#bl scholarship

[squeakygeeky]

Calling all BL academics! You should check out Intersections: Gender and Sexuality in Asia and the Pacific Issue 49, June 2023. It's devoted to Thai BL and it's Thai scholars, publishing in English, and available free. So basically everything I ever wanted.

Thai Boys Love (BL)/Y(aoi) in Literary and Media Industries: Political and Transnational Practices - This is the introductory article. One interesting takeaway is that there's a market for western M/M romance in Thailand and I'm dying to know what sort of titles have gotten Thai releases.

Chinese Historical BL by Thai Writers: The Thai BL Polysystem in the Age of Media Convergence - I didn't read this one. It's about the phenomenon of Thai writers writing danmei set in ancient China.

Authorial Revisions of Boys Love/Y Novels: The Dialogue between Activism and the Literary Industry in Thailand - This one was super intersting. It was about how the backlash to certain problematic tropes affected both revisions to Y novels and their tv adaptations. It uses Jittirain as a case study and includes passages from 2gether that were rewritten.

Boys Love (Yaoi) Fandom and Political Activism in Thailand - This article has a lot about Not Me, both about the backlash to the novle due to it being originally a GOT7 fanfic (allegedly) and the political context for the series. It also discusses a few other series related to the youth movement and marriage equality.

Heterosexual Reading vs. Queering Thai Boys' Love Dramas among Chinese and Filipino Audiences -This really only covers up to 2019 and as we all know everything is changing fast. I'll be interested in future scholarship that covers the current period. Basically expands on some of Baudinette's work.

Provincialising Thai Boys Love: Queer Desire and the Aesthetics of Rural Cosmopolitanism -I just skimmed this since I'm not familiar with either series mentioned or the rural culture of Isan.

[theyaoishelf]

We're back back back back back again! And this time with a guest! To celebrate pride, we're discussing BL scholarship with the fantastic Dr. James Welker! 

[heretherebedork]

DaYeol and his gay panic is so real but it's also tempered with the knowledge that he has a real reason to panic. His crush is someone who accused him of sexual assault and insisted he apologize and has not let up on him since then. TaeHyun seems to feel no regret and has no comprehension of why that might hurt or affect DaYeol. Yes, he's becoming a friend but he's also becoming a friend entirely on his terms of how the world works.

Neither DaYeol nor TaeHyun know the other person at all, they have never talked or tried to understand each other. But DaYeol is aware of that but TaeHyun is not.

DaYeol is neat and tidy, he is careful, he is quiet, no one knows him even when they think they do. TaeHyun is big and loud and smart and funny and people still don't know him but they also don't think they do.

(They are both painfully lonely in their own way, one clinging to idea of loneliness as a comfort and the other covering up his loneliness with laughter and teasing even when he goes home to nothing but pain.)

I don't find this story particularly romantic. I mostly want to place both boys in therapy and promise them that the future is better. I really want to protect DaYeol because you can see how the teachers still judge him for the accusation TaeHyun made, the way the world is still looking at him as something he isn't... but that is a lot like the world telling TaeHyun he's a murderer when he's not.

It's about the struggle to be what the world expects you to be when you simply aren't.

[kiss-your-eclipse]

it was never addressed again so i'm just gonna pretend everything is fine but like,,,,, does akk still get his college scholarship? u know, the one that comes w the "best boy" award that akk got for being suppalo's best puppet? bc that's what i was so scared about with the committee hearing for him and thua, but the award nor the scholarship is even brought up so is it fine?? does he still get it?? is my boy going to get to go to college???

[skepwith]

Fujojocast No. 16: Confronting BL Misconceptions

This is a really good podcast episode about the backlash against BL media—and by extension slash fic—in the Anglosphere (e.g. the "fetishization" claim), which is mostly driven by anti-trans views and purity culture. I love that this pod presents an East Asian perspective and how that broadens the discussion. Also, the episode summary (at punkednoodle.com) includes a link to some great resources at fujoshi.info.

In this podcast, I talk with Sam Aburime, an independent scholar, and Thomas Baudinette, Senior Lecturer from Macquarie University, about this growing vitriol on BL media and culture, its prevalence in Anglophone discourse, the various feminist and queer studies from all over the globe that are lost in this discourse, and how different communities are using BL as a tool to deepen and broaden their understanding of queer identities and media. —Khursten Santos

(I haven't included links for fear of messing up search results. I don't know if that's still a Tumblr problem.)

[bengiyo]

Cooking Crush Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Prem and Dynamite were being moody about their romances, so Samsi took them back to his hometown to get a break and focus on their preparation for the food competition. Coincidentally, this is also where Ten ended up, and so Dynamite dragged Metha along so they could use Ten as cover. Prem and Ten were stressed about their separation and their lack of conflict, and fought about it via Ten's friends before reuniting and affirming they missed each other. Meanwhile, Ten has been learning from a young doctor who resembles his mom. We left at Ten having a breakdown after carrying her to the hospital.

I love that we called exactly what this show was doing based on all the cues it was giving, and it was exactly that Ten was back in that trauma and reliving it. I'm so glad Prem is here to help remind him that the world isn't that cruel, and also that he did well in getting Earn to help.

I love Prem and Ten. I am now a Babii.

It was such a good choice to have the two doctors training Ten be real with him after that, reminding him that doctors aren't gods and people will still die even if you try your best and make no mistakes.

Dish 9: Pan-Fried Eggs with Toppings: Celebrating Our New Status

LOL I love Dynamite. He deserves to tease Fire.

Dy is so valid for falling for a gay who saved him from what might have felt like a bashing.

Ten is so valid for turning down a group social event after all this stress and just wanting to be with Prem.

I'm so here for Dynamite getting Fire to say these things aloud.

I actually really like Ten explicitly asking for Prem to stay the night, and Prem saying no because he doesn't want to get too distracted right now. I like that he said he wants it, but wants to come back to it after the competition. So important that they ended with cuddling to affirm their closeness.

YOU CAN'T FALL IN LOVE IF YOU AIN'T CLUMSY.

Oh my god. Dynamite's face when Fire yelled at him.

Now why are these two pretending in front of their friends.

Gun looks cute as hell cooking in this pink sweater.

I never tire of these cooking experience fantasy sequences. I want to see one for Dynamite and Fire, and Samsi and Metha.

Babii check in. Does Gun wash Off in every show?

It really is so simple that they can call. I like them choosing an effective distance.

I think I'm with Samsi now. I worry that Dy and Prem might be too distracted. This competition is really important to them.

This is SISTAHS TIME. NO BOYFRIENDS!

Wow, I love Dynamite even more. You don't meet fem guys like him if they didn't need to be this strong.

I'm with Samsi. They are a trio. I don't like them hiding something from him just because they have boyfriends.

I really like this conflict with Samsi. BL friends are usually overly supportive of the relationship and are never bothered by the changes in their friend dynamic. I like that Samsi is made for feeling like he doesn't belong and being made to feel like a fifth wheel in his friend trio. Two bottoms do not make an outfit, but three is a sisterhood; and Prem and Dy forgot that. There is so much to love in this episode.

