[Translation] Skits of "Our magical party wiz you" and the staged reading ""A Mixer After the Mission"
Good day, everyone! I have translated the skits and the staged reading from the “Our magical party wiz you!” (Mahoawa) event on January 28-29th, 2024. It took me a while, and this is not the full translation for the 2-hour show. There are also Q&A activities involving seiyuus and some additional skits with characters. However, I translated all the skits featuring CaiOwe and the 20-minute main skit "A Mixer After the Mission" written by the devil Tsushimi Bunta!
Please feel free to share the link to the translation or screencap it to react.
Characters: Oz, Arthur, Mithra, Rutile, Cain, Owen, Snow
(The Day’s skit)
Owen: Hey, are you kidding me?
Mithra: That's my line.
Cain: Hey there, you two. Let's not start off on such a tense note, alright? What's going on?
Mithra: The thing I just had for lunch is called Napolitan pasta. This guy has more bacon in his bowl than mine, not fair at all.
Cain: More bacon? How nice!
Owen: That's not nice, comparing to that pudding he has. Mithra's pudding is bigger than mine.
Mithra: Obviously, because I eat faster than you.
Owen: You were just eating everything randomly, weren't you? Ah, I feel sorry for that pudding, being eaten by someone like you.
Mithra: So you're not giving up? How unsightly.
Owen: Hah? You want to die?
Mithra: Just what I want.
Owen: Cuore Memini–
Mithra: Athrim—
Cain: Wait, hold on!! Let's not start a fight out of nowhere! You'll wreck the place.
Rutile: Ah, how about this? Since we're in a theater, why not have a competition fitting this place?
Mithra: A competition fitting this place?
Rutile: Let's have the spirits of this land as judges. Since they love singing and art, we could have a poetry competition. What do you think, dear spirits?
(The audience applauds)
Rutile: Thank you.
Mithra: Well, okay. I'm the strongest at writing poems.
Owen: I won't go along with your ridiculousness. Such a stupid game.
Mithra: Oh? Is it because you don’t have confidence?
Owen: Aren't you just led by the nose?
Cain: Please don't start a new round of quarrels, guys. Owen, if you're not interested…
Owen: Fine, I'll participate. With Mithra's brain, my victory is assured.
Sir Knight, let's start quickly *kick*
Cain: Ouch! Why did you suddenly kick me?!
The theme is “Winter”. Owen, you first!
Owen: Eh? Me?
Cain: 321, GO!
Owen: The…the winter sun…on top of the sky…turns into…a frozen white jade…
Rutile: Wow, what a beautiful imagery!
Owen: On the snow field…there's…a fluffy dog…but his fur sheds…and vanishes with the wind…
Cain: Ahhh, he was so fluffy, though.
Mithra: That's it? Well, no surprise that you're at this level
Rutile: But the first part was great! I couldn't have come up with “frozen sun”!
Cain: I also love fluffy dogs, they’re like winter. When you see your dog getting shaggy, you know winter's here. It's a shame his fur fell out.
Owen: Oh, you like that? Then why don't I turn you into a big hairless dog and throw you into an extremely cold place where it snows all the time?
Cain: Why do you come up with words to insult me so easily?!
Cain: Next theme is “Northern Wizards”. 321, GO!
Mithra: On the snow field…there is a fluffy dog.
Owen: Wait, don't copy me.
Cain: It’s even the same dog.
Mithra: Standing there is a creature more majestic than a dog, a huge crocodile... and the strongest and most fearsome, me...
Mithra: Hmmm, sounds weird. Rutile, you are up.
Rutile: Huh!? Uh...if you step on the shadow...
Owen: Hey hey, it'd be cheating to ask others for help, wouldn't it? Rutile, don't say more.
Rutile: I'm...I'm sorry. I can't resist answering when someone asks me...
Mithra: Huh? Is there a rule against asking others?
Cain: Well...no, there isn't. Sorry, I forgot to set rules. But I trust the spirits (audience) will judge fairly. Let's hear Rutile's first.
Rutile: Yes! Owen's expression was particularly poetic, and Mithra was great at involving others.
Cain: I see. Both had unique elements in their poems. What do the spirits think?
