#been a while since i last played so specifics are kinda fuzzy

[pomegranate-fawn]

Weekly dump: Nostalgia

Hi everyone, or no one. I kinda just wanted to do a weekly dump post mostly to talk about things going on either in my life or the world, some of these will be super light hearted while others more serious. But I just wanted a place to share all these thoughts along with some photos! Firstly…

This is technically from last Saturday but…I beat Slow Damage along with my partner @diced-sugar . It was incredible, I first became interested in the game back near the end of 2023, I thought Towa’s design was fantastic and had to know more. At the beginning of 2024, I bought. It took over a year for us to beat due to a lot of factors (mostly school and health related issues, 2024 was a rough year for us both) but oh my god. That game changed me, it’s my favorite game now, I was truly fortunate to be born in a time where Slow Damage exists, in May I plan to share my in-depth thoughts and analysis but until then please know that I love that game with whole heart. Same week I beat it, J-list suddenly restocked the physical copy of not only sldm but all the other Chiral games translated by Jast Blue. I was hyped and bought it since I love to own physical media :)

Next, I’ve been trying to break my habit of scrolling and get back into creating art…keyword is “trying”. It’s not always an easy task, tumblr and Pinterest are the only social media platforms I have (not counting YouTube) and even then I’ll wildly scroll to just fill the static void that is my mind. So…how do I solve this? Recognizing the problem is the first step to fixing it, that’s what my therapist said. But I feel like it’s the worst part since I know it’s not good but keep doing it. I recently got clip studio paint on my tablet to draw but I’m not good at it yet and even though everyone’s art journey is different I can’t help feeling a bit embarrassed that I’m not good at art since I’m older.

I plan to keep practicing but my lack of skill can make it frustrating. I’m a good writer but I’m in my finals crunch and sometimes my brain just doesn’t have anything to write. So I’ve slowly started playing some of my old childhood favorites in hopes of combatting the scrolling, firstly I’ve started replaying animals crossing new leaf. The game is super nostalgic to me and I used to play it for an absurd amount of time. Well I started with City Folk, but once I got a 3ds I ditched city folk in a heartbeat.

I lost my original cartridge but my 3ds is jailbroken so I can play whatever I want whenever I want essentially. Now, I want to say this to anyone who used to love this game as a kid. You will not relive your childhood playing acnl. At least…I don’t feel the same as when I used to play it, and that’s not a bad thing. I am no longer the ten year old girl I once was, I am now twenty two years old, I have a job I hate, am about to receive my bachelors, and I finally have cats. Something ten year old Lynn would scream about all she wanted was a cat of her own. I don’t feel the same awe I once did for the world of animal crossing…but I feel I appreciate it more. The atmosphere is often called depressing but I don’t see it that way, it’s calm and quiet…quaint but not sad. I think the reason people find acnl sad is because they believed they’d be able to relive their past, but it’s not there anymore. The game remains the same but you’ve changed.

When thinking about nostalgia and a return to simpler times, I tend to have a fuzzy memory. I can’t remember much of my childhood, I blocked out a lot of stuff so much so that I’ll ask my mom if she remembers a specific incident from when I was a kid only for her to look at me with pained eyes and tell me that what I said wasn’t a real memory. I’m content never memorizing everything in detail, I know I suffered as a kid and that my few means of escapism such as video games and reading would always remain. As a kid I rejected most things feminine as a result of my trauma, meaning when I was given a more girly game I often hated it. That isn’t the case now, after a long or stressful day the last thing I want to do is play fire emblem or Zelda, I want to play animal crossing or Style Savvy.

I used to hate this game as a kid but now it’s my bread and butter. I love fashion so much but I’m not always inclined to try new styles irl especially since I’m goth so most of the time I’m buying more pieces to bulk up my wardrobe. I mean I can’t have the same shade of black they must all be different shades! But in style savvy I can dress my character in whatever little outfit I want and have the time of my life. It’s not a nostalgic game despite me playing it as a child, but it’s still a game I play a ton of whenever I’m in the mood for something fun but simple.

I crashed out hard earlier this week and while I don’t want to talk about that at length I did want to talk about my main outlet, writing. It makes me sad that AI threatens to take over all aspects of writing because even the worst part, editing, feels rewarding when it’s finally complete. At least, I’d rather edit a paper myself, beg a friend or my gf to do it, or pay a tutor to do it over handing my hard work over to a stupid robot. I’ve tried to make my work desk super aesthetic in hopes of motivating me to write more…but that isn’t always possible as I have BACK ISSUES! But I’m trying to write more at my desk for my own sake. Then again I guess it doesn’t matter where I’m writing as long as it turns out good.

As a child I wasn’t really allowed to read children’s books as my grandpa said they were beneath me. The only children’s book I read was Alice in Wonderland and honestly considering that I’m still a big Alice fan to this day I wonder if the denial of other books meant for my age demographic made me lock on Alice more than I would have had I been allowed more children’s literature. This is all to say I’m reading Warrior Cats as an adult as my gf rlly loves these books…I just finished Forest of Secrets and god warrior fans are strong. I actually dislike the writing a lot in these books but not because the prose is bad. I understand these are children’s books but I feel like because they are children’s books they have the responsibility to be better regarding certain topics. I swear almost every time poor Cinderpaw is brought up either Fireheart or another character has to remind us that she’s disabled and can’t be a warrior and that this is a horrible fate.

Only cat that doesn’t do this is my girl Yellowfang but ever since the first book she’s been kinda sidelined which sucks cause she’s still my favorite so far which…I don’t know if that’s an issue of me holding onto Yellowfang or an issue of the books not making many other cats interesting so far. I mean I really like Fireheart and Bluestar but that’s it. I was so excited when Sandpaw became Sandstorm and started being friendly with Fireheart since I know they become mates. So I was like omg they’re gonna start bonding! But not really? It’s more like she’s friendly with him and he’s either neutral or like, “not now Sandstorm MY BEST FRIEND GRAYSTRIPE NEEDS ME!” God I’m sorry for any Graystripe lovers I do not care for him right now. Maybe that’ll change but he’s so selfish! But I will at least manage to finish The Prophecy Begins, I’m reading a book per month and that means in a few days I’ll start the fourth book, yay! In honor of warriors take my cat, Willow. I think she’d be perfect for irl Mapleshade casting if they ever did a weird irl warriors.

I’ve focused a lot on nostalgia but what even invokes such a feeling? It’s different for everyone, honestly it’s hard for me to feel nostalgic as the past wasn’t kind to me. I know a lot of people are nostalgic for the year 2016, but for me, I hated that year due to so many horrible things that happened to me in it. It’s hard to remember the fun trends or music that came out when that was the year I tried to leave this world. But when talking about nostalgia, I can’t help but feel it the most in the moment. When I’m laughing with a friend a voice in the back of my mind whispers “this will pass and remain only in your memories”. When I hold my partner close the same voice appears again, when I’m with my cats I mourn them despite both of them being happy and young girls. I have no past and can only be nostalgic for the present and the future I have yet to live…

Well, that’s how I think of it at least. I don’t know if every week will have a theme or not but I just wanted to get my thoughts out on this. Writing in a Google doc or notebook can only do so much, I want my embarrassing thoughts to be out in the open for everyone on tumblr dot com to read…not really but why not share my thoughts here? It is a blogging site, after all. If you’ve read this far you get a reward…face reveal! Chose this photo since I thought I looked like a sad deer caught in headlights okie bye see you next week or when I need to rant about yaoi or warrior cats again…

SYKE I’m not done yet, wanted to share a song I’ve listened to a lot this week + a video I liked. I’m doing two songs this week because I make the rules! First we have Heart aka the new alien stage song. Sua’s Va has the prettiest voice ever and Sua is my fav character so I felt like this was me being given a gift for how much I was struggling this week lol. It’s such a gorgeous song.

Next is a song from a visual novel I have yet to play or even check out. So pls if you like it don’t give spoilers! But I love anything that Itou Kanako does especially since she sang all of the songs for Clear’s endings and her voice is lovely. I may actually play the game the song is from cause I love the song that much!!! It’s so beautiful!

Lastly the video I liked this week. I actually didn’t watch much…but occasionally I watch/listen to the podcast A Bit Fruity by Matt Bernstein. I don’t listen to every episode but he recently did one with one of my favorite YouTubers Kat Blaque and I really loved it. I feel like they talked a lot about gender and the way that’s different for everyone while not being too cruel to the person they were criticizing which was refreshing since when I was on Twitter everyone just made fun of their looks and called it a day. I think that’s a cheap and pathetic thing to do especially since you’re just giving them more attention and further fueling their victim complex if you attack features they were born with. But yeah I really liked this episode, okay that’s officially all now…goodbye! Have a lovely Sunday!

[teardropsonmyheartstrings]

OK, I've been debating over this for ages...

Who of you guys is familiar with Stationhead?

I've been listening almost religiously for months now, and I've got questions.

For those who have never seen this name:

Stationhead is an app that can be linked to your Apple Music or Spotify account and allows streaming playlists, so you can share them with others in real time. It includes a chat function and some other little bits and bobs. Artists--including Taylor--occasionally use it for listening parties, where they stream a specific playlist, and fans go nuts in the chat. All good fun. Taylor Nation has an account they use for those listening parties, and they are usually announced beforehand via instagram, etc.

Whenever there is no active listening party, there's still a Swifties channel. There's a whole syndicate that shares the responsibility of keeping the music playing there. They can stream music simultaneously, but only one gets featured "on air" on the channel at any one time. I can't really determine whether those individual hosts are fans, or what, or how they got into the syndicate. But I did notice two things: 1) Just before a listening party, a certain host called "swiftiesss13" tends to take over the channel. Basically while everyone is gathering and waiting for the main event to start. 2) There also seems to be a default host that plays whenever no one else from the syndicate is active. That would be taylorswifties13 (LOVE the 1989 icon 😉).

Please note, that these are all just my observations. I know nothing about the behind the scenes that are going on. If anyone here knows more or thinks I'm spewing utter nonsense, PLEASE fill me in!

Now.

The thing I feel kinda weird about sharing, but which I really would appreciate thoughts on... So, on that default station, the host taylorswifties13 has been playing the same playlist for several months now. I BELIEVE the most recent changes to the playlist occurred around mid November. Specifically, Nov. 15th, IF I'm not mistaken. I'm going by text messages I sent to my friend back then, and my fuzzy memory/awareness of what came before then, because up until then, I'd been listening for months, but hadn't known what to look for. First of all, let me share the playlist that has been in place ever since then:

Note, that since I have no way of knowing for sure, my staring point of Begin Again is perfectly arbitrary. As for the colour coding, red indicates songs from the The Eras Tour setlist. That's 21 tracks out of 47, so close to half. In addition to that, we have tolerate it, which used to be on the setlist, and Florida!!!, which was part of the TTPD set for four shows (London and Miami). I wasn't sure whether to count the latter as a setlist song, or a surprise song, but I'll mostly count it as a surprise song. The tracks in green, are songs she played on her final leg in USA/Canada. Any tracks with an asterisk (*) were surprise songs during the European leg of the tour. Please don't be too confused by all of my annotating and colour coding; it’s all a bit silly on my part, but maybe it's helpful to someone else..? Dunno.

And here's the "juiciest" bit about it all

...assuming I haven't lost you by now.

If you would please direct your attention to tracks 35 and 36:

Gorgeous (track 34) ends, This Love starts playing, but STOPS just a few seconds into the actual verse. If you look at the progress bar, this is exactly how long the song is meant to play. I once tried following it up by adding this song to my Spotify favourites (which you can do via the Stationhead app), but it only gave me the proper version. Very odd. Anyway, I was so puzzled over this almost straight away, but it took me several more months (last week) to think of checking the runtime. Here it gets a bit so-so.... because it's 38 seconds. But not sharp. It's NOT 39 seconds, but it's also not exactly 38. Still. Very strange, kinda tantalising, not quite precise enough for my liking and YET so UNCANNY. On a stopwatch that doesn't show the milliseconds, it certainly WOULD be 38 seconds... 🤷‍♀️ If you are wondering about my reaction time: I also isolated the exact snippet of the track in video editor, and it was under 39 seconds. The whole thing is compounded by the fact that the original Fearless plays right after. The original. EVERYONE in the chat keeps complaining about the "stolen" version. Ok. I get it. But also, why does no one else find it weird?! They are raging, but no one is questioning. In a playlist with ONLY TVs, except the two reputation songs which have no TVs yet. In fact, there's ONLY two rep songs and NO Debut songs. The host is otherwise very mindful of their curation.

For me, the odd skip, followed by this odd OG version immediately brought ONE thing to mind:

This was from Karlie's snapchat stories. It entered the lore officially, when Taylor referenced it in her The Man music video, on the graffiti wall.

Why I think it's relevant and it all fits together?

* This Love (a 1989 song, contains lyrics like "this love came back to me" etc) plays for only a short time, which should raise eyebrows on it's own, but arguably, it also runs for 38 seconds. * OG Fearless (rather than TV) is another way to make you stop and think, but it ALSO is the version that actually was out when the mirror thing happened. There were no TVs yet.

ANOTHER ALSO. The "We Are Fearless" mirror thing happened November 16, 2016. Remember when I THINK the playlist changed to THIS?! Mid November 2024 (15th). At first I thought it was 16th, but I live in Australia, so my 16th isn't America's 16th yet early in the morning, which was when I discovered it. (Dang! 🤣) Anyway, close enough? I want to say "take this with the hugest grain of salt" because I didn't quite have my shit together back then. But in favour of this being odd: I knew about the mirror, I didn't know when exactly it happened. When I searched my text history to find the dates for when I became aware of all this, I STILL didn't know when the mirror thing happened. I found that date on my phone first, before googling the video of the mirror writing, which then conveniently came with an actual date. I was shocked. It just fit too well.

Ok, so far so good.

But I'm still at a loss. As I mentioned before, everyone regularly complains about stolen Fearless. NO ONE ever asks why This Love is cut off. I question on the daily whether I'm just going nuts. Isn't it happening to ANYONE ELSE?! But it has to, as the playlist is streamed. It would mess up the entire timing from thereon, if it didn't happen to everyone at the same time. I'd think you don't have to be a Gaylor to find it strange?!

Oh, and a wee bit more Kaylor...

This really is a minor thing, but did you notice track 22? It just so happens to be the Kendrick Lamar version, as in NOT the exact version from the Eras Tour, but the one from that lovely music video, which features our girls boxing their hearts out 🥵 Not very demure, but feels VERY mindful, no?

I have one last thing to add:

I can't exactly send in evidence for this, as the playlist is super long, but y'all are free to waste some time and fact check me if you don't believe it... the entire playlist runs for 3h03 min (and once again a couple of extra seconds, so not perfectly on the dot, but for a whole playlist that's to be expected). What's that in MINUTES, you may immediately wonder? 183. Thank you very much 🙈

BUT WELL...

Let's think critically here for a moment... I'm either delusional, or this playlist does have "KAYLOR" written all over it. Cool. Fun. BUT HOW DO WE KNOW, that this playlist isn't just made up by one of us? Unfortunately, we don't. Or at least I don't. If any of you could elucidate, I'd be totally thrilled! Things that make me have a wee bit of faith:

It appears to be the default playlist on the Swifties channel

The tracks are very mindful of the TV situation, just like playlists that are coming from a more officially official source: NO Debut, as little reputation as possible, but then the odd one out Fearless OG

This is where the surprise songs come into play: the ratio of non-setlist tracks that were actually played during the America leg of the tour as surprise songs is a bit higher than what I'd expect to be chance alone. I've since tried to come up with random lists of songs and compared them to the actual surprise songs to kinda test this. I fell very short with some, came rather close with others, never quite reached the exact same number, let alone higher. I could be totally wrong, but this list of songs, that was first aired just a few shows into the American leg, contains a suspicious number of surprise songs. Almost like the curator knew that some of them would be played. Dunno. I'm aware that this isn't good evidence, but still something I noticed.

To sum it all up.

This has been driving me insane. I don't know if I see patterns where there are none, or if I see them alright, but the source is just another Kaylor having fun with it. Any thoughts, comments, insights would be MORE THAN WELCOME. What do you think? Is this something random, or is Miss Taylor having a jolly good time messing with us?

[violetlilysunshine]

Like a Sleepover

Tom Holland x Female Reader

Requested

Anon: Sleeping over Tom Holland house for the first time. Lots of fluff please

WC: 3,544

Warnings: none, just fluff

A/N: I'm seeing this take place in Atlanta, but it’s not really specific if you wanna imagine it somewhere else!

REQUESTS OPEN - Or just come chat :)

MASTERLIST

You and Tom had been together for a little while; you were getting serious, spending more and more time together.

Last month, you finally put a label on yourselves, “is it...ya know, uh… can I, well…” he stuttered.

“Spit it out, Tommy,” you joked.

“Can I call you my girlfriend?”

You were taken aback for a second, “well, uh, to be honest, I kinda thought I already was…” you giggled.

He laughed at you gently, “well alright then, girlfriend…” he trailed off with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Okay, boyfriend.”

TUESDAY

Flash forward and you’re making plans for this weekend seeing as you're both off from filming.

“Yeah, so they’re showing Outsiders at the drive-in on Friday, and we’d have to go to the later showing after I finish filming, but uh, I thought it would be fun and something different for us and I know you love the movie. Might be fun to dress like Greasers too,” he proposed through the phone, calling you between scenes.

“Ooh that does sound like fun, but I wanna be Cherry,” you said, giggling a bit.

“Okay, you can be Cherry, I’ll be Ponyboy,” he finalized.

“Sounds good, well I gotta go,” you said, “duty calls.”

“Yeah, me too, but uh, one more thing real fast?”

“Sure, what’s up, babe?”

“Well seeing as it’s going to be really late, I just thought maybe after it’s over, you could maybe stay with me?” his voice tweaked up at the end. He was met with silence on your end for a minute before he added, “ya know, like a sleepover…”

“Uh, yeah, maybe…” you trailed off, “we’ll see what the wind blows, huh?”

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping a bit, “yeah sounds good.”

“Okay, well I really do have to run.”

“Alright, darling, talk to you tonight.”

“Bye,” you said, already walking out of your trailer and back to set.

“Yeah, bye,” he answered to himself, seeing as you’d already ended the call.

You had never been nervous with him before, but now he’d casually invited you to stay over at his house for the night, something you’d never done with any boyfriend, ever. You didn’t know how to act, and it kinda freaked you out.

Was he expecting anything? What would you even wear? Should you bring a change of clothes? Would late night last into early morning? What if you woke up before him and didn’t know what to do in his house? What if he woke up first and you slept in really late, leaving him bored and trapped?

Questions swirled your mind, and you knew he would bring it up again, but you had to force them away. You hustled back to set, getting into character and trying to forget about everything.

He called you later that night, “wanna grab a bite with Harry and I?” he proposed.

“Uh sure,” you thought since Harry would be there, he wasn’t likely to bring it up again.

You met him just down the street from his house at the forgotten diner you frequented, never being recognized and getting some peace together. You grabbed burgers and chatted about your day as you ate and everything seemed fine. He didn’t bring it up again, and you thought you would have another few days to process everything and hopefully get over the hurdles in your mind. You wanted to stay with him, but you didn’t know how that would play out, exactly.

“Finished?” he asked, gesturing to your empty tray as he stood up.

“Yeah, thanks,” you smiled, and he cleaned up the table and took the trash to the can.

“I’m gonna walk back, if that’s okay,” Harry said, standing from the table, “got some photos I wanna edit.”

“Sure, bro, I’ll be right behind you,” Tom answered, coming back to you.

“Bye,” you waved as he left you and Tom alone.

“Walk you to your car?” Tom offered.

You stood up, turning around to thank the workers as the two of you left the diner. He walked you to your car, one hand secured around your shoulders, hugging you tight to his side.

“So, uh, I kinda got the sense that you didn’t want to stay with me earlier,” he said slowly, testing the waters to see how you would react.

You swallowed hard, turning to lean on the door of your car, “oh,” you whispered, “well uh, it’s not that, it’s just that I don’t - I’ve never really, uh, done that before.”

“Yeah I know we haven’t, love,” he chuckled.

“I mean, like ever,” you whispered, looking at the ground, “I just uh, don’t really know how that works.”

“Oh, well, uh, it’s not that hard really,” he soothed, “you just sorta sleep at my place, and I take care of you, and make you breakfast, and we just be together.”

You looked into his chocolate eyes, nothing but love pouring out of them. You don’t know how long you held his gaze for, but he started to get a little nervous at your lack of response.

“I mean, we’ve napped together before, it’s kinda like the same thing, just longer,” he added, trying to put you at ease.

“But like, what’s gonna happen?” you said, fiddling with your hands.

He understood what your emphasis meant, bringing a hand to your shoulder and rubbing it gently, “I’m not expecting anything, love,” he soothed you, “if it happens, fine, I’m ready for that. If you’re not that’s fine too, just wanna cuddle with you. Feel you pressed against me. Have my sheets smell like you when I get in ‘em the next night.”

You felt more at ease about it, but wrinkled your nose at his last statement.

His eyes grew wide, “no no no,” he hurried out, “I didn’t mean it, like, in a weird way! It came out wrong!”

You giggled at him, “it’s okay, bub, I get it. Why do you think I like wearing your hoodies all the time?”

He breathed a sigh of relief, chuckling at you, “yeah?”

“Yeah, and to be honest I don’t really even like hoodies. I’m a sweatshirt kind of gal.”

“Noted,” he answered, saving that info for later, “so what d’ya think about Friday?”

“I’ll stay, but like, do I bring anything?”

“You can bring whatever makes you comfortable, love,” he answered quietly, stepping towards you and cupping your face in his hands.

“Okay,” you breathed, connecting your lips to his.

You kissed for a while, his body pressing yours into the door. You pulled back to take a breath, resting your forehead on his, “but really, do I bring like, a toothbrush and stuff?”

“Yes, love, bring a toothbrush,” he chuckled, pecking you again. He swung his arm around your shoulder again, pulling you off the car, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

He opened your door, letting you inside the driver’s seat and closing the door. You started the car, him still standing there watching you. You rolled down the window, “are you coming or what?” you laughed.

“What?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I’m taking you home, obviously,” you giggled.

He ran around to the other side, hopping in quickly and buckling up. His hand rested against your thigh instantly, stroking his thumb across your skin.

You made the short drive to his house, lights on downstairs showing that Harry was already there.

“Thanks for the ride, baby,” Tom said, leaning over the console and giving you a quick peck.

“Anytime,” you whispered, pecking him again.

“See you Friday,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows, squeezing your thigh.

“Yeah, Friday,” you answered quickly.

He pecked you one last time before slipping out of the car and jogging to the front door. You watched him go inside, waving to each other before you drove off.

THURSDAY

After you were off, you took a long shower, exfoliating everything and shaving your legs, in preparation for tomorrow night. You carefully packed your bag: toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, mouthwash, hair brush, extra ponytail holders, face wash, cute pajamas, fuzzy socks, extra undies (more than you’ll ever possibly need but can’t be too prepared, right?), a cute outfit for Saturday, and a book (because who knows what the tide will bring?).

You’d spent so long worrying about what you would take with you, that you’d forgotten that you had to find something to wear to the movie. You’d already agreed to be Cherry, so you had to come up with something.

