#blursed au

[sacchiri]

this comment made me laugh so I tried to draw it

[mendely]

Bloodborne AU where Gehrman becomes obsessed with Micolash instead of Lady Maria and the doll looks like a taller handsomer Micolash who speaks in a tone like the cut Mico lines and wears a fancy gilded bird cage

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Chapter 14 - Fíli

@laurfilijames, as promised, here is another chapter of the blursed AU.

This chapter 14, which deals with the direct aftermath of Michele leaving Fíli's office.

In the meantime, yes, I have blown up the Finwëan building...so there'll be some references to the chaos and the confusion of that as well.

Characters: Fíli, Kíli, Ori, Michele

Words: 1,6 k

Warnings: Danger, fire, emergency, trauma...a bit of angst...

“Fire!”

Fíli rushed to the door of his office through which Michele had just walked with the damned papers he had been remiss in sending in so very late. “What?” he yelled, sniffing the air to detect even the faintest hint of stifling smoke.

“The Finwëan’s building is aflame,” Kíli screamed as he flew past the door towards the staircase. “Don’t stand there like a dumb ape, come, we need every pair of hands we can find!”

Ever since their earliest childhood, Fíli’s and Kíli’s hearts were in sync when it came to emergencies and thus, the older of the two didn’t even take the time to question his motives as he started racing after his brother; no words were needed beyond the curt exhortation that had been barked at him so rudely.

Something terrible had happened; Fíli could feel it in the air as soon as he stepped into the plaza – milling with panicked people – and walked briskly towards his uncle who was already engaged in a heated discussion with Thranduil.

“Blankets,” Thorin bellowed, “and water!”

There was a strain in his voice that made it sound too tense and brittle in Fíli’s ringing ears; Thorin hated fire with a passion, but he was also not the kind of man to back down in the face of his biggest, most secret fear. Frantic action it was, Fíli thought and turned on his heels to obey his orders.

“On it,” Fíli cried back perfunctorily and – in tandem with his brother – he hastened to get the necessary supplies ready for the evacuated masses pouring out of the half-destroyed building relentlessly. It was mindless, automatic work and so, his eyes kept sweeping over the crowd in search of the woman who had left the building just ahead of him.  Where the hell was she and why hadn’t she come back? He knew that Michele could not possibly have reached the Finwëans before whatever had caused this destruction had gone off, but he also had not been able to locate her in his short foray into the jungle of soot-stained faces and burned limbs. She was still out there, in the no-man’s-land of a shocking act of wilful destruction. Was she wounded? Was she scared?

It was absurd to feel so responsible for a woman he had barely even met, and yet, he had sent her on this errand and now, she was nowhere to be found.

No, it was more than that; he had taken an instant liking to her, and his heart clenched painfully at the thought that something terrible might have happened to her. This was more than mere guilt for having sent her into a perilous situation; he cared about her and dreaded a world in which he would never find out how things might have developed between them.

There had been a spark; surely, she had felt it too, she must have…but if she had, why had she not immediately turned back to find him?

She had been so very nervous and fearful, running from an ominous threat lurking in the shadows, he remembered. What if she had frozen or panicked? What if…

“What can I do?” Ori sidled up to him quietly, interrupting his spiralling thoughts of self-recrimination and desperate fear.

“Can you try to find Michele? She went out to take some papers over and I…” Fíli fell silent with a groan, but Ori’s face hardened into a mask of resolute efficiency. He had been there; he had seen how Fíli’s face had lit up in her company and – not being a stranger to the whims and woes of love – Ori understood all the urgency his friend didn’t dare put into words.

“Of course,” he reassured him, “do not worry about…the other thing. It’s of no consequence. I wonder…”

“Find them both,” Fíli hissed, “I don’t care if this is patronising or dumb; I want them found and dragged to safety – kicking and screaming if need be – and I trust you to make it through the people discreetly.”

It would not do to cause a scandal and Fíli knew that he would probably have elbowed his way through the throng in his frantic search; no, it was better to send Ori who could melt into a crowd and flow through it like water over pebbles. He would not fail him.

