#black lives are more important than a fucking song you cunts

[alreadyblondenow]

My best friend, my p*rn 

▸Johnny x camgirl!reader (cam girl au, best friends to lovers) ▸ 2,103k words ▸ Fluff, Smut ▸ Cam girl reader, prostitution, online bidding, heavy making out, lots of kissing, lots of touching, fingering, mentions of oral sex male receiving, oral sex female receiving, mentions of sex  ▸ Requested, see anon message at the end of this drabble. 

Being a cam girl is something you’re not proud of but it pays the bills and puts food on the table. Bringing pleasure to other people is not the best idea but you kinda like what you do and it’s like living a double life where in reality you’re this simple college student but when you’re live or on-air, you’re very popular that girls and boys beg for you.

Of course, the only person you trust knowing your double life is your best friend Johnny, whom you don’t is madly and deeply in love with you ever since the two of you became close friends. When you told him that you’re a cam girl, Johnny supported you all the way and became a regular to the point that he has become your anonymous generous tipper.

“User chicag0127 is being generous again- wow. I’m speechless. Thank you”

Tonight is kind of a special broadcast because you hit 100k followers and you have a surprise for everyone. “To celebrate our first milestone, I’m gonna hold an auction online, the highest bidder will be featured two times during my live stream this month....”

Upon hearing what you’re saying right now, Johnny cannot believe what has gotten into your head. Then he remembered, you were three semesters late on your tuition and the school might not let you graduate. “Fuck- you could end up with a creep! Fuck- Savings savings” he was quick to check his savings and easily closed the deal with you. He was sweating the entire time, scared that maybe the next higher bidder next to him might win you, but Johnny was successful.

“Sorry folks, but as expected, user chicag0127 is the higher bidder. I guess you will see us on my next live then!...”

After your live stream, you are more than thankful for chicag0127. The money went straight to your college tuition and now you can relax and not worry about the school holding you up for graduation. That night, you told Johnny what happened through text and waited for his reply before you go to bed.

You: were graduating together! That user that I was telling you, just covered my whole tuition.

The smile on Johnny’s face and the happiness that he felt was priceless, knowing that he could help his true love.

Johnny: Why didn’t you come to me in the first place? You know that I have money saved from my internship right? And idk where to spend it haha!

He jokes so he won’t sound suspicious.

You: it’s your money Johnny, you earned that because you worked hard during your internship.

And that night, you slept like a baby knowing that all is well.

One week later

You were sitting on the edge of the bed wearing only your silk robe and nothing else underneath. Any minute now, user chicag0127 will arrive and you're very much excited to meet your anonymous bidder. When the doorbell rang, you opened the door with a flirty smile that’s replaced with a confused expression when you see Johnny in front of you.

He was quiet. He was waiting for you to realize.

Then....

“Y-you’re”

“chicag0127”

“R-right... because you’re from Chicago and you’re Korean... fuck- I mean, come in, welcome. D-do you want coffee?”

Johnny went inside the hotel room quietly and without saying a word. To be honest, he didn’t know what to do too, like you, he’s confused and nervous. But would you rather see a stranger? So he balled up his courage and confronted you.

“You sit on my lap whenever I’m busy playing games on my phone, kiss me good morning whenever we have sleepovers, heck I already saw you naked because you don’t close your room whenever you dress up and you will say it’s completely fine-“ he breathes heavily and combs his black hair with his fingers, “I don’t understand why are you like this all of a sudden. I can leave you, know? But you can't disappoint your fans”

“Right we cant” you don’t know why Johnny feels like he’s a stranger now but you suck it up and remind yourself that Johnny paid for this. “You paid for this” you added while fluffing the pillow.

“Hey. I did not do it because I want to take advantage of you I did it because you could end up with a pervert a drug addict or an abuser” he points his fingers at you and sat on the bed with a heavy sigh.

“You’ve been tipping me for months!” You bite back, “Fine-Okay okay I get it. Uhm... wear this they can only see our lips, bodies, and not our faces” you hand him the silk mask that’s similar to what you’re using.

“This is our first day so kissing and touching only no more, no less,” you said, and upon explaining the instructions to Johnny, he proceeds to strip in front of you. Unbuttoning his dress shirt and looking so hot like he always does. You gulp when he’s only wearing his black pants in front of you, ready to remove his belt and his pants.

“On the second day, oral sex, however you like it. 69, blow job in the shower, anything then that’s it-oh and one more important thing. No talking you can whisper and make sounds but no talking for your safety. People might recognize you”

After explaining what’s needed, you dimmed the lights, closed the curtains, and setup the camera.“The live will automatically stop in thirty minutes”

“So we can kiss and touch for a whole thirty minutes?” He asked.

“Yes”

“I paid all my savings and thirty minutes is all I get?” He murmurs but you didn’t hear it. You pat the space on the bed next to you as you wait for the live to start automatically in five minutes. When he’s right beside you, waiting for your next move the room is cold and silent as he watches you remove your silk robe. He has seen your boobs far too many times, but this time it’s special like he’s seeing it for the first time again. ‘I'm sorry, he mouthed’ thinking maybe this is hard for you because you’re best friends.

‘It's okay,’ you mouth back because you would rather be with Johnny than a creep.

Slowly your faces move closer until your lips touch but not kissing yet. Johnny gave you a peck as if he’s testing the waters, then gave you another but this time it’s longer, and then another but this time his hand cups your face. It was a filthy kiss and you didn’t expect that Johnny is a good kisser. His tongue is sinful in so many ways. The way it swirls around your tongue, whenever he sucks your tongue leaves you breathless, his grip on your face is getting tighter and you feel his cock poking your thigh.

So with all your bravery, you put your hand inside his boxers briefs and palmed his cock while he kisses you. Slowly, he began to start touching you softly, running his fingers on your shoulders to your nipples until you shiver at his touch, making you stop kissing him and bite your lower lip. Johnny is amused and happy because you like what he’s doing to you.

While kneading your boobs, he started kissing you on your neck, licking you like you’re his favorite ice cream, and doing soft moaning sounds. He kissed you all over your body, making you feel loved and protected by him as always.

“Is this fine?” He whispered oh so quiet beside your ear and slowly run his finger on your very wet slit. Johnny’s finger slides up very smoothly because of your juices, he got excited because he can make you wet like this. You nod your head ‘yes’ and spread your legs a little more for Johnny and the viewers and with that, he finger fucked you before he ran out of time. Feeling his thick fingers go inside and outside of your cunt slowly. It feels so fucking good.

“Ten minutes” you whispered and kissed him again. You feel his smile in between kissing while he feels you getting near because you’ve clenching and unclenching around his finger.

The alarm on your live started beeping and the live is automatically cut off.

No one stopped when the live was over. You kept kissing Johnny and Johnny made you cum using his fingers. When you finally calmed down, Johnny kept you close and apologized. Until now he doesn’t know if you’re doing this with him because you’re actually loving it, or you’re doing this because he paid for it.

“Warm bath?” He offered.

You giggle and hugged him back like you used to, “we didn’t have sex you jerk.... but sounds good”

He gets out of bed and effortlessly scoops you from your comfort and brought you to the bathroom. The shower with Johnny turned every awkward situation around because he made you laugh the whole time you two were taking a shower. Singing different songs and thinking of what you should eat for dinner.

The next day, you and Johnny are laying in bed together enjoying the quietness of the hotel room like you guys did not do something filthy last night. Lips on your forehead hands at the back of your head, you hear his steady heartbeat and you’re actually happy that he is the one who did it.

You’re not with user chicag0127, you’re with Johnny. Things might take time but what he’s doing for you is heartwarming and stupid all the same time.

Second day

Johnny had a few ideas for day two. For starters, he really wanted to fuck your mouth and cum inside it. But it doesn’t feel right doing it to you, he loves you way too much for a thousand people see him do that to you. So he decided he’ll just tire you out the whole thirty minutes.

Your legs are perfectly spread and Johnny’s fingers spread your pussy lips as he licks up and down on your slit. It’s been a good twenty minutes already and your legs feel like jelly after cumming two times. When he felt your legs shaking and you’re breathing heavily, he stopped and kissed you all the way until he reaches your lips and automatically cups your boobs. You feel his very hard cock poking your thigh like he’s going to put it inside you any minute.

Surprisingly, you feel the tip of his head glide on your slit and you gave him a push as a warning but your strength is nothing compared to Johnny’s. “I will not put it in. Trust me on this” he whispered to you.

Nervous, but his lips calmed you in an instant, you trusted Johnny with his plan and let him do whatever he wants.

He continued to grind and gliding his cock on your wet slit and you are very thankful that you trusted him. You smile when he rolls his hips, you grip Johnny’s shoulders when you started being sensitive and then you don’t know what has gotten into you but you rolled your hips and put his head inside your cunt. You kissed him as you grind underneath him and he did not expect that from you.

He noticed you’re liking it too much, so he stopped then the alarm beeps and you thought he was regretting it. You let out a heavy sigh and covered yourself with the thick sheets, avoiding Johnny’s gaze.

“I stopped because I didn’t want any cameras involved when we do it”

Johnny started kissing your exposed shoulder, your neck, and your lips until he earns a smile from you. “let's go out on a date. A proper date. I’ve been always in love with y/n, and I’m sorry we have to get to this part first. I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry for using your work to express my feelings to you”

The way Johnny confessed to you is something you will never forget. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more so there's no harm in giving this a chance. You kissed him and invited him under the covers with you, “Let’s have a house date, we can cook. No more expensive stuff please, you’ve given so much money for the past few months” you rake your fingers through his hair and boops his noise.

“Anything for you” he smiled and reached for your lips again.

That night, you and Johnny stayed in the hotel bed and ordered ramen for dinner.

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Hello!!! I hope you love this because I enjoyed making this to the point that I want it to be a full fic but I dont have the time yet :( thank you for requesting! 

[imgucciking]

Mmmh [KAI]

Listen as you read

Pairing: Idol!Boyfriend!Kai X Fan!Reader 

Genre: Smut, Smut, Smut. After care fluff. And some fluff at the start.

Words: 2k

Warning: Masturbation! Cursing! Marking! Eating out! Penetration! Size kink! Unprotected sex! [stay safe y'all] 

A/N: My first work on tumblr, I wanted to start of with Kai.

Kai was your boyfriend, and he had been for a total of 3 years last month. You had spent the time well at home, he had even cooked some dinner for the both of you! A surprise cake was baked by him as well, in the flavour of chocoltae, your favorite [ You didn't tell him how you found a few egg shells in it]

But right now though, the pair of you were separated. You lived near the outskirts of Seoul, while the headquarters of SM, as well as Kai's house was in the middle of the busy city. Kai was busy with the preparation of his new solo, whiich he hadn't even revealed the name for to you.

He said it was super secret and it would be ruined if he revealed. You of course had pouted, and even tried some aegyo, which you never did in order to get him to tell you what the song was called, atleast. Somehow though, he never told you. On the november 25, the teaser of mmmh had been revealed. 

You had watched the video, then went straight to your bed, your phone in hand, already dialling kai. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHY YOU GOTTA KILL ME?" He had laughed. He fucking laughed. That. Was. It

You were so excited for today! Mmmh was finally getting released and of course you were excited! You got your big computer ready, put it on full screen, 4k quality and the volume was full on. Your phone was right beside ou incase kai decided that he was going to kill you in this mv like the teaser. 

You used the phone a lot. You called him the moment the song started, and of course, he was there, like the sweet boyfriend he was to listen to you fangirl over him, and then gasp and pretend to die when he revealed his abs. He found it very endearing that you did all this. Then, once you were done watching the mv for about the 100th time, he asked ou to always call him like this cause he found it awesome.

You blushed before replying with an ok and then cutting the call. 

It had been a month since then. You were going through the many memories you and Kai had created right now, looking through the million selfies and photos on your phone, your background music being a 10 hour version of mmmh. Bless the soul which made such an awesome repeat.

"You make me feel so mmmh hmmm~" You mouthed the words. All of a sudden, the repeat got over. You pouted to yourself, your hands reaching over to your phone to see what was going on. But suddenly, the song played again, only this time his voice sounded deeper, sexier. Your thighs automatically came closer, his deep voice doing something to your inside. 

Tentatively, you let your hand travel lower down your body, underneath jong-in's hoodie which you had on. You let out a breathy gasp as your fingers came in contact with your heat. You allowed your hands to travel the rim, but not deep in. You wanted to tease yourself. 

And oh were you doing a good job at it. You lied your body more comfortably on the bed, then spread your legs wide, your/kai's hoodie pulled up until it was bunched up underneath your neck. Your nipples had formed hard pebbles due to the cold air in the room, and your left hand was currently playing around with your left breast, twisting it around, rubbing it, and playing with your tits. 

One hand still rested comfortably within the folds of your clit, gently flicking it and pinching at the sensitive nub. One important rule of kai's was that you never played with yourself, because he wanted to be the one to please you, but the thought was long gone from your head, and besides, it wasn't like kai was coming home today, was he?

Oh how wrong could you have been.

The door clicked open loudly, as Jong-In stepped into the house. "I'm home baby!" His words, however were left to drift into the silence, as you were far too lost in the pleasure your fingers were causing you. Granted, they weren't as large as Kai's, but it did the deed and that's all you wanted. 

You were edging closer and closer to your high. "O-Oh! Kai!~" You screeched, as you finally cummed all over your fingers, the white sticky substance coating your hand. Kai heard you. And judging by the way you sounded, he also knew what you were doing right now. 

His cock twitched in his pants, like waking up from a long nap. "God Y/N..." He groaned, before pulling his shoulder back off and placing it on the table. Unbuttoning the top 2 buttons of his top, he walked into your shared bedroom. God how you lay on the bed, his hoodie all bunched up on you, your fingers still buried deep within your cunt. The tent in his pants became painful to handle as he stalked closer to you.

Your eyes were shut from how you rode out your high, your breathing heavy as you rested. Jong In edged closer to your body, before he put his lips very close to your ears. "Didn't I teach you to not touch yourself?" Your eyes shot open as you looked up at his figure hovering over your tiny self. 

His lips were curved up in a smirk. "K-Kai I-" You were cut of by him placing his finger on your lips. "Hush...." He removed his finger once he was sure you would keep quiet, his fingers now wrapped around your airpods, as he plugged one of them off your ear. "What were you listening to, baby?"

He puts one into his ear, greeted by his voice singing out. "Ahh baby.... My song?" You nod furiously, not wanting to do anything that might displease him. He let out a groan seeing you so submissive. He pulled it out, then curled his fingers round your phone which lay forgotten beside you. 

He disconnected the earphones, allowing his voice to sing out loud. "I'm going to fuck you, with my voice in the background. Is that okay babygirl?" You nod once more. His fingers curl around your neck, a tight grip. "Use your voice~" You quickly let it out. "Yes, kai!"

"Ah ah!" He tutts, his grip around your neck tightening. "What is my name?" Your eyes widen before you remember. "Yes s-sir!" He nods, before smiling, his fingers unravelling from you neck, to your hair as he gently strokes it. "Such a good girl for me, aren't you?" His tugs at your hair, pulling you up into a sitting position. 

"Such a good, good girl.... But you've been bad now.... Should I punish you?" Your eyes widen. "No sir! I'm s-sorry!" He smirks, before pulling the hoodie of your body entirely. He inches close to you, and you think he is about to kiss you so you pucker your lips. "Ah ah! Only good girls get kisses!" You pout, and Jong in almost wants to kiss you now.

"I'm sorry!" You say again, as you try to pull him towards you. But he, is able to resist, and he buries his face deep into your neck, gently breathing in and out your scent, his breath hitting right on your sensitive area. He knew how crazy you get when he does that.

"Sir!" You moan, your voice sounding foreign to even yourself. Kai's teeth sink into your soft unmarked skin, as he paint art on you. He was the artist, and you were the canvas, nothing you could do would get you out of this. Once he was done with the hickeys covering your neck, he stood up and went to the chest of drawers were you stored your... toys..

Kai was a bit overexcited with the usage of toys and such, so the pair of you had bought an entire cupboard to keep in the stock of your sex toys. 

He selects a black blindfold, and fuzzy cuffs. Mmmh...Your favorite.

He ties the blindfold around your eyes, and seats you up on the bed, with your hands cuffed tightly. Not too tight enough for it to hurt, but tight enough to not allow you to escape its grasp. You struggle a bit, adjusting your body, till you feel a flat muscle lick against your cunt. 

Your body goes rigid and you stop moving around. He smirks against you, and he knows you can feel him right there. He lets out a soft groan, when you start grinding yourself onto his face, but his hands go to your thighs and he quickly stops you by holding your thighs. 

You whine and whimper at the sudden hold, but he teases you by letting his tongue wander all over your heat, but not where you want it this most. "Kai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Please!" He suddenly stops. "Ah, ah... What's my name?" "Sir!!!!!"

"Good girl, I'll award you, shall I?"

He starts lapping at your juices, sucking, pinching, and stroking at your cunt. Your eyes had rolled back so far into your sockets, that you thought it might get stuck right there. His tongue was much better at pleasing you than your fingers, and the tightening in your stomach only increased. 

"Jong In!! I'm gonna c-" His warmth suddenly leave you. You look up at him, to see him smirking at you. You whine at not being able to release. "I think you've been stretched quite enough, right Jagi?" He unlocks the handcuffs, before tying it again onto you, except this time its not against the bed.

He undresses himself quickly, and as soon as he gets his underwear off, his large member flips against his lower abdomen. Your eyes feast on his naked body, all the ripped muscles on it. You want to trace your fingers over him, but your hands are unfortunately locked. 

You groan at this fact. His hands curl around his member as he strokes it, coating it with his pre cum. Once its enough, he bends over and produres his head into your heat. You groan at the feeling, clenching him and trying to pull him. "So thirsty for my dick, babygirl? Well then, I'll give you what you want!" 

He suddenly pounds into you, thrusting hard and not even allowing you to adjust to his length and girth. "God!" You screech, the pain and pleasure mixing together to cause something totally new. Your hands tug of your blindfold, wanting to see Kai fuck you deep. 

He lifts your left leg up, and places is onto his shoulders, reaching to places within you that had never been touched. "Feel me there? Right in that pretty little stomach of yours baby?" "Oh god yes! You scream, and you know your neighbours will be able to hear you quite well. 

But Kai liked that. He liked to show them all who you belonged to.

He grunts as you clench tightly around him, nearly not allowing to thrust. You were close and he got that. He pound into you even harsher, like an animal unleashed and allowed to do whatever it wanted with your body. He reaches over to your hair, and tugs you up. 

You comply, placing your head on his chest as he continues his work. These move was all you needed for you to come, and you let your cum flow, your eyes rolling to the back of your socket and all you can see for awhile is white. 

He continues pounding into you, chasing his own high. You, being hypersensitive clench tightly around him. This pulled him over the edge, and he cummed into you, releasing his load well. 

He lied next to you, both of you panting and sweaty. His cum flows a bit out of you, wetting the bed below. "That was-" Kai smiles at you. "I love you, Jagi" 

You grin, feeling a bit sleepy. "I love you too baby" 

[mostlycompetentwriter]

The Dreamz

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Seo Changbin

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: Language, Smut

Genre: Established Relationship

Summary: It’s your first Christmas with your boyfriend, Changbin. You want to make it memorable and surprise him, but maybe it’s Changbin who’s determined to make it unforgettable for you.

A/N: This was written for @clandestine-lixie​‘s Smutmas Collab!!!

You were a sentimental person at heart, and the people closest to you had always entertained your tendencies to take things to the extreme, especially when they involved your firsts.

For example, when you were barely seven-years-old, you were over-the-moon excited for your first dance recital, and you planned well in-advance for the event. You put on a pre-show for your family members exclusively in the living room of your childhood home, and you demanded that everyone dress-up for the occasion (even though it wasn’t required); and after the show, you forced your mother to take you out for dinner where you ate far too many cookies while indulging a very sugary milkshake.

And this tendency for the extreme persisted well into your older age, illuminating some of the finer memories you had of your most special moments. Like moving in with your boyfriend for the first time when you threw an impromptu party that very same evening despite Changbin wanting nothing more than to collapse on the new king-sized mattress in your bedroom. 

 But at this point, the two of you had been living together for close to six months, and since this was your first Christmas together with Changbin in the brand new apartment you had leased together, you were determined to make it memorable.

Too bad Changbin was making things far more difficult than they needed to be, and you would think the man would know the finer details of Christmas tree decorating.

“No, Bin,” you sighed. “You can’t just put all the ornaments in the same area! They have to be spread out.”

Changbin chuckled when you snatched away the adorable BB8 ornament he had been attempting to perch next to the other droid. 

“Maybe you should do it instead,” Changbin suggested, and he was clearly amused at your frazzled attempts to decorate the Christmas tree.

“We should do it together,” you insisted, taking a step back to scrutinize the work you had completed thus far. “It’s important to make our first Christmas memorable.”

“Oh, I can make it memorable,” Changbin said with a cheeky wink, and he sat down behind you on one of the loveseats surrounding the fireplace. “We should start a new tradition,” Changbin continued, and he waited until you had adjusted a few more ornaments in place before giving him your undivided attention.

“What kind of tradition?”

“Let’s open one present tonight, babe,” Changbin said, and he was next to you in a second, reaching for one of the packages from the back. “Unwrap this.”

“Oh?” you huffed, accepting the present from him. “It sounds like you were already planning for this to happen.”

“Well?” Changbin shrugged. “We used to do this when I was a kid, so I thought you might like it...”

You sighed, feeling an insurmountable weakness for Changbin’s pout. “Fine,” you agreed, and you surveyed the pile of presents you had purchased for Changbin conglomerated together. “Open this one,” you said, locating a familiar package.

“You first,” Changbin said, and he pulled you down onto his lap with his present discarded next to him; clearly, this was meant for him to enjoy just as much as you.

