine year old lmao BUT IT WAS HELL bc 1. no internet and 2. I had to sleep in the room as my sister and she hogs they tiny fan, but mostly no internet. makes me realize how addicted I am to my phone but its okay cuz its 2022 and everyone and their mother is addicted to the internet

anyways how was your day berri mine was good bc I (kinda) won a argument with a transphobe in the YouTube comments section

oh and while I was in Virginia I went to this boba place and got taro slush with boba (cmiiw but Im pretty sure that's seras fav) and it was rlly good like it was sweet but not too sweet but later I went to a diff place and got reg taro tea (not the slush) and it was kinda shitty but also first place I went to had these rlly cute keychains with mini boba drinks on them so yea

(tldr: taro slush boba is good but without it its shit imo)

this long ass ask is to make up for the lack of spamming ur inbox lately

ok bye

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

WELCOME BACK BESTIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I WAS STARTING TO MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!

1.Dw about it!!! Its okay!!! You didn't know and you're not the first person to do it, and you're probably not the last person to either.

I feel really bad for how spicy the first pinned post update was 😅 There were a good number of people on here that were completely annoying me (not you bestie dwww!!!!!) and so I got super ticked off and redid the pinned post lmfaooo-

I've been slowly making edits to it so its less spicy but yeah even tho the name thing came off as super spicy to begin with, I wasn't super upset about the name thing lmao (i think i toned down its spiciness now? idk lemme know if i need to fix it more bc I dont wanna come off sounding like a bitch lmfao-)

2.Dw about that either lmao. Tbh out of all of the "omg??? you don't like/you do like *insert uno character*???? what?????" asks Ive gotten, you're was probably one of the nicest lmfaooo-

OMG HEYYYYYYYY YOU CAME TO MY HOME STATE! I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME!!!!! ASIDE FROM THE WHOLE NO INTERNET THING LMFAOOO-

Yeah you came right during a heatwave lmao I get the hogging fans thing, my house doesn't have A/C rn and its awful-

I had a goodish day lmao My college just told me that they've completely changed my course requirements so now I have to take a bunch of classes I dont want/idk how they'd apply to the major I'm in but oh well :D :D And then I took a big nap :3 :3

Oh heyyyyyyyy

I've had boba like 2 times and it was really good! But I'm really lactose intolerant and the place I went to only served milk tea so I just suffered afterwards lmfao

I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING-

BEAUTIFUL LONG ASK!!!!!!

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Itadori Yuji and Gojo Satoru thinking their s/o died

“Hey If you're comfortable can you do Reader with amazing regeneration power ( like deadpool lol ) For Yuji And Gojou? Like they don't know about their power tought they're dead but they just pop up back like nothing happens and explain their power to them? But if you're not comfortable it's okay! thank you” -anon

Sorry this took so long! I literally completely rewrote this like 6 times and decided in the end just to keep it relatively simple and not overly detailed. Gojo’s part includes spoilers from the manga (specifically the Hidden Inventory arc) only because thats the only time i could ever think of a situation where he would see and be near you when you get that injured.

Despite all these rewrites i still hate it-

Warnings: blood and injuries

Itadori Yuji:

Gojo had arrived to the classroom 8 minutes late as usual

Instead of training, he decided to hand out some missions to you first years

“Nobara and Megumi, you two are gonna go clean up a hospital and the surrounding area in the xxx district. Meanwhile, Yuji and y/n are gonna go clear out curses from some buildings by a cemetery in the xxx district. Shouldn’t be too difficult”

“You’re not gonna tell us which buildings?” itadori asks and the blindfolded man simply shrugs

“Your lovely y/n can sense the curses out with the power of love” he explains

You sigh and get up from your desk

“Yeah yeah, lets go Yuji” you say pulling your boyfriend’s hand

“Aw, no cute nicknames?” “Shut up Gojo-sensei” you say making your teacher frown

‘Never should have let gojo satoru of all people know that me and yuji are dating’ you think to yourself

And so you and yuji went off to fulfill the mission

It took a bit to get there but luckily it didn’t take long to find the curses

You decided to stick together as you searched the empty buildings

There was a small handful of the usual low grade curses that you guys took out pretty easily

But just when you guys thought you were done, a high level cursed appeared

“Man, I really wished Gojo-sensei would let us know if theres gonna be anything thats grade 2 or above” you say growing nervous and yuji nods his head

“Don’t worry, i’ll protect you” he says giving you a reassuring smile

And so you guys got serious and fought the curse

You both received a few scraps here or there but nothing too serious

Its when the curse switched up its attacks that it got particularly tricky

Instead of throwing cursed energy around, it shot disc blades out of its arm

You barely had enough time to duck out of the way

It went clean through the wall

“Yuji leave him to me” you say but he immediately denies your request

“No way! I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt when I could have prevented it”

You were unsure but continued the fight anyways

After both of you sustaining many injuries, Itadori went for the final blow and ended it

Sadly before it fully faded away, it sent one final disc out

Flying straight past yuji, you didn’t have time to react and it went straight through your neck, essentially decapitating you

Your body falling limp onto the ground, the pink haired boy could only slowly turn around to face you

“...huh?”