Regarding Dynamite: This is exactly what I expected of him. You don't meet fem guys like him if they are loved and supported. You get this when they have to be. Dynamite has to support himself. We know he is a prodigy, so he's probably riding a scholarship to stay in school right now because he can't go home. I had been wondering for weeks why he didn't call his parents when he needed housing, and this is the obvious answer. It also explains why Samsi took him in even though he doesn't like people in his house. Because when you're gay, you take care of your own. I wish we focused more on the queerness of Dynamite in the posts that we pass around.

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD: WHAT CAREER IS THE BEST FOR YOU [ career series reading #01 ]

notify: please do remember this is a general reading- take what is resonate and leave what is doesn't, to choose a pile, kindly close your eyes and take a deep breath and choose the one that your soul find it alluring, images that used are my screenshot from the "Bejeweled" music video of Taylor Swift.

❝ ⁱ ᶜᵃⁿ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ᵖˡᵃᶜᵉ ˢʰⁱᵐᵐᵉʳ ❞ 

PILE ONE PILE TWO PILE THREE

masterlist • pick a card • paid services form

PILE ONE

You're the type of person who is intellegent and have alot of creative ideas or plans, you are naturally a innovative person who is clever and do their best in any thing or in a situation, you use the power of your mind or intellegent to achieve what you want and need in life. you use your possible reasoning to solve conflicts or confront issues that may occur in the present and for future, you might be good at communication and as well in argumentative situation or in a simply dicussion since you are someone who uses smart word and know what your going to say so you rarely to lose in argument though you can be appear as competitive individual. Also you judge very wisely and uses mind often rather than heart, you want to pursue a career that related to law, science or a writer or journalist for a living. you are also someone who doesn't afraid to show how much they enjoy life, you like to try things, you have full faith. like i said above that you uses mind than heart, there's some people who choose this pile uses their heart rather than their mind, like listening in their heart and follow their bliss. I think some people here are too young maybe a teenager or in early 20's that don't still have job or expeirence or still studying.

CAREER THAT SUITED FOR YOU:

mostly: attorney or lawyer, writer, journalist, professional astrologer, doctor, educator, something related to travel, related to justice

PILE TWO

I think some people who pick this pile is already working, if you have been working for so long then all your efforts will going to recognize sooner and possibly have awards/recognition or even promition. you are someone who is a skilled worker however you may work with 3 or more people in future and i see that in that group may be you are the leader or the boss. you are someone who have strong ambition in life and not in rush to get in finish line. If you are someone who will go on college, don't attend in long distance learning or home learning since education in school can improve your surroundings like having more self-esteem. However don't study the course you are not interested with just for the sake of others, may be your parents wants you to be come a doctor you will get that, no, doesn't mean they are in the field of medical, or accountancy or, farming etc. does it mean you will follow them and will be suited for you, follow what is your most interested or desire job but if you really want what others want for you then proceed to it. I'm seeing 22 yrs and below but can be older as well, you are someone who can be talkative and bright person. when you finish or not you have scholarships that's why your educated person, you could be someone who is quick in thinking or having new ideas in few minutes but i'm also feel that your always nervous at the times like performing or presenting in front of other people.(you could be a libra sun or rising). you also someone hated sports and some here your parents forced you to be in sport when you are young. yuh, mostly who choose this pile are just teenager who always on their phones or gadgets and still student. you could also love anime/hello kitty and went obsess/crazy for it over a month. you could be also artistic and intuitive, (astrologer or intuitive tarot reader), you are someone who is sensitive and cry easily and may have alot of crushes.

CAREER THAT SUITED FOR YOU:

mostly: architect, engineer, web desinger, blogger/journalist, management and finance, artist, fashion designer, loan officer, agent, flight attendant/pilot, something related to travel(air), computer programmer, poet

PILE THREE

you are someone who seeks for prosperity and joy from material world or away from material world, it seems you just recently abandon or will abandon something in your life, and your reason is because "there is something better out there" and you want to get it. you changed your priorities and many people said it to you, you grown up and become mature to the point that your family and/or friends hardly to recognise you anymore. you may also became an introverted individual(not all) and can be very private person, and will only do what is right for you rather than what is right for the others, you may also insecure about your own abilities or may feel alone if working or your lacking in communication and you may have anger issues. a very conservative person and not following trends like tiktok?fashion trends?idk, and you like to buy things/goods that is good quality but the prize doesn't matter as long you can use it for a very long time. people see you as quiet and reserved but doesn't mean aloof. Ohh, you are someone who is kind, helpful and also trustworthy, you may also appear someone who is rich or people think you are like that and you have bigger plans for your own future. I'm also sensing you don't want to work with other and want to be a boss and prefer to work for yourself, you also believe that before achieving success you need to start in small things to be bigger, mostly who pick this pile would likely to be a bussiness person in the future.

CAREER THAT SUITED FOR YOU:

mostly: bussiness person, professor, real state agent, military(not officer), related to nature, something related to travel, writer, architect, loan officer or mortgage broker

source:@goddess-artemis

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Sailom and the equal footing in Kang’s vulnerability

In a second installment of having a lot of feelings about Sailom, I want to talk about how Kang’s willingness to be vulnerable with him puts Sailom in a position where he feels he has something meaningful to offer in their burgeoning relationship.

Sailom is a very transactional person - (see his refusal to take Kang's grandmother's money if he doesn't tutor Kang). You can see this back to episode one — Auto and his mom know they can get him to agree to extra food by empathizing that he does something for Auto in return (also tutoring).

We’ve also seen that he’s not willing to be made to be made to feel lesser because of his circumstances. He works multiple part time jobs, carefully keeping a budget, always focused on the future. Whenever Kang tried to bully him, Sailom looked him dead in the eye as if daring him to do worse and then found a way to one up him. He refused to lie solely to keep his scholarship.

But the two of them were poised to enter their friendship / eventual romantic relationship on wildly unequal footing. The events of episode two forced Sailom into the role of the victim. The attack of those men left him helpless, cowering on the ground and ended in him crying in Kang’s arms.

And that was before he started to appreciate exactly how well off Kang is — he’s now seen how big Kang’s house is, how comfortably he can spend thousands of baht on food, the kinds of gifts Kang gets for his birthday. On paper, Kang has it all: he’s wealthy, good looking, popular, and lives with family who look after him.

But episode 3 flips their dynamic in a really important way.

First, Sailom starts genuinely helping Kang by tutoring him. He witnesses first hand the difference his teachings can make. However this is still a business transaction — this is something he receives money for.

Then, at the night market, Kang starts to opens up to him emotionally. He bares something about himself that it’s clear he’s never expressed out loud before. He put himself in a position where HE’S the one who is vulnerable. At this point, Sailom is no longer the only one who’s shown a weak spot.

Only thanks to Kang’s earlier confession does Sailom understand exactly how gutting this gift of a motorcycle is for Kang. He’s suddenly able to see past the fancy presents and veneer of a loving family — two things that might have further divided them. And this touches me so much — he emphasizes deeply. Sailom is not saying “oh, poor rich boy who doesn’t have real problems”. He looks genuinely heartbroken for Kang.

This all culminates in the pool scene, where (from Sailom’s perspective) they become true equals.

They wrestle, and Sailom wins by stopping Kang from throwing the key. However cliche pool scenes are in BL, the symbolism of water is powerful — they both get completely soaked, showing that this is the point where the events of the past are wiped clean. This is when they truly start over.

When Kang finally lets the full, raw force of his grief show through, Sailom realizes he has something important he can provide that has nothing to do with money or status — his belief in Kang. Because he does believe in Kang -- Kang has already surprised him four times that we've seen: coming to tutoring to begin with, solving the math equation, in his written english, and at the bar.