“Eager tonight?” you teased him.

“This gives me reason to be,” Changbin said with eyes that were literally sparkling with mischief, and you were careful with the wrapping paper while finding yourself thoroughly amused by Changbin’s excitement.

“What is it, anyway?” you questioned aloud, reaching the small black box that had previously been hidden by the bright red paper. 

“You should find out,” Changbin suggested, even though he was already a step ahead of you in removing the tape holding the edges in place.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” you asked, feigning annoyance as you sorted through the tissue paper, feeling yourself start to frown when your fingertips touched what felt like the most delicate satin that you had ever encountered.

But the texture of the gift wasn’t enough to keep you from over-reacting to the scandalous revelation of what had been waiting inside the gift wrap. “Changbin!” you screeched, tossing aside the lingerie like it had physically burned you.

“Hey!” Changbin protested. “That was expensive!”

“You bought me lingerie!” you hissed, flinching away when he dangled the very tiny pair of black panties in front of your eyes. 

“You’ll look sexy in this,” Changbin purred, and he encouraged you to take it from him. “Will you try it on for me?”

“Try it on?” you repeated, hesitantly accepting the thin piece of fabric that might as well have been nonexistent.

“It’s a matching set,” Changbin said, and he reached over for the strapless bra that happened to be lined with a very delicate lace pattern. “I had a store associate help me find it.”

“You went shopping around a lingerie store with an associate?” you questioned, feeling a spike of unjustified jealousy. “She didn’t model it for you, did she?”

Changbin snorted. “No, my model is right here,” he said, taking your hand to fold the other barely-there piece of intimate fabric into your hand. “Please, baby?”

Had you already pointed out your weakness for his pout?

“Alright,” you agreed, whining at Changbin’s outlandish enthusiasm to see you practically naked in your living room. 

Ten minutes later, you found yourself fidgeting nervously in front of the floor-length mirror in your bedroom, tugging at the straps of Changbin’s gracious gift for you.

“Is it supposed to be this small?” you wondered because the panties barely covered your ass and the lacy top did little to protect your cleavage from practically spilling over the top.

“Y/N!” Changbin sing-songed from the living room. “Are you ready?”

“Give me a second,” you called out, huffing under your breath at the absurdity of the circumstances. “This ‘gift’ of yours isn’t very practical,” you continued once you left the bedroom and made the short walk to the living room where Changbin was waiting.

“Holy shit, Y/N,” Changbin said, and his eyes were already glossed over as they remained glued to your form.

“Hey! It doesn’t even fit right,” you complained, but you could tell the comment wasn’t even registering in Changbin’s lust--addled brain as he looked you over with a dark, studious gaze.

“You’re gorgeous,” Changbin eventually remarked, pulling you closer in spite of your protests.

You found yourself standing in between his thighs, trying not to shiver at the touch of his hands on your waist even though the fire was burning right behind you. “It doesn’t cover much,” you said, resisting the urge to wrap your arms around your torso.

“Exactly,” Changbin exhaled, and you rolled your eyes at the little things that impressed him. “Your tits look amazing.”

“Changbin!” you whined again, but this time he laughed and encouraged you to straddle his lap. “Is this really a gift for me?”

“Of course!” Changbin insisted, even as he maintained the appearance of someone who had just won the lottery, running his hands across your ass and up your waist to cup your breasts. “Come here,” he whispered, urging you to connect your lips with his in a heated kiss that betrayed the extent of the damage that your little show had done to Changbin’s arousal. 

“You’re hard,” you said against the taste of him, rolling your hips against his own just to feel the friction of his clothed erection against your clit.

“Can’t help it,” Changbin said, and he grabbed a fistful of your hair with a growl, pulling you lower so that he could speak directly into your ear. “Bend over the couch for me.”

You whimpered at the request, but you forced your legs to work in an effort to lift yourself from Changbin’s lap. It was hard to focus, feeling more and more wetness gather between your legs at his intense stare following you while you positioned yourself for him. “Like this?” you asked in a hushed tone, resting your hips against the arm of the couch and spreading your legs even further apart.

“Yeah,” Changbin agreed, and you could feel yourself growing excited when you heard his footsteps nearing you, hands rough as they gripped your hips in a vice-like hold. “Such a good girl for me.”

You nodded your head - it was the only thing you could do when Changbin was in this kind of mood. Because his desire for you promised all sorts of erotic temptations, and you could barely contain yourself when he started to roll your panties down your legs, fingertips following a sensual trail that left goosebumps in their wake. His actions were sultry and smooth, but there was a degree of hurried anticipation that had you swallowing hard when two of his fingers found their way inside of your already dripping cunt. 

“Fuck,” Changbin cursed, and you could only agree while cherishing the glide of his fingers against the walls of your pussy, stretching you out for him in just the way you liked. Because it made you feel full and desperate, and you were rolling your hips back against his shallow penetrations, allowing you to do most of the work while he no doubt watched from above with the same dark eyes that had reduced you to a moaning mess. 

“Changbin,” you managed around a groan. “Please fuck me.”

“Can I?” Changbin asked, but you knew the question was meant to tease you - a test to see just how fast you could thrust back on his fingers, crying out when he curled them just right to brush against your sweet spot. “Are you ready for my cock?” 

“Yes!” you sobbed, and Changbin was generous enough to have mercy on you in this pathetic state, pushing down his sweatpants just enough to free his erection, rubbing the tip against your entrance.

“I’m gonna ruin this pussy,” Changbin promised with a rough growl that was followed by the sudden slam of his cock deep inside, and he didn’t bother to wait for you to adjust to his generous girth, pulling back out before settling into a powerful and non-relenting pace that had you already seeing stars.

It was sudden, but generous, and you couldn’t help but think that his cock was made for you, stretching your tender pussy so well, accommodating his length and girth as your walls hugged his erection in a desperate attempt to keep him inside forever. Because it was where he belonged, and you were certain that there was no better situation than the one you found yourself in - splitting in half around Changbin’s cock as he pummeled his hips against your own, bruising your delicate waist and ass with his overzealous touches.

“We’re definitely keeping this set,” Changbin said, ignoring your whimper of pain when he snapped the band of your panties into place, toying with the lace around the edges. 

“Changbin,” you said. “I’m close.”

“Me too, baby,” Changbin said, but it was hard to tell since he hadn’t let up once in his brutal thrusts - like he was determined to reach as far as possible, touching places that he had never felt before, stuffing your pussy full of his cock while grunting with the effort of his movements. 

It was all a masterful trap to reduce you to nothing but tears, and you soon found yourself teetering on the precipice, sensing your orgasm just out of reach, until Changbin maneuvered his hand down between the couch where you both remained connected, flicking his thumb across your clit in a series of measured strokes that lit the flame of arousal threatening to burn you alive from the inside.

You cried out when your orgasm hit, reaching out to support yourself against the cushions while Changbin continued to chase his own high, stimulating you just right while you rode out the waves of pleasure before crashing against the shore - feeling utterly exhausted while he started to move you on his own, and there was a renewed strength as he moved you up and down his cock, faster and faster until you thought you might cum again from the effort.

But then Changbin’s hips stuttered against yours, and you could feel the evidence of his release as it warmed your insides. “Y/N,” Changbin gasped, and you took some personal triumph in the fact that he sounded out of breath, even after visiting the gym that morning. 

“Binnie,” you said with a mischievous smirk, collecting your breath and thoughts while he recovered from behind you. “Are there anymore lingerie sets under our tree?”

You knew it was a dangerous question, capable of setting him off once more, but Changbin merely collected you against his chest with a strong arm around your waist, lips brushing against the side of your neck. “Baby, I can promise you that you won’t be able to walk if I have one more go at this pussy.”

You moaned when his hand reached down to cup your heat over the very thin fabric of your new panties, sending you a very obvious message because Changbin never broke his promises. “Should we call it an early night?” you asked, turning around his arms to connect your lips. “The faster we go to sleep, the sooner it’ll be Christmas.”

“Shower and bed?” Changbin asked, holding you close while brushing his fingers through your hair. 

“Just your average Christmas Eve,” you said, and you could feel his smirk against your lips as he kissed you with the remnants of the passion from your earlier coupling, solidifying the fact that your first Christmas with Changbin was, indeed, nothing short of memorable.

[tired0artist]

sing to me (part three)

<<part one>> <<part two>>

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

summary: a street kid V falls in love with SAMURAI music and idolises Johnny Silverhand. years later she finally understands the saying “never meet your idols”

warnings: angst and fluff, Johnny being a dick as always, arguments, V plays the guitar, MORE JOHNNY AND V ACTION IN THIS ONE!!!, references to death, more/different warnings in the future parts

note: I’m describing my V, but you can imagine her however you want tho

•SAMURAI fan V (street kid)•

She was tugging on her hair, groaning in pain as she stumbled out of the elevator.

“Ughh..! Fuck!”

“The hell’s that?” Johnny questioned, looking both shocked and a bit panicked “No, no, dammit!”

V sat down on some box and focused on breathing, her chest and head feeling on fire. She saw him pace around and asked.

“Jesus.. the fuck do you want from me?”

Johnny’s head snapped to her and he stormed over, making her flinch in fear. But instead of attacking her, he grabbed a stool and sat down, saying.

“It’s all going too slow. Gonna decomish before we learn how to rip the chip out”

V glared at him “Wanted me dead. You don’t care if I die”

Johnny calmed down a bit, took off his glasses and looked at her. His nearly black eyes, soft and truthful.

“Made it pretty clear since, that I changed my mind. Want you to live now”

She was taken a bit back by the sincerity that she picked up from his tone.

“What do you want, Johnny?” she asked more calmly, calling him by his name for the first time.

He lit up a cigarette and said “I got a get-outta-jail-free card. I’d be a fucking fool not to take advantage. See me and Arasaka, we got a half-century-old score needs settling, and I plan to do it” he turned towards her adding “That’s. What I need you for, kid”

“So you just... want to use me? Great. Fucking fantastic, Silverhand. Listen I hate the corpos and Arasaka too. But I am still sane enough to know that it’s a lost fight”

He rolled his eyes “I didn’t ask for your opinion, kid. I just need you to take me from point A to point B”

“Fuck you. I’m not a Delamain!”

“Listen I know things. Where we can save your life, who can help us do that. You’ll get rid of the chip, I’ll smash Saka. It’s a win-win kid. Soul killer is what we need and Mikoshi’s how we grab it”

V sighed heavily and tugged on her hair in frustration “What’s this Mikoshi?”

“Okay, basics. If you’re jacked in, cruising the Net. Arasaka can use Soulkiller, an AI, to trap, fry and pack away your psyche, your mind and your soul. Following so far?”

“Yeah... that’s how you died. I saw it”

Johnny didn’t look pleased, as he said “Okay... seems we got a few more things to broach that I thought, but that will come later”

He continued on explaining the importance of Mikoshi and how it works. V nodded along, he had some points. Mikoshi definitely was a place that they needed to go to.

“—so you’re going to live and I’ll destroy Arasaka. As I said. Win-win, kid”

“No” she said, surprising him “We need to explore some options, find allies, find resources and then. And only, then we will attack Arasaka and get to Mikoshi. Not sooner or later”

With that she got up and stumbled away, subconsciously feeling Johnny follow her.

“Kid, we need to work fast! You don’t have time! You’re already falling apart!”

“I don’t have any other choice but to live through it. We need more time, we can’t go into all of this with a hot head”

Johnny sighed “You don’t get it—“

V spun around and pointed at him “No, you’re the one who doesn’t get it. You went into Arasaka, full of rage and devoid of reason. And see where it got you?”

He glared at her and clenched his fists. She nearly flinched in fear of him attacking her once again, but she stood her ground.

After glaring at each other for some time, V let out a cough, groaning in pain. Johnny sighed and grabbed her, leading her to a bench outside.

“Rest up, kid. You won’t do much, being dead”

V sat down, feeling a bit surprised to see Johnny sit down beside her. She coughed into her hand and saw a bit of blood there, V stared at her shaking hand. The proof was there.

She was really going to die.

“You’re not. I’m not letting you, kid. We’ll work something out” Johnny said from beside her, his arms crossed as he stared at the people passing by “Call, that braindance chick. You promised that you would”

V nodded and shook her head, trying to get rid of the blue glitches she saw. She then looked back at Johnny and noticed that he left. Bitting her lip she did as he said, called Judy.

After the call, she went back to her apartment for the night. Taking her guitar she played “Never fade away” singing softly.

Her take on the song was more heavy and calm. Each word consumed by the emotional state she was in.

“We’ll never fade away...” she whispered, ending the song, somewhat abruptly. Not because she forgot the lyrics.

But because her thoughts lingered on Johnny and what happened today.

He was still a dick and managed to annoy her to no end. But then again, he really seemed like he didn’t mean her any harm. Also as much as she didn’t want to admit it, he was being useful and had a lot of info on Arasaka.

V let out a deep sigh and started playing again, thinking.

Maybe I can try and trust him.

Few days later V was walking down the dirty corridor. The place was abandoned, but still she had her guard up. As she neared the door, Johnny appeared.

“Knock four times kid, or the dog will bite”

She sighed and did as he said.

After that things escalated quickly. One minute V was talking to Hanako and another she was falling through the floor.

V let out a groan, her body hurting as black spots danced in front of her vision.

“Get your ass up, samurai! We need to delta!”

She groaned and looked at Johnny, who was looking between her and the corridor where the soldiers were coming.

“—Takemura...” she whispered, worried for the man.

Johnny quickly grabbed her by the shoulders “He’s dead, but you’re not. So get up and get out of here”

V nodded and with his help got on her feet, reloading his gun she got to work.

Halfway through the complex she met and saved Takemura, thankfully Johnny didn’t comment on it. The rockerboy went into full soldier mode as he navigated her through the corridors and warning about possible dangers.

As she and Takemura exited the building, she fell on her knees. The relic and injuries catching up with her.

“V?!” yelled Johnny, kneeling next to her.

“We need to split up! I’ll contact you once it’s safe!” said Takemura, soon disappearing in the crowd.

It pissed Johnny off as he yelled on top of his lungs “FUCKING DOG! HELP HER!”

“Johnny... we need... need to go. I-I’ll be fine...” V said, getting on her feet and quickly stealing a car that was parked not far.

The rockerboy stayed visible all the time, his metal hand heavy on her thigh. He was talking to her the whole time, trying to distract her.

V soon hid inside of a old and nasty motel. There she sat on the bed with a gun pointed at the door as Johnny watched what was going on outside the window.

Not long after their arrival a proxy working for Hanako. V talked to her, agreeing to met her at Embers.

She waited for the proxy to drive away, to leave the room. Her whole world still swaying and glitching.

Johnny stayed visible, as he leaned against a pillar. His face showing that he disapproved.

“What Johnny...? Got some words about the... porcelain cunt?”

The rockerboy only shook his head just as V started coughing up blood.

“Fuck..! Not now!” she yelled, stumbling away trying to get into her stolen car.

“V wait! Shit! Get ready!” Johnny yelled after her.

She almost made it to the door when she completely fell on the ground. Johnny rolled her on her back and watched as she had something that looked like a seizure.

“—Johnny! I’m dying—ughhhh!!!“ she screamed, tears running down her cheeks.

Johnny grabbed her hands, looking at her with worry “No, no, no kid! You ain’t dying yet! I got you”

That’s when V’s whole world went black.

Next time she woke up on the ground, pills in her hand, her body weak and in pain.

“J-Johnny?” she asked, weakly trying to find him.

“That smell, is the sea breeze” he said looking down at her with a soft smile “Get up, Pacific’s beautiful this time of day”

V got up and leaned next to him, watching the sea.

“I almost flatlined yesterday...”

“Almost” Johnny quickly said, harshly as if to force the word on her.

V ignored it for now as she stared at the sea “It’s beautiful... I could wake up to such view everyday”

“Me too” said Johnny as he glanced at her from behind his glasses, unsure himself which view he was talking about.

V closed her eyes as the wind ruffled her already fucked up hairstyle. The air was clearer than in the city. Very... light and a bit colder too.

As she opened her green eyes she looked around asking “Pacifica? What’s this building?”

“Old hotel - the Pistis Sophia. We’re her sole guests right now. Wanted to show you something, come on” Johnny said, while slowly walking away.

V followed him, still feeling a bit disoriented.

“You took over” she stated, leaning against the wall while walking.

“What was I supposed to do? Leave you there? It’s not like I could carry you somewhere...” he said, his fists clenched as he looked annoyed at something.

Feeling a bit bad for calling him out, she simply nodded, saying “Thank you”

He looked at her and he visibly relaxed saying “What are imaginary friends for?”

V moved to follow him again, only to fall on the ground.

“Careful!” Johnny said, glitching to her side.

“I think that I’m going to die soon...” she said.

“Bullshit. We still have time” he denied, holding her elbow.

She smiled at him sadly and said “Okay... show me why we’re here”

Johnny led her to a room, watching as she weakly crawled over the broken window.

“There’s a hidey-hole where I’m standing. Open it. Empty it” he instructed as V got to her feet.

She did as he asked and took the dog tags that were there, sitting on the ground she turned to look at Johnny in question.

“Yours?” she asked him.

“They were. Belong to you now”

V was confused as she stared at her metal in her hand “Fifty years back... Mexican conflict?”

Johnny nodded slightly “When I was a young and stupid kid like you. I enlisted with a corp army. Was in Mexico when I realised that no matter the conflict, corps always win. Ordinary people always lose”

She nodded, seeing the truth in his words. All the corpo fucks got rich because of the wars, that they started. That got good people killed.

“Why are you giving them to me?”

Johnny shifted in his seat “Imagine we’re deployed together, fighting in a war side by side. Would you take a bullet for me?”

V’s eyes got wide, but with little hesitation she whispered “Yes. I would”

He smiled at her, shoulders relaxing as he said “Tags belonged to a man who sacrificed his life for mine in Mexico. Been thinking about our... predicament. Wanna be clear. I will do you no wrong. When the time comes, it’ll be my life for yours. I’ll agree to get wiped. Tags are proof of my promise”

She stared at him, the man that she was afraid of for a long time. Idolised once. And saw nothing but honesty.

V bit her lip and whispered “I would do the same for you Johnny. And... if it will be possible... I would like to try and save you too”

“That’s real cute kid, but impossible. Still, I appreciate the sentiment” he said with a smile “Now I got a request. Whatever happens to me. I want Smasher gone and for Rogue to be there when it happens”

“Okay. Done, but you sure Rogue will bother with it?” V asked getting up and walking over to the exit, along with Johnny.

“She will. I’ll ask her personally, besides you’ll need back up”

“Personally? What do you mean by that?” she asked.

Johnny crossed his arms “You’ll drop one of Misty’s pills and I’ll go talk to Rogue. Convince her to help us out. I promise”

V bit her lip, finally nodding “Alright. I trust you”

“Thanks, kid. Now let’s go home and in the evening we’ll go to the Afterlife” he said, disappearing.

She sighed heavily and got through the window, heading back to her apartment. The dog tags clutched in her hand.

•english isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•you wanna be tagged in the next parts? leave a comment!

•thanks for reading! hope you like it. I will be going through some parts of the main story and beyond. I’m planning it to be a bit longer so if you want something longer than 5/6 parts, this is for you

•tag list: @signwriting @missweatherwax @axshadows

[randomoneshotsblog]

𝗧𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴

Summary: Leon and Y/N want to explore new things 😏

Warnings: daddy kink, spanking, choking, lap dance, filthy stuff ( whichever Leon you want)

Words: 1977

Author's note: it was pretty late when I wrote this so pls dont mind the typos 😪

So, Leon and I wanted to explore new sexual experiences, but we were both afraid of what each other would decide.

Leon is my soon-to-be-husband and after all of this, our quote was: "Sex only after the marriage." But our sexual desires only grow. I'm always horny, I think I'm the horniest from this relationship. I laugh with all this thinking.

Leon had to go to work today to help Hunnigan. I was pretty sad because I was looking forward to spend the day with him. But well, duty calls.

While I'm watching TV - nothing important is showing at the moment - I think what I could do to make our desires better in bed, don't get me wrong, Leon is very good in bed, he has this dominant personality on bed but I wanted to do this for him, to cheer him up.

An idea passed through my mind, I guess all those times that I spent on my bed only reading fanfics was worth it.

I go to our room and dress myself: jeans, a black t-shirt, white jacket and sneakers.

Guess I'm going shopping.

When I arrive home, Leon is not there yet.

Thank God.

It's still 19p.m, he usually comes home at 20p.m, so I still have time. I put the shopping bags on my bed and then i jump into the shower.

I'm really hoping that Leon likes it, it would be totally awkward if he doesn't like it. Crap, now I'm nervous. That's not good.

"Okay, breath Y/N, breath." I prepare for the big night, I get out of the shower, I put my body cream and then I put this:

I stop in front of the mirror, staring at myself.

"Y/N you're looking great." I smile to the mirror.

I hear keys clicking, so I quickly take my robe and wear it.

"Y/N babe, where are you?" Leon's voice is muffled by the room closed door - yeah, I closed the door before I got out of the shower, I knew he would show up -

We live in a apartment, with 2 bedrooms but we only use one of them, so I thought in finally using the other one for my plan.

"Wait for me, on the other room."

"Why? Did something happened?"

"No, nothing just wait me there." I hear footsteps far away, then I know he went to the other room.

I tie my hair into a bun, then I put the mine's and his favorite perfume and some make up, not too much, not too heavy, heels too.

What? A girl has to be prepared

Oh God, it's happening. I'm finally doing it. It's not my first time with Leon but I'm afraid of his reaction, will he love it, be awkward about it, hate it? I don't know but I have to give it a shot.

I even prepared a song for it: (whatever song you like)

I get out of the room, nervous. I bet Leon can hear my heels clicking on the floor.

"Y/N is that you?" He asks.

