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#believe the vibe when you feel it man
hotmess-exe · 2 years
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every now and then i'll have the strong, very loud, insistent thought/reminder that VIBES ARE REAL
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nachosncheezies · 26 days
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
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and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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toxintouch · 2 months
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how do you think the lis would respond if mc sheepishly asked if they could fondle their tiddies? (even mhin, even though i KNOW they'd shank a bitch.)
Here ya go, Anon!! :3 They pronouns & non-specific language/MC used. Suggestive, but no other warnings.
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AIS:
Pretends he doesn’t hear them.
“Hmm?”  He holds a hand to his ear, a toothy little smirk on his face, his scarred eyebrow raised.  The way he’s making direct eye contact is an unmistakable challenge.
“You wanna what now, Sparrow?” 
He knows exactly what MC said and they can tell.  He just wants to see if they'll say it again.  They didn’t sound so sure about whatever that request was just now…
His smirk grows when– (if?? But c’mon he’s so clearly saying yes, please) –
His smirk grows when they don’t back down.  He spreads his arms out in invitation, haori splaying open.
He’s patient for as long as he can stand once they get their hands on him but it isn’t long before he finds himself grabbing them by the wrists, pulling them closer.  Pressing his palms against the back of their hands to encourage them to make full, firm contact.  Haven’t they been warned?  He’s awfully greedy.
(And: if he purposely presses their touch against his heart for a moment, no one needs to know but him.)
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VERE:
He gives them a blank look– a look unsettlingly similar to his hungry, flat eyed stare.  Though, it’s gone in an instant–so quick they might even be able to convince themself that they imagined it.  One blink and his entire expression is different, his tail swishing elegantly and with a flourish that can only be described as pleased.
“Well,” he purrs, “aren’t you just adorable?  I did tell you to ask next time you wanted to touch…  Very well then.  I’ll reward your ability to follow simple instructions.”  He relaxes luxuriously into the cushions of the divan that he’s resting on.  “Come along, then.  Fondle to your heart's content.  Don’t leave me waiting.”  He beckons to them with a crooked finger, tempting them closer, a haunting echo of their first meeting. 
Survival instincts be damned…he did give them permission…
He breathes a chuckle out as they touch him, his mouth hot against their ear as he buries a grin into their neck.
In the space of another breath, he’s flipped the two of them, leaving them pinned against the divan.
“You didn't think you were getting a single thing for free from me anymore, did you?  Tut tut.  After you treated my generosity so callously before?  From now on, I’ll be expecting payment in kind.  Quid pro quo, darling.”
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KURAS:
He looks at them, eyes crinkled with amusement.  “Am I to take it that your interest is academic?  Studying anatomy, perhaps?  I do have a few select texts I could offer you which you might find quite beneficial.”
The embarrassed look on their face seems to amuse him further, the corners of his lips tugging up as he takes in their expression.
“Of course, the benefits of a more hands-on method of scholarship should not be overlooked.”  He takes pity on them, beckoning them over as he takes a seat on the doctor’s stool, right next to the cot where they first met him.  He neatly removes his coat, folding it and laying it to rest beside him.  Despite their fears, he doesn’t start listing out the anatomical names for things as they lay their hands on him.  His eyes slip shut as they rest their hands on his  shoulders–he’s still so tall, even sitting on the low stool–sliding their hands down, admiring the sturdy form and shape of him.
His own hands come up, clutching around their waist with surprising strength.  His eyes are bright and intense as he looks up at them.  They expect him to say something but he merely squeezes them–Possessively?–
Like he might be able to trap them in this moment with him forever, through will alone.
He closes his eyes again; his grip loosens. His self-control back is back in its necessary place, and he finds himself repentant.
“Forgive me.  You are quite endearing.  I simply find you…difficult to resist.”  He admits.
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MHIN:
You are so correct anon.  Shanked immediately.  But MC bonks their head into Mhin’s chest on their way to the ground, so…  Achievement Unlocked? Or, for MC’s sake, I’ll assume that they have earned a level of trust/intimacy with Mhin that makes Mhin a lil' less likely to get stabby.
Mhin’s eyebrows furrow as Mhin crosses their arms, physically creating distance between MC and their…
Mhin’s cheeks go a little red as they realize how obvious their body language is, their pale eyes darting to the side as they worry about what other things they’ve accidentally telegraphed to MC. How many of Mhin's true thoughts and feelings are they privy to...?  Shaking themself mentally, they quickly snap out of it, pinning MC with a pointed glare.