It is Sailom’s idea for Kang to look to him as a source of inspiration. And he’s instantly validated. After, Kang looks at him like he’s this most important person in the entire world.

Sailom’s transactional personality really shows here because he confirms this new understanding — he asks Kang a second time.

Not until Kang agrees - via the most pathetic sad wet boy nod I’ve ever seen on my TV - does Sailom hug him, sealing their deal.

We’ve talked a lot as a fandom about Kang’s side of this — how important it is for him to finally have someone give him a purpose and take him off the dark path he was headed down. I’ve even seen some talk of how that’s manipulative; or how Kang is taking advantage of Sailom.

But Sailom is never willingly the passive victim. He recognized he had something tangible to give Kang; something that has nothing to do with money, and he asked for Kang to take it. Because in his mind, it allows him to spend time with Kang on on equal footing. And since Sailom is enjoying their time together — that's what he wants.

[absolutebl]

BL Coming in March 2023 

The month of Thailand busting up established pairs, apparently. 

03/01

The Promise, (Thai WeTV) 10 eps - friends-to-lovers, follow up to a previously aired miniseries Phupha | Nanfah. Because of this and the WeTV platform I likely won’t bother.  

03/02

All the Liquors prev. Liquor (Korea Gaga & Viki) 8 eps - Liquor company rep and party boy Han Ji Yu buts heads (and other stuff? eh, it’s Korea, probably not) with hot chef Park Ki Hoon, who doesn't drink.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea unknown prob Viki and/or Gaga) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education? Based on a webtoon. Heesu’s world revolves around Chanyoung, his best friend and secret crush. He doesn’t mind cheering Chanyoung from the sidelines or listening to all his girl problems. He doesn’t care if people only know him as “Chanyoung’s friend.” Then one day, Heesu starts hearing his name everywhere. On the bus, in the halls, during lunch… Turns out, there’s a rumor going around school (Got a love problem? Find Heesu in Class 2 and he’ll tell you what to do!) and with that, Heesu suddenly finds himself the center of attention. But how could he give anyone advice? He doesn’t even know what to do about his own crush! 

I want this one to happen SO Bad but am very nervous about all the delays and connected sandals and lack of distribution so late in the game. It started filming in December and seems more of an ensemble cast with lots of mixed in het romance. So... ??? 

03/03

A Boss and a Babe (Thai YouTube) 12 eps - ForceBook in an office boss/employee. Chay is a sunshine gamer who wants to get big in the e-sports industry. However, his plans are dramatically altered when is made to intern at a company. There his boss Gun has him do some pretty weird errands, confusing Chay about his true intentions. What do Gun’s actions mean? And will Chay return back to his gaming life?

I’m optimistic, I want ForceBook to get another chance and I like a cheesy office romance. 

03/04 (maybe March 9 international)

Love Syndrome (Thai unknown prob iQIYI or Gaga) 10 eps - trailer, based on a Y-novel, has side characters from Unforgotten Night but no crossover actors or other apparent connections. Day & It have been together for 2 years (looks like a violent off again on again thing). An accident leaves Day seriously injured and It blames himself then Day wakes up with amnesia. (Stars Frank formerly of FrankDrake.) 

03/08

Pastsenger AKA Past-senger (Thai Gaga) 12 eps- Stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Cooper (My Engineer) who were both formerly paired with others, in a time travel paranormal that smacks of HIStory 5. Sunshine 90s kid travels to 2022, goes to university, encounters grumpy nerd. 

03/09 

Our Dating Sim (Korea unknown prob Viki) - What happens when two men, friends since schoo, meet again at work to create a dating simulation game together. 

03/12 (maybe March 19 international)

Future the series (Thai YouTube & Gaga?) 5 eps - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love - yeah I didn’t know that was based on a novel, either). About, you guessed it, an engineering student and a dentist. Maybe this will be the FOTS we were all hoping for? Fuse (the engineering student) is played by Boom from the En of Love and is kinda the same character (Field). I think we can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. 

03/14

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Viki & Gaga) 7 eps - Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha this is high school set and appears to feature a teasing confident gay and a rich/poor pairing, with themes of hurt/comfort and homophobia/gossip. One boy starts a dating rumor with another, putting the later’s archery scholarship in jeopardy. Stars idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from Kpop group OMEGA X. 

THIS IS ONE OF MY MOST ANTICIPATED BLS OF 2023!!! I still can’t quite believe it will actually happen. 

03/17

Unintentional Love Story (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps? - Ceramic artist Yoon Tae Joon has withdrawn from society, but Ji Won Young (an employee at a large company) tracks him down. Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the company chairman's favorite artist. Stars actor Cha Seo Wo and idol Gongchan (maknae of B1A4). 

Individual Circumstances mark 2? No thank you. But if I must, I must. 

03/22 

Make a Wish (Thai Viu) - trailer, stars Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a light-hearted medical-fantasy romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish. He is shocked to find the doctor can actually see him and decides to help him find the reason for his ghostly ability. Thus begins a chaotic yet romantic journey. From a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). 

I’ll watch it if I can get hold of it. We’ve seen Fluke iwth other pairing before, and I like Sammon’s stuff. 

(source)

This is not an exhaustive list. Not responsible for updates that come after date of post. Read the comments for more info and changes. 

[chalkrevelations]

ok, wow, Dangerous Romance. WOW.

Looking at the preview for next week, dare I hope that someone has heard my mutterings about has realized how badly Bad Buddy dealt with bullying and its fallout and is actually going to do some of the cleanup and reconciliation work that BB almost completely leapfrogged over?

Hold on, I might need to sit down.

Because, listen. I love BB as much as anyone, it was probably my real gateway into Thai bl, but it's always bugged me how much that show and this writing team - the same team responsible for Dangerous Romance - allowed the execrable behavior by Pat and the Engineering Backup Hobbits to disappear down the memory hole once the romance storyline kicked into gear, and how much the show was allowed to get away with that, to the point that Wai's concern over Pat's apparently - from the outside - sudden obsessive interest in Pran was seen as intrusive and inappropriate and the rest of the Architecture Backup Hobbits were seen as trash friends for being unhappy to suddenly learn that Pran was dating someone who was responsible for repeated physical assaults on them, rather than Pran's consorting with Pat being seen - at. all. - as the friendship betrayal that it was.

Y'all. I saw someone recently making the argument that Pat was better than Kanghan because sweetheart Pat would never really punch down, and I was like, "I don't think I can even deal with this right now" and just kept scrolling. Because I've posted before about how Pat and the rest of Engineering essentially are Kanghan and Nawa and Third Backup Hobbit, what is this J's character's name that I can't remember right now, gdi? Pat and the Engineering Backup Hobbits are manifestly responsible for starting 95% of the physical altercations that we see in BB, and the other 5%, the bus stop altercation - although we know Wai was pissed about the video uploaded to the Internet, I don't remember that we're ever actually told who threw the first punch. Pat's reputation at the school - ALREADY, and how long has he even been there? - is that he's the guy who makes life miserable for Architecture students. Pat is responsible for siccing the other three on Wai in the first place, including an attempt at aggravated assault that they end up accidentally committing on Pran instead, and wanting to get humiliating video of Wai to upload to the Internet, just as Kanghan attempts to do to Sailom in DR. Pat sits back in the booth at the bar, fuming over a rebuff from Pran and lording it over Wai's humiliation - at his job - which is presented by Korn as a night's "entertainment" for Pat, in much the same way Kanghan sits on his trash-panda throne in an unused room of the school and lords it over his schoolmate subjects while Nawa and Third Backup Hobbit lock Guy in a closet and work over Auto, as well as attempting to get Sailom fired from one job and poisoning his ability to do another job.

