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charles-leclerc-official · 10 months ago

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2024 Monza Grand Prix Race Analysis

Charles brought home his second career victory at Monza with one of the most impressive drives of the season. Let's take a look at exactly how he pulled it off.

Table of Contents Ferrari - Charles - Strategy - Tyre Management - Data Analysis Carlos Mclaren - Team strategy - Oscar - Lap 1 overtake - Lando Other moments and drivers of note Final Thoughts

This analysis is goign to be very Ferrari and Mclaren focused, because they were the main teams of interest. There are a few other mentions, but the competition at the front of the field is where the bulk of this analysis is aimed at.

Ferrari

Ferrari brought a few upgrades to the SF-24 this weekend. The most notable of which was a new floor. The floor was meant to address some of the problems previous upgraded floor specs had introduced to the car in previous rounds. Given the results both drivers saw it is safe to say that Ferrari seem to be back on track with a competitive car. The Ferrari was very close to the Mclaren on speed this weekend. Which is looking promising for a competitive from field in the final races of the season.

Charles qualified P4 and finished P1. Carlos qualified P5 and finished P4.

Charles

It’s one thing to win at Monza once behind the wheel of a red car, but to do it twice? Well that’s called building an unforgettable legacy.

Charles brought home his second career win at Monza, with one of his best performances this season and indeed another career highlight.

There were quite a few things that went into this win. From an excellent lap one overtake, to masterful tyre management Charles really reminded the entire grid what he's capable of with this drive.

There is a lot of strategy and data to get to, so we are just going to dive in!

Strategy

The strategy of both Ferrari and Mclaren were the deciding factors in this race. There are a lot of little details and key moments so I going to present this in a timeline of events.

First, Monza was hot, while ordinarily this race is a pretty straightforward one-stop, teams were anticipating needing to do a two-pit stop strategy going into Sunday, due to the high tyre degradation observed in the hot temperatures. Both Ferrari and Mclaren seemed to have planned on a two-stop as their base strategy.

Second, with George starting in P3 it was assumed he was not going to hold that position. The Mercedes was not handling the heat well, and he was not going to hold third for long. Ferrari and Mclaren seemed to both have assumed this. And this was a correct assumption.

With that in mind, it's lights out and away we go!

Lap 1

On turn 4 Charles took advantage of an opening Oscar exposed when he passed Lando. Lando didn't close the gap quickly enough and he was more focused on Oscar, so Charles had the opportunity to overtake. So right off the bat he made it from P4 to P2.

George also went off at turn 1 due to a lack of grip and that was where the other place came from.

Lap 15/16

On lap 15 Lando pit, undercutting Charles and gaining a place back up to P2.

On lap 16 Charles pit in response to this undercut. This was to try to save something against Lando who had just undercut him. It’s an automatic reactionary strategy call. Charles wasn’t pleased with this from the team as he felt the tyres had more in them. I think that the call to box here while not strictly necessary it wasn’t bad either as allowing Mclaren the chance to get further ahead on hards was not going to be good, given the rate at which the mediums were degrading.

This pit was really the deciding moment of the race though at the moment it felt like it wasn’t in Ferrari’s favor. Ferrari said they always had considered the possibility of a one-stop, they knew the car and drivers were capable, but with the temps it was a little iffy before they saw how the hards performed on race day. Charles making that early pass really set them up to benefit even more from this strategy.

The option for the one-stop was discussed on radio as early as lap 11. And I think a lot of the waffling over the radio after that first pit about strategy was running interference against Mclaren. Ferrari were trying to make sure they two-stopped while they stayed on a one-stop.

Lap 33

This was the lap where the race changed. This was where Mclaren revealed they were going to stick with a two-stop, and this was where Ferrari decided that Charles should one stop.

Charles was told to box opposite Mclaren. At this point in the race it was unclear if Lando or Oscar were going to box first, both were experiencing graining on the hards.

But then Lando pit. This gave away Mclaren's strategy, and also I think Ferrari were expecting Oscar to pit first. They were trying to trick Mclaren into pitting Oscar first over the radio, but Lando was struggling more and Mclaren are always reluctant to give up the lead of the race even for a bit.

On lap 33 Oscar was informed that Lando pit, and also Oscar reported the graining on his tyres was getting worse very quickly.

Charles was told to build on his delta by speeding up, I think to try to make it look to Mclaren like they were not trying to conserve and they'd also do a two-stop.

I will cover a little more on this specific stint in the data analysis section.

But the important thing to note is that this is the lap where the strategy was decided by both teams, and effectively Mclaren's fate was sealed.

Lap 39

On lap 39 Oscar pit and this was when Mclaren's chances were over. They couldn't stay out longer and had to commit to the two-stop even though it was clear that was going to lose them the race. Their car and drivers were not able to handle the graining.

This was also the lap when Ferrari reaffirmed the strategy choice for the one-stop with Charles.

Checkered Flag

Charles ran the remainder of his hard stint pulling off effectively perfect lap times for 38 laps. He didn't see any drop in performance in the tyres, and held the lead of the race comfortably after Oscar pit on lap 39.

This win came from three factors. 1) Charles' brilliant overtake on turn 1 gaining him several places up the field 2) Good strategy calls from Ferrari to effectively counter Mclaren 3) Genius tyre management from Charles to get the maximum out of the hard tyres in difficult conditions for tyre deg.

Now when it came to the call to make the one-stop strategy there has been some confusion about who made it and when. Some have asserted that Carlos somehow was the one behind the call to make the one-stop, which is not what happened, and also is not how strategy calls are made in the team.

Here are the radio messages transcribed on the lap they occurred. Note that “Plan B” is the one-stop strategy

*note there are a lot of radios that I did not include as they were not relevant to the strategy call at hand, this is just for simplicity

The thing I think that has been misunderstood about these radios is that Carlos is speaking about plan B for himself. He was going over how to properly cover Lewis in the pits with his engineer, Charles was not mentioned at all. The info that Bryan shared about Carlos with Charles was because if Carlos felt plan B was possible they wanted to ask Charles if he felt the same. So this wasn’t Carlos putting the whole team on plan B, it was him making the best strategy call for himself, which is normal and it was the correct call, but to claim his choice made the decision for Charles is incorrect.

It’s also important for the team to communicate to a driver if their teammate is going to be on a different strategy, as that was a possibility. It’s just information they need to have.

Note that Charles was already considering a one-stop on lap 11, and there was no mention of that plan to Carlos on his end. So this was a strategy Charles and the team were considering much earlier. With the undercut I think it led them to flip flop some on which strategy would be best, but then on lap 33 they locked it in.

However, listening to the full radios, I think that the final choice for Charles to be on the one stop was when they asked Charles to stay out on lap 33, and then asked about his tyres on lap 35. The message from Bryan to Charles on lap 39 was him informing that his teammate was also on the same strategy. This is also further evidenced by the radios in between being focused on building a good delta, setting the target lap time, which was the lap time needed for the one-stop, and also aiding Charles in managing certain turns for management. All of this happened prior to Charles receiving the message about Carlos on lap 39.

Also a very important detail comes from Lando’s post race press statements. When asked when he was committed to the two-stop was when he boxed for the second time. Lando boxed on lap 33, the same lap where Charles was told to stay out. I think that seeing Lando box and confirming that Mclaren were on a two-stop that was when Ferrari locked in the one-stop for Charles. He was not told to plan on boxing again opposite Oscar or anything, which they also knew was coming. Lap 33 was the deciding lap of the race.

I am not trying to discredit Carlos here, but the data/timeline backs that Charles was already on the one-stop strategy before Carlos even said anything. I think the team very quickly switched Charles on the one-stop around lap 33 when they decided not to pit.

Fred

I want to include a few quotes from Fred on the team strategy as well as they confirm what I parsed over the radio as well as the behavior on track.

"It [the one-stop] was a good strategy. We had it planned from the start. We saw the high degradation at the beginning and were surprised, but we stuck with our choices. A bit risky, but it went well. The drivers managed the tires very well, without over-pushing. We made a good strategy like in Zandvoort, but here we also won."

So Fred is affirming that this was their chosen strategy going into the race. It makes sense at this has been a strength for Ferrari all season and Mclaren has not been able to counter the SF-24 and Charles on tyre management. It was especially optimal as most teams were thinking it had to be a two-stop.

"At one point, though, we thought we would go for two stops. Even if we didn’t experience any degradation in the second stint. However, Charles felt comfortable. When we realized that the worst-case scenario was finishing on the podium, we went for it. We said to ourselves: ‘Alright, let’s stay consistent with the lap times and go for it’. Everything went well. I believe Charles had everything under control; he drove perfectly."

This is reflective of the middle when they might have been considering that plan C option that included another pit, likely informed by the graining they were seeing on the Mclaren's and the Red Bulls. This would have been around lap 30-33.

They checked in with Charles on his lap times and he was just a machine on track not wavering, so there was no reason not to. After that it was mind games with Mclaren trying to get them to mess up their pit timing with Oscar even more.

Carlos

Carlos ran a solid race. I think as a final race at Monza with Ferrari this was a good drive. He kept things clean, also pulled off the one-stop, caused a little interference to help Charles at the front. All around a good drive and a good effort with the team.

I would have liked to see him make the podium of course, but with the Mclaren’s on a two-stop his chances of that were slim. Because with his track position he was going to get passed by them on newer tyres.

Carlos struggled more on the one-stop, as he did hit a wall with his tyres on the final laps of the race. Which really highlights Charles pulling off the consistent performance he did on 4 lap older hards.

In spite of all of this I think this was one of Carlos' strongest performances of the season as well. It was a challenging order to do the one-stop and he help his place with it.

Just adding this to be abundantly clear.

“Carlos came up with Charles strategy!”: No, Charles and the team already switched to the one-stop before Carlos’ radios, and also the car behind is not making strategy calls for the car ahead, that doesn’t happen. Carlos was simply communicating with his own engineer about the strategy that would suit him best in his own race, as he should.

Data Analysis

We have some excellent data to examine from this race. And it really informs what was an wasn't possible for certain teams and drivers.

First I want to do a comparison of Charles and both Mclarens, this is probably the most important data comparison for this race.

There are two things to note, first all drivers saw a drop off in performance with the mediums around lap 11. More important is that second stint on the hards. 1.23s as lap times was the target, for both Ferrari and Mclaren, it seems that target lap time was determined to be best for management and speed. So it's not like Charles was going any slower to conserve, no they were all going at the same pace on those tyres, and the Mclaren's just couldn't keep that same pace up without graining. About 15 laps in Lando reported loss on his front left, and Oscar reported the same issues. They were all on the same lap times, so it's not like Mclaren were pushing harder and burning through their tyres faster(that came later) They just couldn't sustain that pace.

I think that the first 10-15 laps of that second stint both teams were feeling each other out, they were trying to set a pace they could sustain if they needed to one-stop. Mclaren experienced graining about halfway through the stint and found that they couldn't' sustain the pace needed for the one-stop in the conditions. Both drivers confirmed this both on the radio and also in post race press statements. This was kind of a game of chicken. Both teams on one-stop pace, trying to see who would blink first and pit. Mclaren blinked, they pit and Ferrari ran away with it. I think Mclaren thought that possibly this was still a game of who could pull off the undercut timing, while Ferrari were trying to ensure Mclaren gave up the places at the front.

You can see in the second hard stint that the Mclaren's really pushed the hards, that is what pushing on them actually looks like. But again at the end of the stint Oscar kind of hit a small wall with them and couldn't keep closing the gap, and it was also too late to make up the final time he needed.

What this really shows is that Charles and the Ferrari were capable of the optimal strategy in the second stint and Mclaren were not.

Quick look at Charles vs Carlos.

This really just highlights the performance of the SF-24. You can see around lap 45 where Carlos had to contend with Lando and that was also around where he hit the wall with the tyres and started to lose performance compared to Charles.

Here is Charles' data on it's own just to highlight the consistency of those lap times, he didn't experience any drop off in performance and even had the tyres left for a little bit of pushing on that final lap. This is really a visual representation of the skill Charles showed on track. At no point was he losing the tyres.

Charles was told a target lap time and he set it for 38 laps straight without fail. And he had a little left in the tank for a slightly speedier lap for the victory.

And here is Oscar vs Charles

At the end on the final two laps you can see that Oscar's pace was good, it was faster, but it wasn't increasing, so he wasn't going to catch Charles. It's unclear if he really burned through his tyres too much to be able to keep closing the gap. But Mclaren needed to find the right balance of giving him enough time to try to catch Charles, but also a window where his tyres wouldn't give out. It may just not have been possible without more conservation, and on that final stint Oscar was not doing any conservation at all.

Ferrari pulled off brilliant strategy playing to their strengths both in their car and in Charles. Even if Mclaren had had better strategy they were not going to be able to effectively counter Ferrari. They had to hope Ferrari made a mistake. And that wasn't happening, not this weekend, not this car, not this driver.

All in all a brilliant race from the entire team. And remember, if it comes down to a contest of tyre management Charles will come out on top.

Mclaren

Obligatory disclaimer you are reading about Mclaren on a Ferrari blog, and you are reading about Monza on a Ferrari blog.

That being said I don't feel too concerned about bias as Mclaren fans are also not pleased with Mclaren's team performance, so it's not just me, the team is actually just not delivering.

Lando qualified on pole and finished P3, Oscar qualified P2 and finished P2.

Now, I will say that Mclaren really were in a no-win situation the moment Charles was on a one-stop. They couldn't do a one-stop themselves so they really were left with no real way to counter. That's just the way it goes when you are up against the best tyre manager on the grid.

However Charles being brilliant does not excuse the continued bad strategy from the team.

Team Strategy

"Papaya Rules"

I feel like everything that can be said about Papaya rules has already been said, but this is the obligatory section in this analysis to say that this is a dumb name and I am not sure how anyone is meant to take the team seriously with code words like this.

Now I have also been saying this constantly this season, but Mclaren seem to really like making me repeat myself.

Mclaren have had strategy issues all year. And this one is interesting because seemingly they started off okay. Lando lost a place to Charles early in the race, but he was able to gain it back with that undercut in the pits. Mclaren specifically have struggled to get their pit timings right with Ferrari.

However.

I think the biggest weakness in Mclaren strategy has been the inability to account for certain possibilities, and also the inability to change plans as the track evolves. They made a lot of assumptions about this race and that led to issues for them. They assumed Ferrari were going to do a two-stop, and didn’t change that assumption until it was too late (even though Ferrari and Charles have literally undermined them before in this same way) I will given them some lenience in that the team did ask Oscar about the possibility (when it was already too late) and Oscar confirmed that a one-stop wasn't viable on his end. But they were also making that determination way too late into the race.

