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#bojan x reader
snazzynacho · 10 months
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Behind Closed Doors
Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!reader
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Chapter Two:
Warnings: mention of sex, drinking game, drunk texts
All of last night, your mind was all over the place. Your thoughts raced around like you were drunk. Ironic.
"You look well," Jere sarcastically said, pointing out your dark circles and the tired look in your eyes. You were getting ready backstage for rehearsals, now dressed in the same neon pink dress and orange tan along with Jere who was in his bright green bolero, both lighting up the dressing room.
"Thanks, I hadn't realised." You deadpanned while playfully smacking him, expecting to hurt him back, but instead of hitting his actual arm, you were met with his stupid inflated bolero muscle which did nothing on impact except flop a bit, earning an annoyed grunt out of you.
You were already irritated with your mind, thoughts, memories of the party or lack thereof, and not to mention the unspoken flirty tension - everything. Everything left you so confused and in need of answers.
Jere laughed at your smack but he saw the uncomfortable look in your eyes, "Hey, what's wrong? Something I said?" He raised an eyebrow and giggled momentarily but seeing the look still on your face paired with your grunt, he didn't tease you any further. He cares about you, not only because you are good friends, but because you are also his dancer and he needs everyone well enough to rehearse and perform.
He gently pressed a hand to your shoulder, hoping to lessen your uneasiness. "Y/n, is something wrong?"
You were not going crave in and spit out everything on your mind like this, not in some sort of fit of rage or anxiety, no, not that easy...so you lied...for now. "I just didn't sleep that well." (it's fine, you technically weren't lying...)
"Nervous for the first rehearsal?" Jere asked softly as his caring eyes looked at you, "I know how you feel, I am too, but we are in this together." he smiled. (Yeah, too together it seems...)
He assumed you were nervous for this reason so you decided to go with it. Again, it's not technically a lie. "Yeah," you smiled weakly at him, not wanting to worry him more or latch further onto the fact that there was more troubling you. It was time to focus on the rehearsals for the competition in less than a week. You know, for Eurovision, the whole reason you're all here! It seems you have forgotten...been too distracted.
Of course, he knew you well and definitely could tell there was something you weren't telling him but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable and push you any further, so he let it go. He knew that when you were ready you would talk to him. After all, he is your friend...
During rehearsals, you tried so hard to concentrate, truly, yet no matter how many times you practised your performance with the other dancers and Käärijä, your thoughts continued to race, only feeding into your anxiety more.
Not even your dance moves dashing you across the stage could stop your racing thoughts.
You even almost stumbled over your own feet, nearly causing to ruin the dance for everyone. Skilfully, you regained composure like the true professional you were. Now, if only you could do that when Bojan talks to you...
Speaking of Bojan, he was currently secretly watching you from afar - admiring your every move - even the few you had done wrong, which he didn't think were wrong since he knew nothing about dancing. He just thought they all looked so elegant coming from you. The way your hips swayed in the tight pink dress, the manner you strode across the stage, your glossy hair that swung with every move.
All of it.
He had told himself he was admiring you, not creepily spying. Although, if anyone caught him looking at you, they'd probably think the latter. Even worse, if it was one of the other Joker Out guys. He'd never hear the end of it so he decided to go back to the guys, remembering to be back later which is ironically when he has rehearsals, after taking a final peek at you.
****
Following a tiring morning of rehearsals, even though it was now only the afternoon, all you wanted to do was go to your hotel room, shower, get comfy, (scream into your pillow) and go to sleep. But no, oh no, the universe was still not on your side. Outside, Bojan caught up with you and Käärijä, standing before your out-of-breath selves.
Inside your body screamed because you weren't looking your best again, just like yesterday when Bojan saw you in the same orange tan and fake teeth, only this time it was worse since you were sweating and out of breath from performing. Nonetheless, on the outside, you attempted to put on a brave face. "Hey! You're still going to that bar later, right?" he asked cheerfully and explained how everyone else invited was still up for it, so you could tell he was really hoping you'd both be there.
"Yes, yes, it will be fun!" Käärijä replied happily, as to him nothing was wrong.
On the other hand, you made an effort to avoid looking Bojan in the eye because you were afraid that if you did so, he may decide to bring up another incident that may or may not have occurred at the party, like before.
Your way of having false confidence did nothing as he still gave you attention by smiling, thankfully not another reference to something at the party, although, you could still see a glint of smugness in his eyes. Luckily, you all parted ways so you could begin getting ready, but you were worried about seeing him later. You really liked him, so what happened in that sauna? All you could remember was everyone being tipsy and...a kiss, you guessed, with your blurry memory. Was this tension you've been sensing all been a joke or did you actually do...something? You needed answers and ultimately thought it was time to talk to Jere. You did finally have some time to spare anyway...
Then, you both slugged your way back from the venue, tired from the rehearsal. But you both knew it was worthwhile for the competition. The finals were any day now.
When the two of you were at the hotel and in your respective rooms your first thought was to look for your phone, considering you hadn't seen it since last night...when you watched that interview. At that very moment, your memory jogged, and you remembered you were using your phone at the party. Phone...party... That's it! The answers may very well lie in your phone! Now you just have to actually find it...
****
A bomb dropped in your room.
At least that's what it looked like because you had ripped your entire room apart trying to look for your damn phone. The stupid block of technology probably holds some very important details, including but not excluded from; highly embarrassingly drunk additions to your camera roll and messaging apps, or worse, social media. So you desperately needed it now otherwise you might start believing you've made all this tension up as well as that sauna dream - That it was really a dream after all. Truly questioning your sanity right now.
"You don't remember a single thing do you?" As if to make things worse, Bojan's words from yesterday rang through your head, taunting you as you continued wading through the mess of clothes and items scattered across your floor to search for your phone.
Although it was harder now that the bomb (you) ruined it and your unanswered questions lingered tirelessly at the front of your mind.
Much to your sanity, his words were not true as when you finally found your phone you found something on it. Your dream was correct, and so were your suspicions;
Someone had crept in as you stood letting out a frustrated groan as you faced your messy room.
"Looking for this?" Jere asked innocently while holding your phone up in front of you.
Spinning around you almost tripped on the clutter on the floor, startled by his presence. In the action, however, you noticed the phone and instantly snatched it out of his hand while giving him a suspicious look. Funnily enough, you were very clumsy for a dancer.
You still hadn't answered back to him as you proceeded to go through your phone, determined to find evidence - there it was, you saw it with your own eyes: drunken photos, most were very blurry though you could tell what it was of - the three of you drinking and partying in the sauna - hot and sweaty. Your fingers frantically swiped through more photos, it got worse: You were stripping, thankfully keeping some decency, since you had kept your underwear on.
You gasped as you swiped through even more photos as memories came flooding back. Especially at one photo that almost made you drop your phone: Bojan kissing you, on the lips. Or you kissing Bojan. You didn't know who initiated it but at this current moment, you could feel his warm lips lingering on yours, making them tingle. Your fingers brushed your lips as your wide eyes stared intensely at the photo, needing proof he hadn't followed Jere into the room and wasn't actually kissing you right now.
Overwhelmed, you threw the phone on your bed. It landed beside you as you crashed face-first into your pillow, letting out a scream. Jere stood quizzically for a beat before glancing down at your unlocked phone still displaying your photo gallery... He blinked a few times in disbelief, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him, then began laughing hysterically. "I forgot you did that!" He clutched his stomach as he continued to laugh while moving closer to you who groaned at his reaction to all of this.
"Tuhma!" He teased as he playfully poked the side of your cheek instantly making you snap your head to the side and try to bite his finger. "Tuhma," he repeated under his breath as he acted faux offended, rubbing his finger on his hoodie as if it hurt while you glared at him.
"It's not funny!" You whined.
"It is..."
Glaring still, you playfully kicked him in the shin and sat upright.
"Okay, okay!" Jere put his hands up in defence.
"Careful, next time I will kick you where it hurts." You glared and glanced up at him causing him to keep his hands up in defence and take a step back in precaution.
"I doubt Bojan remembers it," He tried to reassure you but you had already sensed the tension and also the fact Bojan told you 'You don't remember anything at all, do you?'...
In a huff you ripped the phone from his hand again and shoved it in your pocket, not even wanting to look at it. At the virtually indecent photos with your best friend and his friend... You sighed and looked up at Jere in the eyes sceptically. "Did you see the last picture?..." You quietly asked, prompting his eyebrow to raise and his head to tilt in confusion.
Without a word you whipped out your phone again, showing him the kissing picture. "Oh," was all that came out of his still semi-confused self. "I thought the stripping was worse to be hon-" He started but interjected when he saw you frown again. Whichever you hated more would be what he'd try to focus on and help you with, regardless of what he thought was worse or not. In this case, it wasn't the stripping, or at least for now it wasn't, it was the fact that you and Bojan had kissed. And there was photographic evidence of this.
"Do you and Bojan remember it?" You caught him off guard with your question. "Because I barely did until now."
"I mean, kind of. Now that I see the pictures too," He shrugged and sat next to you.
"So it wasn't weird?"
"No, it is a sauna and we were drunk!" He attempted to comfort you once more, yet his next words were risky. "You do that all the time with me-"
"Jere!" you whacked him on the arm. "I- It was a sauna..." you tried to validate your actions as he did. "That's what you do..."
"What? Kiss people?" He giggled and nudged his elbow on your arm and his eyebrows wiggled teasingly.
"Remember what I said about that kick? It's still on the table. And I meant stripping!" you groaned out but your face went red as you realised what you said. "No! I mean, like, wearing little to nothing!" you covered your blushing cheeks and moaned out of embarrassment and annoyance.
"He hardly experienced the Finnish way. It's not like you were fully naked." He laughed and shrugged again, knowing that other cultures would probably be weirded out by that.
"I know that's normal but not to him, he probably thinks I'm some slut!" With another groan, you got up and hastily poured yourself a drink.
"What?" He shook his head, "No, he doesn't, you're overthinking. That kiss says otherwise-"
"I WILL KICK YOU-"
"You wouldn't," he grinned at you and laid down on the bed to watch you pour a drink, although in his vision you were now upside down, with a nice view of your a-
You turned back round.
With your drink in your hand (a cocktail of your choice with an added pink mini umbrella floating in there) you strut over to Jere and with your free hand, you playfully punch him where it hurts.
His knees raised slightly while he grunted in pain, rolling on his side, and laughed, "That was a punch, not a kick."
"I'll show you a kick!" You pulled him up off the bed and kicked him making him fall to the knees. "You asked for it," you laughed at him.
"True," he rasped.
When he recovered he grabbed a drink for himself - Glögi - which he bought tons of to drink throughout the year. "You just found out you basically have nudes with us and now you're having a cocktail. Don't you think you need something stronger?" He giggled.
"I'll show you something stronger," and before he knew it he was being playfully tackled to the ground, spilling his drink in the process. "NOT MY GLÖGI!"
All that anyone walking past the hotel room could hear was him screaming and you laughing.
Quality time.
****
"Are you going to get drunk?"
"Are you?!"
Chatter circulated amongst the bar and most of all back and forth in the group.
Staring at the glistening ceiling lights, your mind zoned out. Catching the warm comforting glow was much easier to face - compared to Bojan - since discovering the pictures. Did Bojan remember the kiss? Is he wanting more? Does he think you're being easy to get? Does--
"Y/n, are you okay?" Sat next to you, Kris kindly asked as the others continued joking about something you weren't paying attention to.
Immediately, you snapped back to reality and stared widely at him, as you did not expect him to ask you that. Quickly composing yourself, you cleared your throat and sat straight.
"Yeah, just daydreaming for a sec," An awkward laugh slipped from your mouth.
"Daydreaming?" Jan teased with his brow arched and a sly smirk, as he seemingly overheard you, pushing everyone's attention on you. "Who's the lucky guy?" He looked at you then Kris.
A tinge of red crept its way across your cheeks, only further egging onto his claim that you were daydreaming of someone. Of course, they didn't know that your daydream was not one of a favourable kind - you just wanted answers, instead of asking yourself the same questions over and over.
Speaking of questions, "How about we play a game of Never Have I Ever?!" Bojan asked and you mentally thanked him as if he saved you from whatever awkward questions would arise, although now you were regretting that too because Never Have I Ever is notorious for doing exactly that.
Nevertheless, he caused the group to erupt in excitement, agreeing. "Okay, we'll start easy," Bojan smiled and pulled his phone out to look up questions.
You decided to play along with it, maybe this could be your way to get some answers. If you were going to play you might as well play the best to your advantage.
The game began.
"Never have I ever..." - Bojan began to laugh - "fucked in a public place?"
Was he doing this on purpose?
"You said you would start easy!" Jure exclaimed, followed by laughter and agreement on the unfairness from the rest, and you simply rolled your eyes at his antics.
"It was the first one I saw! I'm sorry!" He continued to laugh as he held his free hand up defensively. "But you're wrong anyway, it would be easy if you have not done it...so, own up." He leaned on his elbows and rested his chin in his hands, smirking up at his friends.
They glanced at each other expectantly, waiting for someone to own up, but alas, no one did. "Disappointing. Anyway," Bojan took his shot glass and downed it - which meant a yes.
Collectively, the group was just as shocked as each other, before everyone started cheering him on, patting him on the back. "Oh, man, you just chose that to show off!" One of the guys said.
"As long as you used protection I guess..." You said nonchalantly, shrugging, as you still laughed a little. Play it cool, you thought.
"Of course," - Bojan held his pointer finger up as if to tell you to wait and pulled out the band's blue condom they sell on their website from his back pocket - "the only acceptable STD should be seize the day!"
"Oh my god" you muttered under your breath as your face palmed making the group laugh again.
However, one by one you all began to notice Jere's shot has been downed too followed by question upon questions from everyone.
"DAMN JERE I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE LIKE THAT-"
"So tell us!?"
"WHEN? WHERE?!"
"UH- how did I not know of this?!" You questioned amongst the others, equally as eager to find out more, even if you were all being nosy. That's what Never Have I Ever is all about anyway.
Jere cheeks reddened quicker than he could hide them as he prepared to tell you more. "Eh, it's the forest-"
"THE FOREST OF ALL PLACES--"
"What about in the sauna?"
"Meh, Sauna is not always private."
****
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It was your turn again. And you couldn't stop admiring Bojan. By now, you were all tipsy. You clicked the 'randomize question' button on the phone, read the selected question in your head, and instantly smirked as you knew precisely who would perk up again at this question.
"Never have I ever...lost a bet?" Immediately, Jere's face lit up in either embarrassment or recognition (you couldn't tell) as you laughed.
If anyone knew one thing about Jere it was that he had definitely lost more than a few bets while gambling - thus earning him the nickname Käärijä.
So, he took another shot and everyone cracked up. "Yes yes, I am Käärijä, you know!"