(The audience applauds)
Cain: I see. Congratulations, Owen and Mithra, you share the victory!
Rutile: Congratulations!
Mithra: Winning was too easy. Poetry seems like child's play.
Owen: You just won without a fight. Let's start over.
Cain: The spirits seem pleased, making the atmosphere livelier and more energetic here.
Owen: That means…
Mithra: Then...
Owen/Mithra: *fighting each other* Cuore Memini/Arthim!
(The Night’s skit)
Snow: You're back too. Just walking around, not bothering anyone and not killing anyone?
Owen: You think I'm Mithra? I don't do those things. *sound of chewing*
Cain: What are you eating?
Owen: Dango from a nearby stall. It's right over there, by the red gate.
Snow: You're right, it smells sweet and delicious.
Cain: I noticed it too when I passed by earlier today. But I was so full that I couldn't eat anymore, so I didn't buy any.
Owen: Because you had too much Napolitan pasta, didn’t you? What a glutton, ordering such a large portion.
Cain: I couldn't help it! It was so delicious. After that, I walked around the streets with Rutile for a long time and started feeling hungry again.
Hey, give me one.
Owen: The song of hot dango.
Cain: What?
Owen: If you want one, sing. This is a payback for making me do weird things during the day.
Cain: Are you still holding a grudge over that...? Eh…Impromptu singing? I've never done that without a drink...
Snow: How about this? They also sell hot drinks near the red gate. It's slightly sweet and tastes a bit like wine, but it's actually non-alcoholic.
Cain: Thanks. Ohhh, it smells good. Now this can set the mood I need...
Owen: Cuore Morito
Cain: Ugh!?
Snow: Owen!? What did you--
Cain: ....He he he...there...is a pile of hot dango...~
Snow: Cain!?
Cain: Dango dango~~ Taran taran tan tan~
Owen: He's started drunken dancing and singing now. How clumsy and amusing.
Snow: Dear! Did you cast a spell on Cain? That kid took just a sip and he's already drunk.
Cain: Ha, ha ha...Let's take off our clothes to dance and sing, everyone...
Owen: Do it, do it~
Snow: Wah!!! Wait--! Noscomnia!
Cain: What just happened?
Owen: What, we were just getting to the good part.
Snow: Phew, that was close. Are you okay, dear? You were only dancing and singing, don’t worry.
Cain: I can’t remember…..But then that means I fulfilled Owen’s request?
Owen: Well, you could say that. Here, I'll give you a dango, catch it. *throw it away*
Cain: Ah! Hey, don’t just toss dango around like that!
The staged reading "A Mixer After the Mission" written by Tsushimi Bunta
Arthur: Look, Lord Oz, there are fireworks lighting up the sunset sky.
Oz: Indeed.
Rutile: It seems people are setting off fireworks to celebrate the resolution of the recent event. How beautiful.
Cain: Strange occurrences took place at Granvelle Castle. Although very dangerous and tricky, fortunately, we managed to solve them successfully.
Snow: That's right, the people on the street are also very happy. Beautiful music is coming from the square, it feels delightful.
Oz: Indeed.
Snow: Ah, dear Oz, the young wizards are all very happy now. You should sometimes respond to them with something more enthusiastic, like "Wow! That's fantastic!"
Arthur: Just watching the fireworks with Lord Oz makes me happy enough. And is this music the same as the one played during the inauguration ceremony?
Cain: Yes, the sound of fireworks, the music from that day, and the laughter of the people. Just hearing them makes me feel like I've been transported back to the day of the inauguration ceremony.
Arthur: The sages and their wizards gathered on the terrace of Granville Castle and waved many times to the people.
Rutile: After that, a lot of things really happened. Time has really flown by since then. Being able to become so close to Lord Arthur, Uncle Mithra, and others is like a dream.
Speaking of which, where are Uncle Mithra and Mr. Owen?
Cain: Hmm? Oh, I don't see them either. Weird, they were with us just a moment ago.
Snow: Maybe they went to confirm "The Legendary Wind Passage"?
Arthur: What is "The Legendary Wind Passage"?
Snow: The land in this area is blessed by the wind spirit, thus strong winds blow sometimes. The most famous one is a passage where there are always violent storms. It is said that only the strongest wizard can pass through this legendary passage.