You slipped to the back of your closet, finding an old-plaid-navy-school-uniform skirt. That’ll work. You pulled out a plain white sweater that you’d never found a chance to wear, thinking you could tuck that in, and a lace bralette to go underneath it; after all, you wanted to feel a little sexy. You pulled forward some old blue Vans and some white crew socks, planning to fold them over. You also planned to ask your hair and make-up artist to help you with your hair before you left set tomorrow, saving a few pictures for her.

By the time you’d done all that, you figured you better go to bed, turning off the light, crawling into bed, and thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

FRIDAY

You’d had a long and stressful day filming, stuttering over your lines, missing your marks, and overall just not giving your best performance. Everyone has their off days, but you knew this was coming from your worries about tonight.

You called Tom as you were getting your hair done after wrapping for the day.

“Hi, bub, am I interrupting you?” you asked as soon as he answered.

“Never, love,” he answered, “what’s up?”

“Well, I’m getting my hair done for tonight, then I was going to head home. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t want me to stop and get anything at all or bring anything specific with me..”

“Course not, darling. You just have to bring that pretty face…” he trailed off.

If you were with him, you’d have slapped his shoulder lightly. Instead you just giggled, asking, “you’re positive?”

“Yes darling,” he insisted, “I’ll pick you up at 9:00.”

“Alright…” you trailed, “guess I better let you get back to work.”

“I’ll see you later, beautiful,” he whispered, “bye.”

“Bye.”

Your hair and make-up artist finished her work, expertly recreating your example images. You thanked her profusely, complimenting her over and over.

She answered with a simple, “it’s nothing dear,” and a wave of her hand.

You hugged her thank you, heading back to your trailer to collect your things.

By the time you got back to your apartment, it was already 8:30. You quickly dropped your work and other set junk on the table, scurrying to your room to collect your bag for Tom’s. You checked over everything in there, playing all the possible scenarios in your mind before deciding you were prepared.

You changed into your outfit for the night, lacing your shoes and admiring yourself in the full length mirror. You snapped a few pictures, deciding that one was cute and posted it to your Instagram story with the caption, “where’s my Pony?” and a cherry emoji.

As soon as you put it up, Tom knocked on your door. You rushed through the living room to the front door, flinging it open to see what Tom had concocted for the evening. You took in his appearance, mouth watering at the sight. You admired his slicked back hair, tight grey t-shirt, sleeves rolled up a bit of course, loose jeans, cuffed at the hem, beat up black converse, and red flannel hanging over his shoulder; you didn’t realize the effect this dress-up would have on you. You giggled, eyeing him up and down as he did the same to you.

“Hey, doll,” he grinned, meeting your eyes again.

“Hey, Pony,” you laughed.

“Ready to go?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, let me just get my bag from my room,” you said, turning back to grab it from your bed.

At the last second you decided to throw a box of tampons in. You weren’t expecting to use them, but you didn’t want to get stranded without them. You sighed, zipping up the bag and turning off your bedroom light.

You emerged from the room, walking towards Tom, standing by the table.

“Ready,” you said, voice kind of quiet.