"Are you?!" you and Bojan spoke at the same time, making you both look at each other and giggle like little kids.
Seeing this round was getting slightly boring and you weren't finding out more about Bojan, you had a trick up your sleeve.
"Never have I ever...kissed two different guys in one night?"
Oh, he must have been doing this on purpose.
"I mean this could mean guys or girls,"
Ha. Nice save. Yet it was too late, because your leg slowly raised, your heel slightly grazing his trouser leg. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it wasn't.
He locked eyes with you. Almost a glare. Almost a smirk. Almost letting it on to the others that something happened between you two.
Seemingly not getting the juicy answers they wanted, or they already knew them, they had moved on to a different question. Something about weird dreams Jan riding a turtle. Neither of you was paying attention. Why would you when your heel was grazing his leg so tenderly yet so teasingly?
His hands rolled into fists as he tried not to act on whatever thoughts he was having. You couldn't. So you smirked, pleased that you were at least embarrassing him a little like he was with the questions.
However, that question earlier about fucking in a public place was beginning to sound like a joke.
****
A hell of a lot more drinks later and all of you were most certainly drunk...
It happened to be Jere's turn at asking again. He started at the phone momentarily before speaking. "Eh, are you?!" his words slurred slightly as he started giggling. Bojan wheeze out a laugh, jolting his body against the seat as he laughed, leaning into Jere.
You were all in that drunk state where you didn't even know what you were saying and anything and everything became funny.
A waiter came over and said the bar would be closing soon, earning a bunch of boos from the group. 'Good thing restlessness was common amongst the group now.
"Time to go back to the hotel then," Kris began but Bojan interrupted.
"Guys, we're Joker Out, we love to party, hm?!" He quirked an eyebrow, shakily raising up his glass. Everyone glanced at each other momentarily, trying to see if you all agreed.
"It's crazy, it's party!" Jere excitedly approved and as if on cue everyone became equally as excited, cheering and clinking their drinks together one final time and getting up from their seats, making their way to a nearby nightclub Jan suggested.
You trotted along behind but ultimately decided not to go. "I'm sorry I'm just really tired!" You slurred your words, much to their disapproval.
"It's not like you to decline a party," Jere urged, drunkenly slinging his arm around your shoulder, knowing you wouldn't take it seriously but take it as a result of him caring about you. Bojan locked eyes with you again, for the first time since the heel teasing earlier. But you ignored him.
Instead, you opt not to have a sauna sequel. You smile and decline again, explaining that the hotel is just down the road, and saying your goodbyes.
"She's been acting weird lately..." You heard one of them say but you kept on walking to the hotel.
****
The second you plopped down onto your bed, having not even bothered to change clothes, you fell fast asleep. The alcohol in your system clearly wore you out.
An hour later, you jolt awake. You carefully lie back down, wondering what woke you up. You keep your phone on silent so it can't be that. A knock on your door catches your attention. Maybe it was that. Though, you really would have preferred not seeing anyone right now. Maybe a mass murderer is going around knocking on innocent women's doors. And maybe Bojan would save you.
Wait. Did you just say Bojan?
You decide to check your phone. Something compels you to check it. Groggily rubbing your tired eyes the phone light flashes, burning them slightly. Through your dazed vision, you see a dozen texts from none other than Bojan. Huh.
1:05 am: Käärijä is kalsarikännit rn, but not at home. what do u even call that?
1:17 am: *4 missed Facetime calls*
TISSIT
1:20 am: send nudes
1:26 am: HELP. THAT WAS JERE.
1:32 am: HE THREW UP
1:45 am: HE FAINTED LMFAO
1:58 am: hE'S SO HEAVY
But two, in particular, caught your eye...
2:35 am: WE'RE LOCKED OUT OF THE ROOM
2:40 am: SOS
Oh, great.
****
A/N: Definitions:
Tuhma = naughty
Kalsarikännit = getting drunk in your underwear at home
Tissit = tits
I heard that Glögi was his fave drink so I had to mention it :)
Please reblog if you enjoyed reading :)
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lucaslovescats · 14 days
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EUROVISION /SINGERS MASTERLIST!
I write headcannons and fanfics that can be smut, fluff and angst (feel free to request!!!)
★ Back to main masterlist
☆ Sabrina carpenter
☆ Bojan Cvjetićanin (esc 2023)
☆ Käärijä (esc 2023)
☆ Bambie thug (esc 2024)
☆ Joost Klein (esc 2024)
- Mario kart (smut)
- Smut headcannons
(More to be added!)
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Ona | Bojan Cvjetićanin
Pairing: Bojan Cvjetićanin x reader
Summary: Bojan wrote this song about you and preformed it at one of the bands concerts for the first time. Through the song he started to spill his feelings for you for the first time after your breakup and you have a few thoughts.
Warning/s: possible grammar and spelling mistakes, mention of mental breakdown, maybe one curse word, bad breakup.
Author's note: Here is one for out golden retriever beautiful boy. I hope that you enjoy this one! Feel free to send in requests if you want me to make something specific with him. Oh and, btw, here is the translation for this amazing song. Your welcome. 😉
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It was so bright out there, it started to hurt your eyes a little bit. You were standing somewhere in the middle of the crowd watching the love of your love. The love of your life... that you decided to let go because you felt like you weren't good enough.
You were attending yet another Joker Out's concert, but it felt different this time. Maybe because Bojan and you weren't together anymore.
Joker Out was here, in Croatia's capital city of Zagreb. This was the next stop for their concert. This is where the two of you met. Right here in Zagreb on a hot, sunny day in a crowded city. In your hometown. In the breathing country where you were born and raised in.
So here you were. In your hometown where Joker Out was performing. The first time that you heard that they will be performing in Zagreb, it felt like someone punched you in the stomach. But then you felt something different, you felt the need to see him again. Even if he doesn't take a notice in you as you stood in the middle of the crowd that was dancing and singing along. So you decided to go.
The moment that they stepped onto the stage you felt like you would cry. You missed them all so much. You somehow found the strength deep in your soul to look at Bojan. And so you did. He was just so gorgeous. He looked even better then when he did on the day that you left him (Lana Del Rey anyone? No? Okay...). He still had long hair, he was tall and just oh, so handsome. You noticed one thing however, his playful and mesmerizing, so radiant, smile or his playful smirk wasn't pressed onto his face like it always was. It worried you, truly. You watched as they got in their possession and as Bojan took the microphone.
"So... for the first song I will be singing something that hasn't been released just yet." He spoke in Serbian (it's actually very similar to Croatian, you know?) as he watched the crowd go wild with excitement as they claped and shouted and screamed with pure joy, with pure excitement.
"This song is also very special to me." He said, his voice was deep as he looked down in what seems to be sadness.
"It's about a very special person about who, I hate to admit it, I didn't get over and I don't think that I ever will." He paused for a moment so he could take a deep breath so he could continue to speak. "I met her right here, actually. In the beautiful Zagreb a year ago and I can honestly say that I fell for her harder then I ever did for anyone." The crowd was cheering, screaming, in excitement as Bojan introduced Joker Out's unrelated song.
"This one is for her." He said as the rest of the bend slowly started to play the chords. You felt your last bit of your breath leave your lungs as you felt tears pricking in your eyes, your vision getting blurry. You couldn't move. You couldn't breathe. You couldn't think.
But once he met your eyes deep in the crowd, where you stood, just as he started to sing, you felt like you were going to collapse.
Hodam opet njenom ulicom
Brutalno se vuče otkad nisam više s njom
Stanem ispod njenog prozora
Jedna njena senka da me spasi očaja
Bojan was walking around the dark cornered alley in the middle of the night. It must have been midnight by now. As he walked, he could see his breath in the cold of the Zagreb's winter, cold night. As he watched his breath become visible in the cold, dark night, he found himself pulling his dark coat closer to himself. It was truly a good attempt to keep himself from freezing.
Before he knew it, he found himself walking along the familiar road. The road that he walked along too many times to count, but right now, he was all alone. He looked up so he could be met face to face with the moon. It was shining so brightly in the middle of the dark night's sky. It was staring right at him, it seemed like it was mocking him. It was mocking his heartbreak and his loneliness. It was mocking him.
Suddenly, as Bojan looked down, he felt like the last breath was knocked out of his lungs. You were skipping along the frozen road, your steps quickly increasing as you went towards your apartment.
He felt like a staker, even though he wasn't one. He slowely started to go after you, something was pulling him towards you. That invisible pull was there again, just like it first appeared when he saw you for the first time.
After a while, you finally came into your apartment. You leaned against the window with a heavy sigh. Bojan could see you from the street and as he watched you he felt like he was suffocating.
Bojan loved you. You know what? Scratch that. He loves you. He longs for you. He wants you to be safe and as he watched you quitly from down below, he once again exposed his pain for the Croatian girl to the moon. To the moon, to the darkes and the cold winter in the middle of the street.
Nisam ni zaslužio da završimo uživo
Jedna poruka i via more
Snegovi u avgustu sad po meni padaju
Dok tebe sunce greje, mi amore
It felt like it was a good day. Truly. Bojan and you went out to get lunch and to explore the city. You were just hanging out together and it felt so good to do it. However, all good things have to come to an end.
Bojan didn't expect it at all. It struck him like a bolt of lightning. Out of nowhere, just when you think the day is going to be beautiful, and it hit hard. Really hard. In fact, it hit so hard it hurt.
"I'm sorry, Bojan. I really don't want to do this, but I think it's for the best if we break up."
That was it. Bojan could still remember those words echoing in his mind even though you never said them out loud. You told him this through text messages and maybe that's why it hurts even more than it would if you told him that to his face.
You loved him so much. You still love him so much that it hurts. Joker Out was starting to be a big band that has so much potential, and with that came so much more fame. You just didn't want to be in the way. You felt like you weren't good enough for him. You felt like he could do, and deserves, so much better than you. You were so happy with him, in fact, you were happier than you have ever been. But you didn't want to be in the way. So you made a hard choice.
Nobody could ever know, nobody could ever describe the pain, suffering and all that misery that you felt that day. That miserable feeling you felt when you pressed that little "send" button on your phone. As you watched the message being sent, you cried so much that it felt like you were going to collapse. After that you cut all of the contacts with him.
It was for his own good, that's what you told yourself. It's what you always told yourself as you broke down in the middle of your bedroom floor.
Znaj, bebo, znaj
Celu noć sam plakao zbog tebe
Taj osećaj
Da za mene živo ti se jebe
Ubija me
Bojan felt like a part of his soul was ripped away from his body as he read that message over and over again. He cried so much it started to hurt. He has never felt this way before. He hated to admit it, but he has never loved anyone as much as he loves you. It was intoxicating, but most of all it was painful and infuriating.
It lasted too long. Jan didn't know what to do anymore. Bojan just kept on crying, he was crying for so long, in fact, it was already dark outside. Jan was afraid that something was going to happen to him if he doesn't do something. And quick. It looked like Bojan wasn't breathing anymore. His broken soul didn't allow him to take a break, even just so he could breathe.
So Jan panicked and before he knew it, he was calling you up. He watched Bojan from the other room as the grip on his phone tightened. He found himself silently begging you to pick up your damn phone and answer him.
And so you did. After the millionth ring and after about two hundred messages later. You picked up the phone.
Jan told you everything. You were crying before he called you and it took everything in your power to not break down while being on the phone call with Bojan's band mate and your friend. You were practically kicking yourself for your decision, but there wasn't much that you could do.
From that day on, Jan tried everything in his power to get you two to at least meet. And for the first time, in a very long time, he succeeded. He managed to convince you to come to their concert.
In the city where you met.
Znaj, bebo, znaj
Celu noć sam plakao zbog tebe
Taj osećaj
Da za mene živo ti se jebe
Ubija me
Ubija me
As Bojan sang the last few chords of the song, he never broke the eye contact. You felt a few tears betraying you as they ran down your cheeks. Before you knew it, you found yourself whispering the words for which you barely found the strength to say.
"Celu noć si plakao zbog mene." You said, practically out of breath. It felt like you were kicked in your stomach as he continued to hold your gaze. You felt more tears as you found yourself repeating the words you just said.
"Celu noć si plakao zbog mene..." You couldn't do this to yourself anymore. You couldn't do this to him anymore. It was too much. The pain and suffering was getting out of hand.
You had to fix this.
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glorysalazar · 1 year
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No Duolingo, no problem
Jere Pöyhönen / Käärijä x Fem! Reader
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Summary: You moved to Finland a few weeks ago and can't seem to feel at home: you're starting at a new job, you don't understand the language, you're kind of going through a break up... One tired and cold evening you head into the first bar you can find and briefly meet a cute guy you can't stop thinking about for the next few weeks. You try to forget about him, but when you go back to the same bar for some random gig your coworkers have invited you to go to, you find him again. [This takes place way before Eurovision]
Word count: 5.9k
Warnings: English isn't my first language and I got a little lazy mid writing. Also they smoke a vape oops (seriously now don't do it it's shit for your health). Maybe smut implications at the end?
A/N: I didn't know what to name this lmao. I cannot believe I wrote fanficiton for the first time in YEARS because I fell in love with a Finnish guy after watching Eurovision. Anyway, I noticed an enormous shortage of Jere fics and decided to risk my final exams to serve the people. I hope it's worth it! Also apologies if the Finnish translation is shit I used a random website for it lol
Glossary:
"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi" -> "Sorry, you dropped your coat"
"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä" -> "Jere, we are sitting at the back table"
"Olen tulossa" -> "I'm on my way"
"Hetkinen, kiitos!" -> "One moment, please!"
"Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua" -> "Jere, you're on in ten minutes"
"Minä menen nyt" -> "Coming"
"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" -> "Hi everyone, how are we doing today?"
"Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella" -> "Thank you, Mikko, I really appreciate it"
"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" -> "How dare she come here?"
"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" -> "We'll have to make use of it"
"Mikä on sana?" -> "What's the word?"
...
It was cold. Hell, it was colder than she could have ever imagined before coming here. Sure, she had checked the country's temperatures before moving, researched online about what to expect for someone who was used to easy winters, had bought the fuzzy-fur-on-the-inside-boots and the heavy jacket and all that was recommended to face the never-ending snowing. But still, it somehow hadn't been enough.
A job offer and the need to find some new purpose to latch onto had led (Y/N) here. Now three weeks in, with no friends and hardly a place to call her home had helped regret start to settle in. So many things felt out of her control: the way her colleagues seemed to think she was a mess, the cashiers at the supermarket sighing because she still didn't understand the language, everyone from her hometown rolling their eyes when she announced she was leaving in a way that meant you're not gonna make it.
Yet being thrown outside her comfort zone, and being forced to move on however she could manage, made her feel at least some kind of thrive. Which was far more than she had back home.