Arthur: So it’s the strongest passage?
Snow: Exactly, the strongest passage, literally as the words imply.
Cain: I'm pretty sure those two are competing to see who can fly through that passage faster.
Rutile: I am very confident in my broom-flying skills and would like to participate too...
Mithra: Arhtim
Arthur: They're back. Welcome back, Mr. Mithra, Mr. Owen.
Mithra: We're back.
Owen: Ugh, that was the worst.
Mithra: Oz, it is said that only the strongest wizard can pass through the wind passage - the strongest path, and I have conquered it. In other words, I'm the strongest. Your strongest throne has been taken away by me. How about that? Don't you want to say something?
Oz: Wow, that's fantastic.
Mithra: Huh?
Oz: Wow, that's fantastic.
Mithra: What's that?
Oz: Wow, that's—
Mithra: Shut up, you're noisy.
Arthur: Lord Oz, your level of agreement is truly superb.
Speaking of celebration, it seems that Lord Oz, Mr. Mithra, and Mr. Owen have never participated in a mixer.
Oz: Mixer?
Arthur: A mixer is to celebrate an encounter. If possible, how about holding one now? I feel a bit regretful not being able to join the social gathering with Lord Oz and others.
I also want to plan a mixer for 22 people including the Sage.
But now that we are here, how about practicing this bonding event in advance?
Mithra: Interesting, I want to join this thing called a mixer or something
Arthur: Thank you, Mr. Mithra.
How about Lord Oz?
Oz: Yes.
Arthur: Thank you so much!
How about Owen?
Owen: I won't. It's boring.
Cain: Don't say that.
If we sit face to face in a social gathering, we can understand each other better and maybe become closer.
Owen: When did I say I want to get along with you?
Cain: I want to get along well with you.
Owen: I don't want to. As if I would go.
Cain: Uhmm okay, that's good then! I actually don't want to get along with you either, but I have to do this because my lord is here. Lucky for me that you refused me first.
Owen: Oh? So you actually don't want to get along with me?
Cain: Yeah, why should I want to get along with you? You took my eyeball.
Owen: Ha ha, what a pitiful Sir Knight.
Owen: Then I will reluctantly join this mixer. Let's get close to each other, shall we?
Cain: Is that so?! Thank you, Owen!
Owen: Huh?
Cain: That's good for you, Arthur.
Owen: What does this mean?
Cain: Everyone, let's join in the fun!
Owen: Hey? Hey!
Arthur: I see!
Speaking of which, the Sage told me once…in mixer, people are supposed to have some special events.
Rutile: Special events?
Mithra: No matter what those are, it’s not a problem for me
Arthur: I don't know the specific details. Let's try to find out.
Rutile: I think I have an idea!
(Rutile starts singing)
Rutile: Why do you want to drink? Why do you want to drink? Because you want to drink, so you drink!
(T/n: He is singing a parody of なんで持ってんの, a japanese drinking song)
Arthur: *confused voice* W-what song is that?
Rutile: This is the kind of song everyone sings at the beginning of a mixer.
Cain: Somehow, it feels like I’ve heard it somewhere before.
Rutile: Really? I created this song, though.
Cain: Really? But it sounds a bit familiar… Anyway, since we have songs, there should also be dances, right? Like dancing in pairs at a ball.
Arthur: That sounds appropriate! Perfect for social occasions to celebrate new encounters.
Owen: So how about this?
Owen: We play a game where one person acts as the king and the rest are retainers who follow the king's orders.
Cain: This game might not be suitable for this event, right?
Owen: …it isn’t?
Cain: It could make the atmosphere tense. It doesn’t seem like a social game.
Rutile: Although it sounds fun, I don’t think it's suitable for social gatherings.
Owen:…Hmmm, whatever.
Arthur: So, what dishes do you think should be served at the party?
Rutile: Dishes, huh? If there’s a grand feast at the mixer, the atmosphere will be livelier.
Cain: You must be hungry, Rutile. How about roasting a whole pig or something?
Arthur: Sounds like the mixer will be quite lively.
Rutile: It does sound that way! A roasted whole pig would be nice at a mixer.
