#big soft dad™ energy

[andy-clutterbuck]

𝐀𝐧𝐝𝐲'𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧 - 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧 (𝟏/𝟏𝟕/𝟐𝟒) - 🎥:𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝟏𝟐

[whitecreekvalley-if]

Toast! What do the ro's think about children and marriage?

🍞 reporting for duty!

Mace adores kids and is pretty much hogged by his baby cousins at family gatherings, he's so good with them. They have the same energy lmao. He's also big on "marry your best friend" since he was raised sorta conservative that way. Proposing would be so planned out and he'd be sweating bullets but, hey, perfect moment. You'll be waiting on that ring for yeeeears, but it'll be worth it, he's a devoted man, and an even more devoted dad. Which means he wants kids, he'd love being a dad so much.

Alice is okay with children, but doesn't go out of her way to find herself around them, or entertain the idea of having a mini-me. She's a bartender so she looks after adult-sized toddlers anyway lol. Marriage isn't big on her mind either. Can't two people be devoted without a ring? She thinks yes, but if her partner was real adamant about it and had a good argument, she could be swayed. Same with having a child, she can be swayed but she's bigger on adoption in that case.

Judge doesn't see marriage or kids in his future. Then again, his future visions are just getting off work alive and having a cold beer before hitting the hay lol. He tolerates kids though, and has no problem being more soft (Agreeable? Warm?) when they're around, asking questions, sneezing in his face, but no plans on having his own. Marriage is not for him though. Or he thinks it isn't since he's pretty sure he'll never find a deep enough love for that, and he's fine with that. Married to the job.

Sadie is super awkward around kids, it's hilarious. Absolute Powerhouse™ in the courtroom but can't hold a conversation with anyone under 10. It's not like she hates them, she's just never been around children or gotten used to the way they are, and having her own baby kinda scares her. Marriage is a dream, but it's a secret dream. She would love the ceremony, with close family and sharing a magical, unrushed moment filled with love instead of whatever would've happened if she married her ex.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 09/03/2024

ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More) Fiddle de Chocobo - Final Fantasy VII

Ripped by Heboyi

It seems to be a running theme with the posts of Season 8 thus far to talk about all the possible new jokes that are growing in prominence on the channel. Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab covered a whole boatload of them in a medley nostalgically blending the old and new, while Willievan Afton Polkka was a deeper delve into one joke in particular, Stuck Inside. (By the way, a funny addendum: just a few days after KnightOfGames commented on that post saying there were more Stuck Inside rips to look forward to, we got another one - once again by KnightOfGames - mixing it with fucking PPAP of all sources. The guy knows no limits.) But anyway, in that aforementioned medley rip, there's one particular joke featured that stuck with me. A joke that, though its been featured in the back half of Season 7 already, I am vocally advocating for becoming the crowning jewel of Season 8. Because in case you weren't aware, 2024 is the year of the meat - The year of rips just like ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo.

Amidst the vast sea of internet personalities, IShowSpeed is certainly one of the loudest: a 19-year old streaming video games shirtless in his bedroom seemingly blew up overnight for his erratic, over-the-top reactions and genuinely fantastic knack for the dramatic and improvised comedy. As a result, the guy is an absolute goldmine of funny clips and bits, and much like someone like Jerma985 and Going Somewhere Jerma?, it was bound to inspire some rips by proxy. Hell, I'm half convinced it was IShowSpeed's infamous stream of the Talking Ben game that inspired the use of Talking Ben as a source in Mad Mew Mew Becoming Uncanny: as far back as Season 6, Speed's influence was spreading onto the SiIvaGunner channel. Yet he was missing that...X-factor, that special sauce to make his legacy one to be remembered for all time. He was funny, sure, but was he stuck in people's minds yet?

And then, in late 2023, in a frantic response to being jumpscared by Chica in a Five Nights at Freddy's game, he accidentally "showed his meat" to his entire stream. A new legend - IShowMeat - was born.

On the one hand, I am incredibly out of touch with whatever Speed gets up to - most of what I'm telling you here is only my take on things from the small snippets I've seen online. But the meat incident truly escalated like nothing I've seen in recent times - the absurdity of the reaction that resulted in its reveal, Speed's own reaction to what he'd done, and of course - the tounge-in-cheek song released by Speed's own dad making fun of the incident, I Show The Meat. This was the last thing needed to make Speed a regular on SiIva, as rips using I Show The Meat and various IShowSpeed clips together have become a recurring trend - one that, due to all that I've talked about and the genuinely fun qualities of I Show The Meat as a song, I'm absolutely enamored with.

I had a vast array of options available to me for this post, to forward 2024 as The Year Of The Meat. Yet as Big Sus Chocobo showed all the way back in the blog's beginnings, I have a very exploitable soft spot for fun uses of Final Fantasy's Chocobo theme, and ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo thus became the one meat rip I kept returning to. That is also, of course, because the rip is just genuinely well made and funny - I Show The Meat's simple but recognizable beat already infuses a new energy to Fiddle de Chocobo, and the song's vocals are done to absolute perfection, utilizing parts from another Daddy Speed song in I Love Bowling. It becomes a sort of call-and-response dynamic, with the Chocobo theme's main melody utilizing I Show The Meat and the breaks and segments inbetween using I Love Bowling - yet the two songs sound so similar that it flows from one to the other incredibly seamlessly. Despite the completely different melodies of all three songs, the lyrics are edited just enough to fit whilst still being completely audible: In other words, it's the kind of rip that is incredibly easy to sing along to. Plus, yknow, there's just something incredibly funny about hearing a song about showing one's meat layered on top of such a silly fun-time melody as the Chocobo theme!

IShowSpeed only appearing this prominently on the channel due to a big embarrassing incident sort of reminds me of the Minecraft YouTuber Dream, with rips like Five Dreams at Night 1.16 and his entire event during Season 5 effectively poking fun at him for something that was...quite harmless, in the long-run. SiIvaGunner touches upon and references a big number of YouTubers, and I think this kind of playfulness is the perfect way to go about things. Because even though I'm not much of a fan nor much of a detractor of Dream or IShowSpeed, it is absolutely hilarious to follow the creative ways that their infamous moments have been used for laughs by the SiIva team. ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo digs deeper into Daddy Speed's list of songs to make something yet funnier, but still remains completely understandable to goobers like me who just think the phrase "I Show Meat" is incredibly funny. In my eyes, having that flexibility whilst remaining funny is a telltale sign that the joke is here to stay.

(Real quick, as I couldn't find a way to properly fit it into the text - I really want to shout out i show rottytops my meat (Consensually) by circunflexo of You Are Book Smart fame as another incredible meatpost of Season 8. I may write a post about it in the future, but put simply: its incredible in its own ways, using the Talking Ben sample just like Mad Mew Mew Becoming Uncanny and a track with a crazy fun energy to it. Go listen to it after ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo - they're like two sides of the same juicy steak.)

[whitefrrari]

HOWDY ! 🤠 i'm dani — twenty2 , she/they , pst — and i'm super excited to be here on the dash sharing the ultimate Golden Retriever Boyfriend™ with you all 🫶 i can ramble forever if i don't shut myself up , so i'll just direct you down below to learn more about MYLES BANG ⤵

I. APPLICATION

spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   myles   bang   ,   most   likely   listening   to   gilded   lily   by   cults   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty5   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -gullible   yet   +genuine   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   exclusively   wearing   athleisure   ,   the softness   of   freshly   fallen   snow   ,   running   off   of   energy   drinks   in   lieu   of   sleep   ,   and   always   wearing   your   heart   on   your   sleeve    ,   followed   by   prada   l'homme   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   going   out   with   a   BANG   :   myles   secures   a   win   for   the   islanders   by   breaking   a   tie   in   the   last   two   seconds   of   the   game   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .

II. STATISTICS

FULL NAME : myles wayne bang . AGE : twenty5 . DATE OF BIRTH : october 8th , 1998 . HOMETOWN : ann arbor , michigan . GENDER : cis man . PRONOUNS : he/him . ORIENTATION : heterosexual . OCCUPATION : center for the ny islanders ( professional hockey player ) . POSITIVE TRAITS : driven , genuine , warmhearted , affable , easygoing , reliable , encouraging , generous , forgiving . NEGATIVE TRAITS : gullible , dramatic , lets people walk all over him , ditzy at times , impulsive , never shuts up , reticent about certain things . MBTI : esfj . ENNEAGRAM : type 2 — the helper . TEMPERAMENT : sanguine . MORAL ALIGNMENT : chaotic good .

III. BACKGROUND INFO

born in michigan to a pair of nineteen year olds — his mother , a nursing student & his father , a starry - eyed hockey player at msu hoping to make it to the pros one day .