As she walked down the street for some place to find shelter in, hands shaking and breaths almost uneven, a neon sign caught her attention. Even though she couldn't figure out the name, it looked like a pretty okay bar. She didn't need much convincing anyway; anything would do to get out of this freezing gale. She made her way in.
The warmth was a instant relief. Stripping down from the many layers of upper clothes, she took a quick glance to check the place out. Not many people, which was fair for a Wednesday evening. There was low music playing, mild chatter and a bunch of people sitting alone in the stools, which was a relief. At least she wouldn't be the only one.
As she ordered a beer (one of the few phrases she had made sure to master) she felt her hands come alive again. The beverage came along and she took a long, much anticipated sip. It tasted significantly different from the brands she was used to, but it was just fine. Alcohol is alcohol.
Finally feeling at ease, she took her phone out and started mindlessly scrolling through social media to kill some time. It was still early in the evening since she had just gotten out from work. An extra challenging day is what had led her to wander outside for a bit instead of heading back to the dull apartment she hadn't even been able to decorate yet. Going home right after would've led her to start overthinking if this job was even right for her, if she had gone crazy by moving hundreds of kilometres away from what she's always known, if her ex-girlfriend had been right when she accused her of being too impulsive, if it would be such a bad thing to give it up already and leave—
"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi", she heard a voice say behind her.
When she turned around to give her "sorry I still don't speak Finnish" speech, she was met with a blue-eyed, dark-haired, funky but sweet looking guy holding her jacket, which she now understood had fallen to the floor. It caught her by surprise that she somehow forgot how to speak for a brief moment.
"Oh! Thank you, I hadn't noticed it was on the floor" she ended up answering, taking the jacket back as the man handed it to her with a confused look in his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not from here. I don't speak Finnish yet" she added with a small chuckle.
"No, don't worry, Finnish, uh- hard language to learn" he answered through an amusing smile, with a thick accent and a clear struggle to speak English.
She half laughed at his answer. Until now, people hadn't been so kind about the language-barrier impediment. "Yes, it is a little bit", she followed, now taking in his appearance.
Painted nails. Double nose piercings. Earrings. Facial hair. A bowl cut? Interesting choice, but it suited him surprisingly well. Her brain decided through that brief examination: he was cute. Attractively cute.
"You can try Duolingo. I use for my English, but don't work very very well" the man said the second part more as a correction to himself, making both of them laugh from the random half advice. He tried to fix it: "Maybe for you works better".
"Maybe. I'll check it out. Thank you again" her response was going to be followed by an invitation for him to sit down with her, as she felt a sudden wave of boldness: I need to make some friends in this town or else I'll go crazy. But a group of three other guys that had come in after him caught her stranger's attention.
"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä", one of them said to him, while walking to a table at the back corner of the bar.
"Olen tulossa" he turned around to answer, then looked at her once more, "I go now with my friends. Enjoy your beer" he smiled and small-waved goodbye, as she copied his gesture. "Enjoy your evening".
That small interaction was enough for her to spend the next half hour looking up from her phone, which she had retreated to, to glance at him from time to time. His group of friends and him seemed to be having a good time, and she enjoyed the view of him. He looked like a very interesting person, too, and if she was being honest, she hadn't been struck by someone new in quite some time. Not by her neighbors, not by the people she was starting to coincide with at the grocery shop, not even by her co-workers.
She noticed him looking at her from time to time as well.
When her glass was empty and just as the clock on her phone struck seven, she got up and got prepared to face the freezing wind once again. At least it wasn't that long of a walk to her place.
She lingered for a moment before exiting the bar, then finally did so while warning herself not to get too caught up on the nice stranger she suddenly felt she was leaving behind. It was just a one minute interaction. You probably won't see him again. Quit this teenager act. Focus on the important tasks ahead of you.
It was already pitch black outside, snow accumulated on the sidewalks, the air was even colder than before.
Excitement started to bubble up in the pit of her stomach.
...
Two weeks had gone by and although she had been meaning to return to the bar, she just hadn't find the time to do so. Once the job's training period ended, the hectic rythm started. In her free time, when she wasn't taking care of the house or just resting, she was trying to find some language academy where she could actually properly learn Finnish. Cute guy had been right: Duolingo just didn't do the trick.
She had hoped he would appear around the neighborhood, that maybe he lived nearby. But there had been no luck. It was fine, though. She knew she would let go of it rather quickly at that point, it's not like she had been thinking about his addictive smile or pretty eyes or soft-looking hands. Not at all.
It was Friday, and some acquaintances from work she had managed to pull off had invited her to a small gig. She didn't even remember the musician's name nor did she know where it was going to be, but nevertheless she was happy to go and actually get to have some fun with other people. Who knows, cute guy might even be there.
She didn't even realize they were headed to the bar until they were right in front of it. Inside, a small stage platform had been set up and tables and chairs had been removed to make space for the audience. It wasn't very spacey anyway, the place could hold about a hundred people squeezed together tops.
"Huh, hadn't even thought of this place as a venue" she let her thoughts trail out loud.
"Have you been here before?" her coworker Aubrey, who she had slightly bonded with because she was also a foreigner, asked her. "Only once" the girl explained, already searching for a certain someone's face in the crowd. "So, who have you brought me to see tonight?" she asked, in the hopes of at least getting some conversation non-work related flowing. "I don't really know, coming here was Mikko's idea. He's always trying to get us into these weird small rap-rock Finnish bands, and listen, I've lived here for over a year now and I still don't really get the hype" Aubrey explained making both of them laugh "But it always ends up being fun when we go out" she added.
The rest of the group had moved forward to get a good spot near the humble stage, as Mikko babbled on and on about nonsense the two women couldn't figure out from the distance. "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom real quick. Mind saving me a place?" (Y/N) asked her colleague, who answered affirmatively.
She made her way through the crowd in between "excuse me's" and "sorry's" but got there with quite ease. One of the two toilet doors had a sign that read "Out of order", so she knocked on the one that was left to check if anyone was inside. A voice that sounded vaguely familiar came from the other side: "Hetkinen, kiitos!"
Nervousness suddenly struck her. Is this who I think it is?
When the door opened there was no doubt. Cute stranger was standing in front of her.
"Oh! Hello" he blurted out just as he saw her, sounding surprised. Today he was wearing eye makeup and bottom eyeliner, which suited him very, very well. He has such a pretty face.
She realized now she had not been able to get over this guy in the two weeks of not seeing him, even though she didn't even know his name.
"Hi" was all she could manage to say. She had been looking for him when she entered the bar but she was convinced he was not actually going to be there, "It's good to see you!" she added, as a way of avoiding an awkward silence.
"You as well. You, uh, you come to... concert?" he inquired, struggling to find the last word while pointing towards the direction where the stage was to make sure he was being understood.
She noticed he was wearing an all yellow outfit that consisted of corduroy pants and a button up. He looks good in it.
"Yes, some work friends brought me here. But if I'm being honest I don't even know who's playing" she confessed, slightly covering her mouth with one of her hands to joke around, as if she had spilled a dark secret. Stranger burst out laughing. His laugh was cute. "Do you know if he's good? I wanna know if I'll be wasting my time or not" she asked him, pretending to be a diva to keep his laugh going.
He had his arms crossed and his tongue between his teeth as he slightly giggled. "No, I think he's pretty ok. I think you will like, even if no understand" his answer was playful and accompanied with another small laugh. She continued joking around, this time putting her hands up in pretend self defense "Hey, I'll try my best. Maybe using Duolingo for two days actually did something" she shot back, realizing after saying those words that she had just told Mr. Stranger she had followed his advice.
He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head playfully "You did what I say to you" he stated. "Yes, but you were right. It's not really helpful. Now I just keep getting emails from the goddamn owl and feel scared that he's going to find me and kill me for not going back to the app" she explained exaggeratedly, which made their giggles grow bigger and even he bent his knees with laughter.
Their little chit-chatting was cut when a man who looked like he had been searching for someone stopped in his tracks at the beginning of the bathroom hall and shouted at them: "Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua". She turned around to look at the source of the voice and then back at stranger when he answered "Minä menen nyt". She wished she knew what they were saying, but she assumed it had just been his friend telling him to hurry up. Also, was Jere his name? She had heard it two times already.
"Someone's always calling out for you", she commented when they were left alone again. "It's because me popular, yes yes" he joked, putting a hand to his chest and shrugging. "Listen, I go now. Concert starting soon" he explained, pointing out to the stage's direction once again "I see you there?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he put a hand to her shoulder, looking into her eyes. His blue ones had her mind going blank for a moment. That seemed to happen a lot when he was around. "Uh- yeah, sure, see you there". He smiled again then moved past her to return to the hall. She stared at him leave as she opened the door to the bathroom and finally went inside, smiling to herself and biting her bottom lip.
She hurried back once she was finished not only in fear of missing out the start of the concert, but more so in fear of not finding him again. Aubrey raised her hand to catch her attention and she followed the lead back to the group. The place was packed, it was hot, and there was a lot of chatter going on.
"What took you so long?", Aubrey asked as she got to her side, just in front of the stage, "They're about to start". (Y/N) was standing on her tiptoes and turning her head in all directions. She had just talked to him and the bar was not that big: where the hell had he hid himself?
"There was a long line to the bathroom..." she started off distantly, then turned to face Aubrey "Hey, this is going to sound weird, but have you seen-" just when she was going to make the question, she noticed some people walking up to the stage and everyone started cheering.
As she looked up, she couldn't have been more dumbfounded.
It was him. Mr Stranger was the one performing tonight.
"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" he shouted out to the public, (Y/N) assumed as a way of greeting everyone. He took no time noticing she was right there, which made him grin even wider. "I see we have international people tonight. Good" he said while looking directly at her. She felt her coworkers eyes on her.
"Do you know him?" Aubrey whispered-shouted to her, "I- uh, no, yes? Briefly" she responded back as he continued on in Finnish. She remembered the question she had made him earlier and mentally facepalmed. This cheeky dude. Lying to her face just so he could later get her reaction.
Since there was no way of understanding what he said, she concentrated on what she could see. Two men behind him wearing pink shirts and shorts and sunglasses. A DJ table, no instruments. There was a sign hanging from the wall that read "Käärijä". Was that his artistic name? She was very intrigued by everything going on and wondered what genre he was going to play.
She had no idea what was coming.
As soon as he stopped talking and the music started playing, his demeanor changed. His stare became fiercer, his movements provocative and unleashed. He walked around the stage like he owned it, stared at the audience like he knew they would do whatever he asked them. Every beat before he started singing rumbled inside her, made her hold her breath in anticipation. She let it out once the words started to fall from his mouth.
The lyrics could have been shit for all she knew. His deep voice, the exotic pronunciation, the hard rapping from the boy who had seemed so sweet and wholesome but was now showing another side of him, the song's rhythm and tone. She was all in. So in, that her body started swaying to the sound almost like an automatic response, and jumped around alongside everyone else when the music demanded to do so.
"Ok, he's really good" she said to her coworkers as the crowd sung alongside him. "Mikko, you were right, he's really good" she insisted to the boy beside her, who was clearly enjoying himself. "I told you!" he answered amidst chanting, "Jere is my most talented friend". Oh, okay. Mental note taken.
As he performed his songs, (Y/N) couldn't help but admire the dedication Jere put on and the absolute fun he looked like he was having. Also, she realised he was at least kind of known around here, because people were singng alongside him.
The head banging, self touching, slightly undressing and sticking his tongue out only added more to his eclectic movements and gestures that made the show feel like a mix of energetic, passionate and, why deny it, lascivious state. Her eyes were glued to him in a capitative stare, that he would catch from time to time and hold for a few seconds. Then he would turn to his attention somewhere else, but a smirk would make a clear appearance on his face.
Whenever he finished a number, the loud clapping allowed him some time to take a sip of water. The clothes he was wearing and its material soon became unbearable, which lead him to take his shirt off completely. "Sorry, it is hot in here" he stated into the microphone pretending to excuse himself as a joke, as everyone in the room made a fuss about it. He was heavily sweating all over his face, neck and torso.
If she had previously been absorbed by him, at this point it was almost unbearable. She had not expected to see so much exposed flesh, and the pectoral tattoo nearly had her weak on her knees.
For some reason, freehing himself from his clothes somehow made him behave even wilder from then on out. He started getting closer to the front row, some even holding out their arms to interact with him, him receiving the gesture with no issue. The Fin looked so confident in what he was doing, it only made her feel even more attracted to him.
He moved so quickly (Y/N) didn't even have time to process when he positioned himself right in front of her, amidst performing a song, and full on stroked her cheek for a few lasting moments, all the while mainting direct eye contact. It was as if no one else had been around them, as if this instant had been theirs only. She didn't respond to the touch by touching him herself, since she couldn't find the strength to be as bold; but the breath hitching and swallowing saliva right after were a clear sign to Jere that he made her feel things. He would quite probably feel embarrassed about it later, but right now it made him feel close to powerful.
The whole gig ended on a high note, the applause was strong and lasting. (Y/N) clapped her hands so fast they even started hurting a little, and could understand through the noise that Jere was thanking everyone for coming out to see him. As he was about to exit the stage, some music started playing over the speakers as to signal that the performance was over and everyone could retreat to either leave the bar or get a drink and stay there for a longer while. As the people from the front row turned around and waited to have a chance to move, (Y/N) felt a hand on her shoulder.
Jere looked exhausted, but it also seemed like the whole night had riled him up. "You don't leave now?", he meant to ask, but came out more as a plead. She wouldn't even dream of doing so right now. "No, no, I'm staying" she rushed to answer. "Good. Wait for me?" he went on. She could only manage to nod her head yes. He smiled and quickly went "backstage" to freshen up.
"Okay, what the actual hell was that?" Aubrey took no time to pry her, "It did not look like knowing each other briefly". (Y/N) shrugged while putting her hands in the air and half laughing, not knowing how to beat those allegations.
"It's classic Jere. Finds a girl cute and cannot stop himself" Mikko chimed in, while grinning, "Now I understand, you must be the girl he saw a couple of weeks ago over here, right?"
"He's talked about me?" she said, a bit shocked, while Mikko lead the way for the three of them to go grab a drink. "Yes, well, now that I connect the dots, that evening you came here, it was a Wednesday, right? I came too, but it must've been after you left. When I arrived he was commenting it".
Some of the other coworkers were starting to leave, not without commenting the elephant in the room before grabbing the door. "You're gonna be the talk of the office now", Aubrey asserted, making Mikko laugh and (Y/N) grow redder by the minute. "I don't even- we haven't even talked that much, really. But watching him onstage was..." she trailed off, letting out a sigh and grabbing the drink Mikko offered her, thanking him in the process. "Yes, it's his special trait. That magnetism he holds is what's gonna get him places", he agreed.