“On it, boss,” Ori saluted with a wry little smile and disappeared.

As time trickled by so slowly that Fíli had to check his watch thrice just to make sure that it had not simply stopped to antagonise him, he started to wonder if he had – instead of saving anyone – managed to lose his friend as well.

The cloud of smoke and stifling ashes, descending like a grey blanket onto the square, made him scowl at the sky vainly; he had never felt so helpless and alone in all his life and his fingers shook slightly as he went on dispensing comforting words and much-needed provisions to the survivors.

Survivors, the word rang hollow and mournful like a dirge in his head, and he shivered fitfully.

If only he could have closed his hands around a quivering throat or bashed in a smirking face, he might have felt better, but – as things were – he kept handing out water bottles and blankets mechanically while waiting on any kind of news about what had happened and how bad it was.

He held no love for his rivals in his heart, but he couldn’t stop his mind from leafing through their faces and names as if through a morose book of mourning.

“No,” he mumbled to himself, “no, they wouldn’t simply die. Would they? They are ridiculously strong and resilient; they would not hand the market over to us. I wouldn’t even want to win like that; it’s not fair, that’s not sportsmanship…No, no, they’re all right. You’ll see…”

Fíli didn’t even know whom he was trying to convince, he simply needed to dispel the terrible, eerie, grave silence that pervaded this desert of cold stone and sightless glass.

“Fíli,” Michele ran towards him; her tears had left grimy streaks on her pale cheeks and her voice was cracking like a fallen flowerpot. “I can’t get Rhee to leave.”

Handing some poor sod a bottle without looking at him and nodding sharply at his brother, Fíli grabbed another pack and jumped over the heavy oaken table Dwalin had dragged out from some meeting room. “I’ll be right back,” he called and met Michele halfway to their little first-aid corner.

She fell into his arms readily, letting go of the folder she had been clasping so tightly that it had crumpled around her fingers. Immediately, a copper-haired head dipped down and Ori tucked the binder into his trusty bag that was reliably slung across his narrow chest.

“Baby,” Fíli cooed, “tell me everything!”

“I was just out of the lobby when I saw…it was like an explosion – a sudden blaze of light, a deafening bang – and then a huge cloud of black smoke went up; when the wind tore at it like icy fingers shredding a veil, parts of the building were…gone. I ran…”

She took a deep, messy gulp from the water bottle he had handed her; meanwhile, Fíli gently wrapped an old blanket, formerly used to protect furniture from being scratched while being moved from one room to the next, around her trembling shoulders and watched her closely.

“I’m so sorry,” she then gasped quietly, “I didn’t deliver your documents. I…”

“Never mind the damn papers,” Fíli growled in response, giving in to the desire to press his lips soothingly against her ashy brow as dizzying relief flooded his soul and turned his knees into water. “They have other problems. You said something about your friend earlier, what is the matter?”

Despite the thin blanket, she was still shivering, so he pulled her into his arms to cradle her against his own warmth while softly humming a lullaby his mother had used to sing to them when he and Kíli had still been mere kids.

He regretted his words as soon as they were spoken for Michele’s body spasmed against his as the full force of her despair returned with a vengeance.

“I, of course, started scanning the people for Rhee as she is the only one I know. It took some time, but finally, I could get a hold of her; she was with the man who had come to take her back to work…” Michele took up her chaotic narration of what had happened once more.

“Yes?”

In the background, the sirens of fire trucks and police cars could be heard and Fíli shook his head as if to get rid of the insistent wailing that made it so much harder to understand Michele’s hiccupping retelling of the events he had missed.

“She won’t budge. I’ve…I don’t understand but there are people missing. The man’s boss has not come out yet and…the man for whom these papers were meant…or is it the same? Anyway, Rhee is kneeling by the doors and won’t move away. I…help me!”

Fíli looked around him and waved his hand to catch Kíli’s eye; when his brother looked up at him, he nodded in Michele’s direction to get his brother to keep an eye on her while he tried to tear her friend away from a potentially lethal display of professional loyalty.

As soon as he started moving though, Michele tightened her arms around him. “No, I am coming,” she protested when Kíli tried to pry her off.