And it's extremely subtexutally suggestive that Pat is, in fact, punching down when he goes after Wai, who's a scholarship student and, while not the only character we see working at a job, isn't working at a family business as Pa and Pran do. We learn that he needs to be able to balance his extracurriculars and his studies because he needs to keep his scholarship, and all of that is suggestive that he's not as well-off as the rest of the students, and that he can't retaliate or protect himself in any meaningful way when he's harassed on the job because he likely needs the job in the first place because he needs the money for things his scholarship doesn't pay for. If Pat and the rest of Engineering get him fired with their stunt at his workplace, he could potentially not be able to afford school, which could change the entire path of his life. So yeah, Pat punches down, along with Korn and Chang and Mo, just like Kanghan does, along with Nawa and Third Backup Hobbit, gdi, hold on ... Max, that's his name. Just because Architecture in BB generally do a better job of physically hitting back than Sailom's crew doesn't mean that Engineering aren't just as much bullies as Kanghan and his lackeys.

And I'm pretty excited to see that Sailom is going to attempt to make Kaghan not just behave about it but do some work to make reparations and build better relationships. This is why I'm always a little baffled at people who cite the pacing as why they're giving up on the show - we've gotten plenty of hints that none of the real issues are solved yet. That possessiveness that has Kanghan pulling Sailom away from everyone else by the wrist is going to come back and be an issue. The fact that Sailom basically indentured himself to Kanghan's family to pay off his own family's debt - that has the potential to come back and be an issue. No, everything's not solved yet - we're only halfway through.

[theyaoishelf]

The Yaoi Shelf- June Schedule

Happy Pride! We're so excited to be back in studio! Here is our schedule for June!

This month we welcome the esteemed Dr. James Welker to the show to discuss BL scholarship!

[rifki16]

Love is Better the Second Time Around Episode 5

Photo Credit : Love is Better the Second Time Around Promotional Twitter Account | https://x.com/koi_nido/status/1775007525647372784?s=46

Love is Better the Second Time Around Episode 5

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia and Disownment. I’m not going that deep into the topics which include homophobic and depictions of being disowned, however, I’m just trying to be cautious.

Love is Better the Second Time Around Episode 5 is OUT! Let’s get into the short review right away. SPOILERS DUH.

As expected, of course, the couple broke up even though Haru just admitted that he liked Takashi – as well as agreeing to “go out” with him. I want to talk about four topics from this episode.

First theme: Disownment in Japan

I mean, as it turns out, being disowned in Japan is not only caused by homophobia. I think this has been depicted many times in several Japanese TV medias which I have encountered – I think, in general, not achieving the family’s expectations of you will make you really isolated from the family. However, HUGE DISCLAIMER, this subtopic is not going to talk about whether it is more likely to be disowned in Japan compared to other countries nor is it going to delve into the psyche of Japanese families, as well as their internal dynamics, and why they choose to disown instead of choosing other methods in showing their dissatisfaction or repulsiveness towards their kin. This subtopic will focus exclusively on being disowned in Japan by your family because you have been outed as a cis-gay man through the lens of two Japanese BL works: Love is Better the Second Time Around episode 5, Tokyo in April is… episode… I guess the whole series.

To clarify, I’m talking about the act of disownment of a child or an adult by their family, so it’s not about a baby, newly born or not, being abandoned by their mother because of a myriad of reasons. It’s quite hard for me to find a credible source on the internet about the practice of disownment in Japan, be it the reasons, or mechanism. I found this article about how, in the classical times of Japan, disownment is a form of remedy due to your crimes against your “ancestors” (https://www.japanesewiki.com/history/Fukyo.html).

I also found anecdotes that many Japanese families would disown their offspring because they marry “Internationally”- as the film Life: Love on the Line puts it. The anecdotes are very old, it’s from 2007 (https://ask.metafilter.com/83832/How-does-disownership-of-a-child-work-in-Japan

).

Setting all of those aside, let us dig deep as to what happened in the two series. In Love is Better the Second Time Around, Takashi was outed by, who turned out to be, a distant relative of his. The rumor got spread around. He got disowned. He needed to change his surname from Hoshizawa to Iwanaga. I don’t know how he got his PhD in economics, I assume in Japan, only PhD graduates can be a lecturer. Maybe his new adopted family paid for the tuition fee until his doctorate degree, or maybe he got scholarship all the way up to his PhD studies.

In Tokyo in April is…, Ren was saved by Kazuma from being groomed sexually, not the over-the-internet-incredibly-flirtatious-chat grooming. He was forced to be outed in the hospital to describe what He and Kazuma were doing in the love hotel. Kazuma’s mum slapped and told Ren never to meet Kazuma again. Ren was forced to go to a HS in France, not allowed to inherit the hospital of his grandfather. In the manga, his dad was forced to resign from the hospital, in the live-action series, it was not mentioned about his dad’s status after the rumor of his son’s gay sex act was spread around. He needed to change his surname. He finished his HS and his degree, I think, in France. Then he went back to Japan with his new identity and all.

Now, before going to the analysis. Two things that I have observed to stand out very clearly: 1. The disowned son is still given a future, 2. The disowned son needs to change their surname as he is no longer a member of the family. I still don’t know how Takashi got his degrees, financially, but he still could get those degrees and become a respected economics lecturer. In Tokyo in April is…’s finale, Ren said to his sexual-assault-covering boss that he was grateful to him because he “could repay his family’s tuition” because of the job, which means that his disowning family still paid his tuition in France, just as a loan tho.

It's very unique for me to see this representation, because in many western medias, the disowned son becomes unhoused, a fear which still terrifies me today, and his future really becomes uncertain. In terms of name, I don’t really recall disowned gay men in any western media works to have changed their surname or name completely. I understand that many trans- or non-binary individuals or gender fluid people to have done this, be that they get disowned or not. Let me say before we get deeper into my two cents of this subtopic. I’m not saying that disowned gay sons in Japan have it “easier” compared to other disowned gay sons around the world just because that they are not immediately unhoused in these two BL works. I don’t know the statistics, and I really don’t think we should compare our sufferings amongst us gay men.

A). However, does Japan’s own attitude to the idea of a “state” contribute to these representations? I mean, in western media works, the disowned gay son is completely cut-off because said son is not a member of the family and thus not merited the PRIVATE wealth and comfort of the family. Western idea of ownership, state, and cold-war era propaganda of the “nuclear family” really contribute as to why the representation of disowned gay sons in their media become understandable. But in Japanese, it’s very new for me. Or is it a mere fear of criminal prosecution if the family doesn’t provide means for the future of the disowned gay son? I don’t know.

