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nikethestatue · 2 years

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I fall in love with elain in ACOMAF when she tells cassian ‘’ it was not nesta’s neglect alone that is to blame. We were scared, and had received no training, and everything had been taken, and we failed her. Both of us.

For me the fact that she accepted her mistake in front of fae was so brave of her. I fall in love with her in that chapter she wanted to help feyre she knows she did wrong and wants to repay feyre because she gave and gave for years

Putting that a side we learn that it was not fear that keep nesta from helping but her hate. She hated his dad so much that it was eating her alive and I have forgive and understand nesta it must had been really hard for her to move on from that hate. We learn on acosf that nesta feels guilty and that she loves feyre

Now with elain we know it was not hate but actually fear. She said “we were scared” the tremblin fawn and fanged beast. Elain was so scared that the fear probably paralyzed her from helping feyre, this is just what I think is the reason elain didn’t help feyre (fear) of all of them elain was more scared of the fae. I also think elain was scared of killing any living creature she probably was scared of haunting. I think is amazing to see she went from I dont know how to get my hand dirty to let me kill the king of hybern our lovely fawn is showing her fanged beast side

Maybe it was no fear this is just what i think is the reason she didn’t help. I think one of the biggest question in acotar is: why Feyre sister didn’t help her? Anyway what do you believe it was elain reasons? Of course they main guilty are their parents but I really wanna hear elain side

Love ur blog it has an amazing energy ��️

Thank you! I appreciate that.

So I think that it's fairly simple--while Nesta was angry, especially at her father (her resentment of Feyre has never been well explained, so I don't want to tackle that), I think in Elain's case, it was a matter of simple...acceptance? She is obviously not an angry person, so I think that she basically just accepted her new reality. We all do. I am not sure how deeply SJM thought of this, but from my personal experience--I've lived in a lot of countries, and in various conditions. There were times when we were extremely poor and ate nothing but beans and there were times where we were well off. And as you begin to exist in whatever the situation is, you begin to adapt. And I think that's what Elain is about--adaptability. I can see her not thinking that she needed to help, because that was Feyre's 'job' and her job was taking care of the house. Feyre was 'the hunter' and Elain was 'the gatherer' -- obviously someone had to tend to the house, cook and clean and patch clothes and get water from the well and keep the fire going and do laundry and everything else. She and Nesta did that. The father couldn't, so everything fell on their shoulders.

It's very very obvious reading ACOTAR that SJM herself has never been hungry or poor. She comes from a nice, well-off, privileged background and notions of what true poverty is and what it takes to survive EVERY DAY are very removed from her. So she took the most basic of acts that she was familiar with--hunting--and basically made that the only 'important' action that the heroine could do. Something 'active' and of course something that led to the development of the rest of the story. But in reality, Feyre resented her sisters because she had to go and hunt, though of course they still did a ton of work at home. But that's the problem with the first person narrative. You only see one side of the coin.

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imaradiocure · 1 year

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The worst day of my life

Reaching over to your side of the bed, I expected to feel you beside me

I was jolted awake because you were not there

At the time I had no idea how 'The Reach' would haunt me for years in the twilight between sleep and wake

I'd continue to reach but I'd never find you.

I got up from bed and peered out into the living room, thinking maybe you'd fallen asleep on the couch or had gotten up early

and how niave of me it was, but I didn't yet know that this was the worst day of my life.

I think I called your name, but I can't be sure as panic set it and things became a little hazy at this point.

I found you in the bathroom. You were unresponsive. I didn't know what happened but as I tried to wake you, you didn't respond.

I remember looking down on us in the bathroom, with what was likely your dead body, but my brain did not accept that. You couldn't be gone. Not my Nick. Not my love.

I heard your voice from all around me say, "I'm so sorry," it was loud but it didn't come from your mouth. Maybe it was an auditory hallucination. The brain does strange things in the face of extreme stress and trauma.

I darted for a phone, but I couldn't find mine. I was so fucking panicked and scared and alone. I found your phone and dialed 911.

Things become more hazy. I knew this was an overdose because I saw the spoon in the bathroom. I told the operator it was heroin, the toxicology report would later say it was morphine.

I had to do CPR and the 911 operator instructed me but I failed. I failed you. I couldn't stop sobbing, hyperventilating. I was trying, but I was no good. I couldn't help you and I couldn't breathe either.

The paramedics arrived and I rushed to unlock the doors. I dont really know what happened after. They took you to the living room I think and I was sat in the bedroom. I was quietly sitting in shock, I kept asking if you were going to be okay. The female officer told me she didn't know yet.

They asked me questions and I dont remember what. They pronounced you dead and the doctor came to tell me and I kicked and I screamed "No! We were supposed to get married!" and other things, but I can't remember what they were. An officer may have been restraining me.

One of the many officers combing through my home asked if I wanted to go outside for fresh air or a cigarette and I must have agreed. I was in pajama shorts, so I went to my closet to grab a coat when officers panicked because they didn't want me unsupervised. Maybe they thought I was hiding drugs. Maybe they thought I was a danger. I don't know.

I stood outside shaking, blank, empty, in shock. In shorts and an open jacket in mid February in South Dakota.

I remember a male officer say something to the effect of "you look like you're doing alright"

I don't think I looked at him. I did not respond. I had already shut down. The female officer asked me if I could call someone, my mother. I tried to give the number but I guess I gave my own phone number. I was very confused. As I said, I had shut down.

Somehow they reached her and she came to get me from the home I had shared with my fiance. I was stone cold and silent until I saw her, hugged her, and broke down into wails and sobs. Before we left the female officer told me I was not going to be charged with anything, which hadn't even occured to me as a possibility.

For months I did nothing but sit or lay on my mother's couch. Sometimes I didn't recognize where I was. I couldn't look in the mirror. I couldn't eat. I couldn't exist. All I wanted was to go with him. I didn't want to be here without him.

People who pretended to be friends came and went. Family members collected my pets and belongings from the house I shared with my fiance. I couldn't return. I paid another month or two worth of rent just to avoid going back and tying up those loose ends.

I lost friends over 10 years long because I was "too sad to be around"

I was angry

I was empty

Nothing felt good. Nothing tasted good. Nothing felt like anything except for his absence.

I would have sudden panic attacks and freak out in a totally quiet home. The only way I could curb these was to observe my cats and note that they were sleeping calmly and therefore there must be no immediate danger. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't.

I thought a lot about suicide. I thought it was unfair for my friends and family to expect me to live in the debilitating pain just so they didn't have to suffer losing me. I should exist in the pits of hell to spare them the very grief I was lost in. It seemed so unfair.

There was no hope. There was nothing to live for. I was a shell. I either felt nothing at all or extreme emotions - anger or grief. I said extreme things to people in the deepest depths and I cut ties wherever need be.

Grief was like poison inside of me. I had a toxicity in my thoughts and speech. I had a skewed perspective and no one had it as bad as me. No one could truly understand my loss and pain and the trauma of finding the person I loved most dead on the worst day of my life.

I went crazy sometimes. I had brief periods of psychosis. I would run out of my house in fear and hide in bushes blocks away. Fear of what? I don't really know. I felt trapped and I needed to go.

Grief is a shapeshifter and it never really leaves.

It doesn't get 'better' it just changes and morphes into different contortions. Maybe we get better at carrying the weight over time. I'm not sure.

It's been six years and three days. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, the day of his viewing 6 years ago.

I still ache. I still get angry. I still love. I still yearn. I still have nightmares. I still feel cheated. Every so often, I still reach for him in the twilight of wake and sleep.