“Let’s go then,” he smiled brightly, taking your bag from you and grabbing your hand. You locked the door behind you before following him to his car.

~~~~

When you parked to watch the movie, Tom was quick to pull out his phone, snapping a picture of the title screen and posting it to his public story. You knew fans would be in a tizzy, considering your earlier post, but they always were so what’s the point in worrying. Then he turned to you, “take a photo with me, love?”

“Course, Pony, anything for you,” you said dramatically, even though you loved it.

“Are you gonna call me that all night?” he chuckled.

“Maybe forever,” you answered, laughing loudly.

He pulled his phone up to take a selfie. You smiled wide, pressing your faces together, and he turned to peck your cheek. He snapped another, smiling as well, saving it and setting it as his lock screen.

The movie was great, as expected, and the drive-in atmosphere made it even more fun. You didn’t have to worry about fans interrupting you, a big plus, but it also just fit the movie so well, and it was fun to be in costume.

When it wrapped up and you were waiting in the traffic to pull out of the lot, Tom asked gently, “still wanna come over?”

“Yeah, sure,” you said, trying not to overthink things.

“Okay, just making sure. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just want you to be comfortable,” he said, dropping a hand to your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, well I wanna give it a go,” you said with a small smile, placing your hand on top of his.

He smiled wide, picking up your hand to give it a kiss, before dropping it back into your lap.

The drive to his house was quick after you finally made it out of the parking lot. He hurried around the car, opening your door for you, before grabbing your bag from the backseat.

He placed a hand on your lower back, gently guiding you to the front door. He shuffled around to unlock it, pushing open the door and allowing you to enter first. You stepped inside, making note of Harry on the couch. It was almost 1:00 AM, so you’d assumed he'd be asleep.

“Oh, hey Harry,” you spoke lightly.

“Hey, was wondering when you’d get here…” he trailed off, “I was just about to turn in. Outfit’s great by the way,” he said, standing from the couch and gathering his laptop.

“I don’t mean to chase you out,” you said, not wanting to be in the way.

“No, no, you didn’t,” he soothed, “it’s time to turn in anyway, gonna go golf in the morning.”

“Oh, okay, goodnight.”

“Night,” he said, trudging down the hall.

Tom had set your bag on the bench in the entryway, coming up behind you. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you flush against his front, as he snuggled his face into your neck.

“Hi,” he whispered in your hair.

“Hi,” you giggled back, attempting to turn in his grasp.

His hands held you in place, wrapping around to cross over your stomach. He rested his weight against you, slowly swaying the both of you back and forth.

You eyed the mirror across the room, desperate to take pictures like this. After all, he got a new lockscreen earlier…

“Bub,” you giggled, feeling his breath fan across your neck.

“Mmm, yes, my love?” he grumbled, pressing kisses against your skin.

“I wanna take a picture,” you giggled, “over in that cool mirror.”

He squeezed you tighter for a second, before releasing you, “mmkay,” he answered, letting you lead him over to the mirror.

“Do that again,” you told him, guiding his arms around your waist.

He was quick to settle back into you, breathing in your scent as you snapped a few photos in the mirror: a few of him kissing your neck, a few with you both looking in the mirror, a few of him looking at you, lovingly. He buried his face even further into you, hiding completely, as you took just one more. You asked him if it was okay to post one.

“Let me see it first,” he said, wanting to check all of the surroundings for spoilers and whatnot.

He was quick to approve the photo with his lips pressed to your jaw, making you smile.

You put it up on your story, captioning this one, “found him,” with the horse and cherry emojis.

He kissed your neck a few times, watching you post, before mumbling, “ready for bed?”

You yawned slowly, “yeah, I think so.”

“Alright,” he whispered, pecking your cheek one final time.

He slid one hand down your arm, locking your fingers together, and pulling you towards the staircase. He picked up your bag, carrying it with him up to his bedroom. You followed him in and he set your bag on the end of the bed.

“Alright, darling,” he said, rubbing his hands together gently, “make yourself at home.”

“Okay,” you giggled, stepping towards the end of the bed gently.

He’d placed your bag in the middle, next to a sweatshirt. You looked at him, making note of its presence.

“Oh, well, uh, you said you didn’t like hoodies, so I uh, pulled this one out for you, ya know, if you want it,” he said, shuffling his feet.

All you could do was smile, You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. You kissed him gently, lingering for just a second.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips.

“You’re welcome, darling.”

You turned towards the bed, stepping back from him.

“So what’d you bring?” he asked, one hand finding the zipper of your bag as he tried to get a peek inside. You were quick to stop his hands, not wanting him to see the box of tampons thrown on top.

“Things,” you said giggling, “teeth stuff, hair stuff, clothes, a book…” you trailed off.

“A book?” he laughed lightly, “what book?”

“Looking for Alaska,” you answered, “it’s my comfort book.”

“Well, you’ll have to read it to me,” he said with a glint in his eye.

“Okay,” you whispered with a sheepish smile.

“I’m gonna pop in the bathroom real quick, alright?”

“Of course, it’s your house,” you laughed.

In his absence, you changed clothes, dragging on your tiny sleep shorts and matching tank top and pulling his sweatshirt over the top. You moved your bag off the mattress, dropping it on the floor. He came back quickly, seeing your new outfit, and smiling widely.

“Looks good on you,” he grinned.

“Thanks,” you said, “can I take my makeup off?”

“Course,” he answered, gesturing to the bathroom.

While you did that, he changed as well, dressing in a new t-shirt and clean boxers; he didn’t want to get in bed with you for the first time in dirty boxers of course. He shuffled under the covers, tucking into his usual side and propping against the headboard. He scrolled through Instagram, reposting your stories to his own and liking a few posts of yours.

You returned, dropping your items back in your bag, and grabbing your book. You flipped off the overhead light and stepped into the other side, enjoying how utterly domestic everything felt.

He flipped on the lamp on the side table, opening his arm for you to rest against him. You settled against his chest, opening your book to start to read to him. He kissed your head and rubbed small circles into your arm.

Your eyes were getting heavy as you read, but you would gladly stay up all night reading with him. Unfortunately, he started to doze off, snoring just enough for you to hear. You closed the book, marking your page but knowing you’d have to go back a little bit tomorrow, and reached over to turn the light off.

He woke up a bit, grumbling, “what’re you doing, love?”

“Just turning off the light,” you whispered, “go back to sleep.”

He sank down to lay against the pillows. You dropped back over to your side, curling up, but leaving some distance between you two. You faced him, admiring his face as he slept.

“What’re you doing?” he grumbled, eyes still closed.

“What do you mean?” you giggled, “going to sleep.”

“No, c’mere,” he said, reaching an arm out to wrap around your waist.

He pulled you into him, tangling your legs together and pecking your cheeks. You giggled at him, pulling his lips to yours, kissing him goodnight.

“G’night, my love,” he grumbled, tipping his head back to rest his chin against your forehead.

“Night, Pony,” you whispered back.

He chuckled, squeezing you tighter before you both drifted off to sleep.

[archxvxd]

Hi fellow Taurus bestie…I’m a long time reader and first time anon 🙈 so I got this idea and I had to share incase you wanna write about it 👀 anyways…I was listening to Slow Down by Chase Atlantic and this time the lyric “she said fuck me like I’m famous, I said oh-kay” stuck out to me and I was like wait a min 🤔✋🏼 what if there was a fic where the guy (I thought of Bakugo/Kuroo/Iwaizumi 🙈🙈🙈) was a singer and the reader is his crush/new gf…?? Anyways!! They’re getting ‘into it’ after a show/concert and she’s like… “if you can fuck as good as you sing, show me.” And he’s like bet and he wrecks her, breaks her back and all that

Anyways lemme know whatcha think bestie…🙈 I was kinda nervous to send this but I was like fuck it lemme do it before I forget and yeah…

A/N: Taurus Bestie🥺 You’re brain is immaculate please. Don’t ever hesitate to send me asks! I love interacting with y’all, I’m just not very good at initiating :(( I love this idea so much and I really thought it fit Iwaizumi well so I hope you enjoy!

Prompt: “If you can fuck as good as you can sing, show me.”

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Iwaizumi x fem!reader

Warnings: spit, oral (reader receiving), daddy kink, impact play, degradation, praising, swearing, hair pulling, choking, creampie, breeding if you squint, heavily unedited bc I hate editing my own smut😔✊🏼

Word count: 2.43k

You and Iwaizumi had been friends since high school, but even so, you had never been to one of his band’s shows before. Sure you had heard him sing many times and you knew he was talented, but this experience, getting to watch him from a VIP box while hundreds of thousands of people were cheering for him and singing along to his music? It was absolutely surreal. You admired how Iwaizumi seemed to belong on that stage.

However, the scene of Iwaizumi singing his heart out was doing things to you. Tonight was the last show of his tour, after that he was planning to go on hiatus for a few months before going back to the studio with his band. This was it. You had backstage privileges, courtesy of the singer himself, and you planned on making your move tonight. When Iwa left for his tour at the beginning of the year you were faced with some surprising feelings.

You realized you missed him more than just a friend should…

The set ended and the crowd was still going wild. You make your way backstage as the band plays a final encore song. When Iwaizumi emerges from the stage, sweat gleaming off of his ink littered muscles you practically salvate at the image. The lead singer immediately sets his eyes on you and makes a beeline towards you.

Iwaizumi doesn’t give you a chance to say anything. It had been over a year since he had last seen you in person and his adrenaline was running high. It was now or never. So he scooped you into his arms and crashed his lips to yours. As soon as the shock passes, you reciprocate his extremely passionate kiss.

Iwaizumi hums in approval at your quick submission and bites your lower lip before pulling away, letting a string of saliva form keep the two of you connected before it snaps.

“Shit, Yn. You know how long I’ve wanted to do that. I missed you so much it was maddening.” He lays his sweaty forehead on yours, pupils blown wide with adrenaline and lust.

You giggle at his declaration. “Missed you too, Haji. Where are you staying?”

A deep chuckle escapes his swollen lips. “At a hotel, Princess. Why?”

“Want you to show me if you can fuck me as good as you can sing.” You grin devilishly and Iwa returns the expression.

The musician opens his mouth to say something but is cut off by one of his band members who has already been eyeing you. “Hey, Iwa! Ya coming to the after party or what?”

Iwaizumi slings his arm over you. “Nah, man. Go on ahead without me. I got a different party to attend.”

The band member chuckles and shakes his head before waving and taking his exit.

You two lead by example and take your own exit.

The second the two of you make it to Iwa’s room, he has you pressed against the wall with his lips attached to yours. His tongue has already made it past your lips, exploring the cavern of your mouth, occasionally dancing with yours. You moan into his mouth, and as much as you don’t want to, you have to pull away for air.

Iwaizumi takes this opportunity to trail kisses along your jaw and down your neck. His hands, which were previously holding onto your hips in a bruising grip, move up your torso under your shirt. He makes a delighted chuckle when he notices that you're not wearing a bra.

“Hmm not wearing anything underneath your shirt to my show? Is that why your tits looked absolutely delectable bouncing around while you danced during the concert, huh?”

You whine as his hands grope at your chest and tweak your nipples. “Hah-fuck- wanted you to have something to look at, Haji-“

Iwaizumi cuts you off with a low growl and a particularly pleasing pinch of the nipples. “No. I’m not Haji right now, Princess. Say it.”

You let out a moan at the singer’s insinuation. “Wanted you t-to have something to look at, Daddy.”

“Mmm well you certainly didn’t disappoint, Princess. Had a hard time keeping my eyes off of you.” Iwa chuckles while he lowers himself down to his knees. “Between how cute your ass looks in this short little skirt of yours and your tits I almost lost my damn mind. Messed up a few lyrics thanks to you, Princess.”

You whimper as the singer nips and sucks on your inner thighs. “Fuck- Daddy… Wanted your attention. Didn’t mean to distract you.”

Iwaizumi’s lips are everywhere but where you need him most. He continues to kiss your thighs and lick them and give the occasional bite and suck combo. Your hands find their way to his sweat damp hair and tug, earning a groan and particularly harsh bite from the man below you. You whimper at the singer’s rough ministrations. Your head is thrown back on the wall behind you as Iwaizumi inches closer to where you want him.

“Daddy, please~” You tug on his hair eliciting another groan.

Iwa looks up at you in amusement. “Hmm what do you want, Princess? Gotta use your words, Pretty Baby.”

You huff in frustration but indulge him anyway. “Need your mouth and tongue, please~”

A chuckle can be heard but you’re no longer looking at Iwaizumi. “I’m giving you my mouth and tongue aren’t I. Princess? Is it that you need them somewhere specifically?” Iwa kisses your lower pelvis, just above your clothed clit.

“I- hah- Fuck, Daddy need your mouth and tongue and fingers in my pussy and on my clit. Please, please, please~ Need you s’ ba- ngh~”

Iwa cuts you off by the sting of him ripping your panties apart and diving his tongue into your drooling cunt. The slurping noises he’s making are obscene but you don’t have time to be embarrassed because at that very moment the singer replaced his tongue with two fingers and reattached his mouth to your clit. You moan and tug harshly on his hair, Iwa lets out his own moan that reverberates throughout your entire being.

“Mmh- Fuck~ feels so good, Daddy. S’ much better than my own fingers- Oh my- fu- fuck right there please keep touching me right there, Daddy…”

You're lost in your own pleasure and you don’t even notice the way Iwaizumi is watching you. His eyes gleaming with pride and lust at the thought of you feeling so good because of him. He can feel himself growing uncomfortably hard but ignores the nagging heat pooling in his lower abdomen. His focus solely on making you cum at least once before he lets himself fuck you senseless.

Judging from your increasingly desperate pleas, you were close to giving Iwa what he wanted. Your fists in the man’s hair are clenched so fiercely that your knuckles have turned a lighter shade than the rest of your skin. Your breathing has increased in both speed and volume, moans and whimpers constantly spilling from your lips, keeping you from forming any coherent sentences.

Iwa chuckles and you nearly screech at the sensation that shoots through your body from his amusement. “You gonna cum, Princess? You sound so damn desperate. Sounds like you’re gonna cum all over my mouth, hm?”

It takes everything you have to respond, knowing if you don’t it may not end well for you. “Hah— F-fuck— mmmm gon’ cum— wan’ cum— Daddy~”

“Do it, Princess. I want to drink up all that you got.” Iwa starts curling his fingers inside of you and that’s what does you in. Your back arches and you nearly scream from the sudden burst of white hot pleasure. Iwa doesn’t slow down his ministrations either. His fingers curling incessantly and tongue lapping up everything you have to offer him. Your mind becomes fuzzy and you don’t even register Hajime picking you up and tossing you onto the king sized bed.

In your dazed state you hardly recognize that Iwaizumi is speaking to you until his hand is cradling your cheek. “Hey. Princess. You with me? I need you to tell me you’re good before I move further, okay?”

“Daddy… ‘m good, want you to fuck me now, please~” You sigh at the thought of Iwa filling you up and begin to grow impatient.

Hajime chuckles. “That’s my pretty baby. Can you strip and get on your hands and knees for me, Princess?”

You nod and quickly remove your remaining clothing. You make a show of turning around and arching your back just to wiggle your ass up at Iwaizumi. A low groan can be heard as a result of you teasing the man behind you. Then suddenly your body is jolted forward as you mewl at the impact of Hajime’s palm connecting roughly with your ass.

“Such a fuckin’ tease, Princess. Havin’ your tits out on display, wearin’ that cute lil’ skirt, and now shakin’ your plump ass at me. Hmm,” Iwa caresses the cheek he had just previously assaulted. “ I would punish you if I didn’t wanna stuff this pretty lil’ cunny of yours with my fat cock. Maybe next time, hm? Bet you would like that wouldn’t you, Princess?”

You take in a shuddering breath before responding desperately. “N-no not doin’ it on purpose, daddy. Promise~ Wanna be your good girl please~”

“I think you’re body is betrayin’ you, Princess, the way you just gushed from a single smack to the ass tells me otherwise. I think you like being a naughty little cockslut, hmm, like being punished. But I guess for now we can pretend you’re my good girl, hm?” With that Iwa rubs the tip of his cock up and down through your folds lamenting his previous words of stating just how wet you were for the musician. “You ready for me, Princess?”

Instead of answering you push back into Iwa’s touch and sink the tip of Iwa’s length into your dripping entrance with ease. Large fingers dig into your plush ass to stop you from going further and lull a whimper to pass through your lips. Iwa leans down and growls into your ear. “Such a fuckin’ impatient and bratty little slut, hm? Couldn’t wait for me to put it in. Had to take it upon yourself?”

As Iwa growls into your ear about how much of a brat you are as he’s sinking himself deeper into your pussy. Your eyes roll back into your head. His sheer size alone brings you close to your second orgasm. You can hear breathy curses fall from Iwa’s lips. His fingers dig deeper into your ass as you dig into the pillow you’re whimpering into.

“F-fuck, Princess, you’re so fucking tight. This pretty little cunny is already squeezing me so tight. You that close, pretty baby? Just from me putting my cock in you, fuck that’s so fuckin’ cute.” Hajime releases one of his grips on your cheeks to tangle his fingers in your hair and experiments with a gentle tug. He’s more than pleased with your reaction as your back arches further and multiple whimpers stumble out of you.

The coil that’s been building in your stomach is snapped by Iwaizumi bottoming out with his tip prodding your cervix. You wail and violently clench around the musician as your vision blurs. You’re babbling nonsense while Iwaizumi throws his head back.

“Oh fuck, Princess. You really came from me just bottoming out. Fuck, your such a desperate little cockslut. Feel so good, sucking me in like this-- shit think you got one more in ya my pretty little cockslut?”

You whimper and plead. “D-daddy, please~ Want you to move-- need you to fuck me so good~ Please~”

Iwa amusedly chuckles at your babbling but grants your wish anyway. His hips draw back slowly, allowing you to feel every single throbbing vein on his dick and once he’s pulled out to just the tip he lands a harsh smack to your ass and snaps his hips into you. His rough pace doesn’t let up after that. He’s ramming into you as you cover your screams with the pillows underneath you. Iwa clearly has other ideas, though, as he tugs on your hair to pull you off the slobber stained pillow.

“Shit-- Wanna hear those pretty screams, Princess. Let everyone know that ‘m making you feel good okay?” After no reply Hajime tugs on your hair again,

“Y-yes daddy! You’re making me feel so f-fuckin’ goo’! Gonna make me cum ‘gain- mmmm fuck~” Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Iwa brings you up to his chest and changes the angle.

He’s reaching further into you and if it weren’t for his arms securely holding you-- one wrapped around your waist, the other crossed your chest and his hand gripping your neck-- You probably would be thrashing in pleasure. Iwa leans down to place his mouth right next to your ear and growls.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck pretty baby. ‘M so fuckin’ close. You gonna cum with me, Princess? Gonna cream all over me while I fill you up with my cum? Bet you'd like that hm? Your slutty little cunt filled to the brim with my cum?” Iwa moves his hold around your waist to play with your clit.

Your head falls back onto his shoulder and let out a silent scream. “Shi- oh my- Fuck, daddy, gon’ cum, want you to cum with me. Cum in me, please! Fuck! Daddy ‘m cumming- shit~ “

You’re seeing stars and screaming incoherently as you vaguely register Iwa’s grunts and sloppy thrusts. His hot seed spurting into you as he rides out both your orgasms. Your vision comes back to you and you feel yourself slump into the musician's hold. You hum contentedly as you feel Iwa begin to soften inside of you.

He peppers you with kisses and nuzzles himself into your neck, causing you to giggle. “Fuck, Princess. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hold ya like this.”

“Hmm what a couple of idiots huh?” Iwa looks up at you and chuckles.

“I guess so,” you squeal as Iwa flips the two of you so you’re on your back with him hovering you, expertly keeping himself inside of you, “we’ve got some catching up to do now don’t we, Princess?”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “W-what do you mean? We’re not done?”

Iwa chuckles as he slowly begins to pump himself into you. You whine from sensitivity. “Princess, we’re just getting started.”

Hq!! Permanent Taglist: @katsulovee

[creepling]

pineapple express (irl!quackity x gn!reader)

request: just a quick side note - love your writing! if you’re comfortable with it and it doesn’t cross any boundaries could you do a getting high with quackity for a gn! reader? tyty. (anon)

a/n: I DO NOT SUPPORT THE USE OF DRUGS OK. i just thought this was a very fun ask. do not take drugs underage and if you do take drugs, please do so responsibly. don’t end up being a f*ck-up like me lmao. also i’m sorry this is so short, i have been so busy with uni work and i am doing this while i have a night off. hopefully sometime after 4th may i will be writing for frequently.

pairing: irl!quackity x gn!reader (platonic)

summary: the reader has been having a stressful week and alex has the perfect remedy to make them loosen up. and of course, how could the reader deny spending time with their smoking buddy? (inspired by this hilarious clip of paul rudd and jason segel high during an interview.)

tw: use of drugs (cannabis), intoxication, cursing. 

Thank God, it was finally the weekend. I finished all my duties for Friday and I could finally anticipate personal time to myself. I expected to just drive home and become vegitated from exhaustion and stress up until the next week, until I received a text.

Alex: I got some stuff today, smoke buddy. Wanna come over and hang out?

A smile immediately came to my face. I texted back in approvement and prepered myself for arrival; quickly heading back home to change into fresh clothes and fix myself up. I brought my rolling kit in case Alex was on short supply and made my way to my best friend’s house.

“Hola Amigo!” Alex swung the door open the minute I rang the doorbell; his voice exaggerated and welcoming. I engulfed him in my usual hug as my way of entering his apartment. Routinely, I dropped my backpack into the living room and idly chucked my jacket over the couch. I could already inspect the event that was coming; Alex had a ton of shit. Normally Alex counted on me to roll the perfect joint, but when I became too high to do so, he always had emergency cone joints and even a fuck-off bong for special occasions.

“So are we cranking up the hot water and smoking in the bathroom or in here?” I asked for reasurrence, gesturing around the living room.

“Nah, it’s just me and you today. Even the neighbours are out of town.” Alex said, taking a B-turn to his usual spot of the couch. “Have you rolled anything yet?”

“Sorry, didn’t have time. Pretty hectic day.” I apologised, sinking next to him on the couch and running a hand stressfully through my hair. “I’ll quickly do one now. Want your own?”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You’re a busy-bee.” Alex said understandingly. “Oh and- Yes please.”

I soon got to work, taking my papers and grinder out of my pocket. Alex insisted in dealing with the grinder, putting the buds into the container and got to twisting. At this point, we were a couple of stoners. We never expected to be smoking buddies until I realised that out of all my mutual friends, Alex was the only person that had the same tolerance as me. I could never vibe with anxious high people, since they made me anxious myself. I had fun when I smoked; I giggled profusely and the most aburd theories would pour out of my mouth. Sure, I also got the munchies, but not as bad as Alex. One time Alex ate six packets of hot-flaming cheetos to the point his mouth was on fire. He was so high and flustered from the spice he throught he was breathing out fire. However, that experience does not beat the time I thought his cat was floating in mid air. In conclusion, me and Alex had the funniest experiences when under the influence.

After a few intricate minutes of rolling, I succeedingly rolled two joints. Alex liked his thick at the beginning but thin at the end, and I preferred a medium gurth all throughout. Alex admired my creation, muttering a ‘wow’ and praised my efforts, then took a lighter out of his pocket.

We said our cheers and began to blaze up. Leaning my head back on the couch, I stared at the ceiling as I took slow draws, engulfing the smoke deep into my lungs before deeply exhaling. Alex at this point began to play a playlist (that we specifically created for being stoned) and took his first inhale. He always coughed at the first inhale before slowly easing into his usual rhythm. When my joint was halfway, I began to feel my body outlining with a buzzing sensation. My teeth felt isolated from my gums and the ends of my limbs felt invisible. Our combined exhaled smoke began to intermingle, everytime I took a breath it entered back into my lungs. The sound of Alex’s chuckles flowed into my fuzzy ears and as if almost contagious, I became to chuckle as well.

“That’s some strong stuff.” I commented, my eyes beaming at the ceiling before my eyelids began to grow heavy. Alex hummed in agreement, taking the last straw of his joint before smothering the brown-stained tip into his ashtray. The ashtray was one of those clay creations that had the eyes and mouth on them. I gave him it as a gift for his birthday. 

An hour went by and at this point, Alex and I powered through another joint. We mobilised ourselves onto the floor as we lay on large pillows and blankets; a nook that Alex made up before my arrival. We laughed at the most mundane shit and lay on our backs, our heads closely together as we stared at the ceiling.

“Have you ever had a best friend?” Alex asked in a stoned haze.

“I mean . . . you’re kinda my best friend.” I admitted, a sentence that would probably not leave my mouth if I was sober due to hesitation.

“Really? That is so sweet.” Alex said, his tone of voice so idle it was borderline adorable.

“Am I your best friend?” I asked, my eyes glancing over to him anticipating a response.

“You know this, (Y/N). I have had the same best friend since I was twelve years old . . . and he is imaginary.”

“Oh my fucking God . . . Not Pablo.” I cringed, squeezing my bloodshot eyes closed. The amount of times Alex has talked about his childhood imaginary friend while high is annoyingly been multiple times. At this point, I don’t know if he was joking or being serious. Or just completely and utterly stoned.

“He’s fucking amazing, (Y/N)! I’m not fucking kidding!” Alex exclaimed, looking at me in shock but also trying to hold back a laugh.

“Oh yeah sorry . . . I didn’t mean to offend Pablo.” I said sarcastically, “Pablo who visits you in your dreams!” 

Alex howled at my words and laughed from his chest, clenching his ribs from the pain. A laugh also escaped my throat harshly and I coughed from the suddenness, slamming my hand into a pillow as I was paralyzed from the hilariousity.

“Oh my God . . . I’m literally sweating” Alex mustered out in between wheezes. He was bent double on the floor, still clenching at his ribs. The sight of him made me chuckle even when my laughter became to calm down.

“Then take off your hat, silly!” I said, noticing the beams of sweat that formed on his temple. 

“You jerk! I can’t take off my hat.” Alex exclaimed, his fingers clenching onto the hem of his beanie as if he thought I was going to yank it off him. “It’s a mental compulsion!”

“A mental compulsion?” I emphasised in confusion, his random reasoning retracting me back into a fit of laughter. “Why’s that? Will Pablo come and kill us all if you take it off? Is that why you have been wearing one for all these years?”

Alex at this point laughed so hard at my joke, I was convinced he stopped breathing. When his body allowed him to exhale, he let out the loudest cackle I have ever heard come out his mouth. It even beats the ones he makes on streams. His sudden burst of laughter made we want to make him laugh even more.

“Don’t take off the magic hat, Alex! Otherwise Pablo will come visit you!” I mocked a spooky voice as I sat up from the floor and began to tickle Alex into submission. Alex squirmed, his red eyes now pouring with positive tears. His belly laughs continued as I physically taunted him in a joking manner.

“I’m sorry Pablo, I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me!” Alex jokingly pleaded, his voice becoming so high-pitched that his vocal chords let out a squeak. I flopped back onto the pillows in laughter as we were squirming like idiots for several minutes. Once our jester behaviour came to a close, our laughters died out and we lay exhausted on the floor. The music from the speakers now dominated the sound in the room. Alex breathed heavily next to me trying to catch his breath. It was moments like this were I felt the least anxious, were I could just let go and not worry about the world. It felt absolutely bliss. 

TAGLIST ! / @momo-has-a-gun @diggorysmalfoy @quack42069 @obsidiyan​ (join my taglist!) 

[leejungchans]

— reunited.

🆕 ask juliet anything!! | juliet’s masterlist

word count: 1.3k

warning(s): none!!

note: words in bold are spoken in english!!