Eyes wide as they could possibly be he called out your name and fell to his knees

“You’re joking right? Theres no way this really just happened...right?!” he yelled, voice cracking as he stared at your ‘corpse’

“Ooh such a shame. See if you just swapped places with me they would have lived. Atleast they wouldn’t have died to some low level curse” Sukuna said, mouth appearing on his cheek

“Shut up!”

At this point he was bawling

Tears were flooding out of his eyes even tho its only been about 10 seconds

As his shaking hands slowly picked your body up he mumbled a bunch of apologies but stopped when he saw something

Your head was beginning to regenerate

And he has to admit

Seeing your head fully regen like that was kinda disgusting

Opening your eyes, the first thing you see is a teary eyed boyfriend

“Yuji?” You ask and he pulls you into a very tight hug

“I’m so sorry y/n, I let you...I-I thought you died” he choked, still shaking as he held you

You sighed and returned his hug with as much love as possible

“I realize i never explained my ability to you huh? So you know reverse techniques? Its like that but much more advanced. Unless im completely blown away, i’m pretty sure I can’t die. I do however still feel the pain”

He nods his head at your explanation

You guys sit there for a bit as you quietly reassure everything is fine while rubbing his back

You kiss his cheek and stand up

For the rest of the day he is stuck onto you, just glomped on as much as you’ll allow him to be

It really scared him

It happened so fast and if you really had died...he doesn’t even wanna think about how he’d react

When you returned to the school, you didn’t bother reporting back to the principle or gojo and instead spent the rest of the day chilling with Yuji in the dorms

You could deal with the consequences later because for now

Loving yuji and making sure he’s happy is all that matters

Manga spoilers for Gojo under the cut

Second year!Gojo Satoru:

Its not completely accurate to what happened but shushhh

You guys had just come back from Okinawa and despite being on a serious mission you guys had fun

Well you did stay an extra day solely to stay at the beach but no one needed to know that-

But now the fun’s over and you were back at Jujutsu high safe inside its barriers

You could tell Satoru was absolutely finished with this mission, he was completely over it and exhausted

“Im done. No more baby sitting” he said leaning onto you

Resting his chin on top of your head he let out a yawn which made you laugh a bit

“Suguru. You can do the rest with Amanai right? I wanna go sleep and cuddle with y/n” he complained while wrapping his arms around you but suguru snapped back

“Huh? You think you can just walk away with them before the biggest part of this mission??”

He wanted gojo to see the mission through to the very end and not just ditch to go ‘cuddle with y/n’

When the boys continued to argue, gojo unwrapped his arms from you as he stepped closer towards getou

Sighing you gave riko a look and apologized which she simply smiled at

You only meant to take a step forward to intervene

Only a single small step

But your instincts where screaming that you push Satoru away with no second thought

Why did you follow your instincts so quickly? Why shove him so hard that he almost fell over? And why was there a searing hot pain in your gut?

“Im surprised you managed to push him out of the way on time, makes this whole effort for assassinating pointless don’t you think?”

As you slowly looked down you finally realized a sword had been stabbed into you, and that there was a new face right behind you

Ah, thats why then

“Y/n!!” Satoru yelled, blue eyes widening as he saw blood seep through your clothing and onto the concrete

As he and suguru instantly went into battle mode, the sword was harshly ripped out towards your side and cut an arm off in the process

As suguru used curses to hold toji back, satoru swore he teared up a bit as he picked you up and moved to a more safer spot

He couldn’t lose you, literally anyone but you

He’d be willing to die if you got to live

“Y/n your stomach..and arm..!” he yelled watching the blood pour out of you and showing no sign of stopping

Which just made him grow more and more panicked

You could feel his arms tremble as he held you and see that it was taking everything he had to not let the tears spill

“I-I don’t--this..this is my fault! The second i stop using my power this happens to you!” his emotions where spiraling more and more out of control

He couldn’t even see that the blood had already stopped

“Nothing is your fault Satoru. You can deal with the blame game later and instead go deal with the situation at hand” “But-”

“Satoru. i’ll be fine, focus on the enemy and protecting Riko.” you say wincing, already feeling it everything heal itself

“Fine?? Those injuries arent a ‘im fine’ injuries--!” you cut him off by harshly placing your hands onto his face to help him snap out of it

“Satoru. Im perfectly fine okay? So stop panicking.” you say pressing your forehead to his, though it was a bit awkward since he was taller than you

(if your taller than 190cm props to you and just ignore that part)

“Huh? Can reverse techniques be this advanced for shamans?” he asked, eyes still wide as he gently placed his hand on yours

He was in complete awe that your arm was back and looked perfectly normal

“My ability is basically a more advanced version of Shoko’s ability. I can regenerate anything and will be perfectly fine even if i lose my head. So ignore me for the time being and go kick the intruders ass” you say and he takes a deep breath before nodding his head

“wish you could have told me this before so i could have prevented all this panic” he said making you feel really guilty

“sorry! it just never came up before” you say flexing your regenerated arm, seeing if it felt right or not

You watched as he took off his sunglasses and handed them too you and turned towards Toji who was busy slaying a curse suguru threw at him

“Suguru and I will take Riko to Master Tengens place, im leaving this guy to you okay? Not like he’d win anyways, since after all-” he cut off what you were saying with a kiss before smirking

“After all, Im the strongest”

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

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“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him