#bold and beautiful shauna

[vvalliu]

[thebryanandsilvergarbage]

The 23rd Annual Bryan Awards - Acting Categories

Acting and Performance

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Quinta Brunson as Janine Teagues (ABC) DEAD TO ME - Christina Applegate as Jen Harding (Netflix) MAISEL - Rachel Brosnahan as Miriam Maisel (Prime Video) ONLY MURDERS - Selena Gomez as Mabel Mora (Hulu) POKER FACE - Natasha Lyonne as Charlie (Peacock) 

Lead Actress in a Drama Series: BAD SISTERS - Sharon Horgan as Eva Garvey (Apple Plus) THE CROWN - Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth II (Netflix) THE DIPLOMAT - Keri Russell as Kate Wyler (Netflix) THE HANDMAID’S TALE - Elisabeth Moss as June Osborne (Hulu) SUCCESSION - Sarah Snook as Shiv Roy (HBO) YELLOWJACKETS - Melanie Lynskey as Shauna Sadecki (Showtime) 

Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series/TV Movie: BEEF - Ali Wong as Amy Lau (Netflix) DAISY JONES & THE SIX - Riley Keough as Daisy Jones (Prime Video) FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE - Lizzy Caplan as Libby Epstein (Hulu) GEORGE & TAMMY - Jessica Chastain as Tammy Wynette (Showtime) LOVE & DEATH - Elizabeth Olsen as Candy Montgomery (HBO) TINY BEAUTIFUL THINGS - Kathryn Hahn as a Clare Pierce (Hulu)

Lead Actress in Daytime: THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Katherine Kelly Lang as Brooke Logan (CBS) THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Jacqueline MacInnes-Wood as Steffy Forrester (CBS) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Laura Wright as Carly Spencer (ABC) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Melissa Claire Egan as Chelsea Newman (CBS) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Michelle Stafford as Phyllis Summers (CBS)

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: BARRY - Bill Hader as Barry (HBO) THE BEAR - Jeremy Allen White as Carmy Berzatto (Hulu) ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Steve Martin as Charles-Haden Savage (Hulu) ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Martin Short as Oliver Putnam (Hulu)

TED LASSO - Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso (Apple Plus)

Lead Actor in a Drama Series: BETTER CALL SAUL - Bob Odenkirk as Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill (AMC) THE LAST OF US - Pedro Pascal as Joel (HBO) THE OLD MAN - Jeff Bridges as Dan Chase (F/X) SUCCESSION - Brian Cox as Logan Roy (HBO) SUCCESSION - Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy (HBO) SUCCESSION - Jeremy Strong as Kendall Roy (HBO)

Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series/TV Movie: BEEF - Steven Yeun as Danny Cho (Netflix) BLACK BIRD - Taron Egerton as James Keene (Apple Plus) GEORGE & TAMMY - Michael Shannon as George Jones (Showtime) MONSTER - Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer (Netflix) WEIRD - Daniel Radcliffe as “Weird Al” Yankovic (Roku) WELCOME TO CHIPPENDALES - Kumail Nanjiani as Somen “Steve” Banerjee (Hulu) 

Lead Actor in Daytime: THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Thorsten Kaye as Ridge Forrester (CBS) DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Dan Feuerriegel as E.J. DiMera (NBC & Peacock) DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Billy Flynn as Chad DiMera (NBC & Peacock) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Maurice Benard as Sonny Corinthos (ABC) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Jason Thompson as Billy Abbott (CBS)

Lead Performer in a New Series: THE BEAR - Jeremy Allen White as Carmen Berzatto (Hulu) THE DIPLOMAT - Keri Russell as Kate Wyler (Netflix) THE LAST OF US - Pedro Pascal as Joel (HBO) THE OLD MAN - Jeff Bridges as Dan Chase (F/X) SHRINKING - Jason Segel as Jimmy Laird (Apple Plus) SO HELP ME TODD - Marcia Gay Harden as Margaret (CBS) WEDNESDAY - Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams (Netflix)

Younger Performer in Daytime: THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Henry Samiri as Douglas Forrester (CBS) DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Christopher Cary as Thomas DiMera (NBC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - William Lipton as Cameron Webber (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Eden McCoy as Josslyn Jacks (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Avery Kristen Pohl as Esme Prince (ABC) 

Younger Performer in Primetime: FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE - Meara Mahoney Gross as Hannah Fleishman (Hulu) THE LAST OF US - Belle Ramsay as Ellie (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Keivonn Montreal Woodard as Sam Burrell (HBO) THAT ‘90s SHOW - Callie Haverda as Leia Forman (Netflix) WEDNESDAY - Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams (Netflix) YOUNG SHELDON - Iain Armitage as Sheldon Cooper (CBS)

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Janelle Jones as Ava Coleman (ABC) ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Sheryl Lee Ralph as Barbara Howard (ABC) THE BEAR - Ayo Edebiri as Sydney Adamu (Hulu) MAISEL - Alex Borstein as Susie Myerson (Prime Video) THE OTHER TWO - Molly Shannon as Pat (HBO Max) SHRINKING - Jessica Williams as Gaby (Apple Plus) TED LASSO - Juno Temple as Keeley Jones (Apple Plus) TED LASSO - Hannah Waddingham as Rebecca Welton (Apple Plus)

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: BETTER CALL SAUL - Carol Burnett at Marion (AMC) BETTER CALL SAUL - Rhea Seehorn as Kim Wexler (AMC) THE CROWN - Elizabeth Debicki as Diana, Princess of Wales (Netflix) SUCCESSION - J. Smith-Cameron as Gerri Kellman (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - Jennifer Coolidge as Tanya McQuoid-Hunt (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - Meghann Fahy as Daphne Sullivan (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - Aubrey Plaza as Harper Spiller (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - Simona Tabasco as Lucia (HBO)   

Supporting Actress in a Limited/Anthology Series or TV Movie: BEEF - Maria Bello as Jordana Forster (Netflix) FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE - Claire Danes as Rachel Fleishman (Hulu) LOVE & DEATH - Lily Rabe as Betty Gore (HBO) MONSTER - Niecy Nash-Betts as Glenda Cleveland (Netflix) TINY BEAUTIFUL THINGS - Merritt Wever as Frankie Pierce (Hulu) WELCOME TO CHIPPENDALES - Annaleigh Ashford as Irene Banerjee (Hulu) WELCOME TO CHIPPENDALES - Juliette Lewis as Denise (Hulu)

Supporting Actress in Daytime: THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Krista Allen as Taylor Hayes (CBS) DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Stacy Haiduk as Kristen DiMera (NBC & Peacock) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Sonya Eddy as Epiphany Johnson (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Brook Kerr as Dr. Portia Robinson (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Kelly Thiebaud as Dr. Britt Westbourne (ABC) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Susan Walters as Diane Jenkins (CBS)