“So am I,” Ori declared. How long had he been standing there – transfixed by Michele’s gruesome tale – and had not even dared to comment on the terrible danger in which this mysterious, headstrong, fearsome Rhee found herself?

So, in hopes that this will make you smile, lots of love from me!

Previous chapters are on my Masterlist : Chapter 9 ¦ Chapter 11

[sirwow]

been suffering from illness tm so some rose apocalypse sutff

[diatomaceous-worth]

More on the youtuber au... (from this art)

Ok don't kill me but it's also a soulmate au. and because I've been drafting it for a long time and it might be good while before anything finished sees the light of day, here a detailed synopsis.

So...we can start with Alfred. He lives with his brother who is getting fed up that he's late on rent each month. It's been months since Alfred's graduated high school and maybe he'll enroll in the community college but he doesn't really know what he wants to do. He's just been working odd jobs. The best he can do now is at the pizza joint, which is always sure to never give him enough hours to go full time. But it's ok, because when he's not doing that he's making youtube videos.

He and Kiku would make them as kids, and now he's giving it his all, trying the cinnamon challenge, posting videos of him playing minecraft and crazy Dota moments. He's really hoping something will take off. But it's hard. None of his shit gets any views. Not nearly as much as the most fucking annoying youtuber: Arthur Kirkland.

He makes the most basic ass lifestyle videos like "my boyfriend does my makeup" and "going to high tea" or "animal crossing house tour" shit. Why millions of people care about that pip pip cheerio fuck is beyond him.

Something about him just irrationally ticks him off. Maybe it's because he doesn't seem deserving of fame. Maybe because Arthur has many times been petty and gotten involved in twitter spats that just make him look bad. Maybe it's because he's weird. In every video, he always wears gloves. He never takes them off, and he always dodges questions about it.

On r/KirklandSnark some people have picked up that he always wears long sleeves, too. The leading theory on the sub, which became such an often repeated and heated topic that Alfred banned discussion on it, is that he's hiding his soulmate mark. That it extends from his hands onto his arm. (Alfred's theory however is that he does it to seem eccentric for views)

But maybe it's true, maybe it's not. Alfred's gut tells him that Francis is not Arthur's soulmate. Alfred has noticed Arthur does share a lot about his life but he is also closed off in a lot of ways. Yet making a video on the topic of soulmates would only benefit Arthur. Youtubers talking about which soulmate mechanism they have, or how they met their soulmate; people eat that shit up. Because all the unmatched young people want to imagine themselves meeting their soulmate and how magical it could be, or they want to figure out which soulmate mechanism they will have.

Alfred doesn't openly admit it but he has spent way too much time watching videos like that. Can you blame him though? For being nineteen and never having felt any connection to his soulmate? If they even exist?? He has never woken up with words on his skin nor felt any sensation that wasn't his. Never seen a glimmer of a red thread out of the corner of his eye nor found any mark on his body that might tie him to another.

Meanwhile he has to sit on the bus and bear witness to strangers bumping into each other and freaking the fuck out about it because they said each other's words. They don't even carry barf bags on buses did you know that?

But Alfred doesn't want to give up hope. Someone is out there for him.

Arthur Kirkland on the other hand?

The topic of soulmates brings him misery. Soulmates are a blight. They are bloody inconvenient. Why should he be destined to anyone? Doesn't he have a choice? Will his dense as bricks soulmate every stop cheating on tests?

He was ten when the first ink appeared on his skin. He remembered how profound it felt. To watch the scribbles bloom over his arms and palms. He knew what it was, and he wrote back a simple reply. An introduction, his name.

The lack of response was the first step to his disillusionment with the whole thing. By the time he was in year 10 he resolved to stop looking. It was easier to cover up his hands to avoid catching whatever drivel his soulmate wrote or drew. They seemed dead set on ignoring him, and Arthur grew tired of wondering why his messages didn't seem to go through.