[ DEATH TW ] his mother passed shortly after his birth due to birth - related complications . with her gone , his dad was suddenly thrust into the role of a single parent with zero experience & his dreams of making it big in hockey were cut short very abruptly with his newfound responsibilities ... he would have no choice but to drop out & move back home to ann arbor for support with raising myles . his father never went back to school , but he did get back out on the ice — this time , as a coach for junior league hockey teams . he was content , given the circumstances ... & of course , as soon as myles was able to stand up on two feet , his dad was shoving him out on the ice & teaching him the thing he loved most .

it started with good intentions , but the older myles got , the more intense his father acted towards the sport . he was still grieving his lost love & his lost chance at going pro ... his LOVE quickly turned into obsession , & he ruled myles with an iron fist , constantly pushing for myles to practice longer hours & to run more drills ... his father was living vicariously through him , & he wasn't going to lose 'his' shot at being a part of the nhl again . this complicated things for myles : hockey was all he'd ever known . he adored the sport more than anything in the world ; he truly felt at home on the ice . but the toxicity of his father meant that he was always working himself down to the bone . HOCKEY WAS MYLES' ENTIRE LIFE — the only thing he had going for him . he'd been taught to put his schooling , relationships , & all else on the back burner ... but myles' own insecurities about making his father proud would blind him , & he would continue to allow himself to be carved into the PERFECT player . above all , he just wanted his dad to love & accept him ... he knew he wouldn't get that unless he succeeded . so he put his blood , sweat , & tears into the sport . luckily , it would all pay off in the end . myles would land a contract — fresh out of highschool — with the pittsburgh penguins for three years . the penguins would go on to win the stanley cup his first & second years on the team , & myles' career & reputation would SKYROCKET . the new kid on the block was a force to be reckoned with , & by the time his contract was done with , myles had multiple teams waving multimillion dollar contracts in his face . [ MENTAL ABUSE TW ] being swept up into the whirlwind of professional hockey was GOOD for myles . besides the obvious $$$ & the sweet taste of success , playing a game that was so rough around the edges actually forced him to GROW A BACKBONE . him & his father would suffer from a terrible falling - out after a nasty fight where myles finally laid into his dad about all the years of anguish that he'd suffered because of him ; his father would tell him how he really felt : how he HATED myles , always had , for ruining his life ... & that was the END of their relationship . myles got back up though . he refused to let his father spoil what he had going ; in fact , it only made him want to succeed more . he would go on to sign a five year contract with the new york islanders , where his career would FLOURISH . his third year in , he'd be named captain of the team — an honor that he took very proudly ... but besides hockey , being in new york city as a young & rich pro sports player also thrust him into the spotlight ... it definitely helped that the people he surrounded himself with now included heirs & heiresses , models , ceos , & other talented & wealthy individuals . he definitely wasn't trying to use people to climb the ranks of fame ( truly , he couldn't care less about that kind of stuff ) , but myles' charisma ( & his newfound friends ) swiftly shot up his social media following , & now he's well - known nationwide for being a killer on the ice & an absolute sweetheart in interviews .

IV. PERSONALITY

depsite the hardships that myles has faced throughout his life , he manages to have a rather rosy outlook most of the times . he's a study in remaining soft in spite of it all : myles is a guy that wears his heart on his sleeve , & is typically very forthcoming with his feelings ( except when it comes to family matters ) . he is extremely warmhearted & a wonderful friend to have by your side . a very genuine & reliable person — LOYAL too . myles is remarkably easy to get along with ; it takes a lot to truly upset him ( & even then , he's forgiving to a fault ) . while he has grown a spine , in comparison to his younger days , he's still got a BAD HABIT of letting people walk all over him . deep down , he still has some insecurity ... he wants people to love & accept him . he'd do anything for the people he loves . he's also a little unserious — very silly . myles loves to make people laugh . being bodyslammed by grown ass men on the ice may have scrambled a few brain cells ... he can be a bit DITZY at times . kind of an airhead ( with love ) . there's a fair amount of 'booksmart' things that he's not familiar with because he wasn't made to focus on school . very excitable ! Golden Retriever Boyfriend™ vibes to the max . overall , a sweet & funny guy that has a knack for wiggling hockey somewhere into every conversation he has . * i will note that he is a completely different person on the ice ... has the mouth of a sailor & can be a tad 🤏 aggressive . that's really just hockey though ! if you ask him about his behavior during a game , he's gonna act like he doesn't know what ur talking about cause that's a different version of him completely .

V. HEADCANONS

has a fat tuxedo cat named gordie ( yes , after the hockey player ) & a husky named puck ( who is equally as loud as him ) . for lack of better comparison ... he is so pete davidson in the sense that he manages to pull so many hot , high - profile women to the point where it's a little wild ... like how & why ( it's because they love his nice boy swag ... & 3/4 of them are literally just his friends , the media just likes to take two people hanging out & run with it ) . has The Worst fashion sense known to man . will show up anywhere in a pair of sweats and a jersey . loves his beat up , emotional support high top converse more than anything . is a human space heater . impermeable to the cold . always giving his jacket away to whoever he's with & standing out in the snow in a t - shirt & basketball shorts . doesn't say ' oh my god ' ... says ' omg ' out loud instead . is a crystal girlie . he has a small collection & likes to lend them to his friends when he sees that they need them .

VI. WANTED CONNECTIONS

listen ... anything & everything . but here are a few ideas : party friends , bad influence ( on myles ) , good influence ( on y/m ) , sibling - like relationship , gym buddies , unlikely friends , flirtationship , fwb , pr stunt ( friendship or 'romantic' relationship ) , exes ( probably on good terms , but i do love & am open to some zest ! ) , someone myles actually dislikes , unrequited crush ( myles probably has one on y/m #loverboy ) , makeshift stylist ( someone help him ) , someone myles is trying to teach how to ice skate , bromances ( nonbinary / fem muses are included in this hehe ) , & literally anything else we can cook up ! * ex fiancée — remember how i made the pete davidson comparison ? yea ... i think it'd be fun to have a quick & short - lived engagement for myles . honestly probably Thee Relationship that boosted his fame to new heights . he definitely would not have used her for fame — myles honestly doesn't really care about that — but i still think it'd be fun to be a little messy hehe . for what it's worth , myles truly loved her and thought they'd fr be together forever ... he's a hopeless romantic , it's true ...

VII. ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS

EX - FIANCÉE : aria eden - west , EXES ON GOOD TERMS : yejin won , FRIENDS THAT SHARE A BRAINCELL : roman castillo , BROMANCE / BEST FRIENDS : elias hyun , ana chakrii . BFFSIES : benny ahn , FLIRTATIONSHIP / HAVE LITTLE CRUSHES ON EACH OTHER : rina jung , UNREQUITED CRUSH ( ON HER ) / MAKESHIFT STYLIST : mona bae , TEACHES HER TO SKATE / TEACHES HIM TO SAIL : percy grimaldi . EXES : winnie james . GYM BUDDIES / FAN OF MYLES : kazuharu miya . HIS RELUCTANT 'OLDER SIBLING' : harlowe brenner . JOCK FRIENDS / EXES ON GOOD TERMS : hayden sullivan . MUTUAL CRUSHES : rina jung .

[luesmainblog]

Alright ADHD tumblr, help me out

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet for a number of reasons, but my therapist strongly suspects I have ADHD, and even if I don't I'm aware that those with ADHD have similar struggles with what I call "flip brain", i.e. stimulants and depressants not working the way they're expected to. I will be speaking to a doctor when I'm able to and I'm not looking to take tumblr replies as gospel, but I am getting very confused and a little scared, and it's going to be a while before I can see a professional besides my therapist. So, I'm hoping somebody here will have a similar experience and be able to point my in the right direction, so I can at least stop worrying so much.

I've been testing my flip brain situation for a few years now by guinea pigging myself against different sources of caffeine. What i've found thus far is this:

Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, removes the brain fog and generally makes it easier to think and complete tasks.

Hot Cocoa evens me out emotionally, but has little to no effect on my awakeness.

Chocolate-covered espresso beans(the ones you eat) perk me up.

Soft Drinks, especially coke, perk me up and even give me a bit of Zoomies™ if I've had too much at once.

I've only had one energy drink in my life(BNHA "one for all" drink from hot topic) and it didn't really do anything to me.

Tea doesn't really do anything to me, whether it's hot, cold, normal or sweet. I get a little perk from boba and ice tea, but I think that's the novelty + cold waking me up more than anything else. My dad makes big pitchers of sun tea every summer, so if it had an effect, i'd have noticed by now.

Coffee knocks me out. It's a worse tranq than melatonin. It is my go-to sleepy drug.

