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#betrayed by my own mans
moongothic · 6 months
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We all know how a lot of Luffy's opponents have been in some ways premonitions of the type of person Luffy could end up as if something went wrong in his life. For example Moria is what Luffy could've become had he truly lost his entire crew at Sabaody if Kuma had not saved them
And we know Crocodile is what Luffy maybe could've become had Luffy given up on his dreams and become jaded after losing to him. But like, when you think about it, that's not the only dark reflection of Luffy in Crocodile, is it
'Cause Crocodile, despite employing people for Baroque Works, did not trust anyone around him and did not considder anyone to be anything else but an employee to him. And we know he had been planning on taking over Alabasta for like 14 years (at the very least), BW being a thing for only the past four (pre-timeskip)
So like. Did Crocodile spend the last 14 years alone
Like yes he had his workers at the Casino and Robin etc, so he was like, around people, he wasn't like Brook who was in Total Isolation. But on an emotional level, has he not spent the last 14 years all by himself, completely detached from anyone, unable to trust or rely on anyone else?
That is sad as fucking shit, holy hell
'Cause then you compare him to like Luffy and like
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Our sweet baby boy was so afraid of being alone that Luffy literally went through hell just to gain Ace's approval despite Ace trying to signal to him he wasn't interested befriending him
And through out the whole series Luffy reiterates time and time again how he needs and wants his friends around because he literally can't live without them, both on a literal "he can't cook or navigate or have fun by himself" level but also on that emotional level
And Crocodile just. Spent 14 years of his life, if not longer, alone.
Sweet jesus what happened to this man
And that just makes me further wonder, what the absolute fuck were Crocodile's Rookie Pirate days like?? Like did he have a crew or was he just yolo'ing it by himself???
Like. Mihawk's never been on a crew as far as we know. Kuma was a Revolutionary, not a pirate, but he wasn't like alone still. Doflaming, Hancock, Jinbei and Moria however have/had crews of their own. So what was Crocodile's deal? Did he have a crew before? Was he a captain or was he on someone else's ship? (Although surely the Government wouldn't offer the position of a Shichibukai to a cabin boy or the first mate, right)
And if he did have a crew, the hell happened to them??
Like we know Crocodile got his ass kicked by Whitebeard, I just find it unlikely Whitebeard would've pulled a Kaidou on Crocodile's crew and slaughtered them, that's not a very Whitebeard-y thing do, right?? ...Unless Whitebeard was just different 20+ years ago and was willing to annihilate entire crews. We don't know. Or maybe Crocodile and his entire crew were like Turbo Rotten from the beginning and Whitebeard figured they deserved to get wiped out, much like how we saw Shanks wipe out Kid's crew at Elbaf. Or maybe Whitebeard saw no reason to have mercy on someone affiliated with the World Government.
That all said, if we wanted to assume Crocodile had somekind of trauma that lead to him viewing people not only as disposable but also untrustworthy, then maybe losing people dear to him like that wouldn't lead to that mindset. Like Moria witnessed his beloved crew die and that caused him to want to create a crew he couldn't die, so he wouldn't go through that emotional trauma again.
Which leaves me to wonder. If something caused him to lose his ability to (emotionally) trust people, and if Whitebeard broke his dreams... Maybe Crocodile had a crew. And maybe they abandoned him when he lost to Whitebeard. Figuring they didn't need a weak captain who was probably going to bleed to death anyways. Or maybe the crew tried to take his head (after Whitebeard kicked his ass), after all, he was already a Shichibukai, anybody who took Crocodile's head could maybe attempt to take that title for themselves if the Government allowed it, and if not, at least gain more fame for themselves.
Either of these scenarios would certainly result in you losing your ability to rely on others. And leave you willing to spend the rest of your life alone. Who would have in them to go through that again.
Or maybe he came out of the womb unable to trust people and he was just yolo'ing it by himself like Mihawk right from the begining, who knows
Regardless I'm just
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tiredsurvivoronmain · 12 days
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*smacks WIP on the desk and leaves* (also HC that Wesker doesn't really blush in his cheeks much but his ears will go very red when he's angry, flustered or embarrassed)
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waroferas · 28 days
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(trying not to run head-first into the nearest wall) ravio is cool . i like ravio
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canongf · 4 months
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i just found out that my dad and his best friend have been talking about how they think all my dreams are stupid and unrealistic and how they think i’ll never be able to do anything on my own and i don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know.