set in early 2017

summary: in which juliet bumps into someone very, very familiar and dear to her heart.

Juliet nods her head along to the music playing from her earphones as she peruses the snack aisle in the supermarket. Her classes ended a bit earlier today, giving her more time before she has to be at the company for training. What better way to spend that time than getting snacks to share with the others during their breaks?

Definitely chocolate, she thinks as she grabs a bar from one of the shelves, pausing for a few seconds before grabbing two more. Who am I kidding? We’ll inhale it within thirty seconds if I get just one. What if I also got chips? Or is that too much if we’re going to get tteokbokki after training?

Sighing, Juliet looks wistfully at the assortment of snacks before lowering her head and speed-walking through the aisle. If I can’t see it, I won’t be tempted.

Stopping by the dairy section, she reaches for a bottle of banana milk after much deliberation between it and the strawberry milk. This specific brand of flavoured milk was the first thing she had after landing in South Korea, and since then she’d always try to have either before practice or evaluations as a good luck charm whenever possible.

Juliet is about to head to the cashier when she spies a boy around her age standing only a few feet away from her looking at the selection of bottled tea. Her heart skips a beat when she catches the side profile of the boy. It can’t be him... can it? But he looks so awfully similar to...

Before she can be sure, the boy makes his choice and disappears behind the aisle she was just in. Juliet finds herself following after him. She wanted—no, needed—to confirm she hadn’t been seeing things, that he is indeed who she thinks he is. It’s been so long since she’s seen him, she can’t just leave without being sure.

Doing her best to act natural, she walks back to the snack aisle and grabs a bag of spicy chips, pretending to read the label when she’s really trying to get a better look at the boy out of the corner of her eye. Unfortunately, the boy isn’t near enough for her to be sure, and before Juliet can inch closer to him, he leaves the aisle.

Damn it, I knew I should’ve put on my glasses.

Hastily shoving the bag of chips back into its original place, Juliet hurries to catch up with him, carefully peeking behind the shelves to see which section he went into.

Wait... do I look suspicious right now? What if someone’s watching me through the CCTV and thinks I’m trying to steal something? The thought causes her to shudder, hoping she’ll get her answer as quickly as possible so she won’t have to act like this anymore.

Passing through the aisles, Juliet finally finds the boy looking at the instant ramen before casually slipping in and grabbing a random one from the shelf, once again watching him using her peripheral vision. Is this weird? This is so weird. Man, if he’s not who I think he is, I would’ve done all this for nothing... Fuck! He’s looking this way! Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, don’t look at him... 1790mg of Sodium... interesting... what riveting information...

So deep in thought, Juliet doesn’t realises that he’s approaching her until she feels him trying to squeeze past her in the narrow corridor in an effort to leave. Jumping in surprise from the sudden contact, the bowl of ramen slips from Juliet’s hold and falls to the ground with a clatter.

“Sorry!” they both squeak in unison, the boy crouching down to pick up the ramen before she can do so herself. When he looks up to hand it back to her, they freeze upon getting a good look at the other’s face, eyes widening with realisation.

“Felix?”

“Juliet?”

Huge smiles slowly spread across their faces after getting over the initial shock before they pull each other in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you!” Juliet squeals. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here now!” Felix explains once they separate, laughing when her eyes widen comically at his revelation.

“Shut the front door. Really?”

“Yeah! I auditioned for JYP a while ago and got accepted, and they told me to move here immediately. I wanted to contact you, but I think you changed your phone number...”

“Oh, I did,” Juliet says sheepishly. “But I’m glad we ran into each other here! Well, not really ran into... I was kinda following you around the store like a creep because I was trying to make sure if you were really... you.”

Felix giggles. “Were you? I didn’t notice. I just thought you were another student trying to buy snacks after school.”

“I mean... that part’s true,” Juliet says with a grin as they walk back to the cashier to pay. “But anyways, it’s so great that you’re with JYP now! Are you doing okay with settling in and stuff?”

He nods slowly. “I think so, I’m still adjusting to the culture shock and practising my Korean, but the boys there are helping me a lot! One of them is also from Sydney, can you believe it?”

“You’ll have to introduce us sometime then,” she says as she hands the cashier some money while he scans her items. “Plus, you found me now! So if you need anything or just someone to talk to, you can reach me! You have a Korean number now, right?”

He nods again, rummaging for his wallet and phone in his bag before handing the latter to Juliet so she can enter her number in while he pays. The two leave the supermarket with a quick “thank you!” to the cashier as she returns his phone.

“‘Aussie sister’?” Felix laughs, reading the contact name she saved for herself.

“Yeah! You can change it if you want, or if you already met another Aussie sister at JYP,” she pouts. “In that case, I can be ‘Aussie sister #2’ or ‘Julie’ or whatever.”

“Nah, I don’t know any other Aussies here other than you and the boy I mentioned earlier. His name’s Chan, by the way! Where are you going now? To SM?”

Juliet smiles melancholically. “I’m not with SM anymore, Lix,” she says softly, watching his eyebrows crease with worry. “I’m with another company now called KQ. It’s much smaller compared to SM, but I’m happy there and they treat me well, so don’t worry.”

“Well, if you’re happy, then it’s all that matters!” Felix says brightly. “I have to go back to JYP too, but we’ll meet up more now that I’m here, right?” he adds the last part hopefully.

“Definitely! When we have time, I’ll take you to all my favourite food places in this area,” Juliet promises.

Felix beams. “I can’t wait! Take care, okay? And good luck with training.”

“You too. Again, it’s really, really nice seeing you again.”

“Likewise... so, this is goodbye?” he asks when they come to a intersection, being able to tell that Juliet has to go the other route from the direction her feet are pointing at.

“Yeah... but only for now! Remember to text me later so I’ll have your number!”

Felix nods. “I will. I’ll see you around?”

“You bet. I still have so much to tell you,” Juliet tells him before they hesitantly go their separate ways, knowing they both have to be at their companies soon but still wanting to catch up more.

It doesn’t take long for her to turn around to watch Felix’s retreating figure, though she immediately bursts into laughter when he does the same, and the two friends give each other one last exaggerated wave before disappearing into the crowds of people.

Despite the freezing temperature, Juliet feels warm and fuzzy on the inside, overjoyed from seeing her childhood friend for the first time in years while also knowing that there will be more to come now that Felix also lives in Seoul.

Things really are starting to look up.

She walks into KQ’s building with a spring in her step, arms clutching her banana milk and chocolate securely when her phone chimes from a notification. Clumsily fumbling with her uniform skirt’s pocket, Juliet fishes out her phone, instantly grinning at the message that pops up on the lockscreen.

[Unknown Number] [16:03] your aussie bro right here!!! 🐨 fighting today!!!!!!

— bonus!!

juliet following felix around the supermarket trying not to look sus like:

a/n: i can’t believe it took me this long to write a scenario with felix but here it is 🥺🥺 bc they were both in a hurry, they didn’t exactly have time for an emotional reunion but rest assured they were very, very happy to see each other :3 especially for juliet, she was still adjusting to everything and everyone at kq, so when felix came into her life again it made her so happy 🥺💕

[whatacartouchebag]

Hi! On the topic of Suppression, I was wondering if it would be okay to ask you what was left in the story? Like what were you planning to do for the ending and such? I hope this isn't rude to ask, I've just always wondered how you were planning to wrap things up.

lmao good guy tumblr for not showing me this ask until i look at it on desktop :|

Hey anon! I don't mind at all, so don't stress about that. I'll admit that a big part of not finishing the story was due to me kind of falling out of the fandom a fair bit, and kinda going through some hefty behind the scenes malarky with moving across the state and all.

As for what was actually going to happen: chapter nineteen was due to pretty much be the last one out, depending on how long it got, with an epilogue to follow.

Everyone was due to meet up on the weekend for a casual get-together, chat about the upcoming Grand Prix, etc. Just relax and such. There was going to be a surprisingly meaningful conversation between Jack and Aki. A mention from Aki herself having tossed up and down for a little while on actually getting her license, to help tie it into that one ep where she does. Bruno and Yusei being nerds over the momentum engine lmao. A little bit of a filler start as they all get ready to hang out.

It was a chapter hinging on a certain scene where Atem is just kind of lazing on the grass in the shade, letting his memories sift and drift, knowing he was planning on telling everyone the truth, pacing through his head, and then it just strikes him out of the blue.

The real answer was the Crimson Dragon all along.

When Yugi was first brought through time via the Crimson Dragon, it was quite literally in the Crimson Dragon. Time travel futzing and magical crossing of the streams happened, and the spirit of the Nameless Pharaoh found himself a little connected to the giant worm. Hell, when Yugi first summons Atem during that duel, it was with a swathe of red energy after said time travel futzing, in the exact palette of the Dragon, which is the very thing that got me thinking of how to write this story in the first place.

Atem has the startling realisation that everything in his life from that point, up until the Ceremonial Battle, is a little muddied, kind of like how all memories fade. Except everything within that time span was like trying to remember something from when he was a toddler. There might've been flashes of faces or sounds, but he soon realises that even with a bit of historical prodding help from the others (prompting about certain duels afterwards, etc), trying to pick out specific events is almost... impossible for him.

It seems almost crazy to him that he's lived all those years alongside Yugi and Co, to only not remember it. Almost like something's interfering with the signal on the tv - the episode's still playing, and you can kinda catch snatches of conversation through the static and sort of work out the plot, but it's still all fuzzy and blurry.

It was a bit of a head scratcher, especially with Regulus and Ancient Fairy Dragon having told him essentially "No, you're right where you're supposed to be. We can't feel any sort of temporal displacement or time travel shenanigans around you whatsoever."

But hey, back to that meddling worm issue. So, since his soul was now tied to the Dragon, and his soul was technically freed after the Ceremonial Battle, instead of resting eternally, it continued on until it found that specific connection in time where the Dragon felt strongest to it. Which happened to be right when Yusei was dumped back into the future at the end of BBT.

Thus, the fic started, we get to see the dweeb stumble into traffic and the rest is kind of history.

What does that mean for the rest of everyone back in his time? Well, quite frankly, time happened, and since you can kinda do some fuzzy math and work out Neo Domino is at least two hundred years ahead of Domino City, there wasn't any real way to properly get back there. The Crimson Dragon only pops out in times of real need (which, even in canon, that's like four times total, including BBT), so there wasn't really any way for Atem to blip back into his own time.

He knows this, through hearing stories and talking with the others, and he'd already come to that stark realisation when he spoke with Regulus and Ancient Fairy Dragon, and subsequently found the area of what used to be the Kame Game Shop. It was just a matter of overcoming his grief enough to piece it altogether in his head and explain it to the others.

So, long story short, the final chapter or so was simply Atem revealing the truth of what had brought him to their time, and what he was planning on doing. He couldn't go back. That path was most certainly forever blocked to him. So he settled on simply adapting, as he was always good at. Duel Monsters hadn't changed all that much over the years, and he was more than skilled in that department, so in a world still ruled by it, it made sense for him to join the others and be a part of their team (and it was one more person to help pay rent to Zora lmao).

The epilogue was always intended to be a little bit of a flash forward. Of Aki and Atem learning their way around riding duels together, and perhaps even ending at the start of one. Or a dry and humorous line from Rua in regards to knowing about Yusei and Atem because duh, you two ain't subtle. Either way, it was meant to show that Atem had managed to find peace with everything that had happened to keep him in their time, and was simply doing what he did best by way of moving forward and carrying on with living.

He suddenly had his own life to live, all over again, without being bound to another, and he was absolutely going to grasp it with both hands.

Uhh, so this got kind of long, and I hope it does answer your question in part, Anon! If you have any more questions about it, I'd be more than happy to answer! Sorry again for how long it took to get to it but huzzah for tumblr mobile shenanigans ig kshjdhjk

On that note, I probably should update the rest of Suppression on AO3, and probably throw in the next chapter, even if it is incomplete. At least that way y'all can see how a bunch of this is worded lmao.

[honeygingergemini]

Tell Me What You Want

pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader 

word count: 3.1k

warnings: smut (well, my first attempt at it), tipsy maybe possibly drunk reader, male POV i’m a girl so idk if i did a good job with that bc who knows. what goes on in the male brain also poor EXTREMELY poor descriptions sorry :) 

notes: um i’ve been wanting to write for a while but i was too nervous but then this scene kept playing at my head at work so I wrote it. I had steve in mind but i honestly haven’t watched a marvel movie since 2015 which is 5years ago and not 2 years like my brain remembers it as so my memory of the characteristics steve has are very fuzzy.... also english is not my first language so there will be typos and grammar mistakes sorry in advance. also please tell me if it sucks lol I really really really love criticism because it helps me gage were i’m at and how I can improve thank you :) 

                                                          .....

“bah” the sound of my girlfriend’s raspy voice pulls me from my light drift. I look over to see her cradling her foot in her hands. Unable to keep her balance she stumbles a little bit but quickly regains her footing stretching her hands out in front of her. “What the fuck?” she whispers to herself. 

I watch her as she makes her way around our shared chambers. I take in her once perfect appearance, now seeing someone completely different. Before leaving her hair was in perfectly uniformed spirals. The peach mini dress hugged her dips and curves beautifully, complementing the soft makeup on her face, and Her thin heels guarded her pink pedicure. Now, she is completely disheveled. The once tight curls are now matted waves, the lipstick smudged against her chin coincides with the thick eyeliner rings around both eyes. Her dress has completely shifted giving me the perfect peekaboo of areola. The shoes that were once on her feet are now in her hands. As if she feels me staring, she turns and locks eyes with me. 

“I’m sorry.” she sings out in a low whisper. holding out the syllables of the word. “Did i wake up?” 

“No.” I lie. 

“Oh good, ‘cause i wanted to…” she hiccups, a dead giveaway of her current state. “... i wanted to hang out with you” she’s talking but every word sounds like a moan.  

“Hang out with me?... Are you drunk?” I smile at her. I’ve always loved seeing her drunk simply because I can’t get drunk. 

“Mmmmm… kinda” she decides. 

“Kinda? either you are or you aren’t, which one is it?” 

“Well…i’m drunk enough to not feel embarrassed by doing this” she makes quick movements of dropping her heels from her hand before straddling my lap “but sober enough that i can still do this.” she slowly begins to grind on my thighs. Though her positioning is off, by a lot, I don’t care. I can still feel blood rushing to intimate areas of my body. my usually timid girl has transformed into a confident tease. I chuckle at the performance.

“Why are you laughing when you should be fucking me?” She pouts. 

“Oh really? tell me what you want me to do then.” Suddenly her face goes blank at my request. Usually, I am in control, I tell her when and where to move at all times, but I don’t want the game to end with her submission. I want to push her to try something new tonight.

 “I....” she hiccups again, harder this time causing a physical rise and fall of her chest emphasizing the twin orbs on her chest. “... I want to feel you.”  My growing hard on is touching the side of her thigh. 

“You are feeling me.” I smile at her. 

“Uh uh, closer?” She wiggles her body, but is still grinding slow. I shift my hips up ever so slightly so she can get a taste of what she wants. 

“Mmm” she lets out the tiniest moan if you’re not paying attention you’d miss it. Of course I don’t miss it. I never miss it. She leans into me with her right arm wrapped around my neck and her left hand touching my cheek softly. Her silk lips connect with mine and it takes all the strength I possess to not kiss her back. I want to see how far her liquid courage will take her. Once she notices I'm not kissing her back she whines. 

“Baaaaaaabeeee… Why aren’t you moving?”

“You didn’t tell me to move.” I say matter of factly. she huffs. “I told you,” I brush some of the disturbed curls from her face. “Tell me what you want me to do and i’ll do it.” I shrug. 

“But…” another hiccup peaks through her slurred words. “You know… I… get embarrassed.” her glossy brown eyes gaze into mine. 

“I know baby, but let’s try something new tonight.” I try to convince her giving her small peppering kisses to her face. “Just try it and if you wanna stop we’ll stop, okay?” She leers unwavering, weighing out her options. 

“Okay.” she sighs looking away from me as if trying to release all her nerves. “... What do I… you know… what do I say?” she fumbles with my fingers as a cashmere cat grin spreads across my face. 

“You say whatever you want…” I rub my thickset hands over her hips for added comfort. “Say anything you want me to do to you.” I kiss the corner or her mouth. Quick and soft. Not giving her too much, but just enough to hopefully spark some encouragement for her to begin speaking. She lets out another nerve breath before looking me in the face. It’s almost like she’s studying my face trying to see how serious I am. 

“Kiss me.” With that command I quickly lock our lips with firm pressure. 

“Slowly.” she murmurs through her lips. I slow my approach, taking my time with her lips. I create light suction around her bottom lip causing her to shift on me. I want to touch her so badly, but she only instructed me to kiss her. Nothing more, nothing less. She pulls away from me with her chest rising and falling quickly. 

“Add tongue?” it comes out less like a command and more like a question, but I give her a little leeway since it’s her first time. With my burly hands fisted at my sides I lift my body slightly. Once aligned perfectly, I kiss her again softly. I ran my tongue over her lips still puckered and pushed my body up before allowing my tongue to invade her mouth slowly. Another soft moan is released from her and I feel my nails digging into my palm. 

Let me touch you. 

She begins moving her hips again, her chest pushes into me with every deep breath she takes. 

“Kiss me from my lips to my spot.” 

“You have to be more specific than that.” I grunt with our lips still attached. She lets out a frustrating groan. 

“I want you to kiss me on my neck.” Her tone has changed. It’s a mix between exasperated and needy. I change direction and add my wet lips to her neck but not where I know she wants me. 

“Baby… lower” 

“Here?” I string out the teasing. 

“No. Here.” she moves my head to the space directly above her collarbone decorated by a tattoo. Before I could kiss the spot another command came through. 

“Suck no kiss.” Her facade crumbles and her native accent makes an appearance causing me to get more frustrated. She still hasn’t told me to touch her. Still complying to her demands, I suck her most sensitive spot. Hard. Her hands are now all over my midriff feeling me through my shirt. 

“Arms up.” She wheezes. I immediately lift my arms up allowing her to remove my shirt. My arms fall back to where they were by my sides. My favorite girl increases the pressure at which she’s moving her hips. The roles reverse and now she’s kissing all over me. Her lips sloppily move from my jaw to my shoulder to my pierced nipple. My jaw locks and my fists tighten. As a result of a lost bet I had to get the piercing and wear it for a year. There were times I hated that thing. This was not one of those times.

“Touch me.” she swirls her tongue around my jeweled nipple. Excitement ripples through my veins. 

“Where?” It comes out breathy but she didn’t mind. She smiles at me clearly feeling more comfortable. 

“Anywhere you like baby.” and with that I flipped her over trying to touch all parts of her body at once. My hands introduce themselves to her breast with a firm squeeze. My left hand goes down to now introduce itself to her warm center. I run her hand over the clothes spot a couple of times as if asking her to let me in. My thick skinned digits slide their way past the barely there material cupping her cunt. I can feel her lips burning an imprint to my hand. She feels warm. The smoothness of her body always takes me by surprise, even though I've felt her body just like this a million times before. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me to touch you since we’ve started.” 

“You should’ve asked…” my hands dip into the warm honey pool between her legs toying with her arousal causing her to pause. “... so i could give you my permission.” she smiles up at me. It’s shocking. She actually likes the control that she has. She brings my head back to her mouth and our lip match begins again. In making sure to take my time I circle her clit slowly. Agonizingly Slow. My fingers dance around her heated velvet opening just barely connecting with her special nub, but she moans as if i’m fucking her and I feel triumphant. It’s almost impossible to get her to make noise. She’s a quiet lover. My quiet lover. 

                                                        •••

She turns to look at me as if I have two heads. 

“Why would you ask me that?” She turns her face in embarrassment. “I…. I do like everything we do… in bed” She mumbles her last syllables quietly as if anyone else but me is listening. 

“So then my question stands, why don’t you ever make any noise?” my hands run along her thighs that are straddling mine. She starts playing with my fingers so I know she’s uncomfortable. 

“Well,..... it’s that…” she huffs. “I don’t like to be too loud… what if i don’t sound… nice….or what if the neighbors hear me?” 

“Then they’ll know you’re getting fucked by good dick.” 

“Stop, i’m serious.” she smiles lightly smacking me. “What if they hear me and see me the next day it’ll be so…” she immediately stops as I thrust upwards towards her heated core. 

“It gives me motivation when i hear that i’m pleasing you….” While continuously grinding into her sensitive spot I bring my lips to her neck. “I need tangible evidence of what I do to you. I need to hear…” she inhaled slowly as I bit down. “... you moaning.” I take a seat back looking directly into her warm eyes. 

“I need to hear that i’m pleasing you, okay? Can you do that for me?” she quickly nods in response. “Use you words baby.” 

“Uh-uh Yes, yes i can do that for you.” 

“ Good, now make some noise for me.” 

                                                           •••

The flashed memory paired with the withering body audibly moaning underneath me was enough to set me off. I want to be inside her now. But I haven’t been given permission. 

“Speed up just a little bit babe, you’re doing great” her words slip through her pants and I oblige. It was all too much, electric shocks found their way to my southern head making it twitch with agony. I wanted to feel her around me. 

“Stop.” she moans. Confused, I simply look up at her while continuing my assault. 

“Baby… stop.” she asks again. I really wanted to continue, the pressure in the base of my stomach was not helping my case either, but this was my idea to begin with so again I followed directions. My hands leave her damp frame and await further instructions. Her eyes flutter open glazed with desire. A fire ignites within me starting at the abdomen and quickly spreading to the other parts of my anatomy. 

“Undress for me please.” she licks her lips slowly staring directly into my eyes. Her eyes. One of my favorite things about her. She doesn’t understand why I love them so much. She calls them her boring browns but they’re so much more to me. Those boring browns are so intense the first time she looked at me I couldn’t look away. They pulled me and never let me go. I remove my shorts under her magnetic gaze. Her intense gaze sinks to the member between my legs. 

“Sit down.” her eyes unwavering from my dick as I take a seat on the divan sofa parallel to the bed. 

“Touch yourself for me.” The request makes me smile. I shift bringing my hips forward, widening my legs. I take my time taunting her by doing what she says but not quite. My hands run along my thighs feeling my skin under my rough palms and she laughs. 

“I know exactly what you’re doing baby…” she starts shifting on the bed removing her panties but leaving her dress in disarray across her body. “And that’s fine. The longer you play around is the longer you have to wait to touch me.” she gives a sinister closed lip smile before gently tracing her fingers around her clit. Her eye contact with me remains strong as she adds more pressure to satisfy her needs. She sits up slightly creating a sight to see. Her legs are spread wide enough to perfectly accommodate my bulky frame, almost as if set in place by muscle memory. Her left hand is fondling her sweet bits while her right arm is outstretched behind her slightly bent attempting to hold her body up. Her face. I want that face ingrained so deeply into my mind that it will be the last thing I remember before I die. With her head lifted to the ceiling her sweet melodies flow bouncing off the walls of the room.

“Come on, I need you baby.” She brings her head down to look back at me. My jaw clenches watching her dip two fingers into her warm opening. “My fingers don’t feel like yours.” Her left hand is toying with her right nipple while her right is finding a steady rhythm. 

“No matter what I do my hands will never feel as good as you do.” She lets out a breathless moan and I can feel my self control dwindling. “No one can make me feel as good as you do… Not even myself.” 

“Mmm... Steve please” the sound of my name leaving her lips stilled me. “Please play with your dick... Please baby.” That is enough to send me into overdrive. I’ve never heard her speak like this. It’s rare to get a serious moan from her when fucking so to have her say this to me, to have her talk dirty like this... it’s different. I think i enjoy it. I reach my base and wince from the contact. I lift my extended piece to my stomach then back down to my thighs a couple times as if to wave hello.

“Fuck.” I whisper under my breath, moreso to myself. “Fuck, baby, this is what you like?” my fingers enclose my head in a tight grip to mimic the suction of my girlfriend. She nods her head frantically, still assaulting her pussy. 

“yeah? You gonna let me fuck you?” I grunt through passionate strokes. “You gonna let me make you feel good?” I look up at my love and she looks as if she is in a trance. My eyes follow hers to my dick and a shutter moves through me. I watch my hands as if they are not my own. My fingers cup around the head and create small semi circles, “uuhh-huh  f-fuck.” 

“Don’t cum.” she glares at me with dark eyes sitting up and crawling towards me. “I want you to cum inside.” Before I could move to her, she’s on top of me. Straddling me running her fingers through my hair. “You’ve been such a nice boy for me.” The praise makes my dick jump and she feels it. 

“Oh.”she breathes out. “Do you like it when I compliment you baby? I thought you said you didn’t need that?” I did say that. When we first started dating she was very vocal about all the things she loved about me making sure I knew. I would do the same for her because I know she needs that but words of affirmation became a little too much for me. Or so I thought. 

“I…” The words become lost on my tongue as a cross between a moan and a grunt leaves my lips as I feel her rub her pussy across my dick.

“How does it feel?” Her voice is husky, it holds a certainty i’ve never witnessed before tonight. A sharp pain shoots from my pec to the base of my cock. She twisted the jeweled nipple. “I asked you a question, be a good boy and answer me.”

“I-I-It feels-s s-so good.” My hands are on her hips now, following her rhythm. “So fucking good.” I didn’t have time to be embarrassed by my stutter because she aligns me with her sweet opening. She stills for a beat before slowly slipping me into her paradise. Groans from the pits of our stomach arise and she begins to move. It's slow at first, her small whimpers slipping through my labored breath, but something changes. She picks up the speed as she rotates her hips in a way that is sinful. I can sense that she’s getting tired but she holds out for me and my heart swells. 

“You’re doing so good, angel.”  My praise causes her to look me in the eyes. She’s getting to the end of her rope and whenever she ready to hand it back over to me, I’ll happily oblige. I roll my hips up to meet her and a soft sob leaves her lips. 

“Okay,” she sighs out “I’ve had my fun, use me please.” 

I plant my feet firmly beneath us and begin to raise my hips in sharp deliberate strokes. A string of curse words leaves her lips in a hushed whisper. My sweet girl doesn’t want me to hear. My sweet girl. 