"Yeah, it's me."

Now I'm standing at the door, hesitating to take the knob. A few minutes I opened it.

On the room, there's only a chair and a music player, that I put it there, I guess Leon bite the bait, because he's sat on the chair.

Reminder: I'm still wearing a robe.

I walk towards him, all of my feelings mixed but not showing. Leon's expression it's just confusion.

Leon can smell my scent from awar.

"Is there any event you're going today?" Leon asks while I go behind the chair to play the song, I shrug.

I can feel him, getting up from the chair, faster than the light I turn around and mention to the chair.

"Sit." My dominant part has come. I give him a hard, serious look, that makes him oblige.

I then go back to play the song.

"What are you doing?" Poor Leon, doesn't know what's gonna happen. I want to tell him, but no, it's only about him today.

I take the black towel that was beside the music player and tie his hands, to keep him in place.

"Y/N what are you doing?"

I walk to be in front of him, and give him a smile, I see his face relaxing.

"Just trust me, do you?" He nods.

After that the song starts playing and I go to the bathroom to take off the rope.

The bathroom is beside the chair that Leon is on.

The song starts in a slow and sexy lyrics and I open the door, to start leaning on the doorframe, I start to hear every single word that the music is saying, while I swing my hips slowly for him to watch.

His eyes are shining with desire and his lips and cheeks are red. I like that feeling, of being wanted.

I arch myself on the doorframe, my ass rubbing on the wall.

I give him a devilish smirk.

I'm loving it and he's loving it.

I start to walk towards the chair, without losing the charm.

I start to swing my hips while playing with myself, my breasts, all of my body.

"Babe, please, let me touch you." He pleads, suprising me but I don't show.

I shake my finger as a 'no'. He throws his head back, in frustration.

"Eyes up here, big boy."

I saw him biting his lip and I do the same, that drives him crazy, every single time.

I can already see his bulge, and I'm already horny.

My pussy is on fire, and probably a pool already but I cant and won't stop.

I turn around, him only facing my behind. I sit on lap and start to tease him but grinding my ass on his dick.

He starts to make small growls. I'm rolling and grinding back and forth in slow movements.

"Baby girl." He growls in my ear. I put my head in the crook of his neck. The song is still going.

He's enjoying this as much as I am.

"Please, untie me babe. I can take care of you." He bucks his hips up in my ass.

Ugh, I want him to touch me so bad.

I face him now, I put my legs on each side of his legs and look at his full of lust and blue eyes.

"You like what you see... Sir?" I ask innocently, while he stares at me and gives a smirk.

"I do, actually. You look so hot in that." The music starts to go sexier and I don't know what to do anymore. This man is driving me crazy.

I start grinding myself on his bulge, that's getting bigger and harder by the time.

"Fuck, babe." Leon moans. I noticed that he's eating me with his eyes, enjoying every single part of my body, the way my breasts are so big, the way I grind my hips, everything.

I put my hands on his neck and attack his lips, biting and sucking his bottom lip. Then I start kissing his neck, giving it a hickey, Leon's breath starts to get louder.

I'm loving it.

I pull on his hair, and all I see it's lust on his eyes.

I put my fingers under his shirt and feel his hard muscles.

Leon is whimpering right now.

I stop grinding and go lower to take his cock. Leon throws his head backwards again. I give a smirk. I love doing that to him.

His cock is so soft and tasty. "You're so big, sir." I moan as I start to rub my hands up and down his cock.

"Don't stop, babe." I start to grind myself again to ease a little the aching on my cunt, while I work on his cock.

The song is already finished, you can just hear our moans and breaths.

I decided that it was teasing enough, but I know that when I untie his hands, he's gonna be the dominant one.

I stop working on his cock, and go to his lips, I give entrance to his tongue, while he's kissing me with full desire. I raise my hands behind him to untie him.

Without stopping to kiss him, I feel big hands on my waist and I let out a relived breath.

"You liked that right? Teasing me. I bet your cunt is begging to be fucked right now." I'm wet. His dirty talk always drive me crazy.

He takes me to our bedroom, put me on the bed. Next there it goes his shirt and pants. I stay there, at his mercy. He can do whatever he wants with me.

He hovers me.

"You know you look pretty sexy in that lingerie. But I bet is gonna be sexier when you're cumming on my cock." He gives a smirk, then he starts grinding his bulge to my cunt.

I start moaning, loud. I cant take it anymore.

"Sir, fuck me already, please. No teasing." He kisses my upper lip.

"You're right no more teasing." He finally takes off my lingerie and his boxers.

He sighs when he started to tug on his cock. God, that was a sight.

Next, he hovers me again. I can feel him putting his cock in my cunt, it feels amazing. He starts to play with my nipples. Biting and sucking.

His thrusts are deep but slow.

"Fuck, Leon. Always fucking me so good!" I moan, while he's kissing my neck.

"This cunt is so tight and good, baby. When you got out of the bathroom with that outfit, I just wanted to fuck the life out of you." He says on my ear.

He starts going faster, the bed is cracking and my moans are getting louder.

"You want to be my little whore, right baby? You want me to fuck you all day and night so you cant walk on the next day?"

"Fuck, daddy. You're so good. I love your cock in my cunt." I'm desperate now, I need more, I'm so horny.

"I need more, daddy, please." He grabs my waist and turn me around.

"Ass up." He spanks my ass, I moan louder.

"Yes, scream for them to hear who's fucking so good." He spanks again.

He plugs my ass. "Fuck, your ass is even tighter. Your little whore." He spanks harder, my ass is red already.

"Fuck, daddy. I love when you spank. Do it, I'm a bad girl." Ugh, I'm so dirty. He's started to fasten his pace, I can feel my stomach about to explode.

He puts my face into the mattress, pounding my cunt. "Kitten, likes that right? Yeah, I know she does."

"Harder, please." He trusts harder and pulls my hair making my back to meet his chest.

My pussy is on fire, it's pulsing so much.

"Are you close for daddy? Huh?" He starts to circle my clit and going faster in his pace, while he puts his other hand on my throat.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I scream, ready to explode.

"Cum, my whore. Cum for daddy." He says with a last pull of my hair and thrusting in my ass and I let go on his cock. He didn't come yet, so he keeps thrusting into me, while I'm rolling my eyes, enjoying the moment.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He growls while he lets go inside of me.

I fall beside him, and he takes the covers. I start shaking and he envelops his arms around me.

"All of that for this amazing thing that happened." He laughs.

"Yeah I wanted to do something different." I say while playing with his fingers.

"I love you." I say looking at him.

"I love you lots." He kisses my lips gently

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

-

11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

-

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

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49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

-

95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Roguish Women Part 3

Summary: Kate Rosseau is an American who fled to Paris to escape her past life. Now she's dancing and playing the part of a courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. There she meets Tommy Shelby who thinks she can be useful in expanding his empire. But has he been blinded?

Part 3: There was a boy, a very strange enchanted boy.

          “Have you heard of the Latin Quarter in Paris?” Her voice arrived before she did, her body trailing after her American accent.

           Tommy glanced over his shoulder to see her approaching. He was out on the deck of the ship that was taking them back to London. It was late, the trip was supposed to go overnight so most passengers were sleeping. But Tommy needed to clear his head and have a smoke out in the salty air.

           “I haven’t.”

           Kate came to stand at the railing beside him. She peered down at the dark churning water below as the ship steamed through the waves. “It’s the home of the Bohemians. Artists and rebels of the like.”

           The word was familiar to Tommy. Sometimes it was passed around to describe gypsies although it was more of a loose term. He never considered himself one. Bohemians were wild as far as he knew. He made a sound of interest but didn’t think the Parisians had any importance to him.

           “I lived in the Quarter when I first came from America. They believe in four things.” Kate turned and leaned her back against the metal railing. She wore her thick coat to ward off the harsh sea winds. “Freedom, beauty, truth, and love.”

           Tommy scoffed. The list sounded flowery and too optimistic. None of those had any bearing in the real world.

           She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t agree?”

           “I didn’t get to where I am today because of love or truth or...whatever else you said.”

           Kate stuck out her lower lip, appearing to ponder his response. “I never said I agreed with them.”

           “You’re looking to find out what I believe in. Try to see what sort of man I am.” Even as he addressed her, his blue eyes looked out over the moonlit-horizon. Watching the gray clouds drift over the English Channel.

           “You don’t let much on so a girl has to be more direct.” She shrugged and sighed. “I’ll take that as you’re going to keep those things to yourself. I just thought you might want some company out here in the cold.”

           “I like to be on my own.”

           Despite the moody response, Kate snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I think I’ve caught onto that by now. Then I’ll go back to my cabin.” She pushed away from the railing and began to walk across the deck.

           “Kate.” Tommy called after her and waved her back over. As she walked back, he reached into his coat and pulled out a flask to hand her.

           “What’s this?” She unscrewed the cap and took a tiny sip.

           “To help with the cold.” He replied.

           A smile tugged at her lips. “You want me to stay?”

           “What do you believe in?” Tommy didn’t completely confess that he wanted her to stay.

           She took a triumphant swig from the flask before handing it back to him. “I believe in the things I see in front of me. Whether they be beautiful or ugly. My mother was killed by an enemy of my father’s. But I didn’t believe the news until I saw her body being dragged out of the Charles River.”

           Tommy would give his condolences but he was sure she had heard it all before. They all had. ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ didn’t mean anything to him anymore. They were just words. “What about what people say?”

           “Well, you can see it in someone’s eyes, can’t you? Whether they’re telling you the truth or not.”

           “Sometimes.”

           “Then it’s a visual thing.”

           Tommy took a drink and offered the flask to her again but she shook her head. “You trust people then?”

           “Not at first, if ever.” Kate drummed her fingers against the railing. The black paint chipping away.

           “That’s wise. You can only trust family, blood, your kin.” He tucked the flask into the inside of his overcoat.

           “I don’t have that luxury,” She let her eyes wander to the moonbeams reflecting off crests of the waves. The frigid wind stinging her cheeks and turning them red. “I lost that a long time ago.”

           Tommy realized that she was referring to her father. The man that had landed her an ocean away from her home. “What else did you learn from these Bohemians?” He diverted the conversation to something a little lighter. Perhaps that would help her open up, give her a reason to trust him in the future.

           She smiled. “There was a boy, a very strange enchanted boy. A little shy and sad of eye, but very wise was he. One magic day, he passed my way. While we spoke of many things, fools and kings, this he said to me-”

           “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Tommy completed the words. Words of a bewitching song the Lees and Youngs used to sing. He could hear the echo of their pure voices carrying over the meadows and weaving through the trees. They sung it in Shelta, Rocka, and English. Sometimes, Tommy heard the tune in his dreams accompanied by a hazy wood. Despite it being rooted in his childhood, the forlorn song always gave him a melancholy feeling. Hearing Kate speak the words brought back that feeling tenfold.

           “You know it?”

           “Gypsy clans we used to travel with sang it.” He replied quietly. “I never understood it.”

           Kate tilted her head to the side. “I think it’s a very clear message.”

           Tommy shook his head and flicked his cigarette into the ocean below. “Love doesn’t work like that.” He put his hands in his pockets and stalked off towards the stairs. The rest of the night, the song played over and over in his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

           “Polly’s gonna have a fit,” Arthur muttered to his brother. They were on their way to Watery Lane, their new addition to the company in tow.

           Kate observed the way the Brummies interacted with Tommy and his brothers. Men tipped their caps and bid the Shelbys a good morning. Women smiled at them, wishing them well and urging their children along. Some were too scared to even look the men in the eye, keeping their heads down and quickly walking past to avoid confrontation. Kate had seen the effect before. Tommy and his company had a reputation that maintained itself for the most part. She could imagine that in due time, the need for violence would decrease. Folks around Birmingham would have enough sense to stay out of the Shelbys way. Of course, there would always be outsiders or those who thought they were strong enough to dethrone Tommy.

           It was a fairly rigid cycle. One man grew so powerful that it appeared he could never be overthrown. But all it took was the right person and the right time to make him fall to his knees. Kate wondered how far Tommy would actually get.

           “Polly doesn’t need to know where we picked her up from,” Tommy replied quietly so Kate, who was a few paces behind them wouldn’t hear. “She’s an American who was seeking a job who happens to speak a few more languages than we do. But lucky for us, she doesn’t speak our language. Works for everyone, aye?”

           Arthur grimaced but knew that Tommy wasn’t going to be talked out of his choice. The minute they left France with the girl there was no turning back.

           “Kate, I want you to come meet me aunt. Polly is the treasurer of the Shelby Company." Tommy placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder and walked her into the betting shop.

           “Bookmaking?” Kate surveyed the scene. “Are you good at it?”

           “Good at bookmaking or good at making money?” Tommy brought her over to one of the office doors, letting his hand slip from her shoulder. "Because those are two very different things."

           “Hm, I guess I’ll find out.”

           Tommy chuckled and knocked on the door. “Pol, want you to come meet someone.”

           The older woman came out and frowned when she saw the young blonde standing beside her nephew. “Another one?”

           Kate looked a bit amused but Tommy simply rolled his eyes. “This is the newest member of our staff, Kate. Kate, this is Polly.”

           “Really?” Polly scoffed out a sarcastic laugh. “And when was this consulted with the board?” She questioned with a hand on her hip.

           Tommy cleared his throat. “Pol, could I speak with you for a moment?” He decided it would be better to be honest with his aunt. They could gloss over the details about finding Kate at the Moulin Rouge. Still, Polly deserved to hear about the potential information about the Americans. That way there would be no surprises. “Kate, if you would stay here.”

           The woman nodded and the two disappeared into Polly’s office for a chat. Kate took another look around, not focusing on anything too revealing. For now, the less she knew the better. Learning secrets was such a dangerous game. It was always possible to know too much. And knowing too much put a bright red target on your forehead.

           “Oi, love!”

           As Kate walked past a barred window, she heard someone whistle to her. Pausing, she glanced over to see a skeevy looking man outside of the window, pushing something through the slot below the bars. “Excuse me?” She didn’t take the greeting very kindly.

           “I said, c’mere.” The older man waved her over, his fingers were dusted with coal clearly pointing towards line of work. Kate was sure that the Shelbys relied on men like him. Poor men barely scraping by and hoping to get rich off a beast with four legs.

           “What do you want?” Kate didn’t budge.

           “What’s it fucking look like? Here to make a bet.”

           Her jaw set. “I don’t work here. I think it should be obvious enough by my accent.” She replied and went to turn away.

           “Fucking cunt.” The two words were probably meant to be quieter than they came out. The man was a coward but he made the mistake of letting Kate hear those words.

           Frowning, she turned and stalked towards the door. “I don’t know who raised you, but that’s very disrespectful.”

“Women were meant to obey, love.” The man tried to save face amongst the other men queuing up behind him. “Maybe next time you do what you’re told and no one’ll call you that.”

Furious, Kate reached into her purse and slammed a small handgun onto the counter between them. “I doubt you would say that to me again.”

           The man’s eyes widened and he took a step away from the window dividing them. “Fucking Shelbys…” He muttered and turned to make a hasty retreat.

           Only moments later, Tommy came out of Polly’s office and found Kate standing in front of the window, tucking a gun away. “You scaring away customers?” He rushed over and grabbed her by the upper arm.

           “Let go of me!” She snapped a reply and shoved the gun towards him. “It’s empty anyways, you can check. I was only making a point.”

           Tommy checked the barrel to confirm there were no bullets. He sighed and handed it back to her. “C’mon, Polly wants to talk to the both of us now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

           Kate loved Polly’s black cigarettes. In fact, she loved a lot about the older woman from the moment she sat down across the desk from her. It was obvious from the onset that she was a woman who accepted no bullshit even from her own family. She was clever and Kate presumed that her intelligence was tested. After all, they were women. They weren’t meant to be smart. They were just supposed to look pretty.

           Polly eyed the young blonde that was apparently the newest member of the company. “So where are you from?” She asked.

           “Boston originally,” Kate answered frankly. “I met Tommy in France.”

           “Mhm. What were you doing in France?”

           “I was a courtesan.” She replied with all honesty. There was no reason to beat around the bush. A smart woman like Polly would find out eventually so what was the use in lying?

           Tommy, however, didn’t seem too pleased that she’d dropped the news that he was planning on keeping from his aunt. “Yep…” He muttered under his breath.

           “So you were a whore?”

           “Yes, ma’am.”

           Polly laughed and shook her head in disbelief. “Well she’s honest, Tom, I’ll give you that.”

           Kate smiled slightly and shrugged. “I’ve nothing to hide.”

           She did.

           “And I’m aware that Tommy says you’ve information about Americans. Information that he wants to use for the company.” Polly had been wise to warn her nephew that he was playing with fire. There were plenty of well-established gangs in America who were powerful enough to end his career in seconds. It was too early to test his luck with them. But Tommy was adamant that they needed to learn information while they could. That way, once he was powerful enough, he could make his move.  

           “I think it could be information very useful to your company. I’m not looking for much compensation, only protection from those who would wish me harm.” Kate explained candidly.

           “You have a lot of enemies?”

           “Enemies of my father.” She clarified.

           Tommy cleared his throat and stepped back into the conversation. “Pol, she knows enough French and Italian to help us with day to day things.” He tried to make the woman a more appealing worker.

           “So what happens if she double-crosses us?” Polly asked bluntly.

           “Then I’m at the mercy of my father’s enemies. You can hand me over, no questions asked.” Kate vowed with steady eye contact.

           Polly looked mildly amused but didn’t seem to dislike the woman. “Alright, but you’ll be watched.”

           “As is expected.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Tommy was a bit surprised that the meeting went as well as it did. Perhaps it was a sign that things were meant to be. He’d have his American informant and things would go smoothly.

           “I’ve rented a flat for you down this way. Take the week to get settled. Try and write down any contacts you can in as much detail as you remember.” Tommy explained as they walked down the street together. He handed her a key to the apartment.

           “Okay, thank you.” Kate was surprised he’d already put things together. “I can imagine that you’ll have my calls listened to.” She pocketed the key.

           He chuckled. Her wit was starting to become endearing if anything. “Do you have private calls to make?”

           “Well I don’t have a family left and all my friends were whores of the Moulin Rouge so I’m guessing not.” She smirked. “I’ve no secrets, Mr. Shelby.”

           “That remains to be seen.” Everyone had secrets, it was doubtful Kate was an exception to the rule.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           “Anything?” Tommy returned to the betting shop after showing Kate to her apartment.

           John was sat at his brother’s desk, feet kicked up. “Well, just a few things.” He handed over a few pages of notes.

           Tommy took them and smacked his younger brother’s feet off his desk. “Go check Finn’s odds. He’s got his head in the clouds, fucked up at least twice today.” He pointed to the door.

           “Well, he’s thick, that makes sense.” John snorted and went to leave.

           “You’re both thick. Close the door behind you!” Tommy yelled after him before sifting through the notes scrawled out in John’s chicken scratch.

           American birth certificate.

           Ballet companies in Boston, New York, and Chicago. Said she studied in Italy.

           Unsure of father or mother’s names. No known siblings.

           Tommy sighed. It wasn’t much to go on. If he could somehow find her birth certificate, that would give him her father’s name to go off of. Then, he could find connections in America. There was a lot of ground to search and he wanted to make sure all his bases were covered before he put trust in this woman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Kate usually knew where to find the hub of a city. Small Heath was, well, small enough that she found the Garrison fairly quickly. The night was in full swing and she dressed in one of her simpler dresses just so she didn’t stand out. But strangers always stood out in the tight-knit neighborhood.

           Upon walking in, Kate was being eyed by anyone she passed. She ignored them and headed for the bar.

           The man tending the bar gave her a funny look. “Erm, ma’am, have you got an escort?”

           “No, I’m on my own. I’ll have a gin and tonic.”

           “I’m afraid women aren’t allowed at the bar alone.”

           Kate raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Honestly, I don’t care. Actually, forget the gin you British like it too bitter. I’d prefer rum.”

           “Miss I…”

           “S’alright. Rum’s on the house.” Tommy walked over and gave his bartender a reassuring nod. He sat down beside the blonde woman who gave him a polite smile. “You like kicking up a fuss wherever you go, that right?”

           “Well behaved women rarely make history, Mr. Shelby.” She smiled coyly. “I’m sure you didn’t get this bar by following the rules and being nice.”

           Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver shilling.“No, I won it in a coin toss.” He balanced the coin on top of his fist, resting on his flattened thumb. “Want to try it out?”

           Kate looked amused and clicked her tongue. “You like to rest a lot on bets.”

           “How I made my fortune.”

           She leaned forward, a mischievous glint in her blue eyes. “I once won a diamond necklace on a horse race and the title to a purebred Arabian stallion in a game of roulette.”

           “Then this game is right up your alley.” Tommy didn’t show her any hint of being impressed. For all he knew she was just blowing smoke. “You win, you’ll get free drinks here for as long as you want. I win, you give me your birth certificate.”

           The bet didn’t appear to scare the woman. Instead, the corner of her lip upturned into a playful grin. “I’m surprised you don’t know everything about me already, Tommy, I’m sure you were searching all day.” When the bartender returned with her rum, she took a large drink. “Alright, I’ll play tails. If you’re lucky I’ll give it to you tonight.”

           “Fifty-fifty chance.” Tommy shrugged and flipped the coin into the air. He caught it and smacked it onto the top of his hand to show the results.

           Heads.

           Kate laughed and shook her head. “Good show, Mr. Shelby. Alright, you can have it. Or I can tell you my father’s name. That’s obviously what you’re looking for.” She surmised.

           Tommy finished his whiskey and shook his head. “I’d like to see it for myself. You only believe things that you see, I tend to operate the same way.” He responded and slid the shilling over to her on the bartop.

           “Has anyone ever bested you before, Tommy?” Kate tucked the coin into her purse without question.

           “No.”