I wouldn't go so far as to say this was Oscar's race to lose. It was Mclaren's race to lose, and as we now know with hindsight, their inability to one-stop really meant neither driver had a chance. I don't see this as a missed win for either driver or the team simply because Ferrari and Charles were just better, and there wasn't an effective counter to a strategy they couldn't replicate with their drivers or car.

Probably the most entertaining part of this race was Mclaren thinking they successfully undercut Charles with Lando to get P2 back. Well, look how well that went over. So even when they successfully undercut they still lose.

Mclaren pit wall: 0 Charles and Ferrari: 3

One Stop a possibility?

The short answer is no. The long answer is that Mclaren asked Oscar if he thought a one-stop was possible and Oscar said no.

Put simply, they didn't one-stop because they couldn't. Neither of their drivers thought they could one-stop with the graining they reported. And they were on the same pace as Charles in that second hard stint. So it's not like they were pushing harder on those tyres, the team wanted to see if it was possible and it wasn't. They just don't have the car and the drivers for it.

Carlos, who is better on tyres than Oscar, and was on fresher tyres than Charles had lost his tyres by the final laps. He is better or matched with the Mclaren drivers on tyre management, and also in the SF-24 which for all the faults the car may have it is the best car on the tyres, and he was hitting a wall. So do we really think that Mclaren were going to fare better? I think not.

Oscar himself said that he was seeing pretty severe graining into his first hard stint and he wasn’t going to make it. You might say “oh but Oscar was driving assuming a two stop, he’d have conserved more if he’d known he was going to one-stop” and this is true, however he was on a similar hard pace to Charles in the hard stint, and he had graining, if he’d have had to slow even more to conserve he’d have lost the place to Charles anyway. Lando also saw graining on the front left about 15 laps into the stint. Both Mclaren drivers reported that the graining they experienced was not manageable and they would not have been able to pull off the one-stop. The team even asked Oscar if he could one-stop and he said no. I think at that point Mclaren knew Charles was going to stay out and realized they were going to lose unless Oscar could somehow make his tyres last.

Furthermore, while a driver who is exceptional at tyre management could have pulled off a one-stop in that Mclaren car, neither Oscar or Lando are really the driver for that. And I have been saying all year if it is a contest of tyre management Charles will win. They might have stayed out lost their tyres before Charles and he passed them anyway.

Oscar especially, he is not as bad on tyres, he’s been improving, but to expect him to have improved to the level that he’d be able to hold the lead of the race for that many laps in those conditions while the car was graining on the fronts at the rate they observed is beyond his capabilities at the moment.

The fact remains that if it comes down to a contest of tyre management Charles will win, it’s just a matter of time. It’s very difficult to counter because they can’t even copy his strategy, he has the skill and a car to pull off something that the Mclaren car cannot. They just have to watch him do it unable to really do much about it.

Oscar

Oscar ran a solid race on his end, and it might have been a race winning drive, if Ferrari had been on a two-stop strategy. Ultimately he didn't gain any places in the end result, but he did gain one on his teammate.

The most notable part of Oscar's race was on the first lap when he overtook Lando to take the lead of the race into turns 3 and 4.

I think the footage is pretty clear, it's a clean pass, shooting for a pretty clear gap.

Lando made a mistake. He relaxed after getting through turns 1 and 2 with the lead, he broke early and eased into the corner leaving himself wide open on the outside. So open that Oscar and Charles had the opportunity to get by. He was not on guard, and you have to be if you expect to hold the lead of a race. He even left that spot open after Oscar passed which was how Charles got through.

Lando also lost some grip into turn 3 and that did not help in his ability to defend against Charles.

Oscar's overtake was fair, clean, and one of his best so far this season.

"Oscar made contact with Lando he was not in compliance with the papaya rules!": No there was no contact, it would have been mentioned on the radio if it was significant in any way. Lando also confirmed after the race that no contact was made. They got close but didn't touch.

"Oscar shouldn't have attacked his own teammate": His teammate shouldn't have left a 2 car opening and gone slow on the entry into the turn

"The team should have given orders for Lando to be ahead": they specifically didn't do that. So that's not a priority.

"Oscar is a bad teammate he should have helped Lando": He wasn't told to, in fact he was told they could race. And if Lando wanted to be ahead he should have defended better. To win you have to beat your teammate too. I can't make Mclaren give Lando priority so unless they change that Oscar can race as much as he wants.

Now, as far as teammates racing each other go I am generally in favor, so long as it's clean. And that is what happened here so I take no issue. I am not a Mclaren fan, I don't care if they should have prioritized one driver over another. However, the team's reluctance to issue team orders is certainly interesting and will likely be a problem again in future races.

The rest of Oscar's race was determined by how he was faring against Charles and Ferrari. I already outlined in detail above how that was not going to end well for him. But he was asked if he thought he could one-stop, he said no he didn't think it was possible. He reported graining and losing the tyres about 15 laps into the stint, at that rate with Ferrari reporting none he was not going to make it to the end. He ran about as good of a race as he could with the strategy that was possible for him.

Was he going to catch Charles at the end? No. There weren't enough laps left, and he pushed the hards too much closing the gap down to 2.5 seconds. They didn't have it in them to continue that.

Lando

Lando's race was determined by 1 mistake, after that he was playing catch up the rest of the race to recover places lost. He lost the lead to Oscar on lap one, and that was due to his own driving leaving a gap exposed long enough for not one but two drivers to take advantage.

He got a good start into turn one for once, and immediately thought he was safe because he pulled it off, he was then easy on the breaks into turn 3-4 and opened up to a move from Oscar that realistically should have been a window for Oscar to take. And if Oscar hadn’t I can promise you Charles would have. He just does not have the ability to defend his position, and makes very rookie mistakes. He isn’t new to this, he’s been driving in F1 for years, that time is meant to be so when he’s in a championship fight he can pull it off, and the results from this year have been weak.

If he can’t defend from his own teammate, who is the one who will race him the cleanest (you think Max or Charles would have been easier on him?) then he can’t defend against an actual rival.

He also lost a few seconds in the pit lane when he hit the sign. Which was just weirdly sloppy even for him. It may be evidence of how bad the condition of his tyres was.

I don't have much to add about his race. I don't think he would have won, as I stated above both Mclaren's were going to end up behind Charles with that strategy.

Other Moments and Drivers of Note

George: George went off on the first chicane because he lost grip. The Mercedes was not handling well in the heat and he was never going to hold on to P3 for long. He had both Ferraris which had better race pace and handled much better in the heat behind him. It was not a matter of if but when. The Mercedes car really struggled with the track and the heat.

Only 4 drivers pulled off a one-stop in the points: Charles, Carlos, Alex, and Kevin.

Drivers outside of the points who ran a one-stop were: Franco, Daniel, Esteban, Valtteri and Zhou. Again I would not take this as evidence it was within the cards for Mclaren.

Red Bull: the red bull car was having power issues and had to operate in a lower engine mode, which compromised the team's race. I think the heat being a factor was part of the issue. The car hasn't been cooling as consistently as past models. Max and Checo were therefore more limited this weekend unable to reach full top speeds.

Final Thoughts

This race reminded us that the season is far from over, Ferrari are back at the front fighting for wins. With 8 rounds to go a lot can change on the WDC and WCC front.

Charles delivered another legendary win, Mclaren are still unable to form a strategy. Would love to see this repeat until the end of the season.

That's all I got, see you in Baku!

#charles leclerc #monza gp 2024 #monza grand prix #scuderia ferrari #lucis race analysis

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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Halcyon - Ch. 6: But, Honestly, Something's Gotta Give

You and Joel review each other's lists. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 5, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Semi-graphic description of masturbation. Mention of drug and alcohol addiction. Mention of past drug overdose. Diet culture type language. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 10.3K

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Hey you!”

You managed to resist the urge to groan when your sister threw the door open, her hip popped against it and a large glass bottle clutched in the hand she’d put in the air in excitement.

“Please tell me that’s not wine,” you said, trying to see the label on the bottle.

“Oh you’re such a buzzkill,” Anna rolled her eyes and visibly deflated a bit. “And no, of course it’s not wine. It’s sparkling cider, heaven forbid a girl wants to do something different once in a while…”

“Sorry,” you said, hands up in surrender as she stepped aside and let you in. You gave her a quick hug before following her toward the kitchen. “How’ve you been?”

“Drunk off my ass and high all the time,” she made a mocking face over her shoulder at you. “Oh wait, no, that’s just what my sister thinks I’ve been doing…”

“You answered the door with something that looks like a wine bottle in your hand and you’ve been out of rehab for all of two months,” you said, voice sharper than you’d really intended it to be. “Think my question was pretty reasonable.”

“You know, a little trust would be nice,” she said, stopping at the counter and pouring the cider into two waiting wine glasses. “Kinda hard to rebuild my life if fucking no one in it trusts me to do it.”

You sighed

“You’re right,” you said, sitting at the kitchen table. “I’m sorry. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.”

You held up a box of candy and shook it, the little squares inside rattling in their paper and plastic confines as you did.

“I brought you chocolate,” you smiled at her.

“Buying my love, hm?” She asked, setting a drink in front of you before sitting down at the seat beside you. You just shrugged as she pulled off the lid, wiggling her fingers over the various truffles before selecting one without looking at the map explaining the varieties. “Well, it worked. I forgive you.”

She bit into the candy and made a face, scrunching her nose.

“Ugh,” she said, holding out the remaining half of the truffle, brushing it over your lips. “Coconut. Disgusting.”

“I don’t want your spit candy…” you leaned away from her but her hand shot forward and stuffed the piece in your mouth as you spoke, making you cough for a moment before you gave up and just chewed it. “You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re lame,” she said. “So we’re even.”

“So,” you said, swallowing the candy. “How are you doing? Really?”

She shrugged, her fingers lingering over the box again as she selected her next piece.

“Fine, I guess,” she said. “I have a job interview next week…”

“No shit!” Your eyes went wide, impressed. “That’s amazing, where at?”

“OK, be less excited because otherwise it’s going to be a letdown,” she rolled her eyes a little. “But, believe it or not, it’s an office job. Data entry. It’s going to be total bullshit but it was a foot in the door which, right now? I’ll take.”

“Congratulations!” You smiled, genuinely happy for her. “That’s exciting.”

She shrugged again.

“Only exciting if I get it. And even then… pretty damn lame.”

“A steady paycheck is only lame until you realize how nice it is,” you said. “I think you’ll like a little stability and independence.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I think you’re right. It just feels weird to be at this stage right now in my life, you know? I didn’t finish college, I have no job experience. I thought my life was going to just always be my life and now it’s not. I’m basically starting from scratch at 29. Less than scratch, I’m already divorced and have two stints in rehab under my belt.”

You shrugged.

“Scratch isn’t so bad.”

“Ah right, my sister in arms, fellow member of the hot young divorcee club,” she smirked, grabbing another chocolate and popping it in her mouth before nodding slowly. “This one’s better, caramel.”

“Not divorced yet,” you signed, rapping your fingers on the side of your glass. “Gale keeps sending over new terms�� I feel like this is never going to end.”

“It can take a while,” she nodded knowingly. “Hell, even when you’re on decent terms it takes a while, take it from someone who knows.”

“Speaking of our exes, how is dear old Joshy?” You asked. Anna rolled her eyes a little but you saw the corners of her lips pull up. “Josharoonie. Joshimiah.”

“Shut up. And he’s fine, last I heard,” she said. “I haven’t seen him in a bit.”

“Really?” You said. “I’m impressed.”

“Not that impressive,” she muttered, taking a sip of her drink.

“Uh huh,” you replied. “Hon, I remember a time that you couldn’t stay away from him for five minutes and I remember him convincing you that oh, no, it’s just a little wine, just a little pot, just a little coke…”

“Yeah, he’s way less hot shit when I’m sober as it happens,” she laughed a little. “God, yeah, I don’t know that I would have made it down the aisle with him if I’d been sober. I was three bottles of wine deep that day…”

“Yeah, I remember,” you laughed a little, too. “That really should have been red flag number one, you had to get hammered to marry the guy. I probably should have tried harder to stop you.”

“Eh,” she shrugged. “Can’t hold it against you. Not like your taste in men was all that great. No offense.”

You just shrugged noncommittally. It was easier than arguing. You weren’t sure why you kept wanting to defend Gale to people. It’s not like he was being especially kind or caring as your marriage dissolved. It wasn’t like he’d been especially kind or caring toward you in a very long time.

But something in you grated at people’s distaste. You were divorcing him, yes, but it’s not like you’d lost all your feeling for the man. You still cared about him. You still loved him. Or you thought you did, anyway. Sometimes, you weren’t sure if it was him you loved or if it was the life you had before that you longed for, the gentle stability of a partner who you knew would put his hand in the small of your back when maneuvering around you in the bathroom in the morning and would program the coffee pot before you went to bed at night. There was a comforting, quiet certainty in knowing the pattern of someone’s scars and where to find them in the dark. You hadn’t had that in a while.

But you hadn’t had any kind of special consideration in even longer, your husband paying you and your wants and needs very little mind as the two of you moved along toward divorce through the final years of your marriage. It was slow at first - curt words and quick frustrations - and then all at once, with raised voices and wounds that cut deeper than you’d realized at the time.

Part of you wondered if Gale would have stayed as he was when you met him if it wasn’t for you. Like maybe you’d driven him to this version of himself, the version that seemed to be vindictive and mean now and had been thoughtless and cold as everything collapsed. Maybe, if you’d been less infuriating or self centered or immature, he’d have remained his brilliant, pensive self. Maybe he’d still have wanted to steal you away into his office to go down on you between classes, your legs spread wide as he pulled your ass to the edge of his desk and plunged his tongue inside of you. Maybe he’d still want to take you to restaurants you didn’t know to eat foods you’d never tried, his hand slipping up your thigh as he fed you your first bite of caviar. Maybe he’d still call you Doll and look at you like you had something worth experiencing somewhere inside you.

Maybe you’d ruined him. Maybe you’d ruined everything.

The oven timer dinged and Anna jumped up, grabbing pot holders and pulling a baking dish out of the oven as you frowned.

“What?” She asked, getting out plates. “I invited you over for lunch, I was obviously going to feed you.”

“OK, yeah, not obvious,” you said. “And I figured that it might mean… I don’t know, sandwiches or something, what is that?”

“Mom’s mac and cheese,” she smiled, proud. You gaped at her for a moment. “What! I was a housewife for years, I did pick up a few skills.”

“You followed Joshamania around on tour for years,” you corrected her. “I don’t think you had the facilities to make Mom’s mac and cheese at your disposal.”

“OK so maybe it’s a new skill,” she said, spooning the food onto plates. “But I’m not totally useless.”

She put the plate in front of you - it was chipped, one of the same ones you’d eaten off of every day as a kid - and sat next to you, tucking her leg below her as she did before the two of you dug into the pasta.