“You feel so fucking good.” It’s crazy. No matter how many times I fuck her, it always feels brand new with her. Her body jerks over mine and I know she’s close. I’m right behind her. I lean back and allow my digits to caress her clit. She lets out a moan I’ve never heard as her body spasms around me, her walls grip my dick as if to say please don’t leave. And I don’t. I push myself deeper into her pussy and she lets out another pornographic moan which prompts me to cum. She trembles, gripping my arms and bringing our bodys close. We still, the only movement being the rapid rise and fall of our chests. 

“Oh my god.” She whispers. I pull at her hair lifting her head from my shoulder and scan her face. Her makeup is chaotically misplaced, hair is glued to her forehead, a dazed look is in her eyes. She looks beautiful. I suppose I said those words out loud because a loopy grin adorns her face. That one dimple in her right cheek that I love so much makes an appearance before a thank you slips past her lips to reach my ears. 

“You’re welcome baby.” I kiss her forehead before pulling her close to me again.

[wastelandcth]

spooky baskets - cth

anon requested: u can use this for a blurb if you want but I was just:( thinking of dovey and cal packing care packages to all their friends in quarantine and since they live together and take care of each other all the time it's kinda pointless to make ones for each other but each of them does that without the other knowing:( and they're like ~surprised but not really since they're soulmates so they could have seen it coming~ but the things inside??? so precious omg:(

summary: spending halloween season in quarantine means that Dovey has to resort to other fun ideas, like spooky baskets. 

author’s notes: thank you to the anon who requested this! i know quarantine has been a hard time for everyone (trust me, i know) but i hope this blurb brings a little joy to these uncertain times. 

masterlist || request

As the weather switched from the hot summer heatwaves into the cooler nights where Dovey was finally able to sit outside in the backyard wearing a sweater without wanting to melt, she knew that eventually, the seasonal sadness that crept its way into Calum's soul would come. She knew it would mean that as the sun set earlier and came out later in the day, Calum's mood would change and the already quiet personality he had would be heightened. So she'd come up with a plan to get him out and be productive while still being safe and socially distant from the crowds of people that seemed to think the pandemic was over. 

"Hey Dove, do you think we could pop over to the store tomorrow? I was thinking we could make care packages for everyone, it's been almost two months since we last saw anyone in person and I think it'd be a nice surprise for them." she had offered while they both ate dinner, a rerun of a show playing softly out from the television. "I was thinking we could make them spooky baskets!" 

"Spooky baskets?" Calum asked softly and chuckled, raising an eyebrow at his wife as he looked up from his bowl of roasted veggie pasta. "What are spooky baskets?"

"Oh you know, they're like care packages but they're themed to Halloween! It'll be nice for everyone to have a little Halloween basket. We could get them some candy, pumpkin spice stuff, oh! Fuzzy socks and maybe even like wine." she nodded excitedly and chuckled. 

And that's exactly what Dovey and Calum found themselves doing the very next day. Dovey had woken Calum up with some banana protein pancakes he'd been meaning to try for the past couple of weeks and a cup of coffee. She'd been excited to go out ever since Calum had agreed that care packages for their friends would be a nice way to celebrate Halloween in the current state the world was in. So with both of them wearing a mask and Dovey's bag stocked with a bottle of hand sanitizer and wipes, they made their way into Target to browse for anything they could use for their spooky baskets. 

It wasn't long before their cart was filled with candy, gummies, multiple bottles of wine, and anything that Calum and Dovey deemed appropriate for a spooky basket. Dovey had even managed to sneak in a couple of items for Calum, who she was sure hadn't noticed as he'd been too busy looking for things the band would like. Calum however, had been too busy looking for things that Dovey would appreciate, having snuck an extra orange pumpkin bucket that he knew she would never notice since she wasn't the best at simple math. By the time they had reached the self-checkout and had managed to hide each other's presents from one another, they were in the car sanitizing their hands and driving back home. 

"I think Ashton would prefer to have the socks and Michael would enjoy the hand lotion," Calum said as they sorted through bags of Halloween themed self-care. "Maybe we could give Luke the set of nail polish? I know he's been itching to get his nails done but doesn't want to risk it by going out to a salon." 

It went on like that for a while, Dovey showing Calum a pair of socks or a shirt or any of the other things they'd bought for their friends and then they'd both discuss who they thought it would be best for. Soon enough, they had a line of spooky baskets on their dining table and all they had to do was finish writing on their Halloween themed cards which Dovey had specifically picked out for every single one of the baskets. 

"Do you mind finishing up the cards? You have a way with words, I would just say something weird and you're poetic. I'm going to take a shower and then we can watch a movie?" Dovey asked as she handed Calum the stack of envelopes and cards, walking down the hallway to their bedroom where she had hidden the bag filled with everything she'd gotten Calum for his basket before he had time to even notice. 

Calum sighed in relief as he saw Dovey walk away into their bedroom, waiting a few moments before he made his way over to his office where he'd hidden his bag of treats for Dovey under the desk. He worked silently, arranging everything he'd snuck into their shopping cart while Dovey had been distracted looking at homeware and Halloween mugs, and when he was finally done, he set the basket back under his desk before making his way back over to the dining table to finish up writing the cards for their friends. 

The next day, the morning sky was grey and the cold air had made its way in through the bedroom window that Dovey had insisted stay open throughout the night. Calum wished he could've stayed in bed all day, knowing that there was nothing he and Dovey could do either. Tour had been rescheduled and all their trips and vacations had been put on hold, with no guarantee of when he could fly back home to see his parents or even fly to London to see his sister. He'd rather stay in bed and sleep the day away, knowing there was nothing else to do but stay home and stay safe. Dovey, however, had different plans and when he heard music playing from somewhere in the house, Calum knew she'd come in with plans to take on the day. It wasn't too long after Calum had woken up that Dovey walked into their bedroom, holding two mugs with coffee and the smile that Calum knew he could count on seeing every day. 

"Ready to deliver spooky baskets?" she asked as she sat down next to him in bed and handed a skeleton mug over to him. 

A few hours later, after many sneaky deliveries of spooky baskets, Calum found himself in Dovey's arms while they laid on the couch. He'd been taking a nap, the cold air from outside had seeped into his bones and he'd been in Dovey's arms covered by a blanket to chase off the cold. She'd been watching television while he slept, her fingers raking through the curls which had grown out ever since the start of a lockdown. His short hair transitioning from a pink that Dovey had been obsessed with to a blonde quiff that made him look golden, and now into a mess of brown curls that she couldn't help but run her fingers through whenever she got the chance to. It wasn't until she felt Calum's lips on her shoulder that she realized he was waking up from the nap he'd accidentally fallen into. 

"I have a surprise for you," Dovey whispered into Calum's hair, a soft kiss pressing onto his forehead which brought Calum back down to Earth and into his lover’s arms. "Need to get it from our room though, I'll be right back." 

Calum was still half asleep as he sat up and watched Dovey wander off to their bedroom. He let out a yawn and let himself stretch out onto the couch, his eyes closing again as his mind tried recalling whatever dream he'd been having a few minutes ago. It had made him warm, flashes of Dovey's smile and her laughter mixed in with little ones chasing after Duke. He knew if he kept his eyes closed for a while longer he'd slip back into the dream and stay a little while longer. 

"Dove?" At first, it seemed like Calum had slipped into his dreamworld and the love of his life was roaming the halls of a house filled with love and kid's toys, but as he felt a hand on his cheek, his eyes opened again and he was met with Dovey's eyes, who seemed to hide the excitement. "I have something for you." 

Calum's eyes wandered down to Dovey's lap, which was currently holding an orange basket that was filled with flowers, candy, and gift-wrapped boxes. Calum's yawn was met by a laugh from Dovey who placed the basket in his lap, her body practically bouncing in place as she waited for him to open everything. Inside the basket, Calum unpacked a new coffee mug with a painted dog wearing a sheet over it making it look like a ghost, a blanket which was so soft Calum was surprised that Dovey hadn't kept it herself, and along with some more candy and snacks that Calum loves, he found a new journal with a polaroid picture of Dovey and Calum inside of the cover. 

"Sweet girl, this is amazing. I, I can't thank you enough for this." Calum nodded and pulled her into his arms, "I have a surprise for you too, you know? Guess great minds think alike." he chuckled and set the basket down to go grab Dovey's own spooky basket from his office. 

Dovey couldn't hold back the laughter in as she saw Calum walking into the living room holding a basket that resembled the one she had made for him, filled with goodies and self-care needs she loved. When Calum handed her the basket, she looked through it, her own heart swelling as she unpacked candles, lotions, and all the sour gummy worms she could dream of. It was everything a spooky basket should've been and all she could do was pull Calum into a kiss. 

It wasn't until a while later when candles had been lit on the coffee table and the Doves were laying in each other’s arms under the world's softest blanket that the group chat all of the guys and their partners were in started to go off, with pictures of the baskets Calum and Dovey had worked hard on. Calum couldn't help but chuckled as he read through the messages his friends had sent to them, answering their praises with memes he had saved from conversations with Dovey. It wasn't until he heard a sleepy whine coming from Dovey that he realized she was asleep and the constant buzzing from her phone was probably going to wake her up soon.  With a goodnight to the group chat and with fall candles being blown out and covered, Calum carried Dovey over into their bedroom and laid her down in be, making sure that the window was open before he laid down and closed his eyes, yearning for dreams of Dovey and the big house filled with laughter, love, and spooky baskets. 

[princess-of-the-corner]

Human After All: I'd like to know more about A) Ed and Al realizing they look different from the others at their new school and asking Roy and Riza about it, B) the scene where Ed nearly dies by impalement, and C) the rest of the Sins Crew deciding to join the good side at the last second, please.

Oh boy this is fun!

The boys realizing they look "different":

So. Kinda personal headcanon but Xerxes is a country in the desert so it's people should have dark skin. They can still have the gold hair/eyes combo but just darker skin. Obvs this would apply to Hohenheim and since Ed and Al take after him in coloration, so do they.

So even if you just mistake them for maybe mixed Amestrian/Ishvalan, the skintone is a whole different hue (Xerxians have warmer undertones while Ishvalans have cooler ones)

But Ed and Al grew up with people who were like. Used to it.

All the adults in Resembool had gotten used to seeing Hohenheim and any vaguely rude "yeah but where are you /from/" questions were already used on him. Then Ed and Al come along even the kids are just casually "I guess people look like that". Ed and Al probably know that Hohenheim wasn't from this town so they don't question it.

But when Roy adopts them they move to East City and go to a public school there. Most of the kids there are full Amestrian, with the occasional part-Ishvalan kid. So Ed and Al kiiinda stick out.

So the classmates having no filter, ask what's up with that. And other kids debate on it because some say the conclusion of "maybe they're part Ishvalan?" But someone else points out "no you idiot. Ishvalans have red eyes!". The teacher would calm everyone down and get them back to classwork, but provides no answers because honestly they've never heard of anyone like that from any country.

And they kinda think on that for a bit because like. Yeah clearly they're not super mixed because they both look like that and Hohenheim looked like that. But... No one else does?

So they ask Roy and Riza about it because ya know. Curious little fuckers.

Roy and Riza don't really have answers. Their best guess is that maybe Hohenheim was from another country, but clearly not one close by enough to be common knowledge!

Which. They're right about the different country thing! And for now that's a good enough answer for the boys! But now Roy and Riza are suspicious because they've never heard of anyone from any country looking like that.

Ed nearly dying:

Oh boy! This includes a lot of headcanons. Some of which I hinted at in TPWC.

So first off. This is the thing in the Briggs arc in the mineshaft before we jump to Camping Trip Of Doom. Lust sticks with Ed during the fight with Kimblee. And she's a lot more prepared to kill a man than Ed is, but doesn't manage it.

Ed still gets impaled. Which is fun.

Lust is kinda... Not handling that well. And is kinda actually panicking. (Give her a break how often has she dealt with death?).

Anyway. Ed still has his idea of using his own life energy to heal himself. And Lust initially kinda yells at him, despite his ability to think being a little fuzzy, because that's dangerous as FUCK.

Basically there's a reason that, despite the Philosopher's Stone being made of Human Souls, you can't just use someone's life energy. You have to transmute it into a usable form first, which is something Ed does not know how to do(and even if he know, he wouldn't because that involves sacrifices!). Plus the process to do it is painful enough that the subject might die anyway!

"But Corner!" You say. "Didn't Ed use his own Life Energy to heal himself in Canon?"

Yes. Yes he did. But think. What exactly about Ed makes him maybe perhaps not like other people? >:3c.

Basically. Ed and Al did get some side effects of Hohenheim's whole "Philosopher's Stone in Human Form" thing. They are essentially like that, but they only have their own Soul's worth of Energy isntead of the fuckton amount that Hohenheim or even the Sins Crew have. So they don't instinctively use that energy because they basically don't know that's an option(even if they did, it wouldn't be a magic fix because they only have so much. Fixing the stomach wound in Canon nearly killed Ed anyway.)

But in this version, Lust is stubborn. Ed protests, but she figures all that "this might actually not kill him". So she just kinda. Transfers her own energy to him like a very Alchemical blood transfusion. She only does enough to close up the wound, but still.

Ed's still suffering from blood loss and passes out, but when he waked up he's going to be thinking over all those revelations.

Darius and Heinkel are still involved here! Which is good. And they do find the Philosopher's Stone that Kimblee dropped.

Lust decides that it would be best if that doesn't end up in the wrong hands, and absorbs it into herself.

The rest of the Sins Crew joining the Good Side:

So we already have Lust and Greed on the good side.

The two of them kinda... Drag Envy into the good side. Like. Envy is not so much a "good person" but like. They just point out how little Father really cares about them. How much happier the both of them have been since they left, even at the risk of Father dragging them back and destroying them. And since they've been there and know Envy, they can pinpoit their weakpoint of "jealous of Humans and the connections they have".

Because how can something not Human be Human? But they are, in fact, very Human. The very definition of a Homunculus is "an artificially created Human". And Lust and Greed managed to find people who do care about them despite everything.

They know Lust and Greed are right, but they're gonna be super tsundere about it.

Pride is actually... Really close to what nearly happened in Canon. While Pride and Al are trapped in gay baby jail, they're talking, and Pride mentions Mrs. Bradley and how motherly she was and all that stuff.

But it's intensified by the fact that Lust already called him out for caring about her. And as he and Al talk, he kinda slowly begins to think that maybe it's worth it to try and save even just one person he cares about.

Wrath is similar. Thinking about how he cares about his wife. And at first, he's fine with just continuing with the plan and heading over to wreck a tank with a sword.

But he passes by a radio playing her broadcast. Specifically when she's told that he might be dead.

A moment of hesitation, and he goes to her instead. He doesn't plan on joining the "good side". But just... Tell her the truth. And be with her in the last moments before the country-wide Transmutation Circle goes off and kills everyone.

But she's kinda like. "Well i knew some shit was up with you and with Selim but damn." And like. She still loves him. But is also like "bitch if you love me then you better fix this shit!". It's a lot more complicated and emotional than that but... Yeah Wrath would rather listen to her. So better get going to helping the "good side". Yes this does somehow confuse everyone while making perfect sense at the same time.

Gluttony and Sloth are a lot more easy to deal with because they're a bit... Simpler. Gluttony listens to Lust more than he listens to Father. So if Lust gives an order, she outranks him. And with Sloth... Really if any of the Sins Crew are like "okay big guy take a nap" he'll chill the fuck out.

[princecharmingmendes]

Valentine's Day | Raul Mendes

"When you think you're going to be alone on Valentine's Day, your friend with benefits simply shows up and takes you away on a surprise road trip, the only problem is that you and Raul swore that no feelings were allowed, and it gets harder every second that passes by to keep that promise"

                                              Shawn |  Peter

*I'm so incredibly sorry I took so long to finish this, but here it is, the last part of the Valentine's Day triplets "collection/series", hope you enjoy it!

*Word Count: 7.3K+

*Warnings: cursing, a lil bit of angst, haunted house content and clowns (just in case).

*Posted: February 24th, 2020.

                                                       -*-

The “v” day. I think I can say that for most people I know, or you’re so excited to spend it with your loved one or mostly bitter cause you’re so single it hurts/ dreaming about the perfect day, there are obviously exceptions, but this are pretty accurate. I’m pretty much in the second category. I had flings and untitled relationships before, but never had the chance to actually do all of those cliche things, like go on a fancy dinner or have a chill date at home on sweats and fuzzy socks, never got flowers at school/work, cute messages and chocolates. I didn’t even wanted expensive gifts and flash mobs on Times Square, just wanted to feel loved and cared for by someone that’s not my parents and friends. And this is year it’s not going to be different.

I’m technically single, I just have a fuck buddy and he’s not taking me out on a romantic stride through the park. I mean, Raul’s not that type of guy, at least didn’t show me any signs. We met through Peter since I’ve been working on the same place as him for a few years now and since then we had an agreement, no feelings allowed, only sex. He works a lot and all the time he has, he likes to dedicate to his family, for me was awesome for the same reason, I focused so much on studying and working that I had no time left for a serious relationship, so this seemed perfect at the time. The only problem was the “no feelings allowed rules”, I fucked that up pretty badly.

At the beginning wasn’t hard, we would meet at his place or mine, have sex and the other would leave as soon as possible, and it was great, he might seem as a cold person but he’s a really great lover. The problem started when he came to my place at a particular hard day at work and I insisted on him opening up, that I was there for him. We ended up not doing nothing besides cuddling and he stood the night, and from that things changed drastically. He started asking me to stay the night, we would randomly go out to eat and we would talk a lot. Raul understood where I was and so did I, he tended on shutting people out cause he didn’t want so seem fragile but deep down he’s softer than Peter, he just showed that rarely and to his family, the reason? Trusted and loved the wrong person, and I wasn’t very far from that.

The problem? I fell for him and he didn’t. Not that I asked or anything, I just knew, he would always shut me off when we got too close and he kept saying that this situations between us was perfect the way it is, and he’s really grateful that he has me on his life and that understand his needs. So yeah, not admitting that I actually do have feelings for him and screw this up, I’d rather have him like this than not at all. That’s why I’m sitting on my living room one day before valentine’s day, considering leaving tomorrow after work to my grandparent’s ranch or the beach. That’s why I almost had a stroke when my phone started ringing, Raul’s name lighting up the screen.

“Uh, hey... everything okay?”

“Oh, hey, darling, are you busy?”

“Not really” I said scrolling down the site for plane tickets just in case I wanted to go somewhere else “I just wasn’t expect any calls”

“Oh, sorry, what’re doing tomorrow?” he asked and my heart dropped.

“Tomorrow?! Nothing?! Normal Friday stuff, maybe go away for the weekend, why?”

“It’s valentine’s day!”

“I know, that’s why I’m leaving” I said chuckling.

“Oh... do you have anything planned specifically or bought?”

“Like plane tickets?”

“Yeah”

“No, I’m going through options right now, any suggestions?”

“I actually do”

“Oh, okay, I’m listening”

“Why don’t you come with me on a trip?”

“Hm... what?”

“Oh, come on, I know you hate this day and probably will be stressing yourself if you stay at your home alone” he said and suddenly U couldn’t breath.

I told Raul once that I didn’t like this date in particular, too many expectations were broken on this day, spent a lot of v-days crying or moody cause some stupid boy didn’t think I was good enough. I didn’t expect him to care enough to remember.

“What are you talking about, Raul?”

“I... do you want to go with me on a road trip?”

“Don’t you have shifts to cover or things to do?”

“No, got my schedule clear in caw you wanted to go out with me”

“Oh... but I...”

“You’re the boss on your section” he said cutting me out “and I talked to Peter, he’s going to cover for you”

“Hm... I...”

“Stop trying to find excuses, princess, c’mon, let me take you on an adventure”

“An adventure?”

“Yeah, what do you say about camping? You told me you never camped before”

“Oh, you remember?”

“Of course... so, what do you say?”

“Okay, I guess I don’t have a choice”

“Mhmmm, you’re right, so... can I pick you up at seven?”

“When are we coming back?”

“Sunday after lunch”

“Okay, okay, seven it is”

“Great! I gotta go now, but I’ll pick you up tomorrow”

“Do I need to take something specific?”

“Oh, yeah, it gets cold, but we’re staying in a cabin, so it’s not going to be that bad and I’ll be there, ooh, and please don’t forget that pretty lace baby blue set you bought last Sunday, I assure you you’re not going to regret it”

“Fuck you” I said chuckling and he giggled.

“I gotta go now, princess, text me if you need help with anything”

“Okay, bye, Raul”

“Bye, baby” he said hanging up.

Baby?! What was that?

                                                      -*-

I swear that I tried to keep calm and not read too much into it, but it was impossible. Why did he invited me out on Valentine’s day? How he remembers that stuff I told him?! Why does he care?! It’s impossible not to feel anything.

I couldn’t sleep at all, I spent the whole night playing possible scenarios in my head and checking every single thing that was on my bag. When the alarm rang in the morning, I felt like I was about to die, out of excitement or out of lack of sleep. But I got up and started getting ready for the day, I opted for almost no makeup, hair in a messy bun and comfy clothes that still looked cute, just in case. At seven I was already on the lobby of my building waiting for him, and when I saw his jeep parking right in front I almost died. Raul got out of the car and waved at me, so I walked to him, only to be squeezed in his huge arms in a bear hug.

“Happy valentine’s day” he said in a playful tone.

“Haha, very funny, mister cupid”

“What?”

“Well, you helped both of your brothers on V day”

“Oh yeah, true, so... excited?”

“Yep”

“Great, so am I, can we start this weekend?”

“Sure” I said and he kissed my cheek softly, leaning down and grabbing my small suitcase from me and putting it on his trunk, walking to the passenger’s door and opening it for me.

My heart stopped when I saw a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers on the seat and I froze.

“You told me you liked sunflowers” he mumbled with his hand gently placed on my lower back.

“I did” I said barely louder than a whisper and looked up at him “why?”

“You said you never... you’ve never received flowers before... and I thought maybe you’d like it” he said looking away and scratching the back of his neck with his free hand, a slight blush raising up his cheek.

“I liked it, just didn’t expect it” I said and he looked down at me, I stepped on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.

He pressed me tighter against his chest and wrapped the arm that was already on me around my middle, keeping me close to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck for support as he deepened the kiss a bit more.

“Good morning” he said in a deeper voice and with a smirk laced on his features, but his eyes were still soft.

“Morning” I said chuckling “can I get in the car?”

“Oh, sure” he said giggling and letting go of me.

I hopped on his car as he went to get in on his side, quickly leaving his spot and driving to I don’t know where. He started driving away and turned up the radio, humming to the song lightly and placing his hand on my thigh. Right there, I felt my heart on my throat and I couldn’t breath for a second. He can’t do that and expect me not to fall for him, I mean, that’s fucking impossible, how could you not?

An hour later, he stopped at a diner in the middle of the road and got out of the car, and I was so distracted, lost on my own thoughts, that I didn’t notice him coming by my side and opening the door for me. He chuckled at my wide eyes and little shocked noise while he helped me out. He picked a table at the corner of the place and sat down beside me.

“So... what is your kidnapping plan?”

“Well... I though that we should have breakfast first and I love the food in here”

“Great start” I said and he giggled.

“Thanks, princess, then we’ll go to the campsite for you to get to know the place and get settled in our cabin, and then... well, it is supposed to be a surprise”

“More surprises?”

“Do you want me to ruin it?”

“I... yeah?” I answered and he chuckled.

“I’m taking you to a carnival that’s near the place we’re staying... you also said you missed this kind of things”

“If I didn’t know you, I’d say you’re after my heart, Mendes”

“I might be” he said winking at me and giggling.

Poor thing, didn’t even know that his sort of joke almost killed me every single time.

                                                      -*-

Around 1 pm we decided it was time to go, after all I was starving, we’ve been walking since we got here. The place was breathtaking, there were so many beautiful views, but nothing will beat the lake that’s actually kinda close to our cabin, that’s absolutely adorable. It really seems like a dream come true. We spent a lot of time talking and he told me he’s so happy that his brothers are finally in a relationship that’s healthy and apparently going to last a long time, but he said he also felt kind of empty, since even his baby sister had a boyfriend. Quickly we changed the subject cause it was getting a little bit emotional, I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with his soft and fragile side without saying how I feel, so I’d rather avoid it, even though it seems kind of selfish.

The ride was not too long and very pleasant. Raul knows how to have a good time and he also makes sure everyone around him, at least that he cares about, feel the same way. He parked perfectly and smoothly, and when I hoped out of the car, he had a cocky grin on his face that he just justified as ‘you looked amazed by parking skills’ and I decided not to say the opposite to avoid a fight. He can be very competitive in everything. He bought our tickets and we got in, practically sprinting to find something to eat, at least I was starving.

After a whole bunch of food and his predictable not so funny jokes, we finally started taking a look around to decide where we would go first. We decided to go to the craziest rides first so we wouldn’t get the worst lines since people were eating or didn’t arrive yet. After that, I decided I wanted to get a henna tattoo on my forearm like I did so many times as a kid. Raul was patiently sitting beside me with his tattooed arms showing and attracting many curious looks from kids and other type of curious from some giggling teenage girls and even grown up women.

“Hi” the little voice sounded from behind us and we turned around to see a little girl standing there, holding a backpack.

“Hey, are you lost?”

“No, sir, mommy’s right there” she pointing to a woman standing beside the line on her phone.

“Okay... how can I help you, missy?” he asked with the softest look on his face.

“Did you got all of those with her?” she asked pointing to the girl that was currently drawing on my skin.

“I did not, these are from a few months ago”

“But why don’t they have any color?”

“I think they were out of ink” Raul said and the girl seemed to be thinking about the possibility.

“Can I make them prettier?”

“Of course, how’d you do it?”

“I have some markers, can I paint them?”

“Yes!” he said offering his right arm to her and she grinned big, showing of her missing tooth right in the middle.

She grabbed in her little backpack a pencil case and revealed more than what seemed like a thousand markers, so she started going through the colors and picking a bright pink one, starting to fill Raul’s tattoos with the girly shade. Raul has a beautiful smile gracing his features as he looked so intently at her artwork, her little tongue poking out between her lips in concentration, the scene was absolutely adorable, so cute it was starting to hurt physically.