Owen: Hey, how about this?
Mixing a hot sauce puff into a plate of sweet puffs filled with thick cream.
Cain: Absolutely not. That's a terrible idea.
Owen: Why?
Cain: Well, it's just not feasible. People who eat the hot sauce puff would be in for a bad time. This is meant to be a rare opportunity to meet new friends, and doing this would definitely make the atmosphere tense.
Owen: …Wouldn’t that make everything surprisingly lively though?
Cain: No, absolutely not. This would make it difficult to warm up the atmosphere. Think about it carefully— putting hot sauce in the puff for people to eat. It's going to be very tense, I'm telling you.
Rutile: I would certainly feel nervous…
Owen: Hmmm, whatever.
Snow: Ah, now I remember!
Rutile: What is it, Lord Snow?
Snow: Dear Sage mentioned a "first impression" game that seems to be held at the mixer.
Rutile: A game of first impressions?
Snow: Yes, for example, a question like "Who looks the gentlest here, or the richest person," and then you point to someone intuitively.
Snow: I hope everyone points to me when being asked "Who is the cutest person here?"
Oz: He just blurts out his wish.
Mithra: I definitely don't think you're the cutest person. If you asked who the scariest person is, I'd probably point to you.
Snow: I'm not scary. I'm obviously very cute.
Rutile: Very cute, indeed. But since we’ve met before, it might be difficult to judge as if it were the first time.
Snow: No worries. If it's just for a short time, I can erase your memory!
Mithra: Hah?
Owen: Erase memory?
Snow: Noscomnia.
Snow: Great, now we can play the first impression game!
Snow: Okay, after preparing, let’s point out who the cutest person here is.
Arthur: What just happened?
Mithra: What kind of terrifying magic was just used?
Owen: Step any closer, and I'll kill you.
Owen: Cuore--
Mithra: Arthi--
Oz: Voz--
Snow: Wait, wait, don't be so excited yet
Mithra: What do you mean?
Owen: Who are you?
Oz: Voz–
Snow: I said wait! Now everyone is playing the First Impression game.
Rutile: First Impression game?
Snow: Yes, it is to determine who the cutest person here is in the first impression.
Cain: Hold on a minute, I don't remember anything, not even you or myself.
Snow: Well, don't worry about that.
Cain: Don't worry?!
Snow: Yeah, don't stress about it, it's no big deal.
Cain: Is it really okay?
…Well, I suppose it is!
Rutile: Great, I don’t remember anything either, so I feel relieved to hear you say that.
Mithra: What's going on? That boy's complete lack of any sense of crisis is making me irrationally angry. My stomach seems to be hurting too.
Rutile: Oops, brother over there, do you have a stomachache?
Drink some hot potion to soothe your stomach, it'll help. I'll warm it up for you now.
Ah, but...
T/n: Usually Rutile calls Mithra "Oji-san," but he's addressing Mithra as "Onii-san" now.
Mithra: What's the matter?
Rutile: This potion is very bitter. Brother, can you handle it? Will it be difficult for you?
Mithra: Not a problem. If need be, I can even eat grass.
Rutile: Ha ha, you're quite the wild one.
My first impression of you, brother, is that you're a very wild person.
Mithra: Ah, thank you.
My first impression of you is that of a careless person.
Snow: Look like someone knows how to play the game already!
Arthur: Hm? If you look closely, you two have the same eye color.
Cain: Ah, you are talking about me?
Owen: Me?
Rutile: That's right. Maybe you guys are brothers?
Ah, I feel like I have a brother too.
Cain: Do I have a brother?
*look at Owen* Can I call you big bro then?
Owen: What a joke. First of all, how could I have a brother with such weak magic power?
Besides, just from the appearance point of view, my hair color is similar to that guy’s.
Arthur: Are you talking about me?
Owen: Your magic power is pretty strong. Maybe we really are brothers.
Arthur: …Big Brother!
Owen: What's wrong~
Oz: Wrong…!
Arthur: Ah.
Oz: That’s definitely wrong, although I don’t know why.
Arthur: You over there…
Oz: …Are you talking to me?
Arthur: …Sir, you have been silent until now.
Can you say a little more? That way we can get to know your personality better. Maybe the cutest person here is you.