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Tyler James Williams as Gregory Eddie (ABC) BARRY - Anthony Carrigan as NoHo Hank (HBO) BARRY - Henry Winkler as Gene Cousineau (HBO) THE BEAR - Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Richie Jerimovich (Hulu) JURY DUTY - James Marsden as Himself (FreeVee) SHRINKING - Harrison Ford as Dr. Paul Rhoades (Apple Plus) TED LASSO - Phil Dunster as Jamie Tartt (Apple Plus) TED LASSO - Brett Goldstein as Roy Kent (Apple Plus)

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: BETTER CALL SAUL - Giancarlo Esposito as Gustavo Fring (AMC) SUCCESSION - Nicholas Braun as Greg Hirsch (HBO) SUCCESSION - Matthew Macfadyen as Tom Wambsgans (HBO) SUCCESSION - Alan Ruck as Connor Roy (HBO) SUCCESSION - Alexander Skarsgard as Matsson (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - F. Murray Abraham as Bert Di Grasso (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - Michael Imperioli as Dominic Di Grasso (HBO) THE WHITE LOTUS - Theo James as Cameron Sullivan (HBO) 

Supporting Actor in a Limited/Anthology Series or TV Movie: BEEF - Young Mazino as Paul Cho (Netflix) BLACK BIRD - Paul Walter Hauser as Larry Hall (Apple Plus) BLACK BIRD - Ray Liotta as Big Jim Keene (Apple Plus) FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE - Adam Brody as Seth Morris (Hulu) LOVE & DEATH - Jesse Plemons as Allan Gore (HBO Max) MONSTER - Richard Jenkins as Lionel Dahmer (Netflix) WELCOME TO CHIPPENDALES - Murray Bartlett as Nick DeNoia (Hulu)

Supporting Actor in Daytime: THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Matthew Atkinson as Thomas Forrester (CBS) BEYOND SALEM/DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Steve Burton as Harris Michaels (Peacock) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Nicholas Chavez as Spencer Cassidine (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Chad Duell as Michael Corinthos (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Robert Gossett as Marshall Ashford (ABC) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Bryton James as Devon Hamilton (CBS)

Supporting Performer in a New Series: BAD SISTERS - Eva Birthistle as Ursula Flynn (Apple Plus) THE BEAR - Ayo Edebiri as Sydney Adamu (Hulu) THE BEAR - Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Richard “Richie” Jerimovich (Hulu)

JURY DUTY - James Marsden as Himself (FreeVee) THE OLD MAN - John Lithgow as Harold Harper (F/X) SHRINKING - Harrison Ford as Dr. Paul Rhoades (Apple Plus) WEDNESDAY - Gwendoline Christie as Larissa Weems (Netflix)

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Taraji P. Henson as Vanetta (ABC) ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Jane Lynch as Sazz Pataki (Hulu) POKER FACE - Judith Light as Irene Smothers (Peacock) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Quinta Brunson as Host/Various Characters (NBC) TED LASSO - Becky Ann Baker as Dottie Lasso (Apple Plus) TED LASSO - Harriet Walter as Deborah (Apple Plus) 

Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Leslie Odom Jr. as Draemond (ABC) THE BEAR - Jon Bernthal as Mikey Berzatto (Hulu) THE BEAR - Oliver Platt as Pops (Hulu) MAISEL - Luke Kirby as Lenny Bruce (Prime Video) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Steve Martin & Martin Short as Co-Hosts/Various Characters (NBC) TED LASSO - Sam Richardson as Edwin Akufo (Apple Plus) 

Guest Actress in a Drama Series: THE LAST OF US - Melanie Lynskey as Kathleen (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Storm Reid as Riley Abel (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Anna Torv as Theresa “Tess” Servopoulos (HBO) SUCCESSION - Hope Davis as Sandi Furness (HBO) SUCCESSION - Cherry Jones as Nan Pierce (HBO) SUCCESSION - Harriet Walter as Lady Caroline Collingwood (HBO) 

Guest Actor in a Drama Series: BETTER CALL SAUL - Mark Margolis as Hector “Tio” Salamanca (AMC) THE LAST OF US - Murray Bartlett as Frank (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Lamar Johnson as Henry Burrell (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Nick Offerman as Bill (HBO) THE MANDALORIAN - Giancarlo Esposito as Moff Gideon (HBO) SUCCESSION - James Cromwell as Ewan Roy (HBO) 

Guest Performer in Daytime: GENERAL HOSPITAL - Denise Crosby as Dr. Carolyn Webber (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Alley Mills as Heather Webber (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Linda Purl as Peyton Honeycutt (ABC) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Barbara Crampton as Leanna Love (CBS) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - James Hyde as Jeremy Stark (CBS) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Robert Newman as Ashland Locke (CBS)

Guest Performer in a New Series: THE BEAR - Jon Bernthal as Mikey Berzatto (Hulu) THE BEAR - Oliver Platt as Pops (Hulu) THE LAST OF US - Murray Bartlett as Frank (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Melanie Lynskey as Kathleen (HBO) THE LAST OF US - Nick Offerman as Bill (HBO) WEDNESDAY - Catherine Zeta-Jones as Morticia Addams (Netflix) 

Performance by a Cast in a Comedy Series: Abbott Elementary (ABC) Barry (HBO) The Bear (F/X) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime Video) Saturday Night Live (NBC) Ted Lasso (Apple Plus)

Performance by a Cast in a Drama Series: Bad Sisters (Apple Plus) Better Call Saul (AMC) The Crown (Netflix) The House of the Dragon (HBO) Succession (HBO) The White Lotus (HBO)

Performance by a Cast in a Limited/Anthology Series or TV Movie: Beef (Netflix) Daisy Jones and the Six (HBO) Five Days At Memorial (Apple Plus) Fleishman in Trouble (Hulu) Welcome to Chippendales (Hulu) The White House Plumbers (HBO) 

Performance by a Cast in Daytime: The Bay (Pop TV) Beyond Salem & Days of Our Lives (Peacock) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) General Hospital (ABC) The Young and the Restless (CBS)

Performance by a Cast in a New Series: Bad Sisters (Apple Plus) The Bear (F/X) The House of the Dragon (HBO) Jury Duty (FreeVee) So Help Me Todd (CBS) Wednesday (Netflix)

Screen Couples

Screen Duo or Trio in a Comedy or Variety Series: THE GREAT - Nicholas Hoult and Elle Fanning (Hulu) ONLY MURDER IN THE BUILDING - Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez (Hulu) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Steve Martin and Martin Short (NBC) SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Michael Che and Colin Jost (NBC) SCHMIGADOON - Cecily Strong and Keegan-Michael Key (Apple Plus)

Screen Duo or Trio in a Drama Series: BETTER CALL SAUL - Bob Odenkirk and Rhea Seehorn (AMC) THE CROWN - Dominic West and Elizabeth Debicki (Netflix) THE GOOD DOCTOR - Freddie Highmore and Paige Spara (ABC) THE LAST OF US - Murray Bartlett and Nick Offerman (HBO) SUCCESSION - Any two (or more) Roy Siblings (HBO) 