It smelled warm and familiar, a little like your kitchen on Anna’s birthday when you were kids and you took a bite. But you only chewed it for half a second before you dropped the food back on your plate and grabbed the glass of sparkling juice, chugging it as Anna made a disgusted face.

“What did you do to it?” You coughed, trying to get the taste out of your mouth. “That’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever eaten!”

“It said to salt the water!” She coughed, too. “And add salt to taste in the sauce…”

“Did you taste it?” You asked, brows raised. “And how much salt did you put in the water?”

“I don’t know!” She said. “It didn’t say how much to put in. And no, I didn’t taste it, I thought it’d be gross to eat out of the pan I was cooking in…”

“This is what’s gross,” you said before pouring another glass of juice and chugging that, too. “Jesus… that tour bus really didn’t have a kitchen did it?”

“Nope,” she took the bottle and just started drinking straight from it. “But if it did, I’d probably have killed half the band…”

You snorted at that, almost shooting sparkling juice out of your nose when you did. As the two of you regained your composure, you looked at your little sister. It sometimes felt like the two of you had gone down completely opposite paths, everything about you so disparate it was like she was a total stranger to you.

It’s not as though you were related by blood. Your parents had adopted Anna when she was a baby and you were almost three years old, back when their marriage was still functional and bringing another child into it sounded like a good idea instead of total insanity. But you’d have thought growing up together with the same parental neuroses and sharing the same bathroom would have made it so you somewhat resembled each other in the way your lives had turned out.

It hadn’t, though. You were valedictorian of your high school class, went to an ivy league school, got a doctorate and started teaching at your alma mater. You’d married the first real boyfriend you had, the only time you’d ever interacted with a cop was the two times you’d been pulled over for speeding and you could count the number of concerts you’d been to on one hand.

Anna, on the other hand, had finished high school by the skin of her teeth. She’d been in her first semester of community college when your mother died and she dropped out almost immediately, no matter how hard you tried to talk her out of it. She got involved with a protest group for a while before she started following her favorite band on tour. She ended up sleeping with half of them before she wound up married to the guitarist. Your life had been quiet and stable and hers had been free and exciting and yet you’d both wound up back in your home town, divorced and trying to figure out where to go next.

Maybe you were more like her than you realized.

“I think I have the stuff for sandwiches,” she said, shoving back from the table and heading for the fridge. “Because yeah, that’s inedible…”

“Don’t worry about it on my account,” you said, pushing the offending plate away. “I’m going to dinner with Joel in a few hours so…”

“Joel?” She straightened up from behind the fridge door, her eyebrows raised as she watched you. “Wait, like a date?”

“Please,” you scoffed. “It’s Joel. Be real.”

“Right, you’re too straight laced for someone like that,” she rolled her eyes, going back into the fridge.

“No I’m not!”

“Yes, you are,” she said, standing up again and bumping the door closed with her hip. She came back to the table and dropped a Lunchable in front of you. You raised your eyebrows and she glared at you. “Not a fucking word.”

“I didn’t say a thing,” you said, pulling back the plastic wrap lid. “And you know that you couldn’t pay Joel enough to date me…”

She scoffed, opening her own Lunchable.

“I’m not his type!” You protested, resisting the urge to kick her under the table.

“Type schmype,” she waved you off. “Mom always thought you two were going to get married one day…”

“Yeah, because her judgement was always so stellar,” you rolled your eyes, making a little sandwich of meat and cheese and crackers.

“Say what you want about her taste in men but Mom knew you,” Anna said, her tone almost uncomfortably earnest. “You’re so much like her. So, so like her. She knew. And she said it, even after you were engaged to Gale she said it. Because she knew.”

“Well,” you shrugged after a moment. “She got it wrong.”

You ended up staying at Anna’s for a few hours. She told you more about the meetings she was attending, how she liked her sponsor. Things seemed to be going well for her, it was stabilizing. So much better than it had been when you’d decided to come back to Texas a few months earlier. She’d passed out at a party after taking drugs from someone she barely knew. Thankfully, someone she was there with was smart enough to get her to a hospital when she wouldn’t wake up. You’d flown down and sat with her at the hospital, talked to her doctors, helped convince her to go to rehab. For a few torturous hours on the plane ride, you thought you might lose your sister, too. That you’d have no one and you’d be adrift in the world, lost and alone and as empty of meaning as you’d always been afraid you were. You’d decided then that, if Anna lived, you were moving back.

But navigating your relationship with Anna since was a balancing act. Part of you wanted to become her mother, to take care of her and guide her and support her through everything. It seemed safest, making decisions for her since she seemed to be so bad at making them for herself. But you knew that wasn’t tenable, not really. She was fiercely independent, she always had been. She’d rather make all the wrong decisions on her own than have someone make the right ones for her. But being just her sister didn’t feel like enough, not when she was struggling and trying to find her way.

“I hope you and Joel have fun tonight,” she said in a sing song voice as she walked you to the front door.

“You’re obsessed,” you rolled your eyes. “I promise, it’s nothing interesting…”

“You two have been spending a lot of time together for nothing interesting.”

“We’ve always spent a lot of time together,” you said, turning to face her as she stood in the doorway. “He half lived at our house when we were kids if you recall.”

“Yeah, you were in love with him then, too,” she smirked.

“Not even going to dignify that with a response,” you said, not wanting to think about how well your sister seemed to know you. “You know where to find me if you need me, right?”

“Oh gosh,” she huffed dramatically. “Joel’s?”

“Alright, bye!” You waved and Anna cackled.

“Hey,” she called from her door as you went to get to the car. “I’m happy you’re back.”

You smiled a little.

“Believe it or not, I’m happy I’m back too.”

***

“You got everything?” Joel asked, herding Sarah toward the truck.

“Yes Dad,” she rolled her eyes.

“Got your pajamas?”

“Yes.”

“Clothes for tomorrow? Including clean underwear?”

She sighed.

“Yes, duh.”

“Don’t ‘duh’ me,” he said. “You forget stuff you need all the time and I’m not gonna just be at home waitin’ for you to need something tonight. If you forget it, you’re on your own kid.”

“I have everything.”

“Vanessa’s present?”

“Dad,” she stopped and looked at him. “I’m 11. I’m basically a teenager. I have all my stuff.”

Joel tried really hard to not laugh.

“Alright,” he said. “In the truck, you almost teenager.”

She smiled proudly before obeying.

“Can I put on my playlist?” She asked, leaning between the front seats.

“You have to give me the phone then,” he said. “And you have to sit back and buckle up.”

She pulled up the playlist before dropping the phone in his hand and sitting back.

“You excited for Vanessa’s birthday party?” He asked as he started the playlist. “Seatbelt.”

“Yeah!” She said, obeying and buckling up. “Melanie is gonna be there, too, and she was bringing her karaoke machine. Can I get a karaoke machine?”

“You gonna let me use it?” Joel asked, looking at her in the rear view mirror.

“Only if you sing something besides old man music,” she smirked at him.

“I don’t listen to old man music…”

“You listen to old man music,” she said. “You’re gonna tell Aunt Goldie I say hi, right?”

“I’ll tell her you say hi,” he smiled a little. “Even though I figured we’d pretend the world didn’t revolve around you for one night…”

Sarah scoffed and he could tell she was trying not to smile, too.

“The world revolves around me every night,” she said. “As it should.”

Joel laughed and pulled up in front of Vanessa’s house.

“Alright center of the universe,” he said, pausing the music and handing her the phone. “Go, have fun, be on your best behavior…”

“You too,” she said, getting out of the truck before pausing on her way out the door. “Dad, I think I forgot something…”

Joel sighed.

“What do you need, Baby Girl?”

She just laughed.

“I’m just messing with you. Have fun!”

Sarah jumped out of the truck before he had a chance to respond and ran to the door, her duffle bag bouncing on her arm. He waited until she was safely inside and waved to Vanessa’s mom - whose name he could never fucking remember - before he headed to your place.

He hadn’t just triple checked to make sure that Sarah had everything she needed, he’d also made sure he was ready, too.

Joel wasn’t sure why he was so anxious. It’s not like he didn’t see you all the damn time now. It seemed like if the two of you weren’t hanging out you were texting. Even though it sometimes felt like you were getting reacquainted, it was still like you just knew him, knew him on a level no one else ever had. But this was different. He was deliberately owning up to all the things he wanted to change about himself, all the ways he’d fallen short in his life. It was uniquely vulnerable. He didn’t want to go in unprepared.

So he’d made sure he had the list. And that the list didn’t make him sound like a total fucking idiot. He got his truck washed. He made sure he had a pair of pants that weren’t just blue jeans and a clean shirt with a collar.

He knew that things weren’t going perfectly for you, either. That was the whole point of this entire plan, the two of you figuring out your lives together. But you were still you. He wanted you to know him but he also wanted you to know the best of him. Not the shitty things, not the things he was ashamed of. But… you were still you, the only person he’d want to do something like this with. He’d just have to get past it.

Joel took a deep breath and knocked on your door. You opened it almost immediately, putting in an earring as you did. You were in a dress that looked like it had been made for you, skimming over your body, dipping low enough that he could see the curve of your breasts and, for half a second, Joel’s mind went back to the night before in the pool. You’d been so close then. He could feel all of you against him, all your softness and all your warmth - even if your hands were cold. There was a moment he lived in for longer than he wanted to admit, one where it felt like it would have been OK to kiss you, to hold your body tightly to him, to pull you inside and peel off your swimsuit so he could run his hands over the goosebump prickled flesh below. He’d come to that thought, alone in his bed once he was sure Sarah was asleep and he wouldn’t be interrupted. He’d come so hard he had to muffle his moans and he stayed there, cock in his hand as he stared up at the ceiling, as he tried to shove the thought of you away. You didn’t want that, you’d made that much perfectly clear more than a decade before. This wasn’t going to take him anywhere good.

And now you were standing there, in a dress that couldn’t make you look more appealing if it was designed by temptation itself.

God fucking dammit.

“Jesus, Goldie,” he said after he collected himself as much as he could. “Feelin’ a little underdressed here.”

“Shit,” your eyebrows drew together and you looked down at yourself. “I don’t have much that’s dressy, this was from this cocktail event the university wanted to trot me out like some show pony for last fall… I can see what else I have if you’re OK to wait for a minute….”

You turned to go back inside but Joel caught your wrist and you frowned.

“You look great,” he said. “Besides, I know how long ‘a minute’ is in woman getting ready time…”

“Oh fuck off.”

“…and I’m starving. Let’s go.”

You gave him an exasperated look before shrugging into a trench coat and grabbing your bag and gold notebook from the table just inside the door.

“You look good, too, by the way,” you said once the two of you were in his truck and he was heading for the restaurant you’d picked the other day. Joel scoffed. “Hey! I mean it, you do. Should wear something besides jeans and t-shirts or flannels now and then, you clean up well.”

“Next time we hang out, I’ll rent a tux,” he smirked a little and glanced at you, just catching a glimpse of your eye roll as he did. “Polish up my shoes, whole nine…”

“Should just buy the tux,” you replied. “Seems like a smart investment for a man of your profession and lifestyle…”

“Oh, sure.”

“Got all those galas to go to…”

“Uh huh.”

“Awards shows…”

“Naturally.”

“Black tie weddings.”

“You gonna get some nice formal gowns?” He teased back. “Come with me to all these hoity-toity outings?”

You laughed.

“Sure, Joel. I’ll be your back up date to any and all formal events.”

The restaurant you wanted to try was definitely nicer than anything Joel had gone to in a while but it’d been easy for you to talk him into it. He remembered you being more excited about food when you were kids, how you’d watch his mom in the kitchen sometimes when you stayed for dinner or how you’d reach over and steal fries off his tray at the burger place down the street from your apartment when you were so hungry that your own fries weren’t going to cut it. Now, though, it seemed like anytime he wasn’t deciding what you were eating you ate the kind of shit that you scrunched your nose up at in high school. People and tastes could change, of course. He wasn’t stupid. But it didn’t feel like you. It felt like some holdover from that jackass you’d spent the last decade with.

So as soon as you texted him the menu and just said “They have Osso buco!” he was in. He didn’t know what the fuck Osso buco was, he was just excited to see you excited about something that made you happy when he knew you before.

The hostess sat the two of you in a quiet corner, giving you a knowing look, and Joel more watched you pore over the menu than read his own, an intense and serious look on your face as you went through it line by line.

“If I got a bottle of wine, would you have at least a glass?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes from across the table.

“Anything for you, baby,” he teased.

“I hate you.”

Joel scoffed.

“No you don’t. And yes, I’ll drink your alcoholic juice.”

“Good,” you said, looking back down at the menu. “Because the one I really want isn’t available by the glass and I don’t need that much wine…”

“Look at you, all fancy and shit,” he said. “Ordering your wine by the bottle…”

“Almost like we’re grownups,” you said absently. “What are you getting?”

“Why, so you can steal some?” He asked, brows raised.

You looked at him, face serious.

“Yes. Duh.”

Joel sighed.

“You’re the worst person. And I’m getting the spaghetti. Don’t bother calling me lame, I know I’m lame.”

“Well, as long as you’re aware,” you said, looking back at the menu.

“What are you getting, Miss ‘I order whole bottles of wine’ level of adult? That one thing you were excited about? The Oss… whatever the fuck?”

“Osso buco,” you smiled across the table at him. “And probably that…. But it’s probably more than I really need and…”

“Goldie,” Joel cut you off, tone serious enough that you actually, fully lifted your gaze from the menu in front of you. “Don’t let that asshole ruin this. Get the… whatever it is.”

You smiled a little.

“Osso buco it is.”

Once the food was ordered and the wine was poured, Joel put his list next to him on the table and you did, too, your ever present gold notebook sitting in front of you.

“So,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound as awkward as he felt. “How do you want to do this?”

“You first?” You asked, wincing a little.

He nodded and looked over the list one last time before turning it around and putting it in the middle of the table. You leaned over - don’t look down your dress, don’t look down your dress, don’t look down your dress - and started reading.

“It’s not in any real order,” Joel said, cupping the back of his neck. “Just… wrote shit as I thought of it.”

You nodded slowly.

“Throw Sarah a pool party,” you said.

“Yeah,” he laughed a little. “She’s been sayin’ the last few years that she wants a pool party for her birthday but… I’ve just been too swamped to make it happen. Always end up taking her and her friends somewhere like Putt Putt Golf or something, somewhere I don’t have to plan shit, I can just show up. She always has fun but I know she’d like the pool party. I just need to make sure my shit is together enough to do it.”