The store-bought cold bottle version of the starbucks Pink Drink made me sleepy in two sips, but after it had been in the fridge for a while, I didn't really notice an effect when I drank it again.

I've been too scared to try just straight caffeine pills and see what effect they have, but I plan to do so this weekend just to have a baseline. Although that's also going to suck because at this point I kind of rely on chocolate as a brain stabilizer.

All of that background out of the way, I recently hit a wrench in my theory. I decided to try decaf coffee, because I actually really love coffee, and I thought it'd be nice if I could have it without falling asleep. But low and behold, only about 2-3 shots worth of that coffee, and despite it having as little caffeine as possible, it still knocked me near-unconscious. I tried looking into whether this might be an allergy issue, but I consider "sleepy" and "tired" to be two very different things, and besides that I don't experience any other symptom that would suggest an allergy. I am extremely stumped.

has anyone else had this experience? if you talked to a doctor about it, did you figure out what was causing it? If there's something I should ask my doctor about besides caffeine, I'd really like to know beforehand.

extra/possibly relevant info: i'm very bad at maintaining vitamin b12 and d3, and my brain becomes significantly more functional during my menstruel cycle, even if i'm not eating chocolate that week. Again, if this is triggering any "oh shit I've been there", please let me know!

Will update as needed.

[lavishedinjimin]

kinky hours masterlist

— all drabbles are 18+. for adults, by adults, about adults. all are for f.readers!

— do not repost anywhere outside of tumblr. 

rules before sending a request 

Jungkook

demon!jikook x angel!reader/fucking you inside their lair

hard dom!jungkook being pissed at OC/touch denial/but fucks her in the end lol/degradation/name-calling

neck biting/marking/implied sub!jk to dom!jk/a bit of overstim/idk what to title this

mean daddy jk denies sub!reader of his touch/name-calling/degradation

OC asks for kisses during sex and jk finds it adorable

stressed jk getting pissed off at OC’s attitude/manhandling/ball gag

crybaby™ jk x reader/ jk licking the tears off of OC’s cheeks

criminal!jk x officer!reader/kidnapped/imagine butter era jk’s concept photo vr.2

brat tamer jungkook/punishes reader for being a spoiled brat lol

sub!jungkook is tied up/giving him oral/tracing his arm tats with your tongue

ex-bf jungkook/argument turns into hate sex/reader cheated on namjoon lmao

hand kink/making origamis with daddy!jk/gagging

single dad jk/apologizing that he fucked you too hard/babysitter reader

crybaby™ jk x reader but OC uses her safeword

daddy jk takes care of you after not having sex for weeks

he finds out that you’re a Little/daddy!jk

cumming inside you without protection/creampie kink

eating you out with whipped cream

dom!jk/dirty talk/window sex

reader squirts and jungkook’s “give me more”

atgggth™ jk/eating pussy/whiny reader

jk fucks you while standing

spitting in mouth/overwhelmed reader

dom!jk/bratty reader

crybaby!jk/anal play with sub reader/ddlg 

jungkook finding your moans adorable

softdom!jk/rainy ambience/dirty talk/cuddling 

chubby reader/rough sex/praise

horny jk comes home while you’re cooking

crybaby™ jk/reader wearing cat ears and tail

riding jk’s thigh while spooning

overstimulation/clit torture/squirting

dom!jk pinning you down as he fucks you

daddy jk and his corruption kink

soft jk but reader wants it harder, hmmppp >:(

clit overstim/tied to the bed

hard dom jk/rough sex/jk fucks reader ‘inhumanly fast’...haha

passionate sex/lotus position

jk fucks reader gently and deeply™

ddlg/first time riding dom!jk/praise

blowjob while on the phone/punishment/degradration/jk meanie 

hard dom!jk/humiliation/subspace/big dick jk haha

reader does jk’s makeup as she rides his cock

daddy!jk/small reader/praise kink/size kink/wearing his baggy shirt

daddy!jk is handcuffed to the bed by babygirl  

dom!jk is jealous so he gives you hickeys

slapping/spitting in reader’s mouth/degradation/rough/choking

jk catches reader humping her pillow with his jumper on

punk jk fucks reader on her parents’ bed

crybaby™ jk and his love for eating pussy/spitting/descriptive

thigh riding/degradation/choking/spanking/hair pulling/whatever

overstimulation/reader tells jk to stop but he doesn’t listen

cockwarming/”move and i’ll take my fucking cock out of you”

punishing you in front of the members/degradation

dom jk fucks you mercilessly in front of a mirror/rough

having your first time with dom!jk

jk comes home to reader fucking herself/punishment/size kink/daddy

fucking you roughly while the members are around

dom jk/cocky jungkook energy/slow down by chase atlantic/descriptive

cockwarming :D

punishing you after you came without his permission

reader says she’s ‘too heavy’ but jk proves her wrong/against the wall

jungkook trying his spanking kink out on you

holding your thighs while he eats your cunt

dom!jk manhandles reader/virgin kink

tae walking in on you riding jungkook’s thigh

crybaby™ jk/reader got her nipples pierced/descriptive

Taehyung 

popular class president!tae x reader!OC/jealous from other girls/soft dom! tae/throatfucking

testing out his pain kink on you/face slapping/biting/choking

taehyung finding the wet squelching noises cute iykyk 

bad boy™ tae gives you hickeys in public/possessive tae

dom!tae/mutual masturbation/voyeurism

werewolf!tae asking you to run because you disobeyed him

lactation kink/slight mommy kink

pushing your head against a pillow bc you’re too loud

sweet hot tub sex

taehyung uses his ties to play with you

reader cheats on jk while fucking taehyung

mutual masturbation but ends up fucking anyway lol

ddlg taehyung/size kink

bad boy™ taehyung teachers reader how to blow

the start of bad boy™ tae x young reader ;)

movie date with a remote control vibrator/dirty talk

dom!tae/nipple play/hand kink

tae fucks you while you’re asleep/spooning

ddlg/tae is jealous of you spending your time with other guys

cockwarming while he’s gaming

soft dom!tae/praise kink

bratty reader/rough/pissed from all the dating rumors

tae makes you wear a ball gag

taehyung fucks you in a pool

getting heated with tae in the pool

ceo!taehyung/secret relationship/some spanking

fucking you sensually while Singularity plays in the background

tae x reader x namjoon/impreg kink/who can get her pregnant first

tae walking in on you riding jungkook’s thigh

Jimin 

jealous jimin breeding you to get back at a co-worker/breeding kink!!/unprotected/dom!jimin 

demon!jikook x angel!reader/fucking you trapped inside their lair

bisexual reader/jimin gets jealous from you fangirling over a female idol

jimin getting on his knees/you’re standing during oral

dom!jimin corruption kink/condescension/jimin and his kendo agenda

jimin edges you with a bluetooth vibrator in public 

making fun of jimin’s small hands until he shuts you up 

cockwarming with jimin while he works out

jimin releasing his pent-up stress on you

sub!jimin x sub! reader x dom!namjoon

softdom!jimin/swallowing his spit/praise kink

poly dom!jimin x dom!yoongi x sub!reader

truth or dare/bts taunting jimin that he can’t make his gf cum

softdom!jimin/cocky/reader says he’s the biggest she’s ever had

softdom!jimin/readers sits on his lap and he bounces her up and down

dom!jimin/use of vibrator/edging/denial/squirting

jimin and his corruption kink/small!reader

jimin makes you sit on his face for being bratty

Hoseok 

fingering you until you beg for him to stop

controlling your vibrating panties at dinner

hard dom!hobi/pissed off that you accidentally said his name instead of ‘daddy’ during sex

hobi getting annoyed that you keep moving during oral

werewolf hoseok in heat/mentions of impreg/slight blood mentions

tattooed hobi x curvy reader/praise kink/loving degradation

daddy hoseok/trying to get his attention while he’s on the phone

softdom!hobi/fucking you in front of the practice room’s mirror

masochistic hobi punishing reader

Namjoon 

innocent gf/popsicle licking/corruption kink/daddy joon

namjoon discovering your pinterest board full of kinky shit

wolf namjoon x bunny hybrid reader/bunny gets lost in the forest o_o

dom!namjoon uses a spreader bar on you/squirting/degradation

giving joon oral under the desk bc he’s stressed from working

dom!namjoon x sub!reader x dom!yoongi/spitting kink/spanking

daddy namjoon fucks you while you’re both high/marijuana intake

namjoon spits in your mouth/wall fucking

sub!jimin x sub! reader x dom!namjoon

namjoon and creampie... yum

namjoon punishing reader/overstim/degradation

softdom!namjoon/size kink!!