“Is the pretty girl your girlfriend?” she asked as she was picking out another shade.

“Her?” he asked pointing at me with his free hand.

“Yes, is she your princess?”

“She is, she’s my girl” Raul said as he looked at me, making me blush furiously.

“Helen! What are you doing?? I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry” the woman the little girl pointed earlier as her mom got closer and grabbed her backpack.

“It’s okay, she said she could make them prettier, I really don’t mind” Raul said smiling at Helen and she smiled at him.

“They are prettier, right?” Helen said.

“They are so much better, thank you, Helen” Raul said.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry” Her mom said holding her tiny hand “we gotta go now, your dad is waiting, say thank you to the couple and say goodbye”

“Thank you, princess, thank you...”

“Raul” he said smiling at her.

“Thank you Raul, bye bye” she said waving.

“Bye” I said smiling.

“Thank you again, and I’m sorry, have a nice day” her mom said and walked away with her.

“She’s cute”

“She is”

“You do this a lot?”

“What?”

“Let random kids draw in your arms?” I asked playfully.

“Actually I do”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sometimes at the hospital, when they’re too sad I kinda feel like I should do anything to help, you know? I mean, it sucks for us to be there, now imagine for a little kid”

“That’s actually really sweet, but I should’ve guessed it”

“Why?”

“Remember when I asked you if you could see my friend’s son? Julia’s son?”

“Wait... yeah, Lucas right?”

“Mhmmm, let’s say you made a good impression and not only by your looks”

“So you’re saying I’m attractive?”

“I wasn’t... but I also can’t deny, anyway...”

“Why are you blushing?” he asked with a boyish smirk.

“Am not”

“Yes you are! You look so red it seems like you’re ‘bout to explode”

“Fuck you!”

“Language, princess, there are kids nearby”

“Anyway! As I was saying... she couldn’t shut up about how good you were with her son, how dedicated and sweet, and she was also drooling over your appearance”

“I wouldn’t blame her” he said winking at me.

“Your charm doesn’t work on me”

“I doubt that” he said leaning closer to me slowly, eyes trailed on my lips.

“You shouldn’t, I’m imune to you and your tricks”

“That’s a lie” he said lower and I could literally feel his breath on my lips.

“It’s not”

“Oh it is, princess, and I can prove it to you” he said brushing our lips together.

“All done here” the girl drawing on my skin said stopping me from giving in.

“Thanks” I said getting up and checking her drawing.

It was a beautiful drawing of a Lily, my grandfather’s favorite flower.

“Hey! I love lilies” okay, I wasn’t expecting Raul saying that.

“So does grandpa”

“Cute” he said placing a strand of hair that fell form my bun behind my ear “ and oh... by the way, I’ll prove it to you later” he said before placing a quick kiss on the spot behind my ear that always made me weak on the knees for him “we should get some ice cream or something, at least it’s dried, don’t want to ruin her artwork”

“You’re probably right” I said cleaning my throat.

“Would you ever get a real one?”

“What? A tattoo? I’ve wanted one for a while but never got the guts to do it”

“I can take you if you want”

“Really?”

“Yeah... how about next weekend?”

“Yeah, I can do that”

“I can’t believe you’re actually going to have a tattoo, can’t wait to see that, princess” he said wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

                                                      -*-

We spent pretty much the whole day going to those attractions and I have to be honest, I was having the time of my life. He’s been treating me like a princess and doing all of these cheesy couple-ish things, and even though that’s all I’ve been dreaming of recently, this is also making me feel like we could be more than what we are, but I also have to keep in mind that this isn’t happening and I could almost feel my heart breaking. He’s just so sweet and so funny, and this feels like a date all the time, even though I know this is just so I don’t feel miserable, but at the same time... Ugh, I don’t know, this is just confusing.

Currently we were sitting by a food truck eating ice cream, and I couldn’t stop myself from watching all of his features closely, letting the imagine sink on my brain. He looked so soft with a pink and baby blue ice cream cone as the sunset light his his face on the right places, making me feel something fluttering inside of me. We were talking about the most random topics possible, but he was cut mid sentence and I just stood there staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah... it’s just that there’s something in your face”

“Oh” I said rubbing my cheek “there?”

“No, let me just...” the phrase trailed it off as got closer and tried to wipe my face with his thumb, and I swear my breath got caught in my throat. His thumb gently whipped my face and he sucked it clean, and I simply couldn’t stop starring “there you go”

“Thank you” I mumbled softly still too caught up on his hazel eyes.

“What do you want to do now?”

“Haunted house?” was the first thing that popped in my mind that wasn’t too flirtatious.

“How old are you? Three?!”

“No, just think it’s a fun thing to do”

“You can go, I’ll wait here”

“Are you scared, Mendes?”

“No, just don’t like it”

“Why?”

“I just don’t see the hype on it”

“It’s pretty cool, c’mon”

“Fine, only if our last attraction is the ferris wheel”

“Really?” I asked biting my lower lip.

“What? Afraid of heights, princess?”

Not really, just scared of being completely heartbroken on valentine’s day.

“Naaah, you’re the one scared here’s thought you’re tough, Raul”

“I am” He said straightening his posture to seem bigger than he already is.

“Cut the act, if you’re not afraid of it you’re going with me”

“Fine, but you’ll come with me to the ferris wheel then”

“Okay, deal, now let’s go” I said getting up and grabbing his arm.

“What? Now?”

“Yeah, you promised me marshmallows and a campfire”

“Okay, let’s do it then” he said getting up as well and grabbing my hand.

We went to the line that wasn’t really that big and from the corner of my eye I saw Raul  bouncing on his feet. It was pretty hilarious seeing a guy this big, who dealt with a lot worse situations on a hospital as pediatric surgeon, with a bunch of tattoos (a few colored with pink ink by Helen) and piercings, nervous about a hunted house made for teens.

“Raul... if you don’t want to go... it’s”

“I’m going” he said cutting me off and looking at me.

“Okay, okay, good, cause we’re next”

He took a deep breath and pulled me into the house. It was a classic hunted house at the beginning, with some stuff jumping at us and screaming, it was fine. But as we got deeper into the space, things started getting a little bit scarier. It was no longer machines, but people with really great makeup on actually starting to follow us around, making us actually run through the rooms like our life’s actually depended on it. I was actually having fun, giggling through the process until one of the last rooms. We got in and it was all dark, with only one light in the middle of the room that was pretty low. I could hear water running somewhere and there were a bunch of piles that I couldn’t recognize, and that was all the noise and shapes I could actually see.

“What do you think this is?” I whispered to Raul who was standing behind me with one of his hands on my waist.

“I don’t know, princess, but it’s oddly familiar” he said pulling me closer to him.

“Yeah, I think it’s from...” my sentence was cut in half as that song started playing and the light lit up enough to see a pile of ‘bodies’ laying around.

It was the classical scene from ‘It’ in the swell. When I looked to one of the corners, there he was, someone dressed as Pennywise smiling wickedly at us and I felt my heart stop. When I was younger, I was so damn afraid of clowns, but as I grew older, I thought that fear was gone, I haven’t been scared for ages and I don’t what it was, but this was the creepiest things I’ve ever seen. I guess Raul sensed that I wasn’t okay and grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the house before anything could happen. He gently sat me down on a bench that was behind the house and offered me his water bottle, that I gladly took and chugged it down.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly as he crouched down to be on my eye level.

“Yeah, just got a little...”

“I know” he said holding my hand and kissing my knuckles.

“I’m better now”

“Sure?” he asked and I just nodded “wanna go see if we can get a huge teddy bear?”

“Why?”

“It’s valentine’s day, princess, I think you deserve it”

“Okay, then” I said smiling and getting up.

Raul took the opportunity to place his hand on my lower back, slowly trailing down to end up on my back pocket, giving me the opportunity to stop him. That’s one of the things that always makes my heart beat a little faster. He’s known for his one nights stands and temper, but very few people know he’s actually a really selfless lover and always makes sure the other is extremely comfortable with everything that’s going on, and he can also be extremely sweet if he wants too. And that’s the problem, he rarely shows this side of his to people, so that’s why no one knows what he’s really like.

We went to a tent where we had to drop as many cans as possible to reach to the huge bear, with ping pong balls. The guy said we could make a pair and try it, but no one got the teddy bear yet. I think Raul felt challenged and said we could do it without blinking, he payed and turned to me, placing the bucket with balls in front of us. The guy started the timer and we started shooting as much as we could, throwing three balls at once and it was simply impossible to drop on of the cans specifically, even though we hit it a bunch of times. The guy announced time was off and that we didn’t make it, with a cocky grin on his face.

“There’s something wrong with that can, we shot it a million times, you’re fooling everyone” Raul said.

“Sorry you couldn’t impress your date, maybe you should find someone who could actually drop a few cans”

“I could if you didn’t glue it or something, and she’s not a date, she’s my girl” he said playing with his rings, which meant he was nervous.

“Yeah? Prove it, pretty boy”

“Look...” Raul started saying but I placed my hands gently on his chest and his voice died on his throat.

“Let me just see if I get it” I said turning my head to the guy from the tent and batting my lashes at him “all I have to do is drop all the cans with the bucket we gave to us, right?”

“If you want the teddy bear, then that’s it, but you can pick the prize from the last round”

“Okay, can I play again and then pick the prizes?” I asked as sweetly as I could.

“Sure, ma’am”

“We’re not going to play again” Raul said looking straight at the dude.

“Please” I asked turning my face to him and rubbing his chest gently “just trust me” I asked pouting and he sighed, nodding.

“Fine”

I smiled at him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, making him grin.

“Ready?” I asked Raul as we got back to our places and he nodded “go!”

We started throwing everything again and dropping all of them again, and as I imagined, the same can didn’t seem to even move even though we kept throwing all the balls on it. I suddenly grabbed the metal bucket and threw everything and was on it on the floor, throwing the bucket itself and finally dropping the last can. I turned to both of them smiling widely and they stared at me in shock, Raul’s face quickly turning into a boyish grin and the guy seemed angry.

“That’s not valid, I said...”

“You said that I had to drop all the cans only with the material you provided me, I’m pretty sure you gave me the fucking bear and that cute set of pillow of ‘Mr. Right’ and ‘Mrs. Always Right’”

“No fucking way, you can’t...” the guy started but Raul grabbed him by the colar.

“Give her what she asked for, you’re the little shit here who cheated on the first place, now, the fucking bear” Raul said in a raspy voice that almost had me and the guy both fainting, but for very different reasons.

“Okay” he said grabbing both of the requested items and giving it to us.

“Ferris wheel?”

“Do we really need to go?”

“Yeah, I went to that haunted thing, you’re coming with me”

“Fine” I said and went to wait in line while he placed the bear and pillows on his trunk.

The line was a little longer than usual, sunset was starting so it would be a pretty view when you hit the top. Raul has his arm around my shoulder as soon as he got in it with me, we had a casual chatter until it was our turn to hop on the seats. He placed my legs over his lap, keeping a hand on my thigh as the other one held my hand. There was a pleasant breeze hitting us and I payed my head on his shoulder as the attraction started working. I could easily picture us as a real thing when he acted like that, so soft and sweet, without the whole sex part of our relationship’, but unfortunately I had to remind myself every time that this was just that, nothing less and nothing more.

“You’re gorgeous” I heard his raspy and low voice and turned to face him.

“You are too” I said as I felt the blush rising on my cheeks.

“And cute” he said chuckling and turning a little bit sideways, so I was still comfortable with my legs above his, but he could pull me closer and keep his arm on the backrest of the seat “do you ever wonder about the future?”

“Hm, yeah, I want to be able to still live in Toronto, but also would like to expand my job a bit more”

“No, I know that... I was asking about your personal life, I love to hear about your job but that’s all you seem to talk about”

“Well, that’s all I think about”

“Don’t you think about a serious relationship or settling down?”

“Sometimes, I just try not to focus too much on it... you?”

“Me?” he asked and looked straight ahead, giving me the opportunity to analise his face better with the orange and pink glow lighting up his greek god like features “I’ve never really thought about it, at least not since my last girlfriend... I mean, I know I’d love to be a dad and getting up to do pancakes on a Sunday and all that cute shit, I just thought for a long while that I wasn’t ready for that yet”

“She didn’t deserve you” I spilled it out before I could hold it back and he just chuckled looking at me through the corner of his eye.

“I wasn’t the best boyfriend”

“That’s a lie and everyone knows it except you, Raul” I said and he just shrugged “I’m serious, I’m not your girlfriend and you did all of these little things for me, I can’t even imagine what you did for her, and... are you even listening?” I asked as I noticed that he was staring at me but his mind was somewhere else.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled cupping my face gently with one hand “it’s just... you look so good right now, I just keep getting lost in your eyes”

“Any girl would be lucky to have you, or to call you hers”

“It’s a shame they can’t though” his gaze kept falling to my lips as he spoke.

“At least they get to kiss you”

“Hmm no, they don’t, but you do” he said softly as he crashed our lips together on a tender kiss, the ferris wheel on top, just like those cliche movies I like to say I hate but at the end of the day I’m always watching them and crying my eyes out.

His hand on my face kept lightly caressing my cheek with his thumb as the other pulled me closer by my waist, placing me practically on his lap. I threaded my fingers on his chocolate locks and moved without breaking the kiss to actually sit on his lap, earning a little strangled moan from him. His lips were moving in sync with mine in a way I haven’t felt before. It was obviously filled with desire and passion, but at the same time was loving and like he had all the time in the world to kiss me, deepening it slowly, letting his hand on my leg trail and gently squeeze my thigh.

It was vicious kissing him and I couldn’t stop myself from getting lost in all the sensations he was providing. I could feel him everywhere -on my tongue, on my lips, on my cheeks, on my sides, on the back of my neck, under me; his scent was all I could smell and he was all I could taste. The only sounds I was able to hear were the soft ones we couldn’t hold back and my heart beating wildly in my ears. It’s like my mind went completely blank and I swear I never felt this way by only kissing him or anyone without second intentions. Even though it was passionate, it wasn’t with sexual intentions, it was something much deeper than that.

He pulled back for air after what felt like a lifetime but not enough time altogether, but his hands didn’t let me go anywhere, not that I actually wanted to. He rested his forehead in mine as we caught our breaths, the two of us grinning like idiots as the wheel started going down. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips one more time and just stared into my eyes, like he could see my soul.

“I wasn’t going to talk to you about it today but....” he mumbled softly, his voice deep and with the raspy tone I love way too much “...when you asked me about the future, I said and still try to say that I’m not ready yet and that I don’t know, that I don’t think about it, but that’s a lie, I’ve thought about it recently and that’s all that’s been on my mind lately, and maybe it is time to settle down”

Holy shit, that’s what this whole trip thing is about. He’s about to say that what we have is over. That was a goodbye kiss or something like that, oh my God, that’s what Peter meant when he told me to be careful when he first heard about us. Raul’s collection of broken hearts were huge and everyone knew it. I should’ve known better.

“Raul... I don’t want to talk about it, please” I said getting away from his touch to clear my head

“But, Y/N” shit, he didn’t even called me ‘princess’ or whatever.

“Don’t, please don’t do this to me, I don’t want to go through this again”

“Okay, do you want to go back to the cabin?” he asked and I nodded, bracing myself as I finally felt the temperature falling “are you cold? Do you want my jacket?” he offered and I shook my head.

We hopped off the attraction as soon as we could and walked to the car in a deafening silence. The drive to the campsite seemed longer than it actually was, he kept stealing glances at me with a concerned expression all over his face, but I kept my glare outside the car, curled into a ball on the passenger seat. As soon as the car went into a full stop in front of where we would spend the night, I got out and went straight into the bathroom, locking the door and sitting on the floor, finally letting all the emotions I was holding back flow out into tears.

I finally thought I’ve found someone who could be the one for me, he actually treated me right and cared about me, but apparently I don’t get to have a happy ending. I’m just tired of always being the second choice or the ‘good time call’. And with him, I finally felt like I might’ve been the one. I guess that’s why everyone falls for him. He makes us feel special and then get bored, just to mine onto the next one. And the worst? He doesn’t do it on purpose, he told me he’s not the one to catch feelings and he did everything the promised, I was the one reading too much into it. And it’s all my fault.

Once I got over my pitiful situation, I got up and decided to shower, taking my sweet time to try to relax and get that boy out of my head. When I was done with it, I went back to the room wrapped up on a towel and there was no sight of him at all, but his stuff were still there, so I took the opportunity to grab a pair of a white lace lingerie (since all the pieces I brought were similar, I had to pick one), sweatpants and a hoodie. I changed into it and braided my hair loosely, grabbing a pair of uggs I went out to try to find him. Only to see him sitting by a campfire with a backpack beside him, wrapped in a blanket and holding a stick into the fire with a marshmallow on the end. I don’t know if he noticed me, but if he did, he didn’t show, he just stood there, staring at the flames with a sour expression.

“You should grab a blanket or go back inside” he mumbled after a while, making me jump because I wasn’t expecting him to talk to me at all after my little shit show.

“Hm, actually, can I talk to you?”

“Sure” he said sighing and eating the sugary treat, I took a deep breath and sat beside him on the wood improvised bench.

“You did the campfire”

“You said you wanted one, I wanted to do as many things you wanted today, and besides, I’ve already brought the wine and marshmallows”

“Yeah, I noticed your efforts, thank you for that” I said and he nodded.

“It was worth it” he said and the awkward silence was starting to come back until I decided to break it.

“I’m sorry, about the way I acted, there’s just no excuse for what I did, you’re trying to talk to me and I just snapped at you for no reason, I’m so sorry” I said looking at the fire.

“It’s not your fault, maybe we weren’t ready to talk about it”

“No, it is, I got everything wrong and didn’t even let you finished... we’re friends, it’s my job to listen to you and help you when you need it”

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry too” I said softly and curling myself into a ball to not freeze to death.

“Hey, come here” he said opening his blanket for me to get closer to him, and I obliged happily, being quickly engulfed in his warmth and his scent “if I give you a marshmallow, will we go back to normal?”

“Sure” I said smiling at him and he chuckled.

He offered me a glass of wine and I could not refuse it. We spent what felt like ages just talking about random stuff and eating marshmallows, holding each other to keep us warm. Raul really is amazing and I don’t know if I’m ready to loose all of this, I hope we can still be friends after this.

“So... can I ask you why you’re crying?”

“I wasn’t” I said hating myself from being so transparent.

“Princess...”

“I just... it’s stupid really... and you probably already imagine why so...”

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that”

“So... who’s the lucky girl?” I tried changing the subject a little.

“Lucky girl? Honey, you’ve had like a glass of whine, are you already drunk?”

“What? Don’t act like I’m the crazy one, I know okay? I’m over it, I just want to be a good friend and get to know her”

“Get to know who, Y/N?!”

“The girl you’ve been thinking about settling down and stuff, there’s a girl, right? Isn’t that why you want to end things with me?”

“What the hell are you... oh my God, Y/N!”

“What?” I asked and he started full on laughing “it’s not funny, you know?”

“Shit, sorry, princess” he said trying to hold back the laughter “there’s no girl, I’m not seeing anyone but you, thought you knew that already, and I’m not ending anything! Are you crazy? Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, maybe you got bored and I don’t know, Raul, I just... I guess I got too confused about today and then you started talking about how you never thought about the future until now”

“Oh no, no, you got all wrong, there’s no other girl and I’m not bored, how could I be bored around you? You’re everything that’s been keeping me sane lately, I need you so fucking bad” he said looking quite desperate to make me believe on him “I know I suck at communicating and I need to work on that, but I thought that this was already too obvious”

“What?”

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Jesus Christ, you don’t know? What does all of our months together and today mean to you?”

“That you’re very loving and caring when you can, and the best friend I could ever had”

“Is that all? Nothing else came to your mind?”

“Hmm... no?”

“I’m fucking head over heels in love with you, dumbass”

“Wait a second... what?!”

“That’s what you heard, God, I can’t believe you didn’t notice!”

“How could I?”

“I took you to my parents, I dropped a lot of shifts just to cuddle the fuck out of you when you have a bad day or are your period, you’re the only one besides my family who’s seen the softest side of me, the only one besides my brothers who I tell everything to, the one I took five days off work to organize and take you to this trip on valentine’s day to keep you from being sad and also taking you on a date without freaking you out, to me we’ve been a lot more then special friends for ages now and I’m so sorry for that, I made the rule about no feelings allowed and I broke it, and I know you don’t feel the same, I just never thought you’d be so sad about it, or I wouldn’t even mention the subject of the future...”

“Shut up for like a second” I said cutting him off “are you telling me you’ve been in love with me this whole time and didn’t say a thing?”

“You’re crying half an hour ago, how did you expect me to tell you that earlier?!” He had a point. And I can’t believe I never noticed all the stuff he did for me and only me “Hm... can you say something?”

“Well, I guess I’m pretty dumb, cause I was crying cause I thought you wanted someone else and that hurt like hell cause I fell for you too”

“Are you kidding me?” he asked with the biggest smile on his face, he could literally light up the whole carnival if he wanted.

“Nope”

“You actually fell for me? Like I did for you?”

“Just like that” I said grinning like a freak.

He cupped my jaw with his massive hand and pulled me in for a kiss. It was like there were fireworks everywhere. His lips molded into mine like they’re made to be glued together forever. His tongue swiped on my bottom lip asking for me to open my mouth, which I did without even blinking, making Raul let out a soft groan, pulling me to straddle his thighs as he deepened the kiss, and not long after, trailing the down my neck with opened-mouth kisses, making me whimper lightly and soon I felt his smirk against my skin.

“Not the worst valentine’s day, eh?” he said kissing my forehead as we tried to recover from the kiss.

“Nope, definitely the best” I said cupping his face and kissing him all over again.

                                                       -*-

*Last piece inspired by the valentine’s day!

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

: @fivefeetapartt

[thiswasinevitableid]

70 for sternclay, nsfw please :)

70: you’re planning my best friend’s wedding which we find out the day after you drunkenly hit on me at a bar and I reject you.

“God I hope this guy isn’t a jerk.” Dani plays with her hair as Aubrey fidgets with her phone.

“Hey, if he is, you’ve got me as back-up.” Barclay pats her shoulder reassuringly, “plus, like, you two are the brides. You’re the bosses of the wedding.”

“If we really were the bosses, we wouldn’t be working with a wedding planner in the first place.” Aubrey grumbles. 

There’s a knock on the door and Barclay stands, “I’ll get it, you two finish mentally bracing yourselves.”

He opens the door to find a tall, dark haired man with bright blues and a well-cut suit staring at him. Their expressions morph to shock and recognition at the same instant.

“Hi, hic, big guy, what’s your name?” The man’s blue eyes are noticeable even in the dim light of the bar. 

“Barclay.” He turns on his stool, giving the man a once over that he can’t help but notice. 

“You, hic, here, hic, with anyone?”

“Nope.”

“Want to, hic, be?” 

The man is clearly built under his v-neck t-shirt, and Barclay would dearly love to get a closer look at his ass. Trouble is, his ass is having a hard time staying balanced in that chair. 

“Sorry, blue eyes, not tonight.”

The man slinks away before Barclay can even ask if he wants him to call him a ride. 

“I’m looking for Aubrey Little’s residence?”

“You found it. She and Dani are in here.” He ushers blue-eyes inside, doesn’t envy him the look of suspicion he gets from both women. 

“Good afternoon, Ms. Little and Ms. Coulice, I’m Joseph Stern, and I’m here to help your wedding go off without a hitch.”

“Great. Let’s get this over with. Honey, can you go get the notes AH Dr. Harris Bonkers put that down!” Aubrey dives off the chair, grabbing a phone charger from the jaws of the ten pound white rabbit. 

As one bride opens up her laptop and the other re-cages a disgruntled small mammal, Stern turns to him.

“And, um, how do you know the brides to be?”

“Dani’s been my best friend since middle school, so I’m her man of honor and helping with the wedding planning.”

“I see. Oh, thank you Ms. Coulice.”

“Dani is fine.” Dani returns to her spot in the loveseat while Stern sits down in a nearby chair with her laptop. He reads for several moments without comment, Aubrey trading worried looks wh Barclay and Dani as he does. 

“Are these the specific venues you have in mind, or just examples of the type of location you’d like?”

“Mostly examples.” 

“Got it. Would you mind sending me these files? That way I can have them as reference when I’m looking into possible venues.”

“You’re not gonna, like, try to talk us into the Yacht Club or something?”

Stern looks at Aubrey with a warm, polite smile, “Ms. Little--Aubrey--, your father may have retained me, but my job is to make the wedding as close to what you want as possible. I’m not here to undermine you.”

“O-kay” Aubrey still sounds wary, but she and Dani relax as Stern goes over his planning approach with them and works out a tentative schedule of meetings. When he’s done, Barclay offers to walk him to the door. 

Just as he steps outside, he turns, “I, um, I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention our exchange last night to either of them. Or to Mr. Little. It’s not a habit of mine, I just had a bit too much, um, liquid courage.”

“You got it. Kinda feeling like I dodged a bullet myself.”

“Oh?” A dark eyebrow arches playfully. 

“Rather not sleep with the enemy.”

“Wh-did you miss the part where I said I was here to help them?” 

“Nope, but you and I both know it’s a lie. You’re here because Aubrey’s dad has a bug up his butt about this wedding causing a scandal or not being fancy enough or some bullshit, so he called you in to make sure it stays bland.” He sighs, “Look, Mr. Stern, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but Dani is like a sister and Aubrey is one of my best friends; I’m here to make sure the wedding is actually what they want.”

Stern pinches the bridge of his nose, “is there anything I can to convince you I’m not trying to make them miserable?”

“Yeah. Quit.”

“Not a chance.” Is the immediate reply. 

“Well, there’s your answer then.” With that, he shuts the door. There’s a frustrated huff on the other side, and then footsteps fading away.

--------------------------------

Stern sighs, checks his appearance in the front window as he waits for Dani or Aubrey to open the door. He’s been working with them two weeks now, and while both women (and Dr Harris Bonkers) have warmed up to him some, Barclay remains polite but distant the times they’ve crossed paths. Lord almighty Stern can’t believe he almost slept with him. 

Yes, the man looks like his wet dreams made flesh and yes, Stern would like to ride him like a show-horse, but what a nightmare it would have made this whole assignment. Even if Barclay’s reasons insult him, he’s glad they’ve settled on keeping their distance.

Maybe this more casual look will help the other man see he’s not some stuffed suit out to ruin his friend’s wedding.

“Oh, you’re early.” Barclay opens the door with his usual pleasant but cool expression.

“No, I’m not. It’s three.” 

“Wait, shit really?” Barclay pulls out his phone as they walk inside, “damn, I must’ve lost track of time when I was cooking. Oh. Uh.” He looks at Stern, apologetic, “and I have a text from Aubrey saying she and Dani had a change of plans and won’t be here until seven.”