Occasionally he wouldn't be able to avoid it. The year Arthur tried uni was when the cheating started. First it was chemistry formulas and the next year it was math equations, all crammed under his navel in an absurd number of rows. Sometimes he caught the to-do lists written on the back of his hands. Things like "ch.2 east of eden" or "socks 4 matt". He tried to avoid catching those things, knowing that going down that path of trying to figure out who Matt was would drive him insane. But based on the spellings, he was sure he was American. And that was enough to put Arthur at ease.

His soulmate was far far away, and Arthur could be free to live his life and tend to his overly massive youtube channel (the one that afforded him a flat in London, dates with Francis, and even a meeting with the queen. (Never mind that the meeting with the queen was almost a disaster, that in the car before they set foot on the grounds he watched Francis's eyes grow in horror as they stayed glued to his brow, watching a crude sharpie penis appear on his forehead. Francis tried to scrub it off even, despite Arthur's protests (soap never worked, ever), but in the end an obscene amount of makeup saved the day.)

It was a lot to ignore, but continuing on despite it all was all he ever knew. So he entertains himself with his channel, savors the good moments with Francis, and occasionally indulges in the strange people who try to start drama with him online.

And this is where Alfred's "Why Arthur Kirkland SUCKS" video comes into play. Because Alfred's finally had enough of the mediocrity. And he just goes for it. Buys a stupid fake fancy hat and suit from party city (And of course his stupid gloves!), and rants to the camera about everything that annoys him about the guy.

"All his fans just like him for his stupid accent. Being hot and british is not an excuse for a personality! Look at me! I'm Arthur Kirkland and blimey the other day I had the spiciest cracker! Think they might have put salt on it!"

And Arthur has no qualms about ripping back into Alfred. It's only fair because Alfred certainly didn't hold back. Arthur's response video is fairly successful, and Arthur moves on from it, happy with the chatter it generated and satisfied that he out-roasted that git, while Alfred is so extremely shocked that Arthur responded to him that a week goes by in the blink of an eye and when he finally goes to check out the subreddit he's been neglecting, he locks every post discussing the video and finally approves the guy who had been bugging him to be the second moderator (some guy named Peter). It's simply too weird to see discussions about himself, and maybe the whole dedicated subreddit was a little too much...?

But back to Arthur, part of his decision to make the video came from its convenience. It was easy to make while he was moving. He moves to the US for Francis's career, settling in Chicago (and you'll never guess where Matt and Al live). They break up when Francis wants to move on (Arthur thought it was perfect to be with someone whose soulmate was dead, because then he could never complain about his own situation, but here's another thing that didn't work out).

Arthur finds himself living out of hotel, drinking too much, and on one night, ordering pizza. Alfred isn't normally the guy who delivers, but after the normal driver clocks out early, his boss forces him to deliver this order some asshole put in ten minutes before close.

It's very strange when he knocks on the hotel door, and Arthur Kirkland answers, fully clothed and gloved, staring back at him with a similar shocked recognition in his eyes.

...

crazy right. not going to say what happens in the hotel but I'll say that Alfred goes back home to his couch, dreams a peaceful dream instead of his frequent nightmares, and Arthur finds himself surprised that he wants to see his internet hater again.

[catnotfound]

Littol sketch dump of human!AU B)

Messing around with Adam (as usual).

[frodo-with-glasses]

Expectations vs. Reality.

Not SamFro!

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

Mystake divorced the Fsm au and the whole Oni hypnosis thing

Garmadon when he’s cured of the overlord and devourer’s venom is just getting dragged back to the nest by Mystake

In Mystake’s words “Was all that hypnosis resistance training as a pup useless for you? Even Lloyd can put up a better resistance and he’s half human! Your wife too and she’s human! Boot camp for you!”

Garmadon tired af from getting his ass kicked by his son as destiny demands doesn’t even notice his mother’s hypnosis and just goes down easy

So it’s just a seemingly little human woman dragging around what might have been the destined conqueror of ninjago for a nice week long hibernation until he’s nice and healed up to Mystake’s standards.

Wu thinks he can escape the nest and mother’s boot camp but no she just glares at him and he falls in line.