Screen Duo or Trio in a Limited/Anthology Series or TV Movie: BEEF - Steven Yeun and Ali Wong (Netflix) DAISY JONES AND THE SIX - Sam Claflin and Riley Keough (HBO) FLEISHMAN IS IN TROUBLE - Jesse Eisenberg, Lizzy Caplan, and Claire Danes (Hulu) GEORGE & TAMMY - Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain (Showtime) HOCUS POCUS 2 - Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy (Disney Plus) 

Screen Duo or Trio in Daytime: GENERAL HOSPITAL - Maurice Benard and Cynthia Watros (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - Chad Duell and Katelyn MacMullen (ABC) GENERAL HOSPITAL - James Patrick Stuart and Finola Hughes (ABC) LIVE WITH KELLY AND MARK - Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos (ABC/Syndicated) THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Peter Bergman and Susan Walters (CBS)

Host Categories

Late Night Host: THE DAILY SHOW - Trevor Noah (Comedy Central) JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE - Jimmy Kimmel (ABC) LAST WEEK TONIGHT - John Oliver (HBO) THE LATE SHOW - Stephen Colbert (CBS) THE PROBLEM WITH - Jon Stewart (Apple Plus)

Daytime Talk Host: THE DREW BARRYMORE SHOW - Drew Barrymore (Syndicated) THE JENNIFER HUDSON SHOW - Jennifer Hudson (Syndicated) THE KELLY CLARKSON SHOW - Kelly Clarkson (NBC/Syndicated) LIVE WITH KELLY and MARK - Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos (ABC/Syndicated) THE TALK - The Hosts of The Talk (CBS)

Reality Host: BAKING IT - Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph (Peacock) NAILED IT - Nicole Byer (Netflix) QUEER EYE - The Hosts of Queer Eye (Netflix) RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE - RuPaul Charles (VH1) SURVIVOR - Jeff Probst (CBS) TOP CHEF - Padma Lakshmi (Bravo)

Game Show Host: FAMILY FEUD - Steve Harvey (ABC/Syndicated) JEOPARDY - Mayim Bialik (ABC/Syndicated) JEOPARDY - Ken Jennings (ABC/Syndicated) LET’S MAKE A DEAL - Wayne Brady (CBS) PASSWORD - Keke Palmer (NBC) WHEEL OF FORTUNE - Pat Sajak (Syndicated)

[kicksaddictny]

PUMA x P.A.M. Collection

P.A.M. and PUMA come together this season to create a collection blurring the lines between streetwear and outdoor clothing, within a larger, multifaceted project - the PAM/PUMA BIO/VERSE - aiming to reconnect with the concepts of nature and community.

Established in the year 2000 by Misha Hollenbach and Shauna Toohey, P.A.M. - short for Perks and Mini - is Melbourne-born and based, relocating to Paris 2015-2019. The brand has a multi- disciplinary approach blending fashion, graphic design, art, music and nightlife and has earned a cult following for its fun, carefree, colorful clothes.

Taking the wearer from the convenience store to the hiking trail, the first-ever PUMA x P.A.M. collection features simple yet adventurous silhouettes with bold graphics and all-over prints with a psychedelic edge. Its texture and color-rich concept is inspired by the South American Yareta, a blobby, velvety cushion plant.

“We wanted to make clothes that are comfortable for a seamless transition between the city and the wild, linking both of them”, says Misha Hollenbach.

“From the start, we saw this project as an opportunity to make something together that could go beyond fashion, and the PUMA team was instantly supportive. So, as part of the PAM/PUMA BIO/VERSE, we suggested created a project that worked to protect threatened wild places on the planet; the same kind of places that inspired the collection”, adds Shauna Toohey.

The BIO/VERSE uniquely commits to real-world environmental impact through a partnership with DEEP. Through the DEEP BioDATA Platform, the project supports the installation of biodiversity monitoring technology in one of the world’s last remaining wild places – the Jurua River region of the Western Brazilian Amazon. Cloud-connected audio sensors use Machine Learning to process live sonics from the project site, providing never-before-seen insight into keystone species, animal group behavior, insect density, primate community dynamics, migration patterns, change over time, and much more. This data is fed into local and scientific communities to enhance research, understand ecosystem dynamics, propel and direct conservation efforts, and stop illegal activity in these most beautiful and vulnerable ecosystems.

DEEP works with on-ground partner Instituto Juruá, and technology partner Rainforest Connection to achieve these visionary impact outcomes.

Spanning 20 different styles, the collection includes elevated basics such as fleece jackets and sweaters, cargo trousers, T-shirts, polo shirts, hoodies, and puffer jackets – all made with at least 20% recycled materials. The palette is nature-inspired and dominated by rich purple, lavender, green and copper tones.  Shoes comprise classic sneakers, trail-running shoes and clogs. On the minimal side, accessories - a bucket hat and cap, a trail backpack and a bottle bag set - highlight functionality.

Directed by Ben Ditto - the celebrated Creative Director specializing in the execution of utopian concepts - the campaign is fronted by the hottest young face in rap Thaiboy Digital, and by indigenous Australian artist Milari Barker. The audio of the campaign is produced by Swedish audio pioneer, Varg2TM and uses samples taken directly from our Amazon project site. “They are all friends of the P.A.M. family, people with the same values as us, so building something together has been a joy”, says Misha Hollenbach. “Connection and community have always been key to how we work.”

The PUMA x P.A.M. Collection will be available globally from November 5 th in selected PUMA Stores, PUMA.com, P.A.M. stores, PERKSANDMINI.com, and distribution partners with a retail price ranging from $40 to $330.

[fatedxdestiny]

[givemegifs]

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

Celebration when your plan is working? Anyone can do that. But when you realize that the story of your life could be told a thousand different ways, that you could tell it over and over as a tragedy, but you choose to call it an epic, that’s when you start to learn what celebration is. When what you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong, that’s celebration.

Shauna Niequist

[listentothestories]

When what you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong, that's celebration.

Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

[42wallaby-way-sydney]

@gangstertogangster​ so since we’re on a glee kick for the OCs, I figure now is about as good a time as any just to have more things that totally get said during domestic au lines.