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twinkdemise · 3 months
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#iasip#mac macdonald#s3e11 dennis looks like a registered sex offender#just rewatched this episode. god it's so good definitely in my top 10 overall in the show#the dinner scene my forever beloved i hold you close to my heart. it's so insanely satisfying from a writing perspective.#the way it all ties together and even though it's a scene about a dinner being fucking ruined and its got these#relatively high emotional stakes its so so. neatly written that it ends up feeling cathartic? in a way#idk what im saying man that scene's just really good#something about mac and charlie's scheme and motivations clashing with their parents' (and franks)#and them being kind of forced to reckon with the fact that their parents are real people with their owns wants and needs#(especially mac charlie ends up using this to his advantage and kind of betraying mac ig)#also a scene that emotional ending with a shot of charlie going Ohh and the seed has been planted is wild.#also mac being so worried about the fact that the vibe might be off... DO YOU WANT FLAT AMBIANCE???#he just wants things to be normal!! he just wants a normal nice dinner party and normal parents who are together and happy and love eo!!#also there's a motif that shows up repeatedly of him wanting to seem like a good dinner host lol just kind of noticed that idk#maybe reading into this too much but god the theme of him so often being in denial of reality in order to#live up to certain societal standards and achieve normalness.#this is kind of the first (and imo one of the best) episodes with a plot line about mac's relationships with his parents#and their family dynamic in general which i find so so fascinating.#also i think this is the only time (except for the christmas video) where we see mac's parents together.#on a lighter note ig the dinner scene has so many other great quotes... charlies so funny in it#the man doesnt blink mom the man doesnt blink!!#the charmac in this episode was so excellent in general. the car scene where they freak out and become convinced luthers going to kill them.#YOU DONT DO THAT! YOU DONT EAT SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE HEROIN IN THEIR ASS!!#i do rmbr watching this ep with my dad and him going Well that one was just kind of sad.#which.... i mean yeah. real.#thats it im done i think#also i ended up having to type all this in my notes bc tumblr tagging is so painful#what if i said smth and then went Hey i want to say that a bit differently? oh? youre just straight up not gonna let me do that. oh okay.#fuck you
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socksandbuttons · 28 days
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IM SCREAMING UYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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helianthus21 · 10 months
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Whenever Cha-young has a task for the fam that nobody wants to do, she opens with "Vincenzo said he needs his best man for this" and at least 4 people will fall over each other trying to get the job
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derangedthots · 5 months
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recently got into a ship from another fandom bc of a very specific and absolutely phenomenal longfic (no srsly...it was life-changing) where one of the main romantic driving conflicts was "ass so good it drove him insane" and like, god i respect it so much
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catcze · 6 months
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I'm cursed with incredible period cramps as a penalty for having such a mind blowing, life changing puss- [is overcome by cramps and falls down]
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chongoblog · 1 year
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It's Valentines Day and since I'm single I have been thinking about my OC's and how I ship them and I might want to Gush about them, so I'm putting up a short-length poll to determine the level of priority for each one. I'll put a brief summary of each one in the tags if you want some context to influence your decision
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chasing-chimeras · 1 year
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bonesrbleaching · 20 days
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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yeonban · 2 months
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i'M VIBRATING ON MY SEAT. This is EXACTLY the topic of a meta I wanted to write about on how Soma's upbringing severely affected how dear the Date became to him after his family's deaths and sudden reign to power
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rigberts · 3 months
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God if I had any balls I would shoot every yaoi ship I write for with my estrogen beam and not give a single word of explanation
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dreamcast-official · 4 months
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UGH
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hiratelier · 5 months
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Many thoughts running through my head as I prepare to upload my last UTAU cover of the year because I'll barely touch the silly singing robot program next year when I have more exciting things to work on...but even then it feels like you're saying goodbye to a close friend you've been with for almost 9 years
#mine#text#currently i am trying to finish a cover for my utaus' 9th anniversary next year and man#the spark for making robots singing usually isn't there nowadays but when it comes to my own utaus#god it does feel nice working on something!#this entire year i've been pumping out covers that first started as an outlet for my creativity#but then halfway into the year i kept getting into creative ruts and it was frustrating because i only limited myself to one outlet#so discovering animatics...gaining new interests...and picking up new skills has helped me branch out from utau significantly#but i will say that using utau bestow me lots of skills that will prove useful beyond just making utau content#i guess working on this one cover helped me reflect on that some more...but god it's kinda making me emotional#even most of my friends who used utau back in the good old days have moved on to other things now and i'm sort of in that boat...#it's not too fun trying to enjoy utau by yourself but honestly i think it all boils down to the fact that i was forcing myself to--#--enjoy using utau constantly. and that spark to create new covers just dies out.#i suppose that coming back to utau once in a long while to work on something nicd amidst working on other projects is something that's--#--more healthy for me yknow? i know i'm sort of betraying my utau-oriented audiences on youtube and bilibili with the way i've been slowly-#--moving away from utau and uploading other kinds of media and interests#but i'm opening up a new chapter for myself in making more oc media and animatics and they're more than welcome to stay along for the ride#i think i'm running into tangents at this point but what i'm trying to say is that for me uploading utau covers weekly was draining#and with me moving away to other projects and not being too hard on myself...my creative drive is slowly coming back#and maybe once in a while my creative spark for using utau apart from anniversary reasons will come back better than ever#and i will try to keep my own utaus alive as ocs apart from singing robot shenanigans and diffsinger development#it is a hobby i enjoy for myself after all and its not supposed to be a chore
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