Better to not get put into hibernation against his will and just let it happen

Lloyd follows after because he’s concerned for his father and also Gammy promised dessert for dinner

Misako needs to go grocery shopping and clothes shopping too. It’s been so long since she’s actually been allowed to do some nest keeping and it’s nice.

Garmadon has certainly filled out due to carrying the mega weapon and he’s probably been starving as a result of his rather dangerous lifestyle.

A nice warm bath as well he reeks.

The entire oni hypnosis au was so spontaneous and unplanned that it's a mess that probably needs revision, but I like the repeating theme of it being a nurturing thing. I find it hilarious, subversive, fascinating, and cute.

(And Garmadon gets an earful about not calling his mother either. No, being trapped in the underworld and on a destiny assigned quest to conquer the world is not an excuse.)

-Ivy

[blackcat2300yt]

So I watched the recent helluva boss and uh

Got inspired so to speak :3

My oc Snowball with @askdiscordwhooves because for whatever reason I'm obsessed with this blursed pairing.

[h-worksrambles]

TSR Modern AU headcanon:

Samuel and William are out at the store when they hear Dixon Dallas’ Good Lookin’ playing over the speakers. Sam turns to Will with a smirk before saying loudly enough for most passers by to hear: “Hey Will, it’s our song!” Will responds with a mix of flustered angry embarrassment…and being kind of into it, probably now seeming extra anxious about getting home quickly…

[ducotte-real]

if I did a Trigunstuck AU would u guys be interested. In the long run it doesn’t matter yes or no bc I’m making it regardless but if I DID which character assignment would work better

[littlefox998]

Soooooo I made a blursed ship drawing-

If you don’t know who the guy covered in “cheese” is, that’s Pyrite. Im actually planning on making a comic on his AU in the near future so look out for that -3-

(I’ll be posting it on my main account @cattynatty999)

[small-goth-clifford]

Imagine Season fucking 1 Lord Garmadon with TWITTER.

Just IMAGINE!!! He post a selfie and the stans go fucking feral. If he had twitter, he would have taken over the world in a single thread!! You cannot convince me otherwise!!

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Chapter 11: Fíli

@laurfilijames, here is the follow-up to my first entry about Fíli for the @deanobingo.

This is chapter 11 of the blursed AU in which we'll meet Rhee, learn a little more about what happened between her and Ori (but not much) and encounter Thorin.

(Chapter 10 synopsis: Maedhros returns to the office after finding Ori - who wanted to talk to Rhee - in the foyer. Maglor is there and looks as if he has an important question; so is Fingon who visibly loathes Ori. Rhee takes off in a huff and leaves them standing there.)

Character: Fíli

Prompt: Can I help you with that?

Words: 2k

After the evident fear he had witnessed, Fíli was loath to let Michele leave on her own, so he downed his coffee – burning his tongue in the process – and hastened after her.

He felt like a villain himself as he slid behind a column and watched the plaza; Michele was walking bristly towards a woman Fíli had often seen before as everyone knew everyone else from sight in this madhouse. He recognised herspecifically within a single instant though.

As he crept nearer nevertheless, his heart sank into his stomach; if this was the friend – Rhee – who had gone to college with Ori, he had a serious problem on his hands.

The small woman with her sleek ponytail was one of those who arrived early and often left late, this much he knew; moreover, she was exactly Ori’s type – so much so that he had mockingly encouraged his friend to pay her coffee more than once – and the idea that they had met before made his mind swim with cold dread.

What if she was the very woman Ori refused to ever talk about?

She didn’t strike Fíli as a harpy though; her face was drawn and tense and – as Michele extended her slender arms to her – she crumbled against her friend and dissolved into hot tears.

“What the fuck,” he cursed under his breath; this day was evil. His fingers were wrapped, white-knuckled and clammy, around the edge of the wall he was sheltered behind to keep himself from rushing over and bundling up both ladies into his arms.

If Thorin had taught him anything in this life beyond sound business practices, it certainly was that – as a man of honour – one had to defend and protect those in need.

Just as he was about to intervene, a dark-skinned, impressively fit man ran towards them and vomited a flood of apologetic words.