daddy!joon babies reader to be intimate with him 

edging with joonie and his babygirl

sucking him off while he’s on vlive

servant namjoon x princess reader/bending her over the desk

tae x reader x namjoon/impreg kink/who can get her pregnant first

Yoongi

mafia!yoongi/dom!yoongi/gunplay/brat taming/manhandling

butt play wohoo/no peneration/just thumb on butthole typa’ thing

PUBLIC. BUS. SEX./cockwarming & grinding/slight exhibitionism/honestly this is just so hot

distracted by his hands/fingering you against his piano/hand kink

sitting on yoongi’s face + overstim

pet play/kitten play with yoongi

innocent s/o never masturbated before/virgin reader/size kink

dom!yoongi x sub!reader x dom!namjoon/spitting kink/spanking

breeding kink/pregnancy kink

poly dom!jimin x dom!yoongi x sub!reader

hard dom yoongi

hand kink omfg

dom!yoongi/bondage/using a dildo on you

yoongi shows off his tongue technology/cunnilingus 

reader wears vibrating panties in public

Seokjin 

shoulder massage after a concert leads to a whole lotta imagination lol

seokjin ruining your orgasm/putting the vibrator inside your panties

yoga with seokjin/ahh yes, the downward dog/cunnilingus

dom!seokjin fucking you in front of a mirror

ball worship!!

lactation kink with seokjin aaahhhh

teasing seokjin until he snaps/big cock seokjin agenda

dry humping/cumming in his pants

daddy seokjin takes care of you after weeks of not having sex

asking jin if he can choke you

— since 2020.

[ask-the-riders]

A Security Breach riders AU sorta thing

Just hear me out, here-

Death as Freddy, because he's already pretty much the Dad™ of the group and he does have a soft spot for kids

Famine as Monty, because he's a big dude who looks kinda scary to some people, but actually has a soft boi hobby (*coughs* cooking. Monty's soft boi hobby is golfing)

War as Roxy, because of her short fuse and speculated insecurity/low self esteem/inferiority complex. She constantly pushes herself to be the best and the strongest, because who would she be if she couldn't do that? She'd be weak (and feel like she was nothing, in turn), and that's not at all what she wants

Pest as Chica, because he likes children and eats garbage. While Chica has had her little cupcake buddies, Pest has rat friends

(this got a little long, so everyone else is under the cut XP)

Connie as Sun, because she adores children and would seriously love to spend all of her time with them. Caring for them is a breeze for her, and as long as she had the energy and time for it, she probably could start turning into a bit of a neat freak. She also has more anxiety than she lets on, and she usually hides it with a smile and silly jokes

Ret as Moon, because he can be soft with kids, but his job has hardened him to the point where it's hard to be soft with anyone at all some days. He can be soft with Connie and Mortem, but sometimes, he actually needs to consciously make an effort to let his guard down around the others. He's definitely a neat freak, and he has a tendency to be a little short fused and scary at times

Abrael as map bot, because c'mon, it's funny. That, and y'know. Pirates and maps. If Foxy was still an active character in the game, I would've said they'd be him instead

Roulette as Vanny/Vanessa, because of the white rabbit theme. That, and I read that Vanessa was a follower of Afton's, which would line up perfectly wiiiiiiiiiiiiiith-

Othni as Springtrap/Afton, because he's a wacked out old man with some serious issues. Othni's scent is a mix of rotten fruit and smoke, which kinda lines up with how Afton's been burned only god knows how many times now. Othni's also a homicidal maniac that's a little too stab happy, which seems like a very Afton kind of thing, too

Then literally any child character could be Gregory, except for Paragon and Eris (since they're babies still, obviously). Every other child though? Mortem, Pixie, Iniko? All chaotic little heathens. Ivy and Marcell could be heathens too, but for the most part, they're both good kids with too much anxiety to be Gregory

Added bonus: Fresh as DJ Music Man, because 1) music and dancing, 2) cool guy vibes, and 3) goes from 0 to 100 really fricken fast and is terrifying. They're both big guys, too

Connie as Sun and a Shattered version of herself as Moon could be cool though, too. Same with Ret turning into Lyzer, or even War turning into 406. Another one I considered was Geno turning into Error, since they're already two guys stuck sharing a body, just like Sun and Moon

[thepringlesofblood]

Flinging My Opinions Out Into The Feed Vol. 4: Network Effect

this fuckin novel is 104K (ish) words long. I read it in like 3 days.

i haven’t ripped through a book like that since grade school. holy fuck. murderbot has awakened the hungry book-eating autistic dragon within me from its long slumber. hopefully I can sate it with some of my class readings. also I always listen to the audiobook after reading the book book which is easier bc as a college student I walk everywhere and have lots of listening time.

anyway. I have so so so so many thoughts. this one long so thoughts under the cut (mega spoilers for NE obviously)

I’m splitting this up into a few sections bc this was a longass book and i have a lot of thoughts to organize

General Shit

for whatever fucking reason, I’ve always read ART as having Aziraphale Goodomens’ voice in my head, and I figured that would probably change with time as I got to know it, but it hasn’t! the more of an asshole it is the more it sounds like Aziraphale’s Bastard™ Voice! the more caring it is the more Soft™ it sounds! Why does this happen to me?!

I’ll probably attempt an actual analysis of this after I’m done with the whole series (only one book away what tf???), since the only thing I like more than writing mb meta is writing good omens meta

related: I imagine Kevin R Free reading AC like ‘aw sick we got a real HAL9000 here w art I’m gonna go full robot monotone’ then hitting network effect and realizing he now has to make this beepboop motherfucker sound sensitive and sad and scared and parental and going FUCK!

He really crushed it though big props for that

so many new children to adopt!!!! my family has grown so big!!!

I don’t mean 2.0 bc a. it’s specifically described as not a baby and b. like it’s just mb and while mb is still my child, by now it’s like a few years out of college - a little directionless but self-sufficient with a support network.

However, I have adopted the following:

Amena

you now have one more parent, bringing the count up to 5! (mensah, fari, tano, mb)

collect them all and you get a decoder ring!

Three

holy shit they kinda glossed over you at the end there but you are STYLIN’

not to be like called it but i knew mb was going to eventually just free some guy(s) and then not know what to do with them

i will protect it, i want to see it grow up big and strong

maybe my favorite end-of-the-book mb bot interaction thus far!

I have synesthesia (letters/numbers/words have color, texture, personality, etc.) and the number 3 is like, red/magenta/fuschia and kind of round and shiny and has strong “femme fatale in a film noir” energy so the name is really, really fucking me up bc obviously that’s not AT ALL how I think of Three (the SecUnit) as a character!

I already had a picture of it in my head from our first meeting with it and then it got named “Three” and my brain had to do a bunch of mental gymnastics to make it fit

it just throws the name “murderbot” around bc it doesn’t know any better and i can’t WAIT to see that fallout

Iris

“prove you’re Peri’s SecUnit - show me your face” *shoots a gigantic fucking robot to save her dad* ICONIC we LOVE her

+me gives her 4 parents (martyn, seth, ART) so she doesn’t get the decoder ring but she’s in the running!

This was easily the most suspenseful book yet, and the closest the mb series has come to straight-up horror.

I’m an anxious, jumpy person by nature - close a door too loud and I’ll jump 3 feet in the air. So the whole scene with the crystalized body I was just constantly tense, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it took me a While to get exactly what was going on, and props to Martha Wells for the mystery bc it was beautifully crafted, so tbh I figured everything out just when it fuckin moved.

I’m sure if I was holding a physical book, I would’ve yeeted it right across the room. I’m just glad my laptop wasn’t on my lap!

It’s also the closest Wells’ writing has come to actually losing my understanding with technobabble. Usually the way it’s written, things just sort of...make sense, without you having to stop and work through it.