Nothing will ever fix it. Nothing will ever make it better. There's no remedy. No healing potion. No spell or ritual. Just ache. I will ache.

As I continue to live, I will only collect more grief and you will too.

Life is an endless collection of loss.

#grief #grieving #loss #widow #trauma #fiance #personal #writing #text #my story #bpd #borderline #abandonment #psychosis #complicated grief #ptsd

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triviareads · 1 year

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i just came by to say that i absolutely love love love charlotte! i went scrolling thru ur tumblr for crumbs of anything she says and i realised the reason why i love her so much is because she's me if i was 10x better lol. the quote where she says "i simply learned to think faster'' is extraordinary—i was also a quiet kid when i was younger, not because i was shy, but because i was cautious. however, unlike charlotte, nowadays, my tongue is more thorny than silver (in the wise words of taylor swift, "my words shoot to kill when i'm mad").

i also really love charlotte's pragmatism (i am nothing in my soul, if not a realist) which is balanced by her determination. she knows what she wants (literally cannot wait to see charlotte x clairmont again) and i've always regarded ambition quite highly. i like that she is almost a medium between the two groups that women invariably seemed to be placed in. she is not a "menace" to the ton because she understands, quite frankly, the uselessness of being one. nevertheless, she is not a "simpering debutante" either but nor does she discredit them (there's a lovely quote by the actress who plays mrs bennet in the 2005 pride and prejudice where she acknowledges the general dislike for her character in contrast to the love for mr bennet but she reminds the audience that he will never understand the issue with his daughters being unmarried because the issue only arises after his death (also what are your thoughts on romances written during that era? i.e. jane austen, charlotte bronte etc)).

bridgerton tends to lean into the very optimistic idea that marriages are only made on the basis of love (or in many cases, lust) and all loose ends tie themselves up - while i do love that idea (however unrealistic), it is so refreshing to see someone talk about the more realistic aspects of why marriages transpired in that era. honestly, even if i was as highly ranked as charlotte, i'd still be looking to marry a duke (or even, a prince lol). (i also find it quite interesting that you mention that amelia has a "rake" for a husband because it never even crossed my mind that some "rakes" may never "reform" - look at the delusions hr novels have me believing lmaoo).

i am very intrigued by politics, especially the intricate machinations of royal courts (if you've got any ya fantasy court/political intrigue recs, send them my way!), so i love the idea that a historical romance mc (she's not very HR, i must admit, but still) dabbles in politics. we do, of course, see a lot of suffragette-y feminism in novels but i echo your sentiment that systemic, stable change can be wrought in different ways. i also really enjoy your interweaving of historical facts and events - i feel like i learn a lot when authors do that, simply because my curiosity must be satiated and i end up spending a lot more time in wikipedia than the actual book lol.

sorry this was so long, i ended up ranting jksfghk but in conclusion, i love your characterisation of charlotte a lot.

(if you have any next gen bridgerton fics recs or know of any characters like charlotte (dont mind genre), tell me - i have a chasm in my soul to fill!!) OH AND if you have a charlotte snippet, i am ready to eat it up

Wow, first off, thank you. And bear with me, I'm about to give a rant in return 😂

So the backstory on Charlotte is that my first iteration of her was written in the summer of 2021. I was in a period of being annoyed by "relatable" heroines and just how unremarkable they came off as. Obviously I'm not pro-#girlboss but I wanted more... knowing heroines? Or a heroine who recognized that the full extent of her capabilities would never be appreciated in this era (in this case because she wants to be a politician) so she finds workarounds to exert her power and influence. So I wrote Charlotte due to a combination of spite for existing headcanons about her, as well as some influence from Gore Vidal's character, Caroline Sanford. Since then, I've read a lot more historical romances beyond Julia Quinn, and it's really opened me up to all kinds of HR heroines, ones who neither fall into the "menace" bucket nor the "simpering debutante" bucket.

Regarding Bridgerton's optimistic viewpoint on love and marriages, I mean, that's generally the hallmark of the HR genre. It's just, the Bridgertons come off as particularly sanctimonious about it, like making only love marriages makes them morally superior to the rest of the ton. That being said, Charlotte is not... really the exception to the rule. By the last chapter of The Courtship of Charlotte Bridgerton, you'll basically read them admitting that it was something like love at first sight. The difference is, Charlotte doesn't go into her marriage blind about her husband's sexuality, and nor is she entirely unaware of her own, and by virtue of the agreement she and Clairmont come to before they marry, she is able to explore her sexuality after marriage as well.

I actually think a character like Charlotte could be very HR, except I personally haven't read books with heroines quite like this, particularly in the sexual sense. I've read a couple politically aware heroines (most recently in Ana María and The Fox, and before that in The Duke Gets Even), as well as a few who had never married but not virgins (see: Sarah MacLean's Hell's Belles series, in which Sesily and Adelaide both had prior sexual experience before meeting the heroes, as well as Nellie from Joanna Shupe's Fifth Avenue Rebels series and Sera from The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham). What I think we could stand to see more of are unapologetically scheme-y heroines (the heroine in Sherry Thomas's The Luckiest Lady in London came the closest), and also heroines that are generally less apologetic about their sexuality and expressing themselves sexually. Possibly not just with their hero either.

Regarding the whole reformed rake thing, I mean, some authors do it better than others. Lisa Kleypas's St. Vincent is, to me, a masterclass on how a rake is "reformed" without Evie basically having to beg him to or chase him down. Grace Callaway does a few of them well, although I wonder if they'd even qualify as rakes, or just men with strong sexual appetites. When I wrote Amelia's depressing backstory, I was very much in my "the reformed rakes make the best husbands thing is bullshit" era. I'm a little more ambivalent now since I've read better HR.

As for my thoughts on Austen and the Bronte sisters and whatnot, I mean, I've read a handful of Austen books, which I enjoyed (honestly, Northanger Abbey was the most fun to read, Persuasion made me cry in a good way, and Pride and Prejudice had its moments but I think I like the movie more lol). I've read Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights for class, and didn't particularly enjoy them. Like I'm not going to moralize on the *dastardliness* of Rochester or Heathcliff, but they didn't super do it for me either. I'm more of a North and South girlie because I liked it was a little more explicit about the romance of it all compared to, say, P&P. And genre-wise, this makes sense. Austen wrote very genteel novels of manners, and N&S was an update in some senses, and I liked exploring this new setting of an industrializing England. Which echoes my feelings on historical romances in many ways, namely, I feel like setting historical romances in the Victorian era during this period of industrialization really allows authors to branch out of ballroom stories. They can also interact with a wider world (thanks modernized modes of travel and also, imperialism), and the potential for exploring feminist and multi-racial/cultural themes is greater.

Regarding the politics and feminism of it all, another part of what drove me to write Charlotte was just me being irritated by the faux-feminism characters like Eloise Bridgerton, and to a lesser extent Evie Dunmore heroines espoused. For Eloise especially, her ambitions to attend university will never be realized and quite frankly it's anachronistic, and as for Evie's heroines, it feels like their "feminism" only goes so far before the romance supersedes it. Charlotte is aware of her limitations, but the problem is, even the time period I'm writing her in doesn't allow for her to do a lot of work, but a generation later, I imagine she would be a bit more outspoken about women's property rights and divorce and custody rights and whatnot. Suffrage would basically be seen as a goal to slowly work towards because compared to the other things, I doubt many women would see it as an *immediate* right.