Was this the boyfriend? She clearly seemed to like him a good deal for she gave him a wavering, watery smile and patted his shoulder reassuringly.

Then she turned back to Michele and Fíli saw his impromptu coffee date pulling out his card; a short discussion ensued and, finally, the mysterious stranger nodded at her friend and pointed at the company building down the square.

Would Michele present herself there? 

Fíli knew every lane and shortcut around here and so, running as fast as his clothes allowed and his legs would carry him, he went around the back to arrive before Michele could.

In the end, they reached the heavy front door almost simultaneously.

“Hello again,” Michele smiled shyly and put her hands in her coat pockets. “Rhee has to take care of the adult toddlers she’s working with, and she said I should look into the opportunity of working here.”

She chuckled a little. “And even if not, she trusts this company to keep me safe for a little while.”

“Come through,” Fíli said calmly and pressed his badge against a stone pillar to open the security gates. “She’s quite right; no harm will come to you within these walls. The same could be said about her own though…”

Her cheeks flushed with sudden embarrassment as she was caught in her inconsistency.

“Yes,” she replied slowly, drawing out the single syllable, “but I might have wanted to come here instead.”

“By all means,” he grinned, “be my guest. So, that’s me.” He pointed at a board with photographs. “The grumpy one is my uncle, Thorin, the one who looks like him just prettier is my mother and that little fool over there is my brother, Kí.”

It struck him how important it seemed to him to prove that he had not lied to her and that he indeed was who and what he had described; she evidently had trust issues rooted in some terrible experiences and if her own friend wanted her to be safe rather than just occupied, he would do his darndest to make sure that she was.

“Good pic,” she commented with audible admiration. “So, what would I do if I was to get that job?”

Fíli led her to the elevators and took them to his floor where he barked at his brother – poking his head through his own office door – that he would have to take over Fíli’s afternoon appointments.

Then, he unlocked his own corner office and closed the door firmly behind him, turning the heavy key in the lock ostentatiously; Michele’s tense shoulders relaxed a little as she wandered over to the windowfront and looked out onto the deserted plaza.

“I don’t want to press you,” he started softly, “but I have to wonder what you are so afraid of.”

She frowned a little but heaved a low sigh before admitting that she had parted with her former partner in a less-than-amicable way. “It’s not as if I was running from the law or anything,” she then joked weakly. “I just need a safe place to stay for a little.”

“Can I help you with that?” he grinned and smiled to make her understand that he meant her no harm and would not come on to her unbidden when she had just admitted that her last experience with a man had ended badly enough for her to pack up and flee. “You are very welcome to spend every day here if that makes you feel better. There’s always someone around to keep an eye on things.”

A short knock resounded and he strode over to the door with the sharp, feline movements of a watchful predator. “Who’s there?” he called sternly and only opened the door when a small squeak announced that it was in fact the friend he had gone out to find in the first place.

“Man,” Ori exclaimed as soon as the door swung open, “those dudes have problems. Got a nice sandwich out of it though.”

“Where did you go? And what did you go there for?” Fíli barked and waved his friend in; by the look on Ori’s face, he could tell that whatever great quest he had wanted to fulfil had miserably failed. 

It was not the first time that Fíli turned himself, his office, and his very soul into a sanctuary for the hurt and the lonely; Kíli and Thorin were more than capable to carry his load for a day, he knew, and so he suppressed the surge of guilt rising in a tide of bitter gall within his throat. 

“Ori,” Michele hissed and Fíli observed with macabre fascination how the high colour of agitation drained from his friend’s face in a single moment as he whirled around to face the woman.

“Oh,” Ori merely whispered, stumbling back a few steps, “oh, Michele. Hello. I take it you’re the friend Rhee was going to meet. How…” He relapsed into silence, wringing his hands nervously. “I have no right to ask that, forgive me.”

Turning to Fíli, he promised that he’d call him later.

“No! You stay right where you are,” Fíli commanded, but his friend gave him an apologetic shrug and dashed back to the door like an overgrown squirrel that had seen the neighbourhood cat approach.