“Play music again,” you moved on to the next item and you frowned, looking up at him. “You stopped?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Well, no. I didn’t stop playing at home but… Before Sarah was born, there were a few local places I played at sometimes. Back then, it was because I hoped I’d meet some record label asshole who’d sign me. But I miss it. It was fun, playin’ for people. Would like to do that again.”

You nodded, going back to the list.

“Start your own contracting company,” you smiled at that. “Business owner Joel Miller…”

“Future business owner,” he corrected you. “Don’t own shit yet. Not sure I know how to own shit.”

“You’re smart,” you said. “And I’m pretty sure by our powers combined, we can at least Google a lot of this stuff.”

“Probably should have done what you told me,” he said. “Gotten my damn associates…”

“I am right about most things,” you said. There was no smugness in your voice, almost the opposite. Like you were sorry you’d been right about this thing in particular.

“Just didn’t see the point then,” he sighed. “Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.”

“It tends to be that way,” you conceded before looking back down at the paper. “Design one big project… is that a work one?”

“Yeah,” he smiled a little sheepishly. “Figured… I dunno, it’ll take a bit to get my own business going, you know? Gonna keep working for the company I work for now for a bit yet. Should try and make it something I like while I’m there.”

You smiled at him in that way you had, the way that started small but spread fast. It reminded him of the way light started to poke through curtains in the morning, slipping in through a crack, illuminating the things directly around it before they were thrown open entirely and the sun broke through everything, spilling onto every surface, drowning out the darkness quick and sure.

“Good,” you said, still smiling in that wide, open way. “You should like your job, you’re there too much to not like it.”

You went back to the list and Joel took a sip of wine.

“Find a stable relationship,” you said, a little quieter.

The server returned, putting your plates in front of the two of you and you cleared your throat, setting the paper to the side and smiling kindly as the waiter asked if there was anything else the two of you needed before excusing himself.

“OK,” Joel said, looking at your food from across the table. “I see why you were excited now, that looks fuckin’ delicious.”

He reached over and stabbed his fork into the meat on your plate as you gaped at him, appalled. He ate the bite he’d taken, chewing thoughtfully.

“Yup,” he said. “Fuckin’ delicious.”

“You’re such a dick!” You reached over and stabbed your fork into his pasta.

“Hey!”

You ignored him, twirling your fork haphazardly as you tried not to lean into the food in front of you before taking it back across the table. You ate the spaghetti and nodded to yourself as you did.

“Definitely scratch pasta,” you said. “Have to come back here and get some of my own. Or just steal more of yours…”

“If you want pasta, order pasta,” he said.

“If you want Osso buco, order Osso buco,” you replied, fork up and ready to stab his hand if it creeped across the table.”

“Maybe I will, now that I know what it is,” he teased, digging into his own plate this time.

“So,” you said after the two of you had the time to have a few bites of food. “Stable relationship, huh?”

“Yup,” he nodded, taking a sip of wine. “Not sure I even want to own up to the last time I had one of those…”

“When was the last time?” You frowned, picking up your wine glass.

“Can’t judge me.”

“Too late,” you smirked a little. He glared at you and you laughed. “Come on, Joel. It’s me. I always judge you all the time.”

He rolled his eyes and then sighed.

“It’s… been a while,” he said eventually. “But… Haven’t been on more than three dates with anyone since Sarah was about four.”

Your eyes went wide.

“I said you can’t judge me!”

“I’m not judging!” You said quickly. “Just… shocked is all. You always had a tendency to go through them fast but I always kind of figured you’d outgrown that over the years.”

“Well, less fast now and more that women in their 20s don’t really want to play stepmom,” he said wryly. “Never got as far as introducing any of ‘em to Sarah, haven’t bothered really looking since I’ve been in my 30s. But… I dunno. It’d be nice, I think. Have someone to come home to, that sort of thing.”

You nodded slowly.

“What?” He asked after you were quiet for what seemed like too long.

“Can I ask what happened with Sarah’s mom?” You asked, fork hovering over your plate. “I don’t want to dredge anything up but…”

Joel shrugged.

“Not much to dredge up,” he said. “We… well, we were… casual. Real casual. She got pregnant, I tried to do the right thing but she wasn’t really interested in that…”

You frowned.

“Right thing?”

“Suggested we go down to the courthouse,” he twisted the slender stem of wine glass in his thick fingers. “Make it legal. Since we were bringin’ a kid into the world seemed like the least we could do but… anyway. She said no but that she’d try dating me. We didn’t have much in common, didn’t get along all that well for longer than a few hours. Her shootin’ me down was probably one of the best things to happen to me, really. Especially when it came to untangling the legalities of it all when she took off.”

You winced.

“I’m really sorry, Joel,” you said softly. “That… that’s shitty. It really, really is.”

He shrugged.

“I got Sarah,” he said. “Do it all again in a heartbeat for that kid.”

You smiled at that, a smaller, softer smile, one that felt like it was just for him.

“It all worked out the way it was supposed to,” you said. “None of it was a mistake, it was just… Sarah, being inevitable.”

He laughed once at that, smiling a little. He liked thinking of it that way, his life putting itself in just the right order that his daughter could exist. Now, he just needed to put it in the right order that he felt like he was doing something with the rest of it.

“Alright,” he said. “Enough about my shit, let’s see yours.”

You handed him his list back and opened your notebook, holding it to your chest for a moment.

“Remember the lack of judgement I gave you,” you cautioned. “I expect the same back.”

“So plenty of judgement,” he smirked a little. “Got it.

You glared.

“Gimme the list, Goldie.”

You sighed and handed it over.

Joel took half a second to appreciate the fact that he was holding your notebook again. For something that was always with you, it was something he rarely touched and never opened himself. You’d shown him one or two things inside it before but you’d never just surrendered it to him like this. He had to fight the urge to flip to the start of it and read everything he could, try to swallow up every thought you’d had that you thought was important enough to put down on paper.

Instead, he just cleared his throat and started at the top of your list.

“Finalize divorce,” he said, eyes tracing over your letters. “That’s a good one. Where you at in that whole process?”

“I have no idea,” you sighed. “Every time I think we’re close the agreement gets tossed out and we start back over. I swear he’s just trying to piss me off sometimes…”

“Probably is,” Joel said. “He’s a jackass.”

“So you keep saying,” you half smiled at him.

“My only issue with this one is that it’s not something you can really control,” he said, looking over the table to you. “I don’t want you beating yourself up or taking less than you deserve because you’re trying to tick a box…”

“I won’t,” you said. “Don’t worry.”

“Better not,” he said, looking back down at the paper. “Finish book, alright. That one you can control…”

“Kind of control,” you corrected him, a crooked smile on your face. “Sometimes, the words just won’t come and there’s not much you can do about it.”

“Still,” he said. “Got more control over that than anything with fuckin’ Brad…” You shook your head a little, exasperated, but were still smiling. “Have any idea about what you want this one to be about?”

“Not really,” you sighed. “I’ve started a few things but I keep scrapping it. So many outlines for no goddamn reason…”

“You’ll get there.”

“Maybe,” you poked at the meat on your plate. “Or maybe I told the only story I have that’s worth telling. Maybe I’m all used up.”

“You’re not,” he said gently. You nodded a little but kept looking at your plate. “Hey. Goldie. Look at me.” You sighed and obeyed, meeting his eyes, your face frustrated but your gaze sad. “You’re not. You’re…. You’re fuckin’ amazing, you’re gonna make something great. You are.”

You smiled tightly and, for a moment, looking at you was too intimate to do in public. He looked back down at the page.

“Be there for Anna,” he said. “What, like you aren’t now?”

“I still haven’t figured out how to do it right,” you replied. “I just… I need to find the right balance. And I need to make sure I keep up with her, I can’t just… I’m worried she’s going to land herself back in the hospital and I’m her big sister. I need to make sure she doesn’t.”

He just nodded, jaw tight, moving on to the next item.

“Go on a date,” he said, a twinge in his gut that he didn’t want to acknowledge. “Alright, that’s not bad…”

“Yeah, I think I’ll need your help with that,” you said and his head shot up, meeting your eyes across the table.

“What… how?”

“Oh, don’t panic,” you waved him off. “Not expecting you to do it. But I’ve never used a dating app or anything like that, I have no idea how to meet someone now. I imagine you’re an expert…”

“Gee, thanks.”

“What! It’s a good skill to have,” you said. “One that I am painfully lacking. I’ll take all the help I can get.”

He sighed. Because of course this would mean finding you a date. Jesus.

“Yeah, I’ll help,” he said. “Make sure you’re not attracting any weirdos…”

“Not sure that you’re the best help for that part,” you teased. He rolled his eyes. “But… thank you.”

“Yup.”

He went back to the paper.

“Get a cat. Really?”

“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “I’m kind of tired of how empty my house feels but I’m not up for taking care of a dog. And cats are cute.”

“Promise you’re not just gonna turn into a cat lady?” He teased, looking back to you. “Get yourself a dozen of ‘em, use them as an excuse to never put yourself out there.”

“That’s between me and my cats, isn’t it?” You teased back. “Don’t get mad because you’re at risk of being replaced by a fluffy thing who sometimes scratches the shit out of my furniture.”

“Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t scratch the shit out of your furniture,” he said wryly and you snorted. He went back to the list, taking a sip of wine and almost choked on it. He wasn’t sure how he’d missed the last item on the list until now, written in red ink instead of black and circled.

“What?” You asked. He glanced up at you before looking back at the paper.

“Well…” he cleared his throat. “Last one’s… interestin’.”

“Oh,” you laughed. “Yeah… right…”

He put the notebook in the middle of the table and tried to regain his composure for a moment.

“Surprised it’s a priority for you…”

“Well I don’t know about priority,” you laughed. “But, honestly, something’s gotta give…”

“Well,” Joel cleared his throat again. “Have you fucked anyone since Brad?”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t answer.

“Goldie.”

“Joel.”

“C’mon.”

“No, alright?” You snapped. “I haven’t.”

“And you two separated when?”

You scrunched your nose.

“Come on,” he said. “When’d you break up…”

“A year ago last month,” you muttered, not looking at him.

“Goldie!”

“What!”

He lowered his voice and leaned conspiratorially across the table towards you.

“You haven’t had sex in a year?” He hissed. “That’s… how…”

“Hey,” you replied, pointing at him accusingly from across the table. “That is not what I said.”

Joel frowned, his eyebrows knitting together as he watched you.

“What do you mean that’s not…” his eyes went wide as you avoided his gaze. “Goldie.”

“Shut up.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Didn’t I just tell you to shut up?” You snapped. “Come on.”

“So when was the last time you fucked your soon to be ex-husband while you were in the process of divorcing him?” He asked, looking around as though someone would overhear and make problems.

“Well now I really don’t want to say…”

“Goldie.”

“Please don’t make me say it.”

“I’m not dropping this,” he said. “When was the last time?”

“The night before I left Rhode Island, OK?” You hissed, voice low.

“Goldie!”

“Look, it was just like… I don’t know, a goodbye fuck, OK?” You sat back in your seat and adjusted your skirt, looking anywhere but directly at him. “It’s not like I have a bunch of people waiting in the wings, I wasn’t sure when I’d have the chance again, it seemed appropriate…”

“Definitely wasn’t that…”

“Never should have mentioned this…”

“Gonna move ‘get laid’ to the top of the fuckin’ list now,” Joel muttered. “Jesus Christ…”

“It’s not that easy, alright?” You said, actually looking at him now. “I’ve basically been with just one person my whole life…”

“Oh, wow.”

“What?”

“One person?” Joel said, brows raised. “Really?”

You leveled him with a look.

“Joel.”

“I am right here.”

“You know what I mean,” you snapped. “Come on, don’t…”

“Don’t what?” He asked. “Want a little explanation when you say I never happened?”

“That’s not what I said!”

“It’s not?” He said. “Because that’s sure what it sounded like…”

“Jesus Christ,” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Fine, OK? I’ve been with two people my whole life since you apparently want to make sure the notches on my bedpost are the right damn number…”

“So that’s what we were?” He asked, his blood getting hot. “Just a bedpost notch?”

“Don’t do this,” you said. “I’m not relitigating prom night with you…”

“Is it relitigating if we never fucking talked about it to begin with?” He asked. “Because I think that’s just litigating it…”

“Can I get you folks anything else tonight?” The server appeared beside your table, smiling kindly.

“Just the bill,” you said quickly. “Separate, put the wine on mine, please.”

He left and Joel waited until he was out of earshot to continue.

“Why?” He asked. “Why don’t you want to talk about this?”

“Because it was a decade and a half ago, Joel!” You snapped. “We’re in our 30s now! We were 18 years old then, we were kids, what do you want me to say?”

“That it wasn’t nothing!” He snapped. “Because Jesus Christ, if you ended our friendship over nothing, I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do with that…”

“No rush on this,” the server smiled and left the check in the middle of the table.

You pulled your wallet from your bag and Joel got his out of his back pocket and the two of you put cards into the book before the server quickly came back to collect it. You took a deep breath and looked at Joel.

“I didn’t end our friendship, Joel,” you said. “I did what I needed to do and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine.”

“Thanks, y’all, for coming out tonight,” the server dropped the cards and the slips back off at the table. “Hope you both have a great rest of your evening and we’ll see you next time.”

You gave him a tight smile and signed your slip as Joel did the same with his before smacking his pen down with too much force on the table. The two of you got up wordlessly and headed for the truck.

This wasn’t the road he’d meant to go down. He hadn’t meant to bring it up at all but you’d caught him off guard. The thought that prom night hadn’t been anything to you wasn’t something he’d ever considered. He’d always assumed it had been a big deal because of how you reacted. It had been a big deal for him. It had been a big deal before you took off across the country. After that - after it had made him lose you - it was everything. It was everything he’d ever wanted, it was the stupidest thing he’d ever done. It was proof that what he felt for you wasn’t some childish, one-sided crush and it was evidence that all you’d ever be was a girl he’d loved once. The one thing it had certainly never been was nothing.

You sat, arms crossed over your stomach, staring out the window in silence as Joel drove you home, a knot of fear settling in his gut. What if this was it again? What if you just left again? He’d just gotten you back, life felt more whole than it had in years, what if you just moved on?

He pulled into your driveway and put the truck in park before he sighed, looking over at you.

“Want to come in?” You asked quietly. “I got a bottle of tequila that looks fancy as fuck as a gift. We can get hammered.”

The knot in his stomach eased ever so slightly.

“Yeah, alright.”

He followed you inside and you got the bottle from the kitchen, pressing it into Joel’s hand. He went to sit on your couch but you walked past it and he frowned.

“Don’t feel like sitting there in this stupid dress,” you said, lifting one stiletto clad foot and taking it by the heel, pulling it off. “I’ll be back in a minute…”

“Can I come?” Joel asked before he thought better of it. He didn’t like the idea of you being more than just a few feet away in that moment. Like if you were somehow out of his sight, you’d vanish and it’d be a decade before he had a chance to have you back in his life again.