Yelena: Veruchka that isn't how babies happen. Nika: Uh huh! You and mama are both girls and you have me! Yelena, eyes widening, sweats: ... Nika: Hey how did that happen anyway? Where do babies come from? Yelena, driving faster: Ask your mother. Nika: But you are my mother? Yelena: Ask your other mother! ~oOo~ Michael: Look, alcohol is an answer to any problem. It’s not always the best answer but it is an answer. So pass me my wine or not even God himself will be able to save you, Raphael! ~oOo~ Vasya: Nah, my Aunt Shauna loves Olive Garden. They have better bread. Michael: What’s wrong with my restaurant?! It’s authentic Italian! The real deal! Vasya: It isn’t Olive Garden’s. Duh. ~oOo~ Nika: Hey guys, do you mind if I ritualistically slaughter this chicken? Peyton, jaw dropped: Uh... yeah a bit. This is the stage where we’re, you know, about to have a musical practice. Not... make chicken nuggets. ~oOo~ Vasya: That bitch is crazy! He had me kidnapped! Adrian, looks away: ...  Alexei: Ohmygod... ~oOo~ Jack: Papa, where do babies come from? Vladimir: ... Russia and Spain. Matt: That is not- Vladimir: My babies came from Russia and Spain, Matvey! Matt: Well if you want to get technical! Jack was born in Hell’s Kitchen! You idiot! ~oOo~ Mariah: Oh, Misty. Lucille is just... such a delightful child... Misty: Thank you, Mariah. I just... adore Honor... Danny & Shades, both sighing: ... ~oOo~ Matt: What's wrong?! Why are you bleeding?! Vasya, crying: I think I have internal bleeding! Matt: Oh honey. Internal means it's on the inside. Vladimir, smacking the back of Matt's head: Asshole. ~oOo~ Lucille: Breathe in. Now breathe out. Breathe in. ... Jack. Dani. Wake up. Vasya: They don't like meditating very much. Jack, snoring: ... Danielle, snoring: ... ~oOo~ Karen: You taught her how to treat a hemorrhage but not a period?! Matt: I didn't think it was important?! ~oOo~ Taka: I’m like the Malcolm X of our community! ~oOo~ Jack: Hey Siri, what was it like being poor and Asian? Marie: Terrible from what I’ve heard from my grandma. Peyton: Well, the mangoes aren’t as good in America. ~oOo~ Toly: I love fencing. I get to make new friends then stab them. ~oOo~ Vasya: I think I'm dying! Matt: Honey we're all dying. Vladimir, smacks Matt on the back of the head: What is your fucking problem tonight?! ~oOo~ Ravdí: Peyton, when you asked us to choreograph a dance number for this musical, you did not say that it was for Maddie’s zombie love story. Peyton: Yeah! Isn’t it a great idea?! Maddie’s story makes for a great musical and with you and Vas making a dance, I think this will be a big hit! Vasya, staring at Jamie: ... uh huh. Got this.... Ravdí: ... fiiine. We’re choreographing a dance number for zombies in love. Let’s go, Vas. ~oOo~ Bucky, wearing galaxy print yoga pants: Look my pants are out of this world so shove it. Vladimir: ... damn that was good. High five, Yakov. ~oOo~ Honor: Richard, I can taste your axe body spray. Get off of me! ~oOo~ Vasya: Well a drunk Stalin called me and told me that if I wanted Russia, he’d just give it to me! Matt: ... we need new Sunday dinner topics... Shauna: Ooh! I got one! Vladimir! You smell like melted cheese! Jack, whispering to Toly: You owe me five bucks. Eight minutes in and they’re screaming at each other. Matt, sighing: This is fine... Anatoly: I have vodka. Do you want some? ~oOo~ Yelena: If that boy so much as touches her I am destroying him. Natasha: I've already thought of ways we can hide his body. Yelena: I love you so much. ~oOo~ Michael: Both of my girls could kick my ass without even blinking and I find it unbelievably amazing. ~oOo~ Brad: Ooh authentic Chinese food! Diane: It's not Chinese, it's Asian! André: ... ya'll bitches be trippin'. ~oOo~ Richard: So I talked to your sister about who's the boss on this group project. Jack: Uh huh. How'd that go exactly? Who's in charge on your project? Richard: ... it's still unclear. Jack: Right. My sister is in charge, isn't she? Richard, sighing: I can't tell her no. ~oOo~ Maddie: ... why is there a live bear in the house? Marci: What? ... Ahhh! Bear! ~oOo~ Vladimir, saluting lazily: Aye aye captain. Yelena, ugly snort laughs: Shut up Vova. ~oOo~ Bucky: So how's that Eurofest thing going? Vladimir, pausing: ... you mean Eurovision? Bucky, snapping his fingers: Yep! That's it. ... don't look at me like that. I was closer that time than I was earlier. Vladimir: ... this. Is true. I don't even know what you said earlier. ~oOo~ Toly: Hey, Al? Alexei: Yeah? Toly: What was that? Alexei: An icecream commercial. Toly: No the fuck it wasn’t! Don’t you lie to me! ~oOo~ Jack: So you love my sister? Michael: Sí, more than air. Why? Jack: Would you be willing to take a bullet for her? Michael: ... yes? Why? Jack: I'll see you at the pier later tonight, Moretti. ~oOo~ Alexei: Man if one more person tells me that I am appropriating my own got dang culture Imma beat someone's ass. ~oOo~ Richard: I can't believe you said that! If you weren't a lady, I'd deck you! Vasya: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date! ~oOo~ Raphael: Wait, wait, wait! Hold on. You’re dumping me? For him? Nika, rolling her eyes: No, I’m dumping you, period. And then I’m gonna be with him. Period. If... that’s okay with him, question mark. Francis: Totally. Exclamation point. Raphael: Oh puke. Parenthesis, bold, underline. Michael, holding Smolya: Snort laughing. ... period. Raphael: Why are you even here? Michael: This is my apartment! ~oOo~ Yelena, after explaining a plan: It’s brilliant, right? Vladimir: Not brilliant at all. Yelena: Thanks for being on board. Vladimir: No. Not on board. Yelena: It means a lot. Vladimir: Big mistake. Very big mistake. Yelena: This will be wonderful! Vladimir: We are going to die slow, painful deaths. ~oOo~ Yelena: You get them! Vladimir: No you go get them! Natasha: What is going on out here? Yelena: We thought- Vladimir: Ah! No! There was no 'we'! Yelena: Shut up! We thought that the girls needed some life lessons... Vladimir: It was Lena's idea. Matt: Don't you dare tell me that Vasya and Nika, who are small toddlers may I add, are somewhere up there on that 100 foot tall building! Yelena: Okay, we won't. Vladimir: ... again, her idea. ~oOo~ Vasya: Fuck you! Dimitri: Later. Now shut up. I was talking. ~oOo~ Jack: I want to kill those guys! Vladimir: No! Matt: What a shocking turn of events... Vladimir: I don’t want you to bloody your beautiful hands! I will do it! ~oOo~ Vladimir: Oh congrats! You’ve made my seven year old look like a whore! Shauna: I think she looks great! Vasya: I think I want a leather jacket and combat boots now! Matt, groaning: Our seven year old is joining the mafia! ~oOo~ Rikki: I am a chapstick lesbian- is that the proper term for this? Because I’m not a lipstick lesbian, I’m definitely not femme, but I’m not entirely butch either? So I think I identify as a chaptstick les- screw it. I identify as chapstick! Just chapstick! Darla: What kind of chaptstick though? Sasha: Is it cherry? Because I see you as a cherry. ~oOo~ Marie: I’m like a Little Ceaser’s Pizza. Always hot and ready to go. Jack: Oh my god... Peyton: You’re gross. And I hate you. ~oOo~ Alexei: Toly’s a crackhead. Toly: I am not! I’m a motha fucking ganster! Alexei: See? Smokes crack. Andrey: I’m seeing myself out of this argument. ~oOo~ Yelena: All these screaming babies and yelling mothers and angry dads and annoying teenagers. They make me want to shoot up this mall. Nika: You cannot say that in public! Yelena: Why not?! It’s my second amendment right to shoot up a shopping center! Nika: NO! ~oOo~ Darla: I’m not much into BDSM. If I wanted to be whipped and chained up I’d just go back in time. ~oOo~ Peyton: Oh my sweet, poor, Japanese cherry blossom... Taka: Thank you. ~oOo~ Michael: This person wants us to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to them?! What?! Rahphael, snorts: That’s not happening. What do they think this is? Applebees?! ~oOo~ Peyton: It annoys me so much when people come here asking if we have a table and then get so offended when we don’t have them because of incoming reservations. Jamie: Honestly! What do they think this is?! Applebees?! We are a five star establishment! ~oOo~ Anatoly: You three better eat these pierogies! I didn’t starve in Utkin for you to deny yourselves food! Alexei, Toly, and Andrey, sighing: Yes, sir... ~oOo~ Bucky: You are a whole ass menace to society! Yelena: I will live. ~oOo~ Wesley: ... I’ve lost Maya. Fisk: Again, Wesley? Wesley, sighing: Unfortunately. ~oOo~ Lucy: I fear nothing. Not even god. Dani, Vasya, and Honor, watching her drink a smoothie: You’re disgusting. Jack: Can I have some of your smoothie? ~oOo~ Daisy: Being an inhuman is genetic. Vladimir: She gets this from your side of the family, Matthew! Daisy: But... you two adopt- Matt: I know. Don’t ask. Go with it. ~oOo~ Ian: Ugh, what do I take for hangovers? Darla: How horribly caucasian. Marie, snorts: Ha! Darla: Well isn’t it?! Marie, shrugging: I don’t know. I get the Asian flush so I take medicine before drinking. ~oOo~ Vladimir: I wonder what she’s going to buy... Matt: I wonder where she got the money... Jack: Vasi’s buying a bag of pepperoni! ~oOo~ Shauna: Look, we all know Toly won’t get into Harvard otherwise- Toly: What if I don’t want to go to Harvard?! Shauna: Ugh fine! Yale then! Toly: But mom- Shauna: Harvard or Yale Anatoly Jr! ~oOo~ Vasya: At least you all woke up in a bed! I woke up in the garbage! Jack: Okay. But. That’s nothing new. Nika, elbows him: Don’t be rude. ~oOo~ Sasha: I was in the dumpster! The dumpster! Rikki: My mom is blue! Darla: So I can see that this is a very stressful time for you both... ~oOo~ Dani: Lucy’s gonna be a minute. Vasya: Did she wake up in the trash too? Dani: No, she woke up half Asian. Lucy’s having a full blown identity crisis. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Your house is full! Full of sadness and emptiness! Yelena: Alright first off, you’re rude. Second, you’re a hoarder! ~oOo~ Sam: We don’t need this! Bucky: Sam, need and want are two different things. ~oOo~ Matt: I may not have vision but at least I have taste! ~oOo~ Vladimir: Ooh! For realsky?! Vasya: For suresky! ~oOo~ Anatoly: No son of mine is going to listen to shitty rap about doing cocaine! Alexei, thinking to himself: Please don’t tell mom... Anatoly: And Alexei Anatolyevitch! I am telling! Your mother! Alexei: Noooo!!!! ~oOo~ Therapist: Mr. Murdock, I think that Ms. Natchios may be one of your triggers. Matt: Please! I don’t have triggers! I am fine! Vladimir, snorts and coughs to cover it up: Okay. Elektra: Suuure you are Matthew. Matt: I will throw this chair at you, I swear to God! Don’t test me! ~oOo~ Shauna, lunging for Wesley: Augh! I can’t take it anymore! Vladimir, watching her punch Wesley: Shauna has earned my respect. Matt: It only took you five years to give it to her... ~oOo~ Jack: I’m so American that my favorite food is a McDonald’s cheeseburger! ~oOo~ Vladimir: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?! Vasya: I dunno! Maybe if they invited me! Matt, slowly rubs his temples: ... I have a headache now... ~oOo~ Yelena: I drive like I have nothing to live for. Which I don’t really. Vladimir: Remind me to never drive near you with my children in the car. Natasha: And remind me to drive Nika around from now on. ~oOo~ Rikki: What do Asian parents beat their kids with? Francis: I don’t know. Textbooks? Ian: Rulers with F’s written on them? Jack: Slippers? Marie, glaring: I’m judging you all harshly. Jack: But are we wrong?! Marie: They feed us! Francis: Well that’s not a punishment. Marie: It is if you don’t like the thing they’re making you eat. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Has anyone seen my son?! He’s about yay tall! Clearly gay! But we haven’t had the talk yet! ~oOo~ Yelena: SHOW ME LOVE! SHOW ME LOVE! Nika: Mom... what is going on? Natasha, stirring her coffee: Oh just the usual amount of bullshit I deal with on a daily basis due to your other mother. ~oOo~ Maddie: I’m supposed to be in class. Ravdí: It’s okay, I’m supposed to be at work. ~oOo~ Darla: Oh what do I know?! Only what’s best for you! Rikki: I’m self destructive. Darla: I was just kidding. Rikki: I wasn’t. ~oOo~ Anatoly: How’s your dad’s restaurant doing? Alex: Very well. Alexei: Grandpa deletes bad reviews off his facebook so it only has five star reviews. He sees two stars, delete! Five star, it stays. Alex: He needs to fix the roof. Anatoly: ... what’s wrong with the roof? Alex: It’s old. Alexei: It leaks. Alex: The AC needs to be fixed too. Anatoly: What’s wrong with the AC? Alex: It’s old. Alexei: It’s broken. Shauna: ... I love your dad’s restaurant! ~oOo~ Vasya: Does anyone know if the damage control shampoo works on PTSD? Adrian: What about emotions? Asking for a friend. ~oOo~ Yelena: Oh god it’s missing! Natasha: What is? Yelena: The... the thing! Natasha, turning to face Yelena with baby Nika in her arms: What ‘thing’, Lenosha? Yelena, sighing in relief: Oh thank god, you found it. Natasha: ... you mean our daughter?! ~oOo~ Francis: A four letter word starting with ‘c’. Go! Rikki: Cock! Jack: Cunt! Rikki: Ooh! Nice one. Vasya: ... mine is corn. Nika: Well that’s adorable. Darla: Cute. ~oOo~ Vladimir: So it’s just a girls night? Vasya: Yeah, we’re just going to see a movie, grab a bite to eat, talk to the dead, and, if we have time, try to commit arson. Vladimir: Okay, have fun and don’t come back too late! Matt: ... after all that you just let her leave?! She said she’s going to commit arson, Vladimir! Vladimir: No, she said they’re going to try! They have to talk to the dead first, Matthew! ~oOo~ Matt, on the phone with Brett: Yeah, hey, if you get a call about a fire, can you give me a call? No reason. ~oOo~ Ravdí: Hey! I waterboarded myself! ~oOo~ Honor: This is a three day vacation! Lucy: Where are we supposed to be sleeping?! Richard: Well I just assumed you two would be inside each other. Jack, spits his drink out: ... ~oOo~ Vasya: So I met this girl at this coffee shop this morning- Honor: Oh no... No no no no. Vasi. You will not come out of this alive. Vasya: Uh... excuse me? Honor: She’s clearly a cannibal. Have you looked at yourself? You’re clearly an easy target. You’re a ballerina and very well marbled. If I were stuck on a deserted island with no food, I would absolutely eat you first. Literally everyone just stares: ... ~oOo~ AJ, the highschool art teacher, very clearly drunk: Listening to Brad talk is like listening to a horny bear claw into a chalkboard. I’m not pleased. Matt: ... well neither am I with that in mind. Shauna: I’m going to throw up. Bucky: God I love PTA meetings! ~oOo~ Honor: Gay kid! Alexei, blinks a lot: ... Honor: Asian girl! Marie: ... Marie. It’s not a hard name. Honor: Asian girl two! Peyton, inhaling deeply: ... she’s a kid. Breathe... Honor: Panda Express! Jamie: ... I swear to god... Honor: Weird twins! Rikki and Darla, blink and roll their eyes: ... Honor: Creepy incest twins! Jack and Vasya: ... we are not- Richard: Okay! So theater club meeting is in session now! ~oOo~ Ravdí: Sloppy babies! You’re all sloppy babies! Dani: Maybe we shouldn’t be calling the freshmen that. And give them encouraging words of wisdom instead? Ravdí: No! They keep dropping their flags! Again, babies! ~oOo~ Richard: Aren’t most of you gay? Honor: How dare you! ~oOo~ Ravdí: I’m sorry. All this time I’ve been treating you like an unpaid intern. When what I should have been doing is treating you like a paid intern. ~oOo~ Jack: Buenos dias, fuckboy! Ian, screaming shrilly: ... ~oOo~ Alexei: We’re all going to die someday. Well. Some of us. Toly: If you figure out immortality you have to share. Alexei: Uh. No. You’re annoying. Andrey: Will you share with me? Alexei: Maybe. ~oOo~ Alexei: Let’s come together! Like Voltron! Andrey: I’m the leg! Toly, rolling his eyes, softly but with feeling: ... fiiine. Losers. ~oOo~ Jack: I wrote this song for my sister! Vasya, closing her eyes, softly but with feeling: Ohgodno... Jack: I wrote this song to tell her that I’m always by her side! Even when we fight! Vladimir & Matt: Aww! ~oOo~ Andrey: Sometimes I feel like Ugolyok films me while in the shower and is waiting to sell the videos on Craigslist. Toly: ... what is wrong with you...? Alexei: ... I... uh... kay. ~oOo~ Lucy and Honor, trapped in an elevator, staring at a creepy puppet on a bike: ... What the ... hell... The puppet: Hello, girls. Let’s play a game. Lucy and Honor, banging on the door: Get us out of here! ~oOo~ Dani: You’re not letting them out of the elevator, are you? Richard: Nope. Not until they confess their feelings. Vasya: This is maniacal... I like this plan. Jack: You are all. So fucked up. ~oOo~ Maddie: I’m going to start projectile vomiting any second now... ~oOo~ The Principal of the highschool: I say we release the hounds into the school. Nick, the highschool science teacher, eyes wide: Let us not do that. AJ, the highschool art teacher: I think it might build character and therefore I veto Nick. ~oOo~ Ravdí, screaming as she runs down the hall: Why are there so many dogs in the hallways?! Vasya: This is the opposite of a problem! Francis: I love them all! Nika, climbing up the lockers, and hissing: Leave me alone! Unless you’re planning on eating my math homework! ~oOo~ Vasya: I will stop at nothing until you are homeless and drinking gutter water. Richard: Ouch. You’re rude.