Anyway so, recs. None of these books really have heroines who want to be politicians or political hostesses, but they all have political causes they care about. Also, note how all of these are set in different periods of the Victorian era rather than the Regency:

Ana María and The Fox by Liana De la Rosa: Ana María's father is a part of the Juarez government-in-exile during the French invasion of Spain, which is why she's sent to England with her sisters in part to act as goodwill ambassadors. The hero in this book wants to expand the Seward-Lyons Treaty in order for Britain to more forcefully disavow slavery, something Ana believes in strongly as well.

The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe: Nellie actively distributes contraception to lower-class women who can't afford it in direct defiance of the Comstock Laws. She (somewhat unwittingly) becomes a poster child for pro-contraception advocacy by the end.

Glory and the Master of Shadows by Grace Callaway: Glory's father trying to pass anti-opium legislation, or legislation that would make trading for opium illegal. This is during the period in between the Opium Wars in China, I believe. Glory also believes strongly in this, and the hero Wei's work is largely centered around helping those with opium addictions.

As for unapologetically scheme-y heroines, I don't think you can do better than The Luckiest Lady in London by Sherry Thomas. Louisa's scheming thought process to get the richest husband possible is refreshing to read, and the chemistry with the hero Felix is pretty damn great in part because they both recognize similar qualities in one another right off the bat (in that, they are the schemers, and kind of the worst. A little).

Also, if you want a political romance (based on Lady Cowper/Lord Palmerston), I recently wrote an original short story called Interregnum.

I... honestly don't have any Bridgerton next-gen fic recs only because I have very set ideas on what I want to see in them so I don't really venture outside this particular bubble. That being said, if you want to read a short fic from Clairmont's point of view the night he meets Charlotte, I wrote Where I may feel the throbs of your heart or rest upon your hip a couple months ago.

#bridgerton #bridgerton next gen #charlotte bridgerton #fic recs #book recs #liana de la rosa #grace callaway #joanna shupe #historical romance #ask

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gale-gentlepenguin · 3 years

Text

Okay so Angsty idea.

Luka gets called to be viperion again to fight an akuma. And sure enough they defeat the akuma but he screws up and lets slip her identity in front of her just as he was handing his miraculous back to her. (Not exactly being the best at lying) he tried to cover up that it was a slip up but Ladybug wasnt buying it.

He covered his mouth. But Marinette/Ladybug was not fooled.

"You knew." She mouthed, her voice barely audible.

Luka had seen Marinette upset, but this look in her eyes was something different.

He looked down.

"Yes. I knew" He confessed.

Ladybug was clutching her yo-yo. The grip looked liked it could crush the signature weapon of the heroine.

"When we fought wishmaker." She stated. She figured it out quickly.

"No one else..."

"You lied to me!" Ladybug shouted.

The musician tried to speak up but stopped as she continued.

"I trusted you to protect my identity and you lied about knowing." Ladybug spoke. "You lied right to my face!"

Luka felt his stomach crinkle every time she said that word.

"I chose you because I thought i could trust you, that if something did go wrong you would tell me! But you broke my trust!" Ladybug stated with her eyes welling up. This was such a betrayal to her. Luka didnt need to listen to her heart to understand that. He knew that he failed her.

"You dont know how much this secret meant... You dont know how dangerous it is..."

"Thats why I didnt mention it."

Ladybug looked at him.

"I could see how stressed you were! You are just a stressed teenager! I didnt want you freaking out over nothing. I said your secret was safe and it is! So is Chat noir's!" Luka answered back. "Yes I hated lying to you but it is what you needed."

Ladybug's earrings blinked and her transformation undone. Marinette's expression changed.... She was even madder.

"You dont know anything of what I need."

Luka matched her gaze.

"Maybe if you let me in earlier we could have..."

Marinette's eyes went wide.

"Are you serious right now?!"

Luka realized too late that now was not the time to talk about their failed relationship.

"I didnt..."

"No no, lets talk about THAT right now." Marinette anger was rising.

Her Kwami tried to intervene.

"Marinette... maybe this isn't the best topic to talk about."

"No, lets get this out of the way now. Lets air it all out." Marinette said as she shoved a macaroon into her kwami's hands for her to eat.

Luka was not prepared for the words to come.

"Our relationship was a mess."

"Yes because of..."

"Not because of the ladybug stuff."

Luka blinked at that. He was not expecting that.

"Oh sure me being Ladybug did cause me run out on our dates, hide that secret from you which resulted in your akumatization and our split. But even if it didnt, we wouldnt have stayed together that much longer."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Luka, I called you adrien on a phone call. I had forgotten about our movie date, Twice! I forgot you and Juleka shared a birthday until Alya changed plans from going to a movie with her to a party on the boat."

"Right because of..."

"I know Adrien's fifth names day."

Luka stopped.

"I could tell you Adrien's schedule for the next week down to the hour."

Marinette calmed down a bit.

"I know because I wanted to know as much as I could about him. I wanted to understand him better then anyone else. I never tried to do that for you. I dont think I ever could."

The words hung in the air for a moment. Luka was reeling from them before getting hit again.

"So me telling you may have delayed the inevitable, out of a sense of devotion, duty, loyalty maybe. But we both know who had my heart. Either you would have broken up with me because I wasnt willing to move on or I would have done it out of guilt. And if that did happen, I would have had solace knowing that you wouldnt have shared my identity out of anger."

The blue haired guitarist understood, the tone of her heart and her words were in complete harmony as she said that.

"But now I have no idea what to think of you!"

Luka felt that comment stab him in the back.

"Marinette..."

"You violated my trust. You destroyed any good memories I had of you! How can I know what you said was true? You claim to value the truth so much yet you lied to my face!"

Each word was another slash at his heart.

"I will find a new snake hero, someone I can trust. Good bye Luka." She turned away and started walking away.

Luka tried to reach out to her.

"Please Marinette... I am sorry."

Marinette stopped. She turned around, looking at him with an ice cold glare.

"If you ever cared about me, dont ever speak to me again and dont every get akumatized."

Luka watched as Marinette transformed and left him on the roof. Alone to process the exchange.

He knew he hated lying for a reason.

#ml ficlet #angst #lukanette angst #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #post wishmaker

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mde1011 · 3 years

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when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

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hohoz · 3 years

Text

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise.

But let’s explain why is that:

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad.

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away.

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary)

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake.

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall.

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story.

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that)

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog)

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this:

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue.

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this:

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening.

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ?

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore)

RESIDENT EVIL 5

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this:

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit.

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles.

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE.

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US.

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life.

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time.

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event)

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex

So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab”

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character.

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game.

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS.

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that.

So now let’s analyse what we know:

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse...

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this:

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model)

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that”

But still...

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8

(to me this is some random dude from Russia)

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER)

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices.

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations)

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy.

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old.

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

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pencilhattopy · 3 years

Text

wOW!!!! A HEADCANON ABOUT A CHARACTER THAT NOT COMMONLY APPEAR ALOT BUT THERES CONNECTION WITH A MATSUNO BROTHERS AND THAT MAKE EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH HIM FOR SOME REASON!?!?!??!??!?!?!?! sure :D

just to be note this out, im not good with headcanon and such so im trying my best for you epic anon! ^^)/ also had to put on read more bcus its VERY LONG LOL

Its so obvious that he seems very popular at school..... but not too much than Totoko. Because I see that Totoko shows mostly popular bcus of her appearance and her fake heroine behavior in the movie but on the other side Yanagida is quite popular not just his looks, it probably because his parents are part of celebrity (like athlete celebrity kinda type) so everyone knows about him about his family and thats it.

Even hes popular, he can get use to hanging out to anyone who wants to, even though he don’t want to. I MEAN.... he likes hanging out with friends but he knows that friends really attach to him so hard it annoys him and also everyone kinda love that guy so he prefer to go out like 2 or 3 groups he can lol.