“That’s not great, but it’s workable. I can leave and come back.”

“Don’t you live kinda far--uh, huh, she says for us to just test out the menu together and leave her and Dani some for dinner.”

“I guess we can manage tha--why are there ingredients and pots everywhere?”

“Because...I’m…Cooking?” Barclay glances sideways at him. 

“What happened to the entire conversation about caterers? When did they change? What’s-”

“Hold on.” Barclay raises one hand, voice calm and deep, soothing over Stern’s rising worries like waves over hot skin, “think you’re mixed up; we’re trying out the food for the rehearsal dinner today. The one I’m cooking. Not the reception.”

“Oh thank the lord.” Stern slumps forward on the counter, “I thought I was about to have a whole day of calling disgruntled employees to tell them to nevermind about a quote.”

“Nope. Now have a seat, look like you’re gonna pass out on Dani’s floor. You want something to drink? We got water, beer, iced tea…”

“Water’s fine, thank you.” He tracks Barclay through the kitchen as he retrieves a glass from an upper cabinet, shirt riding up to show a patch of a dark, fuzzy belly that Stern instantly wants to feel pressed against him as it’s owner pins him to the nearest flat surface. 

Cooking seems to relax the other man enough that he actually chats with Stern, rather than keeping their conversation focused on the wedding. Stern learns he’s a personal chef and cookbook editor, though his original background was in baking. 

“Okay man, I gotta know” Barclay stirs something cardamom scented over the stove, “what’s with the shirt?”

“It’s from the radio station that first broadcast the story of the Michigan Dogman.”

“The what?”

“The Michigan Dogman, it’s a cryptid, um, nevermind” he curses himself for choosing casual clothes, “it’s niche and nerdy, you don’t want to hear about it.”

“Wrong, now you gotta tell me everything.” Barclay grins at him over his shoulder.

So he does, gradually at first in case Barclay regrets pushing this geekery button and needs to change the conversation, but the other man simply listens, really listens, as he cooks while Stern talks about his journey to the radio station and his talk with the DJ who accidentally started a legend. 

They keep talking as they eat, swapping travel stories and book recommendations, Barclay laughing when Stern shares some of the more ridiculous requests he’s gotten while working as a wedding planner. 

When Aubrey and Dani arrive home, they take one look at him and Barclay, stopped mid-anecdote and smiling at each other, and trade a surprised glance. 

All Stern can think is you and me both.

------------------------------------

The planning goes more smoothly after that night, Barclay beginning to trust Stern more and more. Stern also learns that he trusts Barclay’s judgement , and the other man is invaluable in helping him narrow down options to present to the brides, both of whom are overall pleased with his work.

He’s particularly proud of his find for the wedding venue. The Madonna Inn is perfect, brightly colored and fancy but still just a bit kitschy, like the locations Dani originally showed him. Both brides were overjoyed, which is why all four of them came down for the weekend to make preparations and start scoping out vendors for the food and flowers.  Dani and Aubrey went back up to the city Sunday night, but he and Barclay are staying at the inn the rest of the week, Stern in hopes of having everything scheduled and coordinated and Barclay there in case he needs a second set of eyes (he’s working on a new cookbook and his clients are traveling, so taking the week down the coast is no trouble). 

Today has been a work day, but Stern is taking tomorrow off basically because no one has time to meet with him. So after a late afternoon spent lounging on the beach, the two of them go out for a leisurely dinner. On a whim, Stern lets Barclay select and order his meal for him. He doesn’t mean for it to be flirtatious at first, he just trusts Barclay’s culinary instincts and is tired of making decisions. But one look at Barclay’s face, his widening pupils and sudden blush, tell Stern all he needs to know. 

“You gonna be good and eat whatever I give you?” Barclay murmurs, so low he’s almost inaudible under the clank of silverware and hum of conversation. 

“Of course.” Stern puts on his sweetest smile, shores up his defenses against the self-doubt curling up his spine. He’s not fast enough, and so orders another cocktail. 

Halfway through the meal, he notices Barclay watching him, and another piece clicks into place; the cook keeps eyeing his lips and throat as he eats, often shifts in his chair if Stern makes a delighted noise after a bite. When dessert comes, the accidental sounds are replaced by deliberate ones and he luxuriates as he eats his tiramisu, licking the fork to be sure not a drop of cream is wasted. 

Barclay asks for the check, and two more slices of cake to-go, without ever taking his eyes off of Stern. He’s feeling confident, and a bit wobbly, as Barclay drives them back to the Inn, taking the larger man’s hand and pulling him towards one of the beds before he can even get the lights on.

A large, gentle hand on his shoulder, “no can do, blue eyes.”

“But I, hic, we, hic-” the world goes sideways as Baclay unlinks their hands. 

“Go get some sleep, Joe.”

He changes while Barclay’s in the bathroom, huddles under the covers and faces the window so the other man can’t see him burning top to bottom with shame. 

Things get worse in the morning; he’s awoken by a phone call saying the florist has an open slot to meet with him in an hour and so he throws on the nearest nice clothes and dashes out the door. That meeting is followed by a phone call from Mr. Little who is none to pleased with the location choice and Stern spends forty-five minutes convincing him that the Inn is perfectly tasteful and also it’s what the brides want and that counts for a great deal wouldn’t you agree?

His nerves are firing full-strength when he gets back to the room. Barclay, freshly showered and clothed, looks up at him from the bed where he’s thumbing through Cooks Illustrated, reading glasses perched on his nose. 

“Rough morning?”

“ Yes.”

He shuts the magazine “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about last night?”

“Also no.”

“Well, I do.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You simply aren’t interested in me that way and I’ve made an ass of myself twice by misreading the situation.”

“You’re wrong. You’re my type, blue eyes-”

“Clearly not, since-”

“-When you’re sober.” Barclay sits all the way up, “which is why I wanna know why you only flirt with me when you’re so drunk neither of us can try anything.”

“Because...because approaching people like that makes me nervous. I’m already under enough stress as it, running block for Aubrey and Dani against Mr. Little without getting myself fired, and the thought of trying to flirt, it’s, everything starts going wrong, it will all go wrong and-” the panic is back, his composure leaving him and taking whatever respect Barclay had for him with it. 

“Joe, breathe.”

“Breathing is not the issue here!” 

Barclay stands, face calm, and walks over to him. Instead of stepping in front of him, he circles behind, and a hand rests at the base of Stern’s neck.

“Let’s try that again. Inhale, blue eyes, a nice long one.” 

Stern complies, Barclay’s voice carrying no threats but leaving no room for protest. 

“Breathe out, count to four while you do.”

Stern exhales, nerves diverting energy from panic to desire, Barclays fingers on his skin and dominant baritone in his ear. 

“Good boy. Do it again.”

Stern takes another deep breath, then another, over and over as Barclay leads him to the bed and slips off his jacket, followed by his shoes and socks. 

“That’s it Joe, you’re doing so good.” He sits beside him on the bed, stroking his hair and Stern follows his touch, “what do you need? What helps when this happens?”

“Something to, to focus on, until I calm down. Just not work related or too complicated.”

“Hmmm” a thumb brushes over his lips, then down his chin, “I got a few things in mind, but they’re pretty damn dirty. Should we try something else?”

“No, please, I, I want that, want, want to be good for you like that.”

“Okay blue eyes, we can do that. You gotta promise me you’ll say ‘stop’ if something doesn’t feel good, okay?”

He nods, heart shaking his ribs, and Barclay leans and kisses him once, tenderly, before laying back on the bed, hands resting beneath his head.

“Get my dick out, yeah, there we go, good boy, I want you to use your mouth, can you, OH, ohhhhyeah.” His cock bumps Stern’s cheek as his hips tilt, a response to Stern lapping teasingly at the base. He drags his tongue all the way up the shaft, takes the head into his mouth, doing his damndest to lock eyes with Barclay the whole time. 

“Babe, fuck, that’s it, oh fuck you look good like that, knew you’d look good with my dick in your mouth, been thinking about it since that first night.”

Stern whimpers, hungry for more and pushes his head down. Having Barclay’s cock in his mouth forces him to keep his breathing measured, and so he savors it, senses filling with salt and skin and lingering hints of soap. 

“That’s it babe, nice and slow, we got all day. Long as I get to cum sometime before noon I’m happy.”

Stern rolls his tongue over the tip as he pulls off, switches to kisses and licks as he slowly jerks him off. Occasionally he skates up, nudging Barclay’s shirt with his nose--his hands uninterested in leaving his cock--so he can leave deep, longing kisses across his stomach and hips. Every movement elicits a groan or a sigh, every kiss and suck earns him praise. It’s only when his hands are slick with pre-cum and his own saliva that Barclay bucks his hips more intently, growling when Stern takes him back into his mouth. 

“Shit you’re good at this, not, fuck, not surprised, look like you would be, like all you need is for me to take care of you and you’ll open that fucking perfect mouth whenever I ask FUCK, oh you like that, don’t you babe? Fuck, shit, like the idea of taking what I give you?”

He whines, rubbing his thighs together as Barclay’s cock bumps the back of his mouth.

“You got three seconds to decide how you wanna take this.”

Stern locks eyes with him again, and dips down the barest bit more. Barclay’s hands tangle in his hair as he groans “good boy” and cums, bitter and warm, down Stern’s throat.

His hands flop onto the bed, allowing Stern to sit up. 

“Did...was I good?”

“So fucking good.” Barclay thwacks a hand dramatically onto his forehead to wipe it, “do you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop?”

“I want” Stern presses his hand against his cock, as if this will help rather than make him wetter, “please, can we keep going?”

“Yeah” Barclay sits up, kisses each cheek, “pants and underwear off, leave the shirt and tie.”

By the time Stern is appropriately undressed, Barclay is back on the bed with the to-go box and  a plastic fork. He reclines on the pillows, box on his upper chest, “come straddle me, knees about here” he pats the bed near his waist. Stern scoots up into position, Barclay licking his lips as he does. 

“Good boy. Now, you’re gonna show me how you get off, so I can know just what to do tonight to make you cry into the mattress.”

“Fuck.” Stern gasps, fingers already rapidly stroking his dick.

“Mmmm, look at how slick you are. Think that deserves a reward.” He spears a piece of cake, “open.”

Stern opens his mouth, leaning forward so Barclay can more easily feed him.

“You do like being spoiled. I can work with that.” Barclay rumbles, pleased, when Sterns fingers work frantically after a second bite. 

“Please, Barclay, I want to kiss you, please say I can kiss you.”

“Not until you finish.” 

“The, the cake or myself.”

“Yourself, blue eyes.”

He’s panting now, sweat soaking through his shirt, and slowing his hand and hips to take the bites Barclay offers. When he cums it doubles him over, and as he’s bracing his hands on the headboard, trying not to collapse on his partner, Barclay moves everything aside and cups his face, gently guiding him down to kiss him. They stay like that as Stern slowly explores his mouth, tastes leftover cake and laughs when a coppery beard scratches his neck. And when he begins to drop, breath shallow and fingers shaking, Barclay rolls them onto their sides, holds him close. Tells him over and over that he’s proud of him, that he did so well, that he’s right here and he’ll take care of him, give him whatever he wants. 

“Honestly, breakfast sounds better than anything else right now.” Stern mumbles against his chest. 

“I’ll order us some. You still need me to dom you, or are you ready to start calling the shots again?”

“I don’t call all the shots.” 

“Just most of ‘em. Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda like that about you. You’re good at what you do.” Barclay kisses his forehead. 

“I...I think I’d like to rinse off while you order breakfast.”

Barclay offers one more kiss before they roll out of bed, has Stern’s robe waiting for him when he gets out of the shower and brings him the room service tray as soon as it’s delivered. They lounge together on Stern’s bed, watching the Inn come to life as the afternoon draws near. From here, they can even see the spot where their friends will get married.

“The ceremony is gonna be perfect.”

“As perfect as I can manage, yes.”

“You got a date for it yet?”

“No.” 

“You want one?” Barclay smiles at him, the sunlight making him look as if he stepped out of a daydream and into Stern’s bed. 

“Depends; would that date be you?”

“Yep.” Barclay kisses his shoulder.

“Well then,” Stern grins, tips his chin up for a coffee-flavored kiss, “there’s your answer.’

[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 1

OH BOY Y’ALL IT’S HERE

This is the first string of fics I would wholeheartedly recommend from my bookmarks (probably first of three, we’ll see). There are 65 fics sorted into 9 categories: Jaunts Through History/Canon; South Downs; Post-Apocalypse; Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell; AU/UA (UA is Universe Alternate, where everything is the same, just...a bit to the left. I feel like that term has more nuance, idk); Soft; Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings; Bonus; H/C /Whump/BAMF. These will be the same categories for every fic rec post in this vein. I try to include warnings for sex and gore, if applicable, but please check the tags of each fic before you read, just in case.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I BROKE A LINK OR MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING.

I don’t read explicit works and I’m not a big fan of Human!AUs so there’s not any of those, but there’s a bit of just about everything else. Please enjoy! Hope the ReadMore works, sorry for folks on mobile if it doesn’t!

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Bright With His Splendour – Daegaer (T, specifically book-verse. This is an exquisite look at the developments in Crowley himself, especially as it relates to his war-related traumas in the War in Heaven and later WWI. The Arrangement is Aziraphale’s idea here, which is awesome. Highly emotional and visceral.)

2. Whatever Road We Choose – @ri-writing (T, the one where Aziraphale gets jumped by some demons and Crowley nurses him back to health, and Aziraphale has to confront his worldview when he realizes Heaven never responded to his call for help. Quiet and powerful as Aziraphale starts to realize Crowley isn’t everything he thought he was and maybe Heaven isn’t, either.)

3. Linked – @chekhov (T, the one where Crowley shows up in Bukhara and Aziraphale has to pretend to capture him so his angel intern doesn’t destroy Crowley entirely. Has a lot of fun moments and emotional growth in play. And yearning. Lots and lots of yearning.)

4. The Demon Favourite – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley is posing as a nobleman and manages to build himself a little ramshackle family, and Aziraphale takes care of them when Crowley gets himself discorporated. Extremely tender, lots of Crowley cooing over babies.)

5. Akashic Records – @penig (Generally G, one T, the series where Crowley is head-over-heels from the start and broadcasts it loudly, and Aziraphale is in Panic Protective Mode. The series is gorgeous and vibrant, the characterizations are so spot-on and yet fresh, the dialogue is perfect, the character growth is delicious. I can’t gush enough about this one.)

6. But The Old Love Was Not So – BuggreAlleThis (G, the one written in the style of Le Morte d’Arthur about Aziraphale’s final few days in the court of King Arthur. Hilarious with the promise of emotional pain to come in the second half.)

7. flightless bird (dumb, wild, and free) – JennaCupcakes (@veganthranduil) (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale make out for half of history while Aziraphale has an ongoing existential crisis about being a broken angel. Poignant, sensual, culminates in a deliciously fraught confrontation where Aziraphale has to finally sort himself out and Crowley says some hard but true things. I once spent three hours trying to find this fic again without remembering the title so now it’s kinda ingrained.)

8. Nanny Knows Best – @patricianandclerk (M, rest of series is T, the one where Crowley endures some truly horrible experiences while serving as Warlock’s nanny. Adorable relationship between Warlock and Crowley, and it’s only getting better. The dynamic with Aziraphale is nuanced and beautiful. Rating for sexual harassment and groping, and it’s a bit of a difficult read at times during those moments, so be careful.)

9. The Holy Essence of Experience – Dragonsquill (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have loved each other almost since the beginning, but have been very careful to not put a name to it. The yearning is real and so gorgeous. The scene just before they come up with their plan to avert Armageddon haunts me.)

10. The Arrangement – @writeonclara (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley try to get a handle on this sex thing. Non-explicit, hilarious, and unique! I can only assume the rating will probably be going up, which makes me sad because it’s hard to find nonexplicit fics that still deal with what sex brings to a relationship, but what’s written for now is well worth it.)

11. And After – @randomacts13 (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale work through their self-worth and have lots of flashbacks. The first one involves Crowley taking care of a seed that keeps dying and leaving another seed behind, which is not at all feeding into his self-hatred; the second has Crowley and Warlock gluing coins to the sidewalk; the third is about Aziraphale on a one-way flight to Complete Mental Breakdown if he doesn’t get some help for his anxiety and repressed emotions soon.)

12. The road to rapture has a lot of pit stops – emmagrant01 (E but only for the sixth chapter, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley have shared five kisses throughout history and one where they meant it. People like me who don’t like explicit material can skip Chapter 6 (or just read until they smooch) and go straight to the epilogue. The rest of it is amazing; every kiss is believable in context and has such good lead-up. Very romantic, very good.)

13. Round and Round the Garden – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth get up to some hanky-panky beneath a willow tree while Warlock sleeps in his pram. Just sweet and silly fluff.)

14. Flecks of Light and Dark – volunteerfd (T, the one where Aziraphale learns to deal with his emotions. Has a really beautiful recurring thing of Crowley and Aziraphale making up stories of who they’d be if they were human, and Aziraphale doing his best to do good and help even when Heaven ties his hands.)

15. Before the Water Rises – VitreousHumor (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become friends while helping a village make rafts to escape the Flood. Has a lot of really cute moments and some pretty exquisite romantic tension.)

16. Beneath the Stars – @brooklynbabybucky (G, the one where Crowley asks Aziraphale to cut his hair. Just has some really lovely imagery and a sweet bonding moment.)

17. lit in the darkness – @toedenandbackagain (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale share a bed sometimes throughout history. Warnings for some sexual content in chapters 7 and 14, but each chapter has its own warnings in the description. Presents some beautiful bonding moments and the absolute finest pining known to man.)

 SOUTH DOWNS

18. The Play’s the Thing – volunteerfd (G, the one where Aziraphale is cast in the local production of Hamlet and Crowley is trying his best to be supportive of his truly awful actor husband. Hilarious and light and absolutely a classic.)

19. Parsley, Thyme, Sage, Daffodils – @mostweakhamlets (NR, the one where Aziraphale has a cooking YouTube channel and Crowley is camera-shy. Tackles PTSD in a really thoughtful way and is Peak Soft Cottage Husbands aesthetic, it really packs in the most warm fuzzies in a small package.)

20. to carthage then i came – @lvslie (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and learn to work through their issues around being together and being their own people after cutting ties with Heaven and Hell. Poetic, poignant, the last chapter is a thing of absolute beauty. Very heavily symbolic, that one.)

21. A Better Place for Us to Be – @befuddledmackem (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale tour a particular cottage. Deeply emotional, the Absolute Best Real Estate Pr0n if you also secretly watch HGTV and weep, has completely ruined any future house-buying opportunity I might have because nothing will be this sweet and perfect.)

22. Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak – trieduntrue (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale move to the South Downs and very carefully orbit into something more like a relationship. Exquisite tension, beautifully-done pining and slow-burn, really fun bits of world building. M is for a sex scene at the very end but it’s easy to skip over, it’s small.)

23. reasons wretched and divine – @stammiviktor (T, the one where Crowley storms out after a fight and finds himself in an actual conversation with God. Highly emotional and a great look into Crowley’s head, both in how he feels about God and how he feels about Aziraphale.)

24. The Sprawl of Life – @dietraumerei (T and G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale settle into village life quite well. Has sex-positive asexual characters, which is fun (brief note about that: it’s not explicit, but the places it happens, there is clear leadup and it can get a bit intense, so take care of yourselves). Has touches of angst that balance beautifully with the fluff, lots of BAMF Aziraphale for the soul.)

25. Seashells and Fingerpainting – Vagabond (@waffleironbiddingwar) (T, and I recommend this one specifically from the series, can be read independently: the one where Gabriel is sent to the South Downs for a time out. This is quite possibly the best Gabriel character study I have ever seen; it’s tender and heartbreaking and somehow you find yourself rooting for Gabriel to figure out why he’s being punished despite yourself. All the warm fuzzies. All of them. Read the whole series, it’s great!)

 POST-APOCALYPSE

26. Laugh When It Sinks In – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley helps Aziraphale build a home in the bookshop flat. Another one that feeds right into my interior decorating itch. So sweet and uplifting, will absolutely make you feel proud of Aziraphale.)

27. Chosen and Unchosen – Bookwormgal (T, the one where the kids have to go save Aziraphale and Crowley from Heaven and Hell. Has some EXCELLENT Warlock characterization and some really good tension between him and Adam, and the angst is properly upsetting. A right good adventure romp that’s really starting to ramp up.)

28. Resonance – Macx (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale become something Else. Good world building, beautiful romance, and Gabriel getting told off. Love how Crowley and Aziraphale growing into their new roles is handled, and how Adam unexpectedly ties in at the end.)

29. Falling Heavenward – @kanna-ophelia (T, the one where Crowley unexpectedly has to win his angel back because of a really twisty deal with Heaven. This one is a pretty wild ride, but I would say the centerpiece is Fallen Gabriel, who becomes Asmodeus. It becomes a battle for Aziraphale’s heart, though Asmodeus isn’t in it for the feels so much as the revenge, obviously. Really interesting premise and something to read if rooting for Crowley is a way you like to spend your time.)

30. A Leisurely Stroll Down – Saturniidae (@Saturniiddae) (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale have to fight for their relationship. Has some sexual content that isn’t explicit, and gore that really sort of is. I have thrown things and cried a little at this one, but that was the price for reading while it was still updating. Absolutely gorgeous in every way. Also has God speaking through a household object and it’s hilarious.)

31. From God’s Perspective – Unfortunately (T, the one where God comes down personally to interfere in Her children’s business. The absolute best portrayal of God in any fic ever, really humanizes her in the best ways. I love how she interacts with her angel and demon children. It’s almost more of a character study of God than anything. And yes, the Sound of Music is sung.)

 BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

32. Worth Knowing – summersage (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley discuss the Fall and manage Miltonian angel sex despite it. Has a take on how the Fall works that I was thinking about but couldn’t find words for until this fic, and it’s absolutely fantastic. The Miltonian angel sex is esoteric and weird and not at all erotic, but it is beautiful. The mortifying ordeal of being KNOWN indeed.)

33. Legendary Lovers; Your Hand in Mine – @tenoko1 (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale regroup in a hotel instead of his flat and have a bit of a knock-down-drag-out. Crowley is angry and scared and so in love he can’t stand it, and Aziraphale is practically going at light speed in confronting and knocking down his own barriers, and it’s highly emotionally charged and wonderful.)

 AU/UA

34. Love of My Life – @ellewrites4 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get together very early and make it work all throughout history. Gorgeous romance, and the fallout from the Holy Water caper and the bandstand breakup are EXQUISITE. Peak emotional turmoil, sweet boundary negotiation, forgiveness and love and anxiety and fear—just delicious.)

35. True Love and High Adventure – @grifalinas (T, the one that’s a Princess Bride au. Absolutely on-point casting, wonderful writing style, the perfect escape fic for a little while. Incomplete but still worth the read.)

36. Inverse Omens – @amuseoffyre (T, the one where Aziraphale is a demon with a p0_rn shop and Crowley is an angel running a community center from a bombed-out church. Y’all recommended this to me on my demon!Aziraphale rating post, and it’s AMAZING. Perfect characterization and a wonderful retelling. Warning for Chapters 11 and 12, Aziraphale’s Nanny Ashtoreth messes with the Dowling parents in far more direct ways and there’s scenes of Mr. Dowling jerking it, so take care, friendos. Also Aziraphale makes the filthiest double entendres and it’s delightful. Also also Crowley needs all the hugs.)

37. A Blaze of Light – @wingedspirit (T, the one where Crowley is Raphael and he and Aziraphale make a Pact instead of an Arrangement. This one is a wild adventure, friends, and a riveting one. The Pact puts an interesting spin on their developing relationship, and by the time it gets to TV canon, it’s already off the rails in the best ways. Also Crowley has some pretty heavy depression that manifests in his former Archangel-level powers blowing up a bit, which is cool. Should be wrapping up soon and I’m pumped for it!)

38. it’s high time that you love me, cause you do it so well – mygalfriday (T, the one where Crowley can’t physically say the word “love” but can diddly dang well show it if he wants. Already super sweet but the confession scene at the end is just incredible.)

39. Hold the Line – sum_nemo (T, the one that’s a Pacific Rim AU. I adore PacRim, you guys, and this one is just *chef’s kiss*. Puts Crowley as Raleigh (lost his twin sister copilot) and Aziraphale as Mako and includes a pretty painful shared past between them, which is already simmering and delicious. Can’t wait to see where this one goes.)

40. The Truth Remains – @wanderingalicewrites (NR, the one where Crowley was Raphael, had a good relationship with his siblings, was in love with Aziraphale, and knew he was destined to Fall. Aziraphale is still in mourning for Raphael and Crowley is still working out the point of his existence, so there’s some very good pining and existential dread up in the mix. A highly interesting take on the situation and very, very good at punching you in the feels with the flashbacks to Heaven and how different things are now, especially with the other Archangels. LOL it just updated while I was writing this and I am UNDONE, I am in PAIN, the bandstand scene always hurts but NOT LIKE THIS. ALSO MORE ARCHANGEL FEELS, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN)

41. Everything Dark and Unseen – @enjambament (M, the one that’s a Psyche and Eros retelling. After the Fall but before Eden, Heaven and Hell need a truce, so they marry Crowley and Aziraphale to keep the peace in a symbolic sort of binding. A beautiful romance, an excellent action sequence, the cutest OC creatures, the best OC angels, and I wish there was a continuation of how canon progressed with this monumental change in their history bc I am THIRSTY for more. Rated M for a kinda-sorta sexy scene but there’s not really Efforts sooo…it’s more sensual than sexual? I guess? Either way, highly recommended.)

42. The Name of the Star is Wormwood – LusBeatha (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil was a fly agaric mushroom. It is exactly as eccentric as it sounds, but presented in such a way that it actually makes sense. It jumps around in time, but the storyline taking place in the present is looking like Armageddon 2.0. Beautifully written, great take on canon.)

43. Sticks and Stones – @justkeeptrekkin (T, the one where Crowley takes on the guise of Casanova while trying to get over Aziraphale and Aziraphale shows up, whoops. GORGEOUS imagery, the most scrumptious pining, and if y’all appreciated the 2005 Pride and Prejudice dance scene, the one in here will about blow that one out of the water, if you can believe it. Knocked the breath right out of me.)

44. Yearning to Hold You Close – @guanin (T, the one where Aziraphale has a relationship with King Richard and asks Crowley to help save him, and there is a big sticky mess of feelings when they realize Richard and Crowley look almost exactly alike. In part inspired by David Tennant playing Richard II. A delicious, delicious emotional quandary where Crowley and Richard both wonder if Aziraphale only loves them because they look like each other, and Aziraphale doesn’t know how to say what he feels. Very sweet, very emotionally fraught.)

 SOFT

45. Just This Once – @julia-writes-fanfic (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale kiss in the 90s and it’s amazing. The drunk 90s kiss is already good, but them revisiting it sober in 2010 makes both even better.)