You just looked at him for a moment before you shrugged.

“If you really want,” you did the same thing with the other shoe and Joel trailed behind you to your bedroom.

“Just stay out there,” you called from inside your closet.

“What, don’t want me checkin’ you out?” He said in a teasing voice even though that thought made his stomach clench.

“Joel,” you sounded exasperated.

“Sorry.”

He’d been over to your house plenty but had never been in your room before. It looked like you, though. So like what your room had been like in high school, just more refined. Like you’d grown into your taste in the past few years. The stack of books on your nightstand was orderly instead of total chaos and there was a charging stand there instead of a tangle of chords. Instead of movie posters held up with tape and thumb tacks, there were framed vintage-style prints lining the walls. Your dresser was less cluttered and more curated with little things that clearly mattered to you: a ticket stub and book mark in a matted frame, a wedding picture, a little glazed clay vase that looked handmade.

He went to your dresser slowly, as though what was there might bite him if he moved to suddenly. The wedding picture practically stared him down, the glare of it harsh, like a too bright spotlight being pointed directly at his eyes.

He picked up the frame delicately, the frame enameled silver. You were beautiful, in a gauzy white dress that hugged your body and a veil in your hair, a hand on Brad’s chest as you looked into his eyes. He was beaming, looking like someone who’d just gotten exactly what he wanted. But your smile was more subdued. Joel wasn’t sure if it was just peaceful or if you weren’t as happy as he’d always thought women were when they got married.

But the longer he looked at the picture, the less the woman in it looked like you. The dress didn’t look like something you’d really pick. Your nails were done in a way he’d never seen you wear them. Your makeup, too, looked off. Like someone had dressed you up as a character, as though you’d been cast in the role as bride and showed up to play your part and nothing more.

“I should probably get rid of that,” you said, making Joel jump. Your arms were crossed tightly over your chest. You were in leggings and a burnt orange Longhorns sweatshirt now that was several sizes too big for you, sleeves pushed almost to your elbows and sliding down. “Just can’t bring myself to.”

Joel nodded slowly, setting it down.

“Looked beautiful,” he said. You scoffed. “What? You did.”

“Thanks,” you said, going and pulling back the blanket on your bed. Joel paused before he went around to the other side of it, tequila bottle still dangling from one hand. He stood there for a moment, half reaching for the bedspread, half watching you for permission. You stretched over and pulled the blanket back. “Shoes off, don’t be gross.”

“I’m not a fuckin’ animal,” he rolled his eyes before he sat on the edge of the bed, kicking his shoes off without bothering to untie them and climbing in beside you. He leaned against the headboard and you did, too, a good two feet between your bodies in the king sized bed. “That why you keep it?”

You frowned.

“Keep what?”

“The picture,” he nodded to it. “Because you looked pretty?”

You laughed a little.

“No,” you said. “Not that. Just… feels very final, getting rid of the last wedding picture. Once that’s gone, it’s like it never happened at all. There’s nothing tangible left of the last ten years of my life, it’s all just smoke.”

Joel nodded slowly and opened the tequila bottle before passing it to you. You took it, your fingers brushing his, and took a drink, face scrunched in a wince when you handed the bottle back. He laughed.

“That good, huh?”

“No, it’s good,” you coughed a little. “I just should have also grabbed… I don’t fucking know, lime and salt or something.”

He took a drink himself, appreciating the small sting as it went down. It was smooth, definitely better than anything he’d buy himself, but he needed at least a little burn in that moment.

“You’re just a baby,” he said, looking at the bottle. “Don’t need a damn thing with this stuff…”

“Alright, macho man,” you snatched the bottle from him and he laughed before you tipped it back for longer than you had before. He watched you swallow twice before lowering it with a cough. “There,” you managed eventually. “Who’s the baby now?”

“Still you,” he clapped you on the shoulder and you fixed him with a glare but handed him the bottle, anyway.

“Gee thanks.”

“Anytime.”

He took another sip and looked around your room a bit more, gaze pausing on one of the vintage style posters. He frowned for a second, trying to place why it felt familiar when he was too far away to read the movie title before he laughed.

“What?”

“Is that some fancy style Curtis and Viper poster?” He looked at you and you smiled. He passed you the bottle. “Where’d you even find that shit? There’s no way they made something that classy for fuckin’ Curtis and Viper…”

“Etsy is a beautiful thing,” you said. “I can show you if you want.”

“So you’re gonna stick around long enough to show me, then?” He asked, regretting it almost as soon as it was out of his mouth, especially once the small hurt was there on your face. “Shit… I…”

“I wasn’t planning to take off across the country anytime too soon, Joel,” you said cooly.

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… Just… It scares me. I like having you here. You belong here. Don’t want to lose you again, I just got you back.”

“I don’t want to lose you again either,” you said quietly, looking down at the tequila bottle instead of at Joel.

“I’m not the one who left, Goldie.”

You were silent but you nodded.

“You never even told me why,” he said quietly. “I didn’t know what happened… still don’t…”

“I don’t really feel like digging up ancient history,” you said, your thumb tracing over the curve of the bottle before looking up at him. “I mean, is that really what you want to do? You really want to go through all of that?”

He sighed.

“I don’t fuckin’ know.”

“I know what I want,” you said.

He could feel your eyes on him. He met them.

“What?”

“I want you in my life,” you said quietly. “I don’t want to go back to missing you all the time. I want my best friend back.”

He sighed.

“I want that, too.”

You smiled a little and scooted closer, leaning over until your head was on his shoulder. He could smell your shampoo, the slightly floral tang of your perfume, the scent of your skin nestled below it all.

“How about we never fight again,” you said.

Joel could hear the smile in your voice. He laughed once.

“Sure thing, Goldie,” he said. “We’ll never fight again.”

“Good,” you said and he felt your cheek move as your smile grew. You held the tequila out to him. “You’re slacking off, by the way.”

“Well shit,” he said. “Lemme catch up.”

The two of you drank more than you should have, devolving into slurred speech and shrieking laughs before you passed out, tucked against Joel. He turned out the light and adjusted delicately until he was lying down and your head was on his chest, curled up against his side. His arm curved around your shoulders until his fingers traced over your jaw, your cheek, your hairline.

“You’re warm,” you mumbled against him. “Best pillow…”

He smiled and nuzzled into your hair, his lips brushing your forehead.

“Sure am,” he whispered.

“Glad you’re here,” you slurred, words closer to mush than anything else. “Missed you.”

He took a deep breath and tried not to get too attached to the way your body felt on his.

“Glad I’m here too, Goldie. Missed you, too.”

Providence, Rhode Island

Early August, 2008

Joel had never been on a college campus like this.

Of course, he’d only ever been on one and UT barely counted, the campus was just part of Austin. He had no idea where to start looking for you at some place like this.

Some asshole dude with too much gel in his hair gave Joel a look as he tossed his duffle bag on one arm and left the bus stop. His mouth got dry. He didn’t belong here, that much was fucking obvious, and everyone could fucking tell.

He just walked for a few minutes, working his way deeper into the ivy-covered cluster of buildings. There weren’t many people around but he supposed that made sense, fall semester hadn’t started yet. He’d finally managed to get Anna to tell him where the fuck you’d gone and why. Some summer program, an invitation-only intensive for creative writing students.

“It was so weird,” Anna said when he finally convinced her to get a cup of coffee with him. “She got the invitation in like… April and talked about it with Mom and she decided she didn’t want to go. It started before school was out here - I guess college semesters are shorter or something - and she didn’t want to miss prom and graduation. And then a few days after prom she came home from school, locked herself in her room for a bit and then told mom she was leaving Friday for the program. She already had it all worked out, it was nuts…”

You’d never mentioned it to him. Not the invitation, not deciding not to go, not changing your mind, none of it. It didn’t make any fucking sense to him. Why wouldn’t you have told him? Why would you have just left? Especially after prom…

He finally stumbled upon someone who didn’t look like a rich asshole who pointed him in the direction of the English department, but she cautioned him after he thanked her and turned to leave.

“There’s basically no one there at this hour,” she warned. “You might run into Professor Newton - he runs the writing program - but they usually have all left for dinner. My boyfriend’s in the program, they like to give them plenty of writing time in the evenings…”

“Right,” Joel nodded. He hadn’t come up with a plan of anywhere to stay tonight if he couldn’t find you but he had enough money that he could get a cheap motel room for a night or two. He’d figure it out. “Thanks.”

He jogged to where the girl had pointed him and found the sign for the English department building, some rich asshole’s name on it, and took the steps to the front door two at a time, catching it just as someone else left for the day.

The building was quiet, just like the girl had warned him it would be and he worked his way through the labyrinth of lecture halls until he found the faculty office list. Dr. Gale Newton, professor of creative writing, third floor, office 315.

He ran up the stairs and took a second to catch his breath before opening the doors to the hall.

Immediately, he was met by the sound of your laugh. It hit him hard, for a moment. It had been months since he’d heard your voice, longer than he’d ever wanted to go but you were here now, so close that he could hear your happiness again.

He followed it, a siren call, to the end of the hall, office 315. The door was cracked, just enough that he could hear you and just see inside.

“I’m being serious!” Your laugh was still on your voice but it was quieter now. You were standing in front of the desk, your back to Joel. “You really think it’s good?”

“Oh Doll,” a man said, coming around the desk. He stepped in front of you and reached out, cupping the back of your neck and tilting your head to bring you into alignment with him. “I think you’ve made tremendous strides since coming here. You’ve learned so much.”

He kissed you then, pulling you against his front, his other hand going to your lower back as you moaned into his mouth. Your arms went around his neck, your body curving and arching into his touch. The man adjusted you until your legs were against his desk and he pulled back from you.

“Gale,” you breathed, all desperate and needy.

“Let’s see what else you’ve learned,” he said, helping you onto the desk.

Joel felt like he was going to be sick.

It was as though he was outside of his own body, moving without intending to. He was to the end of the hall, down the stairs and out onto the grass before he really knew what was happening. The air outside felt thick and he was having a hard time getting enough of it. His head spun. You’d taken off across the country, cut him off entirely, and found someone else. Your fucking professor. You hadn’t even talked to him, hadn’t even hesitated…

He doubled over and threw up in the bushes, all the shitty bus station food he’d eaten over the last few hours coming back. You were gone, you were really, actually gone.

Joel wiped his mouth on the back of his wrist and walked, numb, back to the bus stop. He stood there, staring into space, when the girl he’d spoken to before came up alongside him.

“Hey,” she smiled up at him. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

He looked at her and, for half a second, thought about seeing if she would bring him back to her dorm, see if she’d let him make her come until she was screaming his name and he could erase the sound of you moaning another man’s name from his head.

But she said she had a boyfriend.

Though he supposed it didn’t really matter. It could be anyone. Just something to get that sound out of his fucking head.

She frowned, watching him.

“You OK? Did you find it?”

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “Yeah, I found it.”

Next Chapter

A/N: They were so close to actually talking it out but our good friends, youthful indiscretion and denial, are going to have them dodge that conversation a little while longer yet.

But!

They have their plan in place! Sarah's still a gem! Anna's now fully in the mix! Just have to see what happens next!

Thanks so much for being here. I'm so sorry the wait has been so long between chapters. I keep thinking life is going to slow down and then it just doesn't. I appreciate you spending your time with these characters and this story! Your kind comments truly mean the world.

❤️

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #halcyon

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linkyu · 1 year ago

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tell me about your defense contract pleage

Oh boy!

To be fair, it's nothing grandiose, like, it wasn't about "a new missile blueprint" or whatever, but, just thinking about what it could have become? yeesh.

So, let's go.

For context, this is taking place in the early 2010s, where I was working as a dev and manager for a company that mostly did space stuff, but they had some defence and security contracts too.

One day we got a new contract though, which was... a weird one. It was state-auctioned, meaning that this was basically a homeland contract, but the main sponsor was Philip Morris. Yeah. The American cigarette company.

Why? Because the contract was essentially a crackdown on "illegal cigarette sales", but it was sold as a more general "war on drugs" contract.

For those unaware (because chances are, like me, you are a non-smoker), cigarette contraband is very much a thing. At the time, ~15% of cigarettes were sold illegally here (read: they were smuggled in and sold on the street).

And Phillip Morris wanted to stop that. After all, they're only a small company worth uhhh... oh JFC. Just a paltry 150 billion dollars. They need those extra dollars, you understand?

Anyway. So they sponsored a contract to the state, promising that "the technology used for this can be used to stop drug deals too". Also that "the state would benefit from the cigarettes part as well because smaller black market means more official sales means a higher tax revenue" (that has actually been proven true during the 2020 quarantine).

Anyway, here was the plan:

Phase 1 was to train a neural network and plug it in directly to the city's video-surveillance system, in order to detect illegal transactions as soon as they occur. Big brother who?

Phase 2 was to then track the people involved in said transaction throughout the city, based on their appearance and gait. You ever seen the Plainsight sheep counting video? Imagine something like this but with people. That data would then be relayed to police officers in the area.

So yeah, an automated CCTV-based tracking system. Because that's not setting a scary precedent.

So what do you do when you're in that position? Let me tell you. If you're thrust unknowingly, or against your will, into a project like this,

Note. The following is not a legal advice. In fact it's not even good advice. Do not attempt any of this unless you know you can't get caught, or that even if you are caught, the consequences are acceptable. Above all else, always have a backup plan if and when it backfires. Also don't do anything that can get you sued. Be reasonable.

Let me introduce you to the world of Corporate Sabotage! It's a funny form of striking, very effective in office environments.

Here's what I did:

First of all was the training data. We had extensive footage, but it needed to be marked manually for the training. Basically, just cropping the clips around the "transaction" and drawing some boxes on top of the "criminals". I was in charge of several batches of those. It helped that I was fast at it since I had video editing experience already. Well, let's just say that a good deal of those markings were... not very accurate.

Also, did you know that some video encodings are very slow to process by OpenCV, to the point of sometimes crashing? I'm sure the software is better at it nowadays though. So I did that to another portion of the data.

Unfortunately the training model itself was handled by a different company, so I couldn't do more about this.

Or could I?

I was the main person communicating with them, after all.

Enter: Miscommunication Master

In short (because this is already way too long), I became the most rigid person in the project. Like insisting on sharing the training data only on our own secure shared drive, which they didn't have access to yet. Or tracking down every single bug in the program and making weekly reports on those, which bogged down progress. Or asking for things to be done but without pointing at anyone in particular, so that no one actually did the thing. You know, classic manager incompetence. Except I couldn't be faulted, because after all, I was just "really serious about the security aspect of this project. And you don't want the state to learn that we've mishandled the data security of the project, do you, Jeff?"