I think his fav group friends he hang out when Ichimatsu and Atsushi is there. Thats why he appear two times in the movie JHDKJNF

Even though he looks like he can do any sports he can, but I can hc that he also love to do art. Like painting, photography, cooking,,,, or maybe he can sing or something casual idk HHHFHH talented motherfucker

His jealousy on sextuplets is shows. But no one notice lol. the way he said like “It’s not like I hate them it just its hard to deal with them when they all together.” seems like it for me. Maybe bcus he dont have any chance to get along with his family bcus parents and siblings busy with work and college such.

oh yeah i can hc him that hes the youngest sibling. he has 2 brothers and 1 sister. his sister is married.

bcus his family is busy, he also busy for the school, and prepare to move out and his future college. he had to eat leftovers or foods from convenience store for dinner.

he likes Totoko at first but then he realised maybe totoko not into him on high school. in high school reunion he didnt expected totoko reaction when he said she look cute and then he was like “Huh....ok” idk why i want to put this one tho

he had develop feelings for Ichimatsu but he refused to believe it at first. he finally realized it was internalized homophobia when hes adult and thats my hc of his regret of his memory!!!!!!! ICHI

When he trying to remember why he fall for Ichi for and then he remembers one time they high five so hard they squished their hands together. He realized his the way he had crush on him is stupid.

He notice Ichimatsu changed alot. I mean when they adult i meAN LOL so he notice that Ichi don’t want to interact to Yana but don’t know the reason but don’t want to force him atm. He don’t want to leave him alone because he want to get closer with Ichi so he decided to sit next to him, like old times, without the high five or talk to him. Its getting awkward if it just two of them lloljknjknkNJKD

i thought its cute to put this but Yana would put his jacket on Ichi if he fell asleep next to him :) :) :) :) like he fell sleep on his shoulder I can feel that Yanagida’s heart is blooming like a flower ^^

oH YEAH bcus hes good looking he knows girls attracted to him even though hes not into girls too much. He dated a lot of girls when he was high school and/or college before he gay thoughts

he secretly dated a guy before! but his ex-bf seems to like someone else and Yana is fine to breakup before his ex decided to cheat on him. :/

he gotta be closeted to his family and his high school friends bcus he can imagine that everyone being homophobic on him and he hate to feel like that (he really want to coming out to ichimatsu bcus of crush thing but he’s weak if Ichimatsu started to disgust on him) he only out to his friends from gay bar! :D

he literally sexual fluidity when he was questioning himself either if hes bi or gay and he finally call himself gay after he had deep talk with his recent friends (lgbt-friendly)

ok im kinda done with his gay hc jNBKDJK lets move on his fav thing!! hes very good taking care of children bcus of his newphews and nieces and he probably had a cat and/or dog! I did a comic about he have a cat name King before so KJBFDJKB

he probably good with fighting and racing games.

did i mention he can cook? One time I hc that hes took culinary arts if he got stressed out by the sports thing and his parents agree and do what he want in the future so

he surprised that Ichi can make cute culinary food too (you know that chocolate he made from valentines day skit and cat onigiri on season2) and support him as he can (to make him not uneasy with it)

he look up his old picture of his high school hair style and he feel disgusted.

yOU KNOW WHAT.... HE WOULD DO THIS BEFORE HE GLO UP

#anon #ask #reply #yanagita #yanagida #yanaichi #ososan

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lassieposting · 3 years

Note

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

#skulduggery pleasant #valkyrie cain #anti-val #extremely anti-val #but like only anti-phase two val #bc phase one val was great and i loved her #come back friend!laura val needs you #lardass can't write her without ur input

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angelsaxis · 3 years

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a lot of white women who are authors can't understand to any meaningful degree what it's like to have a concerted social and state effort made against your life and the lives of your friends and family to have you killed for being inherently inferior, or even a threat to society. They don't know what it's like to have to interact with people that truly and deeply hate your guts and want you dead because of false senses of superiority--hell, a lot of white women partook and continues to partake in those kinds of systems.

So they write what are essentially genocide stories: non-witches versus witches, magic users or mutants versus non users/mutants, and they throw in "yeah, this entire society things they're inherently disgusting and what's them dead" almost for funsies and for some neat drama, because then what they do is say "but here's this one hunter (normally male) who absolutely wants the main MC and her kind dead. but he also thinks the MC is hot". And they don't realize that this happens irl--that men in oppressor classes do find women in oppressed classes attractive. What they also don't realize is that this very rarely ever leads to a painful but thorough change of heart where the man realizes that the people he's trying to murder are, in fact, people. Instead what happens is sexual violence, becuase men in the oppressor class can have their cake and eat it too-and then get a new cake. There's nowhere that I can think of where sleeping with/raping a woman of an oppressed class was actually taboo, since it counts as a form of domination as long as you don't fall in love with them.

It also fundamentally misunderstands how racialized/class based hatred works. If you've spent decades learning to hate people for an innate trait, its going to take decades to unlearn it all. Nobody whos been committing atrocious acts of violence against someone is going to suddenly turn around and say "actually i was wrong all of these people are all good and ive burned my biases"

But this conversion fantasy is really popular with enemies-to-lovers writers, especially the one who think that romantic and sexual love will undo oppression, and that's why they think to name a witch hunter/witch relationship or anything else as mere enemies and not "someone who wants to commit genocide and the potential victim of that genocide"

white women love that trope. they slap it on every fantasy concept they can think of because they dont understand how that kind of oppression works. Thats why so many of them also love slave/slave owner AUs and stories. To them, all this is just a gritty difference of opinion and not literal life or death. They'll jump on stories of the heroine falling for a bigot but wont jump on stories of said heroine killing that and other bigots. That world just doesn't exist for them. I think a lot of white women are projecting but this post is long enough. im just tired of seeing this shit everywhere.

#angel posts #long post #and you can even see it in how they write the female MC because they're never even actually afraid #like they're cautious but they're v angry and v filled with hate #but if you're confronting a man whos got the state and all of society behind him and he would likely kill you #why the fuck are you poking the bear by taunting and saying a whole bunch of things and purposely trying to make him angry #why do they act out so much and get so vocal especially when they have people they're meant to be taking care of #like shut up thats not how any of this works i think white women should just stop writing

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m318x2 · 2 years

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i have little to no proof of this but i think this former friend that i stopped talking to like a year and a half ago (bc the bitch ghosted me and didnt show up when we had plans and didnt even call to cancel one too many fucking times and i got sick of it) is on hard drugs of some kind.

like shes lost a lot of weight, which doesnt really mean anything because when we stopped talking she was already trying to lose weight (i know she used to be bulimic like years ago but to my knowledge she wasnt purging again or starving, im 90% sure she was being healthy about it, she was just like going for walks and eating less junk food is all) and its been long enough that the amount of weight shes lost now seems like about what youd expect from a year and a half of progress, it wasnt super fast and shes definitely not like underweight so im not worried. but now she's just posting a lot of selfies and i honestly cant tell if its just acne because that literally could be all it is. but it also looks like it could be skin picking or like sores of some kind on her face. theyre really spread out and theyre all like scabbed which makes me think theyre those sores you see on peoples mugshots after they get arrested for crack or smthn.

idfk man but one time like two years ago she deadass was like "i kinda wanna try heroin" and i was like "bitch no its way too hard to quit that shit and so easy to overdose on, dont do it" and at the time i dont think she knew anyone that could sell her heroin but after we stopped talking she started dating this guy who was into psychedelics, and idk if he maybe knew someone that couldve gotten her into harder shit. idk. theyre broken up now and shes just lookin really pale and kinda dazed out :/

but like she has arthritis and is on immunosuppressants, its literally just a weaker version of the chemo they give to cancer patients so literally everything ive just listed could be the arthritis meds.