"Okay, but does this whole act mean that he always does this? Like, does he take advantage of his concerts to mindlessly flirt with random people?" (Y/N) suddenly tried to rationalize the fast track of actions Jere was taking on with her. Sure, she liked him, and she really, really wanted to have some fun. Needed it, even. This bonding moment with Aubrey and Mikko right now, this non-work related, exciting chatter; the going out; as precipitating as it sounds she was starting to feel like she was finally making friends, establishing a life. But she also didn't want to be played around with.
"Ohhh, no, not necessarily" her coworker laughed, calming her down "Käärijä the performer is seductive, provocative, even uncontrollable" he took a sip from his drink, "But Jere the person is another story. Dude wouldn't even hurt a fly, I mean it" he reassured her. He then was about to say something else, but stopped on his tracks when they all noticed the man of the hour and the tow men who had performed with him coming over to them. However, he quickly commented to the girls the following before Jere could hear them: "If anything, he's the one who has been played around with".
Jere approached Mikko first, going in for a hug, which made total sense given the fact that they were friends. (Y/N) appreciated it, because his last comment had caught her by surprise. He had changed into some track pants and graphic loose t-shirt, and over all he already looked far more calmed down and back to his more, to put it some way, innocent self. Aubrey and (Y/N) exchanged a look before introducing themselves to the guys in pink, who had not changed their outfits. Their names were Jaakko and Aleksi.
"Hey, I recognize you. You were all in the bar that day I was here" she said as a realization. "Yes, we were planning tonight" Aleksi answered, "Did you like it?" he added, to both her and Aubrey.
While the four of them engaged in small talk, the girls understood that Mikko was congratulating his friend on his performance and Jere was thanking him, "Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella", he said with appreciation on his face, closed smile and big puppy eyes (Y/N) couldn't ignore. With one last ruffle on his hair from Mikko, the two men stayed with one arm over the other's back and turned to the group.
"Alright, let's talk in English now so we can all understand each other..." Mikko started off. "I see you guys have already introduced yourselves, very good. Now let me introduce you girls to Käärijä himself, although maybe a certain someone doesn't need it" he playfully remarked, making Jere look away while hiding his face and (Y/N) roll her eyes. "Jere, these are (Y/N) and Aubrey from work. Aubrey, (Y/N), this is Jere" he played around using a formal tone and letting out of their embrace.
"Nice to meet you" Aubrey answered, shaking hands with him and gently pushing (Y/N) forward once she was done to signal her to do so as well.
"I finally know your name" he commented, making her chuckle, "Yes, I guess you do". Mikko and Aubrey swiftly moved to give them some space, going over to Jaakko and Aleksi, who were all in in the same unspoken plan.
"You like the show?" he seemed a bit nervous as he rested his elbow on the counter and signaled the waiter to get him a drink, while attentively listening to her answer, "Honestly, I'd never been to one quite like this. I mean, I've been to rock concerts and such, but this energy you guys put on stage was totally new for me. I really enjoyed it tho, you're really good" she sincerely said.
"Oh, thank you, really" Jere put a hand to his chest as to show gratitude, "It was first concert after months of not doing", he further explained, "So means a lot all people who come here, yes. I'm so happy for this, I was worried if not work well". He sounded so humble (Y/N) couldn't help but grow to like his personality even more. She was curious to know why he hadn't played in a way, but also didn't want to intrude, so she opted for another response. "Well you should be. We all had a blast".
"You understand anything I sing?" he wondered with a perky smirk, before taking a sip from the beer that had just landed in front of him. "I didn't need to", she let it out without giving it a second thought, almost as if this was the only real answer she could give, which to her felt absolutely true. He was shocked by it and spilled some of the drink out, quickly catching the dripping by covering his mouth with a napkin.
"Ah, I make fool of me now, great!" he tried to cover up by playing down the incident. She couldn't stop laughing out loud, some people even noticing the whole scene between the two of them, specially Mikko and company who laughed as well from a distance, "That's what you get for lying to me before" she joked, but grabbed a napkin as well to clean his shirt up, softly patting it on his chest. "Sorry, I wanted to surprise" he justified. It was in that moment that she noticed they were almost the same height. When her gaze moved upward from the stain she was cleaning up, his stare was way closer than she had thought. He carried on talking.
"Also, before, I hope I not make you... uh-, mikä on sana epämukavalle?" he looked over at Mikko for help regarding a language inquire.
"Uncomfortable"
"Yes, that" Jere said, "I hope I not make you uncom... uncomfortable when I, you know-" he tried to explain himself, struggling with the pronunciation. He stroked his own cheek to interpret what he attempted to say. "Oh! No no, don't worry, it was- it was okay. I liked it, actually", his relief was evident after she assured him. He let out a nervous giggle.
Then, something caught his attention. His gaze had travelled to the door, past (Y/N), and what he saw made his face turn dead serious, although also sad. Mikko, Aleksi and Jaakko very quickly noticed what was happening. Aubrey and (Y/N) also turned around to check it out: a girl was standing by the entrance looking for someone with a worried expression.
"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" Jaakko expressed angrily. The three men addressed Jere, who suddenly was a loss of words and course of action.
"Ex alert" Aubrey whispered to (Y/N) while sipping from her drink's straw. "They're asking him if he wants to go talk to her" she informed her friend, which (Y/N) was thankful for. It was really tiring to not catch anything on her own sometimes. While the four men were talking to each other, deciding what to do next, (Y/N) grabbed Jere's arm and everyone's attention fell on her. She just couldn't stop strongly empathizing with him because she had also recently been through a break up and knew how shitty it was. Jere seemed more at ease when she talked, "Are you okay? Do you want to get out of here?" he looked past her again, everyone following his direction and realizing his ex was coming over to them. "I do, please", "Then we're getting out of here", (Y/N) decided, "You guys coming?" she asked the rest. "No, you guys go on. We'll make sure she doesn't follow" Mikko stated, thankful for her determination.
They said rushed goodbyes and (Y/N) got ahold of his hand to guide him towards the door. When they walked past her, she tried to talk, but they were quick to get out.
As per usual, it was freezing. They started to wander off to anywhere.
...
"I'm sorry about having to go"
They had found a comfortable spot in a park overlooking the town's river and had settled there. They had walked for a while, him trying to talk about anything else but his ex.
"Don't sweat it. I fully understand" she comforted him, then took the vape he had previously offered to her and took a puff before continuing, "I got broken up with three months ago... I hate to admit it, but it's part of the reason I ended up deciding to move here", she explained. He listened to her attentively, with a stern face.
The night was silent over here. It was only the sound of the stream and their hushed voices
"Can I ask why the break up?" he inquired, not wanting to pry on too much. "Only if I can ask why the break up", she made him chuckle. "Yes, of course" he accepted.
"She said I was too impulsive and that she couldn't trust me to maintain a steady and stable relationship, because I couldn't even do that with my own life" she sighed after her explanation and rolled her eyes.
"Wow" Jere said, disapproving look on his face "Hard thing to say".
"Yes, but honestly, I don't hold a grudge anymore. She had her right to think that way too. I do so too sometimes" she admitted, handing back the electronic cigarette, since they were taking turns to smoke.
"That's shit" he commented, which made them both laugh, "But I understand, too. "My ex, Sofia, that's her name, she uh- said she not approve of music career" his gaze moved upfront, "She said It's either me or music, and I think she not like my answer" Jere let out a half-sad cackle, "This is all I ever wanted to do. I loved her, I feel like I still do a bit, you know? But..." he nodded negatively before finishing the sentence, "I need someone who give support. What I told you before, the not doing concerts? A part of it was because I got, uh, insecure".
Silence fell between them as they both got lost in their own thoughts for a brief moment.
"You know, for someone who claims to not be good at English, you can maintain quite a deep conversation" her words made him belly laugh again. He looked at her and handed the vape once more. "Don't need Duolingo for that" he referenced. He was about to speak again but cut himself. "You can go on, it's fine", his doe-like blue eyes seeped cherishment.
"Oh, I not know, talking about ex was not in my plans when being alone with a girl I like" he made her blush, "I just thinking that, you know, I'm almost... mikä on sana" he struggled again with the language "Thirty year old?" he doubted if he had said it right, and the girl nodded to indicate him he had, "Thirty year old, and when younger I thought Oh, I achieve my dreams at thirty, have the family, all that... You know? And... nothing of that" he described, "My songs, some say that. But you not understand, so..." he added jokingly to lighten the mood, erupting laughter from her.
"Hey, I'm trying really hard to find a place where I can learn Finnish! Give me a break..." she defended herself, while the giggling from both of them died down. "But, just so you know, most of us feel this way too. Having your life figured out at thirty? That only happens to the lucky ones, I can assure you" she saw his tired expression and put a hand to his shoulder, "And by the way, you're crazy talented. We were all mesmerized by your performance. You can get to whatever place you want to be, and if you don't, well... It won't be because of your fault".
They were once again looking in each other's eyes. His gaze travelled down to her mouth. They were sitting close to one another as to avoid the cold wind. Her heart beat faster. How come did she feel like he had known him for such a long time if this was practically their first ever proper conversation? Yet she couldn't fight it. She had seen so many sides of him in such a short amount of time; she swore she'd never been that much of a romantic but the alcohol, mixed with how vulnerable they both felt in that moment and the fact that she was finally feeling at ease after more than a month of such a big change in her life, probably did the trick.
"Can- can I...?" he started nervously, but was interrupted.
"Yes"
Their lips crashed, finally killing the anticipation. Her hands cupped his face and his ones settled on her waist. She felt his long eyelashes touch her face, his beard tickled her jaw and his hoop piercing was cold on her nose. (Y/N) enjoyed feeling all these parts of Jere on her. He truly was so pretty. And suddenly, she wanted to make sure he knew just how pretty he was and how much he deserved to know it. The wave of boldness she had had to ask him to sit down with her those two weeks ago, but had been interrupted, came back as a stronger force.
When they separated to catch their breath, (Y/N) kept his face close to hers. He was panting through a timid smile and hot red burned his cheeks. She noticed her face doing the same thing.
"My apartment is a five minute walk from here" she suggested.
"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" he whispered, hands going up and down her sides, and the Finnish language had never sounded so seductive to her.
"I didn't catch that",
"You don't need to. I will show you".
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lunafoster · 1 year
Text
Oh No
AN: So I can’t stop thinking about them *cough* ESC 2023 contestants *cough* and this came out. I’m so sorry.
AN2: yes, I’m from Europe if anyone was wondering; also, excuse my English but it’s not my first language.
Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!actress!reader
Surprise in the end!
Words: 1500+
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Bojan couldn’t wait.
He was ecstatic, unable to keep himself still as he was being driven to the airport in Liverpool.
“Will you stop moving,” Jan sighed, nudging him with his elbow.
“He hasn’t seen her in a month, Jan,” Nace retorted, “of course he’s excited.”
He couldn’t even answer to them as his bandmates continued arguing over if he should or shouldn’t be this nervous about seeing his girlfriend again. After all, he was going to see her today, and that just made him so giddy he couldn’t focus on anything else.
The thing is, she had been away in America, filming a new TV show that would undoubtedly be loved by the public once it was out; so she couldn’t exactly accompany him in his Eurovision journey since him and his friends were elected in Slovenia.
He was so proud of her for making it into another soon-to-be hit show, but he missed her so very much during the last month. It’s true they tried calling each other every chance they had, but the time difference and their busy schedules didn’t let them be part of each other’s lives as much as they were used to.
Bojan couldn’t wait to give her the biggest hug and all the kisses he couldn’t give her when they were apart. He cringed at himself at the thought. That was disgusting.
“Hey!” A clap resounded in the air just millimetres away from his face.
“What?”
“We’re here,” Kris told him, clapping his shoulder.
He looked around. He was the only one left in the van. The Slovene swallowed thickly. Why was he so nervous about meeting her?
He walked out of the vehicle, following the rest of his bandmates inside the airport and wringing his sweaty hands together.
They had all been careful, not saying anything on social media or giving away the fact that she was coming, even if he wanted to scream it at the world. He hadn’t even told any of the new friends he had made because of Eurovision. All of this wasn’t because their relationship was a secret, it couldn’t be further from that, but they didn’t want that much attention at their first meeting in a month. One never knows how he’s going to react.
When he arrived at the correct place with his best friends, he heard Jan asking him:
“Do you know if she’s already landed?”
He shook his head and grabbed his phone, realising he had a message from two minutes ago telling him she had, in fact, landed.
He put his phone away, staring directly at the exit doors the people from her flight would be using.
“I’m taking that stupid grin as a ‘yes, she’s landed’.”
Bojan nodded but didn’t look away, his eyes stinging. He refused to blink, what if he didn’t see her?
Big groups of people started getting out through the doors, Bojan getting more anxious as time passed and she didn’t appear. What if she changed her mind, all this time away from him making her realise she didn’t need him?
He didn’t have time to dwell on it, though. He saw her, carrying her luggage around with tired eyes that changed the second they landed on him.
A big smile spread across her cheeks as she started running towards him, leaving her suitcase near the rest of his bandmates and jumping up. He started chuckling the moment he felt her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, reacting and putting his own hands below her to support her weight on him.
For long moments, they stayed like that, breathing each other in and feeling the warmth of the other’s skin on theirs; ignoring the other men’s cheers and puking sounds.
She was the first to move, removing her head from the junction between his shoulder and neck and smiling up at him with a shine in her eyes.
“Hi!”, she exclaimed.
“Hello,” he smiled back.
She noticed the soft look in his eyes, the small but genuine smile on his lips, it made the butterflies in her belly push against her skin, wanting to be able to touch him and be with him even closer than she was now.
“Are you not going to say anything about the rest of us?” Jure let out, feigning annoyance but with a huge smile on his face.
“I don’t know about that…,” she couldn’t help but match his energy, slowly getting down from her boyfriend’s embrace and going over to the guys, giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Why do they get a kiss?” Bojan asked half jokingly half seriously wandering why he couldn’t get one, “I’m your boyfriend! Your boyfriend!”
“Alright, alright… don’t be a big baby, love.”
“No!”
They drowned out the sound of the boys’ whines as they did, in fact, kiss. Bojan couldn’t help but tighten his grasp on her when she started to move away from him, chasing after her lips and giving her another sweet peck before she could escape him.
When he opened his eyes, he saw hers were still closed, a pink flush dusting over her cheeks. She opened her eyes and he saw the entire universe in them. His world.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Jan said, exasperated, “let’s go back to the hotel.”
“And no more kissing,” Kris added, “please.”
The couple laughed at the disgusted faces with which the rest of the group agreed, her taking his hand and following them to the van.
The rest of the day was spent meeting and getting to know the other ESC participants, as her boyfriend and his band had insisted so much in it.