“What was that about?” Fíli then asked Michele sharply; he had suspected right away that there was more to the story than what she had divulged this far, but he had never expected to see such a vehement reaction from someone as placid as Ori usually was.

“It’s not my story to tell,” Michele said with a minute shrug. “If you care to know, you can ask Rhee when she picks me up; I suspect that she will as soon as she’s done dealing with her own co-workers.”

Sometimes, Fíli thought, the world was like a large lake, and it sufficed that one petulant child threw a heavy rock into it for the consequences and disturbances to ripple out until they had lastingly changed the peaceful microcosmos underneath the surface.

Ori meeting Rhee unexpectedly was certainly one of those stones and he felt the ground underneath his feet shift and waver as he stepped up to his desk to regain his composure at least outwardly while his mind was reeling with confusion.

The files sitting on the polished stone surface should have been submitted to the loathed neighbours by now and he knew for a fact that the folder was not even complete yet; with a frustrated grunt, he started leafing through his papers to find all the necessary documents and give them to Kíli.

Had he known where Ori had run off to, he might have hurried and given his friend the file to submit it to the competent agency within the Finwëan purgatory.

Of course, his computer had to chime at that exact moment with a flood of e-mails.

Three short raps resounded and – before Fíli could extricate his hands from the mountain of loose sheets – Michele had walked over to the door confidently and thrown it open.

“Who are you? I need the file, now,” a dark, impatient voice declared. Thorin, Fíli thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach; he didn’t care for disappointing either his mother or his uncle.

“It shall be ready promptly,” Michele replied calmly as if she had been working in this firm for years. “Do you need us to have it delivered or handed in somewhere further along the line or will it suffice to follow the usual procedure?” 

Fíli was amazed by the change he saw in her; her back was straight, and her eyes did not hesitate to meet his uncle’s, gleaming with cool efficiency as Thorin grumbled that it would be absolutely satisfactory to simply give it to Kíli once it was done.

“I’d rather not give the darned ballerinas next door a reason to complain,” Thorin then explained almost apologetically. Again, Fíli could only gape at Michele in astonishment as she – who had only just arrived in town – immediately grasped the meaning of Thorin’s bitter jibe.

“I shall take the file over myself, if that eases your mind, Sir,” she said soothingly and Thorin actually smiled at that and nodded at her gravely.

“Very well,” he said in a much more debonair tone, “that spares us all – well me at least – a trip to their gaudy foyer.”

His dark-haired, shapely head pushed past Michele to peer into the room. “Fíli,” he called, “I see you’ve found someone to assist you. Well done!”

And with that, he was gone again, stomping down the corridor to terrorise some other unsuspecting soul.

“You’ve handled him admirably,” Fíli praised, wishing desperately now that she’d accept to work for him. He had, of course, put the horse before the cart here; thus far, he had not even described the job opening at hand.

Rubbing his tired eyes with one broad palm, he waved at the comfortable chair on the other side of his desk.

“Not now,” Michele grinned and tapped a slender finger against the pile of documents he was leaning on. “You’d better get this done. I shall present myself here tomorrow and then, we can talk about this job you want to offer me.”

Grabbing a post-it from a funny goat-shaped holder and a pen from a “Best brother in the world”-mug, she wrote down her own number and taped it against the outside of the desk.

“Chop chop,” she then encouraged him playfully after theatrically checking her wristwatch, “they’ll close shop soon.”

Returning regretfully to the odious ordering of stray papers, Fíli observed Michele from the corner of his eyes; she was beautiful in a calm, composed manner that made him feel too loud and clunky in comparison. 

Moreover, she seemed to have an innate sense of efficiency and was able to pacify Thorin without ever raising her voice; she was doubtlessly an extraordinary asset, and his ambition was stoked by the prospect of winning her over. In every sense of the word.

So, that was another glimpse at my forbidden, silly AU.

I hope you liked this <3

-> Chapter 14

[super-andi-ness]

Columbo but it’s LoTR and Columbo is a tiny hobbit man no one takes seriously. And also his wife is a super hot elf. Send tweet.

[snowrea0]

Le Fishe au chocolat

(I should also probably mention that I did this on a school computer)