the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
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WIP Wednesday
I'm back with more MLC excerpts!! (sorry I missed the last 2 weeks!)
In honor of it being the 1 year anniversary of my neurosurgery and of my finally being over the sinus infection from hell enough to write, here's an extra long excerpt (. . . and an extra evil cliffhanger? #sorrynotsorry. It will all work out, I promise)!
This is more from the (difanghua) MLC fic where DFS and FDB rescued LLH from the donghai beach after his shiniang tried to sacrifice herself to cure him and he shattered his own heart meridian to stop her.
For anyone who's interested in seeing how I put my analysis from the CPTSD meta into practice via fic writing, enjoy!
(To read earlier excerpts–although it’s not necessary!– you can follow these links to read part 1 (LLH), part 2 (FDB), part 3 (DFS), part 4 (DFS), or part 5 (FDB), or part 6 (LLH). Oh, and another excerpt from a WIP ask (LLH))
TW: panic attack, medical emergency, flashback (nonconsensual medical procedure)
**
He shivered as familiar icy tendrils tore through him, chilling him to the bone.
Damn it.
“Xiaohua? What’s wrong? Is–is this a trick?”
“Xiangyi, what do you need?”
He tapped the three points on his chest that had always controlled these attacks before and slid his hand down.
Nothing happened.
He tried again.
A wet cough ripped itself free and black spots started to crowd in front of his eyes.
Firm hands gripped his shoulder and spun him 90 degrees.
A large palm pressed against his back, radiating a slow, creeping warmth. Familiar callouses returned to his wrist, pushing down far harder than before.
“He needs Yangzhouman into his zhong fu,” a-Fei said, from somewhere close behind his ear. “Now!”
A shaking finger poked his lung meridian, and a sharp pain flared along his collarbone.
“Less than that! Calm your qi if you want him to live,” a-Fei snapped.
“Sorry,” Xiaobao murmured, his breath brushing against his face.
Time crawled like qi through his meridians.
After a few breaths, the chokehold on his lungs began to relax, and the icicles that had replaced his bones began to thaw.
He let his shoulders fall from their perch by his ears, used some of the Yangzhouman to force the Bicha flare back to more manageable levels, and circulated some of the newly introduced Yangzhouman through what remained of his lung meridian, and through his newly reconstructed heart meridian. It did feel sturdier, didn’t it? Thicker than it used to be. As though it had been reinforced–
–his qi battering against the walls of his meridians, desperately trying to–
“Xiangyi? What is it?”
The room suddenly felt far too small. He needed more space, more air, needed this transfer to be done. Immediately. “That’s plenty. You can stop now.”
The thin stream of qi from his back cut out, but the one on his chest pulsed on.
His skin crawled with the need to get up, this instant. “Xiaobao, I said stop. Save some for yourself.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve barely given you any yet.”
Li Lianhua’s hands started to shake. “It’s more than enough.”
“Will you quit lying? I can still see the Bicha lines on your neck.”
That was it. Another second of this and he’d make a break for the door, legs willing or no. “Brat, listen to your shifu.” He flung his arm up to bat Xiaobao’s away.
“Shifu?” His wrist was grabbed before his arm could make contact. “I’m not falling for that again, you old fox. So don’t–” a hard jab to an acupoint,
“even–” a second hit, and he forgot how to breathe,
“try it!”
***
“–Stop fighting it, Xiangyi. Listen to Shiniang. Please, let me save you!”
“I said, let me GO.” He lashed his qi against his acupoints again, with more force than any blow he’d leveled before, even at his shixiong at the end. The reinforced structures started to shake. Just one more hit, that’s all it would take, and then–
“–Fang Duobing! What did you do?” “N-nothing! I just–”
“Undo it! Now!”
“But he was about to–”
“NOW!”
Li Xiangyi blasted his qi against the obstruction with all his strength.
There was a loud crash, the sound of splintering wood.
A wet, pained gasp from somewhere far in front of him.
“Fang Duobing!”
“I’m fine. Xiaohua, are you ok? Say something!”
Why did Xiaobao sound so pained?
Li Lianhua blinked his eyes open to a blurry haze.
But he didn’t need clear vision to recognize Xiaobao’s silhouette–
–slammed against the cabinets–
–with red spreading around him.
“Xiaobao,” he gasped, and tried to stumble out of bed.
“A-Fei, don’t let him–”
The world tilted wildly.
A hand pressed against his chest.
“Xiangyi, don’t you fucking dare di–”
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James and Barty were each other’s first crushes, and only Peter knew.
James nor Barty even noticed the way they acted around each other. But Peter did.
He saw the way James unconsciously ran a hand through his unkept hair when Barty approached. He saw Barty arranging himself “cooler” (e.g. leaning against a wall, etc) when he noticed James.
Peter never got to tell either of them.
He found it funny at first. But after the two of them started at Hogwarts and started, slowly, unconsciously, growing apart. Peter didn’t know what would help. If anything would help.
He kept it under lock and key. He never said anything.
He talked to Barty even after James severed ties with him. Just because James was one of his best mates didn’t mean he had to do everything he did.
Sometimes, he wondered what would happen if he had told them. If that would make them grow together once again, or if he would just make the space between them worse.
Peter thought of both of them as he died, his silver hand tightening on his throat as James’ face floated across his mind.
He didn’t deserve to think of him, and he tried to push it away. But after a brief fight with his own mind, he gave himself the tiniest bit of mercy. He was dying. Might as well think of all of his life regrets with the last seconds of his being.
Thinking of Barty hurt less. Barty had made his choice. It was the wrong choice, yes, but it wasn’t Peter’s fault. That disgusted him to think about, but so did the majority of his thoughts these days.
Only one thought came to the forefront of his mind.
He never got to tell them.
They would never know.
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