They did leave her luggage in his hotel room first, but right after that they went to meet the band Voyager, and then Alessandra, Vesna, Blanca Paloma, and the rest of them.
She had had fun with all of them and sung a little of their songs with their respective artists, since she had heard them all countless times before.
The only one who she hadn’t met yet was the Finnish contestant, who she was the most curious about. She had to admit she enjoyed the vibe of his song the most (even more than her boyfriend’s, but she wouldn’t admit it to anyone), and he seemed like a great guy whenever Bojan talked about their hang outs.
Apparently, Käärijä had been gone the whole morning, no one knowing where he had gone off to at all. Her boyfriend wanted her to meet him, after all, the Finn had quickly become one of his best friends, sharing his energy and sense of humour.
“Guys!” Alessandra ran to them when they were coming back to the hotel from having lunch outside, “there’s gonna be a party today! The hotel’s throwing it for us!”
“We’ll go for sure, right?” Jure looked at his mates and the girl.
After they all agreed, Alessandra invited them for coffee and they went along with her, chatting about any topic that came to mind.
“What are you gonna wear tonight?” the Norwegian singer asked her.
“I’m not sure, I don’t think I have anything party-appropriate in my suitcase…”
“We’ll see about that, let’s go get it and to my room! I’m gonna make you look amazing!” She said excitedly, taking her hand and leading her upstairs, leaving the boys startled but laughing either way.
When it was time for the party, the girl went back to her boyfriend’s hotel room with the outfit her and Alessandra had come up with. She liked it, as it was comfortable but also dressy enough to wear to a party.
She knocked twice.
Her boyfriend opened the door, a black sweater, black jeans and black boots on.
“Oh no! They made her emo!” She said in English.
“Shut up!” He chuckled, pushing her playfully and fake-glaring at her.
She giggled and pushed him back. They ended up full on laughing in the middle of the hotel’s hallway, earning a few weird glances from people walking by.
When they calmed down enough to start talking normally again, Bojan extended his arm for her to take.
“Shall we go?” He asked in the most British accent he could muster.
“We shall,” she answered.
That’s how they found themselves having dinner with his band mates and the rest of the Eurovision contestants and technicians. Still, the Finn was nowhere to be seen.
“Have you seen Jere today?” ALIKA asked Bojan, a slight worried look in her eyes.
“Not really. I was gonna ask you the same thing, honestly.”
The Estonian singer let out a small sigh, continuing to eat while chatting away with the rest of the people at their table.
“Maybe something happened?” His girlfriend asked him, worried too after learning that no one knew where the guy was.
“We should probably check,” he replied, “when we finish, yeah?”
She nodded, going back to eat and watching her boyfriend do the same.
When the party started, Bojan and her went to the Finnish rapper’s door, knocking but hearing no response.
Giving up after a handful of tries, they went back to the party and tried to forget about it. Surely, they’d see him tomorrow, wouldn’t they?
However, tomorrow quickly turned into today when they caught a glimpse at the bowl-cut black hair and they headed towards Käärijä so that Bojan could properly introduce her to him.
“Jere! Finally man, you disappeared the whole day!”
“We go see Liverpool with my brother,” he said, smiling at the sight of the Slovene.
“That’s great!” Bojan smiled too, “you could’ve said something, though, didn’t answer my texts.”
“Sorry,” his smile turned sheepish.
That’s when he turned to her; the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, smiling at him with her eyes sparkling.
“This is my girlfriend,” his daydreaming got cut off by Bojan speaking.
Oh no.
“Hello,” he greeted, “you are beautiful,” slipped through his lips. He just had to say it, couldn’t hold it in.
Bojan huffed out a small laugh at that.
“Thanks!” She giggled cutely.
Oh no.
“I think you’re pretty cool, too!” She said in a perfect Finnish.
He was fucked.
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Part 2
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Text
Anthem of the day [BC]
A/N: No one specifically asked for this I really just wanted it myself! Not a Joker Out expert so sorry if details are wrong or whatever but I'm in love with Bojan, and a clemswinecorner post isn't a clemswinecorner post without some F1 references.
yourusername
Baku
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liked by bojan_cvjeticanin , wbuxtonofficial and others
yourusername TrackTV day 1!! (Plus the press conference ;) What. A. Quali. The anthem of the day was It Wasn't Me - Shaggy! What was yours tagged maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, schecoperez
posted April 28th, 2023
randomf1fan tututudu... Max Verstappen motorsportsfan i want this life randomdriver Party Rock Anthem🔛🔝 hater stop posting only drivers you think are hot yourfriend how was work today bestie? can't wait to see you again x
yourusername chaotic. (i'll stop by in london next week x) randomfan are you not going to be in Miami?
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yourusername
England
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liked by yourbestfriend, georgerussell63 and others
yourusername touchdown in England! lil' pause from the hectic tracks for some other hectic things :) Anthem of today: ...Baby One More Time by the iconic Britney Spears! What was yours? tagged yourbestfriend
posted May 1st, 2023
randomfan enjoy your small break!! any fun plans? yourbestfriend aahhhhhh i missed you sm!! motorsportsfan whatttt i was so excited to see you on trackTV this weekendddd :(( bojan_cvjeticanin how funny! we have the same anthem 😲😲 fanofyours omg miss gurl is this a soft launch? anotherfriend you're in london and didn't even text me? smh
yourusername omg wait text me!! not in london anymore but might make it work
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yourusername
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liked by krisgusti, maemuller and others
yourusername London -> Liverpool Anthem of the day: I wrote A Song - Mae Muller
posted May 3rd, 2023
motorsportfan why aren't you in Miami???? yourfriend aaahhhh yayayayay!! Call me so I can talk to the boys before they're too busy for me x randomfan omg Y/N in her eurovision era? yourfan i can't with the softlauuuunch krisgusti hahaha you did some people dirty with that second slide
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yourusername
Liverpool, UK
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liked by lissiemackintosh, juremacek and others
yourusername Loverpool <;3 tagged krisgusti, juremacek, nace_jordan, joker_out_official, bandwildyouth
posted May 6th, 2023
yourusername anthem of the day is obviously Lover (by Taylor Swift, for the uneducated ones) maemuller queenie 👸🏻 jokeroutfan omg she's hanging out with joker out??? how do they know each other??? motorsportsfan Y/N really is such a main character because wdym she's hanging out with eurovision contestants on her break?? nace_jordan 😎😎😎 wbuxtonofficial enjoy the break with your 'lover' ;)
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yourusername
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liked by bojan_cvjeticanin, joker_out_official and others
yourusername Second Semi-Final night!! Good luck to my boys 🩷🩵 🇸🇮 SSF!!! ANTHEM OF THE DAY CARPE DIEM BY JOKER OUT !!!!! tagged juremacek, bojan_cvjeticanin, nace_jordan, krisgusti, janpeteh, joker_out_official
posted May 11th, 2023
janpeteh thank you Y/N 🙏🏼❤️ randomfollower Y/N IS A JOKER OUT STAN?????? (so valid though)
anotherfollower wdym stan they're FRIENDS?????? how did she do that???? randomfollower she shaw joker out and decided stanning them wasn't enough she had to befriend them
bojan_cvjeticanin Hvala 🤍 motorsportfan this is suuuuch a random crossover omggg yourbestfriend send them a luck hug on my behalf!!
krisgusti thanks you both <33
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yourusername
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liked by paidatonriehuja, nace_jordan and others
yourusername TO THE FINALS!! almost had a heart attack (just like the boys), but so so proud of the boys @/joker_out_official (Don't forget to vote Slovenia saturday!!!!!!!!!!) tagged krisgusti, juremacek, bojan_cvjeticanin, janpeteh, nace_jordan, paidatonriehuja
posted May 12th, 2023
jokeroutfan LFGGGG SO PROUDDDD krisgusti thank you for your continuous support for all 5 of in this progress, so glad to have you with us 🥰 🥰
yourusername kris i love you so much stop😭😭
randomfan don't follow eurovision but I'll vote for them if Y/N tells me to 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ bojan_cvjeticanin ❤️❤️❤️ yourfriend so proudddd!!!!
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yourusername
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liked by lukeblackmusic, whothehellissalena and others
yourusername eurovision out 🫡 what. a. fucking. adventure. (anthem of this eurovision: Because Of You) tagged paidatonriehuja, bojan_cvjeticanin, krisgusti, juremacek, maemuller, nace_jordan, janpeteh, joker_out_official, whothehellisteya
posted May 14th, 2023
yourusername for those wondering yes I did watch quali during the show yesterday, girl's gotta keep her job x randomfollower y/n casually befriending every eurovision artist 😭😭 maemuller it was always a blast when you were around! loved meeting you and spending time with you queenie 👸🏻
yourusername no you!! giving you a call when i'm back in the uk xx
randomfan obsessed with the last pic nace_jordan whooooo!!! awesome time jokeroutfan i always love your f1 grwm videos! was just curious, how do you know joker out?
yourusername ahhh thank you!! i made a eurovision grwm storytime about it, but long story short my friend (who's slovenian) showed their songs and i found out most of them followed me on ig and we became friends :)
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continuation
other social media works & main writing masterlist
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hxllfires-gifs · 8 months
Text
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PAIRING. bojan cvjetićanin x fem!reader
SUMMARY. eurovision was a stressful time of the year and it was unlike anything bojan had dealt with before, but he was thankful to have his lovely girlfriend along with him to help him.
WORD COUNTER. 847
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THE JOURNEY TO the Eurovision Song Contest in Liverpool hasn’t been easy and it had been pretty stressful. Bojan Cvjetićanin was attempting to make the best out of any stressful situation but he started to feel like he was emotionally and physically drained. Joker Out had just finished their rehearsals for the day and he was ready to go back to the hotel.
He walked backstage and was met with his girlfriend Y/N. The two started dating three years ago and he loved every minute of it. Their relationship was one of the best things in his life and he never wanted to give it up. She was his number one supporter. He was beyond grateful for her and he was the happiest knowing that she was experiencing all of this with him and their friends.
Y/N enjoyed watching her boyfriend’s performance, feeling so proud of him every single day. She felt so lucky to call him her boyfriend and she would be the first person to express that. Her lover always worked so hard, as did his band mates.
The H/C haired girl stood up and walked closer to her boyfriend to hug him. She was honored to have gotten to come along with him to Liverpool, but she could tell that he’d been more tired recently. The girl didn’t fully understand the pressure but she wanted for him to know that she was there for him.
“You guys killed it!” She complimented.
“Thank you,” Bojan responded with a small but exhausted smile.
He went to change into more comfortable clothes before sitting down on the nearby couch, soon being joined by his girlfriend. It was no secret that he was excited about the contest but he was also feeling a little more nervous now that it was just a week away. He hid behind a calm and energetic demeanor but inside he was going through everything all at once.
“Are you ready to go back to the hotel?” A gentleness was laced in the girl’s question. She was always like this with him when he got like this.
Her boyfriend didn’t speak in response, only nodding his head slightly. He was really starting to feel the pressure of wanting to do well. He wanted to have fun and he was doing a good job with that, but Eurovision was the biggest thing in Europe, at least music wise. Representing Slovenia was a huge honor and challenge.
Y/N kissed Bojan’s cheek before she leaned her head on his shoulder. She could tell that he needed something to cheer him up and get him back in good spirits, which is something that seemed like her specialty when it came to her boyfriend.
“You are doing amazing, my love. I know that it’s hard sometimes but you’re here for a reason. You guys were selected for this so everyone else knows how great you are. You just have to let yourself believe this too. I am so proud of you.”
Her words made the brunette feel better, a lot more than he was before. She had that effect on him since she always seemed to know what to say in any situation. He did not know what he would do without her and he never wanted to find out. She was the one for him, he was sure of that.
She lifted her head back up when she felt Bojan turning his own to look at her. He leaned forward to press his lips onto her own in a gentle, loving kiss. There was this deep trust that had been established between both of them. Neither of them ever wanted the other to feel negative feelings and they would always be there for each other.
The H/C haired girl moved away slightly, wanting to take in the Slovenian’s features. One of her hands reached up to play with his hair. Bojan enjoyed the feeling and it was something that could put him to sleep in the right situation, one such as this.
“We should go back to the hotel.” He was the one to suggest since he didn’t want to fall asleep with so many people around. He just wanted to be in his lover’s arms, which she honestly wanted as well.
Y/N didn’t blame her boyfriend for wanting to leave the venue. “We will, I just need to tell the guys first. You guys do not have any press today so all should be good. We can watch some tv and cuddle until we fall asleep. You look like you could use a little nap.”
“That sounds great.” He loved the idea a lot more than he let on.
“Alright,” she whispered before pecking his lips and standing up, going to find and talk to his band mates.
It didn’t take long for her to come back, the both of them leaving as soon as they could. Staying true to her words, once they got back to the hotel, Y/N turned the tv on and the couple cuddled, eventually falling asleep for the next couple of hours.
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volturiwolf · 7 months
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Ker si en delček vzela s seboj - Bojan x fem!musician!reader - part 1
A/N: Sentences/words written in italics are in their native languages, or to emphasize a few things.
A/N 2: AI was mostly used to write the lyrics, I changed a few things.
A/N 3: Not everything is accurate/according to what actually happened. Many things are made up, like this story.
A/N 4: This story and the way the characters play out have nothing to do with the real people. This is an imaginary story, in an imaginary world, with imaginary situations.
This series contains explicit/mature/adult content (use of drugs and alcohol, explicit material, swearing, etc).
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“But I got my power in my hand / You hold no power over me
And I’ll take my flowers while I can / So let the love shower over me”
Dilja’s song had to be one of my favorite but most underrated songs of this year’s competition. She was not even 21,5 and her voice was pure power. She was performing right after us, so I got to watch her from the side, as soon as we got off stage because I didn’t want to miss a thing.
“Hey, (Y/N). Come on, everyone went back in the box.” Alex nudged me a bit to get my attention.
The ‘box’ wasn’t a box per se; it was a designated area for all the Eurovision acts to hang out during the Barcelona pre-party, surrounded by fans, other contestants, and past contestants. It had soft sofas, and tables full of snacks and drinks. Thank God, because I was already feeling my feet hurting from all the sightseeing we did yesterday.
“Give me a sec. She’s almost done.” I was moving around on my own, trying to be as respectful as I could during Dilja’s performance. 
Once she finished, I clapped along with the audience and waited for her as she walked off stage to give her a congratulatory hug. We walked towards the box to meet the others as ‘Wild Youth’ was ready to take the stage.
It was only the first of the ESC Pre-Parties but we were all lucky to stay in the same hotel, so I got to meet the others in the hotel lobby two days ago. Our band, ‘Kitty Revival’, which was representing Greece, arrived a few days before the others, so we had some time to explore the city on our own.