B). Your family name holds a special place in Japan. I know that it also carries a huge weight in many parts of the world, even here in Indonesia - where most plebian families don’t have a surname - your surname holds such an importance too. In most western media works which I have consumed, the disowned gay son, doesn’t really change his name. He just gets own with his own life, as his surname is the last of his concern. I think this connects well with the first observation I made – in most western media works, the disowned gay son is too focused on surviving, that he doesn’t give a fig about what he is called. If we see it in practical terms, let’s say a disowned gay son is moving from somewhere in the deep south of the states, and he moves to somewhere in New York, new England or somewhere in the west coast, his new start will not really check his name on some federal database, his new semi-blue-collar employer will not check his family background. Unless that he has a criminal record, he is free to use his old name or a new one, his family will not be disadvantaged at all because neither his new life nor his family is connected.

Take these observations with huge grains of salt, as I did not revisit many western media works as a reference, and I have not, and did not, included all Japanese BL works which have this trope, such as Umibe no étranger. I completely forgot as to what happened to the disowned gay son, in that anime film, before coming back to his hometown.

Second theme: Foreigners and Japanese

The second theme I’d like to talk about is Japanese relationship with foreigners. The relationship in a sense of how Japanese see foreigners against/for their patrimony. I will not write a lot about this subtopic because it touches complex topics like Japanese nationalism and the Japanese idea of race – topics which I don’t know much about. To talk about this subtopic, I want to discuss two works, Love is Better the Second Time Around episode 5 and Life: Love on the Line (director’s cut film).

Let’s revisit the chatroom/blog discussion website from 2007 (https://ask.metafilter.com/83832/How-does-disownership-of-a-child-work-in-Japan

). One of the posters said that when, I presumed his personal pronouns are he/hem/his, his Japanese wife married her non-Japanese husband, she got disowned. But then, when her sister got divorced, she was “seen better than her sister”. Setting aside the perception of divorced or spinsterish people, isn’t it crazy that based on that one anecdote, his wife’s family disowned their own daughter just because she married a non-Japanese person. Again, I don’t know the statistics hence I don’t know the prevalence of this behavior. I don’t even know whether the poster of the story on the website was telling the truth or not, however this anecdote is a great jumping point in understanding what happened in the two works I want to present.

In Life: Love on the Line, Ito, the bitch who actually kissed Nishi first, asked to break up with Nishi because he wanted to have “a normal family”. Hold up, I need to vent about Ito, WHAT A BITCH, you really don’t appreciate what you got bro. JESUS, I really cannot contain my anger to Ito. Venting side note over. Ito eventually got a divorce with his wife because he still loves Nishi. And, when he went back to his family’s house to announce his divorce, it turns out his sister is marrying a south Asian person, I forgot whether it was Indian or any other ethnicity. His mother became mad and pointed to his sister that she needed to be more like Ito because he has a normal life and family. His mum’s statement prompted him to stand up and said that he’s getting a divorce, and he has been in love with Nishi all this time and adding “compared to International love, it’s pretty normal right?”, or something to that effect.

In Love is Better the Second Time Around, we don’t really see the family dynamics as to why Takashi is called back to his family, besides the fact that because his sister is marrying a non-Japanese person, he needs to be the one that bears the responsibility of continuing his family’s business. I have not read the manga so I don’t know how Takashi family views their daughter’s “international marriage” compared to their estranged son.

Side note, it seems that Takashi is going to decline the offer to continue the family business because he’s gay… huh? I mean in Restart After Come back Home, Mitsuomi still can continue the family business even though that he’s gay. Well, he has not come out yet. Side note to the power of two, Isn’t it weird that a salaryman can just continue his father’s, long established, carpenter business? Like huh?

I really need to understand more about Japanese view on foreigners marrying their own. I mean, it’s a pretty extreme stance to say that, even a heterosexual, “international marriage” is considered a strange, or deviation from a normal one. Is it just because of the practical matter that the non-Japanese person cannot continue the family business? Is it because that the non-Japanese person hard to assimilate to the Japanese culture?

Side note again, does this mean that BL works with protagonists that used to live in the west like Tokyo in April is… and Senpai, This can’t be Love, to name two, also have “full” Japanese parents, just that they used to live abroad…?

Third theme: Haru mental leap

I think Haru in episode 4 and 5 are very different, “bigly”. We just saw Haru getting comfortable in episode 4 of getting in bed and accepting Takashi as his lover – boyfriend. I think in this episode, Haru became braver in his mannerism as well as drawing the line with Takashi. Yes, I will be having sex with you as lovers, yes, I will be calling you my lover, even in front of my own enemy, but I will not be moving into your place, yet. I think because we have seen how Takashi disappointed, or as it turns out, was smeared to look like he disappointed Haru, Haru’s walls were already up, so it’s not easy I guess for him to draw lines.

Someone on Twitter actually translated the conversation Haru and Takashi on LINE. In the chat, Takashi actually congratulated Haru on being the Deputy Editor, and Haru’s response was just like “okay”. Like wtf. This is another trope that I don’t like in Japanese BL works. I think the biggest offender of this trope is Minato’s Laundromat. It’s the trope of “Oh yes we’re now boyfriends, but I’m gonna act too cool to care about it”. Like what…? I mean Hiro’s mannerisms on digital products, E-Mail and social media are so different with his real-life behaviors, to the people that he knows. Why does he still use his journalist face even with Kyosuke?

Fourth theme: Blackmail – Japan’s most loved trope?

Before talking about this subtopic, let me first take my celebratory dance. I’M SO RELIEVED THAT MY BRAIN ITCH IS NOT WRONG OMG. Haru didn’t overhear some sob in the hall that Takashi bet against him. It was, presumably, Kyosuke that took a picture of a young, I think, Haru, and wrote in the email that Takashi was betting against his appearance in the train station.

What is it with BL and blackmail trope? I mean I know that it’s not uncommon for closeted gay guys to be threatened by blackmail about his sexual orientation, but I already see this plot line used in Help I’m Being Harassed by the Sexiest Man of the Year and The End of the World with You. I think The End of the World with You is such a unique one in using this plot line as the perpetrator of the blackmail is also the one who did the gay sex act with the blackmail victim lol.

Side note: I guess in the finale, Haru is bringing up the fact that Takashi is carrying all the burden by himself – gosh this trope again, I’ve seen it in Tokyo in April is…, let’s see how they execute it next week.

linguistic corner!!!!

I can’t believe how many times “aishiteru” was said in this episode. It seems like the show runners saw my blog post about the Japanese disinclination in using the word “aishiteru” and prefer to use the word “sukida”, made script changes and reshot a lot of scenes – I know it’s the conspiracy and narcissism talking in my head haha. I am genuinely surprised as to how many “aishiteru” was said in the episode, is it because that Takashi loves Hiro that much that he said that? I mean in this episode Takashi actually said it not while they were having sex.

I think this may be true as it is actually a point of rift between the two. I think it was since episode 3? That Hiro has always mentioned that their love intensity is different, is it that he feels that Takashi doesn’t love him enough? That’s why he was sort of lingering with the idea that Takashi still sees him as “an outsider”. Side note: while I’m writing this subtopic, I Love by Official Higedandism is playing HAHAH. The way that Takashi kept secret some of his familial stuff, read the previous subtopic about “carrying the burden all by himself”, I think, made Hiro easier to ask for a break, or rather that he was asking for a break up, but got a break.