A thousand little jabs like this, to slow down and delay the project.

At the end of it, after a full year on this project, we had.... a neural network full of false positives and a semi-working visualizer.

They said the project needed to be wrapped up in the next three months.

I said "damn, good luck with that! By the way my contract is up next month and I'm not renewing."

Last I heard, that city still doesn't have anything installed on their CCTV.

tl;dr: I used corporate sabotage to prevent automated surveillance to be implemented in a city--

hey hold on

wait

what

HEY ACTUALLY I DID SOME EXTRA RESEARCH TO SEE IF PHILLIP MORRIS TRIED THIS SHIT WITH ANOTHER COMPANY SINCE THEN AND WHAT THE FUCK

HUH??????

well what the fuck was all that even about then if they already own most of the black market???

#i'm sorry this got sidetracked in the end #i'm speechless #anyway yeah!#sometimes activism is sitting in an office and wasting everyone's time in a very polite manner #i learned that one from the CIA actually

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misfitwashere · 2 months ago

Text

April 11, 2025

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

APR 12

READ IN APP

On April 4, Trump fired head of U.S. Cyber Command (CYBERCOM) and director of the National Security Agency (NSA) General Timothy Haugh, apparently on the recommendation of right-wing conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer, who is pitching her new opposition research firm to “vet” candidates for jobs in Trump’s administration.

Former secretary of the Air Force Frank Kendall wrote in Newsweek yesterday that the position Haugh held is “one of the most sensitive and powerful jobs in America.” Kendall writes that NSA and CYBERCOM oversee the world’s most sophisticated tools and techniques to penetrate computer systems, monitor communications around the globe, and, if national security requires it, attack those systems. U.S. law drastically curtails how those tools can be used in the U.S. and against American citizens and businesses. Will a Trump loyalist follow those laws? Kendall writes: “Every American should view this development with alarm.”

Just after 2:00 a.m. eastern time this morning, the Senate confirmed Retired Air Force Lieutenant General John Dan Caine, who goes by the nickname “Razin,” for chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff by a vote of 60–25. U.S. law requires the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to have served as the vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the chief of staff of the Army, the chief of naval operations, the chief of staff of the Air Force, the commandant of the Marine Corps, or the commander of a unified or specified combatant command.

Although Caine has 34 years of military experience, he did not serve in any of the required positions. The law provides that the president can waive the requirement if “the President determines such action is necessary in the national interest,” and he has apparently done so for Caine. The politicization of the U.S. military by filling it with Trump loyalists is now, as Kendall writes, “indisputable.”

The politicization of data is also indisputable. Billionaire Elon Musk’s “Department of Government Efficiency” (DOGE) claims to be saving Americans money, but the Wall Street Journal reported today that effort has been largely a failure (despite today’s announcement of devastating cuts to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration that monitors our weather). But what DOGE is really doing is burrowing into Americans’ data.

The first people to be targeted by that data collection appear to be undocumented immigrants. Jason Koebler of 404 Media reported on Wednesday that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has been using a database that enables officials to search for people by filtering for “hundreds of different, highly specific categories,” including scars or tattoos, bankruptcy filings, Social Security number, hair color, and race. The system, called Investigative Case Management (ICM), was created by billionaire Peter Thiel’s software company Palantir, which in 2022 signed a $95.9 million contract with the government to develop ICM.

Three Trump officials told Sophia Cai of Politico that DOGE staffers embedded in agencies across the government are expanding government cooperation with immigration officials, using the information they’re gleaning from government databases to facilitate deportation. On Tuesday, DOGE software engineer Aram Moghaddassi sent the first 6,300 names of individuals whose temporary legal status had just been canceled. On the list, which Moghaddassi said covered those on “the terror watch list” or with “F.B.I. criminal records,” were eight minors, including one 13-year-old.

The Social Security Administration worked with the administration to get those people to “self-deport” by adding them to the agency's “death master file.” That file is supposed to track people whose death means they should no longer receive benefits. Adding to it people the administration wants to erase is “financial murder,” former SSA commissioner Martin O’Malley told Alexandra Berzon, Hamed Aleaziz, Nicholas Nehamas, Ryan Mac, and Tara Siegel Bernard of the New York Times. Those people will not be able to use credit cards or banks.

On Tuesday, Acting Internal Revenue Service (IRS) Commissioner Melanie Krause resigned after the IRS and the Department of Homeland Security agreed to share sensitive taxpayer data with immigration authorities. Undocumented immigrants pay billions in taxes, in part to demonstrate their commitment to citizenship, and the government has promised immigrants that it would not use that information for immigration enforcement. Until now, the IRS has protected sensitive taxpayer information.

Rene Marsh and Marshall Cohen of CNN note that “[m]ultiple senior career IRS officials refused to sign the data-sharing agreement with DHS,” which will enable HHS officials to ask the IRS for names and addresses of people they suspect are undocumented, “because of grave concerns about its legality.” Ultimately, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent signed the agreement with Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem.

Krause was only one of several senior career officials leaving the IRS, raising concerns among those staying that there is no longer a “defense against the potential unlawful use of taxpayer data by the Trump administration.”

Makena Kelly of Wired reported today that for the past three days, DOGE staffers have been working with representatives from Palantir and career engineers from the IRS in a giant “hackathon.” Their goal is to build a system that will be able to access all IRS records, including names, addresses, job data, and Social Security numbers, that can then be compared with data from other agencies.

But the administration’s attempt to automate deportation is riddled with errors. Last night the government sent threatening emails to U.S. citizens, green card holders, and even a Canadian (in Canada) terminating “your parole” and giving them seven days to leave the U.S. One Massachusetts-born immigration lawyer asked on social media: “Does anyone know if you can get Italian citizenship through great-grandparents?”

The government is not keen to correct its errors. On March 15 the government rendered to prison in El Salvador a legal U.S. resident, Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia, whom the courts had ordered the U.S. not to send to El Salvador, where his life was in danger. The government has admitted that its arrest and rendition of Abrego Garcia happened because of “administrative error” but now claims—without evidence—that he is a member of the MS-13 gang and that his return to the U.S. would threaten the public. Abrego Garcia says he is not a gang member and notes that he has never been charged with a crime.

On April 4, U.S. District Court Judge Paula Xinis ordered the government to return Abrego Garcia to the U.S. no later than 11:59 pm on April 7. The administration appealed to the Supreme Court, which handed down a 9–0 decision yesterday, saying the government must “facilitate” Abrego Garcia’s release, but asked the district court to clarify what it meant by “effectuate,” noting that it must give “due regard for the deference owed to the Executive Branch in the conduct of foreign affairs.”

The Supreme Court also ordered that “the Government should be prepared to share what it can concerning the steps it has taken and the prospect of further steps.”

Legal analyst Joyce White Vance explained what happened next. Judge Xinis ordered the government to file an update by 9:30 a.m. today explaining where Abrego Garcia is, what the government is doing to get him back, and what more it will do. She planned an in-person hearing at 1:00 p.m.

The administration made clear it did not intend to comply. It answered that the judge had not given them enough time to answer and suggested that it would delay over the Supreme Court’s instruction that Xinis must show deference to the president’s ability to conduct foreign affairs. Xinis gave the government until 11:30 and said she would still hold the hearing. The government submitted its filing at about 12:15, saying that Abrego Garcia is “in the custody of a foreign sovereign,” but at the 1:00 hearing, as Anna Bower of Lawfare reported, the lawyer representing the government, Drew Ensign, said he did not have information about where Abrego Garcia is and that the government had done nothing to get him back. Ensign said he might have answers by next Tuesday. Xinis says they will have to give an update tomorrow.

As Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor recently warned, if the administration can take noncitizens off the streets, render them to prison in another country, and then claim it is helpless to correct the error because the person is out of reach of U.S. jurisdiction, it could do the same thing to citizens. Indeed, both President Trump and White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt have proposed that very thing.

Tonight, Trump signed a memorandum to the secretaries of defense, interior, agriculture, and homeland security calling for a “Military Mission for Sealing the Southern Border of the United States and Repelling Invasions.” The memorandum creates a military buffer zone along the border so that any migrant crossing would be trespassing on a U.S. military base. This would allow active-duty soldiers to hold migrants until ICE agents take them.

By April 20, the secretaries of defense and homeland security are supposed to report to the president whether they think he should invoke the 1807 Insurrection Act to enable him to use the military to aid in mass deportations.

—

#heather cox richardson #letters from an american

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 2 months ago

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Matt Davies

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

April 11, 2025

Heather Cox Richardson

Apr 12, 2025

The Supreme Court also ordered that “the Government should be prepared to share what it can concerning the steps it has taken and the prospect of further steps.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

#political cartoons #Matt Davies #The Big Chill #Heather Cox Richardson #Letters from An American #personal data #the right to privacy #identity theft #mistaken identity #SCOTUS #secretary of defense #homeland security #incompetence #data mining #data weaponization

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skyovereuropeldkde · 3 months ago

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Trap to Enslave Humanity Artificial intelligence - for the benefit of mankind!? The company OpenAI developed its AI software ChatGPT under this objective. But why was a head of espionage of all people appointed to the board? Is ChatGPT really a blessing or possibly even a trap to enslave humanity? (Moderator) Develop artificial intelligence (AI) supposedly for the benefit of humanity! With this in mind, the company OpenAI was founded in 2015 by Sam Altman, Elon Musk and others. Everyone knows its best-known software by now – the free ChatGPT – it formulates texts, carries out Internet searches and will soon be integrated into Apple and Microsoft as standard. In the meantime, however, there is reason to doubt the "charity" proclaimed by the company when it was founded.

Founder Sam Altman is primarily concerned with profits. Although ChatGPT can be used free of charge, it is given access to personal data and deep insights into the user's thoughts and mental life every time it is operated. Data is the gold of the 21st century. Whoever controls it gains enormous power.

But what is particularly striking is the following fact: Four-star general Paul Nakasone, of all people, was appointed to the board of OpenAI in 2024. Previously, Nakasone was head of the US intelligence agency NSA and the United States Cyber Command for electronic warfare. He became known to the Americans when he publicly warned against China and Russia as aggressors. The fact that the NSA has attracted attention in the past for spying on its own people, as well as on friendly countries, seems to have been forgotten. Consequently, a proven cold warrior is joining the management team at OpenAI. [Moderator] It is extremely interesting to note that Nakasone is also a member of the Board's newly formed Safety Committee. This role puts him in a position of great influence, as the recommendations of this committee are likely to shape the future policy of OpenAI. OpenAI may thus be steered in the direction of practices that Nakasone has internalized in the NSA. According to Edward Snowden, there can only be one reason for this personnel decision: "Deliberate, calculated betrayal of the rights of every human being on earth." It is therefore not surprising that OpenAI founder, Sam Altmann, wants to assign to every citizen of the world a "World ID", which is recorded by scanning the iris. Since this ID then contains EVERYTHING you have ever done, bought and undertaken, it is perfect for total surveillance. In conjunction with ChatGPT, it is therefore possible to maintain reliable databases on every citizen in the world. This is how the transparent citizen is created: total control of humanity down to the smallest detail. In the wrong hands, such technology becomes the greatest danger to a free humanity! The UN, the World Bank and the World Economic Forum (WEF) are also driving this digital recording of every citizen of the world. Since all these organizations are foundations and strongholds of the High Degree Freemasons, the World ID is therefore also a designated project of these puppet masters on their way to establishing a One World Government. The fact that Sam Altman wants to push through their plans with the support of General Nakasone and was also a participant at the Bilderberg Conference in 2016, 2022 and 2023 proves that he is a representative of these global strategists, if not a high degree freemason himself. The Bilderberg Group forms a secret shadow government and was founded by the High Degree Freemasons with the aim of creating a new world order. Anyone who has ever been invited to one of their conferences remains associated with the Bilderbergers and, according to the German political scientist and sociologist Claudia von Werlhof, is a future representative of this power!

Since countless people voluntarily disclose their data when using ChatGPT, this could bring the self-appointed would-be world rulers a lot closer to their goal. As Kla.TV founder Ivo Sasek warns in his program "Deadly Ignorance or Worldwide Decision", the world is about to fall into the trap of the big players once again via ChatGPT. So, dear viewers, don't be dazzled by the touted advantages of AI. It is another snare of the High Degree Freemasons who are weaving a huge net to trap all of humanity in it. Say NO to this development!

#Trap to Enslave Humanity #Artificial Intelligence #AI #World ID #World Control #ChatGPT #Wake up #Do your research #Seek the Truth

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sihs-mph · 7 days ago

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Unlocking a Healthier Future: A Deep Dive into the Master of Public Health Course

In today’s rapidly evolving global health landscape, the Master of Public Health (MPH) course plays a pivotal role in shaping professionals who can lead systemic change. At SIHS (School of Integrated Health Sciences), the SIHS MPH has been meticulously crafted to equip students with extensive knowledge and practical skills necessary to tackle public health challenges across communities.

Why Choose the MPH at SIHS?

SIHS’s MPH program is designed with a multidisciplinary approach, ensuring that students gain expertise in epidemiology, biostatistics, health policy, environmental health, and health systems management. By accessing Master of Public Health Course, prospective students can explore the program's holistic curriculum highlighting both theoretical foundations and immersive fieldwork.

What sets this MPH course apart is its commitment to experiential learning. Through real-world projects, internships, and community outreach, students not only grasp public health concepts but also apply them in practical settings. This hands-on model cultivates essential leadership skills, data-driven analytical thinking, and adaptability qualities in high demand by governmental bodies, non-profits, healthcare agencies, and international organizations.

Curriculum Highlights

The structure of the Master of Public Health Course ensures a well-rounded education:

Core Foundations: Epidemiology, Biostatistics, Environmental Health, Social and Behavioral Sciences

Policy & Management: Health Policies, Program Planning, Health System Governance

Field Practicum: Community-based projects and internships

Capstone Project: Addressing a pressing public health issue with research-backed solutions

This meticulous blend empowers graduates to emerge as competent public health strategists with the capacity to innovate, plan, and implement sustainable health initiatives in diverse environments.

Career Pathways and Impact

Graduates from SIHS’s MPH program are fully prepared to step into roles such as Epidemiologists, Health Policy Analysts, Public Health Consultants, and Program Directors. Professionals who complete the MPH often take on leadership positions in health departments, NGOs, the World Health Organization, and research institutions.

The skills honed through Master of Public Health (MPH) extend far beyond professional success. MPH alumni carry forward a deep sense of social responsibility, equipped to battle health disparities, champion preventive care, and respond effectively to public health crises.

Student Support and Aspirations

SIHS fosters a supportive learning environment, offering mentorship from seasoned faculty, networking opportunities, career services, and access to cutting-edge research facilities. Students benefit from guidance tailored toward personal development and professional advancement, combining academic rigor with accessible support systems.