idfk man. like im not gonna ask her about it because i honestly dont think shes changed and i dont wanna talk to her again and also i know she'd think i was being judgy if i even brought it up because like thats a HEAVY accusation to put on someone you dont even talk to anymore, and like i said this isnt much to go on and she literally is probably fine :/

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killanyone4you · 3 years

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my uncle kevin died. and im sad. it's been a week or so and im still not really processing things. i know im sad. im just not... expressing anything? i keep almost crying and then i stop.

kev was too kind for this shitty world. his heart was soft and good and sometimes it felt like his life was a constant struggle. but if you asked him he'd never tell it like that. he was always the happiest person in the room. or at least that's how he'd make you feel.

he helped raise me. he made me feel like i had value in a family that very much treated children like they were only in the way.

kevin would do anything to help anyone. he'd stop anything he was doing to help a stranger. if someone stole something from him he'd say they must have needed it more than him. he taught me to never judge anyone. he taught me kindness.

he was the reason i knew what heroin was by 6-7 years old. he brought me along to drug deals. often times while on drugs himself. i was around prostitution. i was in possession of drugs on multiple occasions without realizing it. i watched a lot of people shoot up. i watched a lot of people overdose. i watched my uncle get arrested more than a dozen times. always scared for him. never understanding how someone who took care of me could have been doing something wrong. i realize how fucked up that stuff is now but he never made me feel unsafe. infact he often took me away when my actual home wasn't safe.

he was clean for the last 15 years but he struggled. it was difficult for him to maintain jobs and living situations because of serious health issues and other things he struggled with. it was hard to watch.

to this day i still wish i had asked him more about his struggles. my family does not talk about their problems. we dont talk about anything personal. we dont talk about feelings. we eat up anything that makes us sad and pretend it's not real.

4 years ago kevin announced to a few of us that he feels more like a women. he feels more comfortable dressed as a woman and would like to present as a women.

i tried so so SO hard to make my family understand what it meant to be transgender or to question your gender identity. i tried encourage them to show him support and compassion but they wouldn't talk about it. they referred to it as "kevin's girly thing" and refused to try to understand.

when i reached out to him to ask about pronouns and names and just to overall offer my support. he expressed to me that under no circumstances did he want to be referred to as a women or with she/her pronouns. ever. i tried to bring it up again at a later date but he shut it down immediately.

i'll never know his truth because he was too afraid to tell it. now that he's gone i wonder constantly about what he must have felt. was he in agony his whole life, living in a body he wasn't comfortable with? i'll never know and it's been eating me up.

after he passed, his partner approached me with photos of kevin dressed as a woman, wearing a wig and everything. he never allowed anyone in our family to see him that way and she expressed that he never wanted any of us to see those photos but she showed them to me and told me that when he was at home, he was always dressed this way and his chosen name was Renee. which is my middle name. and i just really fucking hope he knew i would have supported him no matter what. i decided not to ask anymore questions because now it feels like i know about a secret he didn't want me to know and it makes me feel guilty.

i dont believe in heaven but i know he did so i really hope he's in heaven

#this was for me not for you #if you read that whole thing please hug the people you love #please be kind to people #im sad #me

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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Episode 72 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 61 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

RATE THE EPISODE 61 responses

Unlike the last couple of weeks, this episode brought in a higher amount of 5-star rankings, indicating the episode was overall well received.

crazy intense crazy edge of seat

10/10

It was too short. I need more. Can't wait for the next episode❤️

WHICH MOMENT AT LEVI AND ZEKE’S LOCATION WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 61 responses

There were many focuses this episode, so we opted to split up the favorite moments into a few separate parts. Though Levi and Zeke’s scenes didn’t talk up the bulk of the episode, they were still prominent. 60.7% most enjoyed watching as Levi agonized over the deaths of his comrades after hearing Eren had escaped from prison, doubting whether the deaths had meaning or not in the end. Far behind that, at 16.4%, was Zeke and Levi’s banter about whether or not Levi is popular. 9.8% were happy to get the story about what happened to Connie’s village back in episode 26.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING FALCO, GABI, THE BLOUSE FAMILY AND NICOLO WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 61 responses

When it came to the moments where Gabi, Falco and the others were the main focus, the fandom (at 41%) most appreciated the moment where Sasha’s father talks about why he believes Sasha died, choosing not to punish Gabi for her misdeed. 23%, on the other hand, were happy to see Nicolo reveal the truth about Gabi to the Blouse family as he held Falco hostage. 13.1% enjoyed the altercation between Gabi, Falco and Nicolo beforehand. 11.5% enjoyed the overall tension between Nicolo and Gabi arguing over the circumstances of Sasha’s death.

I really liked the scene where Niccolo reveals the truth about Gabi and Falco. I wasn’t sure how the reveal would end up happening/when it would happen, but every beat was so satisfying.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING THE SURVEY CORPS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 60 responses

The Survey Corps inadvertently get involved in the restaurant drama and manage to drag in the Yeagerists with them. Though, when it comes to moments that involved the Survey Corps, Eren showing up to menacingly greet Armin and Mikasa was at the top of 65% of respondents’ lists.

floch epic smile

Eren literally stole the episode with that casual greeting.

Eren just dropping his existence on Armin, Gabi and Mikasa.. nice moment.

ZEKE ACCUSES LEVI OF BEING UNPOPULAR. LEVI DENIES THIS. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 61 responses

During their conversation in the forest, Levi accuses Zeke of being guitless over the fate of Ragako village, to which Zeke retorts by saying Levi must not be popular. 44.3% of respondents aren’t sure whether or not Levi is or ever has been popular, but got a good laugh at seeing him get so defensive over the accusation. 24.6% feel that he must be popular… he is humanity’s strongest, afterall. 19.7% think if he is popular, it’s only among the Survey Corps.

Petra and Levi crumbs!!!

Well he’s popular in the real world.

He just don’t care

PAPA BLOUSE SAYS THAT IT IS UP TO THE ADULTS TO SHOULDER THE SINS OF THE PAST, AND TO “KEEP THE CHILDREN OUT OF THE FOREST.” WHAT DO YOU THINK? 59 responses

This question had a little less to do with the content of the anime, but more where viewers stand from a general worldview when it comes to what Papa Blouse had to say. The majority, at 57.6%, do feel that it’s the adult’s responsibilities to do everything they can not to burden children with the problems created in the past. 22% feel the opposite, however, and believe that children are no exception when it comes to dealing with the problems the world faces. 18.6% are somewhere in the middle, agreeing that ideally children wouldn’t be forced to bear the brunt of our sins, but that it is regrettably unavoidable.

All problems in AoT are there because of children inherting their parents/ancestors sins. Stop it, listen to Mr. Blouse

WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE EXPLANATION OF WHAT HAPPENED IN RAGAKO VILLAGE? 60 responses

We appeared to finally get an answer about what happened in Connie’s village 4 years ago. Overall the majority of the fandom has accepted it as fact, with 55% feeling that it really cleared things up for them, while 11.7% accepted it but felt that it was a cheap explanation. 31.7% feel that it was a lie fabricated by Zeke and want to see if any other explanation surfaces in the future.