           “So you’ll just keep going until you meet the man you can’t beat.” She shook her head and waved for a refill.

           “Suppose so.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

           After a few drinks, Tommy followed Kate back to her new flat. The three floors were cramped just like most Small Heath housing. But it was furnished and was more than enough room for one person. Tommy had to share the same sized space with four other siblings at one point in his life.

           Kate dug through her suitcase and retrieved the official piece of parchment with a seal. She pointed at the inked words with her dark red painted nails. “Kathleen Lynch.” She read off. “Father, Ryan Lynch. Mother, Francis Lynch.”

           Tommy scanned the document for any tells that it was forged or fake.

           “I changed my last name every time I had to leave a city for whatever reason.” She explained and crossed her arms over her chest.

           “My brother got information from your past time in ballet companies. They said you studied in Italy.”

           She laughed and went to the tiny kitchen. Tommy heard her searching through a few cabinets. “I only said that so they’d give me a shot. I learned ballet from an older woman. She was in the Russian Imperial Academy before she moved to the U.S. Better teacher than anyone in Italy.”

           Tommy committed her father’s name to memory before placing the birth certificate on the coffee table. “When did you learn French and Italian?”

           Kate returned with a bottle of wine. Chardonnay, like she said she liked back when they were in France. “I learned Italian from a few friends in Boston. The few that lived around South End. I learned French when I arrived in Paris. There were enough people in the Latin Quarter who knew a few different languages. I know enough to get by. If it’s a romance language I can find my way around it.” She removed the cork and took a drink right from the bottle.

           “You learned a lot from these Bohemians.” Tommy noted and held out a hand.

           She passed the bottle of wine over. “I like to learn a little from everyone I come into contact with. Everyone has something to teach.”

           Tommy watched as she tugged off her heels and stockings to get a little more comfortable. She was certainly different from the women he was raised by or worked with. At least she held a measure of class despite how brash she could be. “Who taught you about guns?”

           Kate reached into her purse and pulled out her small gun. “My mother.” She allowed him to inspect the pistol. Unlike that morning, it was loaded. “We lived in a rough part of Boston. My father was a drunk so he couldn’t protect us even if he tried. My mother always kept a loaded Winchester. Those who knew her were wise to leave her be after she shot a robber in the foot.”

           “Is that what you learned from her then?”

           Kate nodded. “I’ve had more than enough men test me.” Her playful nature faded a little as her blue eyes relived whatever past that still haunted her.

           “Ever kill a man?”

           She snapped out of her daze and laughed bitterly. “Oh, Nature Boy, you’ll have to bet something good on a coin toss to get me to admit to anything like that.”

Permanent Tag: @sansajonsastark​ @giftofdreams​

Masterlist

[disasterdeacy]

Taking Care of Business

A/N: this isn’t the best thing I’ve ever written, but it’s a THING, so ENJOY! This is loosely based on a request I received from @toomuchlove-willkillyou who requested bondage with Sub!Bri.. I hope you like it doll!! Pairing: Present Day!Brian May x Young!Reader Word Count: 1.7k (not too bad but still short in my mind Summary: Brian misbehaves during dinner, forcing Y/N’s hand once they arrive home.. Warnings: pwop, 18+, age gap, sub!bri, hints of mommy kink, could be read w NIMWD and SDOD, lube is important, plz use lotion after bondage plz think of the skin

You couldn't believe the sheer level of excitement coursing through your body as you gazed down at the mess Brian had made on himself. His cock was still twitching, cum leaking from the slit at the tip of his blood red head. White hot cum covered his belly and chest, sticking to the fine hairs that lined his body, just tempting you to lick it up, to not waste a single drop of the delicious liquid..

But, you couldn't, you had to be strong, had to show him that you were in charge, that his actions had consequences, that he just couldn't trail those gorgeously calloused fingers up your thighs in the middle of dinner with Rog and Sarina.. that he couldn't trail those fingers over your naked cunt before the soup course had been served.. he had to learn his lesson.

That's why you were sat between his restrained legs, a bottle of lube and clear fleshlight in your hands, pupils blown with lust as you watch your husband of 4 months bucking against the vibrating prostate stimulator you'd inserted into him almost as soon as you'd gotten home, pressing him against the front door as soon as it'd shut, smirking when you'd felt just how fucking hard he was.

God, you could feel him throbbing through the fabric of his nice black trousers, and you were certain that if he'd not been in black, you would be able to see a rather obvious dark spot right in the front.. He'd begged you for it, for you to punish him, make him scream for you to stop, to make him cum as many times as he could.. so that's exactly what you were working on.

"Oh Bri, you look so fucking gorgeous like this honey.. all tied up and begging for me to make you cum again."

You leaned down, licking a hot stripe along the inside of his thigh, laughing loudly when his hips buck up, his arms straining against the restraints keeping him from touching you.. god, you really hoped he wasn't going to have bruises the next day.. that would be difficult to explain to people.

"P-please Y/N! I-I don't think I can take anymore.. I-I'm s-so sensitive."

Oh and he was, his cock was absolutely throbbing, even after the earth shattering orgasm that your mouth had just brought him to. But it was perfect for what you had planned for him.  Sitting back up, you pour a generous amount of lube into your hands, rubbing them together to warm the liquid.. You wanted him to be punished, but you weren't  a fucking sadist.

“Shut your mouth pretty boy, and let mommy take care of your quivering little cock.. it's honestly pathetic how hard you are for me right now, just leaking all over yourself, making a mess.. if it wasn't for how fucking hot you look underneath me right now, I'd just leave you here all night."

You quickly wrap your lubed up hands to his cock, squeezing tightly around him, moaning just a bit when Brian almost comes of the bed, the head and footboard  groaning in protest against the force of his jerking against the restraints.

"No sir! You calm your ass down right not or I won't touch you for a week.."

It was just a thinly veiled threat, you knew that you couldn't stay away from him for more than 3 hours, much less 1 week.. but, it did the trick and Brian merely whimpered loudly, settling back down, his white curls frizzy against the robins egg blue sheets.  He looked like a goddamn angel, and you get like a succubus, your only purpose for existing to make the man underneath you fall into a world of pleasure and pain.

Continuing your ministrations on his cock with one hand, you reach over and grab the clear fleshlight, a personal favorite of yours to use on Bri.

He had said that it felt as close to your cunt as he could get, that it clenched him like a vice and could make him cum all over himself in less than 2 minutes.. something you wanted to test right now. Releasing his cock, you lean over him completely, pressing a sweet reassuring kiss to his lips, nuzzling his nose just a little.

The two of you could be rough, but you always made sure to comfort the other, to let them know that you loved them and would take care of them. Brian kisses you back just as gently, sighing into the action, just so grateful for you, to have you make him feel good physically and emotionally. His lips are still attached to yours when he feels you slip the fleshlight over his sensitive cock, his mouth opening wide in shock and a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"F-fuck! Y-Y/N! S-so.. fuck!"

You smirk against his lips, twisting your wrist to enhance the friction against his cock, the fleshlight moving along with you, twisting against his cock. His face was screwed up in pain, his poor cock was already so raw and sensitive, but he loved it, he loved how good it hurt. Loved how you knew just how to fuck him to make him a quivering mess.. and you didn't even have to use any part of your body to make it happen. You just had that level of power over him...

"Have you learned your lesson baby? Are you gonna be a naughty little boy anymore? Gonna try and finger mommy under the table of a goddamn Michelin Star restaurant anymore baby boy?"

Your lips were now sucking marks onto his neck, teeth scraping the sensitive skin as your hand sped up to almost lightning fast speeds, the fleshlight making purely obscene noises as you fucked him relentlessly, twisting your hand as you pulled upwards on him. The whimpers and moans coming from his mouth were enough to make your mouth water, and you knew that he was close.

"M-mummy.. p-please! It hurts so good mummy, I-I'm sorry I wa-was so naughty tonight.. I-I won't d-do it again! I promise! P-please!"

You could feel his pulse racing under your tongue, his heart almost beating out of his chest when you move your free hand up to his chest, taking his left nipple in between your index finger and thumb, squeezing down on the sensitive little bud just as his cock explodes, cum coating your hand as he screams. You're desperately thankful that you don't have any neighbors, that you aren't living in that little flat that he'd moved in with you in when he and Anita divorced.. here, he could be as loud as he wanted, and you loved it.

"That's it baby boy, just let go, let it out honey."

Your lips were now pressing soft and gentle kisses to his neck, up his jaw, and onto his cheeks, kissing away the tears that had fallen form his eyes. His whole body was shaking as you lifted the flesh light off of him, gently cradling his softening cock in your hands before lying it down on on his belly. He'd made an even bigger mess than before, so after placing a single kiss to his forehead, your scurry off the bed and into the en-suite bathroom, wetting a rag with warm water before returning to clean your husband up.

He was still tied to the bed as you cleaned him, humming a soft song to him as you did so, taking extra care to be gentle with his cock.. god, it was so red and raw, you almost felt bad.. but then you remembered how much he enjoyed it, how much happiness and pleasure he got from you doing this to him, and you didn't feel so bad anymore.

"You did so good tonight Bri.. I'm so proud of you for being so sweet and listening to me."

You've just finished cleaning him up when you speak, depositing the rag in the hamper in the corner before coming back to untie him, starting with his quaking legs before gently undoing the restraints that held his arms, smiling sweetly when he legs out a sigh of relief, a smile playing on his on features. You smile back down at him, placing a kiss to his lips as you rub lotion on the raw skin of his wrists, not wanting to cause him anymore pain than you already have.

"I'm sorry I was so bad at dinner tonight love... I just.."

He's sheepish, his head ducking into the pillows beside him as you crawl into the bed, your arms going around his shoulders, pulling him flush against you. You chuckle a little at his unfinished sentence, knowing exactly why he had been so bad.

"You wants me to punish you didn't you baby?"

He doesn't respond right away, just buries his face into your neck, his white curls tickling your neck and chin, causing you to laugh.

"It's okay pretty boy, you don't have to be embarrassed about it.. if you want me to punish you, all you have to do is ask.. not shove your fingers up my dress in the middle of dinner.."

You're teasing him, your fingers dancing over his sides as he legs out a breathy laugh, wrapping himself into you tighter.

"I know love, I just wanted to be really REALLY bad for you.. I know how much you like it when I squirm."

He places a kiss to your décolletage, sleep starting to wash over him, a yawn taking over. His cock was absolutely rubbed raw and he could barely think straight, he needed sleep almost as badly as he needed you to help him fall asleep. Sensing his sleepiness, you place a little kiss to his hair, running your fingers through his iconic curls before you settle in yourself, turning off the lamp beside you before lying on your back, allowing Brian to curl into your side completely, his face pressed firmly into your breasts.

He was dead asleep before you could even bring the covers over you, soft snores falling from his parted lips.

"Get some rest baby.. I love you."

Despite his state of consciousness, he somehow manages to moan out what sounds like an 'I love you too', before returning to his snores.

Tags: @meddows-taylors @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @leah-halliwell92 @stephydearestxo @unofficialbillnye @glasgowkisschelseasmile @brianmayoucease @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @danamaleksworld