I feel like maybe it’s not talked about as much bc it’s so subtly done, but this series is constantly introducing new technology, new ways mb can hack and interact with the feed and new AIs that exist and their levels of sentience and how x aspect of life works with this advanced tech and it has always just slid into place for me. It’s one of Wells’ real assets as a writer - she can introduce a bajillion new technological things and the way she writes it through mb’s eyes just makes it intuitively understandable

it’s at least partially due to consistent worldbuilding and naming conventions. mb just calls things what they are, and makes it obvious when designating a title to something. there’s not multiple words for the same thing - wells successfully eradicates any “the blond man” or “the taller of the two” shit like you see in bad fanfiction.

it also helps that mb thinks of ai as people, kind of. It cuts down on thinking about the specific operations mb is performing with all these dang hacks bc it reads as a social interaction (though I’m sure the idea would be abhorrent to it lol).

instead of just “I did X” you get “I hacked XSys and asked it to do X", so if you don’t know what X is, you get clues from how mb interacts with it, and now you know who/what XSys is, so any reference to it and its function and any time it does something in the future, you get more context on it and it kind of reads as character development

where I started to get confused was figuring out a. exactly what 2.0 was doing and how it operated, and b. how the pre-CR Central system operated and how it infected the colonists.

a is mostly bc of the jarring shift into 2.0′s POV (which is a WILD sort of plot twist hell yeah) and bc 2.0 talks like mb 1.0 but is able to do very different things and that it exists as killware. it makes sense though and while it took me a bit, I was able to put it together.

and whole e shit wells thats an existential crisis i wasnt expecting to have.

b. is probably bc I’ve had 4 books to get used to exactly how CR (post-CR? during CR?) tech works and it took me a sec to shift my way of thinking

but when I got there? holy shit, that’s TERRIFYING, and so clever!!!!! relistening to the audiobook holy shit wells really stayed up too late watching The Thing and got scared and went hmmm I can use this fear and she was RIGHT

i cannot stress the SUSPENSE enough. the fucked up timeline. the POV switches. the helpme files. the mystery of the alien remnants. FUCK.

speaking of. 2.0

in a previous post i said something about how weird it was in exit strategy that mb kept talking about what counts as “winning”?

its death. it convinces 1.0 by saying “this is how I win”

fuck

and also some real tangible ptsd consequences: mb 1.0 hesitated bc of the flashback to miki. fuck.

I really appreciated how in ES we honed in on one sub-group of the PresAux gang (Pin-Lee, Gurathin, Ratthi), and in this one we switched it up a bit (Arada, Overse, Ratthi again bc he’s a likeable guy) and added in some of Mensah’s family, including...

ooooh Thiago. bow howdy do I have complex feelings on this motherfucker.

On the one hand I get it. this company-made robot person just drops into your family and has your sister in-law’s complete trust for some reason. I get being a lil hesitant. and he does really follow up on it and try to make it work. on the other hand he did mega piss me off for like the 1st half of the book, mostly for how he treated Mensah.

deadass? I fuckin WISH I had a SecUnit friend to come get me out of social situations I don’t want to be in. good call Mensah. but she shouldn’t’ve had to do it in the first place, man, give her space

the weird lil interrogation he does w mb onboard art is really what pissed me off. he’s so clearly in the wrong not just bc his information is inaccurate (about the assassination attempts n shit) but bc he doesn’t LISTEN TO MENSAH and take her needs and agency seriously.

sidenote: art intervening in this conversation was actually amazing. it was really like ‘mb stop spilling mensah’s beans thiago shut the fuck up and go to sleep im disappointed in both of you’

he does go to apologize to her at the end though and isn’t an idiot, so he gets those points.

he is kind of shit at both security and more importantly listening to and trusting mb’s expertise but we can forgive

the differentiation mb makes in its thought processes at the beginning b/w ‘another innocent brand new naive secunit who needs help adjusting to human society’ and ‘me’

mb keeps going ‘mensah’s family would have liked me if I was ____ but I was me’

completely disregarding that mensah’s family does like it by and large

theres some interesting ethical implications there too - mb thinks mensah’s family wants a blank slate of a person to project a personality onto, and that the issue is that mb is very much already a personality, its just a grumpy weird lil guy

also mad foreshadowing for three

the way SecUnit and Amena really meet for the first time basically? priceless.

amena pov: you’re on your way home drunk with a guy you hope to sleep with, and he turns on the lights at his place and there’s your second mom’s weird new friend(?) just standing in the middle of the room, resting bitch face, wearing all black, who scares the guy out of his fuckin mind simply by existing (mb doesn’t even say anything in this scene!!! it just stands there and waits for amena to turn and leave, then follows her!). on the way home it lists all the reasons that guy was almost certainly a rapist. you don’t want to seem stupid so you put up a bit of a fight but you feel its cut-the-bullshit eyes on you and it sucks. also, it’s basically a living security camera and you know it’s going to snitch on you, no matter what it says.

mb pov: nah nah sister you’re not takin her to a secondary location

jokes aside I really like how deadpan mb is about the whole thing. maybe that’s the wrong word but like. it’s not made a big deal of? like, there’s no sort of pearl-clutching, there’s no asking for it or victim-blaming shit, there’s no difference from any other kind of potential harm. it just goes “this is a threat. I am going to eliminate that threat.” like it would for anything else. mb analyzes the guy the same way it would any potential hostile. it doesn’t treat sexual assault as a rare occurrence or something special and weird, just goes “don’t trust this fucker, will stop him from harming my client(’s daughter)”

“If there’s one thing I understand it’s the difference bw proprietary and non-proprietary data” So, mb pretends to not know privacy boundaries sometimes but knows this one. Huh.

“Teammate”

damn for anyone else that’d be an understatement but like. mb explaining that mensah was the first person it’d been on equal footing with? that it’d been on a team with? it makes sense. ow. 

this is the book that really hammered it home for me that most futuristic/sci fi books are either utopia or dystopia but Wells did both. and even better are the interactions!!! You have horrific dystopian Corporation Rim, and beautiful utopian Preservation, and the interplay between the two and the privileges and disadvantages both sides have and the grey space in between...it’s amazing.

Even better, she made a dystopia with limits - gender, sexuality, race are just never an issue. i feel like with so many people when they have anachronistic worldbuilding in their stories, they feel like they have to make up new versions of racism and sexism and homophobia but Wells just went no, my dystopia is bad bc of capitalism, and I wanna focus on that. the world is open and accepting for real-world identities, regardless of whether you’re talking about fucking contract slavery or music festivals.

in the end.....mb finally knows what it wants. fuck. i’m gonna start crying. that’s a whole series dilemma right there, an essential part of its development and arc, something we revisit at the end of every book.  when it said ‘i know what i want’ i almost burst into tears

The Intricate Rituals (aka murderbot and art’s “relationship”)

this book was so so choice for examining what they mean to each other boy howdy

i wanna be clear - don’t clown around on my post w romantic interpretations and slash w these two weirdos. mb v clearly is not down for that kind of shit. relationships don’t have to be romantic or sexual to be meaningful and complex.

goddamn the ARC they went through??? from grief to anger and betrayal to working together and rebuilding trust to a genuinely beautiful friendship to creating 2.0 to the fucking threat of bombing a colony to some of the best comfort in a hurt/comfort setup i’ve ever seen to art inviting mb to stay???? fuck me.

highlights

during mb and art’s fight, Arada and Ratthi are both trying to be like John mulaneys bit about Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions okokokokokokokok

mb really knows how to pull a ‘no talk to me im angy’ and honestly the mental picture of the rest of the crew not seeing the almost imperceptible ways art is communicating w mb and then seeing mb blow up in return is hilarious.

“mutual administrative assistance” fuck me running thats good

mb knowing art well enough that when it needs to get its full unbridled compliance it pulls “you’re upsetting amena” like daaamn

mb reassuring art about its crew….. can we call “the first thing I checked for when i got onboard your empty corpse was if your crews dead bodies could be anywhere” a love language?

art having no qualms about blurting shit out to amena since Teacher Mode Activated and mb hating it? hilarious dynamic. i also love mb and art both being good with kids but in completely different ways.

Ratthi, mr. extrovert relationship specialist, trying desperately to parse mb and art and all THEIR drama is hilarious!!!! like, they communicate so quickly and complexly that whenever someone else tries to figure out what the fuck is going on it just doesn’t work

art trying to get mb to go to the meeting w leonide as an augmented human not a secunit because “you don’t like it” ahhhh im soft

Maybe it’s just me but mb loving the clothes art made it is adorable. It has all the stuff mb likes. It’s such a subtle thing you might not even notice it but across the series whenever mb describes clothes it has to wear it’s very specific about what it looks for, and art ticked all the boxes (lots of sealable pockets, strong/deflection fabric, sturdy ass boots, comfortable and easy to move in) 

and THEN, when mb 1.0 curls up to die under the agri bot and notices the clothes art made it protecting it in its last moments of consciousness? Poetic cinema

Art’s bedside manner is like. Surprisingly thoughtful and loving. at the end it fucking. made a lil quarantine box and ‘separated part of its consciousness’ to it and played tv so mb wouldn’t be alone and idk im weak for this kind of thing but art caring for mb the way it deserves to be cared for is just. mmmm

Ik it’s been said a million times but art going “oh god my bff’s Important Person is coming aboard I gotta clean I gotta clean” when mensah shows up is priceless

one of many all time fav quotes: “Art did know everything. It was so annoying”

Big Neurodivergent Vibes

i’m sure someone’s said it before but art and mb watching media together? parallel play, aka doing the same/similar activities in the same area/feedspace without talking or interacting too often. like cats.

mb helping art work through its memory shit after actively antagonizing it is heartwarming - especially after they find out its personal memory was altered and art is just. Silent? in the group chat for a while and mb speaks for it? Art’s not here rn can I take a message? Beautiful. Big neurodivergent mood. talking for ur friend who can’t talk rn is nd to nd communication.

also, i don’t know how i missed it before but the clear division of subjective and objective time, and getting fucked up by it sometimes? in previous books it’s just been for emphasis, but in NE it actually affects things.