Oz: I have nothing to say to you.
Arthur: Why?
Oz: *Silence* Because I have nothing to say.
Arthur: But why?
Oz: *Longer silence* Because I don't have anything to say so I won't say—
Arthur: Why—!
Snow: So, you guys have nothing to say. Okay, I get it! Let's begin! When I ask who the cutest person here is, everyone points to me.
Mithra: Isn't this cheating?
Snow: Humph! Forget it, let's not ask you; let's ask the spirits of this land.
(Snow asked who is the cutest, who is the noblest, who is the sexiest, and who is liked by animals. The audience responded with Snow, Arthur, Mithra, and Owen. After that, Snow returns memories to everyone.)
Arthur: Where are we?
Owen: Feels like there's a gap in my memory...
Cain: And I feel like I just had a strange dream...
Snow: Ha ha, the first impression game was so much fun!
Oz: I don't remember anything...
Cain: I want to join in too.
Snow: But you already participated.
Cain: Eh? I did? My memory's a bit fuzzy.
Owen: Too bad for you, then.
Snow, did you cast some strange magic on us?
Arthur: I feel like Owen and I were brothers...
Oz: Wrong.
Snow: Ha ha! That was so fun!
Mithra: So, what about the mixer to celebrate our encounter? Is this the end?
Arthur: No, it's not over yet. It's been a while since we last met.
Let’s reminisce about the events from when we first met until now.
Mithra: Are we talking about my heroic deeds?
Arthur: Mithra, Owen, Lord Oz, Cain, Rutile, Lord Snow, and our other esteemed comrades. And let's not forget the heroic deeds of our dear Sir Sage.
Cain: From the Ancient Birds and Beasts to the Resurrected City of the Dead. Three monsters attacking Granville Castle. And the perilous adventures in the Western Kingdom.
Rutile: Too many to recount. Let's share our stories tonight as we delve into the memories we share with the Sage.
Owen: There might be some pages I'd rather forget completely though.
Arthur: Even so, these are the nostalgic scenes that shape who we are. No matter how embarrassing or heartbreaking they may be, let's hold them dear in our hearts. Like precious friends, let's cherish those dark pages with tenderness.
Oz: That’s just like you, who is good at loving others.
Arthur: It's thanks to you, Lord Oz, and the watchful eyes of everyone else, that I'm able to do this. Now, everyone! Let's prepare some warm black tea and sweets. Get ready for our trip down memory lane, with the sound of fireworks and the music we love, while listening to everyone's laughter.
--- END ---
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Actually, no. lemme recap now because I bet once I meet the Big Bad and beat them it'll be like 2 hours of cutscenes and dialogue.
Where did I leave off-- REALLY? THAT LONG AGO? FUCK ME.
Okay SOMEONE remind me LATER to sum up Empress, because I completed it. Note to self, it's around 12/2 in your screencaps.
So Shido wins the elections because it turns out that no one saw the Thieves' big calling card for him, and those who did didn't remember it. There is obviously Some Shit going on with people's mass apathy syndrome.
Because Persona only has one theme and it's "people will be too lazy to pay attention to the truth, fucking sheeple," I guess.
/clucks tongue. I'm not really impressed by this turn of the story, I'm kinda Over the slow increase in apathy that winds up being the undoing of the world until we beat up a god and save everyone. This is the third time, I would have shaken shit up by having the Hidden Big Bad send the Thieves a calling card, demanding they come protect their Treasure, and then you meet the Big Bad and just gimme a villain with a motive, goddamn. It's a supernatural story, the sky's the limit!
I shouldn't kvetch too much yet. Anyway, Shido admits to his crimes, but the populace doesn't seem to care and still supports him.
Shido's lackeys basically go "okay Shido had a major meltdown buuuuuut we can still carry his agenda forward bc if we don't, we're all going down with the ship here."
Excellent question. In P4G I had a pretty strong idea what was doing that and here I do not, can y'all drop some hints?
Morgana points out that the general public has a Palace and has a Treasure. It's Mementos. So if the crew wants to force a mass shift in the world's perception, they can do that. But like all other Palaces, when the Treasure is taken, Mementos will collapse, to be replaced with new, corrected cognition.