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Ava

Buster: Give me your boyfriend's number Ava: No Buster: I'm not pissing about here, Ava Ava: Me either Buster: I need it Ava: He doesn't need to talk to you Buster: Yeah, he does Ava: No Ava: How many ways do you need me to phrase it Ava: I'm not giving it to you Buster: For fuck's sake Buster: This is important Ava: I know exactly what it's about Ava: you aren't having it Buster: Then don't be stupid Ava: Don't even fucking talk to me Buster: Do as you're fucking told and this conversation can be over Ava: Go to hell, literally Ava: delete my number whilst you're at it Buster: I'm already there, cheers for the sisterly concern, like Buster: And for making this about you Ava: I'm not making anything about me Ava: you deserve to feel so much worse than you do Buster: You don't know shit about how I feel Ava: Guess what? I don't fucking care either Ava: I know it isn't enough, it never is with you Ava: especially now I know what you did Buster: You ain't got a clue what happened, shut up Ava: Sure, I'll shut up, you shut up Ava: because I don't want to talk to you Buster: I ain't trying to talk to you either, just your boyfriend Ava: Not happening Buster: If you care about him, you'll make it happen Buster: Because if I have to force this, I will Ava: You know what's the worst? Ava: Knowing that Nancy was right about you all along Ava: drop dead Buster: You wish Buster: I'm not going anywhere Buster: You can tell him that as well Ava: I won't Buster: Mum and dad are right about you, you're a fucking child Ava: They'll be made up with what you've done Buster: Yeah, 'cause that's what matters right now Buster: Jesus Christ Ava: I know exactly what matters Ava: and that's keeping that child with James Buster: I just want to talk to him Buster: Find out if his ex is bullshitting me or not Ava: You're so fucking stupid Ava: My God Buster: You think I don't know that Ava: What the fuck have you done Ava: Why Buster: I ain't talking about it with you Ava: You're unbelievable Ava: do you know how many people you've hurt with this Ava: how many lives you've ruined Buster: Do you know who the fuck I am, 'cause I thought so, but you're ready to believe whatever you reckon you know so fucking easily Ava: No, I don't know who the fuck you are anymore and how do you think that makes me feel Ava: you can spin it however you want, and hey, if you're lucky, Ri will fucking believe it Ava: but there are facts of the matter here that are undeniable and they change how I see you Ava: not that I can fucking look at you Buster: Rio knows what that fucking girl did to me, you don't Ava: She told you that child was yours! Ava: and whether she took it back or whatever other bullshit excuse you want to use, you never fucking checked Ava: you did nothing Ava: you can't change that Buster: And in the next breath she told me it wasn't, before I could get a DNA done, I barely had time to tell mum what happened Ava: and whether she took it back or whatever other bullshit excuse you want to use, you never fucking checked Ava: It doesn't matter Ava: you didn't do anything Ava: you fucking coward Buster: I didn't want a kid with a girl who assaulted me, sue me Ava: So you let that kid stay and be raised by her Ava: you let someone else take your place and did nothing Ava: you buried your head in the sand and pretended it never happened, that that kid didn't fucking exist Ava: the brother I knew wouldn't do that Ava: you buried your head in the sand and pretended it never happened, that that kid didn't fucking exist Ava: the brother you're pretending to be now, who suddenly wants to do something about it like it's not too much too fucking late Buster: If something like that ever happens to you, see how much you wanna dwell on it afterwards Buster: I couldn't fucking think about it Buster: You don't get to judge me Ava: There was a child Ava: Not everyone had the luxury of not thinking about it Ava: how could you, you weren't even fucking gone Ava: you were still here, you had to see him every fucking day and you never once thought to check, that he weren't going through the same fucking thing but worse Ava: who are you? Buster: I didn't even fucking remember it, she could have been making it up that we even made a kid for all I knew, she still could Ava: You wish Buster: Yeah, I do Buster: And what? Buster: I wanted to believe that she wouldn't do that, that I wouldn't let her, even if I could barely stand up, that there were no circumstances in which that would ever happen Ava: Well it did Buster: I still don't know that, I never have Ava: Just leave them alone Ava: you don't want her any more than Chloe did Buster: I just want to know Ava: I don't believe you and I don't trust you Ava: I'm not going to help you Buster: Ava, come on Buster: You're my fucking sister Ava: And Nancy is yours Ava: even if she's the most annoying person ever Ava: you don't do that Buster: She left me, you don't do that Ava: She left me too Ava: then you made everything so much harder by doing exactly what you wanted Ava: so fuck you, you're made for each other Buster: You had me, you were a kid, who did I have? Buster: Rio, so yeah, I did what I did Buster: Just like you're doing exactly what you want to now, with him Ava: Didn't really have you then, did I Buster: I've always been here for you, don't chat shit just 'cause you're mad at me Ava: Don't fucking talk to me like I don't know what it was like Ava: when I lost all the friends I'd had since I got here because of you Ava: and I had to start again Ava: and you only did what you did because you didn't want to have Jay, so let's not even fucking start Buster: Don't you fucking start Buster: I did what I did 'cause I've loved her my entire fucking life Ava: It isn't me you need to convince Ava: Chloe told you she was pregnant, you outed you and Rio Ava: deny that because you can't Buster: You're acting like I did all of this without speaking to her Ava: You're acting like you can't convince her of anything Buster: Don't Ava: Fine Buster: I couldn't convince her not to have Venus, could I? Buster: Don't paint me like some controlling cunt, I'm not Chlo Ava: At least you're raising her knowing she's not yours Buster: I thought James did know she was his Ava: That's a handy assumption to make Ava: like taking her word on the 2nd go, yeah Buster: I thought he'd got a DNA that's a fair assumption considering the song and dance she made of him being the dad Ava: Is it any wonder Ava: you started that performance and we were dragged along for it Buster: Whatever, Ava Buster: Hate me all you want, I've got bigger problems Ava: Don't fucking whatever me Buster: Or what? Buster: You don't wanna fucking talk to me, you just wanna shout the odds Buster: Fuck that Ava: You piece of shit Ava: you're just as bad as mum and dad, I'm only fucking important when you want to play protector Ava: when I actually have thoughts and feelings and dare to ask you to acknowledge them and acknowledge that I was there too, then I'm just a kid again Ava: you should care if you think I hate you, you should fucking care about me Buster: Like you've acknowledged any of my feelings, fuck you Buster: I told you she raped me & I'm the bad guy for not insisting that she tells the truth and gives me that child to raise Buster: You care more about your boyfriend than you do me, you're willing to forgive and forget every mistake he made at 16 Ava: You're the bad guy because you let it happen to him and now you're gonna drop in and take her away Ava: they're all he has! Ava: she didn't do what she did to you, over six years Ava: you have no idea how damaged he is Buster: I let what happen? I thought he was happy, he fucking said he was Ava: You should have noticed, one of you should have fucking noticed Buster: Yeah well, I was obviously too busy ruining your entire life as you've already pointed out Ava: You can't even take any responsibility for it Ava: not even now Ava: all he does is blame himself, for all of it, all the time Ava: and you just Buster: I should've done more, yeah Buster: Like I should've for Nance Buster: Like you're saying I should've for you Buster: I fucking didn't and I'm fucking sorry Ava: Just leave them alone, okay Ava: just leave it Ava: they love each other Buster: I know that Buster: Fucking hell, I've got my own kids, I know how he feels Ava: Then don't do it Ava: if you get it at all, you won't do that to him Buster: Pretending is what fucked everything Buster: We can't just leave it unanswered Ava: then find out but don't take her Ava: he's all she's ever known, that's her dad no matter what the test says Buster: I'm not a monster Buster: Whatever happens I'm not gonna just snatch her Buster: Jesus Ava: That's not what I mean and you know it Buster: You can't tell me to take responsibility and then to leave it Buster: If she's mine I'm not gonna leave her with someone you're calling a damaged person Ava: Responsibility then and responsibility now are two different fucking things Ava: so concerned you left her with that person and someone you know to be a bully and a rapist for six years Ava: bullshit, Buster, James is an amazing dad Buster: I made a mistake then, all the more reason not to make one now Buster: Yeah, he probably is, but he's also weak-willed, he'd have her back on the scene again once her fiance dumps her Buster: You're the only one stopping that Ava: No he wouldn't Ava: and no he isn't, not remotely Ava: you don't know the first thing about him Buster: She's finally gone, it ain't a risk worth taking, not on your bias Ava: Fuck that and fuck your bias Buster: If I know she's my kid in black and white and I walk away that's unforgivable Buster: I won't Ava: If you take a child away from a loving parent, who has given up everything for them, just to fuel your own fucking ego, that's worse Buster: Caleb was a loving parent, you can't ask Edie how she feels about it though, can you? Ava: Let's give her to Drew, see how Indie turned out Ava: you've already walked away, you and your hero complex want something to do Ava: and you said you wanted a girl next, you're transparent Buster: Fuck you Ava: Fuck you too Ava: Jay is not your pawn to wrong Rio with because she wronged you with Venus first Buster: That's not what this is Buster: How dare you Ava: You can't handle the fact that she's better off where she is than with you Buster: I don't know that she's better off there 'cause you won't let me talk to James Buster: Literally all I have is your word and Chlo's about everything, this is my fucking life Ava: And Jay's Ava: and Matty's Ava: and James' Ava: you're incapable of not being selfish Buster: I don't need the list, like Ava: I told you, I'm not helping you Ava: I don't trust you anymore Ava: you can reach out yourself online Ava: if he wants to give you his number he can but I'm not facilitating you doing this in any way Buster: Fine Buster: Pick your battles and your sides then Ava: I have Ava: I had no choice Buster: We're done here Ava: No need to tell me Buster: Delete my number too Ava: You've broke my fucking heart Buster: Go cry to Nance about it, she's already been there Ava: of course Ava: bye, Buster Buster: I'm not saying it Buster: You made your choice Ava: So have you Buster: No, I'm still trying to work out what the fuck to do Buster: Your mind is the one that's made up Ava: Bullshit Ava: we all know what you're going to do Buster: You don't fucking know me, you said it yourself Ava: You always do exactly what you want to Ava: don't need to be family or call it anything but an educated guess Ava: I've not sat here arguing with myself, you've never once said you won't take her, in fact you said that would be unforgivable Ava: I know she's yours, remember, so what's there to discuss Buster: Except for those 13 years I didn't, yeah? But everyone's so quick to forget about those, everyone but me Ava: It's called being a child Ava: Christ, mum and dad are the same Ava: it's not a unique experience, you get told what to do and when to do it until you're old enough and big enough to push back, simple as Buster: It's called I'm not living on my knees any more for no cunt Buster: And when it suits you to behave exactly the same, you're the first one to Ava: I do the right thing Ava: even if I don't want to Ava: or it's hard Buster: The right thing isn't turning myself into Drew, with Edie, not Indie Buster: Unless he never tells her, she'll know she had a dad out there who didn't give a single fuck Buster: That isn't who I am and I won't turn myself into that for you Ava: It's just so fucking Ava: fucked Ava: she's already lost the mum she knew Buster: You act like you know she'll be miserable but what you should know is that I'd never let that happen Buster: Whatever it takes, even if I have to co-parent with James like we're a gay couple Ava: Don't make me laugh my head hurts Ava: she'll want to stay with him, I swear, you ask her and that's what she'd say Buster: When have I ever given less than 110% to anything? When have I ever given up? Buster: You do know me Buster: I waited years for Rio, I know how to play a long game Buster: She needs to know me too Ava: I'm just trying really hard to make this right Buster: Me too, believe it or not Ava: There is no right for everyone Ava: she's made sure of that Buster: I never meant to break your heart, Ava, or Nancy's or Rio's Buster: I don't wanna break hers, or James' Ava: I know Ava: I know Buster: I need your help as much as he needs it, okay? Buster: Every fucking member of this family is going to have something to say and none of them are going to listen to me Ava: It's going to be awful Ava: does Ri know that you know or Buster: I'm avoiding her like the mature and responsible adult I am Ava: You probably should know before you tell her, for definite Ava: I'll do the DNA, if you want Buster: Yeah? Ava: Unless you want to avoid her to the degree of leaving the country, it's the quickest way Buster: I don't and I can't avoid her for weeks either so how quick can we actually find this out? Ava: 3-5 days Ava: that's how long James' test took Buster: Jesus Buster: I could drink myself to death in that time Ava: Don't Buster: You wouldn't miss me, you've made that obvious Ava: Shut up Buster: You and Nance can have a party on my grave, like Ava: I said don't make me laugh Buster: Granted, it wouldn't be much of one if she's organising it, you might wanna handle that yourself Ava: Stop it Ava: I said some things I shouldn't have Ava: but I'm not ready to apologize yet, alright Buster: I don't want one Buster: You ain't done anything as fucked as me yet, I hope you never do Buster: In words or actions Ava: I am sorry about what Chloe did to you though Ava: she was a monster Ava: is Ava: James couldn't leave her alone with the girls, she said she hated them Ava: and not just when she was overtired and harrassed, like Ava: repeatedly...and now she's just left them Buster: if we were girls and she was the lad everyone would be on her case, as it was I didn't even know if anyone would believe me Buster: I'm sure he feels the same about every stunt she pulled with him Ava: I think it was the same Ava: with the baby, for him Ava: she did a lot of evil things Buster: I shouldn't have taken him at his word about being happy Buster: Or let it go when she did that to me, I should've worked out what actually happened somehow Ava: He doesn't blame you or anything, I didn't get any of that from him Ava: you were both different people back then Ava: and you've both only got the now to work with Buster: I genuinely didn't reckon I could've been the dad, I was blackout, like the worst state I'd ever been in, I thought she was just saying it to try her luck Buster: So when she took it back, it made sense that he'd shut her up by proving it Ava: and James didn't reckon he could push questioning it any harder than he did, with what everyone was already saying about her Ava: you all made mistakes Ava: but I do see yours were more genuine than I gave credit Ava: hers were all wilful, apart from deciding to have a baby she aparently never wanted, but only she knows why she did that, then again, perhaps not Buster: At the end of the day, he loved Jay and I loved Rio and we made our choices in line with that Buster: Would I do shit differently now if I could, obviously, but do I regret that James was the one who raised her, obviously not Buster: And he wouldn't either Buster: I ain't denying that he's a good dad, I can't Ava: I just don't know how she could do this Ava: do it for so long Ava: and to so many people Ava: then to explode it all and walk away Buster: She's fucked, as for why she's fucked I ain't a doctor and I don't really care Buster: There's no excuse Buster: She only cares about herself and that's all she'll ever care about Ava: I guess so Buster: What matters is mistakes are still being made and I'm fucking sick of it Buster: So's he, I bet Ava: Of course Buster: We're gonna figure it out then, me and him Buster: Do better Ava: Okay Buster: That's who the fuck I actually am and you can trust me Ava: I'm sorry Ava: I'm just trying to protect them Ava: Let me talk to James, then I'll give you his number, yeah? Buster: Don't be sorry for that, I understand, you know I do Ava: Yeah Ava: but you know I love you too Buster: 'Course Buster: There's fuck all you could say that'd ever make me think you don't or make me not love you back Buster: It's about what you do, Ava, and like you said, you do the right thing Buster: You're not like me & Nance Ava: Come on Ava: you don't always do the wrong thing either, or the worst things even if it's not technically right Buster: Tell it to Rio so I don't have to borrow James' divorce lawyer Ava: She won't leave you Ava: if she stood by you the first time 'round Buster: Just 'cause you're happy to raise Chlo's kid don't mean she will be Buster: Jay and Venus don't cancel each other out Ava: Okay, yeah, I don't think they actually do Ava: but I also don't think she'll leave you Buster: Yeah well I wouldn't blame her Buster: This is so fucked Buster: How the hell do I make up for 6 years of absence? Buster: Nance left us and we hate her Buster: My own daughter is gonna hate me before I've learned a single thing about her Ava: Well, probably at first Ava: but she's still a kid Ava: and she's met her mother Ava: when she's old enough to understand all the things Chloe did, she'll understand why you did what you did Buster: I've looked at every picture of her as far back as they go, I don't know what I'm looking for but I can't stop Ava: I never thought she looked like you Ava: obviously Ava: but now I see it I can't unsee it Buster: Yeah Ava: What are you going to do if Ri does leave you Buster: It depends how successfully trying to kill myself goes Ava: Don't say that Buster: What can I say? I don't wanna live with her ever again, it was hard enough the first time Buster: without* Ava: I'll have to talk to her, I'm really good at this, clearly Buster: I don't know what you reckon you could say that I wouldn't but I won't have fuck all to lose at that point so Ava: It's not gonna happen, we don't need to think about it Ava: there's enough bad shit without imagining it, yeah Buster: I know you think I was a selfish cunt for choosing her, it's alright Buster: I'm never gonna be able to make any of you understand that it wasn't a choice Ava: You don't have to Ava: everyone knows deep down that who you love ain't a choice Ava: it's just an easy thing to throw in your face in an argument, right Ava: Nancy didn't choose to be so fucked up that she can't be around any of us, but it's still shit regardless Buster: She thinks she can make love a choice though, she's been doing that since the teacher broke her heart Ava: She's not herself Ava: she doesn't know who that is anymore Ava: how can you love or be loved Buster: She hasn't been herself since she was 10 and we all know why Buster: This is gonna be the final nail in the coffin for us Buster: She'll never forgive me Ava: Probably not Ava: not until she lets all that shit go Buster: There's nowhere for her to put it down, Chlo's never gonna be sorry Ava: That doesn't mean she has to carry it Ava: no one needs to hold onto it Ava: she's a callous, evil bitch, sure Ava: but she's got the right idea there Buster: We both know that but we ain't the ones who've gotta do it Ava: Yeah well Ava: I've given up hoping Buster: You've gotta do what you've gotta Ava: Yep Ava: I don't need her anyway Buster: Neither do I any more Ava: Life moves on even if you don't Buster: She ain't dead, she could do loads of shit, but she could just as easily do fuck all Ava: She'll do lots of things Ava: I just doubt one of those will be dealing with decades of bullshit Ava: it's too much effort when you can get by happily enough being fucked Buster: Not giving 110%, it's like she ain't even one of us Buster: Gutted mum and dad Ava: They really are Ava: but she's looking to be favourite when this all comes out Ava: soz Buster: It's still you Buster: They just can't lose face by admitting it Buster: 'Cause how dare you not dump James on their say so, especially when they already have me as a black mark against them Ava: 🙄 Ava: being their favourite is a full-time occupation Buster: Tell them you love him, I know you ain't Buster: There's fuck all they can say to that, like you said Ava: Correction then, there's fuck all they could say to you Ava: obviously you love Rio, you've known her your whole life, and as it's you know, not what everyone does, you were obviously sure about it too Ava: they'll just say it's too soon to know or I'm too young to know what love even is or something as equally as patronizing Buster: Come on, he needs you, how supportive can you be on their fucking curfew Ava: You wanna talk to 'em? Buster: I ain't scared to Ava: I don't think leading with my love life will soften the blow of your news, sorry to say Ava: how did mum take it before even? Buster: She told me to get a DNA, which yeah, still good advice ain't it Ava: forever the pragmatist Buster: And she told me there was no point trying to get her done for assault, which there wasn't Ava: I mean, would've been near impossible to prove without a shadow of a doubt but Ava: not really what you're meant to say, is it Buster: Other people would have said worse to me Buster: Like I wasn't actually that drunk or I should learn to handle my drink Buster: They'd frame it as though I wanted it to happen but I regret getting caught and having to deal with being a cheat Buster: It's no different to what you thought Ava: I didn't know Ava: she didn't frame it as btw I raped Buster and you aren't the dad, bye Ava: she said you were both drunk, it felt like a fairer assumption then than it does now, obviously Buster: Well, she wouldn't, she doesn't believe that's what she did Ava: I don't think she admits to doing much wrong Ava: unless her wrong also affected her Ava: like having the kids, she'll say what a regret that was all day, like Buster: Fuck knows what she's done to him and them that neither she nor James are saying Ava: I know Buster: It's his normal, fucking hell, he only got with girls at parties before she got her claws in, he never even had a proper girlfriend Ava: It's scary how easy it would be to hurt him Ava: and how much I don't ever wanna do that Buster: You ain't like that, he'll know that it'd never been intentional Ava: What if I'm not mature enough like you all said Buster: Shut up Buster: Like you said, some things are easy to throw out in an argument Ava: When you first had Saint Ava: were you scared? Buster: 'Course I was Buster: I'm still scared now Ava: All the time? Buster: It never gets any easier, I'll probably be shit scared until the day I die Ava: Why did you wanna do it? Buster: Ego Ava: Really or are you just making me feel bad for being mean again? Buster: Obviously I knew I'd have beautiful children and be the best father ever but that's just why I could Buster: It's not why I wanted to Ava: 🙄😂 Ava: Why then Buster: I've got so much love for her that there just had to be somewhere else to put it Ava: Kinda wish I hadn't asked now, nerd 💙 Buster: I know it's dangerous loving someone that much Buster: Which is why if she divorces me I'm fucked Ava: The higher the stakes the better the reward, yeah Buster: I've never lived any other way, kid Ava: 😏 don't call me kid Buster: You'll miss it when I'm 6 feet under Ava: stop being morbid Ava: and don't buy yourself any more bottles Buster: I'm not fucking promising you that Buster: Especially if I've got 6 years worth of wetting a baby's head to do Ava: I'll tell granda to cut you off Ava: try me Buster: You might be our parents favourite but I'm his, try it Ava: he's a landlord, he recognizes drowning your sorrows from a mile-off Ava: not gonna let you 😭 all over his bar with the rest of the punters is he Buster: Yeah, he knows how hard the fuckers are to drown as a barman and as a relative he knows when to leave me the fuck alone Ava: Just don't kill yourself before you give her a chance to do it herself, alright? Ava: Owe her that Buster: I've always given her everything she wants, it'd be too late to stop now, even if I wanted to Ava: I'm relying on it Buster: You can Ava: Do you reckon mum or dad have ever cheated on each other Buster: If dad had he'd be dead Buster: And I don't think mum has any interest in any other people Ava: Sounds about right Buster: Much as I'd love to find out Nance ain't really my twin Ava: just littermates Ava: she looks too much like dad's side so who knows who your father is Buster: Shut up Ava: 😂 Ava: you ever wonder what he looked like Ava: or would look like Buster: Not any more Ava: no? Buster: Since I had Saint, I can't think about him Ava: Oh Ava: I see that Buster: I don't know how the fuck they're still standing sometimes Ava: Had you two to chase after, I guess Buster: Yeah Buster: They were so fucking terrified something would happen to you, I could feel it Ava: then it did Ava: whoops Buster: That's probably why, her stress levels must have been through the roof Ava: Probably Ava: she is very small, you're not fitting a giant baby in there Buster: I don't even know how much Jay weighed, I can't bring myself to click that post Ava: I didn't know you used to call James Jay Ava: that's fucked up, isn't it Buster: I started it and everyone else followed suit Ava: 'course Ava: then she stole it Buster: I thought he did it, but of course she'd stoop that fucking low, like Ava: just to make him really think she was his, I guess Buster: Have you met her? Ava: No Ava: She tried to talk to me once online but now I'm blocked 💔 Buster: Have you met the kids? Ava: Yeah Ava: a few times now Buster: What's she like? Ava: She's a tomboy, which Chloe hated, of course Ava: and she likes animals, we've walked Frank together Ava: she's that kind of blunt funny kids are at that age Buster: Does she like you? Ava: I don't know, I don't think she dislikes me Ava: I was trying not to step on any toes, obviously Ava: take it slow Buster: I'm not an idiot Ava: Me either, like Ava: I've seen the baby more, obviously Ava: can keep a secret, when it was Buster: Is that one definitely his? Ava: She never said she wasn't, but he did a test too so definitely, yeah Ava: he was going to leave her so, you know the drill 👶 Buster: I wonder how the fuck she did that one now he's sober Ava: a relapse Ava: which she induced, not that you're meant to blame anyone but the person under usual circumstances but this ain't so Buster: I know better than anyone what she's like, without putting a Team James T-shirt on Buster: We all know who's fault it was Ava: there's reasons they ain't surrounded by kids, like Ava: thank God Buster: Jesus, I'd never be sober if I had to live with her Ava: I told you he wasn't weak-willed Buster: Alright Buster: I wasn't at my most level-headed when I said that Ava: Have you ever been? 🤔 Buster: Fuck off Buster: It's genetic Ava: Mhmm 👌 Buster: Chlo said Jay was a nightmare Ava: I think she acted like they both crawled up from hell but Ava: James did say she has a temper, but given how Chloe treated her, that's to be expected Buster: I said that as her daughter what else did she have a hope in hell of being Ava: Fair, bringing up someone's kids is usually a dead cert way to escalate an argument Ava: you were just trying to hurt her Ava: but what apparently hurts her and what has 0 effect defies logic Ava: possible sociopath but I'm not a Doctor either Buster: Definite sociopath and I don't need to be a doctor to call it Ava: Allowed Buster: I've got loads of the traits so Ava: 😏 weird flex but okay Buster: You're my little sister I ain't gotta try to impress you, I just do Ava: It was better when you used to try and do trick shots ⚽ Ava: the windows disagree Buster: I can still do 'em Ava: I should hope so, you're not exactly old yet Ava: you could still play for another 10 years maybe before they put you out to pasture Buster: Cheers Ava: just don't make like auntie Ali and have as many Ava: you will be knackered by the time the last one can kick a ball Buster: We did say we wanted 11 Ava: 😑 Don't Ava: I won't be learning their names Buster: That was before we had 1, don't worry about it Ava: 👍 boy Ava: I wonder who will have one next Buster: It better not be you Ava: Behave Buster: I'll kill him if he don't Ava: I highly doubt he'll ever want kids again Buster: Mum and dad didn't want me but here I am Ava: Well you're persistent Buster: No kids from you until I retire from football at least Ava: I don't want you to get the idea you can police my womb Ava: but I've got no intention of having 1 or 11 tah Buster: You don't want any? Ava: I don't know, that's such a weird question to ask Buster: Why? Ava: because I'm 17 and you're my brother? Buster: Well I'm not saying now, am I? In fact I'm implicitly not saying that Ava: I feel like you're asking if I wanna freeze my eggs or something Ava: I don't reckon we need to be concerned about their deterioration yet, like Buster: It's been a weird day, I'm just Ava: Trying to think about anything but Ava: I know Buster: I'm sorry if this fucks with you and him Ava: it won't Ava: we've already had that discussion Ava: so don't worry Buster: I wasn't trying to put you in the middle before I was just panicking Ava: I know Ava: same Ava: it'll be alright, I think Ava: just to spite her if fuck all else Buster: I told you, I'll make it alright whatever it takes Ava: Yeah Ava: me too Ava: I hope if Nancy has kids she has a boy Ava: that'd be a laugh Buster: She won't Ava: though she might dress it up as a girl then we'll have a serial killer in the family and mum and dad will have to just 💀 Buster: It's a miracle we ain't had one yet, if by miracle I mean Joe trying to kill himself instead of everyone else Ava: 😬 Ava: She might've Ava: but idk if we're talking 4 in relatively quick succession Buster: To bring us back to the original point, Nance is too shit scared of babies, she wouldn't hold you until you could support your own head Ava: I was freaky looking Ava: not fat and cute Buster: Me too Ava: Imagine how disappointed they were bringing you home Ava: like these ugly children we've got to raise Ava: gutted Buster: Why do you think I've had to work so hard every day since? Ava: I feel like I'm living two lives sometimes Ava: double expectations Buster: I've done it, it's really fucking fun, ain't it? Ava: You know Ava: but then I remember what a miracle I am and everything is 😎 Buster: Yeah Ava: [James' number] Ava: There you go Buster: Cheers Buster: I better go call him Ava: Be nice or I'll rip your head off Buster: I'm not a fucking amateur, like Buster: Just 'cause I've never had this particular convo don't mean I'll lose all my conversational skills Ava: 👀 you Ava: and I am at his rn so if you start shouting, I'll probably 👂 and all Buster: Calm down Ava: Go on Buster: Yeah, I'm going, don't start shouting at me Buster: Your boyfriend'll hear you Ava: I would NEVER Buster: It wouldn't be a very cool girl thing to do Ava: Shut up Buster: You shut up, I'm on the phone

[artificialqueens]

First Day Of My Life (Trixya) - Sinatra

A/N: Songfic, titled and based around the song First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes. I use Brian for Trixie and Katya for Katya to keep from confusion. Pronouns change from whether they're in drag, but mostly it is either mentioned/implied, or isn't very important. Also, sorry if the formatting or spaces are a bit screwed, I'm not used to submitting on Tumblr mobile or on Tumblr at all. Enjoy!

This is the first day of my life,

Swear I was born right in the doorway.

Trixie remembers sauntering through those bright doors, insecure and making a faux-play at confidence all the while. Seeing that face, just for the first time. Nothing was brought on that first encounter, besides the fact that Katya, that was her name, made her feel so much more insecure due to her beauty.

I went out in the rain and then everything

changed,

They're spreading blankets on the beach.

Elimination was something that was inevitable, that was something Trixie learned much too early on. But there was always a sense of security in it; If she was going to make a fool of herself for national television, might as well make them feel as if her time was due. There's no comfort in a second, or sorry, 10th, place. But keeping up a false hope always seemed corny to her.

Yours was the first face that I saw,

I think I was blind before I met you.

In the midst of the controlled chaos, Brian saw far too much when he wasn't in the outfit that helped him shut it out. It started with jokes only they would laugh at in the workroom, vents and stresses. And then before he knew it, he packed his things and left. As Trixie was approaching the back of the main stage, ready to make the final impression, her eyes caught to Katya's. Only a shocked face was caked behind all the makeup, and Trixie couldn't blame her. There really were no hard feelings in it. It's all fine for now, no more stresses, no more vents, no more inside jokes. Dedragged the next day, Brian was emotionally empty, and he didnt know why. There were no bright white smiles in his life anymore, he guessed, and that would stay for a while. But a number placed in his makeup bag changed that; He'd just have to wait a little longer.

I don't know where I am, I don't know

where I've been,

But I,

Know where I want to go.

As the airing started, he was booked to the fucking max.

Booked to where he couldn't find a single empty space in his calendar.

And as much as it was comforting, it was draining, and he knew who to call just for that. So he did, a lot, almost every other day. Instead of waking up with headaches and sore feet and back, he got up, motivated, knowing at the end of all of this he'd get that call from Katya, who was coincidentally also Brian, (they had a good laugh at that). It ended his bad days, long shows and meet and greets with a smile, even if he was gross and made crude jokes just to get a laugh out of him at night.

And so I thought I'd let you know,

That these things take forever,

I especially am slow.

It was when he was staying with Katya, a few years after they had met. Best friends, beyond best. It's humorous looking back, seeing how frank and bold the situation, or Katya, was. It was a simple ask to fuck, and though Brian was tempted in the most disgusting way, he couldn't let what they have sink over an impulse. Laughs and no's, they carried on until the next encounters that got weird, and Brian just wanted to keep things in control. Thats just how he was.

But I realized that I need you,

and I wondered if I could

come home.

It was a bad night. Everyone had them, no one wants them, and no one wants to go through them alone. Grabby people, shouts of drunken people. It got to the point where he got heckled, fucking heckled on the street when he wasn't fully dedragged and he decided to just walk the small way home after changing his wig and heels. Random people threatening, chasing, him running, locking the door two times over and sitting on the couch with the only available weapon next to him. He was shaking violently, and the only person he wanted to call had no hope of response. But he called anyway, letting the rhythmic dial tones almost calm him until he heard a pause and a, "Hey, whats up?" amongst booming club music somewhere in the background. Explaining the situation was the last thing he wanted to do as it was fresh, but when Katya heard the shakiness in his voice, and the almost-crying panic, he had to.

And Katya helped.

So much.

I remember the time you drove all night,

Just to meet me in the morning.

And I thought it was strange, you said

everything changed.

You felt as if you just woke up.

It was no place any friend wanted to be in when your friend said they'd drive hours to your stupid apartment just to make sure you're okay. It's the ultimate guilt, ultimate "I'm okay, I swear. If you come up here I swear to god..". But if Brian was convinced Katya didn't have a followthrough with something, he wasn't now. Hours later, still wired with panic, his head shot up to a jingle of the front door trying to be opened, and then a knock. He couldn't feel his god damn skin he was so freaked out. But he knew the outcome of opening the door wouldn't be dangerous mere moments later when he remembered their conversation. With a shaky step, he unlocked his door, and opened. There stood Katya, with still a small fading black liner around his eyes. His grin shone brighter than the rising sun in his living room after no sleep.