“If you value your life at all, you’ll never ask me that again.”  Mhin marches away.  “Staying at the Wet Wick–around Leander–has ruined your brain.  You need to get out of that place while you still have some grey matter left.”
. . .
Later, escorting MC back to said Wet Wick, ducking through the lesser known and narrower streets after a long day of following dead ends together, Mhin finds the thought ruining their own brain.  It must be the heat of MC pressed against them in the alleyway, the comforting, all-consuming scent of them, the memory of MC’s flushed face while they were asking Mhin’s permission...  MC’s much braver than them, Mhin thinks bitterly, so much more willing to let themself have what they want, despite their cursed hands.  Mhin sighs, stopping abruptly.  Turning.  Pinching the bridge of their nose.
“Look–you can–”
Mhin feels themself blushing all the way down to their chest.  They open their mouth and close it a couple of times, attempting to articulate what they want.  They make a noise of aggravated frustration.  Carefully–very carefully, and very slowly, so that MC knows exactly what they are doing, they reach for the bandaged hands at MC’s side.  They rest MC’s hands lightly on their chest, shivering as they feel the brush of fingers against their clothed ribs, thumbs pressing into their sternum.  They bite down a noise that would surely make them perish where they stand.  Stars above, how long since–
“...Does your heart always beat this fast, Mhin?”
“Quiet.”  They snap.
Wow Mhin.  Right there in the alleyway huh?  Well ok then. I see what ur about.
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LEANDER:
The two of them are alone in the room at the Wet Wick, just sitting together innocently on the bed when MC asks.
Well–they try to ask.
He hears them start the question and his coat and shirt (and tiddie belt) are coming off before they can even finish.  He gives them a quiet chuckle, blushing as his shirt(s) get caught at his shoulders. 
Though the perfect way it frames his boobs might convince them he did it on purpose…
“You meant skin to skin, right?”  He laughs again, leaning back on his hands and looking entirely too appetizing–is he arching his back a little more than necessary? 
“I don’t mind at all! Though, if you could help me with…”  His eyes crinkle as he smiles at them, head tilted like a puppy, waiting expectantly.
They get up from the bed to help him discard his remaining topmost layers of clothing, standing above him in order to better assist.  His eyes are pinned to theirs the moment the fabric barrier is fully cast aside.  “I…can’t say this is a bad view,” he admits, eyes roving along their form, tongue darting out to wet his lips.  Then, more sincerely: “I’m glad that you asked me for this.  Don’t be afraid to touch, all right?  Nothing bad will happen to me, promise. Remember: whatever you want.”
They find themself feeling along the edges of his scar, tracing the line of it across his pectoral…  His breath catching when they accidentally scratch him a little with their nails (MC is just a little clumsy–that was completely unintentionally, really) is dangerously addictive.
“Ah... Anywhere else you’d like to touch?  It would be a shame to waste this opportunity…”
If they're feeling shy, he could offer a few suggestions.  He really, really wants to help in any way he can. :)
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BONUS!ELYON:   “You can, but I will have to charge.”
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bee-turtle-kind · 2 years
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Scarlet Hollow characters I DO trust with my life and love: the demon stalking you, your cousin everyone hates who has likely committed murder, the abomination of changing flesh and bones that hangs out in the morgue, the possums in my drawer
Scarlet Hollow characters I DO NOT TRUST and never will: sybil. fucking. Local Town Grandma
(Also accurate small town representation)
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silusvesuius · 20 days
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g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
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beevean · 4 months
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the hallmark of Peak Fiction is shoehorning a very serious conversation about a very serious past conflict in an unrelated scene, in the form of snarky banter played for laughs, so that the writer can pretend they listen to audience feedback, while not needing to fully think of addressing the issue and fully sweeping it under the rug because it would be inconvenient to paint the involved characters as dumbasses/vile. Bonus points if it literally goes nowhere and it can be removed from the scene without affecting the flow of the dialogue.