I felt like they went over it very fast, would have like a more in depth explanation

DO YOU THINK THAT ZEKE CARES ABOUT THE SURVIVAL OF THE ELDIAN RACE? 59 responses

Zeke claims his actions have all been for Eldia’s sake. Levi is sure suspicious of this statement, but what about the fandom? 45.8% don’t want to say one way or another if Zeke is being genuine about this claim and want to wait and see how things unfold. 32.2% are absolutely positive that this is a lie, and that Zeke would rather see the Eldian race perish. Only a small handful feel the opposite, and believe Zeke genuinely wants to see Eldians thrive.

i think yes, but only for their use as possible weapons as titans?

LEVI AND ZEKE BOTH SEEM TO AGREE THAT THE MILITARY IS WASTING TIME. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? 59 responses

57.6% landed somewhere in the middle on this question, feeling that it’s possible the military is taking too long to make a move on, well, anything… but that they also can’t just leave caution to the wind when it comes to their delicate situation. 35.6%, on the other hand, feel they are taking too long and there is really no excuse for it (other than, perhaps, incompetence). Only a sliver of respondents think that they aren’t wasting time and doing the best they can to get things under control.

They are in stand-by for too much time, time and events are catching up with them

They should be listening more to Eren and prepare for Marley's inevitable attack. Marley and the Warriors are the true enemy, not Eren.

KAYA SEEMS TO THINK THAT SASHA AND NICOLO WERE IN LOVE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 60 responses

58.3% of respondents believe Kaya is right, and that Nicolo and Sasha had mutual romantic feelings for each other. On the other hand, 38.3% feel that the romantic feelings were purely one-sided on Nicolo’s part. We may never know for sure without Sasha’s perspective.

We haven't seen Sasha interact with Nicolo expect when eating his food so it's hard to tell

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICOLO ATTACKING GABI AND FALCO? 60 responses

Nicolo wasn’t at all welcoming of Gabi bragging about taking Sasha’s life, and in his anguish tried to attack her. 56.7% feel that while this isn’t particularly excusable, it was an understandable thing to do, given the circumstances. 38.3%, on the other hand, were only disappointed that Falco got in the way. One respondent feels the opposite, and hopes that Nicolo gets some kind of karmic justice for his action.

Falco always takes for Gaby I'm sad

Attacking Falco, big nope. Attacking Gabi, TWO THUMBS UP!

Glad Nicolo got to punch Gabi, but I'm disappointed he was talked out of it with talk no jitsu. Shoulda killed Gabi on the spot.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT MIKASA’S COMPASSION TOWARD GABI? 59 responses

After Papa Blouse’s speech, Mikasa checks on Gabi and asks to see her wounds. This is quickly followed up by her outright protecting Gabi from Kaya’s rage. 37.3% were just happy to see her get any focus that wasn’t centered around Eren, while 30.5% have nothing but praise for our heroine. 23.7%, on the other hand, wish she hadn’t intervened at all and let things play out as they may.

Bad Mikasa, bad! I’ve lost ALL love and respect for her now!

Gabi should have died and I will forever hate Mikasa and Artur for not letting her die

Hating Mikasa forever for stopping Kaya

AFTER SEEING GABI’S EMOTIONAL RESPONSES OVER THE BLOUSE FAMILY’S GRIEF, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER? 60 responses

We got a colorful pie chart with this one. 26.7% felt happy to see her finally getting some (hopefully) positive character development, while 23.3% felt the complete opposite - that they don’t think she truly feels anything about it and that they still don’t enjoy her character. 21.7% are happy to see she feels some remorse, but it’s not enough to make them like her. However, 16.7% are starting to feel more warmly toward her.

i dont like her, but i like that shes developing as a character. If she finally made the connection that all of them, as human beings, shouldnt be carryign the burdens of their past and defining eaxh ither by the mistakes of their ancestors, creating a never ending cycle of violence, which she is shown as on the brink of umderstanding, then i might begin to like her character a little more

I love seeing Gabi’s slow realization that the islanders aren’t “devils”. Girl needs some kindness, and I’m glad that they can forgive her.

I still hate Gabi. No development will ever change that.

NICOLO SAYS THAT YELENA GAVE THEM INSTRUCTION TO SPIKE THE WINE. DO YOU THINK SHE IS THE ULTIMATE MASTERMIND BEHIND THIS SCHEME? 58 responses

Changing focus here, we move onto the wine plot. 39.7% believe that Zeke is the ultimate mastermind behind the wine plot. 20.7% don’t want to say for sure who exactly was in charge of it, and 17.2% believe it is purely Yelena’s doing. 10.3% think it may be someone else that we are unaware of just yet.

I think Yelena is definitely cooperating with Eren.. but not Zeke?

i think she got something from zeke, but then continued on to do what she thinks that zeke would want, in zeke's name

FLOCH IS AWARE OF THE SPIKED WINE. DO YOU THINK EREN IS AS WELL? 61 responses

When it comes to Eren’s possible awareness of the wine plot, 42.6% believe that he definitely knows about it, while only 27.9% think that he’s completely oblivious to it. 21.3% didn’t want to say one way or another, and the remainder have already been spoiled on this.

WHY DO YOU THINK THE WINE WAS SPIKED WITH ZEKE’S SPINAL FLUID? 58 responses

Nearly half of respondents (48.3%) believe the wine was spiked with Zeke’s spinal fluid as an insurance in case Paradis does anything to threaten Zeke. 13.8% feel it is on a lesser scale, and that he is simply being cautious about Eren and his intentions. 17.2% believe it’s not related to a potential betrayal at all, but rather the ability to have pure titans available should Paradis be attacked.

He wants to wipe out the higher ranks to control Paradis himself

I really don't know but I'm sure he has a great plan in mind

WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO FALCO? 58 responses

The majority of the fandom feel more confident than not about Falco’s future, feeling that though he may become a titan, he will be saved by one of the titan shifters. 10.3% believe that he won’t actually be titanized at all, with another 10.3% stating they’re simply not sure. Only a small handful actually feel more bleak about Falco’s fate.

WHY DID NICOLO CONFESS? 59 responses

45.8% of respondents feel that Nicolo felt pressed to confess about the wine due to multiple factors. 30.5% believe he did so because he didn’t want to lie about the ramifications to his friends in the Survey Corps. 10.2% believe he was moved by the Blouse family’s compassion, and 6.8% felt that he knew the jig was up, and another 6.8% believe he simply felt guilty for attacking Gabi and Falco.

WHAT DO YOU THINK EREN WANTS TO TALK TO ARMIN AND MIKASA ABOUT? 59 responses

37.3% believe that the contents of EMA’s conversation will revolve around what Eren’s goals are. 13.6% believe that he’s there to negotiate with them about something or another. 11.9% believe that he’s going to try to get them on board with his plan and try to recruit them as Yeagerists. 10.2% aren’t sure what he’s seeking out, and only one person thinks he’s going to threaten them. The rest have all been spoiled.

I think he gonna tell tem he is the new final boss of the game 😂

all of the above except threaten snd ive been spoiled

possibly the first two, i think hes going to ask them to join him after letting them have a little bit of insight, and possibly somehting about their past as friends

DO YOU THINK EREN WILL COME TO “UNDERSTAND” WHATEVER IT WAS MIKASA AND ARMIN WANTED TO SAY TO HIM? 56 responses

Though it’s not clear what Armin wanted to say to Eren beyond trying to figure out what his goal is, 46.4% believe that Eren won’t be having any of it and will not come to an understanding. 41.1%, however, feel the opposite and think that Eren will come around to whatever it is Armin and Mikasa want. The remainder have been spoiled.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Voice acting on the revelation that Gabi is the one who killed Sasha is so superb! I like how our characters want to stop the cycle of revenge even if they appear as unrealistically kind. And Floch, he looks like a demon! It looks like he just feels so great to be in control and I just want things to turn around for him. And Levi's popularity with the ladies? I like the little comedy sprinkled into these episode. I just feel for him the irony of the situation that the person they protected with their all turned out to be like that.