*mb facing the wall in order to talk to three* SecUnit to SecUnit conversation

ADHD solidarity - playing worldhoppers in the background to take up processing space while you work on important shit

i can’t believe i didn’t put this together sooner - special interest: soap operas media, sanctuary moon in particular

controversial opinion? mb is really empathetic. ppl have probably made the case for mb having a sort of low empathy situation going on but like if you look at its actions it feels other’s feelings and cares so so much. like, looking at how it responds when art’s dead, when it’s trying to help the contract laborers, when it’s trying to help its crew, when it’s trying to help art’s crew? it has had to deaden itself out of necessity but the emotions are still very much there. tbh this might be me projecting my sympathy for having sudden, intense, hard-to-identify emotions and being more “sensitive” to loved ones getting hurt than anticipated, but also like. think of all the times it’s like “fuck, im having an emotional reaction to this. I wasn’t expecting that.” idk if we can call that hyperempathy but like. it’s sure something.

alexithymia is a thing where its hard for you to identify your emotions. its really common in nd people. need i say more? mb never knows what the fuck its feeling

Beautiful Representation (mostly queer)

CASUAL THEY/THEM REP YESSSSSSSS and not just like one either!!!! Mihail, Matteo, Turi, a whole bunch of em!!! ahhhhhhh

Lesbian love is stored in the “babe” - legit 90% of overse and arada’s dialogue is just “hey babe” “babe” and you know what? that’s valid. i love it and i love them. 

ik you could say The Feed is kind of a catchall deus ex machina for some things but i do not care! especially when it comes to just storing your gender info somewhere everyone can see and acknowledge and you don’t have to do shit about it!

some fun feed designations I noticed

Arada is “female/femme”

Leonide is “female/femme-neutral”

none of the feed designations include pronouns, but mb just knows them and uses them intuitively anyway. maybe it’s stored in a different part of the feed? like translation/language module? idk but im happy

mb noted at one point that “most” humans have “medium brown” skin tones - transcendent, one of my favorite things about this series is that skin tone is mentioned in the initial description of almost everyone mb meets, and its almost never just “white” - plus, its never given like. more attention than its due, or weird food comparisons.

it also briefly mentions Preservation having accommodations for mobility aids at the big festival/concert, and having a designated quiet area. i just. it’s so good.

The Fainting Couch

Explanation

bc mb is so emotionally constipated, any time that any emotion is expressed it takes me the tf out and I feel like a lady in a victorian novel retiring to my fainting couch to die from breathing too hard.

it’s like that moment in Pride and Prejudice (2005) where mr darcy helps lizzie get into the carriage and for a brief moment their hands touch and they spend a whole camera shot on it and its A BIG DEAL even though its not a ‘big deal’

there was definitely a post that made me connect these two things but i do not remember exactly when i saw it.

so this is a list of times where i was taken the fuck out by the EMOTION of it all!

it’s my friend. it helped me because it wanted to, because it could

fuck, the entire section of time b/w mb getting aboard art and art coming back is excruciating, it’s littered with all sorts of grieving inner dialogue, culminating in...

“my friend is dead!”

owwwwww the grief hurts and even more so, the later 180° from grief to betrayal hurts

mb repeatedly referring to the PresAux gang as “my humans” 😩

The Entire “ART meets PresAux after re-establishing control of the ship” scene

like mb is in such a vulnerable position in so many ways that it wants to reassert control however it can and also it’s right, and these two parts of its world are colliding and the PresAux gang have private information about it that ART doesn’t have and vice versa and it’s so desperate to keep them from sharing it but it doesn’t have a choice

The fucking convo bw mb on the med platform and art and the crew all getting to know each other and the anger and betrayal and comfort and EMOTION!!!!! Fuck me!!!!

also ngl i was also p mad when I realized art did in fact cause some problems on purpose

highlighted quotes:

trusted friend

ow my fucking heart

I did what I had to do, you should understand that

“I’m not talking to you on the feed! You’re not my client and you’re not my-“

OW BITCH OW CALL 911 IM ON THE FLOOR

“Art? You’re scaring Amena. You’re scaring me.”

My heart…… and the realization that art hadn’t been plotting and planning but was just scared and wanted a Trusted Friend?

“And it hit me then that ART had been desperate and terrified since the moment the Barrish-Estranza ship had sidled up and done whatever it had done. It had tricked its captors into taking it to me not because it had some kind of grand strategy but because it needed me” OWWW

The apologies? The LOVE???? Bitch I’m crying.

“I’ve lost my crew. I won’t lose you”

i spent a solid 24 hrs thinking about this quote before picking up the book again

“I just really like you. Not in a weird way.”

aahhhhhhhhh

i didn’t know there was a WHOLE ASS OTHER PERSON there for this though!!!

Senior Indah Saw Things that day, goddamn.

also I love that after saying “I like you too” the first thing Mensah does is say “get this secunit to medical immediately” bc like the implication of “if its saying this kind of shit its gotta be really injured” like it’s continuing the conversation from before but like its still funny

like this was in response to mensah saying ‘go to medical’ basically and i feel like it’s bc someone else cares about its wellbeing for its own sake, not just for its capabilities, and it’s just. so many.

“They’re sleeping, I told myself. 2.0 and Central wouldn’t feel a thing”

FUCK

in case you don’t recognize this. its from. when 2.0 and central and targetControlSystem all get stuck in the star thing and mb 1.0 has to destroy it and kill them and it tells itself it won’t hurt them, it’ll be like they’re sleeping, and i fucking SOBBED

like 2.0 we barely knew ye but also wells you HAD to spend the past chapter or so having 2.0 endearingly bouncing around 1.0′s mind just so we don’t forget its a person fuck fuck fuck

the whole final chunk of conversations is just one hit quote after another

“You made me sound….safe”

and then art understanding and addressing the concern and art knowing and accepting what murderbot is, in its entirety, because its never not known.

“No one had ever rescued me before”

“I don’t want to not see you again”

“But I like being with ART. I want to keep being with it” FUCK IM ALREADY ON MY FAINTING COUCH DUDE GET THE DEFIBRILLATOR

Little Things

Mb uses the same words for everyone regardless of gender. “Marital partner” “offspring” “child”

we only spent a few minutes with her but I love Farai. she just casually goes “hey uh mb what’s your relationship situation with my wife” and mb goes NO and she’s like understandable have a nice day

I understand now that post about how some people just sort of get Assigned British Accent At Audiobook and I was very surprised that it was just Amena and not Thiago. also, idk why, but whenever I imagine Amena she looks like Shuri from black panther

Ratthi going from “I’ll apologize to it” (ASR)  to “secunit is a very private person. It doesn’t like to talk about its feelings” and “I could hear Ratthi telling them to drop the subject” u know what that is? Growth!

Thiago being worried about secunit giving amena Designated Drone Babysitters and ratthi being like no lol that’s how it shows affection

the gang finding the secunit killed by its governor module and just talking about how terrible that is right in front of mb recovering from the trauma of having one???? like come on guys thiago has an excuse he’s a bit of a dick but stop looking at this corpse that could’ve easily been mb’s if it didn’t hack itself and talking about how horrifying it is to you, it fucking knows!!!! like how fucking insensitive can you be??

but also i do appreciate that presaux still fucks up and doesn’t get everything right all the time it’s realistic

at some point in the middle when basically everyone is on art and having like a video conference about their plans, amena is with mb and has marked herself as “private” or something so she doesnt have to participate and is eating “imitative vegetable fragments” or something and basically i realized

she’s watching the drama goin on in the zoom meet w/ camera and mic off eating popcorn.

icon

Mb: wow humans sure are stupid im glad I’m good at threat assessment Also mb: *does all the wrong things in a horror movie when it finds The Control Room, giving me 7 discrete heart attacks*

I love my new child three, but i’d like it a lot more if wells didn’t keep switching POVs to it right when climactic things happen to mb 1.0

Mb detaching it’s own fucking hand to get out of restraints? Iconic

The Gang: art are u sure you can convincingly pretend to be evil? Art: oh don’t worry about it ;) 😘🤫

sidenote: Art is the biggest drama queen in the galaxy. all that media gave it so many theater-kid tendencies. including the homicidal ones. holy shit.