And if it makes me want to eat my own bones because I feel the urge to beat the involved characters to death with a nailed bat, that's just a plus :)
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elegyofthemoon · 4 months
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😊
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longagoitwastuesday · 12 hours
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Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy seems like out of The Onion
#Who knows maybe they'll be amazing like how Tom Hardy is able to pull being an amazing Heathcliff#But I doubt it I've never been into any of their roles much idk#And also#Couldn't they just#Even if they were amazing#Couldn't they just cast amazing people that actually fit the air vibes and look of the characters?#And not just some actors that are popular at the moment of the process of filming?#Besides very popular actors playing very popular characters is always ALWAYS wrong#I don't understand at all#And in 2024 year of our lord or whatever how do you cast a white man as Heathcliff? With all the significance it has?#Have you read the book or only wikiquote?#I think Jacob Elordi is a better fit than some others before him. At least he has some charm and you could believe he could throw a punch#But. Couldn't they just. Cast a man that also has physical presence but that fits the description of the book#and is not the pretty boy of the moment? It's detrimental for such an iconic character that the actor is that well known#and Heathcliff being non white is key. How do you mess that up every time ahfkabdkskd or#This will sprout more obligatory Dev Patel fancast and I don't want to see that either#Dev Patel is also famous and doesn't fit Heathcliff at all in vibes or looks. He is lanky and soft faced#Those fancasts always sit so wrong on me#Won't even talk about Margot Robbie as Cathy. The vibes are all wrong. She could have been Catherine Linton perhaps when she was twenty#But as Cathy? Cathy Earnshaw? All the wrong vibes#Truly like out of The Onion what is this mess#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Weren't they going to make an East of Eden adaptation that also had Famous Actress of the Moment as Cathy Ames?#Why do they always do that? Don't they know it's always shit? ahfkabdkskd#Why do the Dev Patel fancasts sit wrong on me? Because they feel lazy and kinda racist#You know one very famous non black actor of colour and cast him as Heathcliff. Come on. There's more people in the world#There's more actors of colour. There's more Indian actors. Many of them must be amazing and many of them are not famous#and many of them must resemble Heathclif's air and looks way more than Patel. Who is amazing but is not a good choice here#Tbh WH fancasts always kinda give 'Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy' to me haha
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In the last scene in thanks to them, after flapjack sacrifices himself and hunter wakes up, you can. Like. FEEL luz's guilt. As soon as she's sure hunter is alive luz immediately removes herself from the situation. While camilla willow and gus are helping hunter up and checking that he feels okay, luz shuts her eyes and walks away from the group. She refuses to face her friends until they have to go to HER. Even before that, when the gang watched belos go through the portal, everyone else's expressions were of fear. But luz's expression was of resignation and determination.
She cant bear be around hunter. She cant even stand to look at him. Not when she blames herself for what happened to him and flapjack. Hunter would never blame luz for anything, but luz has a habit of taking every event that tangentially relates to her and twisting it to fit her self loathing. If she had helped look for belos better, maybe hunter wouldnt have gotten possessed. If she hadnt teleported to grab belos, maybe flapjack wouldnt have been close enough to get caught. We the audience know luz couldnt have stopped belos, but to her is just another item in her long list of mistakes.
Judging by her expression when hunter comes up to talk to her, luz is HORRIFIED at the new scars that belos gave him. (That she "let" belos give him) And i cant help but wonder how this new guilt is going to eat at her for the next two episodes. On top of the belos thing, the guilt she likely still has about leaving her mom and everything that happened with eda in the s1 finale, and everything with king, now one of her best friends (and family member she said shed protect!) has lost his palisman because of her. Every time luz looks at hunter shell be reminded of how he was hurt because of what she thinks are her mistakes.