[josephina2740-blog]

My dear Zenna, where did I go wrong with you? You used to be so full of love and light and now you are soulless, your body is a shell. No soul remains in that shell. Where did your beautiful smile go? Are you dead inside? You are dead inside. What can I do to fix this? I want my Zenna back. Your life became a disaster, now what’s become of you? What can I do to bring you back to life? Do you believe in god? Have you sinned? If you did, did you do it at your own free will? Were you forced? Have those people been good to you? Is there any part of you that is still alive? Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me for what you’ve been through? Do you blame me for what you’ve been through? Are you always angry? Are you always sad? I still love you. You made me a grandma first. Your choice was bold. Was it on purpose? Wad it an accident? I’m not mad, I just want you back. We are not getting any younger. Age isn’t just a number. It effects life. Age was just a number until everything I ever loved was taken from me. I was never the same when you left. It wasn’t my fault. I’m sorry if you think I put my career first. I did not put my silly career first. I had to put money on the table. I had to put money on the table for you to eat. Without money, you all would go hungry. I am filthy rich now. Being filthy rich doesn’t bring me happiness. Only my offspring’s can make me happy. When you were born, I gave you a strong name.  Zenna is a strong name, strong is what you are. You gave your offspring a strong name, Nerina. Nerina is strong like Zenna. You started the next generation of the Leighton’s. None of my other children have children. You were the first, possibly the last.

Shauna Leighton

[bree83]

Add another day

“Celebration when your plan is working? Anyone can do that. But when you realize that the story of your life could be told a thousand different ways, that you could tell it over and over as a tragedy, but you choose to call it an epic, that's when you start to learn what celebration is. When what you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong, that's celebration.” ― Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life

[vvalliu]

[dinahmarler]

The Bold And The Beautiful Spoilers For The Week Of September 6, 2021: Finn Has To Make A Decision, Eric Comes Up With A Solution.

-  The Bold and The Beautiful spoilers for the week of September 6 are out. And they reveal that a lot of action will be focused on Finn. He will have to make a tough choice between his mother and Sheila in the upcoming days. Spoilers also suggest that Eric will come to know about something and have some unconventional solution.

- More The Bold and the Beautiful spoilers suggest that things will get complicated between Zende and Paris. Why would that happen? Keep reading to find out.Quinn Confides In Shauna.As we start the week of September 4, 2021, spoilers suggest that Eric will accidentally listen to a private conversation between his wife Quinn and her friend Shauna. It looks like in this conversation, Quinn will be telling her bestie about how thrilled she is about getting back with Eric. But, she will also tell her about one thing that she is missing. B&B viewers know that Eric has erectile dysfunction, so Quinn will confess that she wants to make love and be intimate with her husband, but she can’t. It is impossible. 

-   More related spoilers suggest that Eric will listen to all of this, and he will feel a number of emotions there. He will feel jealous because he knows that Quinn & Carter  had an affair, but he will also feel guilty because he can’t give his wife what she wants. So, The Bold and the Beautiful spoilers suggest that Eric will soon come up with a rather unconventional idea. What will this be? We will know soon.

- The Bold And The Beautiful: Finn’s World.