Side note: this is the first time that I see when gays break up in a Japanese BL work that his place becomes a mess like in western media works, I mean all I see in other works is the guy failed a class (The End of the World with You), the guy continues his life but still missing his ex (Life: Love on the Line, Although I Love You, and You?, Mr Sahara and Toki-Kun, My Beautiful Man, Pornographer).

All in all, I can’t wait, albeit dread, for the finale next week !

[slayerkitty]

On Hidden Agenda And if the Agenda is Really Hidden

Otherwise known as @respectthepetty and I watched episode 11, looked at each other, scratched our heads and pulled the clown car over to the side of the road. Episode 11 was not the traditional "BL Episode of Doom" it usually is in most BLs. Some BLs do purposefully subvert this trope or move the episode of doom to episode 10 instead.

It didn't feel like that was what happened here. So we hopped out of the clown car, whipped out our phones to check our maps and directions, because we were very, very confused. We were so sure we had the show figured out! And...no?

So we decided to backtrack; turn the clown car around and start the trip again from the start. To take this week and re-watch Hidden Agenda from the beginning and figure out what the hell we missed.

We also took a detour into source material territory (aka looked up a summary about the book) which was no help to the current situation, because @respectthepetty discovered that JengPok, Nita's stalker, Puen, and Wave x Trin weren't even in it! The only thing we were able to confirm with it is that it's from Joke's POV, he's unhinged in it, and Zo spends most of it dating Nita.

With all this in mind, I sat down with episode 1 of Hidden Agenda in hopes that I would discover anything that we might have missed. I also have slowly cultivated two theories that as of episode 6 still hold up though I don't know how much weight I want to give the second one (but I also can't let it go).

Before I delve into the theories, I do want to point out a couple things that I have noticed.

Zo is super intense about debate club, NOVA, and the Finland scholarship from episode 1. His coaching of Joke in episode 2 rivals his mother's coaching of him in episode 10. If someone who makes gifs could make a gif set that parallels those two scenes, I would be eternally grateful; it will blow your mind. Zo's issues with disappointing his mom are also there from episode one, but they are super subtle. He doesn't want Kot to tag him in his IG story because his mom might see him at the bar drinking. He mentions in I think either episode 2 or 3 that his mom hasn't visited in a while because she's been busy and the way he says it is so... ugh, he needs a hug.

Zo's trauma from Puen's horrible treatment of him is also evident from episode 1 as well; he is constantly saying that he doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, that he's worried he's upsetting people, etc. It's constant. Seriously, someone hug Zo.

Theory 1: Joke did something bad/something bad happened to someone he cared about (probably in high school and appears to have gotten therapy about it based on how he speaks)

Episode 1:

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, while Joke is scolding(?) Zo, he says, "What you said on that stage won't change a broken system."

Episode 2:

Joke tells Zo, "My tongue gets me in trouble."

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Episode 3:

Joke says "Before you get to know someone, you need to know yourself."

Joke also asks/tells Zo to trust him for the first time.

Joke talks about the Triangular Theory of Love: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment

Joke is pretty worried when Zo crashes his bike and makes Zo ride with him instead.

Joke mentions that he used to go to the restaurant Zo picked out with his dad, back when they used to go out to eat; this suggests a distance between him and his dad.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip as if he's afraid if Zo leaves without him, something bad will happen.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

Joke is afraid of the glass bridge but he's also to worried to let Zo go out on the bridge by himself.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Kot doesn't seem to like Joke and extremely overreacts to the way Joke trying to get Zo to eat the food he bought. Now, Joke was maybe a little pushy, but Kot goes off the handle.

When cuddling in bed, Joke says "hugging for 30s releases Oxytocin" and if they hug longer, "it means we feel the same."

Theory 2: Joke is a stalker

Yeah, you read that right. There is ample evidence throughout the first 6 episodes that on first watch, didn't quite ring alarm bells, but on re-watch, are setting off sirens. I kinda had this as a crack theory in the back of my head after episode 8 first aired, but now it's staring me in the face and feels a lot less crack-y

Episode 1:

Joke eavesdrops on Zo recording his podcast

Joke is super intense when speaking to Zo at the studio and manhandles him a little so that Joke can sort of pin him against the wall.

Joke eavesdrops on Zo and friends on the bus and then approaches him after to give advice on Nita

Joke asks Zo if the iced coffee is for Zo and says it's not because "Zo doesn't like coffee."

Joke always seems to be around when Zo is trying to approach Nita.

Joke confesses that he has a crush before singing a song.

When Zo tries to leave the bathroom after getting sick, Joke actively won't let him, grabbing him roughly and holding him in place.

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, Zo asks Joke why he won't quit if he hates it and Joke says he has his reasons.

At the studio, Joke says "I love you and you love me" in Chinese and proceeds to do what has been touted as an "erotic wedding based tradition" with drinking the Roselle juice.

Episode 2:

Joke starts pushing boundaries with food

Joke and Zo make a deal to help Zo with Nita.

Joke has a fantasy of Zo winning and them kissing.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again

Joke admits to Zo he has a crush on someone.

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Joke ties Zo's shoe

Joke says he's already started helping Zo with Nita, but has he?

Episode 3:

Joke basically milks all the situations with Zo in his favor under the guise of helping Zo with Nita

Joke admits he listens to Zo's podcast because it helps him sleep.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke insists on driving Zo home despite Zo's protests.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip really insistently and hugs Zo excitedly when Zo agrees.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 4:

Joke knows how long it's been since Zo changed his profile pic.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 5:

Joke confronts Zo for trying to avoid him and wanting to forget their kiss. Joke is incredibly aggressive and spills his drink on Zo as a result.

Joke continues to message Zo that Zo is avoiding him and that he's going to come over. Zo says not to. Joke does anyway.

Joke gets himself invited to dinner with Zo and his mom.

Joke makes a move while doing dishes and tells Zo he wants to know how Zo feels.

Joke says "why would you hurt me and tell me to forget?" and "you never care about my feelings."

Joke also says "don't run away from me," and "don't avoid me."

Joke confesses through tongue twister.

Joke remembers that Zo hates stink beans.

Joke tells Zo "I would do anything for you," and "I like you Zo, I want to show you that you like me, too."

Asks Zo to let Joke pursue him.

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again and then fights with Kot.

Zo tells Joke he needs to respect boundaries.

Joke oversteps boundaries again in at debate club.

Joke pushes Zo again for an answer on his feelings; Joke says he "will always wait" for Zo.

Joke also insists that Zo was into him all along and not Nita.

Joke watches Zo at the debate open house and gets jealous.

Joke wants Zo to stay over; he pushes Zo again for an answer to his feelings. When Zo wants to go shower, Joke grabs his arm and stop him, saying that he won't let Zo run away.

Joke gives Zo the arcade t-shirt and when Zo says he doesn't know the significance, Joke tells Zo to take it off. Joke then takes his own shirt off and refuses to put it back on.

Joke asks to hold Zo and Zo doesn't answer, just rolls over onto his side away from Joke. Joke says "silence means yes" (and in this case it did but OH MY GOD) and proceeds to cuddle Zo.

As I go through my re-watch, I'll add more to both theories but as of episode 6, they both hold up. I can't decide of Joke himself actually did (insert bad thing here) to someone, or just knew someone that (insert bad thing here) happened to. Joke being a stalker wasn't that evident at first, but it is now! At a minimum, Joke is obsessive, posessive and overly clingy.

