#been a while since I posted here!

[yuxinmi]

One of the best things i have scripted and can't wait to experience is my androgynous look 🤭

I just want to feel handsome and pretty at the same time and i know for damn sure i'll be staring at my reflection everytime and everywhere

[lscholar]

A SEMI-REASONABLE 40 CHARACTER SMASH ROSTER

An exercise in indulgence and egoism, and posted as the same.

THE RULES:

1. Characters shall be semi-reasonable! Beatoriche I love you but this needs to be a roster composed of characters who could conceivably actually make it into Smash. They should be from video games, and ideally ones people care about.

2. Characters shall be gender balanced! I separated my picks into four categories: GUYS, GIRLS, and CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager). the number of GUYS shall be EQUAL TO OR LESSER THAN the number of GIRLS. I set this restriction on myself and so should you.

3. Characters shall be 40 of them! but you could tell that from the title.

GUYS

MARIO - You have to have this guy. also like it's been like 20+ years since Sunshine can we not give him something other than FLUDD?

DONKEY KONG, LUIGI, NESS, BOWSER, FOX, WARIO - You also have to have these guys. I cut Captain Falcon, as we already had Fox as a Smash original character.

LINK - Someday we will be able to put Link in the CHARACTERS OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER list, but not yet.

KING DEDEDE - Sakurai made this so his faves get a little extra attention. I claim that same right.

SNAKE - Updated for MGSV, naturally.

SONIC (Palette Swap: SHADOW) - I really really don't care about these guys. I kind of actively hate them actually. but they deserve to be here, even if all their moves are the same (turning into a ball and the ball flies at you).

CLOUD - The iconic Final Fantasy pretty boy. Would I prefer Lightning? yeah. but this is the semi-realistic roster.

PHOENIX WRIGHT - I know, preaching to the crowd here. This guy is a tumblr darling behind only his boyfriend Miles Edgeworth. But they've put him in fighting games before! And he totally has a moveset, right? Presenting his badge as a jab, shooting OBJECTION and TAKE THAT! (HOLD IT! is a grab!), submitting paperwork and random items hoping and praying that they'll be accepted as evidence...

Barely missed the cut: Sans Undertale, Sekiro, Shulk, Solaire, Paper Mario, Sora.

GIRLS

SAMUS - You have to have this girl.

PEACH/DAISY - Ideally Daisy would get Luigified (this is the very technical term for when a Smash character starts out as a clone and then gets differentiated) as the Mario Sports Game Representation. But that probably wouldn't happen. Peach is fine. kind of

ZELDA (Breath of the Wild/Tears Of The Kingdom) - The opposite of the Smash Ultimate dynamic. Smash Lscholar Link is old-school Link; Zelda is newer Zelda. Like in Hyrule Warriors she fights using runes on her magic ipad/wii u pad/nintendo switch game console. Bombs, Ice Block, Ultrahand - and the ability to Recall all of them, sending them flying backwards along their trajectories when the attack is reinput. An evil zoner but let's be honest: she already is. Maybe she has a "take a picture" that can stun?

ISABELLE, ROSALINA - both need reworks. Isabelle in particular has the potential to be a Kirby for new players - but hitting with her is so hard that most try her for a round and play Toon Link instead.

BAYONETTA - No notes.

HORNET (Hollow Knight: Silksong) - Clear moveset, fan favorite, zero questions.

D.VA (Overwatch and, fine, Overwatch 2) - The single most popular Overwatch character by far, and a much needed female heavyweight character. Would translate pretty well to Smash as a pushy zippy tank-type.

EDELGARD VON HRESVELG (Fire Emblem: Three Houses/Three Hopes) - big smashy axe, avowed militant atheist, Vriska, Fire Emblem rep. Smash Lsclr's Ike. Slow but dangerous, with surprising range, much like Byleth; unlike Byleth she is an actual character. also her axe twirl has to be a taunt. Also she's canonically bisexual. which would make her the second bisexual smash character after Snake, and the third in my heart after Cloud Strife (Byleth isn't real).