I hadn’t been here in almost 9 years (tomorrow, it would be 9 years actually) and I was excited to see all the places I didn’t get to see when I was here on my last-year school trip.
Dilja and I got along from the beginning and got to do some sightseeing together. My sister also came along as she was the only one who spoke Spanish and I had once promised her to take her to Barcelona sometime in the future. She was only a year older than Dilja so they had a few things in common - more than Dilja and I actually.
Until now, I had met all of the acts at the pre-party, and I had made some friends - mostly Dilja, Mae, Iru, and Joker Out. Most of them were younger than me, but we still had a lot to talk about, like living the whole Eurovision experience - or at least, part of it.
Greece hadn't been participating in the pre-parties, but I really wanted to take the chance. It didn’t only mean song promotion, but also PR and getting to know the other participants. We practically had to beg the Greek delegation to let us participate in the pre-parties because they actually thought we shouldn’t. 
As Dilja went to sit next to Mae, I went to sit next to my bandmate, Alkmini “Mini”, but Jan from JO quickly took over the seat. I raised my brow at him, but he just shrugged and pointed towards his old seat, next to Bojan, his bandmate.
I turned towards Mini. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
She simply nodded and I went to sit next to Bojan. The Slovenians had already performed first out of everyone else, so he was now stretching comfortably, but the moment he saw me, he moved a bit to make some space for me. “Thanks”, I murmured, hoping he’d hear it.
“You were amazing out there!”, Bojan tried to speak over Ireland’s song but he ended up screaming a tad too loud, trying to sneak his arm around me. Thankfully, I was used to the loudness and didn’t mind, but his arm made my heart race involuntarily.
I turned towards him to watch him smiling brightly, looking dazed and mesmerized, making me wonder how many drinks he had already. I could already see that Kris - who usually looked very mature for being the youngest one - was on the verge of being wasted already, screaming and dancing around. And we weren't even at the actual party that was gonna be just us.
Bojan was a natural flirt and could mesmerize anyone - I got that from the very first moment we met, and I wasn’t going to deny that he was so good-looking, and how he was slowly but surely making me let my guard down.
I leaned towards his ear. “How many drinks did you have already? We still have a long way to go until the end of the night. We still have an actual party to go to later"
“I had a few. Don’t worry. I can handle my alcohol.” His breath was tickling my ear, and I felt goosebumps as he laughed with himself. I couldn't help but smile at him.
He went on to talk about all the places they visited with his bandmates, the 'Wild Youth' and the ‘Sudden Lights’ guys today; some of which I had already visited. He kept telling me that he was 'too excited' to see all these amazing places and practice his Spanish with the locals.
"Though I wish you could come with us, as well. I mean you…your bandmates and you. Not you, you, as in you, (Y/N). You know what I mean?" Bojan was laughing awkwardly, trying to deal with his sudden embarrassment.
"I know. I wish we could come with you guys, but my bandmates insisted that we had some extra rehearsals for today. It's the first time we play outside of our usual area range, and everybody's kind of nervous about the whole thing. We mostly had people who speak Greek listening to our music and coming to our gigs, so this is totally different."
Bojan let out a giggle that made my heart thrill. "I totally get what you mean. Don't worry about anything. Your guitar skills are magija, magic, and your song is really good. I love hearing it. I love hearing you sing. Even if it's only in the back." Bojan moved a little closer at this point.
I didn't know how to feel about him at that moment. I wanted to lean closer to him, but it felt a bit out-of-character for me, and not entirely appropriate, given the time and place. I gave him an awkward thumbs-up and excused myself before I acted out of instinct that should not come to the surface.
I walked in front of Mini and gave her a signal to follow me. We walked to the bathroom, where it was significantly quieter than the box or the pit. I could think better here where I wasn’t overwhelmed with sounds, feelings, touches, and smells.
“Your cheeks are a tad red. You're flustered. What happened?” Mini had a talent for knowing how I felt without me saying a word, so there was no point in hiding the truth from her. We have been playing in the same band for over a decade now, so it made sense that she learned to “read” me well, even when I wasn’t trying to show any emotion.
“I think Bojan is flirting with me? Or not? I cannot really get him. He seems flirty with everyone - without actually flirting, you know? - but he’s more…expressive to me? He has confused me.” Maybe I was exasperating but the Slovene made me feel…things already, and I didn’t want to be just me, imagining things that weren’t there.
“Well, I do think he’s acting 'flirty' with you. And many others. But he hasn’t been like that with me, or Alex, or Dimi, or Stef. Just you from the band.”
“So? What do you think?”
“I honestly don’t know. Was he like that on the first day? When we went sightseeing?”
I tried to think of yesterday when we got into the mini-tour bus the party organizers booked for us and went around the town with Joker Out, Wild Youth, Sudden Lights, Tvorchi, Iru, Dilja, and Mae. We started early in the morning so we'd have enough time to see everything.
I was supposed to sit with the girls in the last row, but it was already taken by Jure, Jan, Conor, Andrii, and Jimoh. So, now we all had to split.
Iru and Mae sat together, and Dilja sat with my sister; Ed decided to sit next to our tour guide, with Callum and David close by.
I wasn’t annoyed by that; I was going to sit with Mini either way, but, at the last minute, she chose to sit with Dimi, leaving Alex and Stef to sit together. Okay, I would sit on my own - no issue with that.
Okay, I was annoyed; it reminded me of my school years, being the last one to get selected for anything. I couldn’t wait for the bus to start, so I wouldn’t have to think about being alone, not being chosen, and such, even if it wasn't supposed to be for long.
Against my initial thoughts, I felt someone sit next to me. I pretended I didn’t notice, but then they tapped my shoulder and I had to turn to look at them. To my surprise, it was Bojan who sat next to me.
I raised my glasses to look at him better. “What happened? Did your band abandon you, too?”
He looked around the bus, pointing at Kris and Nace who sat diagonal from us, in the front. “You could say that. They sat in pairs and I was left out. I hope you don't mind me sitting with you. I had nowhere else to sit."
So, he didn't choose to sit with me. It was just a convenience. "Yeah, no problem. Don't mind me." I turned around to look outside of the window; I really wished I had my headphones with me at that moment, but I left them in my hotel room.
Part of me was trying to focus on watching the city as we drove through it, but the other part of me was trying to decipher what Bojan was doing right beside me, without actually having to turn around and look at him.
“Hey, um…(Y/N), right?” Bojan spoke up and I had to turn around again.
“Yeah. And you’re Bojan. Bojan Cvjetićanin, right?” I raised an eyebrow at him. I thought he heard my name yesterday when we introduced ourselves to each other.
“Yeah.” He smiled widely. “I didn’t expect you or anyone to remember my last name actually.” He chuckled awkwardly.
“I remember everyone’s full name. Part of having an acoustic encoding and a photographic memory.”
“Oh, nice. So, (Y/N), speaking of photographic memory, do you know where we are going? I didn’t have time to look at our program.”
The program was given to us, specifically to know when and what we would do each day!
"Well, they'll drive us up to Montjuïc Hill first, so we can see the city from above. We'll visit the castle and then they'll drive us to the Botanical Gardens, then to Anella Olímpica, which is actually near the venue where the party with the fans will take place. Then, we'll visit the Spanish Village, then Parc Güell, and then, back to the city center. They'll leave us at Barri Gòtic, the gothic neighborhood and we have free time to visit whatever we want. I'll go to the Picasso Museum, Casa Battló, Casa Amatller, Casa Malagrida, and I'll have to find a way to go to Sagrada Familia, otherwise, I see myself unable to walk in the near future. Lunch is at 5 o'clock. The meeting point is Plaça de Catalunya, which is actually close to where we're having tomorrow's private party."
"Do they say what kind of lunch are we having?"
"They mention 'traditional Spanish cuisine', so I assume tapas, paella, gazpacho, and such."
"Oh, okay. I hope they got the memo about Nace on time."
I thought about it for a moment. "He shouldn’t eat gluten, right?”
“Yeah..? How do you know about that?”
“Because I cannot eat dairy and sugar, so I had to email them beforehand to let them know. So they sent me the menu to choose feasible options and let me know that there would also be gluten-free options for ‘another contestant’ with intolerance, just in case I had any other dietary restrictions. And I actually shouldn’t eat gluten because of my thyroid, but there aren’t enough gluten-free options in Greece, so...”
I just realized I started talking too much again and I stopped before I embarrassed myself more than I had already, but Bojan was looking at me…fascinated. His eyes were on me and he was perked up, waiting for me to continue my narration, but I thought that he hadn’t talked at all yet.
“So, have you ever been to Barcelona before?”
“As a band, no. Only Jure has never been here before. I was actually born here but we moved back to Slovenia when I was little, although I think I know a few Spanish but only now do I get the chance to speak with someone who actually speaks the language, you know? What about you? Have you?”
“Actually yeah, I have been to Barcelona before, but like almost nine years ago. Last-year school trip. We call it ‘triti lykeiou’, the third of high school. So it’s been some time, and even then, we didn’t get to see everything, or at least things that I wished we could see, like the inside of Sagrada Familia or the Picasso Museum.”
We continued talking for most of the time, from the moment we sat together on the bus till the moment we went back to the hotel, as Bojan became one of my ‘fellow travelers’ for the day, along with the rest of Joker Out, my band, and my sister. Bojan turned out to be a very pleasant person to talk to; it felt like I was talking to an old friend - effortless, familiar, meaningful. He was the most sociable and chatty out of all JO members, though, at times, I appreciated Jan’s more quiet company.
“I don’t know. Really. He was talkative, friendly. He may have seemed flirty and all that, but maybe it’s his way of communicating with others. Every time I try to speak with someone, they think I come out as flirting with them when I don’t. Maybe that’s just Bojan.” I shrugged, not caring to talk about it further.
“Okay. So, do you actually want to pee or…? We have been here for some time. The boys will be worried.”
“You can go back if you want. I’ll pee and I’ll be back shortly.”
I was quickly done, but stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes, going through the photos I took yesterday. Bojan was in at least 90% of the group photos. He was obviously very photogenic, and he looked so smiley and happy. I took photos of every single one of our tour group, but Bojan would constantly find a way to get in, photobombing everyone’s photos.
I caught myself smiling, and I couldn’t deny that he was the reason I was currently smiling and silently laughing on my own. Going to his Instagram, I immediately saw he had uploaded on his stories and I was too curious not to click.
He had mainly reposted some videos from the Joker Out's official Instagram account with today's meet and greet, fans' photos, them getting ready for the pre-party, and a few short videos of them 'partying' before the audience pre-party. 
And then, there was a video of my band playing on stage, but going through the video, it was mostly focused on me playing my guitar. It was…different, seeing myself through Bojan's eyes; the way his camera was moving from my guitar to my face, watching my 'concentrated' look.
I felt myself getting hot and my cheeks burning again. I felt a pain in my stomach - not sharp per se, but it was enough to make me notice it, accompanied by a light headache. I was pretty sure that it wasn't because of the few drinks I had; I could only attribute it to the tiredness of the past couple of days. I hadn't eaten well because I was embarrassed to eat in front of the others, and yesterday was slightly too hot outside. 
I leaned against the wall, trying to take a breath, but I knew I just needed to sit down and everything would be okay. I exited the bathroom as calmly as I could and went back to the box to find a place to sit. 
My seat next to Bojan was now taken by Mae, who was laughing loudly and enjoying herself, sliding her hand over Bojan's toned arm. I felt a bite of jealousy and sadness in my heart. Of course, there would be others interested in Bojan.
Bojan himself was smiling back at her while drinking from his champagne glass. He was having fun, and he seemed as interested in her as she was in him. The pain in my stomach became sharper now, but I didn't want to let others know how I felt, so I quietly took a seat on Alex's lap, as I usually did.
Alex wrapped his arms around my waist out of instinct - that's what we always did; that's how we all acted with each other in the band. We were all very open with each other, to the point we would even walk around naked when we were staying in the same hotel room or tour bus or each other's house if we felt like it. It wasn't forced; we were just comfortable with being close and intimate with each other.
They were all currently discussing possible places to tour in the summer if we got good feedback from the competition and the audience.
"What do you say, (Y/N/N)? Where would you like to go this summer?" Alex spoke calmly.
"Ideally, on vacation." Everyone snorted laughingly. "But if I had to choose, I'd say ask the people where they want us and we can go on from there. See if there's a way to arrange something."
"I guess that would be the most fair thing to do. Since we don't know where we stand with the people's view in this competition."
They all nodded, agreeing, before going back to talking about food. I sighed, trying to forget that I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday night, and snuggled my head in the crook of Alex's neck.
"Tough day?" Alex whispered as the others continued talking to each other.
"Tough day, you don't say anything." I was close with all the guys in the band, but Alex was more understanding and easier to talk to.
Alex glanced at me rubbing my tummy. "You're not on your period, right? That was last week?" 
"No, it's not that. It's…" I looked towards Bojan and Mae, not so discreetly may I say, so Alex caught up quickly.
"Ha." He paused for a few seconds. "You're jealous. Who is it this time? Bojan or Mae?" I was open to my friends about my sexuality, but I never talked about it to others because I never had to or wanted to explain myself.
"Bojan. I don't know, Alex. I don't want to be just another participant thirsting over another one. Or be one of the people thirsting over him. I don't want to risk approaching him, only to be rejected. I'm tired of that."
Alex kissed me on my cheek and rubbed his nose against it. "I don't want to tell you what to do and what not to do, (Y/N). But I will tell you that we all take risks in our lives. We took a risk by being here, exposing ourselves to millions. If it's a risk worth taking, you should take the chance." He paused for a second. "And for what is worth, I think he may also be jealous now."
"How do you know that?"
"I've been glancing at him this whole time, and he hasn't stopped looking toward us. If looks could kill, I'd be chopped right now."
I turned my head to look at Bojan's side, and I saw he was already looking at us, mouth agape, and eyes wide open. We kept looking at each other for just a few seconds until he stood up and went away, probably towards the bathroom or somewhere else.
Could it be that he thought Alex and I were dating and he got jealous? No, no way. Bojan had a much too interesting life if I were to say so, looking through his social, to even care if I was with someone or not. Every participant was charmed by the Slovenian golden retriever. Everyone loved him. He had too many options to care about me and my life.
And he may have seemed interested yesterday, but today he was talking, drinking, and flirting with everyone like he was in his natural environment. I just had to forget all the things he made me feel, even for a day or two, and continue being civil with him because we had over 1 and a half months ahead of us until all this was over and we went back to our usual lives.
Though it was easier said than done, as, no matter how much I tried to avoid him over the next week during the Polish pre-party - unless it was a group activity or obligation, he always managed to be there somehow. 
Was it a last-minute meet and greet with local fans before the pre-party? He somehow was close by, with the rest of his bandmates, probably having 'decided' to make a sudden meet-up of their own in the same area we did.