In the process, the crew will lose their powers. Oh and Morgana is gonna die.
The game hasn't said that part yet but if they didn't kill Ryuji, they're gonna kill Morgana, fucking bet.
I love you, Morgana Notacat.
This was actually where I got my idea of what Morgana is. Morgana's upgraded Persona is Mercurius/Hermes. Yanno, the god of messages, of thieves, of swiftness, and well-known classic psychopomp.
Morgana keeps remembering himself being born in Mementos. He's without a doubt some manifestation of humanity's rebellion against systems, the literally cognitive patron saint of Phantom Thieves. He's a mascot in the most literal sense, an emblem of good luck for the Thieves' work.
Even the fact he's a cat kind of fits in nicely. Cats are free spirits who opt-into being it other people. They are creatures of choice.
I'm gonna be big sad when Morgana fucking dies lemme tell you. I'm pretty sure he's, like, sustained by Mementos and the plan is to collapse it? Yeah, Morgana is fucked.
Goddamn HERMES, that's so cool. Morgana, our psychopomp into the bowels of the collective unconsciousness.
GODDAMIT NOTIGOR WHAT DO YOU WANT, IT IS CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE, YOU BETTER GIMME PRESENTS.
I know that you know that we all know that this isn't Igor but sometimes it fucking floors me how much he isn't Igor, jesus fucking christ. Who tf is this guy. I hope he's the Big Bad somehow bc there ain't anyone else at this point.
Please don't pull another It Was The Gas Station Attendant, Persona, I'm fucking on my knees begging you.
lmao i love the game poking the player to ensure they noticed Morgana is acting odd
Deep in Mementos is... this..... uh..... thing. A bunch of otherworldly veins flowing down into the core.
/looks nervously around
so uh. is it a hot take to say that, uh, the last segment of this game here, the Mementos Depths, is the ugliest place in the game? Just wondering because wow working through this place, I was struck by how completely aesthetically unappealing all of this is. It should be mysterious and eerie but mostly I am finding it.... blurgh. I thought Kaneshiro's Palace was pretty unappealing too, but this is bad enough I feel the need to remark on it.
/gestures at screen. What is all this????? oh god it reminds me of the Collector Base in Mass Effect 2. Except that game came out in 2010 for the previous generation console. /winces
Anyway.
The Depths of Mementos is a prison of complacency.
All of the Shadows the Thieves defeated are in the prison cells. They are relieved to be there, where they don't have to think. Everything is taken care of for them.
Man, remember back in Persona 3 when it turned out that defeating all the Full Moon shadows was actually the thing that doomed the world? Wouldn't it be hilarious is the Thieves fucked all this up the whole time? l m a o.
I honestly don't know if that's what's happening here yet, I haven't reached, like, the Explanation, but it does feel a bit like alllllllll the way back at the start of the liveblog when I was contending with the ethics of the entire idea of stealing someone's heart and what it does. The game went out of its way to justify doing it with Shido's attempted suicide, but the bridge to far for me (and thankfully for Ann too) was killing these people.
But now what happens seems to be akin to ego death instead, and.... I dunno, man, is that much different than murder?
SIGHS LOUDLY
okay is that true or is this another fucking situation where Izanami is like "WELL REALLY when you THINK ABOUT IT all I'm doing is giving humanity what they really want soooooooooo it makes you think huh, doesn't it make you think"
MAYBE THE GAME WILL PROVE ME WRONG, I DUNNO YET.
oh my god. oh my god.
IGOR!!!!!!!! IGOR IS IN THERE!!!!
LEMME IN!!!!!! LEMME IIIIIIIIN I NEED TO SEE HIMMMMM I NEED TO TALK TO HIM I MISS HIM sobs
yeah no, bet, it's igor's cell. which means Notigor locked him up? maybe Notigor is the final boss, that'd be great, it'd slot in perfectly with this place being a prison and Reverie having been stuck in the shitty Velvet Prison this whole time.
please igor help me, i'm so tired of the edgelord execution shit.
PSYCHOPOMP MORGANA!!!!!!!!!!
me pressing my face against the bars whispering I'll be back for you igor i love you
lol what if it isn't even igor in there can you imagine
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