“There’s a lot about this that I don’t understand but I am participating anyway” #relatable i love three so much

mb realizing it’s kind of a damsel being rescued by three during the escape and being vaguely annoyed but also completely fine with it is the kind of energy I need in my life 

Thiago keeps calling Amena “my daughter” but she repeatedly calls him “uncle” and i don’t know if its just language difference or what but like e.g.

“My daughter, are you sure you’ll be alright with a corporate-” “I’LL BE FINE UNCLE”

ohhh he got UNCLE-ZONED

speaking of, “Ok third mom” AAAHHHHH

“I am here against my will and you are going to regret that” new catchphrase dropped

i was right! there was a “wait a second secunit is shorter now??” bit!!! rip arada who was like yeah ur hairs a little different and mb replies with “I also got shorter”

Ik it’s a really serious situation n shit but imagining mb 1.0 staggering around a giant warehouse fighting with the knock-off copy of itself it made in its head is fucking HILARIOUS

(at the end of the book)

ART - oh ya I definitely already sent a distress signal through the wormhole like a month ago

Everyone: FUCK YOU 

Kevin R Free Callouts

this guy does an amazing job with this book. ive said it before ill say it again - the man’s an artist.

he does pronounce things weird sometimes though. this is a comprehensive list of pronunciation crimes thus far.

Buoy

KRF: BOY

me: BOO-ee

Capsule

KRF: CAP-syew-wool

me: CAP-sull

Thiago

KRF: tee-AH-go

me: thee-AH-go

(i also do this with thalia though and some people pronounce ‘thalia’ ‘taw-lee-ah’ not ‘tha-lee-ah’ so maybe its me?)

Overse

KRF: OH-ver-say

me: OH-verse

(same disclaimer as above - i’ve never met anyone with this name and maybe krf has)

and by far, the most grievous

Holo

KRF: HOE-low (long o, like “odor” or “most”)

me: HAW-low (short o, o like “coffee” or “job” or “hologram”)

now i am going call out some compliments bc he is a great voice actor

I loved his take on the Targets’ voices, it was so creepy and reminded me of Night Vale Kevin

the difference in mb’s and three’s narration was distinct and consistent and easy to tell apart - I like three’s lil bird voice!

there were a lot of fucking voices to do this time around and i’m frankly amazed he kept em all straight, big props.

there were a lot of emotionally charged moments for mb here and he fuckin nailed them. i was in public while listening to some of the ending shit and I wish I had a fuckin opaque faceplate to keep my expression under control!

sorry this was so ludicrously long, but its a ludicrously long book. like, the ASR audiobook is about 3 hours, NE is 13 hours

fuck i cant wait to finish the series i’ll miss reading new ones but i will sink into the pool of fan content like a hot tub

[the-backspin-alchemist]

omg pls share more about ur half-drow alucard energy dnd character he sounds incredible

I absolutely missed this so this is SUPER late I bet, BUT

(long post, character stuff below the break)

In the current campaign I am taking part in (currently GMing, but given that it's a rotating hotseat campaign and my big siege arc is coming to a close, that's about to change), I play a half-drow ranger named Jace Caellos, who basically was initially designed as "Alucard, but a half-drow, and given the lore it's his mom that used to be the big scary overlord"

Mind you, a bunch of tweaks happened along the way because our setting is SUUUUPER homebrewed, while still retaining SOME stuff from Forgotten Realms lore?

Super-boiled down backstory: Jace is the product of a loving marriage between a Drow warlord that left the Underdark and made a name for herself on the surface because she didn't like how annoying Lolth and her people were, and a human apothecary that stands very much by the idea that everyone deserves to be treated well and that also believe that the Underdark had a number of herbs and fungi and possible means of helping treat illnesses that were being ignored because...Underdark.

When Jace is about 17, a bunch of assholes lynch his dad for willingly marrying and having a kid with a drow, and his mom goes nuts and leads a brutal and bloody campaign across the countryside out of rage and grief.

Jace tries to stop her.

She nearly kills him.

He lives, barely, learns How To Ranger over the span of two years, and tries to stop her again.

She nearly kills him, has a breakdown at nearly killing her own kid, and then lets him kill her.

Campaign ends, Jace is now emotionally traumatized, and goes back into being the Ranger in the Woods.

Fast forward another two and a half years, and he joins up with the Adventurer's Guild out of Holtan as a means of trying to put all his fancy Ranger skills to work, and as an excuse to dip his toe back into society.

During this time, he is a GRUMPY individual. Extremely snarky, in many cases vaguely condescending,

He's got his own set of "rules" that he insists on following, a sort of code to keep him from going off the rails (since that's what he did in outright killing his mother, in his head.) He also has a very complicated relationship with the gods, as both parents basically had the idea of "respect them so long as they're not active dicks to people."

Absolutely didn't get along with the dwarf in the party (which later on was GENIUSLY improvised by said dwarf's player by being because he recognized Jace as his mom's kid almost immediately, and had fought against her). He's since gotten less uptight about things, and he and the barbarian have an understanding now that certain things are out in the open.

He's more or less mentoring our kenku rogue in How To Morality, since he's basically a Chaotic Neutral literal magpie that doesn't get why you can't just take things that you think are pretty, or mess with statues of the gods for fun, and is also just generally much younger than the other adventurers.

He's got a sort-of rapport with the aasimar paladin of the party, who he sees as being the party member with a strong code (even if he thinks she's impulsive as hell at times), and she seems to have a soft spot for him for...some reason. (@punkpuppydragon plays said paladin, named Oz, so if he wants to shed insight on that, he can.)

His..."love interest" (which I blame entirely on @charlezarrd) is the party's tiefling sorcerer, Ashes. He got along with her because she WOULDN'T just rush straight into danger, is generally nice to most people to a fault, and seems to have a fairly decent head on her shoulders. Then Charles took a one-liner from a session about Jace getting annoyed at a gnoll for attacking Ashes and went "oh wait they could be a Thing™" and has been vaguely pushing in that direction for a bit (until Oz asked Ashes out, turning this whole situation into a weird love-triangle thing I won't totally get into here).

Jace helped Ashes tame and adopt Chester the Mimic, and is kind of currently trying to deal with two tiny Displacer Beast cubs that are rowdy but otherwise are basically just larger kittens with weird tentacly-things (since that's basically what displacer beasts are).

He's had at least two mental breakdowns so far due to The Trauma™ (the last one gave me a convenient excuse to have him leave the party and find his parents' journals when I started my current stint as GM to avoid having him just be the DMPC of the arc), he's oddly polite when dealing with people that aren't in the party (mostly due to his dad's influence) and has become much less obnoxious towards the current party members after his last breakdown when fighting a werewolf that murdered his own father out of sheer pettiness and revenge (a thing that Jace naturally has his own issues with).

He carves stuff in his spare time, and has unwittingly seduced a banshee with a stupidly-high Persuasion check and then a natural 20 on a Performance check for a song (he then absolutely misunderstood the intentions of said banshee, and things got awkward when he had to explain he was asexual and wasn't interested).

He lied to a gnome once about her whacky killer werewolf boyfriend actually loving her, because he didn't want to mar the guy's image in her mind too much (Ashes immediately called him out on this, with the gnome unknowingly present to see all this).

He got bodied by an ancient golden dragon and collapsed in front of the Guild Hall, bleeding out, because he can't even nearly die in a manner that isn't dramatic, which was fun.

He threatened a silver dragon (disguised as an elf, in fairness, but who was a known silver dragon) for being creepy towards Ashes.

He plays the kalimba.

That's Jace. He's weird. And fun to play.

[arrowverse-next-gen]

The Queen Family

For information read more (if you have any questions feel free to send in an ask)

Felicity Smoak & Oliver Queen: The Parents

Felicity runs a successful company called Smoak Tech while also running Team Arrow from the Bunker.

Oliver runs the city in the daytime & the nighttime as Mayor & Green Arrow. He does this while also making enough food to feed a college.

William Clayton: The CEO

William is married to Zoe Ramirez but is still very good friends with his ex boyfriend.

He helps Felicity run Smoak Tech & The Bunker while everyone is out on the field.

Thomas Jonas Queen: The Emerald Archer

Thomas is originally from another earth.

His mother died when he was young, his dad died on the Gambit.

He and his sister were separated from that point on until meeting again on this earth.

His girlfriend Jade Ramirez was with him through everything but when they jumped earths, they broke apart and lost each other for a few years.

Thomas is his name but Oliver is the only person who calls him that. Everyone else calls him TJ & Jade calls him Tommy.