"Thank you." He said, after Katya let himself in and promptly wrapped his arms around the taller man in a gentle hug. He couldn't not cry. He was dramatic, and even if there was no harm, his night- no, day, became so much better then.

And you said,

"This is the first day of my life,

I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.

But now I don't care, I could go anywhere

with you,

And I'd probably be happy."

Years pass after their encounters and soothing patterns on Brian's back just to get him to fall asleep. They're successful, and together so often Brian's feelings have almost stopped bubbling at the edge before they spill. There's always the reassurance, for both of them, that they're there for eachother no matter what. Being on tour together was another odd component of closeness, because unlike being near acquaintances, it didn't feel as if Brian was being suffocated or he was wearing thin with the constant interaction. It was easy, almost too easy to be with Katya.

So if you wanna be with me,

with these things there's no telling,

we just have to wait and see.

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck,

Than waiting to win the lottery.

"You do know we have separate rooms right.." Brian said with a light laugh afterwards. Katya was sprawled out horizontally on his bed, with Brian on his phone watching as Katya did the same and hummed to himself. He laughed and nodded, looking over to the other man. "It's no fun. And I'd be texting you from the other room anyway." Brian simply sighed, not out of annoyance or a need to be alone, just to fill the air because he was right. "Well can you at least sit on my bed like a normal person?... And not perform gymnastics for your Instagram stories?" Brian laughed harder as Katya's leg came up and peeked behind his head on the screen of his phone as he filmed. "Mama, this is a deep stretch rou-TINE!" As the laughter died down Katya let out a, "Y'know what, yeah." and got up to crawl over next to Brian in his bed. Brian smiled and rested his head on Katya's shoulder, just appreciating his company even if he's had an abundance of it over these months. He saw Katya position his camera to take a selfie of them both and Brian just laughed at the sheer cheesiness of it. Katya sported a grin next to the meek smiling Brian, and he captioned the story, '3 year anniversary with my beloved wife! Honeymoon bound.' along with the location of the major city they were in. Brian laughed, "Please send that to me."

Moments later, they were in a comfortable silence, and within minutes they were just cuddling together as Brian watched what Katya was doing on his phone out of sheer boredom. "I love you." Brian said as almost a small nothing now, and Katya smiled and said, "I know." Brian knew the response he'd give, and he was satisfied. "Cunt." He giggled, letting them both ease into a fit of laughs, with Katya looking at him earnestly only centimeters away. It always got to him how good Katya looked out of drag, made him almost as insecure as when he saw him in drag in the workroom the first day he saw his face. There didn't need to be any non-drag kisses to solidify whatever this was, which was a bit sad on his part, but his feelings were so strong sometimes he gets blinded. There truly was no appropriate way to show his appreciation. So there they were, staring mindlessly at eachother with a hint of a smile on both of their faces. "Can I kiss you?" Katya said as he always did. Brian of course chuckled and nodded, and it happened sincerely. Not heated, not masked. Eyes just slipped shut gently, just as gentle as the kiss. It was long, and it didn't change. Maybe the emotion he put in it will do for now, because he couldn't imagine finding words after they pulled apart. And he couldn't find any words. Just a strong tugging at his heart, not so much bitter as it was dying to be heard. But he didn't allow anything to become of it as he put his face back into the crook of Katya's neck and exhaled, closing his eyes and letting the sleep approach him slowly, and then all at once.

Besides, maybe this time is different

I mean, I really think you like me.

[honestsycrets]

Red Little Shoes III

Masterlist

Warnings

Smut

Dub!Con

Gif credits: bonniebirdsgifcentre

A few days later, your phone was trilling along the hard wood of your desk. It prattles against the desktop, reverberating and though you hadn’t flipped it over, you knew who it would be. Ivar wouldn’t be off until at least six in the evening which meant this was…

Sigurd Lothbrok.

You glared at the photo of him in the cutest of floral crowns, budding with white and gold flowers. Christ you thought, you weren’t sure why you hadn’t done like other women. Put a sassy, bitchy name on his contact or even delete the number that was burned into your brain.

Zzz, zzz…

The first call hung up. Less than ten minutes later, another began to trill. At least once a day, he began to bother you since your final recital. You didn’t blame Ivar. He faced pressure from all sides to supply Sigurd with him with a way back into his wife’s life. After all, the white stack of divorce papers sat there on your desk. They were still crisp as they were the first day you filled them out. But they were married to the white wood of your desk.

Zzz… zzz… zzz… You were so going to regret this.

“Hello?” You pluck up your phone, bringing the cherry red case to your ear.

“Can I come over?” His voice-- shuddering.

“You don’t even know where I live. We should keep it that way.” You mumble, finding he would grunt.

“Considering you’re having a baby with Ivar, it might be important.” He remarks. A side sweep of his tongue leaves you without words. He must have overheard. You release another long sigh with a nod of your head. Fine, you had said. You gave him the directions to your new rental home and when the knock of the door came, you found yourself cursing yourself for letting him know where you lived. You open the door and stand aside, forcing yourself to ignore his adorable crazy mop of hair that was cropped short to the side of his face. Before with his braids-- you had threatened him with a straightener. Even now, he just had the wild boy hair.  

“How did you find out?” You say as you close the door.

“I overheard.” He explains, dropping his briefcase of sheet music and other knick knacks on your posh wooden floor. “What are you thinking? There are millions of men out there. Ivar? He is crazy.”

You heard this song and dance before. You had been crazy this time, however, because you had taken his sperm.

“It has nothing to do with you anymore, Sigurd. I trust Ivar.” You lean against the cream coloured walls of your home, glaring at the persistent click of a silvery clock.

“He could never be a good father.” Sigurd snaps. All too suddenly, you snap too.

“Ivar actually wants to be a father. He is giving me a baby without conditions. I’ll allow him around. What did you ever have to offer me but lies?” You turn your hands up, leaning out towards him when Sigurd groans. Of course, he couldn’t escape this.

“That was not all of our relationship.” Sigurd’s arms fold one over another.

Maybe so. Maybe one of those very pictures of the day he proposed still sat on your coffee table, unable to tuck it away. Maybe you kept a summer solstice photo in your wallet as well, when he took you to celebrate with others who shared your common belief. But those days were done. It was easy to latch onto those things because they were without hard feelings.

“Who would you have give me children, Sigurd?” You supply, pushing off the wall. You pass through your foyer and through the living room to your kitchen. You would hold the island’s granite countertop as you look for wine.

“Someone that isn’t psychotic.” He supplies as you pour him a glass and hand it to him. “They have sperm banks.”

“A designer baby?” You laugh, bringing your own glass to your plump lips. “Ivar has everything I want. Beautiful blue eyes and a killer smile.”

Sigurd stands quiet, throwing his drink back down his throat quicker than he intended. You lean over the island in one of those cute white spaggheti strap tops-- but he quickly notices your bra is sunshine yellow today, distracting him somewhat off his rage.

“Eyes up here, snake eyes.” You snap at him.

Sigurd stops. “You look beautiful.” He murmurs.

“So now you’re here for sex, Sigurd?” You grumble, much more grouchily than your usual, he makes a note of. That makes you stop at least, shaking your head as you set down your drink with a sharp crack.

“It’s the ovulation inducers they had me on before they injected me. I feel like shit, I’m bloated and my tits hurt.” You grumble about a headache-- but he’s stopped listening. He knows Ivar’s seed is swimming in your uterus, but he doesn’t care.

“You haven’t had sex in a while, have you?” He remarks.

“Why?” You say with your hands finding your hips.

“It is like when you’re hungry-- you get to be a bitch.” He teases as gently as he can and despite your growl at him not to call you that, you know he’s right. You’ve been aching to go out and have sex. But the whole act of having to dress up, drink, find a man, seduce the man and not even know if he would be a good fuck?

Exhausting.

“Shut up Sigurd…” You mumble, pushing your drink away. Slowly, Sigurd treds around the table as if to innocently approach you. You know better, but you can’t convince yourself to move when his arms encircle your waist. You’ve felt disgusting for months and as his jeans scratch against a black little skirt from your long day out, you can’t deny the urge to lean back against him. His cock has swelled to life under those pesky slender jeans.

“I don’t think you really want me to. Aren’t you lonely?” Sigurd suggests in your ear. Sure, you could call Ivar and ask him to fuck you into your mattress. But you hadn’t-- and Sigurd thinks there is a reason for that when his hands cup your hips, grinding his cock against the shortness of your dress. You lean forward over the island, trying just so hard to will away the excitement that moistens your cunt. Sigurd melds his body over your back, muscles melding against yours. You shudder-- knowing that his mop of blonde hair is what is tickling your nape.

“I know you are.” He whispers, beginning yo pull away altogether when your hand shoots out to his wrist, yanking him back.

“Just once.” You murmur in a low whisper, as if Ivar could hear you. “Do you have a condom?”

“Of course I have a condom.” Sigurd leans back, unbuckling his pants and sliding his wallet out from his back pocket. There’s a shuffling of plastic behind you before Sigurd’s tip is pushing in, filling your wet walls full of his cock. The condom feels as bizarre as it usually does deep within you, but the affectionate kissing against your neck rivals the pleasure from his fingers sliding between your legs to rub along your lips as he presses himself in completely.

“Did you miss it?” He husks out in your ear, withdrawing his hips agonizingly slow. He would thrust back in forcefully, a sole thrust filling you up completely. It had only been a year, but it felt so long since he had stretched your walls on his cock and filled you whole like this. With no answer, Sigurd’s rocking hips still.

“Tell me or I’ll take it from you.” Sigurd hisses in your ears, beginning to pull out when you grasp his slender hand massaging your outer lips.

“Please don’t.” You say with cheeks hot in embarrassment. “Of course… I… I want it.” You murmur, gasping when he chuckles, driving himself in with a stutter of his hips.

“Then beg for it like you mean it!” Sigurd teases you with an achingly slow drive forward and back, enough to tease you into the true pleasure he could give you. Like no other man could, not even Ivar, you were sure. If he could, it would be his fat cock you would be bouncing on.

“Please, fuck me Sigurd!” You shriek with a swallow of the pride that said-- fuck Sigurd Lothbrok. Fuck him because you didn’t need him. But you did, fuck you needed him to pound you into a mess against this island and leave you used. “Please, please Sigurd please!”

Not sparing another second of those achingly slow thrusts, Sigurd forced himself deep within your body, ramming thrust after thrust in just the right way. Your body felt hot with embarassment, knowing that just a few hours ago you were injected with Ivar’s spunk, and here you were, gripping and milking Sigurd’s cock. You couldn’t tell Ivar. You could only imagine how he might throw his hands up in irritation and--

“You don’t think of anyone else.” Sigurd shoved your neck forward to the granite tabletop. Your cheek would rub rawly against the granite. His hand shifted around to your front, finding your clit like a map that was cemented in his memory. He curled his fingers against it how he knew you liked and in seconds, you were a moaning mess. Your body ached to take more of his thrusts, but there was only so much you could take.

“Mmmm, Sigurd!” Thoughts whizzing, cunt pulsing Sigurd found your weakness when he gasped out your name in return into your ear in husky puffs. Sigurd’s eyebrows forced together when he felt it. Your velvety walls contracting around him as if they were tugging him off in completion. He knows that you’ve hit that peak-- if not from that, your wonderful screams that finish him off completely. His hips buckle, seed spilling into the condom that gripped him so tightly. Sigurd pants above you, forcing air into his lungs as he slows down a few remaining thrusts then pulls out altogether. Liquid remorse spills through you as you catch your breath feeling almost dirty-- sticky. Almost as if something was seeping out. Impossible, because Sigurd wouldn’t and you’ve never had a man do that to you anyway. He didn’t want babies.. The only other explanation was how much lube he must have used.

“Too much lube or… maybe its me, Sigurd. I’m going to go shower, you can text me.” You murmur while he tucks himself away, the condom disposed in the trash. He walks back to the foyer, picking up his bag. You hold the door open for him this time, and as he gives you a kiss to the cheek, you notice a trace smile beaming on his lips.

Of course, you chalk it up to being laid… but Sigurd knows far better than that.

@igetcarriedawaywithyou, @kylobien, @titty-teetee, @breathlessouls, @nejijjeoroo, @bcat1291, @readsalot73, @mslothbrok (no mix), @romanchronicles, @ateliefloresdaprimavera, @ailucascen, @michaeliskindahot, @concretewaywardangel, @naaladareia, @cbouvier23, @the-geeky-engineer, @dorned, @lisinfleur, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @tephi101, @akamaiden, @kirah34, @ethereallysimple, @venusloviing, @happylittlepuppydog, @beyond-the-ashes, @slutforrpg, @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns  @float-autumn-leave, @huntingbears, @lisinfleur, @AzmentineDaWinters, @looneytunes20033,  @jtrstp, @rabeccablake,

[baradorable]

My opinions on the current anime season. I’ll go over come popular shows and try to warm you up to some hidden gems.

Attack on Titan (Season 4)

I ended up liking this show a lot more than I thought I would. I ended up binging the first three seasons in like a week. Now I’m impatiently waiting for more episodes.

I will say that I’m kind of mixed on this one, though. Like I know they want to flesh out the country of Marley, make the war less one-sided and establish how villainous Eren is later, or whatever. I preferred it when the characters were fighting the enigmatic, monstrous force of titans. The political drama was like the least interesting parts of season 3. (That, and Eren being kidnapped for the millionth time.) Regardless, I’m still liking what we have so far, and there’s only one thing that makes me hesitate.

Gabi Braun. Fucking Gabi Braun. She’s so fucking obnoxious. She’s like Eren, except without the character traits that made him interesting. We have less reason to care about her, and her story is mostly just a retread of Eren’s. And I’d tolerate that if she wasn’t such an obnoxious cunt all the damn time. “But euuhughhg Gabi is a kid and she’s brainwashed! She’s actually really well-written!” Yeah, but she’s still an annoying little shit and less sympathetic than the other Marleyans we’re focusing on. She shouldn’t be the main focus character.

“Did you see it happen?” BITCH. There’s being brainwashed and there’s being a fucking moron. And don’t give me that “Well, in real life, brainwa-” Yeah, I don’t care. She’s not real. The only thing real about her is the headache she gives me.

So she’s this unlikable kid who came in and killed a fan-favorite character. I loved Sasha. Everyone did. But I’ll live. (Unlike her.) But she just HAD to be killed by fucking Garbage Braun of all people. Honestly, if Falco killed Sasha, I’d get over it. He’s a way better character than Gabi. I could go on and on about how he works better on a fundamental level, but none of you are even reading this post in the first place. So whatever.

8/10

Beastars (Season 2)

It’s good. I don’t like it as much as season 1, but I’m enjoying it a lot. It’s not a show I actively wait for, but it’s always pleasant to see.

7.5/10

Cells at Work!! Code Black

I never saw the original Cells at Work, but this show makes me not want to. Because I don’t think it would be as good as Code Black.

For those who haven’t seen it, Cells at Work is basically about humanized cells working in a body. You follow a red blood cell as they deliver oxygen, and you encounter all sorts of issues and quirks you see in a body. From sicknesses, to infections, to even cancer, you actually learn a lot. It’s genuine edutainment.

Black is set in a body that’s incredibly unhealthy. The characters are scrambling to survive and keep a failing body going. There’s this growing sense of dread each episode as the body grows worse and worse. You get frustrated because these characters don’t deserve the Hell they go through, and you just want to shout at the human to eat healthy, quit smoking and shape up. Because you care about the cells and want them to have a better work environment.

It’s really fun and makes me feel guilty for my unhealthy habits.  

7.5/10. Maybe 8/10 if these last few episodes keep up the momentum.

Dr. Stone

I really liked season 1, and I’m liking this season so far as well. I prefer the set-up and use of tech in season 1, season 2 is kind of moving too fast with tech while the story is a little slow. But despite all that, this show is still great and is on track to becoming a classic. If it weren’t for Attack on Titan, it would be Anime of the Season for me.

8/10

Jobless Reincarnation: 

A 40-year-old NEET gets isekai’d into the body of a baby. You watch this child with an adult mind grow up and learn about this magical fantasy world. It’s pretty good, I like it. It has good humor, nice characters, interesting lore, and a fun magic system. 

If you ever watched Isekai Cheat Magician? (Of course you didn’t. No one did.) This is what Isekai Cheat Magician wishes it could be.

I give this show a 7/10. It loses points because it made me think of Isekai Cheat Magician just now.

Ex-Arm

No words. Except four words: Go watch this show.

Oh boy. This show is. This show is a doozy. If I had to explain, I would say it’s like... shit. Because it is shit. But it’s very entertaining shit.

The story and characters are cool, but unimportant. You just can’t get into them because the animation is the highlight of the story. It just blows every other aspect of the show out of the water.

What kind of animation are we talking about? If I had to describe it, it would be the visual equivalent of that girl on Tik Tok who made a video series where she plays a Jewish girl during the Holocaust. It’s like a present you would give your eyes, if you hated them and wanted them to die.

Some characters are 2D, but the rest are 3D. And not even good 3D, because this shit is worse than those bootleg mobile games with stolen assets that don’t fit together. They had to censor kisses because they couldn’t animate lips moving, and pushing their faces together would just make their models clip. One of the characters has a wide-eyed smile all the time, no matter the situation, because there’s like no animation for her expressions. This show makes the 3D Pokemon games look like fine art.

Another thing I’d like to mention is the opening song, if only because I can’t tell if it’s good or terrible. I genuinely can’t tell if I like it ironically, or unironically. Either way, it’s perfect for this show.

So yeah, I love this show. It’s such a fucking mess in the best way. It always brings a smile to my face. I just wish the story was bad, so I can have another level of awfulness to enjoy. This show never fails to make me smile. Anime of the fucking decade right here.

HELLO, HELLO/10

Kemono Jihen

It’s kind of like Inuyasha, except without the humans, Naraku has big boobs, the Shikon Jewel/life stones aren’t that important yet, Bakugo from My Hero Academia is on the cast, everyone is a 12-year-old with bad fashion sense, and it’s a lot more generic in premise and execution.

So, nothing like Inuyasha. Honestly it’s more like My Hero Academia in terms of vibes. I still enjoy it though. My favorite character is probably the little fox girl because I like her design. But I also like the little fox boy because I’m not entirely sure what game he’s playing, but I’m into it. 

6.7/10

Redo of Healer

It’s basically just rape hentai with a budget. Honestly, I appreciate the boldness of the show, if anything. (Aside from the fact that they don’t show any dick or vag. How cowardly.) The sex scenes are decent and frequent, so no complaints there. I’m not really into rape (been there, getting raped isn’t fun), but a true hentai connoisseur can still appreciate it.

Plot-wise, it’s neat. Making the main character a revenge-seeking rapist fighting even worse rapists is an interesting take. And there’s a lot of fun creativity in how he uses his powers, though I wish they explained them more. Like I get how he’s doing everything, but breaking it down would make them feel more intriguing. He’s also a broken self-insert power fantasy, but it’s nice seeing one that’s smart, evil and methodical. 

In execution, it’s a pretty generic story with generic settings and plots. The lead’s carrying the whole thing, though I can’t help but like the villains for being so over-the-top evil. If nothing else, the audacity and sex scenes make this show worth watching. Pretty entertaining.

Re: The harem. Setsuna is too young and innocent for my tastes, but I like her. The white-haired girl is cool, she’s my favorite even though she hasn’t really done anything yet. Freia’s meh, but I like the idea of her being a major cunt despite the memory wipe. 

I give this one five rapes out of ten. And if you like this show, I recommend reading that one Megg, Mogg & Owl comic where the characters become obsessed with rape-based puns.

Re:Zero (Season 2, second half)

I love this show. The first season was pretty good. The second half of season 2 was also pretty good, and the plot was shaping up to be great. But now we’re in the second half of season 2, and it’s meh. Which is really disappointing for such a great show.

Like, I get what they’re trying to do: they’re shaping up alliances, digging into the characters’ pasts, moving everyone forward, yadda yadda. But this arc is so slow now. It feels like we’ve seen nothing but flashbacks, characters standing around and talking, flashbacks, more talking, flashbacks. There’s so little action to break things up. The mystery and exploration from earlier episodes is gone, since we pretty much understand the important things. We’re just left waiting for the things they’ve been building up to, to finally happen. 

“AEUUGHG You’re Just an action anime fanboyyy, this is serious plot and excellent story!!” It’s endless exposition, flashbacks that go on way too long, and characters standing around and repeating the same points over and over. Compare how the story was delivered in the previous season. 

6/10

The Promised Neverland (Season 2)

Boy, did this show go off the rails in only a few episodes. What the fuck is even going on in this show anymore?

I ranted about this show on Twitter, but it pisses me off. Season 1 was a well-crafted, suspenseful show about these kids using their brains to unravel the mysteries around them, plan a daring escape from their captors and try to survive in a world of monsters. It was easily one of the best anime of 2019.

Season 2 skips about 80 chapters and off-screens tons of development. Like Norman fucking shows up in season 2, all fine and dandy with his own personal army of freaks. Also he lead his own escape, learned a ton of info AND found a way to auto-kill all their enemies, and we didn’t even get a flashback of any of this. Now Emma’s bitching about saving demons, even though they’re all assholes who probably wouldn’t change their ways even if they could. But she’s an iDeAlIsSTTT!!!!! But she was an idealist last season and had to learn how to compromise when faced with the reality of the situation? And the whole William Minerva plot, which was a major driving force in the last season, was handwaved away and unceremoniously dropped?

So yeah, I dropped it after episode 4 or 5. It’s not even fun to hate-watch I’d give it a 3/10 on its own, but it gets a -2/10 for ruining a great legacy.