Also, these theories can both be true! They don't contradict each other in any way. Stay tuned for Part 2, probably... Friday or Saturday.

[shannankle]

Shadow the Series and Hamlet

Okay so after finishing the first half of Shadow there’s so much to unpack. So instead of doing the research I should be doing for my dissertation, let’s dig into some connections between literature and BL once again!

This won’t be a fully formed meta, and I’ll probably have to make a whole other post once the whole series is out. But I wanted to start thinking about how the show is dialoguing with and speaking to similar themes as Hamlet within a queer framework.

I thought I’d work my way through some different interpretations of Hamlet and connect back to Shadow. To be clear, I’m working with scholarship on Hamlet rather than any personal interpretation of Hamlet itself (which I unfortunately haven’t read or watched in many a years).

A quick summary

Hamlet and Shadow via Freud's Oedipal Complex

Hamlet and Shadow via Lee Edelman's work on queerness, the death drive, and queer time

Hamlet and Shadow via self-recognition and resistant readings

A few other directions

Hamlet and the Oedipal Complex

Back in 1897, Freud wrote about Hamlet in a letter to a friend noting that “falling in love with the mother and jealousy of the father…[was] a universal event of early childhood.” So Hamlet was one of the texts that Freud was thinking about when he came up with the Oedipal complex as a concept.

You may be asking, as I often do, who gives a fuck what Freud thought? Well over time, Freudian interpretations of the play highly influenced how it was performed and the ways that themes about subjectivity and sexuality were portrayed.

The 1948 and 1990 film adaptations in particular put stress on a sexually charged dynamic between Hamlet and his mother Gertrude. The later film has Hamlet lying on top of and wrestling with his mother before they kiss. More recent adaptations tend to move away from this, but, overall, it’s been extremely influential in terms of how the play has been interpreted and adapted.

So how does this come up in Shadow? 

Dan’s role as Hamlet is closely framed around his relationship with his father who he beats up in the dream world right before his death. We’re introduced to Dan’s dad during his audition for Hamlet. Perhaps in the most obvious parallel, Dan recites Hamlet’s lines as he goes to find his father’s ghost. And of course, this is when Dan’s dad appears as a ghost as well.

Yet, Dan’s narrative with his father seems to buck the expected relationship between father and son. Throughout the play, Hamlet struggles between a desire to fulfill his filial duty and avenge his father and the increasing violence and tragedy this brings. But Dan? In the face of abuse, he chooses to defiantly reject his father and filial piety, accepting and even wishing for his death. In many ways, Dan’s dad is more analogous to Claudius, the usurper and man trying to kill Hamlet. Through his abuse he loses the right to be Dan’s father. 

A shallow oedipal reading of Hamlet, frames Claudius as the father Hamlet is trying to kill, but ignores that this dynamic is born from Claudius’ cruelty. By acknowledging abuse, power, and violence Shadow perhaps takes an interesting step away from a pure Freudian reading. Because ultimately Dan doesn’t want to be his father! In fact, as he speaks with him and beats him up, we can see the way Dan is shaken, not by the act of harming or killing his father, but by the idea of becoming him. His father makes clear that “becoming him” is aligned with ideas about what it means to be a man, to be “the father” within a straight patriarchal society. And in a beautiful moment of clarity and defiance as they discuss what love looks like, Dan clarifies that his mom left his father not him. 

Okay so he "kills" his dad, what about his mom?

To be honest, when I was wrapping up my watch of the episodes, my head went towards the oedipal theory as a crack theory. What if the ghost is his mom, that’d be pretty effed up lol...But now that I’ve seen that the connection isn’t just one I made, it doesn’t seem as far fetched. The scenes between Hamlet and Gertrude in the 1990s film certainly could be an influence on the shadow getting sexual if they went that route. But to be honest I don’t really think they’ll go this way. Or at least I hope not. They’re already doing more nuanced things with the oedipal dynamic. Plus I think there’s more going on if we turn to queerer interpretations anyway.

The Death Drive, Queering Freud, and Queer Time

In Freud’s work, he talked about two opposing forces. The first was the death drive (later termed Thanatos by later psychoanalysts). This was a drive toward destruction that stood opposite to eros or life-producing drives such as sex, survival, and reproduction. 

Now, in 2004, queer theorist Lee Edelman would come in and queer the heck out of these concepts. I’ll be over simplifying Edelman’s points a lot here, but hopefully the core will remain. 

Edelman would point out that the life-drive was often weaponized rhetorically, politically, and socially as a way to reproduce cultural norms. Edelman often writes about "the Child"--that is the mythical idea of a child that we should be building society and the future for. Think of how often the “think of the children” rhetoric gets used in anti-queer politics, for example. In fact, Edelman points to oedipal readings of Hamlet as one way that dominant straight society has attempted to manage a narrative where reproduction and futurity are foreclosed. Oedipal readings of Hamlet, then, could be seen as an attempt to suppress the death drive, to put it out of sight where it can’t cause disruption or anxiety.

Of course, Edelman also notes that the death drive is inherently tied to and projected onto queerness and queer people–onto “those abjected as non-reproductive, anti-social, opposed to viability, and so as threats to the Child who assures and embodies collective survival”. And so, Edelman argues that queer people should embrace the death drive and queer time–that is non-futurity and non-linear, non-productive time. 

So how might these ideas be showing up in Shadow so far?

I might think of even more later, but here’s a short list:

1. All three of our main characters are abjected. Nai is gay, Trin is gay and mentally ill, and Dan is potentially both. I think we could argue that the connection all three of them have to death also quite literally marks them as abjected. And perhaps we could consider how the supernatural elements thematically and symbolically connect to their alterity and the way this is in conflict with social norms. In fact, I’d argue that, unlike Nai and Trin who are explicitly stated to be queer and/or mentally ill, Dan’s alterity is playing out through this more allegorical channel so far. 

2. Literal death as a central focus. 

3. Haunting as a limbo between past and present. This liminality feels very queer here.

4. The idea of vengeful ghosts makes the death drive perpetually present in a way that haunts futurity. Interestingly Edelman describes the death drive as a “negativity that haunts the social order” and which is “projected onto those who occupy the position of the queer.” Haunting has very queer thematic possibilities. 

5. Think of the ghost story told in the market in episode seven. The homophobia on display clearly ties queerness to death in a way that speaks to straight norms and anxieties. 

6. Dan is told by the monk that what is happening has to do with overlapping time frames: past, present, and future

7. Dan often loses his sense of what is real or a dream, but he also has moments where he loses his sense of time and temporality. Notice how when the art statue fell and he saw his classmates dead we jump back to before he even spoke with Nai. It’s not just losing time but jumping back and forth. 

8. Sexy times with a shadow monster are certainly non-(re)productive 

9. We learn that Trin has been trying to change things, disrupt the social norms, but he is shut down and told the school needs to hold onto tradition. While we often think of tradition as referring to the past, it is very much about continuing and reproducing this into the future. School director: "But think of the future Children who won’t get to experience the epic highs and lows of high school hazing”

10. There seems to be a tension at play between Brother Anurak who is trying to get Dan to just stop believing in the shadow (not sure if that's his actual motive but still) and Dan who is slowly starting to embrace the shadow (literally and figuratively). Perhaps this could be read as embracing the death drive and queerness. 