46. A Sky Full of Stars – @kedreeva (G, the one where Aziraphale takes Crowley someplace where they can see the cosmos. The first GOmens fic I ever bookmarked, so I felt like including it, because it’s unbelievably sweet and has amazing visuals.)

47. The Serpent and the Seagull – @ineffably-good (G and T, the series where Aziraphale misses Crowley so he gets a little pet snake. Frederick the snake is among the best of the GOmens OCs, hilarious and foul-mouthed and once Crowley starts being able to understand him, it only gets better. Frederick likes helping his pets work their problems out so they’ll leave him alone to sleep. It’s extremely cute.)

48. The Discerning Black Swan – @lwtis (T, the one where Crowley is definitely not projecting on a black swan desperately trying to court a white mute swan in St James’ Park. I love how Crowley interfaces with his emotional problems through the swan, and the visual of the two swans is gorgeous.)

49. What A Demon Dreams – @whatawriterwields (G, the one where Crowley has some weird dreams, dude. I love the symbolism and the imagery in this one, it’s really vivid. It’s hard to pull off a concept like this so I respect how the author is able to do it and make it work.)

 TOUCH STARVED/WINGS/BODY WORSHIP

50. Sunlight – crorvid (M, the one where Aziraphale is a touch-starved angel. Doesn’t deserve the M rating, in my opinion, but Aziraphale does feel the touching during their makeouts very intensely and it’s incredibly satisfying.)

51. The Curious Attractiveness of Others – @giddygeek (T, the one where Crowley finally gets to groom Aziraphale’s wings and Aziraphale gets to show Crowley how tender that can be. Another one with some great world building tucked into the corners, and emotionally satisfying grooming.)

52. Broken Wings – werebear (@werebeary) (T and M, the series where wing grooming is incredibly intimate and I got the vapors from the tenderness. Also the first time I saw anything about preen glands. The second one is rated M because the preening gets a bit…intense. Not sexual, exactly, but it’s close. Very passionate.)

53. Birthmark – Linebreaker (G, the one where Crowley has a scar on his lower back and a sad story to go with it. This one needs a bit of a harder rating, imo, and there’s one line that’s a bit Much, but otherwise it’s a sad and beautiful look at a potential reason why Crowley hates the fourteenth century so much. Lots of Crowley body worship packed into few words, very satisfying.)

54. They Are A Pale Picture of You – @ineffablefool (T, the one where they go for a walk during winter and things are just Soft. Ineffablefool has a wealth of body-positive asexual GOmens fics, but I think I like this one best, it’s sweet and adorable and some jerk who insults Aziraphale’s weight rightly gets the worst day of his life. Also Crowley compares Aziraphale in his winter wear to a plump little bird and it’s cute imagery.)

 BONUS

55. Ineffable Bureaucracy Drabbles – Shift7 (T, the series of short fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are kinda-sorta falling into friendship and being very judicious about it. Lots of paperwork, very orderly.)

56. Ineffable Bureaucracy – @eshnoazot (T and G, a series of longer fics where Gabriel and Beelzebub are navigating a careful arrangement of their own. Still lots of paperwork, of course, but there’s also emotional friction and conflict resolution. Excellent characterizations. Wednesday night Thai and Friendship night is a+++++. Gabriel deffo called a board meeting to talk about his feelings.)

57. A Bentley Sang in Berkeley Square – CastielHamilton (G, the one where the Bentley is sentient and a good, good girl. She is doing her best and I love her. Basically the series from her point of view.)

58. Fairest and Fallen – VitreousHumor (T, the series where Beelzebub and Gabriel encounter each other a few times and Gabriel tries his best to remember their shared pre-Fall history. Poignant, sad, and beautiful.)

59. Observer Effect – SquarePudding (T, the series where the Grigori in charge of recording Aziraphale’s Earthly movements starts to ship him and Crowley and records their romance. The Grigori, Rezathaniel, is a precious baby who needs to develop a better palate outside of “greasy literal garbage” and has 0 chill when it comes to their ship. They’re kind of like a celebrity blogger at this point but watching their character growth in the first story is very sweet.)

60. Soul of Vellum, Heart of Chrome – @29-pieces (G, the one where the Bentley and the Bookshop are sentient and very protective of their owners. This one is going to KILL ME with the plot I wasn’t expecting—Heaven and Hell are hunting Aziraphale and Crowley down again, so the Bentley and the Bookshop do their best to help. They’re doing so good and I’m so proud of them, it’s not their fault things went a bit south. Precious beans. Good, good things.)

61. Real Fire and Brimstone Stuff – @jessikast (G, the one where college-age Warlock helps accidentally summon his Nanny and a lot of things start to make sense. A very sweet story about Warlock getting closure and getting back in touch with Crowley and Aziraphale through the weirdest means possible.)

 H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

62. Broken Hallelujah – @atlantis-is-burning (T, the one where Hastur comes to kill Aziraphale and Crowley and it’s ugly, folks. It is kinda gory and it is injury-ridden and painful, very touch-and-go for a bit. It ends well, though, and Hastur gets his, which is the Best. Tore me up one side and down the other in all the best ways.)

63. Fall Here – @marbledwings (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley are easing into a relationship in fits and starts, and then Crowley gets snatched. This one was AGONIZING to wait for it to update, so be glad it’s complete, because it gets pretty dark for a while. Be warned of torture, though it’s mostly implied and it’s the aftermath that’s dealt with most. It absolutely sticks the landing at the end, and has a great characterization of Michael.)

64. how deep the sand – Handful_of_Silence (G, the series where Aziraphale is trapped in a glass bubble in a wizard’s basement for fifty years and the ensuing aftermath. Feels mostly book-verse, but there are some cues from the show. Intense and realistic and emotional and heavy, drags you through the darkness and you appreciate the light all the more for it. A beautiful story.)

65. you taught me how to love, (it’s me who taught you how to stop) – @clankclunk (G, or the one where Aziraphale comes to find out that you can’t just rush into a relationship after six thousand years of repression. This one is absolutely murdering me. The angst is real. The hurt is real. I’m hoping the fluff and comfort promised in the tags is coming soon because WOW. Has a fantastically haunting view of what happens to angels, who are highly emotive beings, when they fall into depression. And Crowley’s adverse reactions to praise and love are so realistic and painful. Ouch.)

[blahblahblaw18]

I’m byackkk!

Heyy people (by ‘people’ I mean myself and my 3 other followers, of which I am sure 2 are bot accounts) I am byackkk. I know I took a pretty long unannounced break but it’s not like I stopped writing or anything, which btw is never going to happen ‘cause even if I go blind (which, if it happens, wouldn’t be a surprise considering how I’ve been exploiting my poor eyes these days) or lose a limb or get diagnosed with cancer or a brain tumour or some such major thing, I will still find a way to talk to you (again, by ‘you’ I mean myself and the 3 other followers, of which I am sure 2 are bot accounts) probably I will start a podcast or something... IDK we’ll figure that out when I become handicapped.

Anyway, I hadn’t uploaded anything ‘cause a few weeks ago my Ayurvedic ophthalmologist advised me to steer clear of any kind of screen. Why? That’s a story for another day, you guys. Till then all you need to know is that I have some dumb problem in my right eye which is really a pain in the butt, I’ll just leave it there. Anyhoo, because of that prescription, I had to diligently keep most of the gadgets out of my way for most of the first two weeks in November. And then what happened was, my other (non-Ayurvedic ophthalmologist) told me that it was okay to use gadgets and that it doesn’t really make much of a difference to the condition that my eye suffers from. So that kinda opened the floodgates and... I am ashamed to admit this but I will do it anyway... I suffered a relapse, guys. If you don’t know what I am talking about, well, I am an addict... internet addict, to be specific.

Don’t laugh at me guysss. It is a real problem and it is, in fact, worse than any actual substance abuse ‘cause the internet is not illegal, so there’s more chance of it going a) undiagnosed and b) uncured. Yeah so, that kinda took me downhill and before I could even make sense of what was happening, I had wasted even my last two months this year down in some obscure YT rabbit hole. Not a good note end the year on eh? Nope. Not even by the standards of 2020. Anyway, there are still a few more days to go before we finally get to say goodbye to this cataclysmic year so maybe I’ll be able to turn the tables by then. (Pfft. Who am I even kidding?!) 

Soooo, why is it that I find myself out of the YouTube loop (SURPRISE! SURPRISE!) at 1:37 in the morning, sleeping (at least pretending to) in the living room of my grandparents' house on the divan with the fan turned to a genteel speed of 2, wrapped in a warm fuzzy rug (which would have in normal circumstances kissed to sleep even the most insomniac of people) writing this blog? That’s because even though I was on a break I hadn’t completely stopped writing, as I mentioned earlier. I did write some reallly good pieces, at least good by my own parameters, but it’s that, for most of the past few days I’ve either been too sucked up into the YT rabbit hole to find time to type them all here or have been just plain lazy to do so. But this particular night, even as I plopped down on this makeshift ‘bed’, I wasn’t feeling exactly soporific and so I thought since I have no better job and also since I was getting slightly bored of YT (Whuttt?!) I might as well stop kicking then can any further down the road and get down to writing some shit at least. And anyway, is there any better time than the middle of the night for the best of ideas strike the mind? I mean, the bathroom time might seem like a tough competitor but usually I find myself whiling away that time exercising my vocal cords (Yup, I just confessed to being a toilet singer) so, as far as my case goes, it does no better than coming a close second. Also, some really good Backstreet Boys songs were playing on my Spotify shuffle in the background so it would have been really foolish of me to resist the urge to write.

An idea is quite literally like a piece of shit, it doesn’t care about who you are, where you are or what you are doing. Once it has decided that it wants to squirm out of you, then it very much will get what it wants and find it’s way out. So who am I to say no to it?

25.12.20

IndiraLakshmi

[spins-ter]

Hi’ya! Long time no fic? This one’s gonna have multiple parts, dunno how many. This first bit is really just a bunch of fluff to build up the next part; soft, warm moments that make me feel fuzzy thinking about. I hope it has the same affect on you? ‘Nough rambling, here’s the fic!

~-♡-♡-~ 

Best Friends Forgotten

Spinel x Quartz Reader - Word Count: 1,790

[Y/N] = Your Name (Gem name), [Y/NN] = Your Nickname

~-♡-♡-~

You were just a quartz soldier, and not a very important one. The only reason you were in Pink Diamond’s garden was because you had been ordered by her to keep it managed while she was gone. Whatever. It was easy work, just keep the plants alive and make sure nothing becomes overgrown. In fact, it was too easy. The days slowly became monotonous. Trim this plant, water the next. You would try to talk to her Spinel, but she just stood in place and hummed a basic response.

You were moving around the garden, just preparing what you would need to care for the garden and the structures inside it.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

You were tending to the plants, and there were a lot. Your eyes moved to the stationary Gem, longing for help.

“Do you want to help me?”

“Can’t.”

You were lazing around, bored out of your mind.

“I know a good game, wanna play?”

“Already in one.” You huffed, not understanding how she could just stand there.

“Aren’t you bored?”

The Gem just fidgeted in response.

~-♡-♡-~

You eventually got her to look at you when you spoke and give you more than a none to three word answer. She seemed to appreciate the company, growing more and more tired of the game she found herself stuck in as centuries passed. And for you, it felt comforting to finally have someone to hold a conversation with. You were tending to the flowers as a thought crossed your mind.

“Do you have a favorite flower?”

“The blue ones.” Spinel hummed in thought.

“The cornflowers?" You hummed back. "You’re gonna have to be more specific, dear.”

“No, the ones with five petals.” She paused as you just stared at her in confusion. “Here uh.” She stretched an arm, not wanting to move from her spot yet, and pointed to a patch of forget-me-nots. “These ones.”

“Ah, I see. They are lovely.” You fight back any second-hand pain from the irony.

“Yeah.” Spinel hums a tune. You keep note of her words.

~-♡-♡-~

Around the 2,000 year mark, you finally got Spinel to move from her spot. She was very wary, but you convinced her that Pink Diamond would be fine with her taking a break from the game. In truth, you had accepted that Pink would never return. 2,000 years with no word? There was no chance she was coming back.

~-♡-♡-~

You hummed patiently as the pink Gem made her way to you. She was slow and moved a bit stiffly, due to still wanting to stay stationary and it having been two millennia since she had last moved.

“Come on Spinsy, it’s fine. You can help me take care of the forget-me-nots. They are your favorite, right?”

“Yeah,” she croaked cautiously, “it’s just been a long while.”

Eventually, she got by you and sat down, giving a small sigh.

“There ya are. Feels good to move, don’t it?” You purred and plucked a few flowers from the patch. She giggled lightly as you placed them in her heart-shaped buns.

“Yeah, it does. Now, how d’ya care fer them?” You could feel a strange emotion swell in you as she tilted her head to the side with curiosity.

“Well, I’m going to clip off any dead flowers. You can water them, yeah?” Spinel squinted her eyes a bit in response.

“Yeah, I think I’ve seen’ya do that…” She looked away, humming in thought.

“Here, I’ll demonstrate.” You held Spinel’s hand and she followed you as you went to get water.

“There,” you huffed, handing the now filled watering can over to Spinel, “now that it’s filled, we can go back and you can water them.” Spinel’s eyes glistened with excitement and the strange emotion panged through you again at the sight.

You showed Spinel how to water the forget-me-nots when you made it back to the patch and failed to stifle a purr when you paused to watch her. It was kind of like a game to her, and she enjoyed the activity.

Spinel opted to help you with the rest of the flowers, and you were thankful for it. It gave her something to do and lightened your workload. When the two of you were finished, you looked at her warmly.

“Hey, if you want to play a game, we can. You can even choose.” Spinel gave you a shocked yet joyful look and you instinctively smiled at the sight.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” You didn’t remove your soft gaze from the ecstatic Gem. “You were a lot of help. Only fair I let you choose something fun that you want to do.” Spinel giggled in response.

“Okay!” She jumped up and ran a bit back before stretching an arm to tap you. “Tag! You’re it!”

~-♡-♡-~

You wanted to leave to get word of what was happening, why Pink Diamond had just ditched, but you never did. You didn’t want to leave Spinel alone. You had grown fond of her and knew your presence was keeping her happy. Once she had started moving around the garden, you tried talking her into leaving with you, but she never wanted to. So the two of you would be stuck there until some form of news reached you.

~-♡-♡-~

As time went on, you noticed the dust and dirt accumulate on Spinel, and you ached at seeing the neglect reflect on her appearance. Her heart buns slowly became unkempt and her appearance slowly dulled. In response, you wetted a cloth you used to wipe down statues and called Spinel over. She was taking care of some flowers, and hummed when she got up to you.

“Yeah, [Y/N]?” The Gem smiled as she responded, as she always did when around you.

“I… uh…” You stuttered, suddenly embarrassed by what you were going to do. You closed your eyes and huffed to calm down. “You’re lookin’ a bit dirty so I… I’m gonna wash you off, okay?” The confused look Spinel had gave you melted into a warm smile.

“Oh, okay!” Spinel knelt in front of you. You sighed, glad she seemingly didn’t understand why this would embarrass you. You understood that gems could be sensitive, having one yourself of course, so you decided to start with hers to get it out of the way.

“Alright, this might feel weird.” Spinel tilted her head slightly at your words, but gasped when the cloth touched her gem. You paused, fearful of her reaction, but she just stared at you. You slowly began to rub the dirt off her gem, making sure she was comfortable. Spinel leaned into the contact, and you could feel her arms slowly wrap around your waist as she rested her head in the crook of your neck.

“Mmmnnmm…” The Gem purred and you smiled, once again feeling a strange emotion pang in your gem. You rested your head on top of hers as you slightly zoned out, rubbing the cloth in circles on Spinel’s gem. When you zoned back in, she was still clung to you and humming. It was as if she was unconscious, and she barely even reacted when you shifted.

“Hey sweetie,” you purred softly to her, “can you get up, I still gotta wipe the rest’a you down.” Spinel twitched slightly in response and slowly lifted her head to look you in the eyes.

“Hmm..?” A drop of drool rolled down her chin and her eyes were squinted. You giggle silently, the Gem looked so ridiculous that it was adorable. She hums as you wipe her face.

“I’m gonna need you to get up so I can wipe you down.” Spinel nodded and unwrapped you. Leaning forward, you placed a brief kiss on her head. You saw her completely flushed face as you pulled away, giving another soft giggle as you begin to wipe her, beginning with her neck. She was clean and you were starting to comb through her buns with your fingers to put stray strands back in place when she spoke to you.

“Hey, promise not to tell Pink this, okay?” You paused as Spinel spoke to you.

“You got my word, sweets.” You purred your response, and the pink Gem fidgeted slightly.

“I may’ve been made for Pink,” she began, her voice low with embarrassment, “but you’re my true best friend.” You stroked her hair in response.

“‘N you’re mine, as well.” Spinel beamed at your response. “Now let me fix your hair. Whad’ya want to do when I’m done?” Spinel paused for a moment.

“Can’ya hold me? Kinda like earlier?” You smile warmly.

“Of course.”

~-♡-♡-~

It had been roughly 5,000 years since Pink had left at this point. You had long since accepted that she would never return, though Spinel still held a small hope that she would return. Until then, you kept her company. And with every passing day, Spinel became more attached to you. Much more than she would ever want to admit. She would spend most of her time by your side, offering to help with any task, playing a game with you, or asking for physical contact. It would be a lie to say you weren’t charmed by it.

And you had finally found a word for the pang of wonderful emotion that throbbed in your gem when you saw Spinel happy. It was love. And there you were, sat down and holding Spinel as she rested on you. The sharp throb of love radiating throughout your whole being. Although you had gotten used to the feeling, it was still nearly unbearable. You hummed and rubbed shapes into her back, allowing yourself to doze off as well. The feeling was peaceful, moments like this had become you two’s favorite. You were brought out of your thoughts as you felt Spinel shift.

“Hey Spinsy?” You slurred on impulse. It took a few moments before the Gem replied.

“Yeah, [Y/NN]?” She purred, not moving from her place in your lap.

“I love you.” Spinel stayed silent and you panicked as you felt her shudder. You were about to apologize when you realized she had pushed her face into the crook of your neck and you could feel her smiling. Even before you heard her hum, you could tell what she was about to say.

“I love you too.” She wrapped her arms around you as she spoke and you pulled her in closer. You shifted to lay on your back and let yourself doze off again. The feeling of overwhelming bliss you got from her words was intoxicating. You leaned your head over to give her a few kisses on hers, and found yourself drift into unconsciousness soon after.

[vagabcnds]

i have tossed around making this post for months now, gone back and forth with myself and my friends about if it would even be worth posting this. honestly, i don’t know if telling my side of this is going to do any good, but i think it’s time that i added some more information to this whole situation so that even more people can see that our friends (and i use that term with as much sarcasm as possible) @seattlehqrpg​ , as well as her other rp @canterlotislandhq​​ , have not changed, and will not change. this is indeed another psa about this woman, but with some more information and one on one conversations with the woman. 

hey hi, hello, so, my name is maig, i’ve been around the rpc for over a decade, and right now you might recognize my multifandom : @hiddenwashington​ . we’re an appless multifandom that i started up two years ago. and over those two years, we have dealt with jasmine, jazzy, jackie, jacqueline, whatever j name she wants to call herself this time, on and off, for that duration. 

and just to clear up some information from other psas, i do not believe this is the same nova/jazzy that was terrorizing groups last year with attacking and fighting admins. we’ve spoken with j multiple times, as well as jazzy/nova, and honestly i can tell for sure these are not the same people. unfortunately, there is more than one bad egg in the rpc.

i have a ton of screenshots, so forgive me for not using them all. a link to a google drive will be at the end of this, for all of the screenshots i have of stolen asks, interactions, etc. but i’ll just be using key information for this specific post. or else we’ll be here all day.

when we first encountered j (we’ll just use “j” for now since she focuses on whatever name we call her more than the content of the psas. and all her aliases start with it idk), we thought she was just another person who wanted to join but sort of went about it the wrong way. we first got an anon on the main, asking if our current ginny (that being me) would be willing to give her up. because j wanted to play her. 

we had gotten an anon asking about if we were welcoming towards people with social anxiety (or something like that. it’s been two years now since this all happened so specifics are a little fuzzy. like i said we’ve been dealing with her for so long.) i pretty much hit her with “i’m not willing to drop her because i still want to play her but hmu on my character account and we can chat about other characters for you to play”. i had no idea that answering it would lead us down this rabbit hole i’m writing about today. we sorta chatted, she kinda just rambled to me about how she wanted to write someone not like her so she could have a challenge. valid. i tried helping out, i didn’t really know what fandoms she was into so i said what i could and then went onto the main. when i got back onto my account, she had taken it upon herself to critique my portrayal of ginny, asking if she would ever say ‘dick’. she kept messaging me, sandwiching that comment between other questions. i told her i didn’t appreciate unsolicited critiques. i tried to move past it but she kept at me about it. telling me she hadn’t read the books in 10 years. and only read one. the last one, in 3 hours. idk overall it was a weird conversation and i sort of thought that was the end of it. 

honestly, i’m not gonna spend a TON of time on this already too long psa going on about every interaction we had with her, every crazy thing she said. most importantly, we accepted her in, thinking she was just a little wild but us talking to her covered it. she ended up going in active over easter or spring break or something, wanted to take up another character, we told her to wait to pick her activity up. ya know, standard admin business. and then she started attacking us. telling us we didn’t care about her, about what she went through not having a computer or whatever. she started sending us anons about how her friend stole her money and we don’t care about her and we all hate her so why should she stay. it was kinda insane. again, check the google doc for all that. she ended up leaving, we got some anons about how she never joined other rps because of admins like us. just random things here and there, some anons about how dare we talk to people like we did. just random shit that really only she could come up with. but we had an rp to run, lives to get on with, tv shows to binge, idk fam. life goes on. 

honestly, we sort of forgot about this whole mess for like close to a year? that was when we started getting ims. from her. we knew bc it was the same accounts as before. she uses the same ones over and over, it’s easy to keep track of her. it’s sort of why we never felt the need to bring anything up, we always thought she was just stealing from us and we knew when it was her and when to refuse to accept the questions. this is where we enter phase two of hidden’s journey with “j” : the thief. 

this is one of our earliest encounters. before she started sending them on anon. 

(for some quick context, she would send us questions for fcs, ask if a character was open and then go around trying to poach our members for her group)

tw suicidal thoughts for this next picture 

honestly this goes on for like 10 more pictures, so instead of spamming here, the full conversation is in the google drive under the folder : a fight that almost was

she eventually goes on to call me out as the admin talking to her, i tell her again to message me off the main so that we could get back to actually admining our group. she hits me up, calls me “a cute ginny mun”, and then proceeds to ask me to help her fill out Her Own Application for ginny for her own group!! 

the tiktok video of “did a full one eightyyy” is all that is going through my head from this specific encounter. 

anyways. this is when the stealing really amped up, for not just us, but for the entire rpc. around this time, we had stupidly let her back into the group, i had wanted to keep my eye on her personally. see what she was stealing from the inside. idk i was dumb. this is also around the time the first psa about her came around. 

enter, phase three. it’s similar to phase two, but this time, “j” must tell everyone she is in fact Not A Thief™

so, during this time, it was around may of last year? while she was in the group, she started stealing more, we were catching her in the act, and we eventually had to kick her out of hidden. it’s not really a shock but ya know. gotta do what you gotta do. 

she was going by jasmine at the time. anyways. this is also before her current group @seattlehqrpg​ , when she still had @manilahq and @forgottenfriendshiphq or whatever she changed that too. she was getting a ton of “hate” over there. mainly anons telling her to stop stealing from other creators. valid. 

anyways, she would blame us for all of the stealing, that we were the true thieves. idk we were her scapegoats for a long time. i can confirm to you all now, i have never, nor have any of my admins, sent her any messages to steal fcs or anything to “attack” her. honestly we try to forget she exists but she just makes it so hard to ignore her with all of this. 

anyways, this has been our song and dance with “j” for a while now. we get an anon, we answer, she steals from us in a matter of hours. i’m sure everyone can attest to that similar situation. i mean, here’s just like a couple instances. i have hundreds in the google docs, dating back years. this behavior doesn’t change.

i mean, she has even gone as far as to steal our plot. sure, it’s not exactly original. every multifandom somehow brings all these characters to a city by magic or something. but the mention of the witch, the alternate universe city, the memories. it just all around reads plagiarism. 

so, check the google doc for more evidence i guess if you really need to! 

but, some things we’ve noticed, beyond her just stealing asks and plots and EVENTS ??? AND NOW TASKS ??? check out this post for the tasks, and this other psa for the event. because that shit is so fucked. 

she has also straight up stolen replies and claimed them as her own. my friend and fellow admin, was in her rp for a hot minute, and played pacifica northwest. (some information is crossed out for privacy) this was from us talking about the plagiarism, of her stealing from my friend while “j” was in hidden, which we both admin.

this is her post

and this is "j”’s, while she was in hidden.

i mean, same gif and everything friends. 

she constantly goes on about how she doesn’t look at other rps, how she doesn’t have time, that she’s running five other groups, but honey, we’re running those groups for you with all the stealing!! i mean, just as further proof that she is constantly looking at other groups, including hidden, to an obsessive amount. a member left her group (who then went and joined us we believe), and this was her unfollow for them. (i feel so sorry for that member to be called out like this?? how uncomfortable do you have to make your former and current members???)

and hidden’s character count that same day ??? coincidence, i think not.

listen, this isn’t meant to stir up more drama, i know it will and that’s kinda why i put this off. everyone had sort of said what needed to be said? it didn’t feel necessary to repeat the same shit we all knew. but with more of this happening, with her stealing plots, tasks and events. it felt like this was the time to strike, to get this awareness back up. she needs to stop, and if we all ban together, maybe we can stop it? i don’t know. but i have hope that this can all change if we have each other’s backs. 

this has been hiddenwashington’s side of the story, i’m sure there are still more groups out there with stories or stolen asks. and i am sorry to anyone who has had to deal with her. but just, do yourselves a favor and look out for anyone with a j alias, 21+. she/her, from pst. who also uses “RPG” a lot. 

a lot of this stuff is old, but she’s still doing this in @seattlehqrpg​​ i just grabbed these screenshots because it’s what i had on hand. but anyways. here is the link to the google drive with all of our screenshots we have complied.

if you have any questions, comments, concerns, what have you: my inbox (including anons), ims and everything are open and i am more than happy to chat!! please come talk with me about anything!!!

stay safe, and thanks for joining me on this season of To Catch a Plagiarizer.