Sk8

Free!, except they’re skating instead of swimming. It’s a well-animated show with an interesting premise: undergound gay skateboarding. The battles are fun, the characters (while cliche) are appealing, and it’s fun. And yeah. 

But I dropped this one because Langa is boring as a lead. Canadians, they don’t deserve representation. He’s a fine character besides that, but he’s gotten way too much screentime over the other protag, Reki. Reki was just pushed aside and the show quickly became about Langa. Which is sad, because I feel like this show would have benefitted from making them both stars. Especially since the characters’ friendship is a key selling point.

Ended up dropping this show. I read through later comments that they’re making a plot point about Reki falling behind, but even the fans are having their doubts that he’ll have a satisfactory story. And even if they make him a real protag again, the show’s been so imbalanced that I don’t think it’ll matter. Especially since we only have like 4 episodes left.

6/10

Yashahime

The sequel to Inuyasha, staring Sesshomaru and Rin’s twins, and Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter. Except 2/3rds of the main cast are dull, and most of the stories are blatant retreads of Inuyasha plots, starring retreads of Inuyasha characters.

Think I’m kidding? The first episode was about Mistress Three-Eyes (Mistress Centipede but with three eyes instead of two) coming to eat the character’s magic sacred jewels. Rainbow fucking pearls, what the hell is this shit plot. Fuck you.

“Euhrghhghgh but they’re just paying homage to the old show!” Nah, they’re fucking ripping it off every step of the way. 

The most frustrating thing about this show is how Moroha, Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, is such a great character. She has great dynamics with other characters because she’s so lively. She has the best traits of her parents, while still being unique on her own. Then you have Sesshomaru’s kids, who are just Kagome 2 and Tsundere. The latter has more depth than that, but she’s  not that great anyway.

Guess who’s the focal point of the series? The fucking Kagome knock-off, followed by the tsundere. Moroha is a minor character who is often forgotten by the plot, or reduced to a joke. The already-boring plots are exacerbated by them ignoring best girl to focus on 

And I’m not alone on this, too. Read all the anime forums, pirating websites, and pretty much anywhere talking about this show. Moroha is the most popular character, far and away. People like her way more than the twins. 

4/10

[johnny-depplyloveyou]

Johnny’s foreword for “In the Name of the Son: The Gerry Conlon Story”

Johnny with Joe Cashman, Terry O'Neill and Gerry Conlon in 1993

Upon Thinking of My Long-Lost Brother, Gerry …

20.8.17

I first met Gerry Conlon, by absolute chance, in the hallway of a talent agency in Los Angeles, somewhere around 1990, I believe. It was a rare occurrence for me to visit the place, which made the moment with Gerry all the more charmed.

I had pressed the button and was en route to my destination floor. Upon arriving, the doors opened. As I exited, I spooked a couple of guys to my left, who looked, as did I, sorely out of place. The guts of this heinous, monolithic terrarium of steel, glass and dubious “art”, sparsely shaming those ghastly “modern” walls, was not a typical setting for folk such as myself, or gents of this breed, who, in my personal and moderately professional estimation, were satisfactorily saturated and teetering along the same invisible ledge, as though they’d been out on the prowl, for an especially impressive stretch. Indeed, they looked just like the depraved, miscreant, unhinged maniacs I always tended to hang out with. One of them possessed the squinty scrutinising eyes of the streets, and was as skinny as a dried lizard. He also seemed to have been divined with a prevailing lack of residents in the tooth department. The questionable few choppers that had not been evicted, were lonely, jagged and rotting. His stringy, straight hair – greasy to his shoulders. This was Joey Cashman. A hilariously clever and quick-witted Irishman, from just outside Dublin. He was the manager of one of my favourite humans of all time, the infamously tattered genius of lyric and song, Shane MacGowan, from the Pogues. Joey was a lovely man, who held strong to those he loved. Devoted and solid. I would later survive many adventures with this man, and to this very day, I have been informed of Joey’s tragic and “sudden” demise, and miraculous resurrection, at least fourteen times. The other fella was from heavier stock. He laid a big, beautiful, slightly crazed Cheshire Cat smile on me, which showed that this man had at least met a dentist once in his life. But it was his eyes that got me. Eyes that simultaneously exuded wisdom and a childlike purity; a desire to live and love. There was no question that these powerful eyes had seen and experienced much. This was Gerry Conlon. He approached me and introduced himself and his mate Joey, with the exuberance of a man who held nothing back. He gave of himself freely. His eyes sparkled like ten thousand stars had just given birth to ten thousand more …

Gerry Conlon had first gotten my attention when he stomped out of the Old Bailey in London in October 1989, fists raised high and declared to the world that he was an innocent man who had spent fifteen years in jail. The authorities had tried to shove him out the back door, in order to avoid the inevitable media frenzy, but he had refused, instead imparting something along the lines of “Fuck you, I’m a free man, youse fuckin brought me in the back door, I’m going out the front!” My curiosity had then been further fired when I’d learnt that he’d witnessed his father, Giuseppe, another innocent man, die in a British prison. And now here he was, Gerry himself, stood right before me, in this, the most incongruous of places possible. Fortunately, to prevent matters from being overtly one-sided, he recognized me from something or other and lunch was duly arranged.

Gerry was altogether an articulate, personable, funny, self-deprecating and fierce humanitarian. He was an absolute gentleman, who possessed all the knowledge of law in the streets of Belfast. Chivalrous, loyal and highly sensitive to any injustice, no matter how large, or minute. If he loved you, you were blessed to be invited into his circle, where there existed no edits with him. Gerry said what he felt and meant what he said. He had no difficulty in getting his point across. Ever. He had grown so used to having his prison clique around him that those of us who spent significant amounts of time with him became a newfangled version of just that. He was a 100% trusted friend and brother, to the very end.

During lunch, he broached the subject of my playing him in the film that was to be produced about his life during his unfathomably unjust arrest and incarceration. More than touched at this profoundly personal invitation from this man, I was already on the deck wiping away tears (as was he), when he gave me the first details of his abduction and torture by the British authorities. During this, our first proper encounter, he spoke more of his experiences in prison. Despite the hardship that had been visited on him, I came away with the impression that here was a character whose passion for life had been in no way diminished. He was starving for it. As much as he could get ahold of.

Later, during the summer of 1991, I found myself fortunate enough to be invited on holiday with Gerry and his family. Despite being more of a grape man, the only flavours I recall from that trip are Black Bush, Jameson’s, Irish Coffee and of course, the Guinness. The Conlons were lovely people, one and all, but I had a special place in my heart for Gerry’s mother, Sarah, and his sister, Ann. These were sweet, strong and kind folk whose lives had been torn asunder and putting them back together wasn’t going to be easy. But, if my experiences with these wonderful people told me anything, it was that their humour remained perfectly intact. In fact, I specifically remember some sloppy conversation with both Gerry and I employing words and sentences that our mouths were shamefully unfit to speak, as our eyes began to see double. At some point Gerry decided that we must go to Dingle to see Fungie, the dolphin. Very important. Gerry had no need to convince me, of course I was going to say yes. Who wouldn’t want to go to a place called Dingle to see a dolphin named Fungie? Gerry proceeded to inform me that his cousin, David, would be coming down that night to Dublin from Belfast, and would drive us to Dingle in the morning. And indeed, as promised, later that evening, David appeared in the door of the bar, screaming, “Gerry, ya fucken cunt!” I turned to see a big, thick and angry-looking brute, with ginger hair and pincers for arms. We were introduced. I shook one of his metallic claws and looked him squarely in the eye. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said. He replied with what may have been an eleven-syllable fuck-off. I still don’t know. The man was utterly pickled. If worry was going to come into the picture it would have done so at exactly that moment. We sat down to have a drink. And drink we did. What seemed like an instant later, it was brought to our attention that we were fast approaching 8.30 a.m. It was time to go. Worry never seemed to enter the picture. We had merely forgotten to sleep. But, whilst not feeling all that bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, we remained determined to make our rendezvous with this mysterious dolphin called Fungie. Fungus. I felt like fungus. Gerry looked like fungus, and David was immune to fungus. Of course, I was chosen to ride in the front seat with David. His co-pilot, as it were. It is potentially the only time I have put a seatbelt on without hesitation. Or actually thought about one for that matter. But David, it turns out, was a fantastic driver. His claws were quite handy for storing pints of Guinness, but it didn’t matter, because his feet were steering. So, as I also clutched two pints of Guinness, similar to Gerry in the back seat, I thought that if we were to die, it would be the most interesting trio of obituaries. Anyways, we soldiered onward towards Dingle, but at some point there came the inevitable need to replenish our glasses. The next road sign informed us that Limerick, also known as Stab City, lay just ahead. We would find a pub, have a bite, and get back on our way with enough Guinness to carry us through to Dingle. Wrong. Our brief pitstop in Limerick proved to be one of the most chaotic nights that I can ever remember, and/or, kind of not remember. Suffice to say, we conquered Stab City. The three of us took over a pub, all in the name of Gerry Conlon. He was a hero to these people and it was a joy to bear witness. Courtesy of his devilish charm, he owned the place. It was a riotous celebration. The following morning, I awoke in an unfamiliar room, in what appeared to be an old hotel. Complete with red-eyes and full-on throbbing gristle somewhere within whatever had been spared of my brain, I somehow managed to contact Gerry in the adjoining room. “Where is the Lord Mayor of Limerick?” I asked, referring to David, who had been bestowed the honor the night previous. “He’s taking a shower” Gerry said, in a pained drawl. Apparently he woke up with some chick. He didn’t know where he was, let alone who she was. Gerry went on to tell me that David had said good morning and asked the girl very simply, “Did we fuck?” “I’m not sure,” came the reply from the sweet lady to the armless thalidomide, whose pincer claws had been hurled across the room. David thought for a moment, before calmly stating, “Well, we had better make sure …”

After picking myself up off the floor, we again made for Dingle, where we finally met Fungie. The three of us were in no state to do anything whatsoever, let alone get in a fucking boat with a bunch of tourists. I can recall us being looked down upon by our fellow shipmates, especially the children, for some reason. I felt dirty. But Gerry was as excited as an eight-year-old, as we clipped through the water watching out for the dolphin to occasionally rear a head and deign us with its glory on this most joyous of grey days that I can ever recall. Gerry always possessed the magical ability to ensure such miracles.

The pain of losing his father never left Gerry. He blamed himself for Giuseppe’s death and nothing I, or anyone else, could say to him would shift that blame. In quieter moments, he would tell me of his pain, of how troubled he was at having confessed to the Guildford pub bombing. In his mind, if he hadn’t confessed, his father might still be alive and the Maguire family, who were also wrongfully convicted of the pub bombings, would never have been sent to prison. He might have been dealt the torturous methods employed by the authorities to haul out the counterfeit admissions, but in his rush to self-condemnation, he set that aside. He could not forgive himself.

Gerry Conlon was a leader who became the central figure in the struggle to have the Birmingham Six released from prison, even addressing a Congressional Committee on the matter. Gerry was also an international human rights activist and he highlighted the harsh treatment meted out to the Australian aborigines and Native Americans. His activism didn’t stop there: he protested capital punishment wherever it reared its ugly head. For prisoners around the world, many of whom had been wrongfully convicted, Gerry Conlon was their only hope.

Yet, by his own admission, this man was a flawed character, as so many of us are. He often told reporters that he took drugs to ward off his demons. In 1998 he took the decision to go clean, but what followed was a six-year struggle, during which he repeatedly goaded himself to commit suicide. But he beat the monster; he got off his knees and he beat the monster.

This book is a tour de force, a warts-and-all depiction of the life of Gerry Conlon from the minute he walked out of the Old Bailey. Knowing him as I did, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. On every page, the colourful characters that inhabited Gerry’s life reach their hands out to the reader and invite them into a world rich in pathos, humour and irony. This is not a sad story. No, far from it. This is a chronicle of the triumph of the human spirit over extreme adversity. It is a story of hope. It is the story of a man I loved and would have taken a bullet for, as I know he would have done for me and all his loved ones. It was an honor to have known Gerry Conlon and to call him my friend.

Once we’d just left a bookstore in Dublin. Me with a handful of Brendan Behan’s books, and Gerry with a present – a beautifully handworked leather wallet, with one word etched onto it … “Saoirse”, meaning Freedom. It’s in my pocket as I write these words.

Johnny Depp Vancouver August 2017

[sserpente]

Condolescence (Chapter XV)

Pairing: Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive) x OFC Language: English Rating: M

Read it on AO3!

The tension between them was palpable, heated and almost hazardous.

Adam had played Tal his songs that night. He had led her back into the living room and had her sit down on the black couch before fumbling around with his old-fashioned recording devices. When he hit the play button, he was excited, his fingertips tingling coolly.

For some dubious reason, it was highly important for him that Tal liked what he had produced. He cared for her deeply and he wanted her to adore both his work and his being, in spite of not understanding how she could have grown so close to him in the short time she had been here.

The soft tunes of his music flooded her whole body. Each of her cells seemed to drown in the calming sounds that came out of the old speakers. He watched her close her eyes and let his songs consume her, her breathing so calm she looked like she had fallen asleep. Tal was wide awake though. She absorbed each song he played her ravishingly, then nuzzled into him as he sat down next her to pull her close.

He felt the urge to hug her and touch her constantly now. She was like his drug, his anchor that would keep him from getting lost in the ocean.

“Adam, I love it. Every second of it. Are you going to release it? Share it with the world?” She asked, her eyes wide.

The vampire smiled softly. “I’ve yet to find a new manager to do that for me. I want to get my music out there and make the planet a better place with it but I need to remain completely anonymous. I once had somebody who would take care of that for me. Ian.”

Tal frowned. “What happened?”

“He was killed by Eve’s sister. She was in town to visit and lost control, sucked him dry to the very last drop.” He could feel cold shivers running up and down her spine but he did not stop. She had to know about the danger he posed when he drank from her, needed to be aware of the risks. “I wish she had turned him.”

Her lips parted, though Adam could not tell whether it was awe or fear that became present on her face. “Turned him?”

“If he had died with vampire blood in his system, he would have turned.”

“How does vampire blood get into somebody’s system?”

He looked at her coolly, his voice calm as he explained. “By drinking it.”

“And… D-does it hurt? Becoming a vampire?”

Adam shook his head. “Like falling asleep and awakening as something new.” Something powerful and mighty. “They never tell you about the loneliness that comes with it though.”

The smile that she gave him almost scared him. “You’re not alone anymore. I’m with you now.”

And what did that mean? That she wasn’t going to leave anymore? That she was going to stay with him? Forever? No, he scolded himself. Not forever. Tal was human. Sooner or later, he would have to abandon her but until then… he would appreciate her presence.

“You are,” he replied, returning her smile almost shyly. Then, allowing her to lean forward, he cupped her face in his soft hands and looked her deeply in the eye. It was like he could see the universe in them. Her universe. Timidly, she brought her lips to his, closing the small gap there was left between them.

His mouth moved against hers passionately, capturing it in a heated kiss while his tongue glided over her lower lip to beg for entrance. Tal granted it, devotedly letting him battle her own tongue until she sank down on the couch, pulling the vampire with her and deepening the kiss until they both had to pull away out of breath.

No. He wanted more, he needed more. Knowing that his eyes would have changed its colour by now, he glared down at her greedily but oddly enough, it didn’t scare her away. Instead, Tal ran her hands through his black hair and crossed her fingers in his neck, urging him to kiss her again.

The vampire growled. In one swift movement, he lifted her up into his arms and walked her over to the bed, laying her down carefully before joining her. He was impatient when he straddled her, his long fingers trailing down her body and under the short-sleeved shirt she was wearing, hastily pulling it over her head. He needed his mouth on her body, not just to bite her but to taste her, kiss her everywhere he could reach.

She had no bra on, relinquished it to sleep more comfortably. He welcomed the fact with a groan as his eyes met with her rather small but round tits, her nipples, hardening from the sudden cold already, pink and inviting to suck on.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Adam mumbled, kissing down her neck gently until he reached her breasts. He could feel her squirming underneath him, for his hot breath on her skin was beyond any sensation she had ever felt. Was that it? Being with a vampire, would it be so pleasurable? Or was it just the fact it was Adam?

He hissed before taking one of her nipples into his mouth and starting to suck on it relentlessly, his tongue playing with the hard nub before circling her areola and then attending to her other breast. Tal arched her back, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on her body. She whimpered when he pulled away but was silenced when his lips came crashing down on hers again, kissing her so furiously this time she desperately gasped for air.

Her nails dug into his back when his mouth attacked her neck, carefully kissing around the bite mark before licking over it carefully. Perhaps she expected him to bite her again but despite his reawakening hunger, he held back, for now.

Much rather, he concentrated on her pants. He pampered her stomach with light kisses while unbuttoning them and then quickly tore it off her legs, tossing them out of the bed. She was laying there in only her panties now. They were black and so thin he could almost see through them as he hooked two fingers under the disturbing piece of fabric and removed it as well. Naked. She was fully naked and she was stunning.

It was brunette locks, framing a pink and swollen pussy that was offered to him as his gaze roamed over her body. Sheepishly, she pressed her legs together to deny his blue eyes access.

No, no, no, was she embarrassed? Tal was beautiful, everywhere.

“Don’t…” he mumbled, resting his hands on her knees to keep them apart and let his eyes fix on her womanly parts again, taking a proper look at her. He wanted it. He wanted her so badly it ached, for all he could think of was how sweet she would taste down there.

The vampire could tell she was aroused already. Her cunt was slick and moist with her juices, her pussy lips shimmering in the dim light of the room. He licked his lips in joyful anticipation, wasting no more time in going down on her. His canines were sharp and dangerous but he forced them back so they were grazing her skin only lightly when his tongue darted out to lick over her slit.

Tal gasped, her hands clenching at the bed sheets underneath her so hard her knuckles turned white. He looked up briefly to see her eyes closed and her head thrown back in bliss, then decided to taste her once more. It was like honey, so sweet as he drove his tongue inside her, then circled her clit and parted her pussy lips to have even more access to her womanhood.

A moan escaped her lips, her hips bucking up against his face. She grew wetter with every second he ravished her, sucking her clit in his mouth and torturing her until she was but a moaning and whining mess on his bed. Breathing heavily, she wrapped her legs around him and grabbed a fistful of his hair, forcing him to finish what he had started…

The feeling was overwhelming, his tongue working her so skilled she feared to faint from all the pleasure. She could feel his fangs pressing against her too, adding to her arousal. She was on the edge, ready to fall…

But then he pulled away, brushing her wet folds with his lips before kissing along the soft skin of her inner thigh.

“Adam…” Was it a plea? She did not know. Struggling unsatisfied, she felt her slick flesh throb with need and lust, the tight knot that had built in her stomach begging for release. If he kept touching her, anywhere… she was sure she would cum.

Adam let out an animalistic growl. Her scent was beyond delicious, beyond his ability to keep his composure. He stopped fighting the canines that pressed against his lower lips and instead sank them into the soft flesh of her inner thigh, rapaciously drinking the blood that sipped from the wound.

Tallulah screamed and arched her back furiously when a sharp pain spread on her leg, making him flinch, alarmed, but without removing his mouth from her thigh as waves of pleasure rolled over her body and had her see stars. Her orgasm hit her so hard she started thrashing in his tight grip, for he had dug his fingers into her hips to keep her still. It helped her to calm down. Never before had she felt something like this.

There was a constant light stinging where he had sunken his teeth into her flesh and sucked the blood out of her but mostly… it felt good, it felt so good! Only Adam was worried at first, letting go of control so completely. Had he hurt her? Surprised and scared her? It took him a second to realise that she had cum… she had cum from him… biting her? He hadn’t even… he had stopped touching her! How would she feel pleasure from… this, now, with the monster caged inside him on the loose?

He decided to ponder over it later. What mattered now was Tal. Her pleasure, her well-being, her body. God, he wanted her so badly! Not just her sweet blood, he wanted all of her. He wanted to be inside her and claim her, make her his forever.

His clothes were gone faster than she could blink, her eyes taking in all of his naked body. He looked like a Greek statue, his skin pale and flawless, his member, stiff and ready for her, big, proud… and beautiful. How was everything about him so beautiful?

Tal gasped once more as she brought her hands to his naked chest and ran her fingertips over his skin. He shivered, suppressing a moan.

There was a bit of precum on the pink tip of his cock already. He wouldn’t be able to last long, and she had already cum from him biting her down there. What if she could make him cum by just touching him in return?

He stopped her before she could reach his hard length though, positioning himself between her legs carefully. He ached for her small and petite hands to wrap around him and stroke him firmly, having him achieving his end only by her pampering him with gentle squeezes and maybe… her lips around his tip, her innocent beige eyes looking up at him… he would save this wish for another time. Right now, he needed to be inside her. He needed it now.

Adam snatched Tal’s hands to pin them down at the sides of her head, his fingers intertwining with hers as he slowly pressed his hard dick against her entrance, teasing them both for a moment before sliding in fully and easily because of her arousal, her tight walls welcoming him in an instant.

She clenched around him, embracing his erect penis as it rocked in and out of her, throbbing and pulsating. Yes, he wouldn’t be long but it felt so good, so good to be buried so deep inside her, knowing that it was him who elicited her blissful moans and whimpers, her soft voice whispering his name over and over again.

She was going to cum again. He could feel it, feel her tightening around his hard member when her beige eyes rolled to the back of her head. Panting, she bit her lower lip. It was seething within her, waiting to break out and toss her down an abyss. She looked gorgeous.

The vampire looked down briefly. Her juices had mixed with a trickle of blood on her thigh, staining both her wet folds, the bed sheets, his balls and even his rock-hard penis as he pounded into her hard, losing all composure there was.

The sight of her red life essence right where their bodies met was all it took for him to find his own release. He came with a loud growl when Tal clenched around him rhythmically, her muscles milking him and willingly taking the seed he shot into her, marking her as his with every rope of cum.