REIMU HAKUREI (Touhou) - Iconic rep from possibly the single most important indie game series.

CHUN LI (STREET FIGHTER) - Honestly surprised they put Ryu in Smash. I feel like if you asked anybody to name a Street Fighter character Chun Li would be first?

UNDYNE (Undertale) - Fine. Susie (Deltarune) is also acceptable.

VI or JINX or SOME LEAGUE OF LEGENDS GIRL (LoL) - as with Sonic I don't care for these but they have undeniably earned their places. Arcane was better than it should have been and I really hope Mel Medarda survives into s2.

SABER (Fate/Stay Night) - It's Saber! I know this seems like a meme pick but I really do think she deserves to be here.

Barely missed the cut: Karlach or Shadowheart, The Silent, Arle Nadja, Vriska

CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager)

PIKACHU - You have to have this thing. Brand recognition on par with Santa Claus or Jesus. A creature for sure, even if its tail indicates biological gender.

KIRBY - This is technically a Guy but in practice this is a creature. also I have one less Guy than Girl so I could put him there, but I chose not to.

YOSHI/BIRDO - Put a trans woman in Smash. She's just a Yoshi reskin and that's fine.

MARTH/LUCINA - The other Fire Emblem rep. Why does Awakening get like three characters? may have to make Marth a bit less floaty to make this work but they really should consolidate these two.

POKEMON TRAINER (Charizard, Ivysaur, Squirtle) - good on nintendo for making it possible to play pokemon trainer as a guy or girl.

POKEMON TRAINER 2 (Gengar, Gardevoir, Lucario) - We have so many pokemon and here's three more. swap out one of your choice for Jigglypuff or Mewtwo or Mimikyu or Greninja or whatever, as long as your substitution isn't from Kanto. This pokemon trainer is a bit more of a tryhard, and wears darker clothing. also their pokemon are category balanced: one is a guy, one is a girl, and one is a creature.

INKLING - Kind of a creature and definitely not of either cardinal gender. these kids squids are nonbinary. A good addition to smash; may they goop and bloop for many games to come.

Wii FIT TRAINER - Mix in Wii Sports and Ring Fit and whatever else.

ANIMAL CROSSING VILLAGER/MINECRAFT STEVE AND ALEX/PACMAN AND MS PACMAN - CHARACTERS OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER

NOAH AND MIO XENOBLADE (XENOBLADE 3) - Like Pyra and Mythra but less gross. Mio has faster short range chakram attacks and mobility; Noah has slower harder-hitting moves.

THE ASSASSIN (Assassin's Creed) - Snake represents Solid, Naked, and Venom; why can't The Assassin be Altair, Ezio, and whoever else?

Barely missed the cut: Duck Hunt, Toad/Toadette.

if you got mad at me about removing your favorite character reply and I'll tell you why I took them out. probably because I didn't care about them.

[jackstabbaths]

“I go through hell and back to clear my name, beat the shit out of the guy that framed me and nearly ruined mine and everyone’s lives, and even SHOOT A GOD IN THE FACE, ONLY TO BE LOCKED IN SOME WEIRD LIMBO BULLSHIT WITH AKECHI!”

[naiad-r]

Cage me like an animal A crown with gems and gold Eat me like a cannibal Chase the neon throne If I could only let go

Death pact, fulfilled.

[samgatinho]

its grian and grian !

big fan of lailaimei's animatic where cm!grian meets hc!grian hehe

[neo-mimosa]

birthday boy 

[slavhew]

charmed, i'm sure

[chipchopclipclop]

i caught up on the blue exorcist manga the other day after dropping it in like 2017 so ive just been thinking about my idiot sons again

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

[ontosgold]

future vision

[spirk-trek]

Star Trek Set Tour 9/?: Control Panels

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

[thatswhatsushesaid]

content warning: canon-typical 3zun 🫠

bonus huaisang, as a treat:

[mozquito]

tag two blokes who do fuck all

[nedeii]

[fictionalsupermarket]

TELL US YOUR WISH!!! (original artwork under cut)