It was sooooo good. The scene with Gabi and Nicolo had so much emotion in it. And I paused and said "holy shit" out loud when Eren appeared

Caused lots of conflicting feelings towards characters and provided a lot of character development

The wine was definitely sus

Super looking forward to the next episode...I feel like something absolutely crazy is gonna happen! thanks MAPPA<3

Nicolo could have easily been the MVP of this chapter. Then he backed down because of that coward Artur Braus's cringe speech. Shame.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 59 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

If you haven’t yet, please take a moment to send in your vote for up to 5 favorite characters for our 2021 character popularity poll!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk spoilers #snk s4

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ao3bronte · 4 years

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🐞Little Lady Paws🐾

2 | 3 | 4 Ladybug gets into a “hairy” predicament when an akuma capture goes wrong. A collaboration between @ao3bronte and @yamina20-blog 💕

I am a hamster.

I’m a hamster?

I’M A HAMSTER?!

Gnashing her hands—no, her paws—together restlessly, Paris’ leading lady turned stout-bodied rodent tries not to panic. She’s been sitting here patiently on Adrien’s bedspread for twenty minutes and so far, he hasn’t shown up to embarrass her any further. She can’t even imagine what he’s going to say when he sees her like this, tiny and furry and naked, save for the earrings in her ears. One quick look in her reflection confirms what Master Fu has already told her; they’re still in their active form, which means that Tikki is just as trapped in this hamster body as she is.

Seconds turn into minutes and Ladybug eventually gets bored of waiting, prefering to explore the world around her to keep her mind off the inevitable. She clambers up towards his pillows but doesn’t find anything of interest hiding beneath them, which isn’t all that surprising. Just because she hides things under her own pillows doesn’t mean that other people do and Ladybug flops down onto his mattress platform instead to try and find something to amuse herself with.

Which is when she spots it.

An iPad!

Using Adrien’s mattress frame like a firepole, Ladybug slides down the legs of the platform and plops onto her furry bum with a squeak, rubbing it gingerly. This floor is hard! And her paws aren’t nearly as agile as human hands, which makes this next part even more daunting.

Whoa!

This shelving unit looked way smaller when she’d still been on the bed!

The iPad is on the second shelf and somehow, she needs to find a way to get up to it. If she uses his mobile charging cord as a lasso, maybe she can hook the tip of it around the corner of the cabinet and haul herself up like a mountaineer—

“Ladybug?”

The heroine-turned-hamster jolts to a halt, freezing in place. Her heart throbs like a jackhammer in her chest and she flattens herself to the floor instinctively, her eyes blown wide with fright. Adrien immediately looks stricken and runs over, sliding across the floor on his knees to where she’s more or less trying to melt between the whitewashed wooden floorboards.

“Ladybug? Oh my god, are you okay?” Adrien scoops her up with the gentlest of touches, cradling her like the most delicate piece of porcelain in creation, “Chat Noir told me about what happened to you and I promised to take care of you but—oh my god, Ladybug, are you breathing? Oh god, I’ve killed her. I gave her a heart attack and killed her!”

Watching his anxiety mount with every panicked exclamation, Ladybug wills her diaphragm inhale. He scared the living daylights out of her and now they’re both becoming hysterical and this is by far the worst thing that’s ever happened in the entire history of the known universe and nothing in the world could ever be this awful again except it is and it’s happening and—

“Oh thank god, you’re breathing,” Adrien sits back on his haunches with a sigh of relief, throwing his head back, “I thought I killed you!”

Ladybug manages to open and close her mouth several times before uttering a single squeak, her face positively simmering with embarrassment. Adrien doesn’t seem to notice, too wrapped up in his own guilt, and promptly clambers to his feet, “I’m going to put you somewhere safe, okay? It’s dangerous, being on the floor where someone could step on you.”

Still thoroughly drowning in her own humiliation, Ladybug doesn’t even protest as he gently deposits her back onto the bed again and begins to pace, “While I was coming home from my photoshoot, I was Googling how to take care of hamsters because I’ve never had a pet before—I mean,” he stops and begins to wave his hands, “You’re not a pet, you’re Ladybug, but you’re shaped like a pet and— oh my god, this is coming out all wrong.”

Adrien takes a deep breath, “Okay. I need to just…calm down. We all need to calm down and focus so we can try and figure this out.”

Watching in a mix of awe and horror, Ladybug realises that Adrien is feeling just as overwhelmed as she is.

“I really want to help you,” he finally says, rubbing furiously at the back of his neck, “But I don’t know how so...here!” Galloping over to his side table, Adrien snatches the very device Ladybug had been trying to lasso and plops it on the bed beside her, “Use the iPad! I’ll, uh...let me just find the memo app.”

Quickly swiping across the screen, a blank page awaits. Ladybug climbs on and quickly rules out using her front paws; her back paws keep hitting the other keys and messing everything up. With a frustrated huff, Ladybug stands on her hind legs and pats her claws on the backspace button until her garbled message is cleared.

hi adrien, she hops back and forth across the sensitive glass, the pads of her tiny paws hitting each key with a satisfying thunk, im so sorry chat did this to you

“What?!” Adrien reels back, panicking once again, “No no! This is fine. This is great! It’s no problem, watching over you. No no, I’m the one who should be sorry! I almost gave you a heart attack!”

Ladybug glances up at his cherry stained cheeks before tapping the enter button and continuing onto the next line, this is my fault i never should have got hit

“But you did,” Adrien fiddles with his hands, his fingers practically twitching with the need to be useful, “And we’re going to figure this out. Chat Noir said he’s going to come by when Le Papillon makes another akuma and pick you up. He’s hoping the next one will be useful and maybe you’ll be able to turn back!”

Ladybug can’t deny that Adrien’s earnestness is infectious, i hope so

“I know so,” he assures her, blinding her with one of his one-hundred watt grin, “You can count on Chat Noir. He’d do anything for you! He’s probably out there right now, looking for an answer!”

Running the tips of her claws through the fur on her forearms, Ladybug’s lips begin to curve up at the edges as she types, i trust him to help me

“You do?”

Consumed with her tap dance along the keyboard, Ladybug completely misses the flush on his features, i do but dont tell him i said that

Adrien dips his head to the side and Ladybug’s knees quake at the sight, “How come? He would love to know that you trust him!”

he knows, Ladybug has to look away just to get a hold of herself, but if i tell him his head will get too big

Adrien begins to snicker and sits down alongside her, “I guess you’re kind of right. He probably loves getting compliments from you."

Ladybug doesn't bother typing out her answer, instead offering him an enormous nod; Chat Noir is and always has been a sucker for kind words.

Glancing towards the darkening sky, Adrien's traitorous stomach begins to rumble, "Nathalie is going to call me down for dinner soon. What should I bring back for you?"

Ladybug shrugs, honestly stumped, what do hamsters eat

“Good question,” Adrien scoots beside her and Ladybug’s heart leaps into her chest at the proximity, “Let’s Google it! Here,” Adrien gently lifts Ladybug up by the waist and sets her on his knee as he picks up the tablet with his other hand, propping it up in front of them for both of them to see. “Seeds, nuts, fruits and vegetables. That should be easy enough to smuggle back up into my bedroom.”