He was still thrusting into her lazily as they both came down from their high, recovering from the intense climax they had endured. Then, after what felt like hours, Adam finally came to a halt and pulled out, falling onto the bed right next to her. She cuddled up to him immediately, seeking body contact and protection.

Next thing he knew, she was sound asleep and for the first time in a long while, he truly felt content again.

➡️ Find all chapters on my masterlist!

[little-ball-of-fear]

Story of a boy

I have no idea why I’m posting it here. Pairnig: Prinxiety (Thomas Sanders Sides) Warnings: a lot of bad language, rape (mention), Anxiety behaving like teenage girl, probably bad English, kinda angst but happy ending Based on this song but I have changed the text a bit. Tagging @remmythepegasis ‘cause she’s probably the only person who will read it

„This is a story of a boy who cried a river and drowned my whole World.”

The four traits were watching “Hunchback of Notre Dame” when the scene of Quasimodo watching Esmeralda and Phoebus kissing has been interrupted by some quiet sobs.

“Are you crying?” Prince looked down at the boy sitting on the carpet next to his armchair. “Fuck you!” Anxiety groaned hiding his face with hood. “Ann, language!” Morality’s scream would probably sound more respectable if it wasn’t shaking because of his own cry. “And remember that it’s okay to cry, you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.” “I’m not ashamed, I’m just not crying!” he pulled strings of his hoodie closing it on his face, leaving just a small hole so he can see the screen. “Hey, it’s nothing bad.” Prince was whispering quiet so only Anxiety could hear him. He lied on the armchair so he could stroke his hand. “Everybody are moved by lost love scenes.” “Oh, shut up, Princey...” Anx mumbled but there was something in this mumble that made Roman smile. And despite dramatic plot, smile stayed on his face until the end of the movie just as his hand stayed on Anxiety’s.

“How many days in a year he woke up with hope but he only found tears. He thinks I’m so insincere making my promises never for real. He just keeps waiting here with holes in his soul and in his socks, not knowing what he really wants.”

“You shouldn’t walk like that, you’ll get cold.” Prince pointed at Anxiety’s toe picking out of a hole in his sock. They were both standing in the kitchen which floor was made of cold, grey tiles. “Wow, Princey, watch out or I’ll think that you care about me.” Anx rolled his eyes with a smirk and opened the fridge to get some energetic drink. “Why wouldn’t I? I do care.” Roman took the can from him and raised it above his head “And I also care about you drinking too much of this. How long were you sleeping tonight?” “What the Hell do you want?! You’ve turned into Morality or what?” Anxiety was trying to take his drink back. “I just care about you, is it that bad?” “Ow yeah, of course you care! Like always! Like everybody!” Prince was so confused that he lowered his hand. Ann immediately got the can off his hand and turned to walk away. “Whatever, forget it...” Princey wanted to shut out for him but left this idea when he heard steps on the stairs and slam of the door from upstairs.

“And the clothes that he wears looks well the next day. And his hair never falls in quite the same way.” And he never seems to run out of things to say.”

Prince woke up earlier than usual. Walking through the living room to the kitchen he heard some snoring from the couch. Anxiety was sleeping with his one hand hanging above the carpet and his one leg on the couch support. His cell phone was lying on the floor and Roman thought that he was probably scrolling Tumblr whole night again. He wanted to wake him up but instead he just stood next to him staring. How is it possible that even in this stupid position with his hair messed, his mouth open and clothes dirty, he still look so cute and good!? Prince couldn’t help but smile and he gently stroked his cheek. Anxiety opened his eyes suddenly.

“Your Princess is in another castle.” Sarcastic smile appeared on his face “Raping sleeping people works only in fairytales, Philip. “I didn’t rape you, are you crazy?!” “Me? I’m not the one who stare and touch sleeping people perversely.” “Perversely?! I barely touched your cheek!” “Everyone says that...” “You’re mad.” “And you’re pervert.” “It’s not me dreaming about rapes in my sleep, Captain Panic.” “Oh, so now it’s victim’s fault? You’re not only a pervert but a sadistic pervert!” “You’re fucking crazy. I swear on my sword that you’re fucking crazy.” “Keep your sword in your pants, retarded stallion.” “Who’s being pervert now?!” “Still you, idiot.” “Jerk.” “Crowned fool.” “Makeup freak.” “Cunt with prom queen sash.” “At least, I’d have a pair for prom and won’t go alone like you, asshole!” “Screw you, Princass Snotfucked!” “Don’t involve Disney in that, you emo...” “IF YOU DON’T STOP RIGHT NOW, YOU’LL BE EATING CARROTS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!” Morality’s yell meant that it’s the end of the argue (and also the end of television for those two for the next week)

“How many lovers would stay just to put up with this shit day after day? How is it possible that I’m still here and not mad at you?”

“Ann, please...” Prince was knocking at black door for a few minutes. “I know you’re in there. Morality’s asking, where you’ve been. They say “courage” and...” “I will let you in but shut up please.” Anxiety opened the door with irritated face and his makeup ruined by wetness. “Were you crying again?”Roman went into the room “Is that what you came for? To ask me about it?” Anx lied on his starry bedding and covered his face with a pillow. “To be honest... Yes.” He sat next to him “What’s with you lately? You’re really mean, especially for me.” “I am Anxiety. That’s just me. Don’t think you’re special of something.” The pillow has been threw back and shocked Anx was looking at Prince’s frowned eyebrows. “I do feel special. Especially hated. Can you tell me what’s going on? I’m trying my best for your good and you just keep being meaner and meaner to me.” “That’s just it. Why the Hell are you trying so hard? Why are you doing that whole show with “I do care about you” and “You’re important to me” bullshit...” “Why can’t you understand that it is not a show?! “Because it always is!” Anxiety sat straight and now they were looking angrily at each-other almost touching with their noses. “Everyone says that! Everyone says that they care and they are for me only but when I need them, they just disappear somehow. And even if I don’t want to, I keep killing all my feelings because I know how it will end. I always end up alone like fucking Quasimodo looking from the background at a lovely couple which all audience loves. My only destiny is to be alone or to have a shitty sequel which nobody will accept! “So just stop being Quasimodo. Just accept that you’re the only one who sees you that way. I see you as Esmeralda!” “I’m not sure if you’re trying to offend me or not...” “No, you dolt! I’m just trying to... Ugh, you suck in reading subtlety!” he catch his face in his hands, looked him imploringly and whispered. “Be my Esmeralda.”

And then he kissed him. And that kiss was full of beg, love, desire and all the feelings that Roman had to Anxiety. He pressed his lips so desperately as if he was dying and wanted to taste true love before death. He felt Anx’s tears on his palms and wanted to step back but he has been stopped by fists holding fabric of his shirt. Ann was kissing him too but his kiss was filled with fear, distrust and... hope. Hope that maybe this time he won’t be only lonely character in a tragedy movie.

“Be my Esmeralda.” Prince whispered again when the kiss ended. He leaned back at the wall holding Ann closely. “I’ll be your Phoebus.” “Are you kidding me?” he said it ironically but hugged him lying his head on Roman’s shoulder. “No! I’m deadly serious! I can even grow a beard for you! Or we can fight with candlesticks if you want.”

Anxiety laughed and Prince realised that it was the first time when he heard him laughing honestly. With no sarcasm, no irony, no malice. It was just honest and... happy. And even if he was deeply in love with Anxiety, he fell in love again in his smile.

“This is a story of a boy who cried a river and drowned my whole World. And while he looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love him when he smiles.”

[ismael37olson]

The World Has Gone Mad Today

Many of Cole Porter's lyrics are incredibly -- even savagely -- topical. The songs of Anything Goes reference the latest news, gossip, pop culture, and celebrity sightings of 1934, and yet in a way that's fully organic to the characters and story. There's no question Reno Sweeney and Billy Crocker would be making jokes about this stuff. From our vantage point today, close to a century later, we're apt to miss some of that wicked social satire, because so many of the original references are now obscure to us. So subsequent revivals have tinkered a lot with the lyrics to "You're the Top" and "Anything Goes," in particular, worried that contemporary audiences won't get all the original references (they won't), and as a result, exploring these lyrics sometimes requires a lot of digging. But this kind of research is so much fun. This show brilliantly captures some of America's craziest cultural impulses, most of which are very little different today from what they were in 1934. Anything Goes wasn't really telling a love story; it was telling the story of America awkwardly struggling with the huge social and technological changes that were transforming our nation from a rural culture to an urban one, and consequently a more diverse and socially liberal one; and from a social-status culture to one based on economic status. Though it was surely unintentional, I could argue that [Spoiler Alert] Reno marrying Evelyn is a clear metaphor for the way, for the first time in the 20s and 30s, Americans routinely combined "low culture" and "high culture." In fact that mashup essentially defines American musical comedy. Today, some frightened conservatives long to return to a mythical, nonexistent 1950s that's whiter, more Christian, and less complicated; and so too did folks in the 1930s fear the massive changes reshaping America. This show, its title, and its title song are all about that. Every version of the show starts the title song the same way.

Times have changed, And we've often rewound the clock, Since the Puritans got a shock, When they landed on Plymouth Rock. If today, Any shock they should try to stem, 'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them.

It's a double joke, built on the two meanings of land, and comically comparing the relative shocks of finding the New World, versus those same 17th-century pilgrims finding the wild nightlife of 1934 New York. Kinda sounds like a Bill & Ted sequel.

There's actually a lot going on here. The times do change and when they do, some people fear that change, and they react by trying to turn us back to an earlier era ("we've often rewound the clock"), a time perceived to be more innocent, more faithful, more moral. With Ronald Reagan and some of the conservative movement today, the 1960s so freaked them out, that ever since then they've been trying to turn American back to the 1950s. The same thing happened in the 1920s and 30s. It's telling that Porter invokes the Puritans -- the symbol of social ultra-conservatism -- as a comic measure of the wild times we find ourselves in "now." No, the Puritan's likely would not have been big fans of speakeasies or The Ziegfeld Follies... As the first verse of the song begins, we set up this comparison. Once upon a time, so long ago that the days are not just old, but "olden," America was really moral. Except that the use of the archaic "olden" (Porter originally used "former" in that spot), and the extremity of just a "glimpse" being shocking, gives the whole thing a layer of smartass irony. Who'd want to live in "olden days"...?

In olden days a glimpse of stocking Was looked on as something shocking, But now, God knows, Anything Goes.

Women's modesty was a big issue as skirts got shorter, arms got bared, and dresses got more form-fitting. The androgynous, body-disguising, chest-flattening fashions of the 20s were gone. Throughout history, there's always been this weird impulse to hide women's bodies for fear men can't control their sexual urges (this is what the final scene of Grease is about). It's only now that we're concluding it's the men who need to control themselves. I think we've become numb to the title phrase of this song. It's just too ubiquitous, too embedded in our culture. But think about that phrase -- anything goes, anything is okay, nothing is off limits, there are no rules, no norms, no constraints anymore.

Good authors too, who once knew better words, Now only use four letter words Writing prose, Anything Goes.

What was Porter talking about here?

James Joyce’s 1922 masterpiece Ulysses, was banned in England till 1930, and the United States Post Office reportedly burned any copies of the book they found. Finally, in 1933 (a year before Anything Goes opened), the case of Ulysses was re-opened, and the Supreme Court ruled that because the book was not "pornographic" it could not be banned or censored. D.H. Lawrence’s 1928 novel Lady Chatterly's Lover, about an aristocratic lady who has a sexual affair with her groundskeeper was also banned over its frank discussion of sex (and the importance of orgasm), and its frequent use of the words fuck and cunt. One U.S. Senator exclaimed, “I’ve not taken ten minutes on Lady Chatterley’s Lover, outside of looking at its opening pages. It is most damnable! It is written by a man with a diseased mind and a soul so black that he would obscure even the darkness of hell!” Erskine Caldwell's 1933 novel God's Little Acre was about a dysfunctional farming family in Georgia obsessed with sex and wealth. The novel's sexual themes were so controversial that the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice asked a New York state court to censor it. In 1934, Henry Miller's semi-autobiographical novel of his sexual escapades in Paris, Tropic of Cancer, with its frequent use of the word cunt, was banned in the United States shortly after its first publication in France. The ACLU tried to sue the U.S. government, but lost its case. Finally, when the novel was published in 1961, sixty obscenity cases were brought in twenty-one different states. Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Michael Musmanno wrote that Cancer is "not a book. It is a cesspool, an open sewer, a pit of putrefaction, a slimy gathering of all that is rotten in the debris of human depravity.” Porter wasn't kidding about four-letter words. This really was a sea change in popular literature. "Anything Goes" has three bridges, each with a different purpose. The first lists examples of "immoral" acts which lead, in the second bridge, to a general moral chaos, which leads, in the third bridge, to how crazy that chaos makes us all. It's an ironic jab at all the experts of the time warning about the dangers of Modernity. The song's first bridge lists a bunch of morally sketchy things that "you" (so interesting to put this in the second person!) might enjoy if you live a Fast Life, things which will no longer be off limits in our topsy-turvy culture...

If driving fast cars you like, If low bars you like, If old hymns you like, If bare limbs you like, If Mae West you like Or me undressed you like, Why, nobody will oppose. When every night, The set that's smart is Intruding In nudist parties In studios, Anything Goes.

Before we get to the content, let's look at the craft here. The bridge has seven lines and five of them start with "if," and six of them end with "you like" -- and in between an AABBCC rhyme scheme. That's some really skillful writing. Then we return to the verse, and of those six lines, three start with "in," and those same three lines all have an "-ood" in the middle of the line. But also "smart is" makes a kind of subliminal rhyme with "parties," and to top it all off, the last line of the bridge rhymes with the last two lines of the verse that follows it. In terms of content, much of this lyric references current events. In 1930, twelve states still did not have any speed limits; it was an automobile wild west. The "low bars" (i.e., speakeasies) of Prohibition were disappearing by the time Anything Goes opened, a year after the repeal of Prohibition. The reference is a joke on the two meanings of the word low. Here the word means disreputable, but also, literally lower in height. According to a 1946 Life magazine article, before Prohibition, bars were 46-47 inches high, but during and after Prohibition, so many more women were drinking that they lowered many bars to 43 inches.

The "old hymns" reference may be a joke about how many hymns were set to the music of drinking songs because those tunes were already popular. Why else would liking old hymns be subversive like the rest of the items in this list? Maybe the joke here is just that "you" like drinking in taverns, where they sing old hymns that have been converted into drinking songs. Of course, "bare limbs" were still pretty new in women's fashion and still considered shocking by some. Mae West was still a new movie star in 1934, but she already had been writing plays, starring in them, and getting arrested for her plays' "obscenity." After the Hollywood Production Code was established in 1933, West simply perfected the double entente, with famous lines like "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." Nudism / naturism spread throughout Europe in the 1920s and got to America in the 1930s, due in part to sociologist, political theorist, and liberal social critic Maurice Parmelee’s 1931 book Nudism in Modern Life. Also, "the set that's smart" refers to the phrase "The Smart Set," meaning the cultural elite, usually fashionable and wealthy. It was also the title of a literary magazine that published from 1900-1930. The song's second bridge is more general than the first, more a catalog of the fallout. Here, the world is just fucked up, backwards, upside-down, disorienting...

The world has gone mad today And good's bad today, And black's white today, And day's night today, And that gent today You gave a cent today Once had several chateaus. When folks who still can ride in jitneys Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys Lack baby clo'es, Anything goes.

No revival has used those last four lines because no one would understand them today. Jitneys were independent taxi cabs or small buses, so the joke is that the middle-class folks who can still afford to take a cab, here in the middle of the Depression, would be shocked to find out that some of the richest Americans (in this case, the Vanderbilt and Whitney families) had lost nearly everything -- due to the creation of income and estate taxes not too long before, the effects of the Depression, and the weirdly profligate spending of the Vanderbilts and others. The "baby clothes" might refer to Gloria Vanderbuilt, who was a child at the time. The Whitneys went broke through corruption. The third bridge of "Anything Goes" returns to the second person -- you -- acknowledging everybody's feeling that the world has gone crazy and it's making us all crazy. Much like right now. And notice this very early critique of the mainstream media...

Just think of those shocks you've got And those knocks you've got And those blues you've got From the news you've got, And those pains you've got (If any brains you've got) From those little radios.

According to the PBS website:

For the radio, the 1930s was a golden age. At the start of the decade 12 million American households owned a radio, and by 1939 this total had exploded to more than 28 million. But why was this ‘talking telegram’ so popular? As technology improved radios became smaller and cheaper [hence the "little" radios]. They became the central piece of furniture in the average family’s living room, with parents and children alike, crowding around the set to hear the latest installment of their favorite show. News broadcasts also influenced the way the public experienced current affairs. When the Hindenburg airship exploded in 1937, reporter Herb Morrison was on the scene, recording the events to be broadcast the following day. But above all the radio provided a way to communicate like never before. Franklin Roosevelt’s ‘fireside chats’ helped the population feel closer to their president than ever.

There's yet another bridge section, with an early lyric that was not used in 1934 but restored for the 1987 revival:

If saying your pray'rs you like, If green pears you like, If old chairs you like, If backstairs you like, If love affairs you like With young bears you like, Why nobody will oppose.

And yes, "young bears" meant then what it means now; it's a gay reference that a fair number of New York theatre-goers, "the smart set," probably had heard. "Backstairs" was surely a reference to brothels or speakeasies. But what of these other lines? Though several of these references seem oddly random, two of my friends, Mark Cummings and Michael Dale, suggest that the whole stanza is about acceptance of varying sexual tastes, and I think they're right. After all, anything goes. We know Porter loved to joke in code...

If saying your pray'rs you like = Good Girls If green pears you like = Young Girls, Virgins If old chairs you like = Older Women If backstairs you like = Hookers (or Servants?) If love affairs you like With young bears you like = Young Men Why nobody will oppose.

In other words, Free Love. That does make a certain Porter-esque sense, both in terms of his writing and his biography. With that in mind, this sure does feel like Cole's quirky take on "chacun à son goût." And if we're right about this, that may explain why it was cut in 1934... This last version of the bridge was written by P.G. Wodehouse for the first London production, and it's been used in all the revivals, because so much of the original 1934 lyric is unusable today.

When grandmama whose age is eighty In night clubs is getting matey With gigolos, Anything Goes. When mothers pack and leave poor father Because they decide they'd rather Be tennis pros, Anything Goes.

But this lyric is way too British for this show and these characters. Americans don't use the word "matey" because we don't use "mate" to mean friend; and most Americans don't say, "grandmama." Also in America, "father" and "rather" do not rhyme. Also, Porter rarely inverted sentences as awkwardly as these first two lines. Still, this stanza does get at another cultural phenomenon of the 1930s. While the trend up to that point had been for the divorce rate to increase, that got interrupted in the early 1930s. Due to the Depression, many couples stayed together because they couldn't afford divorce. It wasn't until the unemployment rate went down that the increasing divorce rate trend continued. Unemployment was at its highest in 1933, and as the unemployment rate declined throughout the 30s, the divorce rate increased. At the same time, women's tennis greatly increased in popularity. While Cole may be suggesting a connection -- a lesbian joke? -- I am not. This cheat rhyme was written for the Act I finale of the 1962 revival:

They think he's gangster number one, So they've made him their favorite son, And that goes to show. Anything Goes! Anything, Anything, Anything Goes!

But "show" doesn't rhyme with "goes"! A different alternate Porter lyric I found corrects the bad rhyme with "And that plot twist shows..." Like I said, there is no single definitive version of this show or most of its songs.

Much of the original 1934 lyric for "Anything Goes" would just baffle today's audiences, with references to Mrs. Ned McLean (a socialite who was the last private owner of the Hope Diamond), Eleanor Roosevelt's radio broadcasts sponsored by Simmons mattresses, extravagant Broadway producer Max Gordon, movie studio head Sam Goldwyn, Ukrainian movie star Anna Sten, actor and socialite Lady Mendl, and others. When Anything Goes first opened, the title song worked because it reinforced a feeling the audience already had -- that the world is spinning madly out of control, and that sometimes that can be fun. (Or as Little Red might put it, "excited and scared.") As proof of the show's thesis, the songs "Anything Goes" and "You're the Top" (the latter mocking our love affair with celebrities and brand names), offer up example after example ripped from the headlines (and society pages) of 1934. Today when we see Anything Goes, all those examples suggest the craziness in 2018, without literally referencing any of it. But it still works. Crazy is crazy. In 1934, Americans were grappling with the massive, disorienting changes our country was going through. It did feel to many American as if all the rules had been ripped up, that literally anything goes. Today in 2018, we're grappling with much the same thing, here in the early days of the Digital Age, at the start of huge demographic and social changes in America, when the very nature of truth is up for debate. Life today is just as crazy as it was in Reno Sweeney's America, maybe crazier. Today, all these references may serve only as metaphors, but still pretty potent ones. I've been telling people that the reason "the bad boy of musical theatre" decided to produce Anything Goes is that it's built on two central themes that fit our kind of work perfectly -- the American habit of making religion into show business and criminals into celebrities. But now, after taking such a deep dive into the title song, I realize those two themes are just the results of the show's true central premise, which is literally "anything goes" -- the world is upside-down. Every element of this story is testament to this one idea. All the couples are wrongly coupled at first, the clergyman gets arrested and the gangster gets a cruise, the passengers deify a fake murderer, the real gangster is as nervous as a fucking cat, the worldly-wise speakeasy hostess falls for the dorky Englishman... Everything is up for grabs. None of the rules apply. We're in Shakespeare's woods. And anything goes! Now, the next time somebody tells you Anything Goes is just silly and mindless, I give you permission to tell them to shut the fuck up. Long Live the Musical! Scott from The Bad Boy of Musical Theatre http://newlinetheatre.blogspot.com/2018/01/the-world-has-gone-mad-today.html