Idk if theyll explore this in depth or even mention it because luz already feels really guilty about everything else and thats already going to take the whole finale to unpack. But this is one more thing for luz to tear herself up over and i cant wait to see how that goes
#the owl house#toh#shut up pandora#luz noceda#hunter toh#hunter noceda#thanks to them#i wonder if luz thinks hunter is mad at her for the possession thing#hunter would literally never be genuinely mad at luz for anything this serious#but i can see luz thinking oh i didnt believe him about seeing belos so he ran off and got possessed#and once he got possessed i teleported his palisman right to his palisman eating uncle#and even hunters 'inspiring speech' can be twisted by her even thouh he was obviously trying to make her feel better#when hunter said lets fight back for flapjack he meant like in flapjacks honor and maybe like a revenge thing#luz is somehow going to twist it into oh you were the reason flapjack died so you have to defeat belos to make up for it#even during the belos fight when luz teleported to him its giving misplaced guilt vibes#like yes her friends are all fighting so she wants to help#and yes luz is a certified nerd of course shes going to hug her brother and do the 'i know youre in there!' thing#but teleporting up to the goop man and grabbing him? its like she wants to get injured#she blames herself for hunter getting possessed so she thinks she shouldnt stand aside while her friends fight belos#and if anyone should risk getting injured to do the "i know youre in there' thing it should be her#luz babygirl you are SO mentally ill i cant wait to see you get iller#calling it now luz is going to sacrifice herself to save her friends and family and get horribly injured like eda and king in past seasons#she wont die ofc this is a tv y7 show and dying does nothing for her character arc#but she will suffer a LOT before camilla eda and amity can do the 123 combo of 'stop blaming yourself for everything and go to therapy'#*luz voice* hunter dana said its MY turn with the angst and wump#poor luz now she cant even be mentally ill with hunter anymore bc she might think hes mad at her#and one of the things shes mentally ill about is about him so he cant reflect that at her anymore#whos she going to be mentally ill to? herself#and itll keep going until she snaps i tell you
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Plot aside, I'd forgotten just how charming the animation of Lupin Zero is
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Btw I’ve started playing the funny stars and time game. The the one about the loopty loop and the white diamond ass shit
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blujayonthewing · 3 months
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had an unexpectedly visceral response to a haha funnie video of sam reich telling brennan about how he thinks nat1s are better than nat20s because failure is so much more interesting, and brennan, obviously, being like 'OH you like failure? sam likes failure?? I wouldn't have guessed?? do you like it so much you'd rig a whole gameshow to make winning impossible???? HUH. WHO KNEW'
and like man I dunno, just, something about the specific intersection of having spent my entire life trying as hard as I know how and it still never being good enough and failing everything I touch no matter how important it is or how much I care about it, but also what it's like feeling like you're getting singled out and then punished for being good at something, how frustrating it is in dnd when the DM manufactures a failure out of what should have been a clear success because, well, you're just too good at perception but I thought it'd be more interesting if that ambush happened anyway haha, how it makes me feel like a whingeing spoiled child if I point out that doing a good job and being rewarded with success just fucking feels good, how at a certain point if you're too smart or too good at something people will start getting lowkey mad at you for it
and like maybe it'd be one thing if it was just 'oh yeah I love it when trying your best is frustrating and unfulfilling and never good enough' OR 'hey if you know too many bird facts too many times then everyone's gonna be gunning for you to get taken down a peg about it you smug clown bitch' but man it had to be both
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anotheruntitledsong · 6 months
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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mydr3aminvi0let · 4 months
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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apocalypticdemon · 10 months
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being friends with someone who constantly throws pity parties for themselves is fucking exhausting.
#this isn't about anyone that follows me here or that i follow here.#but i have a friend in a group where just..... every time someone says something good about us as a group#they feel the need to put themselves down on main and interrupt the conversation.#it's fucking tiring.#the comment was 'i can't believe we're all academics' and i responded 'it's wild but great'#and then they just go 'i feel really dumb but i guess i'm an academic sometimes' and then the convo gets derailed#like the two of us were literally celebrating that we're all nerdy academics together but now it's managing their emotions on how stupid-#-they feel.#i am so tired. this happens all the time.#i get it. i get it. when i had horrid self-esteem (as if i don't have that now) i felt the need to do this#but like. it's not productive and it's killed the vibe. and i wish they would knock it off but it's unfortunately a pattern of behavior#that happens all the time. and i wish i knew what to do about it bc it's getting on my nerves.#like i said. nobody here is doing this. this is a different person. if you think it's about you No It Isn't#(and if you think you know who i'm talking about no you don't)#idk i just wind up in the position of talking them down all the time and trying to steer them in a more positive direction#and i'm running out of energy for it and it's wearing on me.#they're fun to talk to sometimes but i think over the last few years i've turned into their therapist friend.#'how do i ask someone out' 'do i drop my crush bc i haven't confessed and they aren't acting the way i'd hoped'#'why do i feel like shit all the time' idk man stop fucking asking me#i'm not cut out for this. One Single Class stressed me out so badly i wound up in therapy again. like. i'm Unqualified.#and i'm dissatisfied that i'm stuck in this role and idk how to get out of it
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imwritesometimes · 2 years
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really wrestling with "writing fic is my hobby and I do it for fun and sharing it is fine and fun why shouldn't I share something I had fun doing" and "writing fic is a hobby sure but it's really only fun for me there is little point to actually sharing it with anyone though and therefore very little point in actually writing anything anymore" today 🙃
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