I tried not to notice how flirty and handsy he was with everyone, especially Noa when she showed up at the Israeli pre-party. She wasn't sent to perform, but as Israel hosted the pre-party, she must have been assigned as our co-hostess and presenter for the night.
I didn't know Noa was Bojan's soft spot, his weakness, until I saw a random post on Twitter, dated 2 months ago. It was uploaded by the official Joker Out account on Twitter, featuring Bojan. Noa was his weakness - his ‘weak point’, to be exact.
Now it made perfect sense why he seemed so infatuated with her and was pretty much following her around the whole night, except for when he had to go on stage and perform. And even then, he personally thanked Noa for her hospitality and how amazing and organized the party was.
I was really trying not to think of all that, not to think that the man I liked was flirting, touching, and partying with everyone else but me. I tried not to think that he could be going to bed with someone else, especially not me.
And then came Jere, going by the alias 'Käärijä'. And he was cute and kind and funny. And they immediately clicked with Bojan and they started spending as much time as they could together. And I would hang out with my bandmates, Iru, and Mae, and now also Alessandra, Alika, Teya, Salena, the 'Vesna' girls, and Elen, who went by the stage name 'Brunette'.
But it wasn't the same as it was that one day with Bojan, and though I was happy for him seemingly having found someone who actually made him happy, I couldn't help myself from wishing I was that someone.
Nevertheless, I tried to have as much fun as I could, without thinking of him or anyone else. And I did have fun, partying, singing, playing guitar, and going out with the other contestants, even Joker Out.
I was acting like nothing bothered me, and I was getting pretty good at it. In public. Because every time we got back to our hotel rooms, I fell into the abyss of my loneliness.
When we had a free day before the Amsterdam pre-party, everyone else went out, getting to know the city by night, but I decided to stay in my room, feeling too tired - emotionally - to have fun.
Lying in my bed, in my short, pink and wine-red nightgown, strumming my acoustic guitar, and humming, occasionally gulping some of the wine Mini bought a day ago, trying to find a new music or line for how I felt at the moment.
It wasn't usually hard to write a paragraph or two because it was usually a collective job, but I wasn't as emotionally charged before as I was now. Though, when I started strumming the chords, the lyrics started writing themselves.
You get on with life as that shy boy,
You're an adorable kinda person.
You like singing and playing hooky.
You like to contemplate life.
But when you start to daydream,
Your mind turns straight to him.
Sometimes I look at you and I look into your eyes,
I notice the way you think about him with a smile,
Curved lips you just can't disguise.
But you think it's singing making your life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for you to decide which you love more?
Singing or living?
You like to use words about life.
But when you stop talking,
Your mind turns straight to him.
You like to hang out with me.
But when left alone,
Your mind turns straight back to him.
You hate crying and confrontation.
But you just think back to him,
And you're happy once again.
Oh, God. It was as soppy as it could get. But I bet Alex and Stef could probably make something good out of it. I wasn't good at the final editing and corrections, but I was good at laying all my emotions on the table and coming up with a rough layout of a possible song. 
A rough knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I checked the time on my phone. 01:36. Oh, no. I must have been too loud and someone got mad and came to complain.
I quickly and quietly tiptoed towards the door, waiting to be screamed at, for playing guitar at that time. I should have remembered that not everyone staying here was a Eurovision participant, and we were randomly put in our rooms. And it was probably late for some people.
Opening the door, I came face to face with a rather distressed Bojan. My heart fell at the sight of him. His hair was ruffled and stuck out all over the place. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than before, and his whole face was sunk.
"Hey, Bojan." I spoke quietly, aware now of how late it actually was. "What are you doing here? I thought you guys went out?"
He pointed into the room, and I took it as if he wanted to come in, so I took a step back to let him in. He walked heavily towards the small couch near the window, and let himself plop heavily into it.
We didn't speak for a few minutes, and the room felt heavy with awkwardness. I didn't know if I should speak or let him speak and explain why he was here at that time. I decided to break the tension.
"Hey, Bojan? Do you want me to bring you something to drink? Or eat? I have water, orange juice, cranberry juice, maybe some Greek koulourakia?"
He raised his eyes to look at me. His eyes were literally lost as if he was drinking heavily and managed to drive off somewhere he didn't know how he got there.
I took it as a signal to go through Mini and I's shared suitcase, and pick up a few things: a small pack of tsourekakia, a pack of oregano chips, an almond chocolate, and a can of Greek mountain tea from the fridge.
I placed them in Bojan's lap but he kept looking at me with those empty, lost eyes. "Eat up. You look like shit."
He let out a snort, smirking, as he awkwardly started opening the chips first. He snacked for a few minutes, occasionally closing his eyes, either out of pleasure or tiredness, I didn't know which one.
I looked at him closely, taking in his every perfect, little expression. He looked so small and fragile as he chugged down the oregano chips, like a little kid enjoying his afternoon snack. He saw me looking at him and offered me some of the chips.
"Thank you, but I can't eat them. They have milk powder in them." He shook his head and continued snacking.
He finished up and took the pack of tsourekakia in his hands, carefully examining the pack to understand what those were.
"They're like a small version of tsoureki, a Greek sweet-like bread which we eat as a snack, or sweet, or dessert. These have hazelnut praline in."
He shook his head again, as he opened the bag and grabbed one, throwing one in his mouth. The second he bit into it, his eyes rolled over his head, and I laughed at how much he enjoyed it. 
I grabbed the can of tea and opened it before offering it back to him. "To balance the sweetness."
Our fingers brushed each other's, and it felt like it was forever ago when I last touched Bojan. I couldn't help my need to stare at him forever. His chocolatey eyes sparked even more now than they usually did, probably because of the alcohol in the man's system.
Out of a sudden, he grabbed my free hand and pulled me into his lap. I was so shocked and taken aback, that I could only look at him with wide eyes. Thankfully, he didn't spill any tea on us or the couch, because it would have been awkward to explain how the sofa and the rug underneath were stained with cold tea.
I noticed my nightgown had risen a bit, so I quickly pulled it down before my underwear was shown. Bojan wrapped one arm around me, while the other started moving up my thigh and below my nightgown, where I tried to cover myself up. My heart literally skipped a beat under his touch and our close contact.
We could only stare at each other. I was scared of doing anything that he may misunderstand and he was a bit too cautious to do or say anything. Or so I thought because he leaned forward, towards me. I didn't move, partially because I was frozen and partially because I'd been wanting to be in this position with Bojan since Barcelona.
His lips brushed against mine, nibbling my lower lip enough to make my heartbeat skyrocket. I wanted to give in but I quickly realized that Bojan wasn't actually in his right mind and it wasn't okay to take advantage of his loose state. So, I pulled away and pushed myself out of his embrace. He tried to resist but he was weaker in his drunk state.
"Bojan, I think you should go to your room now. You're drunk, you're not thinking straight, and you may start doing things you will most likely regret in the morning."
"I would never regret kissing you. Not in a million years. Not when that's the one thing I wanted to do from the moment I met you." He spoke for the first time tonight, his voice coarse and intoxicating.
I couldn't deny that I thought he was a bit obnoxious at first; he seemed too happy, and excited, and bouncy to be real. But when I actually got to meet and talk to him, he seemed down-to-earth, and lovely, and loveable.
"I'll be honest with you. I wanted to kiss you since that day in Barcelona when we spoke for the whole day. But I know it, and you know it too, that you have to come to your senses, and if you still feel the same, we'll talk about it sometime in the future, okay? Now you'll have to go to your room before our friends come back."
Bojan tried to stand up with wobbly legs but fell back on the couch. I facepalmed myself, knowing that getting him to stand up and go to his room, two floors above me, would be extremely difficult, even with using the elevator.
"What if…", he mumbled, "...I stay here for tonight? Please?" He gave me his best, doe-like, pleading eyes, knowing exactly where to aim to convince me.
I sighed, not wanting or being in the mood to argue with him. I looked at the oversized bed and tried to make some calculations for how we were gonna fit properly.
"Okay, but I won't be giving up the whole bed. I'm older and sensitive. We'll both sleep as far as possible from each other, capisci?"
"Si, signora." Bojan smiled brightly, and my heart beat faster. I swore that man would be the death of me. Was I too old at 26 to die over a younger man?
Bojan extended his arms towards me, expecting me to help him get to bed. I took a deep breath to calm my rising temper and walked over to him. I grabbed him from the waist, slowly pulling him up, and he put as much weight as he could on me.
Lucky for me, the bed wasn't too far away. Because Bojan, though considered short for a man, was about 10 centimeters taller than me, and he was both muscular and curvy, just my type. Pulling him up would be a bit easier if I wasn't feeling under the weather, because of my upcoming period.
I managed to get him to bed safely, lifting his legs to lie down, and pushing him a bit towards the middle, scared that he was gonna fall off at some point. I noticed he had his eyes closed already, and he was breathing heavily, so I assumed he had fallen asleep already.
I went back to the shared suitcase and got some painkillers, then grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and placed them in the nightstand beside him. I personally never had a hangover because I always knew I couldn't handle alcohol at all, so I only drank in moderation. But I knew how awful a terrible headache can make you feel for the whole day forward.
I covered him with a blanket, as it was a bit chilly, even in the seemingly warm hotel. Bojan looked so peaceful, like a little angel, slightly smiling in his sleep. I took a picture in my mind and a picture in my phone, to forever remember that moment.
It was only then that I noticed I had a text message from Mini. I left my phone on silent mode so I never heard the text sound. "We're coming in 20. Do you want us to bring you something?" Sent 12 minutes ago.
It was a bit too late to text them. They would probably not see it on time. I walked carefully and quietly to the bathroom and called Mini from there.
"Ei, (Y/N)! Did you get my message? Do you still want us to pick up something for you?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's all good." I tried to whisper but also make myself audible. "Mini, can you do me a favor? Can you stay with Alex tonight?"
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Ehm, I...have a visitor tonight…"
"Omg, (Y/N)! Did you finally get laid?!"
"Wait! (Y/N) got laid?!" I heard my bandmates' voices in the background, whistling and making too much noise.
"No! No, it's not that. He just came to see me, and he was too drunk to get back to his room."
"Okay, tell me everything or I'll come over to see. Who is it? Is he cute? What does he look like?"
"Mini, I can't tell you who it is. That's…private." Nothing was private with these four, but I couldn't just out Bojan like that.
"Is it Bojan?" Alex spoke clearly on the phone.
I sighed before speaking. "Yeah, it's him. Please don't make it way bigger than it already is."
"That's what she said! But seriously, I'm just messing with you. And don't worry about Mini; she'll stay with me. Maybe one of us will get lucky tonight."
There were a few milliseconds of silence before Alex growled an "Aouts!", probably Mini's response to his comment. I snorted. Alex wasn’t that type of a guy; he just liked to mess up with his friends, and he knew that Mini wasn’t one to enjoy his pranks, so he did it more to her.
“(Y/N)? Where are you?” I heard Bojan whining from the room.
“Guys, I have to go now, okay? I’ll text you if I need anything.”
I got off my phone before anyone could respond, and I walked out of the bathroom. Bojan was lying on his left side, eyes half closed, looking towards the bathroom door. I moved closer to the bed, and he shot me a sweet, yet bright smile upon seeing me.
“Hey, are you okay? Do you need anything?” I wasn’t sure how to approach him or his state; I didn’t want to seem like I was hitting hard on him or that I was looking for any reason to get close to him.
“Can you please come over?” His voice was coarse and it gave me goosebumps.
I slowly crawled onto the bed, moving slowly to keep myself covered. Bojan’s eyes never left mine, as he watched me moving around and getting closer and closer to him.
“Closer. Please.”
I crawled again until I reached him and laid down beside him, facing him. His eyes still held an untold tiredness, but he still kept them open, as if I’d walk away the second he closed them once again. He moved his arms around me, slipping one underneath me and pulling me into his embrace.
His body felt warm and inviting, and I could now smell the scent of his clothes and his body: baby powder, musk, vanilla, and sandalwood, all mixed together in a scent that took over my mind.
His hands were moving up and down my back and arms in a comforting way, and he was breathing a bit more heavily now. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment, though I knew I shouldn’t be getting that close with someone I had no future with - short-term or long-term.
Either way, we were from two different countries, living in two different worlds, and busying ourselves with different tasks. The only thing we had in common was that we were in a band, each of us representing their own country in Eurovision.
Just the thought of losing Bojan like that, expectedly and naturally, made me tear up, but I quickly forced myself to gulp my sadness and tears down. I didn’t want to upset him. This was a beautiful and emotional moment between us and I would ruin it if he noticed my wet, sunken eyes.
I calmed myself down and tried steadying my breath, though that led to me getting more and more sleepy in Bojan’s arms. And though I didn’t want to disturb his peace by staying there, I couldn’t bring myself to leave his soft touch, especially when Bojan laid his head on mine and started humming a - I assumed Slovenian - lullaby.
His voice, even when he was singing that low, was heavenly. I didn’t know what it meant, but I let myself enjoy Bojan’s rich, deep voice. He was singing and caressing my head, sliding his fingers through my hair and making my being go numb. 
It only took a couple of minutes of Bojan singing lullabies for me to fall asleep in his arms.
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fairyvtale · 3 days
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is anyone interested in reading imagines with käärija or anyone from Eurovision 21/23??
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purecommemasolitude · 10 months
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not being able to type the ć in bojan's name with my keyboard is the worst because half the time i need to tag his name it doesn't show up with the ć in my suggested tags. and since i refuse to tag any of their names without the accents, this usually means i have to either use the bojan cvjetićanin x reader tag (which always shows up with the accent) from the suggested tags and then delete the "x reader" part, or i have to google the band and copy-paste the ć from their wikipedia page. hell on earth
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snazzynacho · 10 months
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Behind Closed Doors: masterlist
Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!reader fan fiction
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Summary:
IN WHICH
you are one of Käärijä's dancers for Eurovision 2023 and Bojan can't keep his eyes off of you meanwhile you deal with conflicting feelings between him and your best friend Käärijä...
Pairing: Bojan Cvjetićanin x Fem!Reader
Fandom: Joker Out / Bojan Cvjetićanin
Rating: Mature?
Additional tags: Y/N reader | Female reader | Flirting | Sauna | Kissing | Drunkenness | Implied/Referenced Sex | Hotel Sex | Angst | semi-nude photos | Romance | Fluff | Drunk Kissing | Eurovision Song Contest 2023 | Never have I ever drinking game | Sexual Tension | I tried to make this slow burn but I failed within the first chapter | More tags to be added I think | No beta we die like Titan submarine
Started: 22nd May 2023 Published originally on wattpad: 10th June 2023 Finished: Ongoing
Disclaimer: This is not reflective of the real people. This is just for fun :) I'm not the best writer but I hope you still enjoy.