Ladybug turns her attention away from the tablet and gazes back up at Adrien, marvelling at just how huge he is for a moment. Everything is so much bigger when you’re a hamster — she gets that — but it doesn’t really click until you’re unwillingly forced to become one at the hands of an evil mastermind bent on terrorizing Paris.

“Uh, Ladybug? Are you okay?” Adrien’s enormous hand curls around her body and Ladybug desperately hopes he can’t feel her heart hammering through all of her silky fur, “You’re kind of zoning out on me.”

Squeaking a stammering apology, Ladybug tries and fails to gather her composure. And how can she? Adrien has his huge, warm hand wrapped around her body and she’s practically shaking with nervous energy, every synapse overwhelmed with the giddy excitement of being in love. This is both the best and worst day of her life and for what it’s worth, she’ll have to remember to bring Chat some extra pastries as a thank you once she’s back to her regular size.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t want to leave you on your own if you’re not,” Adrien says and Ladybug melts at the concern in his voice. How did he come to be so unconditionally kind? And thoughtful? And so extremely good looking?

He must sense the way her tension drains from her body and he sighs in relief, gracing her again with his beautiful smile, “Alright, I’m going to leave you on the bed, okay? And you can watch or do whatever you want with my iPad. Mi casa es su casa, right?” he laughs, rubbing at the back of his neck, “Anyway, I won’t be long and when I come back, I’ll bring you something to eat and maybe we can watch a movie together? Would you like that?”

Ladybug nods, folding and refolding her little paws as she imagines the two of them watching a movie together. What would they watch? Would she sit beside him? Would he let her sit on his knee again?

“Perfect!” Adrien practically vibrates, setting Ladybug back down on his bedspread beside the iPad, “I’ll be back, Ladybug. See you soon!”

#miraculous ladybug #ladrien #ladybug #ML fanart #hamster

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ghostspoke · 4 years

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{ mark lee / bigender / he/she } – ❖ where y'at? isn’t that ( JUN-SEO “CLAY” PARK ) o'va there ? i think they’ve been in town for ( 3 MONTHS ) and come from ( MIAMI BEACH FLORIDA), but who knows. i reckon they’re about ( TWENTY-ONE ) year old. did'ya here, i think they work as a/an ( YOUTUBER ) and live in ( HOTEL VILLA CONVENTO ). according to the talk of the town, they’re described as being ( + EASY-GOING ) but also ( - DUMBASS ). either way, tell'em there’s a party down on bourbon and they’re invited.

u all know the drill : its ur local cryptid eli at it with my literal dumbass. under the cut is gonna be a bulletpoint bio cause idk what the fuck a full sentence is <2 , personality , &. wcs.

trigger warning for drug abuse , parental abuse , possession , internalized homophobia , overdose , &. mentions of needles &. vomit

bio.

MARCH 18TH , 1999 : jun - seo “ clay “ park was born to min-ji &. u-jin park in their high rise penthouse apartment at 3:28am. for mintues , the newborn child was wide eyed &. quiet staring at things that did not appear to be real. the midwife was ushered out of the room as the babies cries fill the room. his birth is publicized &. photos of his newborn form are splattered across gossip magazines.

AGE 3 : whispers in the night fill the baby moniter , cooing from a child to the corners in the room. stacking blocks with friends that friends , staff , nor his family see. there are stares &. points from guests at events.

AGE 5 : when kids are getting ready for school or to go play soccer in the afternoon , jun - seo is in front of the camera. headlining in any psychic show that will take him. the whispers are louder. he doesnt know how to keep them out. he forgets most of the year , only to be awoken by burning water on his skin.

AGE 13 : there is a pretty boy in his class. dennis. his so smart &. helps clay with his homework. the excitement to see dennis is disgusting. it makes his stomach turn &. he falls back to the friends in the corners talking to ghosts instead of people. these feelings will fade.

AGE 15 : he goes by a new name now , clay seems to fit him more. fame has its perks , drowning in followers because of who his parents are. hes barely passing school , C’s gonna get those degrees. June 9th, 2014 is when clay has his first heroin needle. in the tucked corner of a LA house party with a girl he cannot remember , but they are best friends on instagram. for once , the world is silent

AGE 16 : 1,750 a week on needles , he barely shows up to class anymore. hes sure the only reason why he is passing is cause his parents are doing something. they dont care as long as his face is on the morning copy of a gossip magazine &. he smiles for the cameras. he looks hollow in the mirror , but the ghosts dont talk anymore. he has a girlfriend. he loves her. he thinks. he tells himself that in the mirror before going out to see her. in November he will drunkenly try on her skirt , something feels right.

AGE 20 : his brother comes home &. things get hard. his brother worries when he doesn’t go to school. clay knows that he’s fine. mom &. dad will make sure that everything goes fine. on the cold tile with the rubber around his arm , it goes wrong. he goes too deep into the silent &. is thrown against heavens door with vomit on his lips &. it hurts. he is cold &. it hurts. the voices are loud. they are so loud.

AGE 21 : thrown against heaven’s door with the force of the overdose , clay is ushered out of the public light. he drops out of uni &. all shows are canceled. the youtube channel he had started to explore the voices in the corners of the room &. vlogging his experiences trying to go to a grocery store for the first time is the only connection to his fame that is left untouched. he’s supposed to be healing , going away from all ties to find herself &. get a better grip on the world. its all for PR , knowing that her parents are waiting for the next issue of the gossip mag catching him buying on the street corner. the warm air that flutters through the open hotel window is ripe with choice : can he finally get clean ?

personality.

might actually be stupid, there isnt anything going on in her head

impulse control who ? he does shit and then goes :o when things go wrong

petty ? really petty honestly

she's,,,, rlly angry at the world bc of u know no drugs on top of being an angry young adult so like ,,,, she's so moody it’s gross

very excitable ! honestly just a walking exclamation point

slow to pick up on things, like you have to explain shit 5 times to him

once they put her mind to something, its getting done but its getting done her way

wcs.

a mom/dad friend who’s always checking up on them & making sure they’re doing okay

exes that ended on bad terms

ride or die - they’re always raising hell with

his dealer

someone who pls for the love of god teach her “healthy coping skillz “

frenemies

best friend(s)

fake dating

someone who knows her from her past

he doesnt know how to take care of himself like he pours the whole thing of detergent into the washer help him

someone who sees thru their shit

someone who believes in ghosts &. listens to their shit

ghosts arent real ur lying for the clout

someone to feature on his youtube channel / someone for him to collab with

a bad influence

someone who’s rlly protective over him or someone he’s Super protective over

unrequited crush/love interest

mutual crushes

sworn enemies

fuck it some hcs.

hes allergic to penicillin

had a very bad attempt at a music career at age of 13

even though he cannot drive he has 3 cars

cooks frozen chicken in the microwave cause thats how he cooks chicken nuggets

hes conversationally fluent in cubañol , other forms of Spanish confuse him

attempted to cheat on history tests by talking to ghosts , ended up getting possed &. failed

thought the earth was flat for 6 months before realizing that the rest of his friends were joking

wasnt vaccinated till 18

panic bought mango juul pods when juul stopped selling them

actually has a punch card for exrocisms , &. is extremely familiar with the priest who does them on him

uses holy water as a base for his blackout juice , vodka , holy water , &. water flavoring mixed in an empty milk jug.

is specializing in sexual ethics , focusing on the treatment of woman within pornography

was a former contestent on the bachorlette , only to be kicked off for hooking up with another contestant on the show

will buy jewelry off people at parties

eats ramen raw, doesnt know how to cook it

#❪ ⋅ ◆ ⋆ — bottom rights activist┊❛ ooc ❜ ❫#intro ?

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