Elizabeth Thomas Queen: The Teenage Runaway

Oldest daughter & Ada’s twin

Eliza’s first ever boyfriend, despite her father’s wishes, was Jason Todd. They had a strong relationship even if it was her first one. He died before her 18th birthday.

After Jason died, Eliza became anti-vigilante work and decided that if her family wanted to continue this business, she was going to transfer her college plans to take place down in Vegas with Donna & Quentin.

She had a rough 3 years (partying, rebounds, drinking, drugs etc) but by the time she turned 21 her cousin set her up with a friend’s friend and after they started to date all of those bad days were over

And then Jason came back...

Adaline Dearden Queen: The Star

Ada is a Daddy’s girl. She loves her mom but she will openly admit to Oliver being her favorite.

She met JJ a week after she was born and since they grew up together, they became very close and started dating as early as possible.

They broke up once or twice (Ada denies ever kissing another man during this time, Eliza takes the fall for her on the pictures released)

Ada moved to NYC after graduating High School so she could attend NYU and spend more time with JJ since he was there for work.

When Ada is home, she spends family time by dressing in leather and annoying Oliver on the field because she’s extremely cocky and has a crossbow that is purple.

Mia Donna Smoak: The Troublemaker

Mia is a Momma’s girl. Sorry not sorry @ Oliver

Though she is a momma’s girl, she is a lot like Oliver when he first came back from the island.

She is uncontrollable on the field to the point that she had to form her own team as a separate branch from TA so Oliver would stop telling her what to do.

Jason was like a big brother to her and when he died and Eliza left, she became even more uncontrollable.

She is “Dating” Connor Diggle but she refuses to admit it. She will however keep telling people she’s dating Jocelyn Anastas because she’s her soulmate.

Miriam Moira Queen: The Playboy

Oliver’s worst nightmare is having any child be who he was before the island..Miriam is his worst nightmare.

She’s the older twin to Owen.

She’s very musical.

But very bad at math.

She’s also a lesbian which is the only reason Oliver has not died of a heart attack yet.

She’s very determined to take over CEO from William while also playing every single Oliver Queen card in the book of Frat Boy(tm)

She calls herself one of the guys but Eliza is her favorite sister because she gets to play dress up and make a mess with make up

Eliza’s boyfriend is also another reason why Eliza is her favorite.

Owen Quentin Queen: The Soft Boy

Complete opposite of Miriam

Looks like he would have f*ckboy energy but he doesn’t

His best friend sells drugs but he’s worried he’d get grounded or die if he even looked at them

Also very musical

Likes to travel a lot even though he loves his family

Better at math than Miriam

Claire Noah Queen: The Lone Wolf

She never knew her mom because her mom died not long after she was born

She was on the Gambit when it went down, but didn’t make it to the lifeboat

She was found on the island by Talia and raised by the League of Assassins until she ended up on Earth 1 on a mission and found Thomas.

She likes the idea of having a big family but she’s very hesitant to get close to anyone because of what happened and what she went through

She lives with Thomas 50% of the time at his apartment downtown in Star City because he and Jade are the most familiar to her.

Rosemary Blair Queen: The Baby

Rosemary was found not far from the Bunker when she was 4

She has the power of invisibility but she doesn’t use it because she’s sneaky enough on her own

Her parents were killed in a battle on her earth so her sister sent her through a portal to this earth to be with another family

Mia is her favorite because she had a Mia on her earth and so she immediately connected with her.

[iimcgine]

[ MUSE 22 ] ●● is that ALEX FITZALAN? no, that’s just ARTHUR “AJ” FAULKNER JR, the 18 year old CISMALE who is a COLLEGE FRESHMAN. some say they’re LAZY & COCKY, but their family and friends will swear they’re SENSITIVE & LOYAL. when i think of them, i think of a baseball diamond, matted sweaty hair, cleats, a shot glass, a tabloid cover, and a wannabe. i wonder if HIS family knows that HE’S ADDICTED TO PILLS AND DOESNT PLAN ON GETTING CLEAN. ●● ( pain ? )

i’m  hopeless  and  got  over  attached  to  a  muse  before  even  knowing  if  i  could  take  him .  catch  me  at  being  The Worst™ .  here  is  aj  faulkner  (  don’t  call  him  arthur  he  will  never  be  arthur  junior  it  is   just   aj  )  .  he  is  hopeless  in  practically  all  senses  of  the  word ,  but  wasn’t  always  like  that .  pls  just  love  my  messy  son  who  is  too  broken  for  this  world ,  thank  you .  as  always ,  if  you’d  like  to  plot ,  please  press  the  lil  like  down  there  or  react  on  d/scord   &   i’ll  come  plot  with  you !

growing up,  aj was a typical first born.  literally from the get go,  he was just a soft boye who absolutely loved his family.  when ava was born, he was Ultimate big brother. his childhood consisted of not exactly knowing he had famous parents? like despite their popularity, imagine this is aj. 

by age five, he was just too much. like he was so happy and jumpy and full of energy that arthur and isabella put him in every sport or activity they could think of  ––  and hell he loved them all. he also slowly started to understand what his dad did and would tag along as much as possible to set. 

thats another thing too  ––  aj was obsessed with his dad. constantly attached to his hip whenever he got to see him, always used the excuse that he would go to bed when dad went to bed to get to stay up later. oldest boys always idolize their fathers ... right?

still, after trying practically every sport, he found the one. by seven, he’d chosen baseball  &  man oh man was that the kid’s first love. he’d gotten the best education, obviously, but he was already sure as a kid he was going to be a professional baseball player. he spent every day of the week that arthur was home annoying him until he’d play catch for as long as aj could milk it. he talked isabella’s ear off in the car to and from practices and games and tournaments about what he did or what he was gonna do next game.

depression tw for the next few bullets !  it wasn’t until elementary school that it started getting noticeable that his excitement wasn’t constant like it was when he was a kid. baseball started to become a routine thing rather than the happiness it once was for him. he still loved the sport, but when he got in the car after a game, all he did was sleep instead of talk his moms ear off  ––  and when he got home, he immediately went to bed, not even noticing if his dad was home or not. and when he didn’t have baseball? he’d just walk himself into his room. family dinners he wouldn’t talk. he also suffered from constant headaches but it practically took ages for him to tell his parents that. 

it wasn’t a direct switch in character either. over the course of about a year, he’d slowly started to shut himself down and out.

when he was in seventh grade, he finally asked his mom to take him to the doctor (those headaches were getting too bad to fake) and weeks later after the tests came back, he had been diagnosed with depression.

despite him asking his mother not to tell anyone, it was obvious arthur knew as soon as they got home. over the next several months, it was obvious that ava and holland knew as well (he wasnt exactly sure what they knew –– just that something was different)

his high school years consisted in him being constantly reminded to take his medicine (and it was never a bad thing, really. they were his family and they were trying to help him..? right?). he just went to school, played baseball (and actually started enjoying it again), and stayed at home.

he verbally committed to play baseball at ucla as just a junior, & his last two years at home were as normal as they could be. he wasn’t as close to arthur as he was when he was a kid (has a lot to do with idolizing him so much as a kid –– it’s Pain™, my specialty). aj’s self esteem was shot because of how arthur seemed like the perfect person to him. it didnt help that aj wouldn’t talk to him much, ig.

however, only a few months after he started his freshman year of college, his mom died in the car accident. he did his best to stay focused in school, but there was no use. he dropped out in december before the season even started. 

the boy hadn’t had a sip of alcohol until he entered college, and currently can’t make it through the day without at least two drinks. he fucked up his knee his senior year of high school, and got on some pain medicine (that, at the time he refused to take, there might have been complications with his depression meds and he refused to get addicted) well, now that bottle is empty three times over and he’s got another source for that sort of thing.

he’s not really sure why he’s still here? he turned eighteen last month, he could go back to la. despite his fucked up relationship with his father, he’s still got a heart for his sisters.

he didn’t really start getting in the tabloids until he dropped out of college. it was easy to go party when you had friends all throughout hollywood. the distraction from his thoughts and his moms death was really all he wanted. it was only a bonus that it fucked with arthur’s reputation. now, he had all the drugs and alcohol in secret  ––  but hey, special trips out to hollywood for more distractions and to piss his dad off every once in a while was just an extra fuck you.

he lost his best friend in that car accident and he is Not Doing Well, pals

[andy-clutterbuck]

Edgar Bradley Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities: The Murmuring (2022)

[andy-clutterbuck]

Penguin Bloom  ❈ 2021❈

[andy-clutterbuck]

Rick being soft/goofy with his family and friends | requested by @daddybeargrimes

[andy-clutterbuck]

Penguin Bloom (2021)

[andy-clutterbuck]

Penguin Bloom (2021) | requested by Anonymous