On the other end of the town, The Bold and the Beautiful spoilers suggest that Sheila will go to the guesthouse and see her son. She will go there to apologize to him for everything that she has done. But, it looks like Finn will tell his mother that he has promised Steffy that he wouldn’t have any kind of contact with her. But then, things will change when she collapses right in front of him. Finn will become an emotional wreck and call an ambulance.

More related spoilers suggest that Finn will call Steffy too. He will tell her everything that happened, and Steffy will feel like something is up there. She will go and visit Sheila at the hospital and start accusing her of faking it. Steffy is aware that Sheila is more than capable of orchestrating this whole drama. After all, this won’t be the first time she would do something like this.

Nevertheless, after Steffy is done hurling accusations, she will tell Finn that all of this is just a part of Sheila’s scheme to drive them apart. She will warn Finn that if he continues to believe this, he will play right into Sheila’s scheme.

-Spoilers suggest that Finn will believe Steffy because he knows that Sheila won’t stop until she has got what she wants. Right now, her goal is to tear Steffy&Finn apart.  o, Finn will believe that this is one of the tricks that Sheila has up her sleeves. Speaking of Sheila and her tricks, spoilers suggest that she has a number of tricks up her sleeve, and she has already started using a few of them. Spoilers claim that Steffy will be surprised when she sees the heart emoji Finn had texted her nemesis. Of course, Sheila was right when she guessed that he wouldn’t have told Steffy any of this. So, this will shock her to her core.

Paris Has Other Plans

On the other end of town, The Bold and the Beautiful spoilers suggest that Paris’s boyfriend Zende will ask her to live with him on the Forrester estate. But Paris will turn him down. It looks like she is where she really wants to be. She is in close proximity with Finn, and that works for her. While she has told Zende that she hopes Steffy and Finn work things out, does she really wants that? It doesn’t look like so. It is possible that deep down, she might be secretly hoping that the two of them would break up and she would have a shot with him.

- More Zende-related spoilers suggest that he will soon come to know about Finn and Steffy’s latest relationship update. Pairs will tell him that Steffy hasn’t submitted their marriage certificate.  Paris will express a lot of sympathy for Finn, but Zende won’t feel the same. He will make it clear that he is on Steffy’s side in this whole thing.

The Bold and the Beautiful viewers know that Zende has already told Paris that he is aware of what she feels about Finn. In the upcoming days, he might start accusing her of having a crush on the handsome doctor. Zende believes that because Paris supports Finn, she might have feelings there. So, he will accuse her of that.

However, Paris will deny it. The question is, Is Zende right? Lately, Paris is doing everything to be in Finn’s orbit. She dropped by the guesthouse a couple of times to see if he was okay. But is she just concerned about him, or does she has some romantic feelings? Only time will tell.

[emiwaynews]

‘The Bold and the Beautiful’ Spoilers: Denise Richards (Shauna Fulton) Feels Reflective As She Celebrates the Big 5-0!http://www.emiwaynews.com/the-bold-and-the-beautiful-spoilers-denise-richards-shauna-fulton-feels-reflective-as-she-celebrates-the-big-5-0/?feed_id=12806&_unique_id=603a8d90268dd

[cbdessentials4life]

CBS The Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers Quinn revealed the shocking news to Eric, Shauna was stunned

CBS The Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers Quinn revealed the shocking news to Eric, Shauna was stunned - https://cbdessentials4life.com/index.php/2020/12/13/cbs-the-bold-and-the-beautiful-spoilers-quinn-revealed-the-shocking-news-to-eric-shauna-was-stunned/

[yoosungshoodie]

Mono No Aware — 物の哀れ

FANDOM: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder CHARACTERS: Eisuke Ichinomiya/MC WORD COUNT:  2216 GENRE: Angst WARNINGS: Illness, pregnancy. AUTHOR’S NOTE: Part one of two. Dedicated to @kiserusmoke and @catchthespade, I should really be working on my ongoing fics but Shauna challenged me to write in a tradeoff since I was having a horrible writer’s block. 

Mono no aware (物の哀れ) 1. the awareness of impermanence 2. the particular sadness or sensitivity regarding the passage of time 3. understanding the transience of life

Eisuke and her want a baby and get exactly that; but no good things come without a price.

When she drums her fingers over the top of his palms in the morning to wake him up, he thinks it’s one of the strangest things; the women he loved before were far less easily appeased. He doesn’t think much of their mornings besides the loving that comes with it, the warm coffee that emcomapasses the room and the quiet chatter. She tells him about her problems and he listens intently, even if his tone remains dipped in disinterest.

He’s never going to be accustomed to her, not ever. While his work ethic sometimes betrays him, his days are spent with her in mind, during meetings and presentations and phone calls and everything he could be doing. There are days when they’re troubled that he disregards his work entirely to think about her–a bad habit he’s picked up from being lovesick. Eisuke tells himself that he needs to do great things and it’s become more for her nowadays than to prove that there wasn’t a gaping hole in his heart.

Here are some things he knows:

There is an unsettled longing that satisfies itself whenever he’s so much as in her presence. He wakes up to his bed smelling like her and he thinks it is far better than any kind of perfume that was worn by the other women that came and went.

He is aware she watches him at night with wide eyes and utter adoration. He wants to tell her he’s sorry for all the times he’s been cold when she looks at him as if he had hung the stars and moon in the sky. While he pretends to be asleep, a hand that doesn’t belong to him caresses his cheek. Once, she tells him, “I hope you love me as much as I love you. I know it’s hard for you to be honest with your feelings.”

He doesn’t get that much sleep for the rest of the night.

When she wakes up, he’s the one that makes her coffee this time.

Words come easier to him when they’re less about his feelings and more about what he knows. He knows things like suits and meetings and graphs and presentations more than he does about the discomfort in his chest when he sees her with other men. For someone so precise, he’s entirely lost when it comes to his own emotions.

There are silent apologies that die in his throat when he’s cold with her; he doesn’t understand love like Baba and the others do. He secretly wants to apologize every time he knows he’s being too demanding of her and when he says things senselessly; it takes him a while to understand that the truth did not need to be brought to light at times.

He finds this out at first when he swiftly brings up Dubai and the mess that comes with it. Sporting a bullet wound, he reminds her that it would be odd if nothing happened at all while they were in England, and succinctly reminds her of Dubai. The fallen and teary look that crosses her features paired with a quiet resignation of words is enough to remind himself to never bring up Dubai again. He doesn’t.

In his heart of hearts, he wishes somewhere that he could be what she deserved. Takahiro was someone deserving of her; they could’ve been disgustingly normal and happy together if she had chosen him. And yet she didn’t.

So when she chooses him, he vows to know everything about her. He wants to know her and by consequence, know his emotions as well. While being out of control had been a new experience for him, he tells himself he wouldn’t mind, because it was her. He’d do anything for her.

And he has to give her credit, for dealing with someone like him. Eisuke knows and had vaguely calculated his probability of finding someone was slim. He understands he’s hard to love not because he can’t, but because he doesn’t know how. A fumbling fool in the name of love made embarrassments and apprehensiveness common; another thing he wasn’t used to. It works out though when he has the ability to keep a straight face through anything.