Hamlet, Self-Recognition, and Resistant Reading

Another theme that has often been explored by folks interested in Hamlet is that of self-recognition. The play focuses so very much on Hamlet struggling with his sense of self. And this speaks well to contemporary western ideas of the individual. One scholar, Marjorie Garbor, has noted that “the experience of Hamlet is almost always that of recognition.” While another, John Gouws remarks that Hamlet and Shakespeare’s sonnets both “seem capable of functioning like Rorschach inkblots, by making us reveal (increasingly) more about ourselves the more we try saying something about them.”

It’s interesting to me then that Hamlet and Rorschach tests are both used in Shadow, but they don’t seem to say all that much about Dan. The blot is simply a tool to test if Dan is still seeing the shadow. It isn’t used to psychoanalyze him further. And when Cha-aim asks Dan to compare himself to Hamlet he hilariously just says both their dads are dead. Of course we know that Hamlet’s dad and Dan’s aren’t exactly analogous either. Dan rejects this sort of self-identification. Or perhaps, the play rejects him? At the very least we know that he can’t perform the type of filial love that Hamlet has for his own father.

But perhaps this rejection has queer implications as well. There’s a really lovely article from the perspective of a queer South African director, Thys Heydenrych. He talks about reading and staging Hamlet through a queer and decolonial lens. In his piece he quotes Hanna Kubowitz who discusses queer readers' relationship with texts. She notes that “[b]eing heterosexual has several benefits…One can enter into most cultural narratives…on the basis of simple and satisfying identification.” This of course made me think of the moment when Cha-aim asks Dan to identify with Hamlet.

Whether we read this as an active refusal on Dan’s part or as the play being inhospitable to Dan’s identification, Cha-aim is asking Dan to express and perform identity here. Perhaps this could be read as her asking Dan to narratively self-identify with straight culture and values. It makes sense in the context of her having feelings for him and ties well into the scene where she tries to pick his costume. While Dan isn’t yet identifying as queer, he seems to be dis-identifying from straightness just as he dis-identifies from his father’s version of manhood. 

Still, motifs of self-recognition or the struggle to understand oneself seem to abound. The use of mirrors in episodes 6 and 7 speak to this theme well with the blurring of self and other, while also tying into both horror motifs and the Greek mythology being referenced (Orpheus and Eurydice, narcissus perhaps). Is the shadow a part of him?   

What I’ll be curious to see is how the show chooses to engage with this theme. Will Hamlet continue to serve as a narrative that is inhospitable to identification or will it be queered. There’s a tradition of scholarship that thinks about resistant reading. This is when a reader engages with a text that wasn’t designed with them in mind, but finds potential despite this. Certainly Shakespeare’s work and Hamlet in particular have been interpreted as queer at times, and Hamlet is definitely open to these readings.

When it comes to Shadow, however, I’m interested in what one scholar, Lois Tyson, has asked about resistant reading: “How might the works of heterosexual writers be reread to reveal an unspoken or unconscious lesbian, gay, or queer presence?” This idea of a hidden queer presence speaks well to the idea of haunting. I’m really interested to see how the use of Hamlet as a narrative might speak to the idea of queerness as hidden presence and whether this continues to play out in the second half.  

A few other connections that I want to wait to think on more:

-Madness seems to be a shared theme but I want to see how Shadow handles this as a whole before commenting, but you can check out my post on queer and crip time in The Eighth Sense if you're interested in that element at all

-Power and oppression. Heydenrych’s article mentions a 2010 production that focuses on Denmark’s repressive political system and themes of surveillance, control, and abuse of power. These seem like themes working their way into Shadow but I’d want to be more familiar with the topic in Hamlet

-Suicide. There are versions of Hamlet that heighten this theme further with Gertrude and Ophelia in particular being framed as making attempts. 

-Play within a play and the blurring of fiction and reality

-Decolonial and religious elements

Sources:

Heydenrych, Thys. “‘To tell our Storie’: Reflections on a Queer Adaptation of Hamlet in Twenty-first Century South Africa” Shakespeare in Southern Africa vol 30, 2017. pp. 43-55

Edelman, Lee. “Against Survival: Queerness in a Time That’s Out of Joint” Shakespeare Quarterly, 62.2, 2011. pp. 148-169.

Edelman, Lee. No Future: Queer Theory and The Death Drive. Duke University Press, 2004.

Note: Most other sources were mentioned in the Heydenrych piece

[hils79]

Hils Watches Kiseki: Dear to Me - Ep 2

Is the bad guy going to make a habit of seductively sucking on lollipops like this? Because if so that is going to be a problem.

Wow has it been 10 days already?

He is threatening this man with spicy food. God, I love him.

Right, I know my two faves are Ai Di and Chen Yi. I really need to learn the names of the actual leads. Fan Zerui made Bai Zongyi a cute smiley lunch!

Why does this rando student in the background have a giant plush dog?

I love that they have gone from blackmail to domesticity in 10 days

Okay, domesticity with bickering

Oh no is Bai Zongyi scared of storms? Are they going to cuddle?? :D

Oh shit the storms are a trigger that remind him of his abusive mother. Oh this poor boy :(

🥺

I mean obviously not

Wow, okay, that took a sudden turn

This man and his ego (affectionate)

I love that Fan Zerui is only injured when it suits the plot. That morning he winced after just tugging a blanket up over Bao Zongyi's shoulders and now he's putting weight on both his arms like it's no big deal

That looks like a really uncomfortable way to comfort someone through a nightmare but I appreciate the attempt

We all know what inevitably happens when there's only one bed. Love to see it!

This is why I have to alternate watching BL dramas and watching other things. Because if I only watched boys sharing a bed and gazing softly at each other when they wake up I would die of cuteness overload very quickly.

Wow okay that escalated quickly

And that ALSO escalated quickly. I can't work out if he's angry that Fan Zerui kissed him without his consent, or if there's some internalised homophobia going on. Oh shit did his mother abuse him for being gay?

Wow he's going to lose his scholarship because he was late to school one time? That seems harsh.

"If someone pissed you off what could they do to get you to forgive them?" "Bold of you to assume I wouldn't kill anyone who pissed me off." Ai Di is the personification of the kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day meme. I love him.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I have so many feelings about Gravitation, because like. Is it good? Not really. No.

But. It feels very historically important. It was basically synonymous with BL in the west for several years there, and it was the gateway to BL for a lot of people around my age group (myself included).

It's very much a product of its time and era, but for that time and era, it was genuinely one of the better products in its genre. And that was critically important, because we were starving queer puppies for scraps, especially otaku. And Gravitation was really the best of what we had.

This feels so difficult to explain to people who joined into the BL fandom or otaku community later. Like. This was what we had. There was not a lot, or a very much good, BL at the time. There just wasn't. People who were introduced to queer anime by like Yuri!!! On ICE: Oh my God are you so much luckier than I was.

And it actually holds up a lot better than many of its contemporaries. Somehow. You will watch it and be horrified by that, but it's actually true.

And living in that specific slot of, "It's not good, but you don't understand," is hard.

So it was important. And I have a soft spot for it and always will. It was important to me and really changed a lot of my life.

That said. Do we need it, today, in the current marketplace? I don't think we do. It feels like something that should be relegated to scholarship. I can't in good faith tell people to watch it for enjoyment unless you already enjoy it. It's important, but that doesn't make it good.

But get the soundtracks, though, because those are still unironically bangers. Like damn.