Read on wattpad
Read on ao3
Read on tumblr: (chapters below the cut)
Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
More coming soon!
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lepabebaa · 10 days
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made an account to write about the sturniolo triplets and joker out if anyone’s interested in reading (not letting me tag but the @ is sturniout) !! 🖤
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Bojan Cvjetićanin
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Masterlist
Young!Coriolanus Snow
Sejanus Plinth
The Hunger Games Masterlist
Finnick Odair
Katniss Everdeen
Johanna Mason
Criminal Minds Masterlist
Spencer Reid
Taylor Swift Masterlist
Taylor Swift Inspired Fics Masterlist
°
Characters that I refuse to write for:
Old!Coriolanus Snow (The Hunger Games) -> romantically [I do, however write for, young!Coriolanus Snow]
Seneca Crane (The Hunger Games)
Gale Hawthorne (The Hunger Games)
Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter)
Lucius Malfoy (Harry Potter)
Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter)
Peter Pettigrew (Harry Potter)
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter)
Severus Snape (Harry Potter)
Thanos (Marvel)
John Walker (Marvel)
Nick Fury (Marvel)
...that's it for now
°
Things I don't write about:
foot fetish
SA kinks
forced pregnancy
innocent!reader
yandere
dark![insert character]/dark!reader
incest
male!reader
romantic ships like Katniss x Haymitch or Peter Parker x Tony Stark...
gn!reader, black!reader or plus size!reader [I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST IT, I just don't want to offend anybody by writing something I don't know about ♥︎]
romanticizing depression, anxiety, SA, SH and such
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sturniout · 10 days
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ABOUT ME
hi everyone!!
my name is andji (21, she/her) and i’m FINALLY getting back to writing after years 🤝
i run the most random spam account ever @lepabebaa so you can get to know me there too
ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT
imagines/blurbs, texts and social media posts
i’ll write fluff and angst, no smut
most of the time i won’t take requests, last time i ran an account i was heavily bullied for being overwhelmed by requests 💩
will write for all joker out members and the sturniolo triplets (weirdest group but like… hyperfixations yk)
if you got this far THANK YOU, hope you’re willing to deal with my shit xoxo
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lunafoster · 1 year
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Intrusive thoughts
AN: yes, another one. Again, I’m really sorry but I hope you guys enjoy.
AN2: I really should be studying for my finals but I keep procrastinating. Somebody send help, please.
Warnings: none, honestly, just fluff. I’m gonna say maybe bad English, I’m trying.
Words: 1500+
Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!reader
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BOJAN’S GIRLFRIEND LETTING HER INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN (mostly about Bojan) FOR 3 MINUTES AND 12 SECONDS STRAIGHT
*first clip*
The singer was sitting down in front of the camera next to Kris, talking while filming one of their vlogs, when the girl appeared, sitting down by his side.
He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, as it was warm and he didn’t want to be sweating. You could see the girl staring at his arms, though; it looked like she had just woke up from a nap. Bojan kept talking.
“Ang.” She bit his shoulder.
He didn’t even react, just kept having his conversation with Kris. The latter looked at her and then at his bandmate, mouth agape in shock.
“What is going on?”
*second clip*
Bojan and his girlfriend were being interviewed for the fans, as they wanted to know how their relationship started and how it was going since then.
“Who takes more time to get ready?”
“It’s him! He does!” She said, pointing at him and smirking.
“That’s not- alright maybe it is true,” he gave in, nodding his head and awkwardly smiling, “but it’s mostly because my hair takes a lot of time to be tamed, honestly.”
As if it had a mind of its own, a strand of his hair fell on his face, but he kept making excuses as to why he was the one who spent more time in the bathroom when they had to go out.
The girl kept staring at it, exchanging looks between the camera, the interviewer and her boyfriend. She continued being laser focused on the lock of hair that was slightly covering his left eye.
With one last glance at the camera and the interviewer, she extender her arm and carefully removed the piece of hair, pulling it to a better position so it wouldn’t be on his face.
He looked at her. “Thank you, love.”
She smiled and mused his hair up, laughing loudly. He sighed with a ‘done’ look on his face.
*third clip*
The Joker Out guys were talking during an interview, having sweets to munch on in between questions and topics.
In that moment, Jure was holding part of a KitKat in his hand, talking passionately about ‘Demoni’ and how they had come up with the idea of the music video.
The girl was watching them behind the camera, having a good time making faces at the boys during serious moments so they would crack a smile when they shouldn’t.
However, right in that moment, she was craving chocolate really badly. And that’s when she noticed the KitKat in Jure’s hand.
She quietly approached them, went into view for the camera just behind the boys and snatched the chocolate out of the blond’s hand.
“Aha!” She shouted with an evil laugh, munching on the KitKat and leaving the frame.
Everyone just looked at each other for a few seconds and bursted out laughing. All except for Jure, who tried keeping a pout on his lips while fake sobbing.
“My KitKat!”
*fourth clip*
“This is another video in the series of ‘baking with Jan’! Where I get stressed and he looks like he’s high!”
“What?!”
“What? It rhymes.”
*fifth clip*
Nace was explaining a story about them in the beach, playing with a giant yoga ball.
“So I tried to take it back to the sand but the ball was just too big…” everyone was chuckling, remembering how he had been chasing the ball around in the water.
“That’s what she said,” she whispered while giggling.
“Hey!” Nace pushed her shoulder away from him, “Stop it!”
*sixth clip*
The camera was angled so you could see both the girl, preparing the oven, and Jan, mixing the cookie dough on a bowl.
“Make sure it’s well mixed,” she told him, getting up from her crouched position.
“I know what I’m doing,” he replied, glancing at her briefly.
Jan went to grab the cookie cutters when he deemed it was well mixed enough, making the mistake of leaving the dough alone.
She instantly scooped some of it onto her finger and spread it on his face right when he turned around.
The video cuts and the camera focuses again on the two throwing the mixture at each other, the bowl now empty and cookie dough all over them.
The video cuts again and it comes back to her licking dough from her hand, taking from her face and eating it happily.
“You are disgusting,” Jan let’s out with a breathy laugh, distaste in his face.
“You are definitely not!” She goes towards him with grabby hands, “let me lick it off you, too!”
“No!” He moves away, going off camera.
*seventh clip*
Kris was in the background of Nace and Jure talking in front of the camera in one of their vlogs, mindlessly strumming his guitar.
Bojan and his girlfriend appeared from the right, moving towards the younger with the idea of sitting next to him.
They sat down but you could see the girl watching as Kris played with a fond look in her face and a soft smile.
She took Kris’ hand and, after making sure he left his guitar so it wouldn’t fall, dragged him towards the camera.
“Everyone this is my son,” she stated, making the guys look at her weirdly and Bojan laugh loudly, “if anything happened to him I would kill everyone and then myself.”
“What are you on?” Jan suddenly spoke up from somewhere in the room, not visible to the camera.
“He’s a child, just look at him.” She grabs his face with both hands and smushes his cheeks together, Kris chuckling and trying to pull away, unsuccessfully. “Isn’t he just so cute? I wanna put him in my pocket but he’s really tall and I can’t,” she added with a devastated look, pressing her hand to her chest and feigning being hurt.
“You got yourself a special one, man,” Nace said towards Bojan, who was still laughing obnoxiously.
He stood up and went towards his girlfriend and Kris, putting his arm around his shoulder and leaning on the taller boy.
“I will go for the adoption papers,” he said with a serious face, turning to her and breaking into a smile.
“They’re both coo-coo,” Jure says to the camera, making circle shapes with his finger near his head.
*eighth clip*
Bojan is talking to the camera while in the behind-the-scenes of their latest music video, wearing a big coat, making it clear that it’s really cold outside.
His girlfriend walks into view, with another huge coat, a woolly hat and gloves.
She suddenly squishes him really close to her in a hug, making it possible to hear the air leaving his lungs.
“What is going on?” He asks, strained and confused at the sudden affection, forgetting about the camera.
“You just look so squishable it’s unfair!” She answers, hugging him even tighter if possible.
*ninth clip*
Bojan and Jan are near the swimming pool, but fully clothed, talking about their next tour to his phone, as the comments can be seen going up from the bottom left of the screen.
“Can you get me a glass of water?” Bojan asks his girlfriend, not wanting to stop his conversation with Jan.
She leaves the frame of the camera and the conversation goes on, slowing to a stop when she comes back staring at Bojan.
“What?”
He goes to take the glass from her but she’s faster, moving it over his head and pouring its contents all over him, making him open his mouth in shock.
“I’m sorry,” she giggles, covering her own mouth with her hand.
He stands up and Jan takes his phone, pointing the camera towards them, sensing that something funny is going to happen.
He’s right, of course, Bojan picks her up by her waist and throws himself (with her) in the swimming pool, effectively drenching them both.
“Bojan!” She shouts, both of them laughing loudly and Jan’s chuckling being heard from behind the camera.
*tenth clip*
They’re in the van while Bojan and his girlfriend are answering questions from fans in an Instagram live.
“What do you guys call each other?” She reads, immediately following it up with, “I call him daddy.”
“No, she does not,” he shakes his head profusely, moving towards the camera.
“I would call him daddy if he let me,” she corrects herself, getting closer to the camera to read the comments.
“Stop,” he laughs as he gently pushes her smirking head away.
“Someone said it’s a good nickname!”
“That was me,” says Jure, moving so he can be seen on the screen.
She pouts and looks at Bojan.
“What do I usually call you?”
“I call her love, sweetheart; and she…,” he trails off and turns to her, “I don’t know, what do you like calling me?”
“I know!” She exclaims happily, “waffles, cupcake, pie, pumpkin,… yes.” She nods to herself.
“That’s definitely not it,” he retorts, raising an eyebrow at her, “why are all of them high-calorie foods, anyway?”
“What? Do you want me to call you my little celery stick or something?”
Somebody laughs in the background at that.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t sugarplum,” she smirks again, watching as he’s trying to stop himself from laughing.
“You’re right, I don’t honey bun.”
All of them burst into a loud, chaotic laugh.
*end of the video*
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Anthem of the Post [BC]
previous part
yourusername
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liked by krisgusti, janpeteh and others
yourusername bo, you've done so incredible these past months. so much passion went into writing this song and performing it and you gave so much love to everyone involved, and to those who weren't. the dedication I have seen from you was simply incredible. and my god, the performance you put on! I fall in love over and over and over again. You've been such a character around the arena, just by being your handsome charismatic self, and it has been so beautiful to see you build all these incredible connections through your love for music. I'm so incredibly proud of you and to be with you, words can't explain (I tried my best). I can't believe I get the same commitment from you that you gave this, because I've never seen anyone as involved, committed and dedicated as you. I love you, I'm proud of you and I really, really treasure you. tagged bojan_cvjeticanin
Posted May 19th, 2023
yourusername the anthem of the post is "home" krisgusti 💙💙 jokeroutfan i will cryyy omg you truly deserve each other paidatonriehuja we 💚 bojan randomfanacc WHAT how did we not realize they were dating bye yourbestie excuse me while I just jump on the highway bojan_cvjeticanin Hvala, ljuba. I don't know how I would have done it without you, I appreciate your support so, so, so much <3
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yourusername
Monaco
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liked by janpeteh, arthur_leclerc and others
yourusername and now... time for one of the most iconic raceweeks of the year, Monaco I am ready!!! tagged f1, charles_leclerc, bojan_cvjeticanin
posted May 24th, 2023
lauracwinter good to have you back! randomfan you might be ready but i don't think bojan is 😭😭😭
bojan_cvjeticanin i was not ready for a train ride from London to Nice, i am ready for monaco 😂
ferrarifan let's pray for a good home race 🙏🏼 yourfriend oh i am SO jealous yourfan no anthem of the day?!
yourusername i'ts going to be "anthem of the weekend" for work-related posts from now on, since i post a lot during race weekends :)) personal posts will deffo have aotd though!!
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yourusername
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liked by pierregasly, juremacek and others
yourusername take your rockstar boyfriend to work vacation💛 (Anthem of the post is Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani) tagged bojan_cvjeticanin
posted May 30th, 2023
nace_jordan next time can we come too? randomfollower such a banger familymember looks lovely y/n! enjoy 🤗🤗 jokeroutfan bojan looks so good in these oh em gee motorsportsfan omg i LOVE those cards and posters, i neeeeed anotherfollower WHERE. do i find a bojan that will look at me like the first pic because 🫠🫠 friend hope the the well-deserved break is treating you well bojan!
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yourusername
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liked by janpeteh, paidatonriehuja and others
yourusername first 12h of Barcelona <33 Anthem of the post is EAEA - Blanca Paloma (As per Bojan's request) tagged bojan_cvjeticanin
posted May 31st, 2023
wbuxtonofficial that paella looks fantastic, i'm going to need the adress of that one randomfollower looks like it's been a rollercoaster😭😭 jokeroutfan omg girl i'm so sorry, how many times did bojan sing eaea
yourusername (as much as i love blanca) too much for a short flight. and he continued when we landed.
motorsportsfan why isnt she with drivers? its media day soon bojan_cvjeticanin bebeeee did you have to with that last one :(
yourusername yes i have to show you ur just a lil guy bojan_cvjeticanin how am i supposed to project you from scary people like this
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yourusername
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liked by krisgusti, lauracwinter and others
yourusername barca with boja (n) post-race edition Anthem of the post: La camisa negra - Juanes (Bojan's version) tagged bojan_cvjeticanin
posted June 6th, 2023
lilymhe girl slayed the dump 🤝🏼🤝🏼 jokeroutlover BOJAN WITH THE DOG?? randomfollower ahhh how have you been enjoying Spain?
yourusername i love it here so much!! I did a gap year in valencia before and I just love being back surrounded by the spanish language and good weather :)) also Bojan speaking lots of spanish is a big plus ;) randomfollower i can imagine 🤪🤪 hope to have you back soon!
jokeroutfan i can't with the selfie bojan is so yourfriend you need to come back to valencia asappp i miss you over here amor
yourusername i knowww, i'm so busy 🥲🥲 but i'll text u!!
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yourusername
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liked by liamlawson, bojan_cvjeticanin and others
yourusername some unseen eurovision bts 🫶🏼🫶🏼 (Anthem of the post; cha cha cha) tagged maemuller, bojan_cvjeticanin, paidatonriehuja
posted June 11th, 2023
jokeroutfan OHMYGOD randomfollower omg thanks for posting these icon 👑 motorsportfollower idk who these ppl are but theyre HOT maemuller omg i miss you queenie :( can't wait for you to be back eurovisionfan bojan and mae omggg😭😭 krisgusti y/n always providing the bts content
yourusername just you wait until tour
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continuation will be posted soon.
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