Final Thoughts

The Master of Public Health course at SIHS explore more at https://www.sihs.edu.in/master-of-public-health-course is more than a degree; it’s a gateway to meaningful change. For those driven by a vision of healthier communities and a stronger public health infrastructure, this MPH program is a transformative journey empowering learners to become leaders in the global quest for wellness and equity.

Embark on this life-changing academic venture and be a catalyst for positive health impact begin your MPH journey with SIHS today!

#Master of Public Health Course

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edumatrixs · 15 days ago

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Unlock Your Creative Potential with a Diploma in Digital Content Creation in Dubai

In today’s rapidly evolving digital world, content is more than just king—it’s the entire kingdom. Whether it’s engaging videos, compelling social media campaigns, or immersive storytelling, the demand for skilled digital content creators has never been higher. That’s where edumatrix steps in with its cutting-edge Diploma in Digital Content Creation in Dubai—a program designed to equip future creators with the skills, tools, and vision needed to thrive in the digital age.

Why Choose a Diploma in Digital Content Creation in Dubai?

Dubai is not only a global hub for business and innovation but also a hotspot for media, marketing, and creative industries. By enrolling in a Diploma in Digital Content Creation in Dubai, you’ll gain access to a vibrant creative economy, hands-on training, and exposure to real-world projects that mirror the demands of the industry.

At edumatrix, our curriculum is curated by experts in media, marketing, and design. From video editing and graphic design to digital storytelling and social media strategy, we cover all facets of content creation. Students will also gain exposure to the latest tools and platforms used by professionals globally.

A Holistic Approach to Learning

Our diploma program goes beyond just technical skills. We emphasize creativity, communication, and strategy, ensuring our graduates can not only create content but also understand the psychology of audiences and the dynamics of digital marketing.

Students benefit from:

Expert-led workshops

Hands-on projects and real-time feedback

Industry-standard software training

Portfolio development for job readiness

Whether you’re a recent high school graduate, a career switcher, or a working professional looking to upskill, this diploma offers a flexible and future-proof path to success.

Expand Your Horizons with edumatrix

While our Diploma in Digital Content Creation in Dubai is one of our flagship programs, edumatrix is also proud to offer a diverse range of professional courses, including:

Hospitality Management Courses UAE Perfect for those looking to build a career in one of the UAE’s most dynamic and customer-focused industries. Our hospitality courses combine theoretical knowledge with real-world internships in leading hotels and resorts.

Artificial Intelligence Courses in Dubai AI is reshaping industries across the globe. Our AI programs are ideal for tech enthusiasts and professionals aiming to lead in automation, machine learning, and data-driven decision-making.

Why edumatrix?

As a trusted name in education and professional training in the UAE, edumatrix stands for quality, innovation, and student success. Our mission is to bridge the gap between academic learning and real-world application, empowering learners with relevant skills for today’s job market.

With expert faculty, modern facilities, and strong industry connections, edumatrix is your gateway to a future-proof career—whether in content creation, hospitality, or AI.

Ready to Take the Leap?

Step into the world of creativity and innovation with edumatrix’s Diploma in Digital Content Creation in Dubai. Explore your passions, master in-demand skills, and turn your ideas into powerful content that connects, influences, and inspires.

Visit edumatrix to learn more and enroll today.

#Diploma in Digital Content Creation Dubai#Hospitality Management Courses UAE#Artificial Intelligence Courses in Dubai

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precium1 · 1 month ago

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Optimising Revenue with Smart Dynamic Pricing for Hotels

Mastering Dynamic Pricing Strategies for Accommodations

Learn how dynamic pricing can transform your room revenue. Discover proven strategies, tools, and tips to master real-time rate optimisation.

In the ever-evolving world of hospitality, pricing is more than a number — it’s a strategy. With customer behaviour and market conditions changing in real time, static pricing models not the right choice to improve profitability. That’s where Dynamic Pricing comes in.

This blog will help you understand what dynamic pricing is, why it’s vital for Hotel Industry, and how to implement it effectively to maximise Revenue and Profitability.

What Is Dynamic Pricing?

Dynamic pricing means fluctuations in the price points depending on various factors like Seasonality, Demand Levels, Market Condition, Socio-economic situation, Weather Forecast, etc. All the other Rates are derived from the parent rate. When we fluctuate the parent rate, all the rate plans connected to the parent rate plan will update automatically.

Latest trends shows offline Travel Agents & Negotiated Corporate clients are also moving to Dynamic Pricing model.

Benefits of Dynamic Pricing

Maximise ADR over High Demand days/period

Maximise RevPAR through Occupancy over Low Demand days/period

Time saving- update only parent rate plan, all the derived rate plans will update automatically

Low probability of making a mistake while updating Price Points

Key Factors That Influence Pricing

Pricing decisions should be based on data-driven insights. Key variables include:

Demand trends (holidays, events, weather)

Booking windows (how far in advance people book)

Competitor pricing (Monitor fluctuating price points)

Inventory levels (room availability)

Market segments (Corporate vs Leisure, Groups vs FIT, Social vs Business)

Proven Dynamic Pricing Strategies for Hotels & Rentals

✅ Use Price Sensitivity to Guide Changes

Understand how price-sensitive your guests are. For example, leisure travellers are more responsive to discounts, while business travellers may prioritise convenience over cost.

✅ Set Rate differentiated Pricing

Create and Implement Retail Pricing Strategy to cater to a larger target Audience. Example:

Advance Purchase Rate with non-refundable cancellation policy at a discounted Rate for Early bookers.

Minimum LOS Rate at a discounted Rate for bookers staying for a longer stay.

Value add-ons Add Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Spa, etc to create a value Package

✅ Monitor Competitor Pricing

Monitoring Competitor Price Point fluctuations gives us an indication of the Market Demand Levels. Automated Rate Shopping Tool helps the Hotels to keep a close watch on Competitor Pricing behaviour.

Conclusion

Mastering dynamic pricing is about being proactive, strategic, and data-driven. When done right, it empowers you to:

Maximise RevPAR

Improve profitability during both peak and off-peak periods

Whether you’re managing a boutique hotel, a resort, or short-term rentals, embracing dynamic pricing is critical.

Need help implementing dynamic pricing for your property?

Collaborate with RedSKY Hospitality revenue management specialists or take advantage of Precium Automated Pricing Solutions to maximise your property’s Revenue potential.

#hotel revenue management #precium #revenue management #software #precium software #rate shopping software #revenue manager #revenue management system #rms #dynamic pricing

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learntodigital11 · 2 months ago

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PPC Training Course: Become a Certified Pay-Per-Click Advertising Expert

Course Overview

In today’s competitive digital marketplace, Pay-Per-Click (PPC) advertising has emerged as one of the most powerful ways to attract highly targeted traffic, generate quality leads, and drive conversions. Whether you are managing a small business campaign or running large-scale enterprise ads, mastering PPC can significantly improve your marketing ROI.

Our Comprehensive PPC Training Course is designed to equip marketers, entrepreneurs, students, and professionals with in-depth knowledge and hands-on experience in paid advertising across leading platforms like Google Ads, Bing Ads, Facebook Ads, and more. This course will help you learn how to craft effective ad campaigns, optimize performance, manage budgets, analyze results, and scale your advertising for maximum profitability.

From keyword selection and bidding strategies to ad copywriting, A/B testing, and conversion tracking, this course covers every essential aspect of PPC advertising in a practical, easy-to-understand format.

Learning Objectives

By the end of this course, participants will be able to:

Understand PPC fundamentals, auction systems, and ad networks.

Create, manage, and optimize campaigns on platforms like Google Ads and Facebook Ads.

Conduct in-depth keyword research and match types selection.

Write compelling ad copy that converts.

Set budgets and bidding strategies effectively.

Track conversions and measure campaign ROI.

Perform A/B testing to optimize ads and landing pages.

Understand Google Ads policies and avoid common mistakes.

Use advanced tools and analytics to make data-driven decisions.

Who Should Take This Course?

This PPC course is ideal for:

Digital marketers looking to master paid advertising

Business owners and entrepreneurs who want to drive more leads and sales

Marketing students and job seekers aiming to build strong PPC expertise

Freelancers and consultants offering PPC services

Content creators, affiliate marketers, and eCommerce sellers

Anyone looking to pass Google Ads certifications or boost their resume

Whether you are a complete beginner or have some experience in online advertising, this course is structured to take you from foundational concepts to advanced techniques.

Course Duration & Format

Total Duration: 4 to 6 Weeks

Mode: Live Online Classes | Self-Paced Videos | In-Person (in select cities)

Class Schedule: 2–3 sessions per week (1.5–2 hours per session)

Assignments & Projects: Weekly exercises and a final live campaign project

Certification: Industry-recognized Certificate of Completion

Participants also receive lifetime access to course materials, templates, and recordings.

Course Modules

Module 1: Introduction to PPC Advertising

What is PPC? How it works

PPC vs. SEO: Key differences and benefits

Understanding ad auctions, quality score, and ad rank

Overview of major platforms: Google Ads, Bing Ads, Facebook/Instagram Ads, LinkedIn Ads

Module 2: Google Ads – Search Network

Account structure: Campaigns, ad groups, and ads

Keyword research tools and techniques (Google Keyword Planner, Ubersuggest, SEMrush)

Match types: Broad, Phrase, Exact, and Negative Keywords

Creating text ads and responsive search ads

Setting up campaigns, budgets, and bidding strategies

Understanding Quality Score and Ad Rank

Best practices for search ad optimization

Module 3: Google Ads – Display & Remarketing

Display Network basics and visual ad formats

Targeting options: audience, contextual, placements

Creating banner ads and HTML5 ads

Setting up remarketing audiences

Display campaign creation and optimization

Retargeting strategies to bring back lost visitors

Module 4: Google Ads – Shopping & YouTube Ads

Google Merchant Center and product feeds

Setting up Smart Shopping and Performance Max campaigns

Introduction to YouTube Ads (TrueView, bumper ads)

Video ad creation and targeting

Budgeting and video ad performance tracking

Module 5: Facebook and Instagram Ads

Setting up a Business Manager and Ad Account

Creating audiences: custom, lookalike, saved audiences

Ad formats: image, carousel, video, story, collection

Campaign objectives: awareness, consideration, conversion

Pixel installation and event tracking

A/B testing and campaign optimization

Budgeting, bidding, and scaling strategies

Module 6: Landing Pages and Conversion Optimization

Importance of a high-converting landing page

Key elements: headline, CTA, visuals, trust signals

Tools for building and testing landing pages (e.g., Unbounce, Leadpages)

A/B testing for ads and landing pages

Reducing bounce rate and improving user experience

Module 7: Analytics, Tracking & Reporting

Conversion tracking setup (Google Ads, GA4, Meta Pixel)

UTM parameters and campaign tagging

Google Analytics integration and goal tracking

Reading reports: impressions, CTR, CPC, CPA, ROAS

Creating custom dashboards and performance reports

Identifying underperforming ads and campaigns

Module 8: Budgeting, Bidding, and Scaling

Manual vs. automated bidding strategies

CPC, CPM, CPA, and ROAS models

Campaign budgeting and forecasting

Scaling campaigns profitably

Avoiding overspending and improving ad efficiency

Module 9: Advanced Strategies and Common Pitfalls

Smart bidding and machine learning in PPC

Audience layering and segmentation

Seasonality and campaign planning

Common mistakes in PPC and how to avoid them

Google Ads policies, ad disapprovals, and account suspensions

Module 10: Capstone Project & Certification

Create a live campaign for a real or mock business

Set up and optimize ads across at least two platforms

Present strategy, results, and learnings

Receive instructor feedback and final assessment

Certificate of Completion + Google Ads exam preparation (optional)

Course Features

Hands-on Practice: Live campaign setup and real-time platform navigation

Industry Tools Covered: Google Ads, Meta Ads Manager, Google Keyword Planner, SEMrush, Canva, Google Analytics 4 (GA4), and more

Templates & Resources: Ad copy templates, budget calculators, performance trackers

Access to PPC Experts: Live Q&A sessions and mentor feedback

Career Guidance: Resume building tips, portfolio development, and job assistance

Certification

All participants who complete the course and pass the final project will receive an Industry-Recognized Certificate. You will also be guided on how to clear the Google Ads Certifications, such as:

Google Ads Search Certification

Google Ads Display Certification

Google Ads Video Certification

Shopping Ads Certification

These certifications are valuable for building credibility as a digital marketing professional or freelancer.

Why Choose Our PPC Training Course?

✅ Up-to-date Curriculum aligned with current ad platform features ✅ Practical & Real-World Focus with live account walkthroughs ✅ Expert Faculty with years of campaign management experience ✅ Free Access to Tools & Templates used by top advertisers ✅ Supportive Community of learners, marketers, and business owners ✅ Flexibility to learn at your own pace or through live instruction

Benefits of PPC Skills in 2025 and Beyond

High demand for PPC specialists across industries

Essential for digital marketing agencies, eCommerce, SaaS, local businesses, and consultants

Control over marketing costs with measurable ROI

Quick visibility and traffic generation compared to organic methods

Adds a high-paying skill to your resume or freelance profile

#best ppc training #ppc course

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baiuzensenn · 2 years ago

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It’s really hilarious for me that in our time, ppl tend to praise mediocrity. Instead of recognizing the one who has the real skills and capacity, if someone mediocre gets through luckily by means of his mediocrity, ppl call him the real Master.

The whole logic chain of Ferrari turned out to be so laughable: Sainz is always shit at tyre management so he was given the 2-stop strategy which Ferrari thought was not tier 1 option but finally was proved to be the correct one. Sainz hilariously benefited from his mediocrity, and then he began to tell the media he insisted 2 pit stops to imply he was the better driver with a strategic brain.

While Charles was not only punished by his better tyre management and Ferrari’s totally wrong data analysis, I saw tifosi began to scapegoat Charles by telling him don’t be a Yes man you need to say No to your team you need to make your own strategy blah blah blah same old shit — Dear tifosi do you know you just hilariously proved Ferrari is such a unreliable clown team that your driver even cannot rely on your data analysis? And should Charles choose not to trust his team you guys will also call him not a team player blah blah blah.

Max Verstappen at Red Bull will never need to worry about whether he should choose to TRUST his team’s strategy or not and this is why Max and Red Bull success. I don’t see Ferrari learn anything from their continuing failure because they keep protecting the mediocrity of every responsible one in this unserious team (including Sainz, lol), while their fans will keep yelling and clapping for their mediocrity. Ferrari won’t have any WDC anymore because a team embraces mediocrity simply don’t deserve a champion at all. Long live Scuderia Ferrari’s failure and mediocrity!