Eisuke understands that he’s indebted to her and he understands there’s only one thing to do: plan the rest of his life with her.

So he envisions great things, like twins or maybe a son who’s just as much as a brat as he is, champagne on anniversaries and promises kept throughout the years. Seeing her bloom from a fumbling hotel worker to a queen by his side was a sight; the possibilities with someone like her, deemed ordinary by everyone else, was endless. Thankfully, it’s her who brings up the notion of children first, despite it being a complete accident.

It was seldom that Eisuke had free time. The days he did were always spent with her, however, doing whatever mundane thing she wished for considering she had spent most of his work time at his beck and call.

This resulted in them walking hand in hand down a boardwalk, her mouth half filled with a pretzel he had bought her (they argued over who was going to pay briefly) and in the middle of a debate sparked from a screaming toddler.

“I’m not saying that kids aren’t annoying.”

“And they are.”

“So if we had a kid, would you call them an annoyance?”

“…Getting bold, aren’t we?”

It took her a moment to understand what he meant with that smirk, and her face lit up a glowing red when she realized what she’d done.

“Well! I mean, th-that’s just assuming you know… that we’d…” When her voice trailed off he couldn’t help himself from gripping her hand a little tighter, eyes wandering towards the path ahead of them while they had slowly made their way back to the Tres Spades.

“Of course we would. Where else am I going to get an heir of the Ichinomiya group from? Unless…”

“That’s not funny.” She swatted his arm defensively.

“It absolutely is.”

He understood that he loved her more than anyone he’d ever encounter, and when he had married her, he was aware that he could never love anyone besides her. In regards to his former lovers, he always wished he could pick apart pieces of them to keep and others to disregard; and with her, he wanted all of her. Every fiber and atom had to be his, and he wouldn’t dare leave anything out from her.

“Well, thank you.”

He stared at her quizzically, a brow knit upwards. “For what?”

“For letting me be the one to have the heir of the Ichinomiya Group.” She said ‘heir of the Ichinomiya Group’ as if she was reading off an expensive item from a menu.

“Well. I have high expectations of you.”

When she saw a blush settle itself over his features, he had gone out of his way to make a point that it was simply the sunset.

“And just what are we thinking bout so early in the morning?” He mumbled into her ear as he stood behind her, fingers moving up and down her sides.

She had been standing in front of the mirror to examine the vibrant hickeys he had left on her after a very long night together, and Eisuke found himself admiring his own work while he watched her. She was nothing short of stunning, and she was his.

“N-Nothing.” Her words tumbled out breathless, all adoration and love as a hand snaked around her waist and lips descended on her neck, intent on leaving another spot. A familiar smirk worked its way over to his lips while she let out an involuntary moan.

Known best to himself, responsibilities were important. They both had obligations that they needed to attend to and Eisuke enjoyed his work extensively. However, when it came to her, all sense of that flew out the door in replacement of spending time with her. His resolve was as shoddy as a teenager’s if she had any involvement in it.

And thus he remained relentless as a free hand began to glide lower and lower, until his fingers were placed over her underwear. That same hand had began rubbing itself rather mercilessly towards a particularly sensitive spot of hers, and the reaction he got out of her from that alone was enough to decide their plans for the rest of the morning. He knew he was being selfish at the moment.

“Ah… we can’t… I have to go to work soon…” She had murmured hoarsely, and Eisuke paid no consideration to her words as he turned her and set her on top of their bed.

He found himself on top of her, both hands to the sides of her head as she looked up at him entirely lust-ridden. Never change, he thought to himself as he inspected her.

“The only work you need to do,” His words trailed off as his lips began trailing down her neck again, a hand yanking the strap of her pajama downwards. “Is to satisfy me.”

The look of complete debauchery on her when he looked up was almost enough to make him lose his train of thought. She always looked so beautiful to him when her eyes turned glassy with pleasure and her cheeks flared a particular red he had never seen on another woman. He was reminded again that he was never to let her go or face his own demise as well.

“After all, the best part about having a baby is making one.”

It was a Thursday, and the love of his life was seven weeks pregnant. He had sighed and sifted through his memories while having a moment to himself between paperwork, twirling around the idea of a miniature her crawling about the penthouse.

It would be a good idea to start baby-proofing the place , Eisuke thought to himself as he inspected the office vaguely. The future had seemed so grandiose and large even in a way he couldn’t handle when he thought about it, and he was closed to getting himself carried away before the shrill ring of a phone had crash landed him back into reality.

“Eisuke?” Her voice was trembling, something that rarely happened. It had taken Eisuke nine seconds to consider all the worst case scenarios that would flood his mind, and he could already picture the watery smile that always placed itself on her features when she was upset. He had half the muscle memory to reach out and crush her against his chest, but she wasn’t there at the moment.

Calm down.

“What is it?” He knew something was wrong. His brain was screaming it, despite the silence.

Calm down.

“There’s— I’m coming home right now. Are you busy?”

Calm down.

She was holding back tears, he noted sharply as he sat up in his seat. The paperwork could be done with later, the meeting in three hours and twenty six minutes could be pushed back for tomorrow, and Kenzaki could handle whatever came up if Eisuke had sounded irritated enough over the phone.

“I finished work early.” He lied swiftly as he shut his laptop and left his office, a free hand nervously placed on the nape of his neck. He didn’t need her to feel bad about taking up his time; he would’ve been too nervous to do any real work for the rest of the day anyways.

“Okay. I’ll be home soon.”

She was trying to be strong and he could tell by the strength in her voice before she hung up, which concerned him more than it should—the scenarios that ran through his mind were nothing short of morbid and awful, but all plausible.

He ran through the ideas like he ran through his talking points before a meeting. Her mother died, her father died, she was having an affair, the baby wasn’t his, she lost the baby, this and that and every awful thought he keeps to himself comes flooding to mind in the five minutes he counts (by the seconds) for her to come home.

He saw her walk in at four minutes and forty two seconds with her fingers trembling so much he could see it from across the room.

“What’s wrong?” It sounded more like a statement than a question. He wasted no time making his way over to her, a hand moving to press against the back of her head and another against her waist as he pulled her to him.

She was crying, and he could hear every sniffle and feel every shaky exhale when he held her.

Say it. Just say it. Whatever it is, we can work with it. He didn’t have it in him to speak.

“…Cervical cancer.”

He didn’t so much as breathe. “What?”

She took no consideration to answer him, instead finding herself crumpled against his chest with loud sobs that almost seemed childlike considering the intensity of it.

For once, Eisuke Ichinomiya had been cornered in such a helpless way he can only remember this feeling vaguely from his childhood. It didn’t settle with him well. The only thing he could do in that moment was to hold her.

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

Celebration when your plan is working? Anyone can do that. But when you realize that the story of your life could be told a thousand different ways, that you could tell it over and over as a tragedy, but you choose to call it an epic, that’s when you start to learn what celebration is. When what you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong, that’s celebration. — Shauna Niequist