#nonsense #f1

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mslanna · 2 years ago

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All Is Fair In - Well, War

Chapter 8 of Be My Guest now up on AO3

In which I went overboard with poetry (apologies), Haarlep learns that hugs are necessary for human health, and Raphael learns nothing at all

An uneven rhythm settles over the House of Hope. The war has begun in earnest and Raphael's forces move to corner Zariel in her flying fortress. With the number of fiends coming and going undisturbed time with Raphael or Haarlep is rare. And since devils have no need for sleep, the bustling is all around the clock. Tav's mind starts to simmer in anxiety and hyper-vigilance.

"Most of them don't care if I'm around," they complain to Haarlep. "They strut through this place all wings and armoured boots. I may need a sphere of invulnerability. Or my own wings, preferably armoured."

"That opposes the whole point of wings, but do go on." Haarlep lounges on their side, fingers tracing invisible patterns on the silken sheets.

"They make excellent cocoons," Tav insists. "Throw some armour on and they are good protection. Here, a little like that." Tav scoots closer and pulls one of Haarlep's wings over them like a fleshy tent.

"Ah, we don't do that." The incubus retracts their wing and folds it out of reach.

"You don't?"

"No. Whatever gave you that idea."

"Raphael?" Tav ventures.

"What?" The incubus sits up. "As if he wrapped a wing around you to keep you out of reach from one his underlings?"

When Tav turns red instead of answering, Haarlep claps their hand in delight and croons:. "Oooh, he is smitten!"

"Well, if he is, he has a strange way of showing it," Tav grumbles.

"My dear, you may have a rather distorted idea about how devils go about something that may resemble affection. We are creatures of pain and suffering. We strive only to better our own positions. Everything that falls outside of those parameters is affection."

For a moment Tav imitates a surprised fish. In the end they close their mouth and look down at their hands. "Translation to other species is lousy, just saying. And you are not helping."

"Or course not. We are all grown adults here. Not to mention the show is absolutely entertaining and has so many benefits."

"Well, at least one person in this house benefits from it," Tav huffs.

"I am torn, my dear, I truly am. As much as I love to see our poor master suffer like that, I also hate to see you this dejected." Haarlep puts a finger under Tav's chin and raises their head. "Maybe I can find a truly delicious way to give you want without involving him."

Tav snorts. "You can always start with a hug."

"Oh, but for certain." Haarlep opens their arms. "I am all yours."

Tav climbs into the embrace, rests their face against the incubus' shoulder and for a moment, all is well. But soon sneaky fingers slither over Tav's shoulders, writing fiery lines over their clothes.

"No, none of that," Tav mumbles. They squirm but Haarlep takes their job of holding them very seriously.

"But why not," they whisper into Tav's ear. "That is where all the fun is."

"I'm not here for fun, Haarps." Tav manages to push a way a little. "At least not that kind of fun."

"What is in it for you then?" The incubus tilts their head. "And for me?"

"Well. Humans need contact; we're very social. We become unhappy and languish when we are isolated. And I am rather isolated here as you might have noticed." Tav leans back against the incubus. "Hugs are healthy."

"Is that so." Haarlep adjusts a careful grip around the human in their arms. "And what do I get?"

"Another thing to rub Raphael's nose in should he ever notice," Tav mumbles. "Plus, excellent new data on how to seduce a human extended edition - hugs can last for days."

"Never lost for words," Haarlep chuckles. "I see why he likes you. Now you just have to speak the same language."

Tav doesn't point out that learning infernal is very difficult when all you have is books and random fiends that don't slow down and also use vocabulary not listed in the beginner editions.

"That's why you're doing the song and dance thing with me, too, isn't?" They ask instead. "Because Raphael likes those and I am sharing them with you."

"Of course," the incubus agrees readily. "He has a love for words and musics, he has. Raphael frequents the opera houses of many planes, a true patron of the arts."

"And I am sharing this with you."

"Delicious and true." Haarlep tightens their hold. "But nobody forces Raphael to stay away. You are a guest in his very own house, ready to give him anything he asks for."

"He doesn't strike me as the asking type," Tav grumbles.

"He is certainly not. Which makes this all so very delicious." A wing closes around Tav. "Such a naughty little mousling. And since you are hells bent on being bad, so shall I. How is your health?"

"Much improved," Tav mumbles. It's not even a lie. They feel safe and for once, actually welcome and wanted in this house. "Give me five minutes and I should be ready for rehearsal."

# # #

Five minutes stretch out until Haarlep shakes Tav awake because their services are required. The paladin stumbles out of the boudoir, rubbing their eyes. They are just getting their bearings back when Raphael crosses their path.

"On time, I see." He gestures towards the balcony overseeing the Feast Hall.

Tav smiles despite the small desperation forming in their stomach. They slept longer than they thought and now it was too late to get some dinner into their belly before the wine-doused bickering session with Raphael. But the hells will fall before they let this part of their day slip.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Tav leads the way and slips into their comfortable chair. They pour the prepared wine, a blanc de noire that smells like soaked cherries and gooseberries. It will be difficult not to indulge. Raphael is getting their taste in wines down pat.

They watch the devil over the rim of their glass. The straight line of his thin lips curving gently upwards when Raphael catches them stare. Tav returns the smile, unable to rip their eyes away. The candlelight softens the harsh planes of Raphael's face. The hint of a five-o'clock shadow hugs his jaw. Tav wonders how it would feel to put the tip of their index finger into the shallow dent in the devil's chin.

"Anything in particular you want to discus ere we begin?" The words run smoothly from his lips.

There are many things Tav has on their mind but none seem wise to disclose. So they shake their head and reach for one of the books. "I am sure your questionable choices in literature will be enough to fill the evening."

"My choices are questionable?" Raphael stretches his legs and leans back. "I cannot remember losing a single argument against your rather poor interpretations."

"Because your memory sucks," Tav murmurs under their breath.

"I heard that but I will choose to ignore it."

Tav looks up. "No stomach for a fight this early?"

"I prefer your ramblings slightly intoxicated," Raphael agrees. "They are much more unhinged and entertaining that way. Not to mention, easier to lay waste."

"Doesn't make your old-fart traditionalist approach any more palatable."

"I pick my battles," the smile is deceptively gently. "And I pick the ones I will win."

Tav takes a provocative sip of their wine. If Raphael wants unhinged and intoxicated, he can get it. He can get a lot actually, too bad he doesn't want any. They grab the closest book and open a random page.

Time and wine do their job and flush Tav's face and belly with cosy warmth. Raphael watches as those eyes soften and let go of whatever fight it is Tav continuously carries with them. Less conscious of the world and themself, Tav's motions are far flung and slightly clunky. As if the tight control over their limbs left them unsure of what to do without it.

Now and then Tav bounces some body part against the table top or leg and frowns as if the piece of furniture hadn't been there the whole time. And while their words are less polished and the sentences janky, it is easier to see the vast mind behind them, working overdrive to connect to the world on the other side of Tav's head.

If Tav knows, they don't show. The change is slow like a sunrise: the single shades easy to miss, but unmistakable in its entirety. As Tav takes another sip of the carefully chosen wine, Raphael picks his next fight.

"It is cowardice in the end. The narrator doesn't take responsibility for their meandering and self-inflicted misery."

"Still caution," Tav counters and prods the open page with a finger. "They value their friendship and are not willing to give it up, not even for their own happiness."

"And where exactly-"

"Here: O ay, my friend, I watch you still, afar to silence sworn. I wish to say, I stopped myself, but I am much too torn to leave or speak or even seek a glance falling my way and yet I'm bound and cannot run and cannot even stay-" Tav recites.

"Self-made torment," Raphael repeats. "People are excellent at creating unnecessary hells for themselves. Why swear yourself to silence when words can easily resolve the problem?"

"Because friendship." Tav shakes their head. "Worst thing to lose. All the trust and care and commitment. Poof, gone."

"So the narrator is justified in pushing their decision onto the object of their affection?" The devil raises an inquiring brow.

"Did you even read the sonnet?" Tav huffs. "Says here

Please stay a while, my favourite smile, now I have come so far just take my hand in foreign land and tell me who we are.

The narrator made their choice. They're all-in deep in love. They leave it to their friend to set the frame of their interactions. Friendship or love. Both are options."

"It is still cowardice."

"Maybe, but to lose what you have for something that can never be hurts. And it is avoidable."

"Self-styled martyrdom. Withholding information on the grounds the other will know if they care and look close enough."

"Do you really think you can be around somebody so desperately in love and not notice?" Tav snorts.

"You forget yourself." The words cut cold thought the warmth cocooning Tav.

"Maybe I do." Tav drains their glass desperate to change the subject. "Do you ever write poetry yourself?"

"Why do you ask?" The words are warmer than the last but wary.

"Because as critics we have it easy, don’t we? There is no danger in taking apart and judging what others have created. But the writers, the poets, they put parts of themselves out in every piece."

"You want to dissect a part of me? Bold."

"That is not-", Tav stops. In a way, that is exactly what they ask. "Point taken."

"So let me ask you," the devil's voice drops, betraying his curiosity, "do you ever write poetry?"

Tav hopes their flaming blush isn't that visible in the dim light. "Everybody does, don't they? I sure did when I was a teenager." The grimace when Tav remembers those attempts is painful.

"And now?" The words are velvet and whisky. He is tempting them.

"Wanna have yourself enshrined in words?" Tav teases.

"No need for something so fancy, which also, I already have."

Spite flickers in Tav. Unwise and born from wine and embarrassment that makes it even less smart. But they already offended their devil. And tomorrow was the final assault on Zariel's flying fortress. They might not see him again. They might find themself waking up in the clutches of Mephistopheles. Was are a few reckless words in comparison?

"There once was a cambion in hell who thought that he was truly swell but if you get close a shortcoming shows as his incubus will surely tell."

Tav leans back and stares a challenge at the devil on the other side of the table.

But Raphael doesn't take offence. He leans back, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest. "Low hanging Fruit. The best you can do?" He doesn't wait for Tav's answer.

"There is a loudmouth from Baldur's Gate who was way too eager and could not wait their turn for a deal their soul now a steal and them bound to a devil they hate."

"Oh, now it's on," Tav huffs. "I was never and in no way eager to deal with any devil."

Raphael raises his glass and sips expectantly. "A notion obviously too complex to fit the chosen form."

For a moment Tav grinds their teeth. But the self-satisfied smile on Raphael’s face eggs them on.

"There is a paladin, oath-bound and pure who had to deal with devils for sure but back-doors rule they are no fool it is the devils that are caught by their allure."

Tav takes a triumphant sip from their own wine. It glows warm in their belly, suffusing their whole body and the surrounding air with a gentle glow.

While they still imagine how Raphael will take their bait and what confession the next limerick may extract from him, the door is opened carefully.

A devil pokes their head in, eyes wide with fear at disturbing the Master of the House even on his own orders. "The last scouts have returned. We are ready."

A vicious smile spreads over Raphael's face, supplanting the indulgent ease. "As you were." He waves the devil away and stands.

"Alas, as much as I enjoyed our little skirmish, my war cannot wait." His hand makes an unresolved gesture in Tav's direction. "And let me know how it goes for your allure to other devils."

His eyes rake over Tav, stripping them for goods worthy of a deal. What the devil sees, seems to satisfy him and he leaves the human shivering in their chair.

Tav stares at the closed door for along time. What in the nine hells was that? And what had been in the wine to loosen their tongue into such a reckless foray? With nobody to see, Tav's face starts to burn. They reach for the almost empty bottle. Something to drown their thoughts with. They head to bed, intending to sleep of the worst of the embarrassment and intoxication.

# # #

Tav wakes and squirms under the blanket, wondering what pulled them from sleep, when they notice the feeling of a ghostly hand that wanders restlessly over their clit. They inhale sharply.

So much for the devil's promises. Worth nothing. The other ghost hand clasps around their shin and Tav can only imagine where Haarlep's leg goes with the insistent friction inside them raking over their every nerve.

Getting up takes concentration. But the more awake they are, the easier the feelings are to push aside. Tav stumbles queasily into the corridor and makes their way haltingly to the boudoir. They will find out who is allowed to break contract like this and then Tav will confront their sleazy devil with his own lies. What good that will do is uncertain. But with the tension rising in their body, so does Tav's determination not to let this slide.

The house is silent. The quiet before the storm. Tav wonders how long they slept. A last meeting and then battle. Was everybody gone already? Tav doesn't meet a soul on their way to the boudoir, even the voyeur debtor is nowhere to be seen. Tav spies a red figure on the bed with Haarlep, wings spread and working. But the fence breaks up all details.

Despite the fiend on the boudoir being obviously deeply engaged, Tav walks slow and quietly. The gurgle of water from the fountains covers their hitching breath. When a moan slips from their lips at an especially spot-on thrust, Tav stops. They shake, but only partly from the fear of being detected and caught.

The fiend has not noticed their presence though, and moves over Haarlep with viscous need. Tav slinks up to the curtain bound back against the wall to peer at the bed. For a moment, their heart freezes. Haarlep writhes on it in Tav's shape with their back arched. Ecstasy is written over their body in sweat and gasping moans. Their hands reach for the fiend working himself hard, one of Haarlep's legs propped up against his chest.

He leans down to capture Haarlep's borrowed mouth with an angry kiss and Tav finally can make out his face.

Raphael.

Tav jerks back behind the curtain. Trapped in place they cannot make their trembling legs move and slowly, their knees give in. With the pressure building inside them, Tav risks a quick scrabble out of sight and curls up behind one of the opulent beds around the pool. They hug themself tightly as Haarlep comes after taking the devil's ferocious climax.

As soon as the waves of second-hand release start to abate, Tav forces themself up into a shuffling run back to their room. Once out of the boudoir they drop all secrecy and sprint as fast as their trembling body allows.

Locking the door won't hold stop Master of the House, but it gives Tav enough security to curl up on their bed and cry unashamed. A tangle of emotions rolls over them suffused with shame of all flavours. Shame at what they witnessed, shame about the relief that is is Raphael himself, shame at the anger that it is Haarlep, shame at the angry knot in their stomach and the yearning wetness between their legs.

A halting hand moves down and shaking fingers slip into hot and empty folds. Tav tries to relieve their unsatisfied body with their own means but the image of Raphael fucking Haarlep in their shape, the utter greed of it, makes fingers a useless substitute. Tav howls their frustration into their pillow and pulls the blanket over their head.

It settles with unusual weight and the ghost of something hard slips up between their thighs. Tav groans, angry and grateful. The devil cannot get enough and this time, this time Tav will make sure they find their own release. Their fingers burrow back between their legs and Tav raises their hips unconsciously when the after-image of a ridged cock presses down.

#bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael bg3 #raphael x tav #bg3 fanfiction #be my guest #chapter 8 #mel writes fanfic

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